You know you're stoned when.......

[SSG_Ranger]

You move things off the top of the stove because ghosts could turn on the burners, catch them on fire and burn down your house

 

[dodacky]

When you open the fridge door and forgot why you opened it.

ha story of my life. pretty much garanteed to do this at least once every time im blazed

 

[Thatrated]

when I can't stop talking... Like a girl

 

[SSG_Ranger]

you look at an infant on a TV show and realize there must be a whole industry in Hollywood devoted to churning out babies to be on TV

 

[meristem]

photosynthesis is cool as shit!!!

 

[david1986]

I'm always stoned

 

[ForRealz]

...when you get up to go to Kitchen, and you're like "F@#k why did I come in here?"... go back to living room, go to press Play, only to realize the Reason you just went to kitchen was because you had left Remote Control in there on a Previous Kitchen Trip!!!

 

[Kcbscrogger]

When you're a doctor and your thermometer is behind your ear and your pen is missing.

 

[LegalizeNature420]

...when the infomercial is interesting.

 

[Mr. Bongwater]

when this is you

 

[puck1969]

Posted this before but, when you get let out of work early on Friday. You smoke
a bowl and go get fast food for lunch. Great tunes are playing so your jammin'
but it's cold outside so your window is up. Your moving up in line to order and your
air drumming is on point! Then you realize your 1 car from the window and never ordered
at the microphone..... fuuuucccckkkk.... Embarrassment and no food....

 

[Mr. Bongwater]

Posted this before but, when you get let out of work early on Friday. You smoke
a bowl and go get fast food for lunch. Great tunes are playing so your jammin'
but it's cold outside so your window is up. Your moving up in line to order and your
air drumming is on point! Then you realize your 1 car from the window and never ordered
at the microphone..... fuuuucccckkkk.... Embarrassment and no food....

be like yeah i need my burger and i made a mistake

 

[Olive Drab Green]

be like yeah i need my burger and i made a mistake

My excuse, verbatim. :0

 

[mean.green]

Do a gravity bong and forget to put a bucket for the draining the water; you end up looking like you pissed your pants.

 

[ttystikk]

You walk in and out of a room forgetting and then remembering why you went in there in the first place...stuck in a vicious stoney cycle

Aww fuck, at least I'm not alone!

 

[RM3]

When ya smell colors, taste music, see smells, hear bugs walkin across the floor, float to the bathroom to take a pee and your pee sparkles, when ya talk to animals and they talk back, When ya read RIU post to the tune of old Pink Floyd songs

Ya'll must be smokin that Indica weed

 

[skunkwreck]

When your wife finds you sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor with a 2 litre Coke-cola eating peanut butter out of the jar with a 14 inch butcher knife at 3:00 am .

 

[Olive Drab Green]

When you wake up in a VA hospital emergency room in Syracuse with a BAC of .35 five hours after drinking a fifth on top of benzos in under an hour and your entire body has scrapes, burns, cuts, and dried blood all over it.

..Oh, wait, no, that's hung over and totally fucked, not high.

 

[Mr. Bongwater]

when u can't function

 

[hellmutt bones]

You end up kissing your dog and petting your kids.