# How to keep pee warm for a drug tes(I am a female)! HELP



## spliffrollasparxx26 (Jul 1, 2013)

I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!


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## ClaytonBigsby (Jul 1, 2013)

Keep it in your coinpurse.


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## spliffrollasparxx26 (Jul 1, 2013)

A coin purse? In don't even own a purse! LMFAO I know your jokin though haha


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 1, 2013)

my wife been passing drug tests for 2 yrs doin this....get the mini listerine bottle its exactly enough for testing...not being nasty but keep in panties in crotch ..put piece of tape round lid jus as extra measure ...ur urine will be bout 96 degrees my nurse friend told me it is accceptable from 95 to 100 degrees...and the listerine mouthwash bottle will prob be lil uncomfortable but hey if u wanna pass ur test...there ya go....GOOOD LUCK


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 1, 2013)

Lol not in crotch im so sry that was wrote wrong jus meant between legs against skin so it will stay body temp ...my apologies again for mis typing that


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## slowbus (Jul 1, 2013)

get some toe warmers and a rubber band.The toe warmers have a sticky side.Stick the rubber band to the warmer and then the warmer to your underwear.Secure the bottle in the band and wrapped in the toe warmer.


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 1, 2013)

But ur body will keep it body temp with no toe warmers or hand warmers either....if u still paranoid jus remem over 100 they will refuse it too


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## slowbus (Jul 1, 2013)

iontoxicated415 said:


> But ur body will keep it body temp with no toe warmers or hand warmers either....if u still paranoid jus remem over 100 they will refuse it too



if you use a quick fix bottle it has a temp strip on it.If I get it to around 100 right before I walk in,by time I get into the bathroom its just about right to hand it over. I've done it a few times


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## Indagrow (Jul 1, 2013)

put it in you where you boyfriend puts his pee samples, and take pics to make sure it is in right.. don't post them tho, that would be rude. just tell us you have them.


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 1, 2013)

not being smartass at all but best way to keep something body temp is body heat but its to each their own but my wife whos sittin here said a toe warmer in the crotch region for half hour waitin to get urine test done...well she will stick with body heat method ..not saying warmers dnt work at all jus sayinmore than one way to skin a cat..lmao


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## Highlowazupkush (Jul 1, 2013)

I think your brother is smarter than that, but that's just half of the point.
It would be bad if your brother smoked weed and got you busted. And I think that you will be safe to use your own piss after almost a month!

Google it! type "how long after smoking weed will I pass a drug test?"

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120125182306AAaR0Y8

This guy says that the urine test will only catch you if you have smoked WEED in the past week.
the thing he says about 45 days is only about the weed that is in your system, a urine test wont be able to detect that at all and you shouldn't be scared at all unless you have smoked weed in the past 7 days.

The best thing you can do is to just use your own piss, then you will be sure that of the fact that weed cant be detected in ur pee after almost a month. (Besides, millions of people ask these questions, so you can be totally sure that this info is accurate. We know you're scared! no body wants to get busted by pigs! or whoever it is in your case.)


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 1, 2013)

Do not believe that if you hadnt smoked in a week ur good....thats str8 horseapples...its acccording to body fat content how long it takes to exit ur body the reason my wife takes her pis now was pissing after 27 days no smoking she failed one...for most 1 month if you ve smoked everyday for a while and who are we kiddin ...i smokes everyday and so does the wifey...but hey im jus sayin if i piss in a cup in a week for drug test ...it would turn green and fail the hell outta it


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## see4 (Jul 1, 2013)

Walmart sells thin short bottles, a tad larger than those mini listerine bottles, but narrow. pee in that, put it in your rectum. will be body temp warm. against your skin, it will be slightly less than body temp, like 90 or so, probably less. but in your butthole, it will be right around 98 degrees.


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## Autistic Austin (Jul 1, 2013)

In your vagina, obviously...


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## see4 (Jul 1, 2013)

Autistic Austin said:


> In your vagina, obviously...


I would much prefer to have someone else's urine in a bottle in my butt than in my vajayjay.


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## slowbus (Jul 1, 2013)

see4 said:


> Walmart sells thin short bottles, a tad larger than those mini listerine bottles, but narrow. pee in that, put it in your rectum. will be body temp warm. against your skin, it will be slightly less than body temp, like 90 or so, probably less. but in your butthole, it will be right around 98 degrees.



FUCK THAT-I'd quit my job,violate my parole whatever.Have some pride man.God damn....


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 1, 2013)

slowbus we finally agree...lmao....no storage in the rectumWTF


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## Autistic Austin (Jul 1, 2013)

see4 said:


> I would much prefer to have someone else's urine in a bottle in my butt than in my vajayjay.



Gay people can get diseases the same way.


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## Highlowazupkush (Jul 1, 2013)

iontoxicated415 said:


> Do not believe that if you hadnt smoked in a week ur good....thats str8 horseapples...its acccording to body fat content how long it takes to exit ur body the reason my wife takes her pis now was pissing after 27 days no smoking she failed one...for most 1 month if you ve smoked everyday for a while and who are we kiddin ...i smokes everyday and so does the wifey...but hey im jus sayin if i piss in a cup in a week for drug test ...it would turn green and fail the hell outta it



see, just as I said. the internet is full of accurate information  which is based on peoples experiences.


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## mysunnyboy (Jul 1, 2013)

Autistic Austin said:


> people can get diseases the same way.


fixed it for you


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## Indagrow (Jul 1, 2013)

see4 said:


> I would much prefer to have someone else's urine in a bottle in my butt than in my vajayjay.


If she even cared about this forum, or us for thar matter, she would use two. One in her ass, and one in her vagina. Think about others and end this argument once and for all.


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## mr sunshine (Jul 2, 2013)

stick it in ur vajay jay....or your but u cant use vasaline tho thats cheating.......


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## Autistic Austin (Jul 2, 2013)

mysunnyboy said:


> fixed it for you


Sorry, I see the word.anus or butt or bum, so I always associate that with gay, forgot how many straight men do like getting fingered lol.


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## Corso312 (Jul 2, 2013)

Hand warmer n rubber band. You can buy a temp strip for it too to make sure just right.


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## spliffrollasparxx26 (Jul 2, 2013)

Well I tested it by putting a toe warmer on it and then attaching it with rubber bands to my legs and it was at a solid 96 degrees. Going to wear two pairs of panties and see if I can keep it warm that way. I have all day tomorrow to take the test and would have preferred today but screw it. Need to try each method.


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## Indagrow (Jul 2, 2013)

common you have built in pockets in your body... use them.. I would if I could


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## Nutty sKunK (Jul 2, 2013)

Microwave two potatoes and put it in there.


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## spliffrollasparxx26 (Jul 2, 2013)

I know this is gross but its about that time of the month. No way I'm sticking something up my vajajay at this time. I won't put anything up my ass either. I have to drive over there and that just seems to damn uncomfortable. Right now I have it in between 2 pairs of panties. I'm going to poor it out and take the temp. If that doesn't work its going back in there with a toe warmer.


