# Girlfriend making me choose between her or weed!



## StealthAssassin (Apr 9, 2013)

I have been dating this girl for a year. I have been smoking weed for the last 14 years, but never more than on the weekends. She noticed me smoking every weekend for the last few weeks and has now cracked it and said that its her or the weed... The thing I don't get is that I cannot see it harming me at all. I do smoke on my own, but Only on the weekends. I have 2 jobs, heaps of cash, grow my own weed, barely get through an ounce in a year, am sociable and very highly qualified (I am a doctor). I just don't see what the problem and am thinking seriously of dumping her and doing weed. It's not that I don't love her, I just feel like she is being unreasonable and if I let her stop me doing this then she will remember and allways know that she can controll me for ever... Anyone else have any advice? I don't know what to do!!!


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## dtowndabber (Apr 9, 2013)

Why do you have 2 jobs and grow weed if you're a doctor? 

Any person who gives you ultimatums is not healthy for you.


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## StealthAssassin (Apr 9, 2013)

why not? I would rather grow weed than buy off the street... It's a fun hobby. I have 2 jobs for extra money, it really doesn't matter, just saying that my life is in order.


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## ManWithTheHex (Apr 9, 2013)

Tell her all those things, even if she already knows it. 
You got a good education, good jobs and you smoke on your own time only in the weekends. You don't got connections to the illegal part of it since you grow your own. That you've been doing this in 14 years without a problem and this is who you are. If she can't accept you as you is, then she will never be pleased. If she can't accept this MINOR thing about you, how do you think it will be in the future? She will try to change YOU and YOUR behavior every time you don't fit in HER mold of a perfect boyfriend, and that's not a girl you would want to be with.


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## Doobius1 (Apr 9, 2013)

I quit letting people in my life tell me what to do. I am single now and happier than ever. If you're really a Doc, you should have no problem finding a woman who is not controlling.


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## Doobius1 (Apr 9, 2013)

My ex wife was stunning. I just got used to guys gawking at her. But what a fucking bitch! Show me a hot woman and I will show you a man who is sick of her shit.


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## Grandpapy (Apr 9, 2013)

Tired of your life? Let her run it. First your vices, then friends, I say RUN!
I'd be looking into some type pre-nuptial should it come to that.


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## ProfessorPotSnob (Apr 9, 2013)

I had a lady give me this ultimatum once , I cant even remember that bitches name now lol


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## Indagrow (Apr 9, 2013)

Tell her you will stop once she stops getting periods.. It's just a part of you she has to accept


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## Anotherlover (Apr 9, 2013)

bye bye girlfriend.


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## silasraven (Apr 9, 2013)

everyone says ditch the chick. its been a year and no like weed. leave her. making you choose to ditch a plant you barely consume. people are crazy, had i never listened to people when i was 14 about the cons of weed i would be living in a better situation.


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## Anotherlover (Apr 9, 2013)

If she wants to change you it's best to just change your relationship status.


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## BarnBuster (Apr 9, 2013)

You didn't mention her reasoning for wanting you to quit. Did she actually make valid points? You are a practicing MD?


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## silasraven (Apr 9, 2013)

i had a girl who insinuated it once, i gave it up and most of my ideals for the sake of her. and i did thing i never thought i would do.


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## hydrogreen65 (Apr 9, 2013)

It's only the beginning, find someone new.


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## Saerimmner (Apr 9, 2013)

Show her the door or spend the rest of your relationship under the thumb basically


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## bimple (Apr 9, 2013)

doesn't sound like a good match - if you let her stop you from doing something you believe in now, what will be next? Better to find someone who accepts you for who you are, or might want to partake with you. Don't settle or sell yourself short - life is way too short to waste time with people who don't understand you or get you.


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## Zaehet Strife (Apr 9, 2013)

ManWithTheHex said:


> Tell her all those things, even if she already knows it.
> You got a good education, good jobs and you smoke on your own time only in the weekends. You don't got connections to the illegal part of it since you grow your own. That you've been doing this in 14 years without a problem and this is who you are. If she can't accept you as you is, then she will never be pleased. If she can't accept this MINOR thing about you, how do you think it will be in the future? She will try to change YOU and YOUR behavior every time you don't fit in HER mold of a perfect boyfriend, and that's not a girl you would want to be with.


