# How to survive prison?



## 40acres (Mar 25, 2008)

I thought since we are all dealing with illegal substances, i would start a thread on how to survive what migth be any of our outcomes. I went in at 18, and it was culture shock. I thougth that maybe some of us could give advice on how they got through it. And please, no bullshit.
I will start with the best advice i ever heard, "Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear"


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## ORECAL (Mar 25, 2008)

I think this is a great thread..... never hurts to have as much info as possible. Thank you for your advise...

rep 4 u


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## 40acres (Mar 25, 2008)

thank you Orecal,I thought a few of us may end up doing some time, and should know something. I could also walk you through from suspicion from a cop, to being arrested, to actually going to jail. Here's another since no one else wants speak.

Do not ever "hold" or "Watch" or "borrow" or let anyone "give" you something. Nothing is fee and you will pay it back somehow.


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## jollygreengiant8 (Mar 25, 2008)

true true...good thread


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## jackonthebox (Mar 25, 2008)

good thread, I want more advise in case the law ever comes down on me.


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## mastakoosh (Mar 25, 2008)

if you get popped, do not say shit til you get your lawyer or a lawyer(a good one preferably). remember o.j.!!!


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## pinksensa (Mar 25, 2008)

Keep your fucking mouth shut...dont be tellin everybody your business....keep quiet listen and they will tell you everything...they all have their own agendas so if you keep quiet you can learn them before they learn you


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## email468 (Mar 25, 2008)

don't ever let a cop into your house. if the cop is legally allowed in, he won't be asking.
cops lie, lie and when you think they are done lying - they lie some more.

myth: a cop is not allowed to use drugs - well it is true but they are very good at faking it.
True: a cop is not allowed to allow drugs to get back on the street. they buy, buy, and buy - but never sell (unless it is a sting). so if you suspect someone of being a cop - have them give you a joint and walk away (be prepared to eat it).


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

Yes you are all right. Don't ever tell the government anything without a lawyer present. If you have been arrested, they have enough evidence without you telling on yourself for you to go to jail.If you have been arrested and not charged, they are fishing for anything that is enough evidence to put you in jail.The *VERY FIRST thing you need to state is your right to counsel.* It is a constitutionally gauranteed right and cannot be overlooked *unless you give them consent and waive this right.* 
Cops cannot make deals so do not think they will or can help you. It is entirely up to the prosecutor and judge.


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

*Number 3 *Walk with your head up and walk with a purpose. Predators see weakness in body language and can spot a punk from across the yard. Do not walk with a shuffle and as if you are going to burst into tears at any moment. This will get your crunch stolen and your ass dry raped faster than a 12yr old girl in kansas gets pregnant.


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## Cheese x Kush (Mar 26, 2008)

My advice is keep any bottle corks they might just save your asses Virginity


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## ORECAL (Mar 26, 2008)

all these tips are great, but I've heard alot of these already. the thread was started for when your in prison, I want to hear more survival methods for IN prison, not the JOURNEY to prison.


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## woodsyn2o (Mar 26, 2008)

email468 said:


> don't ever let a cop into your house. if the cop is legally allowed in, he won't be asking.
> cops lie, lie and when you think they are done lying - they lie some more.
> 
> myth: a cop is not allowed to use drugs - well it is true but they are very good at faking it.
> True: a cop is not allowed to allow drugs to get back on the street. they buy, buy, and buy - but never sell (unless it is a sting). so if you suspect someone of being a cop - have them give you a joint and walk away (be prepared to eat it).


yo cops can do what ever they want to bust you.
they will do drugs wit you then when you go to court they will say yes the cop did drugs but it was all part of the sting and now hes in rehab. this happen in mass. 
so becarful 

and i went to jail twice not for pot. it was no fun but its not like you see on tv.


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## ORECAL (Mar 26, 2008)

40acres said:


> *Number 3 *Walk with your head up and walk with a purpose. Predators see weakness in body language and can spot a punk from across the yard. Do not walk with a shuffle and as if you are going to burst into tears at any moment. This will get your crunch stolen and your ass dry raped faster than a 12yr old girl in kansas gets pregnant.


this is what I'm talking about, more tips like this.


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## woodsyn2o (Mar 26, 2008)

ORECAL said:


> all these tips are great, but I've heard alot of these already. the thread was started for when your in prison, I want to hear more survival methods for IN prison, not the JOURNEY to prison.


1.mind your own biss. 
2.find a group you fit in wit.
3.keep busy


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

woodsyn2o said:


> 1.mind your own biss.
> 2.find a group you fit in wit.
> 3.keep busy


We are not in prison, so lets act with a litlle hospitality for peoples thoughts please.


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## Cheese x Kush (Mar 26, 2008)

Do not bend over for the soap in the showers another vital one


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## ORECAL (Mar 26, 2008)

are thre groups of people in prison that aren't gang related? can you find a group to fit in with without having to join some stupid gang?


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## Cheese x Kush (Mar 26, 2008)

ORECAL said:


> are thre groups of people in prison that aren't gang related? can you find a group to fit in with without having to join some stupid gang?


Yea man theres a split part but i dont think you would want to go there its for pedos snitches people that would be a risk go there


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## drew420man (Mar 26, 2008)

my advice is to be smart. cops are out there and are lookin for drugs. they could put their life at risk busting a meth lab or they could have fun tricking a marijuana user who is harmless. police are the lowest form of life when they are on duty and the only thing they care about is how this bust will look back at the station. suck my balls 5-0 its a plant


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

I never joined a gang. I was only doing 25 months and did not want to do more. 
Gangs in prison have their role. They are a sort of twisted equilibrium to eachother and the cops. Most prisoners seperate themselves by color and race, with the latinos also going sereno and norteno, and the blacks with their gang from the street.
Gangs can get you things. Drugs, protection and other stuff. They also make you do things for that help. You hold guns and drugs. You hurt people. You extort. You rape. Things that besides being repugnant, will also get you more time than some weed would. So, unless you are doing real time, stay away.
I was able to walk a very narrow line inside, because I was an educated white boy that knew the rules and didnt play games. I was there to do my own time and not anyone elses. I also didnt look or talk at the other races or even the total backwoods crackers as if I was any better then them.


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## ORECAL (Mar 26, 2008)

Cheese x Kush said:


> Yea man theres a split part but i dont think you would want to go there its for pedos snitches people that would be a risk go there


 so it's either join a gang or ..... what? would you just baracade yourself in your cell or what.


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## ORECAL (Mar 26, 2008)

40acres said:


> I never joined a gang. I was only doing 25 months and did not want to do more.
> Gangs in prison have their role. They are a sort of twisted equilibrium to eachother and the cops. Most prisoners seperate themselves by color and race, with the latinos also going sereno and norteno, and the blacks with their gang from the street.
> Gangs can get you things. Drugs, protection and other stuff. They also make you do things for that help. You hold guns and drugs. You hurt people. You extort. You rape. Things that besides being repugnant, will also get you more time than some weed would. So, unless you are doing real time, stay away.
> I was able to walk a very narrow line inside, because I was an educated white boy that knew the rules and didnt play games. I was there to do my own time and not anyone elses. I also didnt look or talk at the other races or even the total backwoods crackers as if I was any better then them.


so what, you just stayed away from everyone? never made eye contact? I don't think I'll have to worry about going to jail, but it would be nice to know what types of things I can do to keep myself independent and get the fuck out of there asap.


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## fdd2blk (Mar 26, 2008)

find the biggest, baddest, meanest, motherfucker and walk right up and bite off his nose. you should be all good after that.


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## Cheese x Kush (Mar 26, 2008)

Jail is jail man, You just keep your head down and do your time ,Do not get involved in any 1s bizz , 
Its not a picnic any think but that and its a rude awaking to young men that normally dont get involved in crime just like smoking some herbs


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## ORECAL (Mar 26, 2008)

fdd2blk said:


> find the biggest, baddest, meanest, motherfucker and walk right up and bite off his nose. you should be all good after that.


that always seems to be what people suggest, but is it really the best idea? i mean, seems to me that if you walk in there and fuck up the biggest dude in the joint, there is going to be somebody connected to him, and now your fucked. am I right?


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## gotdamunchies (Mar 26, 2008)

I'm not sure if its the same for state/federal prison as for county jail, but, if you can be a trustee, get a job in the kitchen and stay well fed....preferably the ODR, officers dining room, they eat rather well, at least they did where I was at.


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## STANDOX (Mar 26, 2008)

Cheese x Kush said:


> Jail is jail man, You just keep your head down and do your time ,Do not get involved in any 1s bizz ,
> Its not a picnic any think but that and its a rude awaking to young men that normally dont get involved in crime just like smoking some herbs


i agree you can get "dry ass raped" in a gang or alone in prison do your time and try to educate yourself todays correction system is not made to correct but to punish. i belive that most of us here are normal people and would be totally out of our elemnt in prison if you can read people you can survive in any enviornment. Stay true to yourself and always try to benifit from any situation that is thrown at you...
in other words be the overwatered half dead plant that rises from all bullshit the man can throw at you


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

gotdamunchies said:


> I'm not sure if its the same for state/federal prison as for county jail, but, if you can be a trustee, get a job in the kitchen and stay well fed....preferably the ODR, officers dining room, they eat rather well, at least they did where I was at.


trustees are generally labeled as snitches. Don't talk to co's unless you are getting something from them. 
and no, you don't walk with your head down and you do make eye contact, just not overextended skull fucking eye contact.I talked to alot of people and had alot of acquaintances. Not friends. if i didnt know them from the streets, and they couldn't do something for me on the outside, what are we suppossed to do, send eachother birthday cards and shit. these people are in prison for a reason. At least a felony reason. I was in places with killers and gangbangers, and armed robbers.


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## stickyicky77 (Mar 26, 2008)

40acres said:


> Yes you are all right. Don't ever tell the government anything without a lawyer present. If you have been arrested, they have enough evidence without you telling on yourself for you to go to jail.If you have been arrested and not charged, they are fishing for anything that is enough evidence to put you in jail.The *VERY FIRST thing you need to state is your right to counsel.* It is a constitutionally gauranteed right and cannot be overlooked *unless you give them consent and waive this right.*
> Cops cannot make deals so do not think they will or can help you. It is entirely up to the prosecutor and judge.


They have to charge you with a crime or release you with in 48 hrs. There is a good chance that they will have to release you in 48 hrs if they do not have enough evidence as long as you keep your mouth shut and not incriminate yourself. The more questions you answer the more evidence you give them to build a case against you. There have been many people that they know have committed a crime such as murder and because the suspect did not talk they had to release them due to lack of evidence and the case goes cold and remains open for years. Just watch the show the First 48 if you want insight into police interrogation techniques. Just remember that anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.


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## mastakoosh (Mar 26, 2008)

the first 48, man that is my favorite show. they have no evidence and get guys to admit they shot someone in cold blood. dumb motherfuckers talk themselves right into a life bid.


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## aeroponics (Mar 26, 2008)

40 Acres What were you charged with?


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

Posession of paraphnellia with intent to grow, and 2X obstruction of justice.


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## ToastedFox (Mar 26, 2008)

40acres said:


> trustees are generally labeled as snitches. Don't talk to co's unless you are getting something from them.
> and no, you don't walk with your head down and you do make eye contact, just not overextended skull fucking eye contact.I talked to alot of people and had alot of acquaintances. Not friends. if i didnt know them from the streets, and they couldn't do something for me on the outside, what are we suppossed to do, send eachother birthday cards and shit. these people are in prison for a reason. At least a felony reason. I was in places with killers and gangbangers, and armed robbers.


Don't stare, but walk with some fuckin' pride. You don't have to be the baddest fucker in the shadow of the valley of death but if carry yourself right you'll get left alone as you are right people look for weakness.


I also kept myself busy, you have a lot of free time and you can get into some deep shit if you let your attitude and mind wonder too much. It is where I learned to box a bit, I didn't do my time in an adult prison though.


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## 40acres (Mar 26, 2008)

I think i will do two of these a day if noone has complaints.
*NUMBER 4*
* Convicts have a pretty good idea what you are in for already. So do't go in and claim to be murderer if you are only in for too many DUI's. Sounds stupid, but it happens alot.*
* On the same token, don't be Billy Badass. You aren't. There is always someone bigger and badder. Especially if you are a person able to use a computer. There are many people with nothing to do for lifetimes, so don't think one of them won't punch your card.*


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## Zoomin Loomen (Mar 26, 2008)

ORECAL said:


> so it's either join a gang or ..... what? would you just baracade yourself in your cell or what.


if you refuse to leave your cell at times when you are allowed to for rec or whatnot, people will think you are chickenshit (they'd be right) and get at you the first chance they could


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## boooky (Mar 26, 2008)

The only advice for anyone that hasnt been there......Its not what you see on TV and if you start a fight you most likley wont make it out of the showers. You do somthing wrong everyone gets punished for it so you put your self at risk for getting your ass whooped or worse killed. 

Best advice is to stay to yourself dont talk to anyone and do your time...80% of the people I met in prison where trying to do their time and go home to their familys. They could give a shit less what you do as long as you dont affect them. Gangs are the same as on the street and shouldnt be trusted they only want you to do their dirty work just ignore them. 

There is only one thing that you never do in prison and thats SNITCH you will get killed and the guards WILL tell them who snitched on them. The guards are NOT police they are people that turned in a apllication respect them they respect you. Dont fight or blame guards for what they do it is their JOB to watch prisoners and you are the reason you are there not them.


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## boooky (Mar 26, 2008)

Zoomin Loomen said:


> if you refuse to leave your cell at times when you are allowed to for rec or whatnot, people will think you are chickenshit (they'd be right) and get at you the first chance they could


Not true gangs dont just pick out the weak and kill them. They pick out the weak to do dirty work if you say "I dont want to im just trying to sit out my time" they will respect that and move on to the next guy to try and scare in to doing dirty work.

People dont think in jail thats what gets your ass kicked. Just sit there and do your time thats all you can do. Or you could join a gang and think your tough until you realize you yourself are the pussy.


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## Zoomin Loomen (Mar 26, 2008)

if confronted and in a dire situation, make like you were gonna bitch out and suck dudes dick then bite it off

gouge eyes, punch throats, bite and break fingers, throw elbows, headbutt, if you get someone down dont let them up


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## Zoomin Loomen (Mar 26, 2008)

so youd advise barricading yourself in your cell? are you serious?

i didnt advocate going out and starting a fight but you cant fucking hide


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## boooky (Mar 26, 2008)

You watch to much HBO and have never been to prison........You got that off of OZ non of that is even close to what happens unless you brought it on your self..


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## KAOSOWNER (Mar 26, 2008)

First rule in prison is to mind your buisness, dont get into debt, dont borrow anything or give away it shows a weakness and you will be taken advantage of, Dont join a gang anything your gang does you must do and will get jacked up or murdered for not, trust no one, Stick with your race because race is big in prison and people will think your a snitch if you do otherwise. And best of all dont let the time do you ( or anybody else for that matter )You do the time. Lets hope that laws change for the better and that nobody has to follow my advise. Stay safe and grow well


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## boooky (Mar 26, 2008)

Prison I went to wasnt as bad on gangs as lets say San Q in cali... But thats also different part of the country where mexicans run the prisons. Around here the guys in San Q would get the shit beat out of them by guards in riot gear every day acting the way they do. Most prisons owners keep conrtol of it in a better manner and dont let gangs run the prison. Your in a gang here and you show threats to anyone welcome to 24 hour lock down and talking to yourself for the remainder of your stay.


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## Zoomin Loomen (Mar 26, 2008)

Booky, youre right about me not ever having been there.

Its actually not some HBO induced vision I have about it, I just think of the worst possible scenario and how I might try to handle it. Hope for the best, plan for the worst so to speak.

The part about not cloistering yourself in a cell was a tip from a friend of mine who was in a state pen for 2 years, though. 

Other than that, lets hope I never have to find out firsthand what it would really be like. Or any one of us just over some herb.


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## SayNoToDrugs (Mar 26, 2008)

Keep your butthole tight. haha, anyone seen the Ten Commandments movie??? lmao, it was too fuckin funny.


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## boooky (Mar 26, 2008)

Zoomin Loomen said:


> Booky, youre right about me not ever having been there.
> 
> Its actually not some HBO induced vision I have about it, I just think of the worst possible scenario and how I might try to handle it. Hope for the best, plan for the worst so to speak.
> 
> ...


You learn in prison that your celly is the only person you can trust so your cell is prolly your best bet. Stick to your agenda and thats going home no matter what you gotta go home....If sombody trys to take your brownie...Its a brownie...He will get his ass kicked later by peckerwoods for trying to run shit give him his fucking brownie....If hes coming to take your brownie he will kill you for that brownie.....I had to deal with this the first time I went in when some little crack head tryed to take my dinner roll......HELLS NO CRACK FUCK!! Beat the fuck outa him and it added 2 months on.....Shoulda just gave him the dinner roll.....


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## Zoomin Loomen (Mar 26, 2008)

Now by brownie do you mean your asshole...or like a snack cake?


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## babylonburn (Mar 26, 2008)

rastaman dont wear handcuffs...people are talking about how to perpetrate...FEAR IS WEAKNESS...PUSSYBOI WILL BE A PUSSY BOI ...INI WHOLE LIFE I LICKED SHOTS...SUM JUS LICK PUSSY
BURN BABYLON


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## lucky182 (Mar 26, 2008)

Get lots and lots of cigarettes.... Lots! they go a long way..

L

oh yeah and bring a nice ball of bubble hash.. this goes even further!!!!!! I shouldn't have to explain how... :O


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## boooky (Mar 27, 2008)

Zoomin Loomen said:


> Now by brownie do you mean your asshole...or like a snack cake?


LMAO Like snack cake fool.........Thats stupid I set myself up for that shit......I would have prolly killed him or died trying. I matrixed across the room when my girl tryed to slip the finger I couldnt imagine what that guy would have incountered....He was a little black dude with like 4 teeth tops.


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## Stormfront (Mar 27, 2008)

i think it's amazing what people believe happens in jail, jails in my state are quiet to say the least, i spent 2 months in jail with murderers and rapists, thieves and dealers, general pop. the cat who walks in the first day planning on fucking up the first person who fucks with has another thing coming, i watched this cat get jumped by 20 guys for knocking some guy with a tray in the caf, over a fuckin napkin, the reason you don't fuck with someone who's already there, is because they've already been established, you dont know what they're in for and they know why you're there, i did my 2 months because of a technicality, no record. My cousin is in a federal prison, for murder and weapons charges, when i visit him i cringe when he tells me what it's like, you walk defiant or you fall, we don't fit in with the racial things it's hard being arabic because unless it's gitmo, you'll probably be the only one, if you look white, it doesn't matter the nazi crackers wont accept you, if you're darker, the latinos and the blacks cant tell what you are and most likely wont accept you either, My cuz is spending the rest of his life in solitude, he doesn't fuck with people for the same reason i never di, you're not there for friends, and you're not there to live well, you did a crime(however bullshit it is) and you're paying for it, nobody lies and says you don't get raped in jail, it's a possibility, but so is getting killed or beat everyday for the rest of your life, best bet is to stay quiet, and if you have a short stay, dont be stupid and make it longer, gangs will pick you up quick and claim loyalty as long as they think you can do something for them, someone else here said it, it's the same as it is on the outside, when i was locked up it was in a local corrections facility, most of the cats were people i went to highschool with, old neighbors, and friends...and none of that shit mattered when i was inside, everyone gets another life when they are in jail, and it's never a good one, you get what you get, take it or leave it, even if you know someone they'll try to use that to THEIR advantage, fuck friends and fuck making enemies, keep to yourself dont disrespect and wait out your time. never pussy out if they approach you never cry, and never let them own you, be as much of a man as you were when you were doing illegal shit.