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## cannabineer (Jul 2, 2013)

A camel toe warmer! cn


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## spliffrollasparxx26 (Jul 2, 2013)

Alright guys so I just got done with my drug test. When I just put it in between 2 panties without the toe warmer the temp came out at 96 degrees. A little too low for me. I tried it in between 2 panties with a toe warmer on the bottom panty. The temp after about an hour or so came out at 98-99 degrees. Perfect. Just finished my drug test now. I will post the results when I find out. Thank you for letting me share what went on in my panties today.


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## Situation420 (Jul 2, 2013)

The best thing for you to do fill up a condom with the piss and put it in your cooch. When it is time to piss poke a hole in the condom and let it come out. It will come out as the same rate, stay at body temperature, and not feel uncomfortable. My X gf was on probation for 2 years and did this every time. She wore a ring on her finger that had sharp point on it so all she had to do was slide her underwear to the side and it look like she was adjusting anyway.

Edit: this still works with a tampon in


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## ambedexteras (Jul 2, 2013)

go with situations method honey... was gonna say best way to be 100% sure it will be body tempature... is have it in ur body.


as a male i would do a test cup filled with clean pee and walk with it right under the nuts. ive passed 10 + tests this way.
I was gonna say either a plastic bag....not very convenient. lol or a condom. i would def do a condom. put enough pee in
there to fill a cup. tie that bitch up REAL nice. and throw in there. may not be super pleasant but its liquid and a condom.
shouldnt be the end of the world either.


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## iontoxicated415 (Jul 2, 2013)

jus sayin 96 to 99 either ur fine... glad u showed results tho ...i did say it would be 96 from ur crotch only ....remem they dnt know ur tryin to beat it....did you smoke on way to drug test SILLY GRL


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## mysunnyboy (Jul 2, 2013)

Situation420 said:


> The best thing for you to do fill up a condom with the piss and put it in your cooch. When it is time to piss poke a hole in the condom and let it come out. It will come out as the same rate, stay at body temperature, and not feel uncomfortable. My X gf was on probation for 2 years and did this every time. She wore a ring on her finger that had sharp point on it so all she had to do was slide her underwear to the side and it look like she was adjusting anyway.
> 
> Edit: this still works with a tampon in


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## Impman (Jul 2, 2013)

spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!


I am a Male but I got my clean friend to piss in a condom. I double bagged the condom with another condom. I then placed the pee condom inside my underwear right by my testicles. I got to the clinic and realized I had lost my ID. I had to go to the DMV to get a replacement. (this is when the DMV still printed pictures along with a temporary) I waited 45 minutes at the DMV with a condom full of piss in my underwear. 
I finally got back to the clinic a 1hour and a half after the condom was filled. The test passed. At the clinic in the hall way I could hear the nurse or clinic worker say " Hey, the temperature is only 90 degrees. Is that OK?" , Her supervisor or other nurse said "Yeah, thats fine". And that was that. I had another mans piss snuggled next to my balls for almost 2 hours and I passed. Got a great job too that I worked at for 11 years.


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## neosapien (Jul 2, 2013)

spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> *How to keep pee warm for a drug tes(I am a female)! HELP
> 
> *


Tape it under your balls.


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## Corso312 (Jul 7, 2013)

Impman, you got lucky..lazy nurses, that shit wont fly in 99.9% of other sites. I'm pretty sure you would gave to be dead for a few hours to have a body temp of 90°


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## curious2garden (Jul 7, 2013)

Corso312 said:


> Impman, you got lucky..lazy nurses, that shit wont fly in 99.9% of other sites. I'm pretty sure you would gave to be dead for a few hours to have a body temp of 90°


Not the only reason. Another reason might be that the nurses, who frankly didn't give a shit and thought testing was baloney anyway, were simply sharing what a dip the OP was for providing an out of range sample Oh it's even possible they were educating their patient as nurses are wont to do without saying it so baldly as I just did.


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## cancer survivor (Jul 7, 2013)

drink the piss,hold it in your mouth then piss out your mouth! temp will be right!


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## Situation420 (Jul 7, 2013)

cancer survivor said:


> drink the piss,hold it in your mouth then piss out your mouth! temp will be right!


I would make fun of you but then i would feel bad because you survived cancer.

EDIT: On second thought, did you have brain cancer and the part of your brain that tells you thats weird had to be removed lol?.....i still feel wrong making fun of a person who had cancer but uhh what the hell haha


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## minnesmoker (Jul 8, 2013)

spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!


First, you're shitting, right? If it's a serious piss test, they'll probably match specimen gender with specimen. FAIL.

Condoms? Non-latex, no lubricant, spermicide, or powder, I hope. Otherwise, "Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!"

And finally, about 2.5 CM behind your pee-hole, you'll find a stash hole. You'd know this, I'm assuming, if you were legally old enough to agree to the TOS. Anyway... That hole, it goes inside your body, where you can keep things inserted there at "body temperature." Hint on this one. Use an inflatable device (like a soft douche bottle) use a tube with a positive stop (like a clamp) and it's that time of the month (so you won't have to explain the dangling "string" if it's any kind of correctional or rehabilitation or probationary educational drug test, and it's "witnessed" and to help keep that bottle of piss in place, just in case you don't do your daily 10 minutes of Kegel exercise.)

Oh yeah, and, I didn't read this thread, at all. I just assumed that none of the shit in this post had been said. Just like you didn't use the search function, and thought you were the first woman, ever, to wonder how to beat a piss test.


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## ChimpLord (Jul 8, 2013)

I agree with slowbus,temperature strips are a must or a baby thermometer.You want it to be 96-98 degrees when you hand it over although they will just check their temp strip for a reading of 90 -100.They will then check off a box on the form for correct temp and you are good to go.Don't be nervous you will do fine.


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## ChimpLord (Jul 8, 2013)

That is for a pre employment test...Anything else would not apply.


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## indoroids (Jul 9, 2013)

put the pee inside thin plastic
place the plastic around your stomach 
that will keep the pee at same heat with your body and keep it warm


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## Cindy West (Apr 18, 2015)

iontoxicated415 said:


> Do not believe that if you hadnt smoked in a week ur good....thats str8 horseapples...its acccording to body fat content how long it takes to exit ur body the reason my wife takes her pis now was pissing after 27 days no smoking she failed one...for most 1 month if you ve smoked everyday for a while and who are we kiddin ...i smokes everyday and so does the wifey...but hey im jus sayin if i piss in a cup in a week for drug test ...it would turn green and fail the hell outta it


I failed one after not smoking for SEVEN WEEKS! Lost out on a killer job. Been a year and a half now, but still pissed.


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## oldtimer54 (Apr 18, 2015)

You said you had until Wednesday practice , practice , practice......by that I mean you should be able to work out any concerns you may have about temp by then and depending on how in depth the test is they can differentiate male urine from female urine. I would probably just use my own urine and just flush my system with water until test day.....I've done that before with shorter abstinence times and passed.


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## urinecredable (Apr 19, 2015)

I have never seen a more useless thread in all my life. Not one person one here gave information that was even remotely helpful. Labs will NOT run the tests necessary to determine gender. ANY container worn outside the body will lose temp at a rate that will likelybrender them useless. Do yourself a favor and go to Grass City's how to beat a drug test forum.