I agree with Hex on this one.


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## Sand4x105 (Apr 9, 2013)

She&#8217;s controlling and manipulating&#8230;
I&#8217;ll bet she&#8217;s called or texted you many times with a:
&#8220;What are you doing&#8230;?&#8221; A controller asks that way&#8230;
A Chill person asks this way:
&#8220;How&#8217;s your day going?&#8221;
I am sure there have been many signs of control from her in the past&#8230;
That you&#8217;ve chosen to ignore&#8230;
This is the first year of her control over you&#8230;
Some men, like it&#8230; Others like me would rather live alone than being treated like a fourteen year old&#8230;
Say this to her:
&#8220;I will gladly give up pot, if you give up:
The gym [no more Shawn your personal trainer], the fifi at the nail shop, Frankie at the salon, your favorite red dress, your I-phone [Gen 7], your car AC, your vibrator, Wine, Book reading, needle point, and whatever else pops into your mind &#8230;&#8221; 
When you met her, you were looking for a good women&#8230;
And when the door hits her controlling ass on the way out, you will be where you were before you met her&#8230; and you will meet another, better woman&#8230;
Good Luck&#8230;
Only you know what is worth what&#8230;


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## stone1977 (Apr 9, 2013)

Long story short I quit when ex wife wanting me to. I smoke way more then you. But it was cool then she started changeing everything. I started smoking again and she was cool but she would say ya but you smoke weed to everything well now she's the ex and we were together 11 years. Not telling what to do because I don't live your life so think long in hard about it buddy.


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## beuffer420 (Apr 9, 2013)

Yep sounds like the verdict is in. A long time ago I found out who I am and what a stand for. just as I have to except things about people, they need to except things about me. One of those things is I truly believe in the cannabis lifestyle. I won't push it on anyone as its their choice to make but to be in a relationship where both sides can't come to an agreement on something as small as cannabis I can only imagine what is to come in the future.


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## Genesisgrower (Apr 9, 2013)

A woman like that, you're gonna have to smoke.


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## tyler.durden (Apr 9, 2013)

Genesisgrower said:


> A woman like that, you're gonna have to smoke.


Smoke the woman? Now that would be ironic...


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## Genesisgrower (Apr 9, 2013)

haha, I by no means condoning that. Smoke the herb from the Earth my friend.


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## Dr Kynes (Apr 9, 2013)

StealthAssassin said:


> I have been dating this girl for a year. I have been smoking weed for the last 14 years, but never more than on the weekends. She noticed me smoking every weekend for the last few weeks and has now cracked it and said that its her or the weed... The thing I don't get is that I cannot see it harming me at all. I do smoke on my own, but Only on the weekends. I have 2 jobs, heaps of cash, grow my own weed, barely get through an ounce in a year, am sociable and very highly qualified (I am a doctor). I just don't see what the problem and am thinking seriously of dumping her and doing weed. It's not that I don't love her, I just feel like she is being unreasonable and if I let her stop me doing this then she will remember and allways know that she can controll me for ever... Anyone else have any advice? I don't know what to do!!!


shit son. shes trying to check her control levels on you. 

offer to give up weed if she gives up something equally important, like her bitchy mother, smoking cigarettes, going to clubs, or whatever she values. she wont go for it. 

shake her off and find you a better dame, or submit and let her run your life for you till she decides to take half your shit and move on to her next dude.


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## ilikecheetoes (Apr 9, 2013)

Hmm I wouldnt quit. I also get deeply attached to women so the break up would probably kill me....
Fortunately Im married. My wife is a total square. Doesnt drink, smoke or drive fast. She's never once even hinted at telling me to quit it. In fact she drives me home from the bar. I have my shit together as well and she knows weed isnt dangorous or anything like that.

Her only rule is dont go to jail because she wont bail me out.