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## lucky182 (Mar 27, 2008)

Stormfront said:


> i think it's amazing what people believe happens in jail, jails in my state are quiet to say the least, i spent 2 months in jail with murderers and rapists, thieves and dealers, general pop. the cat who walks in the first day planning on fucking up the first person who fucks with has another thing coming, i watched this cat get jumped by 20 guys for knocking some guy with a tray in the caf, over a fuckin napkin, the reason you don't fuck with someone who's already there, is because they've already been established, you dont know what they're in for and they know why you're there, i did my 2 months because of a technicality, no record. My cousin is in a federal prison, for murder and weapons charges, when i visit him i cringe when he tells me what it's like, you walk defiant or you fall, we don't fit in with the racial things it's hard being arabic because unless it's gitmo, you'll probably be the only one, if you look white, it doesn't matter the nazi crackers wont accept you, if you're darker, the latinos and the blacks cant tell what you are and most likely wont accept you either, My cuz is spending the rest of his life in solitude, he doesn't fuck with people for the same reason i never di, you're not there for friends, and you're not there to live well, you did a crime(however bullshit it is) and you're paying for it, nobody lies and says you don't get raped in jail, it's a possibility, but so is getting killed or beat everyday for the rest of your life, best bet is to stay quiet, and if you have a short stay, dont be stupid and make it longer, gangs will pick you up quick and claim loyalty as long as they think you can do something for them, someone else here said it, it's the same as it is on the outside, when i was locked up it was in a local corrections facility, most of the cats were people i went to highschool with, old neighbors, and friends...and none of that shit mattered when i was inside, everyone gets another life when they are in jail, and it's never a good one, you get what you get, take it or leave it, even if you know someone they'll try to use that to THEIR advantage, fuck friends and fuck making enemies, keep to yourself dont disrespect and wait out your time. never pussy out if they approach you never cry, and never let them own you, be as much of a man as you were when you were doing illegal shit.


Yup happened to me too.... Went for only 3 weeks before I got to see a judge for bail, local corrections.... jails where I am are extremely lax.... It's kinda funny... we have playstations and pool tables all kinds of shit... it's really not that bad.. even the food wasn't too too bad... I know I was lucky to have got there the same day they passed around the stuff you coud buy with commisarry...... and I was arrested with a good amount of money so they took a bit out of the evidence and let me bring some with me in my envelope... (BTW I got the evidence back)... So I bought a carto of cigarettes some candy, deck of cards basically a 100$ worth of stuff you can get at 7/11... anyhow make a long story short, sit around watching tv, and gambling for 3 weeks... got to see the sun for an hr a day... not bad....
worst problem I had was no belt and baggy pants I had to hold up... kinda funny... they took my belt...hehehe anyhow that was like 10 years ago... took about a week to get that jail smell out...

Lucky


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## Stormfront (Mar 27, 2008)

lucky182 said:


> Yup happened to me too.... Went for only 3 weeks before I got to see a judge for bail, local corrections.... jails where I am are extremely lax.... It's kinda funny... we have playstations and pool tables all kinds of shit... it's really not that bad.. even the food wasn't too too bad... I know I was lucky to have got there the same day they passed around the stuff you coud buy with commisarry...... and I was arrested with a good amount of money so they took a bit out of the evidence and let me bring some with me in my envelope... (BTW I got the evidence back)... So I bought a carto of cigarettes some candy, deck of cards basically a 100$ worth of stuff you can get at 7/11... anyhow make a long story short, sit around watching tv, and gambling for 3 weeks... got to see the sun for an hr a day... not bad....
> worst problem I had was no belt and baggy pants I had to hold up... kinda funny... they took my belt...hehehe anyhow that was like 10 years ago... took about a week to get that jail smell out...
> 
> Lucky


sucks in my state, they wont let you smoke in jail anymore, no pool tables, no playstations, no good food(the meat is mostly fecal) so i got skinny as hell, on edge constantly, and had almost no money for commisary, i did have fitting pants though so it wasn't so bad lol


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## lucky182 (Mar 27, 2008)

hehe ya here too I think they stopped it maybe not in my province but I'm 100% sure they still smoke pot!  

L


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## boooky (Mar 27, 2008)

Stormfront said:


> sucks in my state, they wont let you smoke in jail anymore, no pool tables, no playstations, no good food(the meat is mostly fecal) so i got skinny as hell, on edge constantly, and had almost no money for commisary, i did have fitting pants though so it wasn't so bad lol


Same here cant do not nothing but scratch your ass when it itched and eat hairy turkey sandwitches...


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## FilthyFletch (Mar 27, 2008)

Prison is better then county at least better then cook county jail.First thing t you new jail birds if you hapen to find ohh lets say a twinkie or cupcake box on your bed dont eat them its not cuz someone is nice if you take the gift your someones bitch.In most prisons its real racial so if you aint with friends and if your not gang affiliated your gonna ahve to go to your race to stay safe.Cultures mix as far as gangs but no gang members are free property so as much as it sucks white better go to arrayan nation and black folks with be with the brothers and mexicans will be with th brown nation.Never turn your back in the yard keep it to a safe corner or zone and if you get with a group stand back to back to watch any attack.Dont talk shit but dont get punked cuz if it happens once your done so even if your gonna loose you better fight with some heart showing you got heart and fight or your a daily target.Watch cell walkbys as you might get a dose of light fluid flame throwers or a fould fece spray


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## 40acres (Mar 27, 2008)

FilthyFletch said:


> Prison is better then county at least better then *cook county* jail.First thing t you new jail birds if you hapen to find ohh lets say a twinkie or cupcake box on your bed dont eat them its not cuz someone is nice if you take the gift your someones bitch.In most prisons its real racial so if you aint with friends and if your not gang affiliated your gonna ahve to go to your race to stay safe.Cultures mix as far as gangs but no gang members are free property so as much as it sucks white better go to arrayan nation and black folks with be with the brothers and mexicans will be with th brown nation.Never turn your back in the yard keep it to a safe corner or zone and if you get with a group stand back to back to watch any attack.Dont talk shit but dont get punked cuz if it happens once your done so even if your gonna loose you better fight with some heart showing you got heart and fight or your a daily target.Watch cell walkbys as you might get a dose of light fluid flame throwers or a fould fece spray


I heard cook county was a bitch. And County jails all suck ass. I'd much rather be in prison.
And if you find something on your bed that isn't yours, such as a chocolate or a twinkie, sweep it to the ground and act as if you never saw it.


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## 40acres (Mar 27, 2008)

*Number 5 *
Do not go in expecting your significant other to be waiting for you. Your wife or girlfriend has needs, and they will be helped by someone. Its probably someone you know. So don't go and tell stories of how your old lady is faithful and loves you and will be there when you get out. Others will laugh at you if you do
And she may be there when you get out. She'll just have eaten up 15 or so dicks while you have been away.


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## boooky (Mar 27, 2008)

40acres said:


> *Number 5 *
> Do not go in expecting your significant other to be waiting for you. Your wife or girlfriend has needs, and they will be helped by someone. Its probably someone you know. So don't go and tell stories of how your old lady is faithful and loves you and will be there when you get out. Others will laugh at you if you do
> And she may be there when you get out. She'll just have eaten up 15 or so dicks while you have been away.


LMAO so true.....


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## SayNoToDrugs (Mar 27, 2008)

FilthyFletch said:


> Prison is better then county at least better then cook county jail.First thing t you new jail birds if you hapen to find ohh lets say a twinkie or cupcake box on your bed dont eat them its not cuz someone is nice if you take the gift your someones bitch.In most prisons its real racial so if you aint with friends and if your not gang affiliated your gonna ahve to go to your race to stay safe.Cultures mix as far as gangs but no gang members are free property so as much as it sucks white better go to arrayan nation and black folks with be with the brothers and mexicans will be with th brown nation.Never turn your back in the yard keep it to a safe corner or zone and if you get with a group stand back to back to watch any attack.Dont talk shit but dont get punked cuz if it happens once your done so even if your gonna loose you better fight with some heart showing you got heart and fight or your a daily target.Watch cell walkbys as you might get a dose of light fluid flame throwers or a fould fece spray


LAMO, i loved your small story about your jail time!


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## 40acres (Mar 27, 2008)

*NUMBER 7 *

Do not expect anyone on the outside to write you or send you money. You put yourself there, it is not there fault. Everyone forgets about you when you are gone. It will hurt when the mail eventually trails off, but you will live. 



And no, I had people writing me the whole time. I had this one old lady in particualr that wrote me alot. And by old lady, I mean she was at least 50 to my 19. I just saw alot of heartbroken people in there when mail day came.


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## SayNoToDrugs (Mar 27, 2008)

40acres said:


> *NUMBER 7 *
> 
> Do not expect anyone on the outside to write you or send you money. You put yourself there, it is not there fault. Everyone forgets about you when you are gone. It will hurt when the mail eventually trails off, but you will live.
> 
> ...


Damn, that sounds really sad. But i know what you mean, once your sent off and away no body really shows as much love and cared as much as they said they did.


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## panhead (Mar 27, 2008)

How to act in the joint depends as much on where your locked down as it does how you carry yourself.

The first time i got caught up i went to MR which carries a nickname of "gladiator school" & that shit is for real,lots of young guys in there serving heavy bits,in that place you'd better be willing to catch a murder case at the drop of a hat or you wont make it out alive or with your manhood.

The 2nd time i was down i went behind the walls of Jackson prison,i went in with the same attitude from the last place,a few long timers i met in there had to tell me to chill out,much more casual place with alot more lifers just trying to go about living.

The first thing is to get your celly figured out real fast,thats the guy who's there when you close your eyes & sleep.

Dont loan borrow or front anything, but do start making connections,have your people bring you cash money on visits & become a good customer of the dealer's in there,also become a good paying customer of the numbers guys,businessmen dont generally fuck with their customers who pay,gangs run all the business in the joint & if your a paying customer your off limits as a mark to that gang,they will not take the chance to dry up the cash pipeline.

Get healthy,build your stamina as much as possible,before you get out you will need it.

Learn to live off food you buy from the commacery,eating the shit they serve you will give your ass the runs,plus some sick shit goes on with the food.

If you like to fight you'd better learn to like some shit called "nutriloaf",that shits a gut bomb,nutriloaf is what they fed you when your in the hole,its made up of all 3 meals from the day before,they lump all the left overs in a pan with some cornmeal, then bake it in bread pans,thats what your ass eats.

Take advantage of any program or school that you are eligable for,it kills time,you learn something & it puts you in a situation where if your observant you can see who the people are that are really just trying to make their time go by fast & easy,these are the people you want to run with.

Visit day will get you fucked up,dont show any emotion durring a visit,if you have a tendency to freak out & cry when your mother or wife comes then cut them off,if they wont stop comming then remove them from your list.

Never EVER look at the ground for any reason,all it takes is for the right person to see you lookin at your boots & its on.

Same goes for smiling,if your the kinda that goes around grinning then you'd better stop.

Pay attention to the way you talk to people,if your the kinda guy who likes to use the word whitey,nigger,spic,faggott,whop ect, you'd better get that shit outta your system real fast,also keep your personal life on the outside to yourself,when your done with letters throw them out,watch who's around when your on the phone too.

Give your girl straight up permission to fuck anything that moves,she'll break her back working 2 jobs to bring you hundred dollar bills every visit plus you'll have nothing to be pissed at her about .

If your a small man with nice features(think Justin Timberlake),before you get out of quarantine you'd better tell the intake worker that your suicidal,you'll get put on suicide watch in a cell by yourself & be locked down 23 hours a day but its better than getting the 'cho cho" taken.


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## SayNoToDrugs (Mar 27, 2008)

panhead said:


> How to act in the joint depends as much on where your locked down as it does how you carry yourself.
> 
> The first time i got caught up i went to MR which carries a nickname of "gladiator school" & that shit is for real,lots of young guys in there serving heavy bits,in that place you'd better be willing to catch a murder case at the drop of a hat or you wont make it out alive or with your manhood.
> 
> ...


Wow, publish this into a book. lol, sounds like you had a hard time.


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## panhead (Mar 27, 2008)

SayNoToDrugs said:


> Wow, publish this into a book. lol, sounds like you had a hard time.


Fuck yeah i had a hard time,everybody does,if they say otherwise their a liar.


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## woodsyn2o (Mar 27, 2008)

40acres said:


> We are not in prison, so lets act with a litlle hospitality for peoples thoughts please.


i didn say any thing about peopls thoughts but it is th intra web so whats


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## Miracle Smoke (Mar 27, 2008)

Prison......i believe there are many people who should
not be in such a environment.

But there is majority of ones that should.

I wonder why about alot of things......


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## lucky182 (Mar 27, 2008)

panhead said:


> Fuck yeah i had a hard time,everybody does,if they say otherwise their a liar.


Unless your in Canada... Federal in Quebec has BBQ's on weekends and you live 6 to a hut on a compound... Not bad you ask me... Even congiecal visits once a month you get a trailer for the weekend to fuck ya brains out... But ya gotta be married.. that way bitch ain't suckin' no wannabe's dick!

L


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## FilthyFletch (Mar 28, 2008)

lol BBQ thats funny. Yeah prison aint made to be fun although a few of my peoples have spent just as much time in as out so I was hooked up on my part not that I wanna go again.Pan got it pretty much right as how it goes each place is little different but you figure it out fast or get fucked lol.I was always good as I grew up in gangs so I knew I had instant fam inside but inside gang is different thenoutside gang.Its a lot stricter inside then out as far as organization and sticking to rules..Time can be done safely if you stay alert and dsont step on the wrong toes.


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## lucky182 (Mar 28, 2008)

In Quebec it's Simple... Black or bikers... or in protec So.. it's pretty simple...

L

Oh yeah and when you go in they ask your prefrence also.. Rock machine hells angels o black (well in that case they don't ask) then you get sent to a different wing or prison... Basically u claim with the gov't when you enter... 

L


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## Stormfront (Mar 28, 2008)

remind me to run to canada if i ever fuck up real bad....

the gangs round here are pretty much black(Crips Bloods, or GD) Latino (ALKN, La Familia, or Nuestra Familia, which is only in prison) and whites (Aryan Nation) when i was in it didn't matter what set you were from on the outside it only mattered what your race was, I look somewhat white so i was approached immediately by the aryan fucks, luckily i had friends who were in already who had told me what to do before i ever got locked up, and cats i grew up with doing time when i got there, the Latinos wanted me to join them for some reason lol but i pretty much stayed to myself fiending for cigs and weed, but yea, both are strictly forbidden in my state's institutions, never eat from from the caf, any meat has shit in it, get at the commissary when you can, if you cant afford it eat things you cant really fuck with, like bread it sucks but you wont starve, you could say you're suicidal but they dont really buy it anymore, if you're that desperate find something sharp and cut yourself up nothing deadly but all over your arms and legs, expect to get scarred up, but at least you'll be out of the arena.


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## 40acres (Mar 28, 2008)

*number 7*
* Homosexuals will kill you*
Most men think homosexuals are pantywearing fairies. That may be true. What is true though is that I once had a punk pick me up in the air. I am 6' 1 and weigh 200. In the air, like i was nothing. Just because i didnt say hi. The motherfucker was built like and looked like a diesel mac truck with lipstick on. Big ugly black motherfucker.
Do not make fun of or otherwise look down on the sisters. Even when you see them walking the track with their shirts tied up. THey are still men and have probably seen things you don't want to. If you arent worried about suckin dick in prison, you probably arent worried about having your boyfriend beat up a fng for making fun of you for it.
I'm not talking about the booty bandits though, they are in the next segment.


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## 40acres (Mar 28, 2008)

boooky said:


> *You learn in prison that your celly is the only person you can trust so your cell is prolly your best bet*. Stick to your agenda and thats going home no matter what you gotta go home....If sombody trys to take your brownie...Its a brownie...He will get his ass kicked later by peckerwoods for trying to run shit give him his fucking brownie....If hes coming to take your brownie he will kill you for that brownie.....I had to deal with this the first time I went in when some little crack head tryed to take my dinner roll......HELLS NO CRACK FUCK!! Beat the fuck outa him and it added 2 months on.....Shoulda just gave him the dinner roll.....


 
Remember that your celly didnt come in with you and isn't leaving with you. I know alot of real bad cats with real good conversation. The fact that you are locked in a cell with him limits alot of real dramatics between two people though.


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## mrskitz (Mar 28, 2008)

ive been inside for a year,and it really aint that bad,but i live in the uk,,prison in the states is different,theres much more politics involved,with gangs and racial seperation,,,id hate to do time in the states,,,oh and being rapped in uk prisons is very rare so you dont really need to worry about that,,,i didnt leave with a soar arsehole lol


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## girlyhits (Mar 28, 2008)

How about female prisons? The only reference piont I have is cheesy b movies with lesbian undertones.


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## 40acres (Mar 28, 2008)

One place i was at was coed until a few years before i got there. The std and birth rate went crazy during the program and it was ended.


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## pandabear (Mar 28, 2008)

damn boys u make a nigga wanna quit growin


40 acres u got 24 months for intent to grow?? whats that? m0re detail pls


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## 40acres (Mar 28, 2008)

IT's a lesser charge to sales or trafficking. And it was 25 months.I was also charged with two felony counts of obstruction of justice. Doesnt seem like much, but when a person does not tell, and if you are poor, you get the shaft. I did my time, but as you can tell, it only made be better at what i do.


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## panhead (Mar 28, 2008)

40acres said:


> I did my time, but as you can tell, it only made be better at what i do.


Same here,i couldnt be paid a million dollars to grow even a tomatoe in my home now or to keep more than an 1/8th in my house,even then i keep it locked in my safe.

My wife bought a silly ass areo garden that she keeps pestering me about,she wants me to bring her home a few clones so she can set that thing up,i can see it now,3rd felony conviction over a stupid areo garden,that thing will see no use.


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## Cheese x Kush (Mar 28, 2008)

Any 1 watch my name is earl . last night it he got time and thats what his question was ... the answer was stay invisable and do not owe any 1 any thing or you will owe them your ass haha


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## pandabear (Mar 28, 2008)

panhead said:


> Same here,i couldnt be paid a million dollars to grow even a tomatoe in my home now or to keep more than an 1/8th in my house,even then i keep it locked in my safe.
> 
> My wife bought a silly ass areo garden that she keeps pestering me about,she wants me to bring her home a few clones so she can set that thing up,i can see it now,3rd felony conviction over a stupid areo garden,that thing will see no use.


 
oh shit would that be eligable for the 3rd strike rule? goddam I dont blame you for hiding that 1/8 like that.

i fucked around the nether regions of Atlanta for a few years but I never got into fights and stabbing muggings and shit. Had a few things stolen, i think 4 ozs of shwag once. even knew who did it but I was not fittin to mess with that nigga. they called him bigman and it wasnt cuz he was tiny. one time that nigga came over my house with his shoes all bloody from kickin his cousins ass. I was like if thats the way he treat family then fuck that!! this guy was sellin crack to his mom. 

funny thing was me and my boy would sell erb outa our appartment to the whole appartment complex, we would leave the erb and money just lieing around tryin to act like we were so badass no one would dare take shit from us, but obviously after many months someone dared to so we just chalked it up as a business expense and kept slangin cuz it was our own dumbass fault and our main focus was $$$

those were the good ol days i would be up all night and my boy would be up all day, we had that shit going 24/7 and cops never even looked at us wrong,

I had this female cop once let me go even after this big asshole cop cuffed me and told me I was going to jail all screemin in my face and shit cuz he found a 1/4 bag on me. what a fuckin ass hole, he put me in this bitches cop car, i talk to her for like 2 seconds and she goes off and tells that silly nigga that she was gonna just take me back home

I wanted to laugh in that other cops face, but I didnt.

I tell you tho i been let off so many times its not even funny, pulled over 3 times pissed silly drunk and they let me go every time. on time the cop was like well your drunk so i cant let you drive home. he took my car to the impound and drove me and my gurl to wafflehouse we had a deliciaous 4 am breakfast by the way.

maybe Ill start a thread about how to correspond with cops. 

ok ill just put it here:

1) When getting pulled over it speaks volumes to the officer if you show concern for thier safty & they will let you off in return cuz it almost never happens to them,:

Example: Got pulled over speeding on a road without a break down lane, i had to stop in the middle of the street. so I stopped in the street but then slowly pulled my car halfway onto the sidewalk so when the cop came to my window he was shielded from oncomming traffic by his car. He let me go with no worries. and told me he appriciated my concern for his well being saying im a "good guy" I was in the car with no shirt on tryin to look like 2 pac at the time so I didnt look like one of the good guys

2) Ofcoarse u are gonna lie to the cop, but dont be stupid and tell him u only had 1 or 2 beers. these guys get lied to everyday, and if there hear somone tell the truth, half thier arresting urge is removed. you need to say somthing that makes it sound like the truth so you say " I did drank a lot sir I hope im not over the limit had about five beers in the past maybe 2 hours. this way u are vague but at the same time sound believable. i mean u even admit "I hope im not over the limit", "lets figure this out together officor "Usually they will only give you the road test. If your a professional drinker you should be able to pass that no problem.