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## 6ohMax (Apr 19, 2015)

Just stick that shit between your taint


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## Noyfb parry (Jun 28, 2015)

Hello everybody, i just had to create an account here to add my 2 cents. I'm a female with a lot of experience passing observed and unobserved drug tests. Everybody failed to mention using the microwave, which is why i had to create an account lol i warm it up in a coffee cup for 15 seconds, then transfer it into whatever method u choose. Personally i use condoms, securely under my boob with a Tight sport bra that will hold it firmly against my skin to keep the temp. I've never failed yet (knock on wood lol) also for some tests i use the microwave and put it inside a small plastic bottle, stick it in ur vag and it will definitely keep the correct temp. For a backup excuse (i haven't needed this yet but it's possible i could) i carry an ice pack in my hands, and i always say my back is achy, so i use it for pain. That way, *if* i were to fail for temp (i haven't yet) then i could always say it must be because of that ice pack cuz its freezing but helps my 'pain' . Just my 2c, good luck to everybody n smoke a J for me , peace out


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## Noyfb parry (Jun 28, 2015)

Ps the ice pack i carry is Large, not a little one, ya need a large one that would be convincing enough to drop your temp


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## Noyfb parry (Jun 28, 2015)

Pps if your pissing for a family doc who prescribes narcotics to you, put the condom under your LEFT boob cuz I've had a close call before where he did a general physical exam, poking around my liver n gall bladder, which is on the right side. I actually did have a condom under my right boob at that time, n scared the S* outta me so from then on i only use the Left boob, again, just my 2c different methods work for different people, just sharing what had worked for me, n I've passed multiple tests.


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## Noyfb parry (Jun 28, 2015)

Ppps they've never mentioned the test containing lube (from the condom) but if they do, my excuse will be that i had sex last night, which is funny as hell cuz im a lez, but any excuse will do, as long as they pass me who gives a phuck right lol


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## ChingOwn (Jun 28, 2015)

DId they tell you to put it in your vagina yet? cause that is what you should do in most cases that involve hiding drugs or drug related things


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## Noyfb parry (Jun 28, 2015)

Duh yes people said that multiple times, including one person who said use anal but women r fortunate enough we can just use vag and that's good enuff


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## Cindy West (Sep 10, 2015)

Highlowazupkush said:


> I think your brother is smarter than that, but that's just half of the point.
> It would be bad if your brother smoked weed and got you busted. And I think that you will be safe to use your own piss after almost a month!
> 
> Google it! type "how long after smoking weed will I pass a drug test?"
> ...


I stopped smoking for 2 months & still failed a urine test. I'll never use my own urine again.


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## Corso312 (Sep 10, 2015)

That's impossible.....unless you weigh a metric ton.


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## Cindy West (Sep 10, 2015)

Corso312 said:


> That's impossible.....unless you weigh a metric ton.


Was that meant for me? I'm new on this site.


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## mr sunshine (Sep 10, 2015)

see4 said:


> I would much prefer to have someone else's urine in a bottle in my butt than in my vajayjay.


Lol.. fuck, I'm laughing so hard right now. + rep!!! .


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## Singlemalt (Sep 10, 2015)

Noyfb parry said:


> Duh yes people said that multiple times, including one person who said use anal but women r fortunate enough we can just use vag and that's good enuff


Have you ever hidden a gun in your vag?


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## Downtowntillman (Sep 10, 2015)

spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!



Don't use a hand warmer. Way too hot. Get as close to your skin. Let your own body heat regulate it. I took urine test for over 7.yrs used to sell a kit I made. Little bladder you could attach and a hose with a clamp. Hell I even sold urine that had certain drugs in them. You need methadone in your system. Got ya, need oxycodone in it? No problem. I have made money in many many ways. Ok I open the door for some good comments. No I never gave head.


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## Singlemalt (Sep 10, 2015)

Downtowntillman said:


> Don't use a hand warmer. Way too hot. Get as close to your skin. Let your own body heat regulate it. I took urine test for over 7.yrs used to sell a kit I made. Little bladder you could attach and a hose with a clamp. *Hell I even sold urine that had certain drugs in them. You need methadone in your system. Got ya, need oxycodone in it? No problem. *I have made money in many many ways. Ok I open the door for some good comments. No I never gave head.


Very enterprising +rep


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## justugh (Sep 10, 2015)

several ways to pass

no time ....2 day method .....it is a bad but it will get u to piss for a 2nd time later
day before u need to drink a gallon of cranberry juice and gallon of water.......this flushes your system out .....now the next day u need a few hours to drink 8 oz of water every 15 mins for 4-6 hours .....u will be pissing like race horse every 30 mins ......doing this u over hydrated your system (the water is not taken the normal path out it is on the express line bypassing parts) so when they get the sample they will request u to come back in and give a 2nd sample

this works it saved my ass more then once ........but it is a bad thing to do it is only as a last ditch effort to get more time

your next choice is the test itself......ask if it is looking for THC9 or Cannabinoids.........odds are they are looking for the cannabinoids as it is cheaper test ( u tell them u use herbal CBDs from cibdex for the last few months your system is drenched in legal ones) so they are going to get a positive on it ( to confirm it is THC they look for THC9 in piss a lab actually has to do this not a dip strip) .........this can get u off as most times they do not want to spend the money for the real test ......but it buys u time

the best way for u is this
http://www.thewhizzinator.com/lifestyle-products/whizz-kit

u will pass with this ..........buddy worked DOD jobs so random test are on the spot (they touch u and tell u to report to place for a test) so he would keep this in his truck .....used them for 2 years no trouble


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## Downtowntillman (Sep 10, 2015)

Thanks. I'm also selling genuine uncirculated portraits of Abraham Lincoln. 5 bucks each. Free shipping.


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## Downtowntillman (Sep 10, 2015)

Try midol. I was on methadone for almost a decade and my doctor hated benzodiazepines but kinda was ok with pot. But preferred a clean test. Anyway, is for yes menstrual cramps but it's also for bloating. Drink 3 to 4 glasses of water and you will flush your system very fast. It's all about cleansing. Next day, repeat. I would smoke 3 weeks straight and the last week I would do this. He started doing visuals. I mean VISUALS... it was really awkward. trust me. It works


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## PreciousCountryGirl31 (Mar 6, 2016)

hi..I am wondering how to keep urine warm and the best place to keep it and sneak in for my drug test! I'm doing classes and the randomly drug test you and I was going to have a friend pee for me but I need to know the most effective way to keep the urine warm and what to keep it in...and as about where to hide this urine. I would seriously be greatful if anyone has any ideas or advice on how to go about this for me I would appreciate it! I'm thinking my test is tomorrow so please please help!!!!


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## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> hi..I am wondering how to keep urine warm and the best place to keep it and sneak in for my drug test! I'm doing classes and the randomly drug test you and I was going to have a friend pee for me but I need to know the most effective way to keep the urine warm and what to keep it in...and as about where to hide this urine. I would seriously be greatful if anyone has any ideas or advice on how to go about this for me I would appreciate it! I'm thinking my test is tomorrow so please please help!!!!