Ive dated girls when I was a heroin addict that wanted me to stop. I didnt dump them because I knew they were right. Like when my wife tells me to go exercise because im getting bitch tits. Thats not a dumpable offence...

What are her reasons for wanting you to quit? Is it illegal where you are? Does she have some "church" stuff hanging over her head? She allergic to it? She wants to go clubbing on weekend and you are to baked to go party? Seems like this is something you should be able to work through with sound reasoning if you really love her. 

Sounds to me like you are looking for a way out though.


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## ManWithTheHex (Apr 9, 2013)

ilikecheetoes said:


> (...)Seems like this is something you should be able to work through with sound reasoning if you really love her.
> 
> Sounds to me like you are looking for a way out though.


She gave him an ultimatum: her or the weed, in case you missed that.


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## ilikecheetoes (Apr 9, 2013)

No I got that.
Whats her reason? I missed that part. The reason is important. Girls told me its me or the heroin. Because heroin will kill you, get you arrested, make you steal shit etc etc. Those are valid reasons for an ultimatum.

Maybe she has some bad information about weed or some other reason why weed is a deal breaker for her.


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## LadyZandra (Apr 9, 2013)

From both a Woman's point of view and that of a retired Counselor:
If you really are a "doctor" (of what subject?) you know that anyone that says "Give this up or I leave" is not the right person for you, and this is just the beginning of the things she will try to control and change about you.

Now: since you are well educated and well spoken, it is time you gave HER an ultimatum: "This is who I am, you've known it all along, accept me as I am or we are done.".... AND MEAN IT!!!

You would not have asked the question is you didn't want one of 2 answers: "leave her".. or "stop the Pot"... 

But that is YOUR choice than no one else can (or should) make for you!


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## Sativa Dragon (Apr 9, 2013)

My guess is she is selfish and self centered, any woman in my life has learned to accept the shitty parts of me and embrace the good parts, thats why they say in good times and bad till death do you part. Seems she doesn't get that a relationship is give and give some more, Growing weed is fun, and very rewarding hobby so the weed hasn't asked anything of you and you love it, I think you should smoke a bit more and some one more your style will come along soon, sound like you have created alot of good Karma in your life. No worries Doc..

Ditch the Bitch and celebrate with a fatty and some stoner movies..

Peace


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## Sativa Dragon (Apr 9, 2013)

Unless say this to her,

"I only smoke weed because I was to shy to ask if I could jerk off in your face", I would really like to spunk in your face but the weed fills that need. so I guess I can quit weed if I can blow my load all over your beak".

hee hee hee


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## Genesisgrower (Apr 9, 2013)

Man weed is the only thing that makes my girl family tolerable. She knows this and allows me to smoke responsibly.


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## StealthAssassin (Apr 10, 2013)

Thanks so much for all the advice everyone. Just to answer a common question, the reason she doesn't like it is because it is illegal and she thinks it will ruin my life. Where I live, if you are caught with up to 50g of pot you may get a fine or warning but it is not a criminal offence and you will not go to court. I never grow over 50g and never sell so I'm pretty much safe. I also never smoke unless I have the next day off work.

I took all your advice on board and told her that I choose to smoke weed and thats final. I explained all the reasons why it's not a big deal but it's like she is brain washed she won't listen. Anyway right when I thought we were about to break up she caved in and said that I could do what I want and she trusts me to not let it take over my life! I am stoked, now I get to keep my girl and I can keep smoking  I just hope it lasts and she doesn't go back on her word...


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## xGrimace (Apr 10, 2013)

Whoa man, tell her kick rocks with her non-ganga ass.