3) always turn off the engine and keep both hands on the wheel no matter what.

all these little things show the officor that you are not a threat / and are concerned for thier trust and well being


Once i was driving like a nut across the state, speeding switching lanes actin a fool cuttin off cars. well I get pulled and this cops comes up red faced screemin at me at the top of his lungs even spittin like. "what the fuck do you think your doing, you peice of shit yada yada, he kept screamin in my ear why were you doing it like he looked like he was ready to start cuffin, so my response

"im and idiot sir"

Cop: what the hell are you fuckin doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"im an idiot sir"

so he keep askin the same question over and over and over again and I reply about litterally 7-8 times

"im an idiot sir" 
"im an idiot sir" 
"im an idiot sir" 
"im an idiot sir" 

finally after the strange exchange we all chill out, he told me later he was gonna take me to jail for reckless endangerment of somthin to that effect. but he let me go finally still got a ticket tho.

oh well I never ride dirty anymore, i keep my ass at home

thanks for the tips guys hope i never gotta usem


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## Corso312 (Mar 28, 2008)

nahhh cook county aint that bad ...dont get me wrong some crazy shit goes down there i been in cook county more than a few times....same people in state prison but cook county max security is pretty much on lockdown all the time....across the street at min and med security at cook county are pretty chill usually


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## panhead (Mar 28, 2008)

pandabear said:


> oh shit would that be eligable for the 3rd strike rule? goddam I dont blame you for hiding that 1/8 like that.


You guessed it,where im from you get a letter infront of your prison number,every time you go back the numbers advance starting with A.

Ive met guys who have like an E or an F prefix who never do any long sentances,if your broke & didnt kill anybody they just pump you through fast,but if youu have a good job,own land,cars & have bank accounts then they will use the 3rd strike bullshit on you,that way they get everything you own one way opr the other,if its not a crime that falls under the seizure & forfiture laws where then can automatically take everything they'll make sure the fines are so large you'll have to sell it all off to pay them.

Grow a see of green in my state & you can be fined $10,000,000 & get 15 years.


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## mastakoosh (Mar 28, 2008)

10 mil-holy shit!!


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## lucky182 (Mar 28, 2008)

panhead said:


> You guessed it,where im from you get a letter infront of your prison number,every time you go back the numbers advance starting with A.
> 
> Ive met guys who have like an E or an F prefix who never do any long sentances,if your broke & didnt kill anybody they just pump you through fast,but if youu have a good job,own land,cars & have bank accounts then they will use the 3rd strike bullshit on you,that way they get everything you own one way opr the other,if its not a crime that falls under the seizure & forfiture laws where then can automatically take everything they'll make sure the fines are so large you'll have to sell it all off to pay them.
> 
> Grow a see of green in my state & you can be fined $10,000,000 & get 15 years.


Whaddya in Nevada?! talk about gamblin'!

L


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## 40acres (Mar 28, 2008)

*Number 8*
Booty bandits are a time honored prison tradition. Men who feel the need to rape other men. I actually witnessed a guy about my age getting taken in the shower. Your stomach will just drop out after seeing something like that.
A few rules to follow to help stay clear of ass rapists. Follow all my previous rules. Do not think the biggest guy in your cellhouse wants to be friends with you and take care of you because you really are a nice guy and he can "see that in you". You will get raped
Once again, do not eat some sweets that a random nightmare offers you. You will get raped.
If you are challenged, make yourself fight. I know i am talking to a bunch of potheads, which is good, but if you don't fight, you will get assraped. And i don't mean pick fights or be billy badass, but if someone tests you, and even if you get beat up, fight.
Ass rapists are like other predators, they will get you any way they can. So if you have been marked to be someones human cocksheath,find a weapon and use it. I don't like violence, but it's better than being violated in the rectum.

I don't know if it's appropriate to tell anyone how to make weapons, so if noone tells me no by tomorrow, i will do: *weapons of death from newspaper and toothpaste*


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## 40acres (Mar 28, 2008)

this is where i was at. Sorry for the small pics.


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## Token (Mar 28, 2008)

I got two Brothers in club fed, and so far in this thread only 3 people sound like they know what there talking bout, I've never been to prison but was locked up for two years when i was younger and went to afew state hospitials and other places too, and the first night at one place I got tested (jumped) but i held my head high and never let anyone think there where better then me, you have to have respect for yourself and respect for others (but don't be there bitch) and be a suck up, just be honest.

One of my brothers is called a peaker wood


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## lucky182 (Mar 28, 2008)

Stormfront said:


> remind me to run to canada if i ever fuck up real bad....



I think peeps have been doin' that for years? no? 

L


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## 40acres (Mar 29, 2008)

Token said:


> I got two Brothers in club fed, and so far in this thread *only 3 people sound like they know what there talking bout*, I've never been to prison but was locked up for two years when i was younger and went to afew state hospitials and other places too, and the first night at one place I got tested (jumped) but i held my head high and never let anyone think there where better then me, you have to have respect for yourself and respect for others (but don't be there bitch) and be a suck up, just be honest.
> 
> One of my brothers is called a peaker wood


 I hope i am one of those people


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## 40acres (Mar 30, 2008)

*Number 9*
Sometimes in prison you will need a weapon to survive. I myself had to carry one more than once. There are many ways to either get or make a weapon in prison. The simplest way is to bribe someone in the machine shop or on a construction detail. They can get you pipe and sharp pieces of steel.This is good for those that can find someone to help them
In the absence of friendlies, one must be able to macgyver instruments of death. The padlock in the sock or stocking cap is effecient.As just about anything heavy that you can put into a hat or sock or towel will work fine. This means soap, cans of pop, rocks,and marble dominoes will all work.
Sometime the bedsprings are old and can be taken off and fashioned into a knife. Toothbruskes can be sharpened. Pencils, pencils in rolls, a broken porcelain toilet, or anything else sharp will do
One guy taught me how to make a shiv out of newspaper and toothpaste. Just keep rolling the newspaper tight and to a point, while letting the toothpaste dry in between. If you have ever chipped you nail on toothpaste on your sink you know it gets hard. Newspaper also works as armor, if you wear it thick enough.
Anything that gets hot can also be fashioned into a weapon. We had hot pots, and people would fill them up with lotion or hair grease, and then attempt to hit someone with them. I saw one little asian guy splash an enormous black gangbanger in the face like that. It melted his face. Smelled like someone was getting a perm.

It gets wierd inside quick.


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## Token (Mar 30, 2008)

I want to add one more thing, also figure out a way to make money in there the man with the weapons power and respect is the money man, My peckerwood brother was making purno but got caught.


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## Token (Mar 30, 2008)

40acres said:


> *Number 9*
> Sometimes in prison you will need a weapon to survive. I myself had to carry one more than once. There are many ways to either get or make a weapon in prison. The simplest way is to bribe someone in the machine shop or on a construction detail. They can get you pipe and sharp pieces of steel.This is good for those that can find someone to help them
> In the absence of friendlies, one must be able to macgyver instruments of death. The padlock in the sock or stocking cap is effecient.As just about anything heavy that you can put into a hat or sock or towel will work fine. This means soap, cans of pop, rocks,and marble dominoes will all work.
> Sometime the bedsprings are old and can be taken off and fashioned into a knife. Toothbruskes can be sharpened. Pencils, pencils in rolls, a broken porcelain toilet, or anything else sharp will do
> ...


If you also have a roll of newspaper roll it up really tight either pee or wet it and it makes a pretty good billy-club.


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## 40acres (Mar 31, 2008)

In prison, Gumbo is the meal of the day. It is prepared with whatever ingredients you have.Tonight i will give you all the recipe for the tastiest gumbo that can be found. It will fill you up, tastes good, and best of all can be found on almost any commisary.


1.5 bags of ramen to taste per person
2 scoopps pastuerized cheese spread
Some precooked summer or lil boy sausage
This is all you really need. Heat ramen with hotpot and then add cheese and sausage. I like to put jalapenos and chili and refried beans in mine. I also like corn chips in the mix. I've seen everything that you can imagine go into a gumbo. We also liked to use those canned hams and cube them up. That was only when we could afford them however. If you are broke, then try just the ramen and a scoop of cheese. It is much better than chow line and will fill you up. 


And I still eat this because i like it. And I'm super ghetto. My white bread ass wife and kids won't eat it with me.


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## Charfizcool (Mar 31, 2008)

40acres said:


> And I still eat this because i like it. And I'm super ghetto. My white bread ass wife and kids won't eat it with me.


LMAO! I'd eat it.


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## panhead (Apr 1, 2008)

40acres said:


> In prison, Gumbo is the meal of the day. It is prepared with whatever ingredients you have.Tonight i will give you all the recipe for the tastiest gumbo that can be found. It will fill you up, tastes good, and best of all can be found on almost any commisary.
> 
> 
> 1.5 bags of ramen to taste per person
> ...


 
Boy did that bring back memories 

We called that kinda food "Hook Up's",the stuff i used to make was with Tortillia chips,Cheese sauce & Dinty Moore Canned beef,i cant even look at a can of that shit without getting sick to my stomache.

My wife bought a bunch of that Canned Beef bullshit years back because it was on sale,i saw that garbage in the pantry & was like "you got to be fucking kidding me !

If i never see another can of Dinty Moore canned beef or a damn Moonpie for the rest of my life i'll be happy.


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## pandabear (Apr 1, 2008)

my buddy was locked up for 4 years. when he got out this fool would still only eat ramen noodles by the hand full he so indoctrinated. took him months to start eating normal food.


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## hashtumbler (Apr 1, 2008)

Here in the UK, things are simple so long as you're not a dick or a nonce, jail time is easy. Worst thing about jail is not having your liberty...

SS


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## 40acres (Apr 2, 2008)

Remember that everywhere you go, there will be places where you can't see what is coming and it is probably not easy to get out of. these are called blind corners. THey may not even be a corner at all. These are places that the gaurds cannot see or get to easy, or that can be blocked off to prevent help.Bathrooms are a good place. landings on stairs are another good one. 
The older the building, the more blind corners that there will be. I was in a former territorial prison, so it was a dungeon where you were never safe unless your back was literally to a wall. A person must find all these spots in thier proximity, and walk through or around these spots with care if you ever feel like someone may want something from you. 
Just remember, no mtter how big you are, or how many friends you have, or that you are a former cuban national gaurdsman under fidel, someone can always get at you. I've seen 400 lb men take 5 dicks dry. Physical safety is never gauranteed.


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## ganji2 (Apr 2, 2008)

I would fucking kill somebody...


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## Miracle Smoke (Apr 2, 2008)

40acres said:


> Remember that everywhere you go, there will be places where you can't see what is coming and it is probably not easy to get out of. these are called blind corners. THey may not even be a corner at all. These are places that the gaurds cannot see or get to easy, or that can be blocked off to prevent help.Bathrooms are a good place. landings on stairs are another good one.
> The older the building, the more blind corners that there will be. I was in a former territorial prison, so it was a dungeon where you were never safe unless your back was literally to a wall. A person must find all these spots in thier proximity, and walk through or around these spots with care if you ever feel like someone may want something from you.
> Just remember, no mtter how big you are, or how many friends you have, or that you are a former cuban national gaurdsman under fidel, someone can always get at you. I've seen 400 lb men take 5 dicks dry. Physical safety is never gauranteed.


Damn, then ya might aswell go in prison expecting to get raped
no matter how you look at.

How the fuck can people do that, can't they comprehend what the fuck
they are doing.


----------



## 40acres (Apr 2, 2008)

The guy in question was in debt something fierce over meth from what i heard. Some kind of powder anyways. Meth is about 50 bucks a line inside. 

And you should never go anywhere expecting to get raped. If you have a victims attitude, you will be a victim.


----------



## Cannabolic (Apr 2, 2008)

40acres said:


> I never joined a gang. I was only doing 25 months and did not want to do more.
> Gangs in prison have their role. They are a sort of twisted equilibrium to eachother and the cops. Most prisoners seperate themselves by color and race, with the latinos also going sereno and norteno, and the blacks with their gang from the street.
> Gangs can get you things. Drugs, protection and other stuff. They also make you do things for that help. You hold guns and drugs. You hurt people. You extort. You rape. Things that besides being repugnant, will also get you more time than some weed would. So, unless you are doing real time, stay away.
> I was able to walk a very narrow line inside, because I was an educated white boy that knew the rules and didnt play games. I was there to do my own time and not anyone elses. I also didnt look or talk at the other races or even the total backwoods crackers as if I was any better then them.


my cousin is doing an 11 year sentance for armed robbery and being a fellon. he is almost done with his sentance, he gets out in 2009. when i talk to him on the phone he tells me things he has said that the whole thing about dropping the soap is mainly false. he said it never happends in county prisons and almost never happends in state prisons. he said federal prisons get it alot because thats where all the killers go and who arn't getting out and they jus rape ppl in there cuz they aint getting any pussy. he also said you don't have to join a gang, there are ppl in there who jus tryin to do their time and be out there not tryin to make themselves stay in there cuz he said its like being in a closet with the light off. he said as long as you mind your own business, keep your nose clean and don't run your mouth then you good. and he has spent 90% of his life in jail. he has been to juvie, county, and state prison twice. so i would trust his judgment over anyones. also if your in there on child molestation charges, forget it your a dead man.


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## 40acres (Apr 2, 2008)

if you were raped and had 5 more years to do with the same guys would you tell. I don' think most of it gets told on or talked about.


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## JohnnyBravo (Apr 2, 2008)

If you got raped by your celly, would you tell any one....No??.....You wanna go campin


----------



## BIGMIKE13 (Apr 2, 2008)

a rack of cookies will get you a lot of things.


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 2, 2008)

I doubt that this is true, but i heard they give injections to prevent erections.....bwahahahaaha.

Thats what someone told me though.


----------



## panhead (Apr 2, 2008)

Cannabolic said:


> my cousin is doing an 11 year sentance for armed robbery and being a fellon. he is almost done with his sentance, he gets out in 2009. when i talk to him on the phone he tells me things he has said that the whole thing about dropping the soap is mainly false. he said it never happends in county prisons and almost never happends in state prisons. he said federal prisons get it alot because thats where all the killers go and who arn't getting out and they jus rape ppl in there cuz they aint getting any pussy. he also said you don't have to join a gang, there are ppl in there who jus tryin to do their time and be out there not tryin to make themselves stay in there cuz he said its like being in a closet with the light off. he said as long as you mind your own business, keep your nose clean and don't run your mouth then you good. and he has spent 90% of his life in jail. he has been to juvie, county, and state prison twice. so i would trust his judgment over anyones. also if your in there on child molestation charges, forget it your a dead man.


Dude,believe whatever you want about prison,i can tell you one thing that will never change,being in prison is different for every man,each penitentiary is also different with a different set of rules.

All this shit your talking about nobody fuckin anybody in the ass is bullshit,it dont happen in every prison (minimum security or a camp) but it does happen in most(maximum security) & in some it's so wide spread you'd better be wearing lead underwear or be a fightin mother fucker,or just be lucky.

On my block was a tall ass white kid that looked exactly like "shaggy" from scooby doo,he musta been close to 7ft tall & skinny like a string bean,i had an idea he was fucked as soon as i saw him,one day on the court he took his shirt off,this kid had nipples that looked like girls nipples with big brown areola's,no shit they looked like flat chested girls titties,thats all it took,dudes were whistling at him & talking shit about his titties,after lights out that very night we all heard that kid begging his celly to stop,we also heard that kid getting the shit kicked out of him & there are not any guards running to anybody's rescue either,thats tv shit that dont happen,your ass is on your own unless the guards are in force & in full riot gear.

A few weeks later that same kid was a full blown sissy selling his ass for his man,that shit went on for the better part of a year, until his man (celly) got pissed at him one night & set his ass on fire in his sleep,they took that kid screaming & still smoking right past my cell,it made all the papers in my state,that kinda shit goes on every day.

There was also a man & wife team on my block,the wife would pop zits on her mans back right in front of everybody,the bitch did her hair all up like a girl & had a swishy ass walk,they would walk hand in fukin hand everywhere they went & they had each others back big time,they were in love.

There was also several sissies where i was at the last time who were taking hormone injections to grow real titties,they were transgender or some shit.

If you really think your gonna be ok in the joint just because you keep your nose clean your dreaming,its as much luck as it is about who you are & how you appear to others.

Its all a myth huh ?

This is Gladiator School.

YouTube - Real Prison Rape

YouTube - Forced Feminization in Prison


----------



## Token (Apr 2, 2008)

Cannabolic said:


> my cousin is doing an 11 year sentance for armed robbery and being a fellon. he is almost done with his sentance, he gets out in 2009. when i talk to him on the phone he tells me things he has said that the whole thing about dropping the soap is mainly false. he said it never happends in county prisons and almost never happends in state prisons. he said federal prisons get it alot because thats where all the killers go and who arn't getting out and they jus rape ppl in there cuz they aint getting any pussy. he also said you don't have to join a gang, there are ppl in there who jus tryin to do their time and be out there not tryin to make themselves stay in there cuz he said its like being in a closet with the light off. he said as long as you mind your own business, keep your nose clean and don't run your mouth then you good. and he has spent 90% of his life in jail. he has been to juvie, county, and state prison twice. so i would trust his judgment over anyones. also if your in there on child molestation charges, forget it your a dead man.


 
yeah they call them peddies


----------



## Token (Apr 2, 2008)

who was ever had to go to Federal prison, i hate just going and seeing my brothers there i always feel sad leaving because i know they can't, fuck the government. but it is cool to get to meet all the once big fish and mafia types, My older brother got to meet Jorge Young(yes the dude from blow) when they shipped him to NC he said they played chest, he got to fly on conair he said it wasn't like the movie though.


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 2, 2008)

panhead said:


> Dude,believe whatever you want about prison,i can tell you one thing that will never change,being in prison is different for every man,each penitentiary is also different with a different set of rules.
> 
> All this shit your talking about nobody fuckin anybody in the ass is bullshit,it dont happen in every prison (minimum security or a camp) but it does happen in most(maximum security) & in some it's so wide spread you'd better be wearing lead underwear or be a fightin mother fucker,or just be lucky.
> 
> ...




Thats just disturbing, but honestly are these type of people really
that desperate to get some ass?

Or are most of these rapists sexual offenders?


----------



## Charfizcool (Apr 2, 2008)

^^^when you're in jail for 25+ years I don't think you'd still be saying that It is gross but that's cause people in prison don't see females much (if at all). Some people that have been in prison so long they go crazy for females. Like any women they see they "fall in love" with even if they've never talked to them.


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 2, 2008)

Charfizcool said:


> ^^^when you're in jail for 25+ years I don't think you'd still be saying that It is gross but that's cause people in prison don't see females much (if at all). Some people that have been in prison so long they go crazy for females. Like any women they see they "fall in love" with even if they've never talked to them.


Yes i would, its sick and thats all there is too it.

Besides id rather masturbate.


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## Charfizcool (Apr 2, 2008)

same here but some guys just get tired of using their hand.


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## Miracle Smoke (Apr 2, 2008)

I guess the bottom line is: Fight like hell and hope for the best eh?


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## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

panhead said:


> If your a small man with nice features(think Justin Timberlake),before you get out of quarantine you'd better tell the intake worker that your suicidal,you'll get put on suicide watch in a cell by yourself & be locked down 23 hours a day but its better than getting the 'cho cho" taken.


This is the shit that freaks me out, right here. I'm 5'11", 175#. I have a feeling that's kinda small for jail/prison. I look younger than I am. I'm not a pretty boy, but I have a chiseled face. I'm slim, not very hairy, etc. 

And around here, in SoCal, I've got a feeling the situation could be fairly dire....

I were going to jail, I think I'd spend my time before going in trying to get as jacked as possible (steroids, HGH, what the fuck ever....) learning the basics of how to defend myself (beyond playground bullshit) and re-learning Spanish so I'm not perceived as a total cracker. The Aryans wouldn't touch me, and I might rather die than ask them for help anyway. My self respect wouldn't survive if I did and that would be just as deadly. 

Does that sound reasonably sane?


This is a fucked up question, but here goes: can you buy protection w/o opening yourself to extortion?

Anyway, someone needs to slap me the next time I think about pushing the medical growing limits.....


----------



## Azgrow (Apr 3, 2008)

> can you buy protection w/o opening yourself to extortion?


nope..


> and re-learning Spanish so I'm not perceived as a total cracker. The Aryans wouldn't touch me, and I might rather die than ask them for help anyway


its all raced up...if you aint down with the white an your white,your fucked....even if you didn't wanna join up you see a white brother gettin stomped by some blacks or mexi's an you better jump or have everyone ready to jump on you...peace az


----------



## 40acres (Apr 3, 2008)

Azgrow said:


> nope..
> 
> its all raced up...if you aint down with the white an your white,your fucked....even if you didn't wanna join up you see a white brother gettin stomped by some blacks or mexi's an you better jump or have everyone ready to jump on you...peace az


 the thing with the white boys is that they don't alsmost automatically clique up like the mexicans and blacks do.