Hello!! Welcome to RIU.. Heating pads from any store.. Just tape a heating pad around your thigh.

Unlike probation, jobs dont watch you pee.. So it's super simple to pass.. Just keep the "pee" above 100F and you'll be good..


I gave you, your first like... remember me.. Stick around.. You found a great forum..


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## PreciousCountryGirl31 (Mar 6, 2016)

thank you for replying back...okay so what would I put the pee in? then let's say once I got the pee I just put it on my inner thigh and get like a thermal care heat wrap and wrap it over the pee and my thigh?? is that correct?


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## PreciousCountryGirl31 (Mar 6, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> Hello!! Welcome to RIU.. Heating pads from any store.. Just tape a heating pad around your thigh.
> 
> Unlike probation, jobs dont watch you pee.. So it's super simple to pass.. Just keep the "pee" above 100F and you'll be good..
> 
> ...


Aww thank you! I will def remember you! I appreciate the advice...I'm very nervous and my classes are for behavioral health and I have searched on how to pass a urine test but I guess I'm so nervous I'm not exactly sure what is the best option BC I need to pass


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## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> thank you for replying back...okay so what would I put the pee in? then let's say once I got the pee I just put it on my inner thigh and get like a thermal care heat wrap and wrap it over the pee and my thigh?? is that correct?


They have those dildos that ya fill with warm or cold liquids; use one of those and ya have the added plus of whatever gals get from a dildo in them half the day


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## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> Aww thank you! I will def remember you! I appreciate the advice...I'm very nervous and my classes are for behavioral health and I have searched on how to pass a urine test but I guess I'm so nervous I'm not exactly sure what is the best option BC I need to pass


So do you have clean urine?

It's so simple.. You can literally put it in anything. What ever forms to your body that would be easy concealable will work fine.. 

No reason to worry.. Just use clean urine and you'll be good..


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## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> So do you have clean urine?
> 
> It's so simple.. You can literally put it in anything. What ever forms to your body that would be easy concealable will work fine..
> 
> No reason to worry.. Just use clean urine and you'll be good..


OP, O'Dank will taste it for you to make sure


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## PreciousCountryGirl31 (Mar 6, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> So do you have clean urine?
> 
> It's so simple.. You can literally put it in anything. What ever forms to your body that would be easy concealable will work fine..
> 
> No reason to worry.. Just use clean urine and you'll be good..


okay so tell me if u think this will work....I'm going to get a small bottle and get a therma-care heat wrap and wrap it in my inner thigh! you think that will work?


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## bu$hleaguer (Mar 6, 2016)

Just bring a bag of piss in your pocket. Keep it simple-no heating pads or whatnot. When you go to take your test, empty that shit into your mouth. 30 seconds of swishing and spit into the cup. Your mouth warms it up to perfect body temp.


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## PreciousCountryGirl31 (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> okay so tell me if u think this will work....I'm going to get a small bottle and get a therma-care heat wrap and wrap it in my inner thigh! you think that will work?


I'm using a friends urine that's clean


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## PreciousCountryGirl31 (Mar 6, 2016)

bu$hleaguer said:


> Just bring a bag of piss in your pocket. Keep it simple-no heating pads or whatnot. When you go to take your test, empty that shit into your mouth. 30 seconds of swishing and spit into the cup. Your mouth warms it up to perfect body temp.


OMG! you can't be serious??? I don't know how I feel about putting someone else's piss in my mouth and swishing it


----------



## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> I'm using a friends urine that's clean


Don't worry. Just keep cool when you in and remember no one is going to watch you..


----------



## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> OMG! you can't be serious??? I don't know how I feel about putting someone else's piss in my mouth and swishing it


Welcome to RIU...


----------



## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> OMG! you can't be serious??? I don't know how I feel about putting someone else's piss in my mouth and swishing it


I have drank my own piss.. It tasted like mushroom soup... I don't suggest it tho..


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

How loose is the vag you got?



PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> OMG! you can't be serious??? I don't know how I feel about putting someone else's piss in my mouth and swishing it


----------



## kmog33 (Mar 6, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> I have drank my own piss.. It tasted like mushroom soup... I don't suggest it tho..


[emoji43]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> OMG! you can't be serious??? I don't know how I feel about putting someone else's piss in my mouth and swishing it


Do you swallow? If you'd give tongue to your friend, the piss is fine


----------



## neosapien (Mar 6, 2016)

Don't listen to these jokers, they're just trying to have a laugh. The best thing to do in your situation is put the urine in a turkey baster then shove it up your snatch. It'll stay perfect temperature and be easily dispensable.


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

neosapien said:


> Don't listen to these jokers, they're just trying to have a laugh. The best thing to do in your situation is put the urine in a turkey baster then shove it up your snatch. It'll stay perfect temperature and be easily dispensable.


He said "snatch" hehehe


----------



## brimck325 (Mar 6, 2016)

the vagina doesn't keep a constant temperature like the rectum. just sayin...


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## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

LOL. just fill all your holes with clean piss, one of them got to be warm enough.


----------



## Dear ol" Thankful Grower! (Mar 6, 2016)

spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> I have a piss test on Wednesday and while I haven't smoked for 3.5 weeks I am a bit worried since I used it regularly and have decided to use my younger, 11 year old brothers piss. I told him I'm afraid of peeing in cups and he believed me LOL. Anyway I was wondering if they will be able to tell that I used a younger boy's piss. Also I have condoms to keep it in. How should I keep it warm? Should I just put it in my underwear? Or should I put in my underwear WITH a hand warmer? I just want to make sure I have it at the right temp!


under your boobs would be a great spot because drug test places usually dont check bras and its a warm enough spot ifni was a woman would be my go to


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## srh88 (Mar 6, 2016)

neosapien said:


> Don't listen to these jokers, they're just trying to have a laugh. The best thing to do in your situation is put the urine in a turkey baster then shove it up your snatch. It'll stay perfect temperature and be easily dispensable.


this is the best idea.. just do a kegal and crush it out of the baster


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## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

Thanks guys.. That is why the only girls around here have dicks.. 


We run em all off


----------



## srh88 (Mar 6, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> Thanks guys.. That is why the only girls around here have dicks..
> 
> 
> We run em all off


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> Thanks guys.. That is why the only girls around here have dicks..
> 
> 
> We run em all off


Only the weak, the strong survive


----------



## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

20 mins ago.. See guys it's easy to keep the ladies coming back..




@Amy Cola


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## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

Fuck I spilled my bubbler on my bed. God damn you guys making me laugh!


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

srh88 said:


>



I'm so hungry I'd eat that....


In one bite.


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> Fuck I spilled my bubbler on my bed. God damn you guys making me laugh!


So somehow it's our fault? Fuckin' millenials


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

Singlemalt said:


> So somehow it's our fault? Fuckin' millenials


Well you guys set it up for us... Lol


----------



## srh88 (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> I'm so hungry I'd eat that....
> 
> 
> In one bite.


without chewing?


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

srh88 said:


> without chewing?


Maybe a little gnawing.


----------



## srh88 (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> Maybe a little gnawing.


would you let her do some some gnawing?