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## Dr Kynes (Apr 10, 2013)

StealthAssassin said:


> Thanks so much for all the advice everyone. Just to answer a common question, the reason she doesn't like it is because it is illegal and she thinks it will ruin my life. Where I live, if you are caught with up to 50g of pot you may get a fine or warning but it is not a criminal offence and you will not go to court. I never grow over 50g and never sell so I'm pretty much safe. I also never smoke unless I have the next day off work.
> 
> I took all your advice on board and told her that I choose to smoke weed and thats final. I explained all the reasons why it's not a big deal but it's like she is brain washed she won't listen. Anyway right when I thought we were about to break up she caved in and said that I could do what I want and she trusts me to not let it take over my life! I am stoked, now I get to keep my girl and I can keep smoking  I just hope it lasts and she doesn't go back on her word...


i predict several weeks or even a few months of blowjobs, meek acquiescence and general tractability, until she trots this issue out again to test her new and improved control levels. expect this issue to keep poppiing up. it's not about dope, it's about findin out how deep she has set her hook and letting you run till you tire yourself out, before she reels you in, gaffs you, has you stuffed and mounted, and hangs you on her wall. at least until she lands a bigger trophy, then youll be dumped in the goodwill donation bin.


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## xGrimace (Apr 10, 2013)

Dr Kynes said:


> i predict several weeks or even a few months of blowjobs, meek acquiescence and general tractability, until she trots this issue out again to test her new and improved control levels. expect this issue to keep poppiing up. it's not about dope, it's about findin out how deep she has set her hook and letting you run till you tire yourself out, before she reels you in, gaffs you, has you stuffed and mounted, and hangs you on her wall. at least until she lands a bigger trophy, then youll be dumped in the goodwill donation bin.


GAH! thats fkin scary right there.

Don't give in! EVAR.


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## Dr Kynes (Apr 10, 2013)

xGrimace said:


> GAH! thats fkin scary right there.
> 
> Don't give in! EVAR.


not quite, i could be all wrong, and she really just believes he's gonna get busted.

one of my brothers is deathly afraid of "marijuanas" and was actually under the impression that SMELLING the aroma of cannabis flowers when they are being trimmed would cause him to fail a drug test or give him a "contact high". 

i know. it sounds like bullshit but it is 100% factual. many laughs were had at his expense. he's still a little butthurt over the issue. but we did really give him the business. i even went so far as to menace him with a nug. bringing it close and closer to him, chanting "it's gonna get ya!!" until he called me a dick and retreated. 

and of course sometimes the only way to win is to give in. 

theres one girl for whom i would abandon mary-jane forever. but thats a different story.


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## lovemymj (Apr 10, 2013)

I have a good one.(from the other side) My GIRLFRIEND of 5 years tried that once... "stop or else.WHATEVER", (her dad's a retired prosecutor and attorney)and she's a school teacher... her mom works for the feds. Her mind was narrowed and she shunned weed.. I was FRESHLY RELEASED from prison in '08 when we first met, and she had no clue to my real feelings about MJ. Life was perfect without bud! That didn't last long. Through trial and error..and a 6 month DRUG PROGRAM, for failing 1 drug test FOR WEED.. she started to realized that maybe her views were flawed. She is VERY intelligent I must say, she stuck it out and OUR life became much much better. Now she LOVES weed and I FEEL I'm to blame..  If I didn't stand my ground and keep true to myself, I would be living MY life, HER WAY.. UNACCEPTABLE to me.. we found our even ground. She loves me for ME and I love her THAT MUCH MORE for accepting me and my FLAWS... hehe Long story short, stand your ground. If she accepts you for you..you have a winner. If not..relieve her of her gf duties... be smooth/subtle and don't think twice about it.. smoke one and keep it movin'. good day


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## lovemymj (Apr 10, 2013)

she's treating YOU like a plant.. THINK ABOUT IT..  First she tries to top you(no homo), missed. Fimmed you, and now you don't know what to do. Waters you down when you need it. Then she watches you to see how you react to this treatment. Makes adjustments to keep from shocking you.. and watches to see how you respond. Your relationship still grows, and she is deciding when to RREALLY switch shit up..(12/12) NOW you're budding,feeling like things are going smooth..all branched out and soaking up her nutes (love). Bud real nice thinking your relationship is great....BAM she chops you down. trims you up, and hangs your ass up to dry!!! (she has her own ideas in mind for you!) In the end.. YOU'RE GONNA GET SMOKED!! Throw her some nanners!! lmfao..  Maybe her feelings will change. She might accept your "fault", or she might just decide you aren't for her and keep it movin herself.. Maybe you're not her strain of choice.. (I just woke up, read this thread, and had a thought...this was it. It might be way out there, but it's what I was thinkin)


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## Usernamewastaken (Apr 10, 2013)

She would be packing her bags if it were me....

cant tell you how many women I've gone through but Mary Jane has stayed by my side my entire life....