And on the booty bandits, I was in with some brothers name cletus and brasil bohannon. You can look them up on the kdoc website. They came in with a few years and never left because they kept raping. One got to work release and raped a boy there.
I thought i was at least normal size(6'0 200lbs), and when i got to prison I felt small. There are guys there doing reps with everything on the bench. I saw one guy break a louisville slugger with his hands. Scary.

Kansas Department of Corrections

Here is one of them. this is the one that raped in work release. Notice when he came in and what for, and then notice what he has been in trouble for since he's been in.


----------



## JohnnyBravo (Apr 3, 2008)

This is one of the best threads I've read here at RIU....Great info


----------



## 40acres (Apr 3, 2008)

Let me also mention that the guy I have posted up came in before I was born for the *lowest level felony* you can have. Before I was *BORN*!!


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 3, 2008)

I just want to explain something, now im not trying to prove im 
a tough guy, but there is a common misconception that smaller guys
are weaker.

That is not true, to prove my point.

Power lifting keeps inmates occupied at Branchville : Local Sports : Evansville Courier Press

One guy here is 150 pounds and can squat 435, that is 2x-3x his body weight.

Having bigger muscle doesn't mean your stronger, just take a look at powerlifters and compare them to bodybuilders.

Though powerlifters are big too, except most of them have no where near
the muscle mass of a bodybuilder.

I'm a small guy yes, but i hate when people always think the biggest guy is the strongest, cause he is simply big.

Of course anybody will go down if they are jumped by 3 or more people,
unless they run.

My point just because someone is bigger doesn't mean they are always stronger, but can they get stronger then smaller guys, yes but there is also genetics to take into account.

Actually i took this the wrong way, a better way to put it is smaller guys are not always weaker.


----------



## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

40acres said:


> the thing with the white boys is that they don't alsmost automatically clique up like the mexicans and blacks do.


That's good to know. It might sound odd, but I've always worried about that. There's just no way I'm signing up with Aryans. Or even scrapping to defend one. The might not be real Nazis, but it's close enough for me. And every documentary I've seen seems to suggest that you _must_ join one of the major gangs in the prison systems that are dominated by them. 

What do the Russians do, by the way? (If anyone has a Russian community near them?) I don't see them getting along with the Aryans. 

Supposedly in SoCal they straight up ask you which gang you want to be housed with at intake, although that might be an urban legend. 

Do people really all feel that there's no advantage to being able to speak fluent Spanish when you're not Latino? Seems like it might help. Speaking to someone in their own language can change their reaction to you....





> Kansas Department of Corrections
> 
> Here is one of them....


That dude is a goddamn tree trunk. So we can assume that's just what he got written up for, right?

Do you want to say anything about jobs, or how black market trades work? I understand they're both pretty important.


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## email468 (Apr 3, 2008)

Miracle Smoke said:


> I just want to explain something, now im not trying to prove im
> a tough guy, but there is a common misconception that smaller guys
> are weaker.
> 
> ...


sorry for the off-topic but ... being a "big guy" myself i completely agree. often folks like to target the "big guy" to prove something. i would much prefer to duke it out with someone with a similar build as mine rather than scrap with a wiry little dude! Think pit bull (smaller and wiry) vs. rottie (big and strong) - you can't really count either one out until it is over!


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## email468 (Apr 3, 2008)

Maccabee said:


> That's good to know. It might sound odd, but I've always worried about that. There's just no way I'm signing up with Aryans. Or even scrapping to defend one. The might not be real Nazis, but it's close enough for me. And every documentary I've seen seems to suggest that you _must_ join one of the major gangs in the prison systems that are dominated by them.
> 
> What do the Russians do, by the way? (If anyone has a Russian community near them?) I don't see them getting along with the Aryans.
> 
> ...


Personally i would tattoo a swastika with "NAZI 4-ever" on my ass if that's what it took to protect it


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## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

email468 said:


> Personally i would tattoo a swastika with "NAZI 4-ever" on my ass if that's what it took to protect it


You wouldn't if half of your family had died in Auschwitz. 

But I hear what you're saying.


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## email468 (Apr 3, 2008)

Maccabee said:


> You wouldn't if half of your family had died in Auschwitz.
> 
> But I hear what you're saying.


you're probably right - i wouldn't but they didn't and i would.


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Apr 3, 2008)

Just do your time man , Easy as that , 

You,ll eather come out a man OR woman 

haha


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## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

ha. ha. 'Cause prison rape is _hilarious_.


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## Miracle Smoke (Apr 3, 2008)

Maccabee said:


> ha. ha. 'Cause prison rape is _hilarious_.


Thats sad though as this seriously can affect those who were 
victims you know.

But other than that do you think they have no one but them
selves to blame?

I was watching san quentin last night on natgeo, and one of the white guys
said its how you carry yourself.

None mentioned rape though, they all talked about stabbing, for
one minute though, one of them were talking about leaving a
number 2 pencil in a guy and i thought that was metaphor for
rape.


----------



## shortybighead (Apr 3, 2008)

nah i seen it they was talkin bout scott peterson being a trophy hit they said they would stick dude as soon as they put him in the yard with them i couldnt watch all of it though last night was kinky night


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## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

Miracle Smoke said:


> Thats sad though as this seriously can affect those who were victims you know.


Please read more carefully. That was a sarcastic response to the previous post, not my own sentiment.


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 3, 2008)

Maccabee said:


> Please read more carefully. That was a sarcastic response to the previous post, not my own sentiment.


No i knew it was sarcastic.


----------



## JohnnyBravo (Apr 3, 2008)

email468 said:


> Personally i would tattoo a swastika with &quot;NAZI 4-ever&quot; on my ass if that's what it took to protect it


I would tattoo a cute little baby on my ass.....as pedophiles are taboo,...noone wants to say yeah I fucked that guy with the baby tatoo on his ass


----------



## AristoRaver (Apr 3, 2008)

JohnnyBravo said:


> I would tattoo a cute little baby on my ass.....as pedophiles are taboo,...noone wants to say yeah I fucked that guy with the baby tatoo on his ass


ahahahaha
sorry 
but thats just funny


----------



## 40acres (Apr 3, 2008)

AristoRaver said:


> ahahahaha
> sorry
> but thats just funny


But iit is not true. Pedo's get it bad in every way.


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 3, 2008)

I'd look them in the eye and say,

Have you ever seen a naked man sing O Fortuna?

It that doesn't scare someone, then i don't what crazy is.

I mean come on, who is going to try to rape a guy who is singing this while being raped?

YouTube - Carl Orff - Carmina Burana - O fortuna


----------



## email468 (Apr 3, 2008)

Miracle Smoke said:


> I'd look them in the eye and say,
> 
> Have you ever seen a naked man sing O Fortuna?
> 
> ...


i'm afraid that might only enhance the experience rather than detract from it 

LOVE ORFF btw!


----------



## panhead (Apr 3, 2008)

Miracle Smoke said:


> Thats just disturbing, but honestly are these type of people really
> that desperate to get some ass?
> 
> Or are most of these rapists sexual offenders?


They come from all walks of life,black,brown,white,yellow,burgulars,rapists,thieve's,killers,con men,drug addicts,there's no rhyme or reason as to who these guys are or what their in for,the common denominator with all of them is they act like thugs,wanna be OG's,usually very obnoxious people in the way they present themselves & the way they approach others,always trying to front.

Pedophiles in prison are normally quite people.

We all know how a thug acts with their standard in your face bullshit,once you show any sign of weakness its their cue to take it to the next level.


----------



## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

> I mean come on, who is going to try to rape a guy who is singing this while being raped?


That depends how many octaves your voice rises during the 'performance'......

O FORTUNAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....


Seriously, though, that shit is not going to work. If your _attacker_ doesn't like the noises you're making while he _rapes_ you, he'll just knock your fucking teeth out. In for a pound, in for a penny. Prison is not the Dead Poets Society. Inmates are not secretly renaissance men who are going to be impressed by your audacity and _elan_. You don't get to make a CHA+INT saving throw.


----------



## Miracle Smoke (Apr 3, 2008)

Maccabee said:


> That depends how many octaves your voice rises during the 'performance'......
> 
> O FORTUNAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII....
> 
> ...


You thought i was being serious? 

I was being sarcastic too.


----------



## panhead (Apr 3, 2008)

Maccabee said:


> This is the shit that freaks me out, right here. I'm 5'11", 175#. I have a feeling that's kinda small for jail/prison. I look younger than I am. I'm not a pretty boy, but I have a chiseled face. I'm slim, not very hairy, etc.
> 
> And around here, in SoCal, I've got a feeling the situation could be fairly dire....
> 
> ...


I cant speak for federal prisons as i was never in one, but i was in both the prisons in the video clips,both MR (gladiator school) & Jackson which is the largest walled prison in the United States,both places are real fucked up but in Jackson you can have somewhat a normal life,in MR its a fucking circus 24/7 & you never know whats gonna happen,all time there is hard time no matter who you are.

Like i said each man has to do his own time,it can go smoothly or very hard,its all about who you are & how you carry yourself, & if your able to really defend yourself & know when to do it,the first 90 days are the hardest,your put in whats called quarintine as soon as you get there,then after 30 days your put in general population,now your the new guy,everybody is looking at you,the thugs are looking for marks to squeeze,the rapists are looking for sissies to trick & the normal guys are looking at you because your new,everybody in the place is looking at you.

One thing i can tell you,if you went in & looked down upon, or in any small way disrespected The Brotherhood ,Muslims or any other set you'll be an instant target,the white set's will not give a shit less about you being jewish or any holocaust related issues,inside the prison's i was at either your part of a set or your a number, there is no in between.

As for paying a set for protection,that would be the worst thing anybody could ever do,just asking to be protected makes you that set's property,they will bleed you dry & take everything you have,talk to you like shit & threaten in front of the population so everybody will know whats up,your family will never be able to meet the ever increasing demands they will put on them & your life would be hell.

Learning spanish would be a waste of time,in real life out on the street the Spanish or Mexican community is a very tight nit group,they tend to stick to their own for the most part,inside its even worse.

It's a fucked up scene & it's different where ever you go,there is no real way to prepare except to have several people in your family be aware that they will need to bring you real money on visit day.


----------



## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

Miracle Smoke said:


> You thought i was being serious?
> 
> I was being sarcastic too.


Heh. OK, now we're even


----------



## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

panhead said:


> Like i said each man has to do his own time,it can go smoothly or very hard,its all about who you are & how you carry yourself, & if your able to really defend yourself & know when to do it


Figuring that shit out, I'd imagine, would be the hard part for me. 



> One thing i can tell you,if you went in & looked down upon, or in any small way disrespected The Brotherhood ,Muslims or any other set you'll be an instant target,the white set's will not give a shit less about you being jewish or any holocaust related issues,inside the prison's i was at either your part of a set or your a number, there is no in between.


Nah, I've got no problem with the Brotherhood or the Muslims. They bother me less than the Aryans, that's what I'm saying. I don't think I could bring myself to join a neo-Nazi gang. 



> As for paying a set for protection,that would be the worst thing anybody could ever do,just asking to be protected makes you that set's property,they will bleed you dry & take everything you have,talk to you like shit & threaten in front of the population so everybody will know whats up,your family will never be able to meet the ever increasing demands they will put on them & your life would be hell.


That's about what I figured. 



> Learning spanish would be a waste of time,in real life out on the street the Spanish or Mexican community is a very tight nit group,they tend to stick to their own for the most part,inside its even worse.


Well, I know some Spanish and some scary looking motherfuckers have lightened up a little in the past when I've used it. And it might be useful just to understand what is said around you? But those are more individual situations, I guess. I would make sense for street groups and prison sets to be different. 



> It's a fucked up scene & it's different where ever you go,there is no real way to prepare except to have several people in your family be aware that they will need to bring you real money on visit day.


That's good practical advice. Cool.


----------



## Azgrow (Apr 3, 2008)

well speakin for ab maccabe you couldn't be reconginzed as you have tanited blood in their eyes an would never be accepted...you could be one of our prags but thats as far as it goes....peace az


----------



## 40acres (Apr 3, 2008)

Azgrow said:


> well speakin for ab maccabe you couldn't be reconginzed as you have tanited blood in their eyes an would never be accepted...you could be one of our prags but thats as far as it goes....peace az


I've never heard prag except on OZ.

The brotherhood are the aryans. And for the most part they just hate people inside the prison with them, not jews or gypsies.I wouldnt even tell them and they won't figure it out. Prisons not really all that bad once you get used to it.


----------



## Maccabee (Apr 3, 2008)

40acres said:


> I've never heard prag except on OZ.
> 
> The brotherhood are the aryans.....I wouldnt even tell them and they won't figure it out. Prisons not really all that bad once you get used to it.



Oh, OK. I thought he was referring to another Muslim group I hadn't heard of, named after the old MB that assassinated Gamal Nasser. Duh.

Yeah, then I have a 'problem' with the AB on a cultural level. Not that I'd go looking for trouble, you'd have to be phenomenally stupid. I just can't imagine joining to survive. Good to hear that it's not typically necessary. 

This doesn't really fit under the same heading of survival, but do they place limits on your efforts to fill time? Like, restrict the correspondence courses available to you, prevent you from operating a small business from inside, etc? Maybe it varies from place to place? 

Once you get survival sorted out, there's the time itself. I'd be interested to hear about how people dealt with that too.

EDIT:

This isn't quite on-topic, but I think some of you guys who have been inside might find it interesting. 

Temporary Services: Prisoners' Inventions



> Temporary Services and WhiteWalls *Prisoners' Inventions*. Distributed for WhiteWalls. 119 p., 79 line drawings. 5-1/2 x 8-1/2 2003
> Paper $12.00 ISBN: 978-0-945323-02-0 (ISBN-10: 0-945323-02-6) Fall 2005
> 
> Imagine that your house spans six by nine feet, your mattress is just two inches thick, you are known to your neighbors by an identification number, and items most consider crucial to everyday existence are outlawed. How do inmates in prisons like this throughout the United States make such lives bearable?
> ...




```
[B]TABLE OF CONTENTS[/B]
 Editorial Note 
Introduction 

[I]I. Home Furnishings[/I] 
Pillows 
Cell Door Stops 
Air Vent Covers 
Light Covers 
Work Tables 
Entertainment Center 
Contraband Radio 
Modesty Curtain 
Covered Wagon 

[I]II. Storage[/I] 
Shelves 
Hook Assembly 
Clothing Hanger 
Property Locker Organizers 
Ballpoint Pen Organizers 
Pencil Box 
Color Pencil Organizer 
Sanctuary 

[I]III. Clothing[/I] 
Heating Food with Cell Light 
Stingers (Immersion Heaters) 
Steamer-Cooker 
Hotpot 
Toilet Paper "Bombs" 
Cooking with Toilet Paper "Bombs" 
Using the Cell Property Locker as a Grill 
Cottage Cheese 
Extra Finger 

[I]IV. Dining[/I] 
Eating Off the Floor 
Toilet Paper Mache Cup 
The Tumbler 
Insulated Bag 
Cooling Drinks 
Salt and Pepper Shakers 

[I]V. Personal Maintenance[/I] 
In-Cell Workout Weight 
Doing Laundry 
Clotheslines 
Double-Edged Razor 

[I]VI. Bathing[/I] 
Sink Nozzle 
Shower Nozzle 
Bird Bathing 

[I]VII. Smoking[/I] 
General Information 
Conserving Paper Matches 
Reconditioned Cigarette Lighter 
Battery Cigarette Lighter 
Wicks 
Wick Vent 
Wall Socket Cigarette Lighters 
Electric Cigarette Lighter 
Cigarette Lighter with Water Resister 
Cigarette Lighter 
Candle 

[I]VIII. Recreation[/I] 
Pooling/Flooding 
Prophylactics 
Muff Bag 
Seagull Rocket 
A Fishing Tale 

[I]IX. Gaming[/I] 
Paper Mache Dice 
Dice Table 
Chess Board 

[I]X. Arts & Crafts[/I] 
Tattooing 
Picture Frames 
Palette 
Special Brushes 
Stipple Brushed Portraits 
Card Game 
Glossing Over 
House of Cards 
Hobby Hot Glue Dispenser and Cigarette Lighter 
Christmas Tree 
Coca-Cola Machine 

[I]XI. Little Extras[/I] 
Stationary 
Pets 
Wake-up Alarm 
Speakers/Audio Aids 
External Speaker 
Typewriter Ribbon Slitter 
Mini Lathe
```
I came across this book doing research on the interaction of culture and technology and read it in the library. It really drew me in. The ingenuity that's represented by these devices can be really impressive, as it their variation.


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Apr 4, 2008)

65% of the people on this thread will be someones bitch in jail when there time comes lmao


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## hashtumbler (Apr 4, 2008)

panhead said:


> They come from all walks of life,black,brown,white,yellow,burgulars,rapists,thieve's,killers,con men,drug addicts,there's no rhyme or reason as to who these guys are or what their in for,the common denominator with all of them is they act like thugs,wanna be OG's,usually very obnoxious people in the way they present themselves & the way they approach others,always trying to front.
> 
> Pedophiles in prison are normally quite people.
> 
> We all know how a thug acts with their standard in your face bullshit,once you show any sign of weakness its their cue to take it to the next level.




In my country we call them (paedophiles) nonces, and they are segregated from normal prisoners. Have their own wing with the protection heads (guys that ask for protection off the screws for whatever reason)... nonces don't go into gen population, many that try are quickly found out. I sen a guy beaten half to death for having sex with a 14 year old girl. One time the screws turned their back on the yard while 5 guys beat the shit out of a kiddie fiddler (we call them that too)... he was clinging to the fence screaming for the screws to help. They twitched a couple of times but didn't turn around till the guy had a good beating...

I seen it lots of times... one time this guy was walking around the yard a known jail head usually in for real crime, although this time he was in for fiddling with his disabled sister in the bath. He was walking around the yard and guys would just walk past and punch him... he stand there say what the fuck? but then he'd get hit again by another guy. The whole yard was hissing at him as he eventually got taken off the yard.

We don't stand for rapists either. I remember this big black guy... the blacks didn't want to do it so it was left to the whites. 6 guys got him in the shower and he put up a good fight... even when the screws came to take him to protection he was screaming that he didn't want to go. 

We don't like that shit in my country.


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## ganji2 (Apr 4, 2008)

So, if a guys trying to rape you right? And you kick his ass, and rape him, Would that make him our bitch?


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## hashtumbler (Apr 4, 2008)

ganji2 said:


> So, if a guys trying to rape you right? And you kick his ass, and rape him, Would that make him our bitch?




So you're actually imagining raping another guy?


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## ganji2 (Apr 4, 2008)

No, lol. I knew I would get that response though. Would he be considered a bitch in the eyes of other prisoners?


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## hashtumbler (Apr 4, 2008)

ganji2 said:


> No, lol. I knew I would get that response though. Would he be considered a bitch in the eyes of other prisoners?




Just stick with beating his ass... that should be enough so nobody will fuck with you again. 

fuck man, i'm still laughing about this... is shit really that bad for you guys in the US?

The only places jail rapes happen in my country is in long term prisons... if you serving under 7 years, chances are you'll never get to one of those jails anyway. Sure the guys serving those sentences will pass through... and i been in a lot of times and only heard of a few rapes going down... always cell mate on cell mate, none of this gang shit we watch on the t.v from you guys in the US. A guy that moves like that in my country gets no respect... at least not in the normal jails.


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## ganji2 (Apr 4, 2008)

Yes, I suspect we have harder prisons than in your country.


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Apr 4, 2008)

Any gay sex in are jails usually gets dealt with and they then have to go into the block with all the other sex offenders for there own protection , 
When you do time this side of the pond the the lads in there hate sex offenders and that stuff just wouldent happen ,Thats fcking sick man ... 

Theres a big heroin problem in are jails even thou its not on are streets its in there the all smoke weed and come out addicted to sleeping pills or H , That is all purley through choice thou, 
In are jails there is only 4 different types in there eather from the green side or the orange side , then theres all the hoods , these all just stay togeather and mix with each other to only in there tho 
And Then theres the pervs, sex offenders they dont get to mix with others they do there time alone and get scolded at every chance given 

If you live in the us dont grow weed man


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## hashtumbler (Apr 4, 2008)

Yeah the heroin problem came in when they brought in the piss tests... heroin moves out of the system quicker.

