# Dick Sucking Robot



## tyler.durden (Oct 24, 2014)

This is one of those rare devices who's thread would be equally at home in the S&S&P or science/tech sub-forums. I am ordering one of these before I go to bed. The worst that could happen is a blow (pun intended) $150 on something stupid. If it sucks (pun intended) I'll have a great story that will amuse for years. The best part about this product has GOT to be this video -






http://www.autoblow2.com/

Funny thing is, guess who turned me on to this ad? My 13 year old son. Life is a trip...


----------



## mackdx (Oct 25, 2014)

The shame of having to clean it up afterwards would be enough to prevent me from ordering one......


----------



## tyler.durden (Oct 25, 2014)

mackdx said:


> The shame of having to clean it up afterwards would be enough to prevent me from ordering one......


Then don't clean it. Those sleeves look like they'd hold at least 50 loads, just toss 'em when they begin to overflow...


----------



## Parsley85 (Oct 25, 2014)

tyler.durden said:


> Then don't clean it. Those sleeves look like they'd hold at least 50 loads, just toss 'em when they begin to overflow...



LOL *gag*


----------



## tyler.durden (Nov 19, 2014)

Well, gentlemen, I'm back for a product review. This Autoblow fucking SUX! Not sucks, just sux. It doesn't feel like a blowjob at all, feels more like a two finger hand job. Plus, it's fucking noisy as hell and I can't get used to plugging it into the wall. If the lights dim while I'm using this I'm likely to have a heart attack. It's got potential, but for now I'd rather use my hand. Here is some great news, though, I've found the greatest men's sex toy in existence - La Bocca Della Verita (The Mouth of Truth). 

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00J2NOBGU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

This thing feels so close to a real BJ, it is unbelievable. The Japanese have designed this thing so realistically, throat, tongue, and lips made of some sort of soft rubber. It is so anatomically correct that it even has teeth! They scrape you gently to add to the realism. Its temperature starts off a little cool but after a couple of minutes one's body heat really warms it up. It creates a nice vacuum and with enough lube, it makes awesome slurping and gurgling sounds as I fuck its throat. I'm addicted to this thing, and have used it almost every day since I bought it. I've used my hand a couple of times since the purchase, and it doesn't even compare (Uh-oh, that can't be good.) Takes a few times to learn how to clean because it's tricky, but it only takes a couple minutes under the bathroom sink faucet. Anyway, I HIGHLY recommend this product, best $30 I've ever spent. 

For variety, and since I apparently enjoy having sex with inanimate objects, I bought this, as well - 

http://www.amazon.com/Approximately-scale-large-grams-Onahole/dp/B00FFU7O7C/ref=pd_sim_hpc_11?ie=UTF8&refRID=1EG2GREYWJYANZ9Q4MHV

This thing is pretty fun. You can fuck the ass and the pussy, both feel good. This one is super easy to clean, as it has a cleaning hole at the top of the torso to run water through. This is again very anatomically correct. The thing is, this is not full scale. It is the size (but not the shape) of a seven or eight year old. It comes with these little white panties, and I read a review where this dude ordered more panties for it for variety. The strange part is that he had to order 2T sized panties in order for them to fit this thing. 2T! I'm afraid that ordering those would put me on some sort of watch list. Being the pervert that I am, I did do a quick search for 2T thongs. I am happy to report that no company makes such a thing. Thank god. Anyway, this thing is not as great as the mouth of truth, but I don't regret buying it as it's something different. That's it for now, happy fapping gents...


----------



## LetsGetCritical (Nov 19, 2014)

how would I fit my cock in this?


----------



## BustinScales510 (Nov 19, 2014)

This one looks pretty stylin. The guy on the promotional video is hilarious too, I love when hes talking about flushing out "the debris" when finished.


----------



## tyler.durden (Nov 19, 2014)

LetsGetCritical said:


> how would I fit my cock in this?