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## Dr Kynes (Apr 10, 2013)

[video=youtube;y4JKOOGV35E]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4JKOOGV35E[/video]


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## ultraviolet pirate (Apr 10, 2013)

i was in that spot once...I think of her every now and again.


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## Kite High (Apr 10, 2013)

StealthAssassin said:


> I have been dating this girl for a year. I have been smoking weed for the last 14 years, but never more than on the weekends. She noticed me smoking every weekend for the last few weeks and has now cracked it and said that its her or the weed... The thing I don't get is that I cannot see it harming me at all. I do smoke on my own, but Only on the weekends. I have 2 jobs, heaps of cash, grow my own weed, barely get through an ounce in a year, am sociable and very highly qualified (I am a doctor). I just don't see what the problem and am thinking seriously of dumping her and doing weed. It's not that I don't love her, I just feel like she is being unreasonable and if I let her stop me doing this then she will remember and allways know that she can controll me for ever... Anyone else have any advice? I don't know what to do!!!


fuck her good and hard and tell her to take her snobby judgemental ass to the road and find some hot chick the smokes...lotsa them out there


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## Kite High (Apr 10, 2013)

StealthAssassin said:


> Thanks so much for all the advice everyone. Just to answer a common question, the reason she doesn't like it is because it is illegal and she thinks it will ruin my life. Where I live, if you are caught with up to 50g of pot you may get a fine or warning but it is not a criminal offence and you will not go to court. I never grow over 50g and never sell so I'm pretty much safe. I also never smoke unless I have the next day off work.
> 
> I took all your advice on board and told her that I choose to smoke weed and thats final. I explained all the reasons why it's not a big deal but it's like she is brain washed she won't listen. Anyway right when I thought we were about to break up she caved in and said that I could do what I want and she trusts me to not let it take over my life! I am stoked, now I get to keep my girl and I can keep smoking  I just hope it lasts and she doesn't go back on her word...


She's female ..she will flip on you again...its their nature


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## kinddiesel (Apr 10, 2013)

mabe have her try it . which she wont . tell he its like people drinking a few drinks on a weekend, if you hide it from her she will find out and leave you , idk man , im glad im not in your position tuff to give advice on this, only you can make the correct decision ,


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## StealthAssassin (Apr 12, 2013)

we agreed to do it every 6 weeks and she said she will try it with me too  it is something we can both live with, I am willing to give it a shot as I do love her. Time will tell if things work out!


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## Chartreuse Spruce (Apr 12, 2013)

She is willing to give you up for an ounce a year? Oh, wow. And you love her? Sounds like she might not love you that much. In these ages, her way of thinking is very unintelligent and uneducated. I'd say she is lacking in some character quality. It's probably a moral issue for her where she had been taught that all drugs prohibited by men's laws are bad. Do you want to marry such a square pants? probably. but you will be so bored with her. Educate her and make her watch some documentaries on Netflix and you tube. If she tries to stymie you now and you let her get away with it, it wont be the last time she tries to control you. Maybe you like being controlled? If not, you will lie and sneak so she doesn't find out. And I'll bet she is not willing to make good on her threat. I would have said call her bluff and see what she does but you have made up your mind on that 6 weeks then get a treat because you are a good boy thing. here is where my edit starts. lol...sorry I should have read the other posts. so she went from giving you up to trying it with you. lol maybe she will change her mind entirely if she watched some documentaries. Have you seen any of them on Netflix? really great food for thought to be had. and I didn't mean to sound judgemental I was just being flip.


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## BleedsGreen (Apr 12, 2013)

So now you agreed to go from every weekend with MJ to once every 6 weeks? She has got you my friend, you better get a prenup!


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