Things was better back in the day. Talking about back in the day, old skool jungle playing on SS radio right now: SS Radio station |

SS


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Apr 4, 2008)

hashtumbler said:


> Yeah the heroin problem came in when they brought in the piss tests... heroin moves out of the system quicker.
> 
> Things was better back in the day. Talking about back in the day, old skool jungle playing on SS radio right now: SS Radio station |
> 
> SS



Haha Some of the old timers swear to me that some of the best raves were in jail later 80,s early 90,s


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## hashtumbler (Apr 4, 2008)

SHOOT2KILL66 said:


> Haha Some of the old timers swear to me that some of the best raves were in jail later 80,s early 90,s




It's the truth... all the good mixes today are remixes of the old tunes...

Junglist Massive---- it's coming back in a big way.

SS


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## JohnnyBravo (Apr 4, 2008)

hashtumbler said:


> So you're actually imagining raping another guy?


LOL.....What are you wearin right now


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## ganji2 (Apr 4, 2008)

^^^^^ Roflcopterz


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## 40acres (Apr 5, 2008)

Prison is not all about rape. There are valuble things to learn there. It is a rich source of first hand knowledge, as well as networking. Alot of you think you know the game and have your hustle down to a science. I can tell you that unless you have done time, you are missing something.
For example, I had a bunky named swelly mack. 45yr old black guy and really intimidating. Ran the Gangster disciples inside. I never once tried to come off as something i wasn't and that went well. I ended up being able to talk to the guy about everything from the CIA to steinbeck. He also schooled me on alot of straight gangster ways. That guy runs the GD out of KC as well and owns stores and bars. I, a white guy from an urban background, am now able to call him at his home when i am in town. Anything i want.
What I am trying to say is that, when you are surrounded by people that have the possibility of helping you, use what you can. There are indubidably people inside that have done what you want to do, and can tell you what you need to know.Fakes don't last long, so it is usually good information. You can also find people of a like mindset as yourself, and they can help you when you get out.
I came away from prison thinking of it as a basic training ground for the encouragable. It will change you.


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## 40acres (Apr 5, 2008)

I'd also like to point out the way you can tell someone who has been inside. they will eat hunched over their food like someone is about to try to steal it from them. Arms out around it. I also somehow changed the way i hold my fork. My wife tells me I hold it as if i am about to either shovel something or stab someone. 
The funny part is i don't remember ever not holding my fork like that now, and don't feel as if I am hunched over my food, but i see it in other people.


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## jhandcock78 (Apr 5, 2008)

Cheese x Kush said:


> My advice is keep any bottle corks they might just save your asses Virginity


 Negative! If you give them a reason to want it they will get it. That cork will be residing somewheres south of your lower intestine. From my experience all I can say do your own time and mind your own business. Never look for trouble but never back down from it.


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## passking (Apr 5, 2008)

Heres a typical day in a Parachute Regiment jail

0400.Get up...clean the cell...make a bed block...hook the bed to the wall.Wash shave.

0415.Stand to attention and wait for the cell to be inspected.

0430.Go for a ten mile run in battle dress with a fourty pound bergan (with wire straps on the shoulders) and old metal helmet without an inside...accompanied by a provo corporal.
The ten mile run is interspersed with forward rolls...battle crawls...running on the spot...sit ups....press ups....the length and quantity decided on by the corporal and wether he is a cunt or not.

0600.Quick march over to cookhouse for breakfast...marking time while you eat standing up.(marking time is marching on the spot)

0615.Back to cell to boot polish the cell floor and shine the cell dustbin.

0800.Clean out the jailhouse and all the un occupied cells.

0930.Quick march onto parade ground to pick up leaves...dog ends...twigs...bits of grit until 1030 hours where you get a mug of tea to drink.(1030 is a sacred tea drinking time in the British army...anywhere in the world...at 1030 the British army stops)...carry on picking until..

1300.Quick march over to the mess to eat dinner standing up and marking time.

1330.Out again for a ten mile run in battle dress without bergan but with a wombat anti tank round....following same procedure as the morning...squats...etc.
This run is a killer as you want to throw up all the food youve just crammed in.

1500.Paint anything that needs painting...or clean up the oil in the MT platoons garage...or weed the COs garden etc.

1800.March to cookhouse for tea...eaten standing up marking time.

1830.Over to jailhouse to wash and shower.

1700.Clean all your kit and iron it.Bull your boots so they look like mirrors.Bull the provo sergeants boots...provo corporals boots so they look like mirrors...clean the provo sergeants car.....clean the windows of the jailhouse with cold water and newspaper.

2000.Clean and oil all the weapons in the provo armoury.

2200.Cell inspection.

2230.Unhook the bed from the wall and make the bed...fold up all your clothes.

2300.Time for bed....if the provo staff are ok...they might give you a fag that you can smoke if nobodys about.

2330.Collapse into sleep.

0400. start again


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## 40acres (Apr 5, 2008)

passking said:


> Heres a typical day in a Parachute Regiment jail
> 
> 0400.Get up...clean the cell...make a bed block...hook the bed to the wall.Wash shave.
> 
> ...


never get court martialed in england.


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## mattao21 (Apr 5, 2008)

some good info there peoples, lol im just glad im in australia....our prisons arn't so bad here (got a few mates in already and know countless others who have been) i would like to think i'd go alright on the inside but i think my short fuze would get me into to much trouble....so i'll keep to being a good boy


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## JohnnyBravo (Apr 6, 2008)

I've got a short fuse as well...As long as I'm bigger than you!....But if your bigger than me, I'm like....Seriously Dude, you better bring my girlfriend back when your done with her


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Apr 6, 2008)

jhandcock78 said:


> Negative! If you give them a reason to want it they will get it. That cork will be residing somewheres south of your lower intestine. From my experience all I can say do your own time and mind your own business. Never look for trouble but never back down from it.


 I love when people make up a new name just to single post something so interesting, it just makes my day man...shoot lol


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## Picasso345 (Apr 7, 2008)

I don't know if it has been mentioned, but there is a book out there too. I haven't read it so no review from me.

Amazon.com: Behind Bars: Surviving Prison: Jeffrey Ian Ross,Stephen C. Richards: Books
In the 1960s, peace groups issued leaflets to their members on what to do if arrested during nonviolent demonstrations. Now two criminologists have come up with a guidebook on surviving the criminal justice system that is loosely modeled after these earlier leaflets. The crimes have expanded to include far more weighty ones than civil disobedience. Ross and Richards (coauthors, Convict Criminogy) offer advice on what to do if your front door is bashed in by police in a drug bust and how to avoid fatal legal mistakes. Writing in sections under topical headings, the authors follow an anonymous everyman (or woman) through an arrest, a trial, and an incarceration. The legal system they depict bears no resemblance to the one in school textbooks. It is the enemy. The authors describe different types of prisons and suggest how to deal with the correctional officers, the other inmates, and various types of discipline. Finally, they discuss making parole and returning to life on the outside. An appendix offers a glossary of prison slang and a statement about the status of prisons in America today. Overall, this is an absorbing, original book that should be required reading for criminal justice classes. Ostensibly intended for the person who is caught committing the crime, in reality Behind Bars gives the outsider an in-depth look at what it is like to be in prison in America today. Highly recommended for all libraries.
_Frances Sandiford, formerly with Green Haven Correctional Facility Lib., Stormville, NY_


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## panhead (Apr 7, 2008)

JohnnyBravo said:


> I've got a short fuse as well...As long as I'm bigger than you!....But if your bigger than me, I'm like....Seriously Dude, you better bring my girlfriend back when your done with her


Your a silly dude,if i ever get your way were hanging out at the clubs dammitt,my treat.


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## JohnnyBravo (Apr 7, 2008)

panhead said:


> Your a silly dude,if i ever get your way were hanging out at the clubs dammitt,my treat.


Strip Clubs.....Your treat.....I'm ready When you are


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## AwesomeDave (Apr 9, 2008)

this thread has really got me scared now...Im 6,8" with a taijutsu background so I can hurt people if I want to, but the atmosphere that you guys describe in this thread would fucking kill me. I also have some health problems that show up every now and then.....thank god I only grow for personal use, and in very limited amounts.


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## 40acres (Apr 9, 2008)

it is hard to get used to being in a predatory enviroment after living where you have never really had to. A real shock for some people.


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## el1 (Apr 9, 2008)

mrskitz said:


> ive been inside for a year,and it really aint that bad,but i live in the uk,,prison in the states is different,theres much more politics involved,with gangs and racial seperation,,,id hate to do time in the states,,,oh and being rapped in uk prisons is very rare so you dont really need to worry about that,,,i didnt leave with a soar arsehole lol


 
Which prison were you in ? I spent a month in brixton and 5 months in blundeston before being deported.Not really a bad place if you dont get mix up in drugs.Fuck going to prison in america.Fags who rape each other , if you raped somone in a british prison , everyone else would beat the shit out of you for being a fag.


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## el1 (Apr 9, 2008)

I was scared when i first went down ,but after a few days it was just like being in the army. Cept alot less running.

I saw a few cats get their faces slashed up outside my cell for stealing heroin, and i smashed my cell mate over the head with a table for blowing smoke in my face , but he understood and i got my own cell afterwards so it all worked out.


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 16, 2008)

Watch out for anyone being to nice, (rocking you to sleep), keep your haed up, never back down, be aert, Don't play tough guy. keep to yourself, IMO people are or act weak because they don't wan't to get hurt. Keep in your head the worst that could happen is death, Come to peace with death and know your day is already set, do what you need to do to survive. I've never done hard time but these lessons helped me and maybe someone on here will find them useful.


p.s god is stronger than any prison gang, rapist, faggot etc.


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## el1 (Apr 16, 2008)

Isthisyourspecialbush said:


> Watch out for anyone being to nice, (rocking you to sleep), keep your haed up, never back down, be aert, Don't play tough guy. keep to yourself, IMO people are or act weak because they don't wan't to get hurt. Keep in your head the worst that could happen is death, Come to peace with death and know your day is already set, do what you need to do to survive. I've never done hard time but these lessons helped me and maybe someone on here will find them useful.
> 
> 
> p.s god is stronger than any prison gang, rapist, faggot etc.


If youve never done hard time how the fuck did those lessons help you?


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## 40acres (Apr 16, 2008)

Isthisyourspecialbush said:


> Watch out for anyone being to nice, (rocking you to sleep), keep your haed up, never back down, be aert, Don't play tough guy. keep to yourself, IMO people are or act weak because they don't wan't to get hurt. Keep in your head the worst that could happen is death, Come to peace with death and know your day is already set, do what you need to do to survive. I've never done hard time but these lessons helped me and maybe someone on here will find them useful.
> 
> 
> p.s god is stronger than any prison gang, rapist, faggot etc.


 
I don't even know where to start with this. First, fred phelps, who are you tao call anyone a faggot?
Second, What are you a samurai doing bushido? All that come to grips with death bullshit id for movies and whackjobs. People that think they are conan get stabbed in the back. Where did you learn these lessons and how did they help you?
All the child molestors turn to jesus when they get inside. Turn to God if you want everyone to think you are a snitch or a child molestor. If you were scared and neede dgod, You shoud have taken your ass to church instead of going to prison.


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 16, 2008)

40acres said:


> I don't even know where to start with this. First, fred phelps, who are you tao call anyone a faggot?
> Second, What are you a samurai doing bushido? All that come to grips with death bullshit id for movies and whackjobs. People that think they are conan get stabbed in the back. Where did you learn these lessons and how did they help you?
> All the child molestors turn to jesus when they get inside. Turn to God if you want everyone to think you are a snitch or a child molestor. If you were scared and neede dgod, You shoud have taken your ass to church instead of going to prison.


 
first I don't know who the hel fred phelps is but your reply is ignorant. I'm not saying to turn into a camakazi or nut job but knowing in your own mind the day you die is meant to be allows you to overcome fear. I did not tell anyone to run around screaming about jesus and death etc." Moestors and snitches turn to god" WTF I prayed every morning and before each meal (still do) read the bible daily and was not played for a snitch or perv. All waks turn to reigion wether it be god, buddah or satan. I call fags fags and gays gays I don't discriminate against homosexuals but on the inside there are fags and they are a threat. If you didn't like my thread you should have ignored it but instead you told me to take my ass to church. I'll take church over prison any day maybe you should try it you might be enlightened.


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## 40acres (Apr 16, 2008)

you have no idea what you are talking about. Are ou on the right forum?


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 16, 2008)

40acres said:


> you have no idea what you are talking about. Are ou on the right forum?


No I have no idea what your talking about. And yes I'm on the right forum I have many hobbies and interests. You disagree, no problem I'd still pass a dutch of that mist to ya.


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## korvette1977 (Apr 16, 2008)

If you want to survive you must be able to defend yourself .


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## 40acres (Apr 17, 2008)

Isthisyourspecialbush said:


> No I have no idea what your talking about. And yes I'm on the right forum I have many hobbies and interests. You disagree, no problem I'd still pass a dutch of that mist to ya.


you have no idea what i am taliking about because you are speaking on that which you DON"T KNOW. That is called being POSEUR, and a fake. to even think that you know about something you have never don, is ridiculous and is done by maggots. 


I didnt think highschool allowed you on the 18+sites.


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 17, 2008)

Look I understand your upset for using the word fag. I have no right to judge you and your lifestyle, it's your choice and i'm happy for you. 

And your right i'm a poser I'm actually a 12 year old albanian who likes to get a rise out of people on the net.


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## 40acres (Apr 17, 2008)

i don't care what you are. Please quit posting BS.


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## email468 (Apr 17, 2008)

Isthisyourspecialbush said:


> Look I understand your upset for using the word fag.


you don't have to be gay to be offended by that word. Just as you don't have to be a member of any particular race to be offended by racial slurs. 

Your assumption that the poster is gay because he doesn't like your bigotedness reveals more about you than it does about him.


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 17, 2008)

email468 said:


> you don't have to be gay to be offended by that word. Just as you don't have to be a member of any particular race to be offended by racial slurs.
> 
> Your assumption that the poster is gay because he doesn't like your bigotedness reveals more about you than it does about him.


I was being a smart ass, I simply posted PERSONAL EXPERIENCE that helped and thought it may help some one else. I guess mr acre is the prison master and he knows all. maybe im just a psycho so I'll quit posting "BS "as he put it.


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## 40acres (Apr 17, 2008)

I didnt say i am not gay because i am not offended by the possibility of being gay. It is what it is. Thanks email.


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## 40acres (Apr 17, 2008)

persoanl experience comes from experience. You stated outright that you have never been in prison, so how is it personal experience?


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 17, 2008)

40acres said:


> persoanl experience comes from experience. You stated outright that you have never been in prison, so how is it personal experience?


I said I have never done hard time. ya and county never been to state or fed so maybe you know more on the subject, But saying my info is BS is BS. I use this site for grow info, came across this thread and thought i'd post if the info isn't usefull just write it off and keep reading. It' peace though Everyone on this site has a lot of good info and I plan to soak up that knowledge rather than arguing or bad mouthijng.


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## 40acres (Apr 17, 2008)

I dont mean to jump on you. the hting is, if you don't know if its good info, you shouldnt pass it on. thats a good way to get other people fucked off. If i got on here and told everyone that i once grew by candlelight and it worked great, when it hadnt, is asking for trouble and hard feelings. No worries bro.


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## email468 (Apr 17, 2008)

Isthisyourspecialbush said:


> I was being a smart ass


Well as an ex-girlfriend used to infuriatingly put it - "being a smart ass is better than being a dumb ass!" - man, that used to piss me off when she said that


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## Isthisyourspecialbush (Apr 17, 2008)

40acres said:


> I dont mean to jump on you. the hting is, if you don't know if its good info, you shouldnt pass it on. thats a good way to get other people fucked off. If i got on here and told everyone that i once grew by candlelight and it worked great, when it hadnt, is asking for trouble and hard feelings. No worries bro.


 
It's cool


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## JohnnyBravo (Apr 17, 2008)

email468 said:


> Well as an ex-girlfriend used to infuriatingly put it - "being a smart ass is better than being a dumb ass!" - man, that used to piss me off when she said that


I'll asuume that she was calling herself the smartass and you......well.....LOL


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## 40acres (Apr 17, 2008)

Email, you always seem so put together. I really admire you for that. if i could rep you I would.


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## email468 (Apr 17, 2008)

JohnnyBravo said:


> I'll asuume that she was calling herself the smartass and you......well.....LOL


oh you know it!


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## email468 (Apr 17, 2008)

40acres said:


> Email, you always seem so put together. I really admire you for that. if i could rep you I would.


thanks for the nice compliment! it is easier to put it together when i remain emotionally detached. it is when i get emotional i start losing my ability to reason and think critically - just like everyone else


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## Skate Hawaii (Apr 22, 2008)

watch my name is earl


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## Arkanin (Apr 28, 2008)

This is a very useful thread, mostly due to 40acres' comments, good job.

There are like 7-9 prison rape jokes in this thread, though, maybe more. Are you guys that fucking dumb?


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## sunman79 (Apr 28, 2008)

i got nailed with possesion of a controlled substance w intent to distribute. my first charge was 1st degree trafficing. i was transproting 16.25 lbs from the southwest to the northeast. i got busted in the show me state! with a ton of money to a lawyer i got it reduced to the possesion charge and from 10-25years to 5-15 years. the prosicuter offered me 7 years. so i ened up spending 1year in a state prison in a state i didnt even know. i got out with $7000 in fines and 5 years paper. i finnaly walk off the paper in febuary. prison sucked but i made it through. my best advice is keep your back to the wall. dont get involved in others shit. keep your own council.<only have a couple of friends. i did fine. i only got in 1 fight and spent a little time in the hole. i excersied and read a lot. i stood my ground when i had to and never backed down.


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## AlphaNoN (Apr 28, 2008)

Arkanin said:


> This is a very useful thread, mostly due to 40acres' comments, good job.
> 
> There are like 7-9 prison rape jokes in this thread, though, maybe more. Are you guys that fucking dumb?


Hope I'm not stepping on a land mine here (I only read about half of this long ass thread), but I feel qualified to chime in on that note; most of the sex going on in prison is consensual, prison rape is something of a myth that occasionally gets reinforced by people who stepped on the wrong toes. Most inmates won't take what they can get for free.


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## korvette1977 (Apr 28, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> i got nailed with possesion of a controlled substance w intent to distribute. my first charge was 1st degree trafficing. i was transproting 16.25 lbs from the southwest to the northeast. i got busted in the show me state! with a ton of money to a lawyer i got it reduced to the possesion charge and from 10-25years to 5-15 years. the prosicuter offered me 7 years. so i ened up spending 1year in a state prison in a state i didnt even know. i got out with $7000 in fines and 5 years paper. i finnaly walk off the paper in febuary. prison sucked but i made it through. my best advice is keep your back to the wall. dont get involved in others shit. keep your own council.<only have a couple of friends. i did fine. i only got in 1 fight and spent a little time in the hole. i excersied and read a lot. i stood my ground when i had to and never backed down.



Great advice .. and if you dont fight , you will be someones bitch.. and then who knows you might have to toss some salad 

YouTube - tossed salad man


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## korvette1977 (Apr 28, 2008)

or as chris rock explains it ..
YouTube - Chris Rock Tossed Salad


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## lonestarbudd (Apr 28, 2008)

all i gotta say is dont talk, dont talk back, but fight if you have to. dont let anyone in there treat you like a bitch.


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## sunman79 (Apr 28, 2008)

korvette1977 said:


> Great advice .. and if you dont fight , you will be someones bitch.. and then who knows you might have to toss some salad
> 
> YouTube - tossed salad man


ive seen so many people get punked like that. if they would have stood thier ground they would have been fine. mostly it was the people who would not shut up and acted like they were the hardest shit on the yard. it was actually funny to see some of these people talk so much shit then see them with lipstick on getting pimped for a can of kite and 2 bags of top.


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## korvette1977 (Apr 28, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> ive seen so many people get punked like that. if they would have stood thier ground they would have been fine. mostly it was the people who would not shut up and acted like they were the hardest shit on the yard. it was actually funny to see some of these people talk so much shit then see them with lipstick on getting pimped for a can of kite and 2 bags of top.



Call them Maytag. I never did any "real" time .. I did 44 days for evading and eluding and did county time (its like a country club compared to most) only thing that really sucked was that you could not smoke in the county jail. State jail you could , but who wants to go there ..


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## Stoney McFried (Apr 28, 2008)

My older brother was in prison for 17 years...but not for drugs...anyway, he once told me of a man who smeared shit all over himself and never wiped the whole time in the joint. Extreme, perhaps, but noone raped him. Also....never, ever, ever narc. And baby rapers are fair game. QUOTE Whatever I put into my own body is my business. However, that being said, I never put anything illegal into my body, you fascist government bastards who may be reading this. QUOTE


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## panhead (Apr 28, 2008)

Stoney McFried said:


> My older brother was in prison for 17 years...but not for drugs...anyway, he once told me of a man who smeared shit all over himself and never wiped the whole time in the joint. Extreme, perhaps, but noone raped him.