Very carefully. Seriously, the teeth gave me pause, they are not sharp but rounded. I've always liked a little teeth with my BJs. This thing opens up so wide and so easily, it's not a concern. If you really don't like them you can pull them out with a pliers, that should give you a gummy, toothless blowjob as if from someone's grandma. Those are always good...


----------



## tyler.durden (Nov 19, 2014)

BustinScales510 said:


> This one looks pretty stylin. The guy on the promotional video is hilarious too, I love when hes talking about flushing out "the debris" when finished.


Love the products names! 'Fuck Me Silly!', and 'Fuck My Big Black Ass!'. My favorite part was, 'You can even go at it with a friend'. I don't have any friends like that. "Hey, Jerome! C'mon over. We'll smoke a joint and tag team my huge, fake rubber butt..."


----------



## Ace Yonder (Nov 20, 2014)

tyler.durden said:


> Well, gentlemen, I'm back for a product review. This Autoblow fucking SUX! Not sucks, just sux. It doesn't feel like a blowjob at all, feels more like a two finger hand job. Plus, it's fucking noisy as hell and I can't get used to plugging it into the wall. If the lights dim while I'm using this I'm likely to have a heart attack. It's got potential, but for now I'd rather use my hand. Here is some great news, though, I've found the greatest men's sex toy in existence - La Bocca Della Verita (The Mouth of Truth).
> 
> http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00J2NOBGU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
> 
> This thing feels so close to a real BJ, it is unbelievable. The Japanese have designed this thing so realistically, throat, tongue, and lips made of some sort of soft rubber. It is so anatomically correct that it even has teeth! They scrape you gently to add to the realism. Its temperature starts off a little cool but after a couple of minutes one's body heat really warms it up. It creates a nice vacuum and with enough lube, it makes awesome slurping and gurgling sounds as I fuck its throat. I'm addicted to this thing, and have used it almost every day since I bought it. I've used my hand a couple of times since the purchase, and it doesn't even compare (Uh-oh, that can't be good.) Takes a few times to learn how to clean because it's tricky, but it only takes a couple minutes under the bathroom sink faucet. Anyway, I HIGHLY recommend this product, best $30 I've ever spent.


Is the blowjob good enough to make your soul forget the fact that their instructions feature league of legends and a child, and the subtle intimation of your desire to copulate with them? I'm sure it would be even creepier if I could read it


----------



## Ace Yonder (Nov 20, 2014)

tyler.durden said:


> Then don't clean it. Those sleeves look like they'd hold at least 50 loads, just toss 'em when they begin to overflow...


Psh, "Toss 'em"... What a waste. The frugal home cook knows better than to toss gold in the bin!
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416485298&sr=8-1&keywords=natural+harvest


----------



## tyler.durden (Nov 20, 2014)

Ace Yonder said:


> Is the blowjob good enough to make your soul forget the fact that their instructions feature league of legends and a child, and the subtle intimation of your desire to copulate with them? I'm sure it would be even creepier if I could read it
> View attachment 3297524


Yes...


----------



## tyler.durden (Nov 20, 2014)

Ace Yonder said:


> Psh, "Toss 'em"... What a waste. The frugal home cook knows better than to toss gold in the bin!
> http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-based-recipes/dp/1481227041/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1416485298&sr=8-1&keywords=natural harvest


Holy Shit! What possessed you to even look this up? Crazy world, bro. This is my favorite part of excerpt below, "Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants." May as well have stated EVERYWHERE ON EARTH. Sure is cheap and plentiful at my pad...

Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants. Despite all of these positive qualities, semen remains neglected as a food. This book hopes to change that. Once you overcome any initial hesitation, you will be surprised to learn how wonderful semen is in the kitchen. Semen is an exciting ingredient that can give every dish you make an interesting twist. If you are a passionate cook and are not afraid to experiment with new ingredients - you will love this cookbook!


----------