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

Trick question. If say no I'm a flaming homo. Yes, and I would kiss her after...


----------



## srh88 (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> Trick question. If say no I'm a flaming homo. Yes, and I would kiss her after...


id aim for the dot when i finish


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

I've came like once from a blowjob. For some reason I can't.


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> I've came like once from a blowjob. For some reason I can't.


You are a "with holder", chicks hate that


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 6, 2016)

^^^Unless you can do it with panache


----------



## Tangerine_ (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> I've came like once from a blowjob. For some reason I can't.


Blowjobs....she's doing it wrong


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

Tangerine_ said:


> Blowjobs....she's doing it wrong


No bro she's good. Even all the chicks before that. I just end up going limp.


----------



## Gary Goodson (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> No bro she's good. Even all the chicks before that. I just end up going limp.


its cuz ur ghey


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## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

Damnit. What are you doing later tonight? Ever sucked dick? Lets experiment.



Gary Goodson said:


> its cuz ur ghey


----------



## Gary Goodson (Mar 6, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> Damnit. What are you doing later tonight? Ever sucked dick? Lets experiment.


Ive put my peen in lots of mouths, but Ive never had peen in mine... I also never had problems busting fat nuts in chicks mouths so... I think I'll pass this time, but maybe next time???


----------



## Eltomcat (Mar 6, 2016)

Gary Goodson said:


> Ive put my peen in lots of mouths, but Ive never had peen in mine... I also never had problems busting fat nuts in chicks mouths so... I think I'll pass this time, but maybe next time???


I don't kiss and tell.. If that's what you're worried about.. Next time then.


----------



## ODanksta (Mar 6, 2016)

Everyone should try their own piss atleast once..


----------



## tyler.durden (Mar 7, 2016)

ODanksta said:


> Everyone should try their own piss atleast once..


Totally natural...


----------



## Iamabonia (Mar 10, 2016)

Well this has been thoroughly entertaining and informative! In fact I had to set up an account just so I could thank you guys lol! So thank you for the information and the entertainment!


----------



## srh88 (Mar 10, 2016)




----------



## kmog33 (Mar 10, 2016)

srh88 said:


>


Whatever happened to your gif thread?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## srh88 (Mar 10, 2016)

kmog33 said:


> Whatever happened to your gif thread?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


i had one? lol


----------



## kmog33 (Mar 10, 2016)

srh88 said:


> i had one? lol


I swear you had started a thread a while back of funny gifs. May have been someone else's thread but I remember your posts the most from it lol. Was a funny thread. Maybe 3 years ago...


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## srh88 (Mar 10, 2016)

kmog33 said:


> I swear you had started a thread a while back of funny gifs. May have been someone else's thread but I remember your posts the most from it lol. Was a funny thread. Maybe 3 years ago...
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


i found this.. and i got to say, ive been out gif'd 
http://rollitup.org/t/can-you-out-gif-srh88.834207/


----------



## kmog33 (Mar 10, 2016)

srh88 said:


> i found this.. and i got to say, ive been out gif'd
> http://rollitup.org/t/can-you-out-gif-srh88.834207/


That's the one! I knew it existed. 


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


----------



## NunyaCoolz (Mar 30, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> LOL. just fill all your holes with clean piss, one of them got to be warm enough.


I am new to this forum and OMG am I luvin the comments.....helpful but freakin hilarious


----------



## 6ohMax (Mar 31, 2016)

Better be careful around here


----------



## ZaraBeth420 (Mar 31, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> I've came like once from a blowjob. For some reason I can't.


Your woman hasn't been doing it right. Buy her a how-to book.


----------



## NunyaCoolz (Mar 31, 2016)




----------



## srh88 (Mar 31, 2016)

ZaraBeth420 said:


> Your woman hasn't been doing it right. Buy her a how-to book.


tbone jack will do it right if youre into that kind of thing


----------



## RainbowBrite86 (Mar 31, 2016)

PreciousCountryGirl31 said:


> OMG! you can't be serious??? I don't know how I feel about putting someone else's piss in my mouth and swishing it


D'awwww. I remember being this new.

Cute.


----------



## RainbowBrite86 (Mar 31, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> No bro she's good. Even all the chicks before that. I just end up going limp.


No, seriously, though. They're doing it wrong. Or you are gay. Those are just the only 2 possibilities.


----------



## Eltomcat (Apr 1, 2016)

RainbowBrite86 said:


> No, seriously, though. They're doing it wrong. Or you are gay. Those are just the only 2 possibilities.


Maybe I am gay. Jk don't know I've even tried masturbating and doing a cum shot no luck. 

Tbone please blow me!! I did have a gay dude offer a blow job, he said he knew all the right spots. I kindly declined. Fml


----------



## Unclebaldrick (Apr 1, 2016)

RainbowBrite86 said:


> No, seriously, though. They're doing it wrong. Or you are gay. Those are just the only 2 possibilities.


I am going with both. They are doing it wrong because he is gay. I would be pissed off too if I were a girl and my boyfriend were gay. Who knows where it has been?


----------



## Eltomcat (Apr 1, 2016)

Unclebaldrick said:


> I am going with both. They are doing it wrong because he is gay. I would be pissed off too if I were a girl and my boyfriend were gay. Who knows where it has been?


How good are you with yer mouff?


----------



## RainbowBrite86 (Apr 1, 2016)

Unclebaldrick said:


> I am going with both. They are doing it wrong because he is gay. I would be pissed off too if I were a girl and my boyfriend were gay. Who knows where it has been?


That happened to a friend of mine. I met her fiance, and I was like sweet pea...he's gay...and she was all "No he's not! Ok, one time, he had this really horrible gf, and so he let a guy suck his dick. But that was just because he was tired of hearing her." No. He was tired of fucking her. Because she was a female. Straight guys don't just go get their dicks sucked by men because they're angry. They would go get it sucked by a woman lol.


----------



## srh88 (Apr 1, 2016)

RainbowBrite86 said:


> That happened to a friend of mine. I met her fiance, and I was like sweet pea...he's gay...and she was all "No he's not! Ok, one time, he had this really horrible gf, and so he let a guy suck his dick. But that was just because he was tired of hearing her." No. He was tired of fucking her. Because she was a female. Straight guys don't just go get their dicks sucked by men because they're angry. They would go get it sucked by a woman lol.


I'm angry.. Want to come over?


----------



## Unclebaldrick (Apr 1, 2016)

Eltomcat said:


> How good are you with yer mouff?


Pretty fucking good if you happen to have a vagina.


----------



## ZaraBeth420 (Apr 1, 2016)

srh88 said:


> tbone jack will do it right if youre into that kind of thing


Rest assured, Jack does it _just_ right.


----------



## srh88 (Apr 1, 2016)

ZaraBeth420 said:


> Rest assured, Jack does it _just_ right.


jack has no gag reflex


----------



## TG123456 (Dec 27, 2017)

Hello i'm a female with really big boobs. My best friend is going to pee for me and I was going to drive straight to the testing center (15 minutes away). In the meantime i was going to store it in my boobs with a sweater and my "the north face" (very thick coat). Do you guys think that's enough to keep the temperature. I keep seeing things about hand warmers and microwaves but i'm getting the pee right out of her body and going straight to the testing center.