FUCK  !

Just reading your post made my ass raw as hell,that guy's corn hole had to hurt like hell,not to mention stink like a son of a bitch,the places i was in guys that were filthy stinkin bastards got bashed.


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## Stoney McFried (Apr 28, 2008)

panhead said:


> FUCK  !
> 
> Just reading your post made my ass raw as hell,that guy's corn hole had to hurt like hell,not to mention stink like a son of a bitch,the places i was in guys that were filthy stinkin bastards got bashed.


 Yeah, I often wondered if he had to use a ton of cornstarch....musta been chafed as hell.


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## sunman79 (Apr 28, 2008)

panhead said:


> FUCK  !
> 
> Just reading your post made my ass raw as hell,that guy's corn hole had to hurt like hell,not to mention stink like a son of a bitch,the places i was in guys that were filthy stinkin bastards got bashed.


people who stank ...we made this one guy wash his feet with straight bleach we got from matainence, everyday. his feet were f**ked. rash everywhere. he'd cry when we poured it on. i feel bad now but if your not doing somethin to someone people tend to make you a target.


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## WeFallToday (Apr 28, 2008)

I never went to jail but i have been in juvie [glad i was 16..]

It's very simple

You don't have to be competly anti-social just know your place

It doesn't matter if your the biggest guy there,never ever dis-respect someone
It will come back to haunt you.


I did 9 month's in juvie and as far as trouble with other people i never had any,and it's not because im a big guy [im small as fuck]

Show respect,don't get into anyone's business,stay out of the drama,you can talk to other people,but only if they want you around them





Edit:

Also,don't ever get punked out for anything though,no matter how small the dispute is,if you ever back down you will end up being someone's bitch



My uncle is in prison for 4 years, when he was on the top of one of the building's cleaning[i think he was cleaning]

A guard was up there with him,and another inmate came up and tried to rape him,they got in a fight and my uncle threw him off the building.He was going to get life for it,but the guard finally came up and told them it was in self defence



need'less to say....no one has every crossed paths with him again


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## sunman79 (Apr 28, 2008)

WeFallToday said:


> I never went to jail but i have been in juvie [glad i was 16..]
> 
> It's very simple
> 
> ...


i know the feeling. i did 23 1/2 months in juvy. i would have only spent a year but i excaped and was out for 3 weeks before they caught me.


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## ganji2 (Apr 28, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> i know the feeling. i did 23 1/2 months in juvy. i would have only spent a year but i excaped and was out for 3 weeks before they caught me.


You're full of shit. I did 2 years in TYC, and we had two escapes. Both guys got felonies and were tried as adults. They had to finish up in TDC.


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## Stoney McFried (Apr 29, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> people who stank ...we made this one guy wash his feet with straight bleach we got from matainence, everyday. his feet were f**ked. rash everywhere. he'd cry when we poured it on. i feel bad now but if your not doing somethin to someone people tend to make you a target.


I use straight bleach on my feet in the summer to cure athletes foot...it doesnt hurt if theyre not cracked and even then it isnt bad...maybe he was allergic or he just didnt want you to hurt him worse.


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## sunman79 (Apr 29, 2008)

ganji2 said:


> You're full of shit. I did 2 years in TYC, and we had two escapes. Both guys got felonies and were tried as adults. They had to finish up in TDC.


it wasnt a youth prison. it was more like a ranch. just alarmed doors. there wasnt even a fence. and this was in idaho so i dont know what tdc is. so before you shoot off what you know or may not know see whats real, bro. the place i went to didnt hold a sentence. you had to work your way out. so if you had 6 months of time and you were 14 and all you did is fight and screw off then you could stay till you were 21. no cells with a shitter in the corner. more like 12 goups and positive peer culture shit.


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## sunman79 (Apr 29, 2008)

Stoney McFried said:


> I use straight bleach on my feet in the summer to cure athletes foot...it doesnt hurt if theyre not cracked and even then it isnt bad...maybe he was allergic or he just didnt want you to hurt him worse.


the dude didnt shower for like a week or so till he got real ripe.. plus he had to scrub it in. i would never put bleach onmy feet for athaletes feet. if you have that are'nt your feet already dry and cracked??? i dont know about you but just cleaning with bleach burns my eyes not to metion if im not wearing gloves, then i get a rash on my hads . how much did you use on your feet? did you dilute it? ?did it cure it? if you piss on your feet its supose to cure it.


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## WeFallToday (Apr 29, 2008)

Lol i remember shower time in juvie [and job core]
All one big room with shower heads at the cieling..damn i was so scared

But after alittle while you get used to the routine.when i was in,i saw the worse fights/shankings in there...i def made sure i didnt piss anyone off when i went to the showers


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## Token (Apr 30, 2008)

This is most likely off topic but had to tell someone, One of my brothers that is locked up just got sentenced to 63months in Fed he's got 21monts severed, my older brother is still waiting to be sentence he might get an automatic ten years for being a career criminal, but it could have been really bad for them do to they could have gotten 25 to life, so I'm happy that in 3 years I'll get to see one of my brothers again.


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## Stoney McFried (May 1, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> the dude didnt shower for like a week or so till he got real ripe.. plus he had to scrub it in. i would never put bleach onmy feet for athaletes feet. if you have that are'nt your feet already dry and cracked??? i dont know about you but just cleaning with bleach burns my eyes not to metion if im not wearing gloves, then i get a rash on my hads . how much did you use on your feet? did you dilute it? ?did it cure it? if you piss on your feet its supose to cure it.


 Yes, bleach cures athletes foot...maybe I'm just made outta cast iron cuz ive been using it for years to clean and kill germs. If youre sensitve, get a pan of water big enough for both feet, and try a cup of bleach in it for like...i dunno...2 gallons water. Swish your feet, get it in between your toes and try to keep em in for five minutes. I do this to myself with straight bleach at the first sign of athletes foot. Youre going to notice an oilyness coming from your feet...Im not sure what this is but I always assumed it was the fungus...if you can stand more bleach use more. Then rinse, dry thoroughly ans DONT SCRATCH. Keep it up for about a week if needed. BTW, I'm a girl and it doesnt hurt me..and I have pale irish type skin lol.


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## 40acres (May 1, 2008)

WeFallToday said:


> Lol i remember shower time in juvie [and job core]
> All one big room with shower heads at the cieling..damn i was so scared
> 
> But after alittle while you get used to the routine.when i was in,i saw the worse fights/shankings in there...i def made sure i didnt piss anyone off when i went to the showers


you get over the shower issues real quick unless you want to be dusty.If you don't go in, everyone knows you are scared. That can be just as bad or worse than going in bravely.


I hope noone took your mangina


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## ganji2 (May 5, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> it wasnt a youth prison. it was more like a ranch. just alarmed doors. there wasnt even a fence. and this was in idaho so i dont know what tdc is. so before you shoot off what you know or may not know see whats real, bro. the place i went to didnt hold a sentence. you had to work your way out. so if you had 6 months of time and you were 14 and all you did is fight and screw off then you could stay till you were 21. no cells with a shitter in the corner. more like 12 goups and positive peer culture shit.



Sorry about that. I thought you juvy, which has always meant a cell with a shitter in the corner. I was in state juvy though, and they did carry sentences ( for violent or sexual offenders). You go in with a minimum sentence of 12 months, and if you cause shit, the gaurds beat your ass and with hold your food sometimes as long as 48 hours. Those guys that escaped were only 16, and they went to adult prison.


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## ganji2 (May 5, 2008)

WeFallToday said:


> Lol i remember shower time in juvie [and job core]
> All one big room with shower heads at the cieling..damn i was so scared
> 
> But after alittle while you get used to the routine.when i was in,i saw the worse fights/shankings in there...i def made sure i didnt piss anyone off when i went to the showers


The showers sucked. If you had problems with a couple guys on the dorm, all they had to do is talk to one of the gaurds. When you go to showers it's five people at a time, and those gaurds would put you in there with all the guys who want to beat your ass. lol, People sliding around and shit trying to fight. I seen a guy take a pencil in the neck, and it broke off in his shit.


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## tyeee (May 8, 2008)

Yeah i think this is a great thread....keep the things coming.....keep your nose out of everyone's business, and snitches get stitches.


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## 40acres (May 8, 2008)

Generally people who you know will snitch get wide berth. They just get treated absolutely horrible. I'd hate to be called out everythime i went down a run


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## BudLuvr (Jun 9, 2008)

I like the thread, I too went to prison at 18, served five years. So far everyone sounds right on. NEVER EVER EVER EVER (get it) TALK TO THE POLICE EVER!!!!! They are not your friend, they are NOT NOT NOT trying to "help you out of a tough spot". Don't even think of ratting either, do you think there are no rats in prison? They have their own wing called PC (protective custody). A cop will get first get you to tell on yourself, then on someone else, then they lock your dumbass up anyway....which is what you deserve for being a rat! Your ATTORNEY will handle EVERYTHING, get a good one. Best advice I ever got from an old timer: While things are going good and you have money and freedom, go to a good attorney's office and tell him you would like to put him on retainer, then you make the best investment you ever made for your future. Because as soon as johnny law nabs you up, you tell them you don't need there public pretender(defender), you have your own attorney and he will be answeing you questions. Here are some short bits of wisdom I've learned and heard from others:
1. Never trust anyone in jail, and never tell anyone what you are doing or what you did, even on the outside. (That perfect place you picked to grow isn't perfect when your buddy knows about it and gets drunk and tells somebody else or just gets mad at you and rats you out or rips you off.)
2. Keep your head up inside. (People are looking for a weakness.I don't advocate violence but don't let any one ever take anything from you, or its will be open season.)
3. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. (Works in any situation, survival, court /probation hearings. If you are mentally prepared, then you are mentally tough.
4. When you are down and out or in jail you find out who your friends are. (Don't be surprised when the only people you here from are family. They are often the only people in the world that care about you. I thought I had a lot of friends, turns out that no one wants to visit your criminal ass in jail, and a lot off people aren't your friends, just like to smoke with you or hang out when times are good.)
5. Jail food is awful, and you don't get much. So after you retain your lawyer, put back a little money to get some commissary when you go to jail.
6. Nothing in jail is free, and don't trust people when they are nice to you. Don't cuss them out or anything, just be weary.
7. When you get locked up, don't get too depressed, someone has it worse off than you. I thought five years was a long time, but there are people who are never going to get out of prison alive.
8. Study the law. Now and especially when you get locked up. (I was able to get myself some additional jail credit that actually shortened my stay.)
That's all I could think of for now, I'll think of some more after another bowl.
Be safe out there everyone!


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## Mescaline (Jun 23, 2008)

I went through the whole thread. One important question of all...how do you get your weed safety without getting raped or doing gang-related stuff. 


and secondly, how can you even smoke weed in jail? I'm guessing you mix tobacco with weed in cigarettes and smoke them on the yard. 


Gonna have this kind of answers on weed forum. 


Um and what happen to disabilities people? Such as blind or deaf people, or people in the wheel chair. How do they do in the prison?


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## IGTHY (Jun 23, 2008)

Let me see..hmmm."How To Survive Prison?" DON'T GO DUH!!! KEEP SMOKE ALIVE!!


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## Dabu (Jun 24, 2008)

Miracle Smoke said:


> I just want to explain something, now im not trying to prove im
> a tough guy, but there is a common misconception that smaller guys
> are weaker.
> 
> ...


 
I think I might know one of the guys in your link, lmao. A little too close to home


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## Dabu (Jun 24, 2008)

sunman79 said:


> i got nailed with possesion of a controlled substance w intent to distribute. my first charge was 1st degree trafficing. i was transproting 16.25 lbs from the southwest to the northeast. i got busted in the show me state! with a ton of money to a lawyer i got it reduced to the possesion charge and from 10-25years to 5-15 years. the prosicuter offered me 7 years. so i ened up spending 1year in a state prison in a state i didnt even know. i got out with $7000 in fines and 5 years paper. i finnaly walk off the paper in febuary. prison sucked but i made it through. my best advice is keep your back to the wall. dont get involved in others shit. keep your own council.<only have a couple of friends. i did fine. i only got in 1 fight and spent a little time in the hole. i excersied and read a lot. i stood my ground when i had to and never backed down.


My bagseed is from the show me state. I'm hoping for some dank shit, but knowing my luck it was grown in Mexico.


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## 40acres (Jun 24, 2008)

You just see the guys that got big come back in two weeks strung out on meth and looking like skeletor.


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Jun 27, 2008)

How 2 survive jail ? Easy....... smoke loads of weed , watch tv or play the playstation do some weights , eat all your tuck shop Food that you bought , Or fone your girl friend if your feeling sorry for your self haha 

i dont know what the fuss is 3 meals a day and every thing else ya want i might go in and clear my head for a few months ... unless it was a USA jail fuck that gay interbreeding orgys haha


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## gangjababy (Jun 27, 2008)

playstation in prison? I don't think so!!


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## 40acres (Jun 27, 2008)

SHOOT2KILL66 said:


> How 2 survive jail ? Easy....... smoke loads of weed , watch tv or play the playstation do some weights , eat all your tuck shop Food that you bought , Or fone your girl friend if your feeling sorry for your self haha
> 
> i dont know what the fuss is 3 meals a day and every thing else ya want i might go in and clear my head for a few months ... unless it was a USA jail fuck that gay interbreeding orgys haha


 Are U.S. prisons considerd bad? I thought it was better than say Laos, or cambodia


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Jun 27, 2008)

All jails are bad bro just some easier than others and time in the us looks grim unless your coverd by a gang and that only gets u added on time or else go live in the pedo wing ....its fucked up man id be on the stright and narrow 

the fuckers have dealers selling every thing here coke H weed even moble fones haha

all ya do is get your fav choice of high and back 2 the cell m8s to get high and play video games drink tea and smoke weed all day long ............thats also fucked up hahah 

Its getting that bad here now that people get back into jail so they can get there herion because it not on are streets lol


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## 40acres (Jun 27, 2008)

Ive never seen a playstation in any prison. That would be nice.


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## skiskate (Jun 29, 2008)

40acres said:


> Ive never seen a playstation in any prison. That would be nice.


Ive seen it on the news in canada that some of the guys in solitary have xbox's.


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## Skate Hawaii (Jun 29, 2008)

skiskate said:


> Ive seen it on the news in canada that some of the guys in solitary have xbox's.


crazy. i thought prison was a punishment, the world cares too much about "feelings" now days. although i would really appreciate it if i went to prison and found out that i would be playing games.


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## 40acres (Jun 30, 2008)

SHOOT2KILL66 said:


> All jails are bad bro just some easier than others and time in the us looks grim unless your coverd by a gang and that only gets u added on time or else go live in the pedo wing ....its fucked up man id be on the stright and narrow
> 
> the fuckers have dealers selling every thing here coke H weed even moble fones haha
> 
> ...


 Have you ever been in a U.S. prison?


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## SHOOT2KILL66 (Jul 3, 2008)

They dont just give you a playstation or x box to get on with it haha you use your own money to buy them cd,s ect we have savings in are jails for those things and tuck shop supplys and phone cards the real currency


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## parazit (Jul 3, 2008)

Prisons are bullshit, when i take over the world, i am going to draft everyone! or kill them if they are Hannibal types. Of course the pot heads would be nowhere near punishment because they are militarily useless, but the coke heads, would u like a grenade with that.


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## rw33fh (Jul 5, 2008)

what if you never ever wipe your ass then will the try to fuck?


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## 40acres (Jul 6, 2008)

rw33fh said:


> what if you never ever wipe your ass then will the try to fuck?


 No, but someone will hose you off.


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## roofer (Jul 6, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> Keep your fucking mouth shut...dont be tellin everybody your business....keep quiet listen and they will tell you everything...they all have their own agendas so if you keep quiet you can learn them before they learn you


took the words from my mouth.Peace.


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## roofer (Jul 6, 2008)

l did 6years,all cat B,HMP Hull,Nottm,and releast from Winson Green.As for getting dry raped? If it happens in there,didnt do it,didnt see it,never heard of it.But when you get out.........everybody asks....did you? wat would you say?


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## Joker52 (Jul 6, 2008)

All you have to do is shank the first person who disrespects you. Then, noone will try to fuck with you...in all sences of the word fuck.


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## roofer (Jul 6, 2008)

40acres said:


> Posession of paraphnellia with intent to grow, and 2X obstruction of justice.


paraphenalia?is that usa.fuckers.


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## roofer (Jul 6, 2008)

you made me smile.l can relate.


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## roofer (Jul 6, 2008)

mrskitz said:


> ive been inside for a year,and it really aint that bad,but i live in the uk,,prison in the states is different,theres much more politics involved,with gangs and racial seperation,,,id hate to do time in the states,,,oh and being rapped in uk prisons is very rare so you dont really need to worry about that,,,i didnt leave with a soar arsehole lol


ye,l did a 6y hull nottm winson ,cat B all the way.never got dry raped,pumped,wat ever you want to call it.It wasnt an issuse.Maybe in yhe uk its just not so personal.Minde you,ever been to Greece?


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## roofer (Jul 6, 2008)

Joker52 said:


> All you have to do is shank the first person who disrespects you. Then, noone will try to fuck with you...in all sences of the word fuck.


Thats got to be the Judge?(nonce cunt).hes the first fucker that wants you to dress up.Ya, chiv every one.But please remember Pease love and Harmany....


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## Joker52 (Jul 6, 2008)

lol, well you gatta smoke them out after you mortally wound them.


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## High4Life (Jul 7, 2008)

From what ive heard to wank like fuck gets you through the day haha 

I duno about shankin thou why do life for your 6 months original charge 

or just be like me on the long stright and narrow road and you will not have to go

..Remember keep a cork handy incase they bust your house and get u on the street  haha

take it easy girls ..Peace


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## mastakoosh (Jul 7, 2008)

rw33fh said:


> what if you never ever wipe your ass then will the try to fuck?


 then dudes will hold their nose while they fuck.


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## SquirrelGod (Jul 8, 2008)

lol, I just never said a word, (seriously not one) and once you gorge someones eye out with a spoon and spend a month in solitary people quit fucking' with you... Best advice; Show respect, and people will show respect, but don't be afraid to gorge someone's eye out with a spoon when necessary, even when you're small you gain a lot of respect by not letting yourself get punked, and letting people know you ain't no bitch.


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## 40acres (Jul 8, 2008)

SquirrelGod said:


> lol, I just never said a word, (seriously not one) and once you gorge someones eye out with a spoon and spend a month in solitary people quit fucking' with you... Best advice; Show respect, and people will show respect, but don't be afraid to gorge someone's eye out with a spoon when necessary, even when you're small you gain a lot of respect by not letting yourself get punked, and letting people know you ain't no bitch.


 Where did you get utensils strong enough to gorge someones eye out? All i had was plastic sporks. And its gouge.
Have you ever done a month in the hole? I did 45 days twice. And its now a capitol offense to kill someone while incarcerated, so you will get the needle for it. I am taking it for granted that you vnever gorged someones eye out.


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## MoePunn (Jul 8, 2008)

Listen most all of us have been in at one time or another... I did 17 months once, 11 months another time, another 4 months and a whole slew of 1 day, 2 days, 3 days... and I've been in my fair share of fights inside and while there's no way to guarantee a peaceful stay there is a way to minimize the shit that comes your way ... So for all of you planning a trip to the Bermuda triangle I have 9 words of advice for you; 

_*MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS AND SHUT THE FUCK UP*_


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## High4Life (Jul 9, 2008)

Lets just say if u are a collage type boy that likes to know the in,s and outs about computers and science stuff like that , they boys in jail will have a specail place 4 u hahahahaha


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## Token (Jul 9, 2008)

High4Life said:


> Lets just say if u are a collage type boy that likes to know the in,s and outs about computers and science stuff like that , they boys in jail will have a specail place 4 u hahahahaha


bet, I'm what you would call a college boy type (and been put in a cage b4) and I know the ins and outs of being in I know you never take anything from anyone and don't accepted gifts cause you will pay it off some how and I know you will get tested soon after arriving, and don't try and buddy up with someone cause you will be there bitch and don't let anyone if you have any problems like money or what ever find out A brother of mine had a few months and told someone and they asked him to do an op case he had background in it making people speedier he told ol boy no and had to watch his back all cause the guy felt like he was trying to help........... Himself


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## panhead (Jul 9, 2008)

40acres said:


> All i had was plastic sporks.


Dammit,you had to remind me of them fukin things,stupid llil things with the weak ass handel that breaks in soup.

