Post a joke

here is one for the canadian people here

In a train there was a Canadian, an American, a spectacular looking blonde and a frightfully awful looking fat lady.

The train happens to pass through a dark tunnel, and the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard.

When they leave the tunnel, the American had a big red slap mark on his cheek.

** The blonde thought - "That American son of a bitch wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who in turn must have slapped his face"

** The fat lady thought - "That dirty old American must have laid his hands on the blond and she smacked him"

** The American thought - "That damn Canadian put his hand on that blond and by mistake she slapped me"

** The Canadian thought - "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack that stupid American again"

[video=youtube;Nf314o6r1n0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf314o6r1n0[/video]

Ok Ok stop me if you've heard this one:

George W. Bush

An elderly woman sees a breaking news story on TV about a car going the wrong way on the freeway. Her husband is out, so she taps numbers into her Jitterbug. "Be careful, Dear ... I just heard there's a car going the wrong way on the freeway."

Her husband's terrified voice comes back "Not one, Martha ... hundreds!!" cn

[h=2]The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?"

Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."[/h]

Q: How is virginity like a balloon?

A: One prick and it's gone.

Thank you!

I'll be here all week.

Try the veal!

I got a new job today helping sexually abused teenagers...

...find their way out of my house.

How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
Aids.

Why did the woman cross the road?
Who cares what's she doing out of the kitchen in the first place.

What kind of file do you need to make a hole 'o' this size, into a hole 'O' that size?

A pedo-file.

How many children can you fit in the average British phonebox?

My records 43.

a guy in the army was telling his buddy about his plane jump training , but got scared .

so the drill sargent yells at him , you jump out this plane right now or im going to shove my dick up your ass !

his friend says , did you jump ?

he says , alittle at first ,,, lol

this cop was walking down the street , and happen to see two little drunks laying in the gutter ,

he didnt think much of it til he looked closer and saw that one of the drunks had his finger shoved up the other drunks ass ,,

so he asked the drunk what he was doing ? the guy looked up and said , hi offcier , see this here is my friend

and he drank to much so im trying to make him throw up ,

the cop laughed and said , well i dont think having your finger shoved up his ass is going to make him throwup , lol

and the little drunk looked up and said , oh yeah just wait til i put this finger in his mouth ,,

lol

Another sick one...

What kind of tea makes you walk funny?

Amputee.

Favorite old drunk joke.
The police find a drunk passed out in a gutter. They wake him.
"You're under arrest for public drunkenness! Anything you say will be held against you."
The drunk leered up at the officers, slurred "Salma Hayek!" and passed out.
cn

What do atheists yell during orgasm?

Oh Darwin. Oh Darwin .

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a roosterwearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, "What on earth is that all about?" The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop two months ago andall his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm." "Okay, but that was two months ago. Why does he still wear them?" The farmer replied, "There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."