----------



## dstroy (Dec 27, 2017)

TG123456 said:


> Hello i'm a female with really big boobs. My best friend is going to pee for me and I was going to drive straight to the testing center (15 minutes away). In the meantime i was going to store it in my boobs with a sweater and my "the north face" (very thick coat). Do you guys think that's enough to keep the temperature. I keep seeing things about hand warmers and microwaves but i'm getting the pee right out of her body and going straight to the testing center.


put it in a catheter bag

or hold it in your mouth


----------



## Indacouch (Dec 27, 2017)

TG123456 said:


> Hello i'm a female with really big boobs. My best friend is going to pee for me and I was going to drive straight to the testing center (15 minutes away). In the meantime i was going to store it in my boobs with a sweater and my "the north face" (very thick coat). Do you guys think that's enough to keep the temperature. I keep seeing things about hand warmers and microwaves but i'm getting the pee right out of her body and going straight to the testing center.


If you have to wait in the testing facility it may cool down to much. I used to stick my bottle in a thermos filled with the hottest my tap water would get .....then 5 minutes before getting to the test, I'd tuck the small bottle under my nuts .....under your breast should be good if their big enough to cover sample bottle on both sides .....I never had an issue .....But hopefully they don't watch you give your sample .....GL


You're good for around 45 minutes of good testing temps using that method I mentioned above ......GL


----------



## Jimmyjonestoo (Dec 27, 2017)

Keep it tucked in your cheek like a chipmunk and spit it in the cup. Its the only way.


----------



## mr sunshine (Dec 27, 2017)

RainbowBrite86 said:


> D'awwww. I remember being this new.
> 
> Cute.


Aren't you the girl with the long toes? Post them!


----------



## tyler.durden (Dec 27, 2017)

Poop in the cup. Always...


----------



## The Outdoorsman (Dec 27, 2017)




----------



## Indagrow (Dec 27, 2017)

mr sunshine said:


> Aren't you the girl with the long toes? Post them!


I'm beginning to see a trend here


----------



## Singlemalt (Dec 27, 2017)

mr sunshine said:


> Aren't you the girl with the long toes? Post them!


Prehensile toes, for the win!!!


----------



## Cindy813 (Mar 5, 2019)

I'm a girl and I need some advice on a drug test I have tomorrow for a job interview and I know I wouldn't be able to pass it so I'm going to have to have a friend pee for me. But I would have to get it to day because she wouldn't be able tomorrow. How do I get it back to the right temp and what would be the best thang to care it in that will not be uncomfortable and easy to use .looking for help full subjections please not any crazy stuff like if see posted allready


----------



## curious2garden (Mar 5, 2019)

Cindy813 said:


> I'm a girl and I need some advice on a drug test I have tomorrow for a job interview and I know I wouldn't be able to pass it so I'm going to have to have a friend pee for me. But I would have to get it to day because she wouldn't be able tomorrow. How do I get it back to the right temp and what would be the best thang to care it in that will not be uncomfortable and easy to use .looking for help full subjections please not any crazy stuff like if see posted allready


For accurate advice we need pictures of your boobs.


----------



## Singlemalt (Mar 5, 2019)

curious2garden said:


> For accurate advice we need pictures of your boobs.


And her god damned toes!


----------



## cannabineer (Mar 5, 2019)

curious2garden said:


> For accurate advice we need pictures of your boobs.


 To our new member, I cannot stress how important this photo is for your receiving sound advice from us. If the boob pic is unappealing, please contact Doctor @neosapien. He provides a number of alternative nudo-gnostic services. The job you save ... may be your own. Please include a scale object (not a fish) in photo.


----------



## cannabineer (Mar 5, 2019)

Singlemalt said:


> And her god damned toes!


She could have toliosis, and that makes a dif.
So we need a scale object for that too.

@Newgirl, If you get the toes, boobs (or alternate nudo-gnostic substrate) and scale object in the same photo, we can virtually guarantee your passing your test, making yet another satisfied Nudo-gnosis™ Client!.


----------



## neosapien (Mar 5, 2019)

Cindy813 said:


> I'm a girl and I need some advice on a drug test I have tomorrow for a job interview and I know I wouldn't be able to pass it so I'm going to have to have a friend pee for me. But I would have to get it to day because she wouldn't be able tomorrow. How do I get it back to the right temp and what would be the best thang to care it in that will not be uncomfortable and easy to use .looking for help full subjections please not any crazy stuff like if see posted allready



1. Get a turkey baster
2. Stick it in your hoo-hah
3. Take a picture and Pm me it
4. Put the urine in a Ziploc
5. Tape it to your hoo-hah
6. Take a picture and Pm me it 
7. You know the rest

Plan B is just suck the tester's dick.


----------



## BudmanTX (Mar 5, 2019)




----------



## tyler.durden (Mar 5, 2019)




----------



## curious2garden (Mar 6, 2019)

tyler.durden said:


> View attachment 4294912


Two years and 9 entire posts, yup definitely not a sock.


----------



## BudmanTX (Mar 8, 2019)




----------



## tyler.durden (Mar 8, 2019)

Oh. He wasn't giving us the finger. He assumed we are fellow homosexuals and was offering his micro-peen. That's sweet. A bit forward, butt sweet...


----------



## BudmanTX (Mar 8, 2019)

i always knew he was compinsating for something...


----------



## BudmanTX (Mar 8, 2019)

poodle dick is still here......got something special for ya....does your goat know your here? must be missing you by now


----------



## tyler.durden (Mar 8, 2019)

You seem mad, bro. Is it because we made fun of your stupid advice? Perhaps because your mom taught you how to use her vag to pass drug tests? Did an imam molest you as a child and teach you to hate/lust homosexuals? None of that was your fault, bro. Let it go...


----------



## BudmanTX (Mar 8, 2019)

found a picture of your girlfriend by the way

 

you got a hot one there....look at those fish nets....


----------



## jacquiemendez (Aug 20, 2019)

Pre employment drug tests suck, especially if you can’t use your own pee and the paranoia of passing with either someone else’s pee or fake pee. I smoked about a week and a half prior to my test date, bought a bunch of those dollar store marijuana tests. I FAILED. I’m using my oldest son’s pee, I put it in a pill container & placed it in my panties NOT IN MY VAGINA. That would just be too uncomfortable. Keeping my legs crossed while I wait. Hopefully this will keep it warm enough to pass! 

I’m having my test done at Concentra, I read on some other forums they pat you down and ask you to place your belongings in a locker. Not sure if it’s true, will update my post after my test!


----------



## Singlemalt (Aug 20, 2019)

jacquiemendez said:


> Pre employment drug tests suck, especially if you can’t use your own pee and the paranoia of passing with either someone else’s pee or fake pee. I smoked about a week and a half prior to my test date, bought a bunch of those dollar store marijuana tests. I FAILED. I’m using my oldest son’s pee, I put it in a pill container & placed it in my panties NOT IN MY VAGINA. That would just be too uncomfortable. Keeping my legs crossed while I wait. Hopefully this will keep it warm enough to pass!
> 
> I’m having my test done at Concentra, I read on some other forums they pat you down and ask you to place your belongings in a locker. Not sure if it’s true, will update my post after my test!