Ever try sawing through a hunk of nutriloaf with one of them funky ass sporks


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## Philly_Buddah (Jul 10, 2008)

Man...I thank god that I never been to prison lmao. Im lucky as fuck though, I did a lot of shit back when I was a kid especially back in High school, nothing really bad though and luckily I only got caught a few times. I did my time in the DH (Juvenile) 2 times and both for under a month. It wasnt bad at all, just boring as fuck but I had 3 of my good friends in there so it was cool lol.

I cant tell u shit about prison..but if I did go here is my game plan: just do my time and show respect to everybody but if someone steps to me I gotta take em out. Im little but I can fight and Im from the hoods in Philly and Cleveland. This prison shit gets me mad though, becuz Im tryin to be peaceful and be nice to everyone and reach a higher level of consciousness but I know if I go to prison Im gonna have to change all of that shit...


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## mahlye (Jul 10, 2008)

if I ever go to prison, that's it. fuck life. I would just stop caring about everything. maybe join the air force once I got out. and I'm a martial artist so if someone tried to start something, even a few people at once, it would be an extremely short fight, as non violent and as quiet as possible.


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## 40acres (Jul 10, 2008)

mahlye said:


> if I ever go to prison, that's it. fuck life. I would just stop caring about everything. maybe join the air force once I got out. and I'm a martial artist so if someone tried to start something, even a few people at once, it would be an extremely short fight, as non violent and as quiet as possible.


 Yeah, its kinda like a boxing ring. They come up, ask you to duel, and then you both show your skills.


Or you get a pot of boiling hair grease thrown on you while you are sleeping. Billy badasses get spotted quick


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## mahlye (Jul 10, 2008)

40acres said:


> Yeah, its kinda like a boxing ring. They come up, ask you to duel, and then you both show your skills.
> 
> 
> Or you get a pot of boiling hair grease thrown on you while you are sleeping. Billy badasses get spotted quick



I wouldn't try to fight, I'd try to avoid any confrontation. I'm just saying, if I had to, I would not try to look powerful. that is when the hair grease will be thrown on me..but what do I know? I've never been


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## 40acres (Jul 10, 2008)

mahlye said:


> I wouldn't try to fight, I'd try to avoid any confrontation. I'm just saying, if I had to, I would not try to look powerful. that is when the hair grease will be thrown on me..but what do I know? I've never been


 That hair grease is a bitch. Also lotion, shaving cream,and anything else that heats up like an oil.


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## mahlye (Jul 10, 2008)

40acres said:


> That hair grease is a bitch. Also lotion, shaving cream,and anything else that heats up like an oil.



wow. how hostile must one be to render cosmetic products as weapons?


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## Token (Jul 10, 2008)

mahlye said:


> if I ever go to prison, that's it. fuck life. I would just stop caring about everything. maybe join the air force once I got out. and I'm a martial artist so if someone tried to start something, even a few people at once, it would be an extremely short fight, as non violent and as quiet as possible.


Dude I would fill bad for your the first night your Celle would put a shite over your torso and hold you down and use a gym sock with a lock r soap r anything with a lot of mass in it and bet you til there's nothing left but a blood spot r the guards come don't go in thinking you've been thought to fight and so you know how, it's way different when someone coming at you with no fear. Or they will all make fun of you calling you FAG (Fake Ass Guy) after being someones bitch, go in set tight and when someone comes at you with disrespect then nut it up and be a man. 

No disrespect I'm sure your a black belt or whatever but even at martial artist fights you all have skills when your not fighting but then you put two of ya'll in the ring and It looks like a girlie fight with one guy hiding from the other fighter til he sees his chance to strike It won't happen like that there it will be a lot of fist thrown and little blocking they won't kick either til your on the ground cause you give up your balance to throw a kick.


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## mahlye (Jul 11, 2008)

Token said:


> Dude I would fill bad for your the first night your Celle would put a shite over your torso and hold you down and use a gym sock with a lock r soap r anything with a lot of mass in it and bet you til there's nothing left but a blood spot r the guards come don't go in thinking you've been thought to fight and so you know how, it's way different when someone coming at you with no fear. Or they will all make fun of you calling you FAG (Fake Ass Guy) after being someones bitch, go in set tight and when someone comes at you with disrespect then nut it up and be a man.
> 
> No disrespect I'm sure your a black belt or whatever but even at martial artist fights you all have skills when your not fighting but then you put two of ya'll in the ring and It looks like a girlie fight with one guy hiding from the other fighter til he sees his chance to strike It won't happen like that there it will be a lot of fist thrown and little blocking they won't kick either til your on the ground cause you give up your balance to throw a kick.



if your saying that I'd get beaten and raped or what not in prison because I am not primitive enough to survive among my jail mates, then you are wrong. you have no idea what my experiences are. I do not even feel the need to further counter this post.


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## 40acres (Jul 11, 2008)

yeah, sometimes youhave to find something to do in the slammer besides ass raping and extortion. I liked wieght lifting


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## mahlye (Jul 11, 2008)

yeah I would do that. I can see myself in prison one day. I have huge problems with authority and completely resent all forms of it. I can see myself doing something radical, but I do not feel comfortable elaborating this on the internet.


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## lexterian (Jul 11, 2008)

Guys,your all scaring the fuck out of me!
Would u go to jail or prison for only growing 15 plants and grinder&papers?


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## High4Life (Jul 11, 2008)

lexterian said:


> Guys,your all scaring the fuck out of me!
> Would u go to jail or prison for only growing 15 plants and grinder&papers?


 
Yea man too right id be shitting bricks too.........

all us only pretend to grow weed or smoke weed this is just play fun 2 us . 

you should read all that advise carfully


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## roofer (Jul 11, 2008)

mahlye said:


> wow. how hostile must one be to render cosmetic products as weapons?


cosmetic comes after,first you get boiling water with sugar,here in the UK.Very sweet.seen that more than the ass thing....


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## Token (Jul 11, 2008)

mahlye said:


> yeah I would do that. I can see myself in prison one day. I have huge problems with authority and completely resent all forms of it. I can see myself doing something radical, but I do not feel comfortable elaborating this on the internet.



Not saying that at all just saying you go in say I know martial arts thats whats going to happen


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## korvette1977 (Jul 11, 2008)

mahlye said:


> if I ever go to prison, that's it. fuck life. I would just stop caring about everything. maybe join the air force once I got out. and I'm a martial artist so if someone tried to start something, even a few people at once, it would be an extremely short fight, as non violent and as quiet as possible.



What a joke ,,Your still a fucking kid .. How much martial arts exp could you have .. You would be passed around for loose cigarettes . Big bad tough guy from East burg..LOL In a real jail your name would be MAYTAG,,, cause you would be doing Bubba's laundry.......


This is the kid who was driving around smashing mailbox's with a ball bat ..


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## Philly_Buddah (Jul 12, 2008)

Im not even gonna lie...if shit goes down in prison and I gotta fight a big ass dude...Im gettin my ass beat bad lol. Im a average height-skinny dude, I can only do so much. I dont know any fuckin martial arts either, and even if I did that shit wont help in there really. Even at DH they were taking socks filled with rocks or some shit and beating this kid, u can imagine how much worse it would be in prison.


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## JimmyPot (Jul 13, 2008)

40 acres how did you get caught?


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## MoePunn (Jul 13, 2008)

Listen fellas U want to survive in prison? I can sum this up in less than 50 words watch; "If ur a pussy & u gotta do sum time, if ur Black become Muslim , White shave ur head, Spanish become a "M or N" otherwise ur fucked & I mean that literally (with 19 words to spare)...


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## B.. (Jul 13, 2008)

unless youve done something completely crazy you are not going to the butt rape center. most prisons are filled with a gang of people who basically fucked up. yeah theres fights and u gotta watch yaself, you definitely can get stabbed and doused with boiling water. but the rape thing only happens in the prisons with the serious crazies. for one nowadays theres so many gays in there that you wouldnt need to rape any one. give that faggot a pack of smokes and youll save yourself the 10 years for an institutional rape charge.

this is what i learned to survive when i was locked..

1 dont walk around like a tough guy, dont be a pansy but dont take no shit..

2 theres a million uses for toothpaste learn them.

3 mind your business,

4 fuck that shit about shaving your head if your white if your black only hang with blacks. unless your in for triple homicide in sing sing or attica and need to be part of a gang, be cool with anyone you can

5 theres more game in prison than nintendo makes dont fall for their shit.

follow those simple rules you should be fine


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## 40acres (Jul 13, 2008)

JimmyPot said:


> 40 acres how did you get caught?


 I was setup.Luckily, i didnt have what they thought i had. Or should of had. THey did take my vw though, and then threw me in a max. it kinda sucked


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## dirtyshawa (Jul 13, 2008)

B.. said:


> unless youve done something completely crazy you are not going to the butt rape center. most prisons are filled with a gang of people who basically fucked up. yeah theres fights and u gotta watch yaself, you definitely can get stabbed and doused with boiling water. but the rape thing only happens in the prisons with the serious crazies. for one nowadays theres so many gays in there that you wouldnt need to rape any one. give that faggot a pack of smokes and youll save yourself the 10 years for an institutional rape charge.
> 
> this is what i learned to survive when i was locked..
> 
> ...



lol, and there you have it. i couldn't of made a better post myself. that's basically all you need to know and you should be fine. two, things i will add is don't show fear and if you think your not physically able to handle yourself then just stab. shit, i feel like i can't be beat and i never lost a fight but, i will still stab the shit out of your ass. fortunately, on my bids i knew sooo many people already locked down it was like a high school reunion. we smoked herb, sipped lean, popped pills, fucked CO's and i mastered every table top game there is. outside of lock downs it felt like a much need vacation from grinding. one benefit of doing a bid is the connections. you have to be careful though but, you should be able to make wayyyy more money and be much smarter about not getting caught when you do dirt. oh, the rape thing happens but, the majority of punks in jail are already gay or they just can't handle being without a woman and try and substitute for it. if you can't holla at a CO just get your girl to send you some flicks and get every mens magazine on the market and you'll be fine.

p.s. do your time and STOP SNITCHING


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## MoePunn (Jul 16, 2008)

_*OMG Ya'll I forgot a BIG 1, Unless you are ready for an all out war with somebody don't ever say "suck my dick" I've seen muthafuckaz get it real bad for that one, its like THE Cardinal Sin in jail... So like my man T.I. says "watch what you say"*_


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## 40acres (Jul 16, 2008)

MoePunn said:


> _*OMG Ya'll I forgot a BIG 1, Unless you are ready for an all out war with somebody don't ever say "suck my dick" I've seen muthafuckaz get it real bad for that one, its like THE Cardinal Sin in jail... So like my man T.I. says "watch what you say"*_


 How about bitch or punk. I have seen people fly at eachother over those


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## B.. (Jul 16, 2008)

i saw a guy get doused with 190 for callin a cripple guy a cripple..

u just gotta watch what u say period


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## Skulks (Jul 19, 2008)

Im not from USA. Youre nicks sound Fing nutz. Ive been in several nicks in Europe, 3 of which were CAT A. My first CAT A I was only 17. Plus a Short Sharp Shock when I was 14.
Ive only every come across 1 arse rape (while on youth remand). It just doesnt go on like it does over there.

Most just wanna do their bird as easily as possible. An arse rapist is a nonce and should be treated as such.




woodsyn2o said:


> 1.mind your own biss.
> 2.find a group you fit in wit.
> 3.keep busy


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## High4Life (Jul 20, 2008)

I Did some bird with my comady hero ronnie barker ... This is what real jails are like people http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=diBApOZeDfg&feature=related


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## mars2penny (Aug 9, 2008)

40acres said:


> I never joined a gang. I was only doing 25 months and did not want to do more.
> Gangs in prison have their role. They are a sort of twisted equilibrium to eachother and the cops. Most prisoners seperate themselves by color and race, with the latinos also going sereno and norteno, and the blacks with their gang from the street.
> Gangs can get you things. Drugs, protection and other stuff. They also make you do things for that help. You hold guns and drugs. You hurt people. You extort. You rape. Things that besides being repugnant, will also get you more time than some weed would. So, unless you are doing real time, stay away.
> I was able to walk a very narrow line inside, because I was an educated white boy that knew the rules and didnt play games. I was there to do my own time and not anyone elses. I also didnt look or talk at the other races or even the total backwoods crackers as if I was any better then them.


What the fuck is this prison 101? ur a joke.


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## VapinGIBB (Aug 22, 2008)

dirtyshawa said:


> p.s. do your time and STOP SNITCHING


THAT IS THE KEY!!!

Best thing I found was try not to disrespect anyone else, and by no means let yourself be disrespected. The only ones that get rapped are the ones that want to. 60% of everyone on the inside (at least in the US that is) are there for some sort of drug related offense, and they will be getting out soon enough, and nobody will want to fuck up there chances of going home.

Just keep your mouth closed and eyes open...


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## Mr. Maryjane (Aug 22, 2008)

Idk, but If I ever go to jail, I'm just gonna take whatever school stuff I can, workout alot, and think about weed. and some shit's going down if anybody tries to fuck my ass


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## whulkamania (Aug 23, 2008)

Also do not drop the soap!.


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## blinkykush (Aug 23, 2008)

dont drop the soap,lol thats what they say anyways


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## whulkamania (Aug 23, 2008)

blinkykush said:


> dont drop the soap,lol thats what they say anyways



Because if you do drop it we will have a French Soap Opera on our hands..............


No Racism to the French........French Men and Women and Hybrids of both are cool people.


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## Mr. Maryjane (Aug 23, 2008)

whulkamania said:


> French Men and Women and Hybrids of both are cool people.


 
opposed to a hybrid of two french women


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## noumenon (Sep 4, 2008)

I was incarcerated for 5 years with the feds. Recently got off of 3 years paper with them. One of the biggest learning experiences in my life. Loving the freedom to blaze up again. Look for those of you who aren't just smokers or silly kids, but actual crusaders that risk your freedom to cultivate, sell to us smokers, etc. Let me drop some wisdom on you so you don't have to learn the way I did. I'm going to start with things to keep you out of prison and or keep you from doing more time than your willing to do. 1)Know the laws of the state you are in and federal law concerning what you are involved in so you know how much time you face if you ever get busted. You should know if you get caught with 98 plants vs. 110 or distributing a quarter vs. an ounce what the punishment will be. Make sure if your doing the crime your willing to do the time. 2)Don't tell anyone $hit about what your doing. If you want to stay out of prison this is the most important rule. Of course those of you who deal or have big gardens and have to involve others say how? Well I don't have the space in this post to go in to detail about how not to. But remember this the least amount of people the better, the least amount those people know the better, the least amount of time they know it the better. 3)Don't flash your goods or money ever. 4)Research what you do. Examples are dealing with smell, heat, light, electric usage or how stings are set up or how they spot plants from the air in outdoor gardens. 5)Don't keep all you eggs in one basket. Meaning plants, product, money, scales should not be kept together when ever possible. 6)No guns at any spot that they can tie you to whether they're legal or not. If you get caught with drugs and guns you will either get a 2 point gun enhancement or a (924c-use of a fire arm in commission of a felony) in the feds the first one will add about 2 years to your sentence the second charge will add 5 years. If you worried about your safety doing what your doing then your f*&king with the wrong people. My advice for protecting residence is a couple of big dogs. 7)Be anonymous whenever possible. This includes internet surfing, using visa gift cards or cash, remailers, fake ids, cars and residences that can't be traced back to you. Don't look the part. Meaning dress like a nerdy office guy drive a clean car. 9)Don't be a dumbf#%k. Meaning don't drive around speeding, high, with broken tail light, a pipe, a gun, etc. ever even when you not making a delivery or transferring plants etc. Also don't be the douche who has people over to look at his plants or throws parties at the grow spot. I shouldn't even have to write this rule, but from the posts I've read some people need it spelled out for them. 10)Know that LE are dirty and will manipulate the system every time. They will count cuttings in the trash as plants, they will lie and cheat to get you. 11)Know what criteria it takes to be charges with conspiracy, an organizer, kingpen, or be charged with running a criminal enterprise and the amount of time they will ram up your arse for those. 12)Consult two attorneys one who's an expert in federal law and one who is an expert in the state you live in, tell him you writing a book or doing research for a paper and ask them everything you want to know. Don't give your real name and pay in cash. Well I'm done for now I could write a whole book. Hope this helps some of you. The only law that I break now only constitutes a misdemeanor ticket were I live so suck it LE.


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## gscanaba (Sep 4, 2008)

watch the movie big stan


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## koolhand77 (Sep 4, 2008)

good thread


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## bicycle racer (Sep 5, 2008)

be a man stand your ground dont be a punk bitch and you will survive prison fine thats as simple as it is


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## Philly_Buddah (Sep 5, 2008)

If a cop told me: 
"You can either go to prison for a month, or have R Kelly piss on you and go free"

I wouldnt hesitate:
"Bring in R Kelly, and tell him to stay away from my eyes"...

"Its better go get pissed on on the outside, than fucked in the butt on the inside"

That is funny yet makes sense. Do whatever you can to stay out of that damn place.


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## koolhand77 (Sep 5, 2008)

I read about half way through this thread last night and got real paranoid. I can't read anymore as I could not sleep. All day just thought about what it would be like all I know man is I don't let anyone treat me or talk down to me on the outside. i'll i would have is self respect and leave your emotions at the door. all who went through this you definetly have stories to tell. Thank you, good luck stay real. peace


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## GrowSpecialist (Sep 5, 2008)

bicycle racer said:


> be a man stand your ground dont be a punk bitch and you will survive prison fine thats as simple as it is


Thats very true... but also, don't take the macho thing too far. Yes, if you act weak, you'll be targeted... but if you act like you're a tough guy, you'll also be targeted. There will be other tough guys who want to find out how tough you really are. Or maybe they will feel threatened by your demeanor and will feel like they should just stab you and eliminate any possible competition.

My advice would be...

1. Don't present yourself as weak

2. Don't present yourself as the toughest motherfucker in the place

3. Don't borrow anything

4. Work out

5. Be respectful to other inmates as well as the guards

6. Keep to yourself and don't talk a lot

7. Don't leave your property unattended (grooming products, clothing etc.)

8. Never back down and don't give anyone part of your meal

9. Stay out of any criminal activity. Find something constructive to do

10. Get plenty of soap on a rope


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## mike357 (Sep 6, 2008)

surviving prison ain't shit, people get you all nervous and worried about it. before i went, i was so nervous about going, but after i got there i saw it really wasn't shit. I thought prison was great compared to sitting in county jail. prison is kind of like high school, if your a dumbass somebody is eventually going to kick your ass (it's like that everywhere). i would like to tell anyone who is going down for their first time not to be so worried, it won't be as bad as everyone makes it out to be. don't buy weed that you can't pay for, don't gamble if you can't pay, and don't run your mouth. peace.


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## bicycle racer (Sep 6, 2008)

oh no i dont mean be a tough guy just be strong and stand your ground if need be win or lose. grow specialist list is basically it if your seen as weak your stay will seem extra long put simply "if you look like food your gonna get eaten"


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## xXThirdManXx (Sep 6, 2008)

My friend was telling me about this book where this guy goes to jail and he basically outlines tricks of the trade he picked up from his experience. Don't remember what it's called though.


