Post a joke

Man goes to the doctor complaining about his penis. doc asks whats wrong with your penis. Guy drops his drawers and there it it, the orangest penis the doctors ever seen. After running a battery of tests, which were all negative, the doctor is stumped. So he begins to question the man. What do you do for a living? The man replies, "Oh I'm unemployed". So the doc asks, "what do you do all day". The man replies, "Not much doc, mostly just sit around watching porn and eating Cheetos"

^hahahah, too close to home

Ur sick ROTFLMAO

Two guys walk into a bar..........I forget the rest but your mother's a whore. Haha one of my favs.

Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking himself. The first man says "wish I could do that". The second man replies "maybe you should pet him first."

Why do women wear white on their wedding day?
So the dishwasher matches the stove.

Why aren't there any mexicans in the olympics?

Because any mexican that can run, swim, or jump is an American.

Little Johnny once asked his teacher "Do hearts have legs?."
The teacher answered "Why do you ask that?"
Johnny replied "Yesterday, I heard my dad say sweetheart open your legs."

Q: What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest?

A: One cuts it off, the other sucks it off.

A good one to cheer up your kids, or the kid of that chick you're trying to bang~

Q: What did one snowman say to the other?

A: Smells like carrots.

What's invisible and smells like sparrow?

Kitty farts. cn

How many dead hookers can you fit in a shed?

Another two if I move my bike.

Playboy magazine shows up @ Ole Miss doing a "Cunts of the SEC" spread.....The photographer finds a pair of drop dead gorgeous AA twins. They both agree to the photo shoot. The photographer has them sprawled out on a bearskin rug, all intertwined with each other as he madly dashes around the room checking his camera angles and lighting set-up. Becoming very bored with the delay, one sister asks the other sister,:

"Was he doin'?" sister #1 ax.

"I think he's tryin' to focus" replies sister #2.

"Bof us?" asks sister #1

"

One day super-man decided he wanted to go out and party so he called up iron-man and batman and told em he would meet em in gotham city for a big ass party. So while he was flyin there from his fortress of solitude he sees wonder-woman laying on the beach below sun bathing naked. Now Super-man figures hey I'm the fastest man alive I can fly down there and be done b4 she ever knows what happened, so he flies down and takes care of business and he's gone b4 wonder-woman can even open her eyes. When she does she says WTF was that, and the Invisible man says, IDK but it hurt like hell.

what does a gay horse eat??

HAYYYY! *gay voice*

cannabineer said:

Click to expand...

How do you make a boy cry twice?

















Wipe your bloody dick on his teddy bear.

title IRISH LOGIC

A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help. "Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says, "I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother. "Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies.
He then goes to his sister's room. "Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father. "Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."

HEHE Girls Night out my second best pub joke
Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'