The testing personnel will think you are transsexual; not that there is anything wrong with that. But if it doesn't jive with your paperwork your company may have issues


----------



## shrxhky420 (Aug 20, 2019)

Shit in da cup...

Yes, I'm back to giving this advice. I know it'll work one day 

SH420


----------



## curious2garden (Aug 20, 2019)

shrxhky420 said:


> Shit in da cup...
> 
> Yes, I'm back to giving this advice. I know it'll work one day
> 
> SH420


It's good advice, at least you can't fail that way.


----------



## neosapien (Aug 20, 2019)

jacquiemendez said:


> Pre employment drug tests suck, especially if you can’t use your own pee and the paranoia of passing with either someone else’s pee or fake pee. I smoked about a week and a half prior to my test date, bought a bunch of those dollar store marijuana tests. I FAILED. I’m using my oldest son’s pee, I put it in a pill container & placed it in my panties NOT IN MY VAGINA. That would just be too uncomfortable. Keeping my legs crossed while I wait. Hopefully this will keep it warm enough to pass!
> 
> I’m having my test done at Concentra, I read on some other forums they pat you down and ask you to place your belongings in a locker. Not sure if it’s true, will update my post after my test!


Yeah let us know how it goes! Post some pics of your pill bottle pee setup. And post some pics of your vagina too!


----------



## curious2garden (Aug 20, 2019)

LOL


----------



## Metasynth (Aug 20, 2019)

One post? And you joined RIU just to tell us about your sons pee nestled up against your vagina?

Maybe you should just keep it in your sock


Eh? Eh!!?




Y’all see what I did there?


----------



## TwistItUp (Aug 20, 2019)

I don't think you understand how a drug test is supposed to work. You have to pee in the cup. You don't need to bring a supply from home silly. Just pee in the cup.


----------



## TwistItUp (Aug 20, 2019)

I once failed a drug test for having clean piss.
My piss was clean which proved I had no pain meds in my system.
So the doctor accused me of selling my pain meds.
The truth was that i just used them all up because I was in extra pain.


----------



## Mariosehr (Aug 20, 2019)

I smoked regularly and tested, I would stop two weeks before and take “palo azul” mix with gal water drink 2 gal in course of 2 days and pass, you pee clear eventually and cleans thc in system it’s organinc, kinda like what athletes use to cheat...well used for centuries. Good luck. yeah sounds crazy but it works


----------



## TwistItUp (Aug 20, 2019)

I guess if you incest on using your sons piss, then maybe he should be taking your meds.


----------



## Gary Goodson (Aug 23, 2019)

*Got called in for a drug test at work...*
They said I tested positive for opioids. 

I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."

They said "What about the THC, cocaine, and LSD?"

"It was an everything bagel."


----------



## TwistItUp (Aug 23, 2019)

Gary Goodson said:


> *Got called in for a drug test at work...*
> They said I tested positive for opioids.
> 
> I said "Oh yeah. There were poppy seeds on my bagel this morning."
> ...


I hear that LSD doesn't show up on a drug test. Only if they take spinal fluid.


----------



## Gary Goodson (Aug 23, 2019)

TwistItUp said:


> I hear that LSD doesn't show up on a drug test. Only if they take spinal fluid.


You mom takes spinal fluid to the FACE!


----------



## Singlemalt (Aug 23, 2019)

Gary Goodson said:


> You mom takes spinal fluid to the FACE!


LMAO. Fuckin Gary


----------



## tyler.durden (Aug 23, 2019)




----------



## shrxhky420 (Aug 23, 2019)

SH420


----------



## Don_Sequitor (Aug 23, 2019)

tyler.durden said:


> View attachment 4383914


----------



## Larkyn (Jan 19, 2020)

I created an account on here just so I could spread the wealth of knowledge that I have obtained through passing my own drug tests using someone else’s pee... 
without further ado
At Spencer’s there are tampon flasks, get them, they’re like 7 dollars and you get 5 of them. Screw the fake tampon wrapper, throw that away. 
have someone pee for you (in my case it’s my sister), I always have her pee the day off just an hour or two before my drug test. I have her pee in a cup and then I fill the tampon tubes leaving about half an inch of space at the top.Cap them up, place them inside a zip loc bag horizontally so that the caps have pressure on them and will stay sealed. (I’ve tried tape around the top and it doesn’t work as good as the baG) I then put them right up against my vagina and I wear one pair of underwear with a pad and then one pair of underwear with a hand warmer and then one tighter (spandex type) underwear to keep it all packaged nicely, it feels safer that way. 
The tubes are long (maybe 6”) but if you put them in right, preferably closer to the front so you can sit down, you should be okay. 3 tubes filled half an inch away from the top equals just below 60 ml so I always take the extra two Because it’s better to be safe than sorry. When you get into the unsupervised bathroom just pull down your pants and grab the tubes then quietly rip through the bag and pull the caps off. They aren’t loud. Pour them in and voila.
Some things worth noting. Practice!!! Practice, practice, practice!!! Do this in the week prior to your test and then on the night before your test. I test with and without the heat pad to see how long it takes to reach optimal temp, how long it holds temp, etc. I feel the hand warmer just adds some extra warmth on the other side of the tubes. Use a regular thermometer submersed in the tube. Practice being quiet, practice opening the tubes, practice pulling your pants down with the tubes in your underwear (pull them down one at a time so you don’t risk dropping the tubes). If you have boobs tuck two extra on either side that way there is no way that you don’t have enough and if one ever leaked (has not happened yet) you have back up, use hand warmers there too and wear a sports bra over the top of your regular bra). Any thing to make sure that this is fool proof. If you have a quiet spot to pull over before your test and run another temperature check I would suggest doing so. Slightly above 100 you can take the heat pad out, you just want to make sure you range 90-100 f.


----------



## curious2garden (Jan 19, 2020)

Larkyn said:


> .......snip..........* If you have boobs *tuck two extra on either side that way there is no way that you don’t have enough and if one ever leaked (has not happened yet) you have back up, use hand warmers there too and wear a sports bra over the top of your regular bra). Any thing to make sure that this is fool proof. If you have a quiet spot to pull over before your test and run another temperature check I would suggest doing so. Slightly above 100 you can take the heat pad out, you just want to make sure you range 90-100 f.


If you don't have boobs how do you explain the 'tampon flasks'?


----------



## Singlemalt (Jan 19, 2020)

Larkyn said:


> I created an account on here just so I could spread the wealth of knowledge that I have obtained through passing my own drug tests using someone else’s pee...
> without further ado
> At Spencer’s there are tampon flasks, get them, they’re like 7 dollars and you get 5 of them. Screw the fake tampon wrapper, throw that away.
> have someone pee for you (in my case it’s my sister), I always have her pee the day off just an hour or two before my drug test. I have her pee in a cup and then I fill the tampon tubes leaving about half an inch of space at the top.Cap them up, place them inside a zip loc bag horizontally so that the caps have pressure on them and will stay sealed. (I’ve tried tape around the top and it doesn’t work as good as the baG) I then put them right up against my vagina and I wear one pair of underwear with a pad and then one pair of underwear with a hand warmer and then one tighter (spandex type) underwear to keep it all packaged nicely, it feels safer that way.
> ...


We will need a series of photographic examples to demonstrate this novel procedure


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## curious2garden (Jan 19, 2020)

Singlemalt said:


> We will need a series of photographic examples to demonstrate this novel procedure


With and without boobs so I can understand the procedure


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## Singlemalt (Jan 19, 2020)

curious2garden said:


> With and without boobs so I can understand the procedure


exactly, and the proper pee technique into the bottle; hopefully grooming is done prior


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## curious2garden (Jan 19, 2020)

Singlemalt said:


> exactly, and the proper pee technique into the bottle; hopefully grooming is done prior


For clarity!


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## Singlemalt (Jan 19, 2020)

curious2garden said:


> For clarity!


well, yeah; at least 12 megapixels


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## cannabineer (Jan 19, 2020)

Singlemalt said:


> well, yeah; at least 12 megapixels


end-o-scopic


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## Singlemalt (Jan 19, 2020)

cannabineer said:


> end-o-scopic


Indeed! Location, location, location


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## Larkyn (Jan 20, 2020)

Lol well, let me just take some pics with the boobs and unzip the boobs off for the other pics


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## Larkyn (Jan 20, 2020)

curious2garden said:


> If you don't have boobs how do you explain the 'tampon flasks'?


Good question. Can’t answer that for you. I guess you have to be blessed with boobs.


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## Larkyn (Jan 20, 2020)

Singlemalt said:


> exactly, and the proper pee technique into the bottle; hopefully grooming is done prior


No grooming here. Full Bush lol


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## Metasynth (Jan 20, 2020)

Uhhh....pics or it didn’t happen


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## Larkyn (Jan 20, 2020)

You want pics of this bush?


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## markus07 (Mar 4, 2020)

There are several ways to keep pee warm. You can use products like urinator, hand warmer to keep urine warm. If you need more information you can read this post on how to keep pee warm for a drug test.


spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> A coin purse? In don't even own a purse! LMFAO I know your jokin though haha


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## raratt (Mar 5, 2020)




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## cannabineer (Mar 5, 2020)




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## Roachqueen (Dec 16, 2020)

iontoxicated415 said:


> not being smartass at all but best way to keep something body temp is body heat but its to each their own but my wife whos sittin here said a toe warmer in the crotch region for half hour waitin to get urine test done...well she will stick with body heat method ..not saying warmers dnt work at all jus sayinmore than one way to skin a cat..lmao


How long do you need to keep it in your crotch region for it to get the right temperature? I have to drive an hour to the nearest drug testing facility...


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## lokie (Dec 17, 2020)

Roachqueen said:


> How long do you need to keep it in your crotch region for it to get the right temperature? I have to drive an hour to the nearest drug testing facility...


An hour is plenty of time to get it warmed up.

Set it on top of the engine block before you leave.

By the time you arrive it will be warm.


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## Smoky~McPot (Dec 17, 2020)

My chick passes hers just fine every month by keeping it between her tits


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## tyler.durden (Dec 17, 2020)

Roachqueen said:


> How long do you need to keep it in your crotch region for it to get the right temperature? I have to drive an hour to the nearest drug testing facility...


One year. It's a commitment, but it is the only way. Best of luck...


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## tyler.durden (Dec 17, 2020)

Smoky~McPot said:


> My chick passes hers just fine every month by keeping it between her tits


You only get one post per year, I think you spent this year's post wisely. Pics if you got 'em...


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## Marmar 2299 (Mar 18, 2021)

spliffrollasparxx26 said:


> Well I tested it by putting a toe warmer on it and then attaching it with rubber bands to my legs and it was at a solid 96 degrees. Going to wear two pairs of panties and see if I can keep it warm that way. I have all day tomorrow to take the test and would have preferred today but screw it. Need to try each method.


Excuse me im new on here wtf is a toe warmer?and where do u get em at??PLZZZZZZZZZZZ i need to know before 2morrow morn..thanks


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## Singlemalt (Mar 18, 2021)

Marmar 2299 said:


> Excuse me im new on here wtf is a toe warmer?and where do u get em at??PLZZZZZZZZZZZ i need to know before 2morrow morn..thanks


Euphemism for vagina, snatch, pussy---> toe warmer


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## Tallipharoah (Mar 18, 2021)

Marmar 2299 said:


> Excuse me im new on here wtf is a toe warmer?and where do u get em at??PLZZZZZZZZZZZ i need to know before 2morrow morn..thanks


Stop smoking now. Drink 2 water bottles an hour 6 hours before your test or maybe 3 or 4 water bottles if you need results. Pee. A lot. Take b6, b12 to reyellow pee. Eat some meat. You're going to become a human water dispenser and may throw up. Unless it's for a job, just buy some p-sure and handwarmers

Edit: the dollar store sells dollar cannabis tests. Test yourself frequently


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## srh88 (Mar 18, 2021)

Marmar 2299 said:


> Excuse me im new on here wtf is a toe warmer?and where do u get em at??PLZZZZZZZZZZZ i need to know before 2morrow morn..thanks


Load up your mouth with semen and spit it in the cup then hand it back


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## manfredo (Mar 18, 2021)




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## lokie (Mar 18, 2021)




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## Marmar 2299 (Mar 18, 2021)

OMFG thats too fu


Singlemalt said:


> Euphemism for vagina, snatch, pussy---> toe warmer


OMFG thats 2funny i thought that but wasn't sure. So just put the condom in your undies and what about heating it up before u leave??im sorry but this is the 1st t im using someone else pee for my test at methadone clinic only reason im asking u all this hope u don't mind lol but thanks for getting back 2 me appreciate it


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## Fast Money (Mar 18, 2021)

^IDK way, but that’s profoundly sad to me.


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## meangreengrowinmachine (Mar 18, 2021)

manfredo said:


> View attachment 4856850


I have used these to amazing effect


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## Fast Money (Mar 18, 2021)

meangreengrowinmachine said:


> I have used these to amazing effect


That’s the best brand in my book. I stuff those fuckers in my steel toe work boots on freezing days. It’s like walking at the beach.


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## meangreengrowinmachine (Mar 18, 2021)

Fast Money said:


> That’s the best brand in my book. I stuff those fuckers in my steel toe work boots on freezing days. It’s like walking at the beach.


For this specific topic I put them in my arm pits, have a buddy piss in a travel shampoo bottle at the closest place possible to test site. Use these to keep that warm... make sure to leak proof your bottle lolz


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## srh88 (Mar 18, 2021)

Fast Money said:


> ^IDK way, but that’s profoundly sad to me.


I agree


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## Marmar 2299 (Mar 18, 2021)

srh88 said:


> Load up your mouth with semen and spit it in the cup then hand it back


Hahaha.


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## manfredo (Mar 18, 2021)

Marmar 2299 said:


> Hahaha.


I'm thinking Frank from Shameless did that with urine in his mouth to pass a test


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