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## High4Life (Sep 6, 2008)

What it is you really have to survive is the seconds minutes Hours months . Somtimes years days feel like weeks that is the shit thing .. Best advice i can give is make friends and as many as possible ... stay away from the pricks... do not act like you know every thing it is always better to listen but dont let some nobb score points from you eather but do not act like you cant fight like tyson some 1 will want a pop at ya ... Try and get a laugh going as much as possible even if you have to talk under the door or out the window You need to laugh or you will cry lol .... last 1 try and get a job in there gets you out of the cell longer ...Sounds like the same rules as the out side world


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## noumenon (Sep 6, 2008)

If you read through this thread you will hear different sides from the people who have posted and have actually been incarcerated and all of them are right. In the federal system the prisons are set up by security levels. The highest level prisons in the feds are the USPs (united states penitentiary) and some of the USPs (maximum security) are used for housing the baddest of the bad and it usually takes violence on your record or violence while your locked up to get here. The modern day Alcatraz is the Supermax in Florence, Colorado and that's were they house people like the unibomber, the guy from the Oklahoma bombing, Mafia, Terrorists, etc. I was down with a few guys that had transfered from the FPC (Federal Prison Camp)that is located next to the Supermax and the inmates in the camp do all the work to feed and take care of both the FPC and the USP (Supermax). Certain blocks of the Supermax are made up of cells that are designed to incarcerate the inmates with out need for human contact. The cells are designed where the shower unit is rolled up to the cell and locked in place and then the prisoners door opens and they can enter the shower unit take a shower and then go back in there cell. When it's rec time another unit containing a exercise bike and a pull up bar is slid in front of the cell locked to the cell and then the door is opened and they can exercise for their 30 minutes and then return to their cell. All mail sent to the inmates is open and scanned in and shown on the TV in their cell. At just a little bit lower on the security scale is USP Marion where Jon Gotti had a lengthy stay, Carlos Lehder (George Jungs partner on the movie Blow who owned the island off Panama Blow, George Jung, Pablo Escobar, The Story Behind the Movie "Blow" ), along with many many more of the worlds greatest convicts. After the USPs on the list come the FCIs (Federal Correctional Institution) which are also broken up into several security levels from low, medium, and high. After the FCI lows come the minimum security facilities known as camps known as FPCs (Federal Prison Camps). The camps are the lowest of the low and have more freedoms. Most don't have a fence around them and to be an inmate their you can't usually have violence on your record. Camps are where you go if you are close to getting out or receive a short sentence. A lot of those people who receive short sentences received them because they snitched or committed a small time crime. As your sentence moves along your level drops and you are transfered to a lower security level prison. If you have no violence on your record you eventually make it to a camp. I never had to spend time in a USP because I had no violence on my record. When in the FCIs it's all about respect and staying away from the gangs, owing money, and the COs (correctional officers). When you first enter you keep to yourself slowly judging who are the right people to start hanging with and once you establish some friends you'll blend right in. If you are the type of person who talks loud, acts up, is annoying you are going to get smashed. If you have no discipline and you start running up gambling debts you can't pay your going to get smashed. If you walk around like your a bad ass your getting smashed. If you let people disrespect you then your in for a rough time. If your a snitch and you get sent to an FCI or USP and you get found out your in for a rough ride. Camps are full of snitches and the people who haven't snitched are nearing their release so it's not worth receiving more time for beating a snitch down. You usually have to have less than 10 years left to be at a camp and the majority of the population will have less than 5 years. At FCIs and USPs you will be with people who have life sentences or longer (yes longer meaning people who have for example "life plus 30 years") and in the feds life is life. Judges will give people life plus how many ever years so that in case while incarcerated an inmate can get an appeal and get one of his charges dropped he will still have to do the other time and either way they will have to spend their life locked up. So what does a person have to lose when sentenced to 20, 40, life plus? They will beat down or kill anyone that disrespects them whether it's another inmate or a correctional officer. In camps since people have shorter time left it's a lot less likely that you'll get stuck or given a bath with a bowl full of boiling baby oil fresh out of the microwave, but fights and beat downs still happen all the time. Unless you go to one of the max USPs where you will be locked down 23 1/2 hours a day and 30 minutes of rec time then county time will most likely be some of the worse time you'll serve. At least where I'm from the county jails have the worst food, commissary, facilities, etc. Now there was much more violence in the prison than in the county but that violence helps keep order. Most people who have spent time in USPs, FCIs, and FPCs prefer the FCIs or USPs over the camps because there is more order and the population is made up of much more cunning, intelligent, disciplined individuals. It goes like this people who have large sentences committed larger crimes and getting to the level they did usually meant they had avoided LE, along with being apart of a operation that pulled in large amounts of money. With the feds the higher the security level usually the higher level of intelligence and wealth of the prison population. I've never been around so many millionaires and intelligent people per capita till entering the federal prison system. You'll be side by side with killers, mafia, top level gang and cartel members, big time growers, smugglers, dealers, embezzlers, and people charged for tax evasion ect. If you are a good listener you can learn more than you could ever imagine.


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## bicycle racer (Sep 7, 2008)

one thing to know at least if in socal is dont take a county lid over 18 months in prison the prison time is easier than county time at least down here especially if your a wood. county jail blows(m.c.j.)(twin towers) i hope it burns to the ground


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## ChronicGrower (Sep 7, 2008)

Cheese x Kush said:


> My advice is keep any bottle corks they might just save your asses Virginity


Fuck a bottle cork, I'll fight to the death before anybody does that shit to me.


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## bicycle racer (Sep 8, 2008)

its just sad america incarcerates more people than any other country. pseudo democracy at this point


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## Happy Stranger (Sep 8, 2008)

just read this whole thread, some abs. harrowing shit here. mad respect to those of you who've had to go through doing time, and rep to the creator of one of the most impt threads on rollitup


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## berbonber (Sep 9, 2008)

i have to agree with grow specialist on every point he made


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## doublejj (Sep 13, 2008)

I have over 22 years behind the walls of Folsom Prison. 
See my self-intro post for details.

One of the scariest cats I ever ran into in there, was 'Bubbles'.

Bubbles was about 6'5" and pumped & cut. Massive!

I noticed all the other inmates pretty much stayed away from him most of the time. They would make refrence to "blowing bubbles" and then laugh out-loud. It took me a while to get the whole story.

You see, Bubbles was as queer as a 3 dollar bill. He was a 'leather queer' from San Francisco, in prison for killing another guy in a park in SF during 'ruff-sex'. He choked a guy to death while fucking-him! This is what Bubbles did for recreation BEFORE he came to prison!

He hit the weigh pile hard when he got to prison and got even bigger! Bubbles biggest fun was getting a new celly! 

Bubbles like to forcebly TAKE it from them. He liked it, the more they fought back! If they screamed-out, Bubbles would hold their head in the toilet and make them "Blow bubbles" until they quieted down. (I think he now works for the Federal Gov. teaching the finer points "Waterboarding"!)<---a joke!

There were untold number of stories of his new celly's showing-up looking like a drowned rat at the cell assignment Sgt's desk, asking for a cell change first thing in the morning. Rumors were you'ed be stunned by the number of real heavy-hitters that were on Bubbles list!

He could be found every morning down at R&R (Recieving & Release) where new busses would arrive with new inmates and one's leaving would pick up their property. He would look eagerly over the new ones & bid a fond farewell to some of his favorites!

Ads a whole new meaning to "blowing bubbles".


doublejj


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## GrowSpecialist (Sep 13, 2008)

Great story, doublejj... and well told. It only has ONE flaw. Convicted felons are not allowed to work for the government. It was very entertaining though.


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## mane2008 (Sep 13, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Cheese x Kush*  
_My advice is keep any bottle corks they might just save your asses Virginity



bra rape doesnt go down in prison like pple say it does.
You know how many fags are lined up with they pants hanging off their ass waiting to take it in da ass?
_


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## mane2008 (Sep 13, 2008)

great thread read tho props 40


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## doublejj (Sep 13, 2008)

GrowSpecialist said:


> Convicted felons are not allowed to work for the government.


 
You are kidding right, who told you that? I know lots of ex-felons that work for the government. There's no blanket exclusion of felons from gov. jobs.

I know Doctors that practice Medicine inside prisons and cannot write prescriptions due to probationary licenses. Several of them, ex-felons practicing medicine for the gov.

However my remark about 'waterboarding' was done tung-in-cheek. I have no idea where Bubbles is now (heads-up to those in the bay area!)lol!

But rest assured, Bubbles definitely existed.


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## GrowSpecialist (Sep 13, 2008)

doublejj said:


> You are kidding right, who told you that? I know lots of ex-felons that work for the government. There's no blanket exclusion of felons from gov. jobs.
> 
> I know Doctors that practice Medicine inside prisons and cannot write prescriptions due to probationary licenses. Several of them, ex-felons practicing medicine for the gov.
> 
> ...


What I meant was that MOST (of not ALL) government jobs will do a background check prior to hiring. If your background shows that you have any felonies, they will NOT hire you. However, Its possible that there are the rare government jobs that won't do a background check. So basically, aside from the rare occasion, felons will not get a government job... and if there ARE still positions available with the government which don't require background checks, they are very menial and laborious jobs (like mowing the lawn of the courthouse and other government properties). Still, I'd be inclined to believe that THEY would even require a background check these days.


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## korvette1977 (Sep 13, 2008)

I can pee 6 '


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## doublejj (Sep 13, 2008)

It's much less restricted than you think, I think a full 1/4 of the people working at the un-employment office are ex-fellons! lol!

You do know D.U.I. is a felony right? 
Do you think the gov. fires every employee that gets a D.U.I?

Most of the janitors that clean gov. buildings at night are ex-fellons. They trained in Prison!

doublejj


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## Crumbles (Sep 13, 2008)

my pops said he got by in prison by gambling and fucking people over. he said he saw some guy get his neck pretty much gutted cause he stepped on this big homo black guys bitch.

"the most blood i ever saw in my life"

pretty twisted stories he can tell.


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## korvette1977 (Sep 14, 2008)

They call our county jail "The Hotel" or the country club.. Its got carpet . big screen T,v, Soda, Salad bar (in GP) Phones (collect) a huge library, state of the art gym and workout gear.. been there once 10 yrs ago 44 days .. it was a nice rest


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## GrowSpecialist (Sep 14, 2008)

Lol^^...............


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## mane2008 (Sep 14, 2008)

got a country club jail shit i wish we had one of those


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## Crumbles (Sep 14, 2008)

theres one in a another county called sneedville. bunch of cousin fuckers over there its like the movie wrong turn and im not even joking. they let you work in the grocery store next door. and shop for their own food and they get visits from the ladies.


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## mane2008 (Sep 14, 2008)

leave the jail? da fuck much be a small county.

ATL hell naw, shit pple would wanna get tore off and go to ya'll jail


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## Crumbles (Sep 14, 2008)

cousin fuckers -.-


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## mane2008 (Sep 14, 2008)

oh shit didnt see that part just leave n grocery store.
nasty ass pple right there


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## Crumbles (Sep 14, 2008)

haha

man tennessee has a lot of out of the way overly country places theres this one place called erwin where there is no black people whatsoever they have a sign that says something about no niggers. my moms a cash advance company GM and she has to manage a store there and she says its like the fuckin fifties. they got a mcdonalds and a wendys and thats it..

they have to go over to the next co to go to a walmart


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## mane2008 (Sep 14, 2008)

thats straight midevil type shit right there.
they on some otha shit.


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## Crumbles (Sep 14, 2008)

yeah its pretty nuts they dont know my moms grand-daughter is black and they said N WORD so she fired the two racist bitches up there and hired some new bitches but they still dont like black people hah what ya gonna do tho?


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## mane2008 (Sep 14, 2008)

well i'd do some crazy type shit but..
but the smart option is to chill


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## Crumbles (Sep 14, 2008)

with the money she makes

yeah


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## fr33zy (Oct 9, 2008)

panhead said:


> Fuck yeah i had a hard time,everybody does,if they say otherwise their a liar.


I'm hoping there was a pun intended in this statement.


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## duff420 (Oct 14, 2008)

well i know if i went to jail id be fine cause i know people in jail but if you dont id say do 1 of 2 things. if your tough then beat the shit outa the toughest person u can find, and people will be scared of u and respect you. If your not tough well you can either keep quiet and mind your own or you can try to make friends with the people who run shit.


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## B1aze (Oct 14, 2008)

I been to jail a few times, main thing you need to know is stick to yourself. You aint there to meet people you there to do your time, don't trust anybody or take anything from anyone. If you do make some friends in there that's cool, but always keep a distance cuz they could backstab you at any moment so be sure to kno if they trustworthy. If someone wants to fight you, FIGHT BACK, or you will look like a pussy and everyone will think your a punk. Even if you think you'll lose, think about it, the fight won't last long since CO's will break it up so do your best to stay swingin til the fight is broken up.

I never had a problem in there, only thing I had to survive was the boredom lolol.


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## Mentalcase (Oct 15, 2008)

I was in prison on a short visit , and was way in bumb fuck nowheres by myself and dint know anyone there. All I could do is mind my own biz, and keep myself content, I was probably the best wrighter in there so I made my comensary writing letters for other prisoners to send to there girls.(loosers).never talk about your charges, guards like to listen to the gossip for brownie point from the prosicution. (ass kisserskiss-ass)
Basicly just try to ajust as fast as you can,thing are different if jail, really different, if you can do that i think you will be alright.


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## xcyraxx (Oct 15, 2008)

right before u start doing ur time stick a razor blade in ur ass... then drop the soap in the shower... when a guy comes to rape u let him and he'll get an awesome suprise and everyone will be scared as shit to fuck u from then on. and plus they'll think your crazy as a labotamist with scitsophrania


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## dum (Oct 19, 2008)

If ever I get busted my plan is to get a lawer, make a deal to get me in a minimum security prison, I've seen those places of the history channel, they look pretty sweet and you get to go there if you're a non-violent offender. On the other hand, I live in Washington and prison probably be as bad as some of these horror stories.


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## joneric1014 (Oct 20, 2008)

I did a good bit when I was younger for kicking in some assholes door and beating him senseless. (He smacked my fiance in the face.)

I learned 3 things in prison, and if you remember them, it will save your ass.

*1) Keep your fucking mouth shut*. Speak when spoken too, and never be disrespectful. The only person you should be talking to about *ANYTHING* is your attorney, in a private room.

*2) Never, ever gamble, on anything, even if its a SURE bet.*

*3) Never ever borrow anything, or buy anything on credit. EVER.*

Best advice ever: Stay to yourself, dont make friends, Definatly dont make enemies, and try to read as much as possible. Reading keeps you educated, and its very nature tends to promote sitting down quietly somewhere and minding ones own buisness.

These 3 rules saved my life and my asshole on more than 1 occasion. These 3 rules apply from your initial bust all the way to your release date 5 years later.


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## newbalance11 (Nov 5, 2008)

excellent idea. I just did a coulpe of years for cultivation. the best advice i can give is to mind your own business and keep your head down. in prison you are going to see a lot of fucked up shit, but just don't get involved. do your time and concentrate on going home. just remember, you went in to prison by yourself and you are going to leave by yourself. mind your own business


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## mistaboombastic (Nov 17, 2008)

newbalance11 said:


> excellent idea. I just did a coulpe of years for cultivation. the best advice i can give is to mind your own business and keep your head down. in prison you are going to see a lot of fucked up shit, but just don't get involved. do your time and concentrate on going home. just remember, you went in to prison by yourself and you are going to leave by yourself. mind your own business


this is the best thread ive read..


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## Louis541 (Nov 17, 2008)

Very helpful info. One question that was totally skipped though, what's the best way to get weed in prison? And where can you use it without getting caught? (My guess on that one would be edibles, in the cell)


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## panhead (Nov 18, 2008)

fr33zy said:


> I'm hoping there was a pun intended in this statement.


Havent checked this thread in a while.

What pun are you looking for,ive been down twice & i had a hard time both times,michigan prisons are no joke,one is nicknamed gladiator school & this name comes from dept of corrections personal,the other is the largest walled prison in the united states,if you wind up in "Jackson" or Michigan Reformatory" it dont matter how bad ass you tink you are your going to get into some shit as soon as you get out of quarantine & put in population.

Fuk yes i had a hard ass time, why do i need to have a pun in my comment,fukin prison sucked both times.


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## Galeer (Nov 19, 2008)

"Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear"

wow thats a good one i was gonna say get a license man i got one and i dont even think about cops cause i grow in legal limit


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## Phinxter (Nov 24, 2008)

i did 3 years on a VOCSA back in the early 90s and the one thing i can tell you is 
if you think and act as tho you will be a victim you will be victimized.
keeping to yourself is always a good idea but as long as you dont appear to be afraid and dont act like billy badass you should be fine.
and if you do hangout with anyone make sure you never owe them anything.
and that means dont accept anything from them. EVER! nothing inside is free no exceptions.


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## Jonus (Nov 24, 2008)

To add to the wealth of knowledge about how to survive inside, here is the one lesson I learnt that hasn't already been mentioned. 

_Never forget you're in jail_...

...after you've been there long enough it is an easy thing to do and there are plenty of willing fists to re-wake your ass up to that fact.


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## Phinxter (Nov 24, 2008)

agreed Jonus..after a while some people do let their gaurd down and start actin a fool.
and thats when they usually open their mouths too wide and get it closed for them along with an eye or two


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## ripz (Nov 24, 2008)

all in all i've spent about 9 years on the inside, in the uk things are slightly different but in essence probably the same and going back to what fdd2blk said at the beginning of this thread "find the biggest meanest fucker and bite his nose off" that just about sums it up , most of the guys inside are bullys thats why they are there if they think they can intimidate you they will if they think that they will whoop your arse but possibly lose an ear in the process they will look for an easier target i've been to most of the max security prisons in the uk but i havent got a scar on me from being in jail, got a couple outside but thats another thread. man rape is not such a problem over here and if it did happen the offender woul most likely be cut to pieces in the showers


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## DaGambler (Nov 26, 2008)

"You can't rape the willing!"



ha ha, joke. butta, me and a bud were hangin out one time and this tall skinny guy comes along talkin about how he just got out of prison and started saying like.. 'something bad happened to me in there...' ... and we were like, dude, shut the fug up, noone wants to hear that shite!

i've only spent like a day in county a couple times, thank god. it would break my heart to loose my doggies. and if i wasn't absolutely certain i was going to a good place, i would be very inclined to stand in the courtroom and say something to this effect: "as i stand here with a clear conscience and am deemed an animal, to be caged apart from the rest of man, for their safety... so too do i charge you with my own safety... and know that i hold both the prosecuting attorney and the presiding judge responsible for my safety in as much as they are keeping society safe from me, they had best keep me safe from the other 'animals' that they have caged. For if anything untoward should happen to me while i am inside, know that the same thing will befall you once i am released." That is an oath that I have long ago sworn... and having had everything taken from me when i went in, i don't feel i would have much to lose (to prevent me from making good on this oath) when coming out.

ONE thing is for sure, until you have been in prison/jail/county for at least a short time with no real knowledge of when you might be getting out... You never really know what Freedom is until your Freedom has been taken away. I've seen animals start to go crazy in a cage. I've seen a horse start to loose its marbles when in a corral that was too small... My greatest fear is that i am like that horse. I think prison might strip my soul away faster than any drug ever could.


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## Philly_Buddah (Nov 27, 2008)

Good for me I am mentally unstable. I cant be held accountable for what I do and sent to prison. Of course I am talking about murder and things and not growing marijuana. Wait, could I argue that too? "This man is not guilty of growing marijuana because of the reason of insanity". That shit would be cool.

Ill tell u one thing, Id rather go to a mental hospital then jail. They actually have different levels of mental hospitals too though. Ive only been to the lower levels, the ones in wings of normal hospitals and medical centers. If I wasnt so stressed out it woulda been pretty cool. I got a couple weird stories from in there but nothing too crazy. If u go in an insane asylum on the other hand, its still better then prison, but u will be even crazier then u already are and see a whole bunch of insane shit in there. Isolation in an insane asylum and u are guaranteed to go insane, not in a funny way. At least theres girls in mental hospitals lol. This was a few years ago so I dont remember everything though.


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## d2rod89 (Jan 2, 2009)

.........................................keep ya head up


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## blujay42 (Jan 6, 2009)

xcyraxx said:


> right before u start doing ur time stick a razor blade in ur ass... then drop the soap in the shower... when a guy comes to rape u let him and he'll get an awesome suprise and everyone will be scared as shit to fuck u from then on. and plus they'll think your crazy as a labotamist with scitsophrania


I'd like to not die from perforated colon, and the idea of fuckign up another guy's dick is kindof twisted too, even if he was a total rapist psychopath.


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## dpjones (Jan 7, 2009)

ganji2 said:


> So, if a guys trying to rape you right? And you kick his ass, and rape him, Would that make him our bitch?



lol ive read about 30 pages of this thread and its been really down to earth stuff. Makes you think and makes me realise how hard you Americans got it.

but this quote above made me laugh a lot

I know it isnt a funny matter but that scenrio seemed so bizarre in such a serious thread lol.

The internet is an amazing place, where you can talk to plp who have had these experiences, at a push of a button.


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## fat sam (Jan 28, 2009)

keep your ears open and your mouth shut, dont gamble dont borrow anything dont disrespect another man and stick with your own kind


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## duff420 (Jan 28, 2009)

i know alot of people in prison so i think id servive. That or you just beat the crap outa the biggest guy u can find and people will either respect you or fear you.


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## wake (Jan 28, 2009)

duff420 said:


> ..That or you just beat the crap outa the biggest guy u can find and people will either respect you or fear you.


I think you watch too many movies.


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## beauser420 (Apr 13, 2009)

fdd2blk said:


> find the biggest, baddest, meanest, motherfucker and walk right up and bite off his nose. you should be all good after that.


I'm too scare of hepatitus...or somethin else...


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## guestrollitup (Apr 13, 2009)

NEVER accept shit

NEVER gamble

Don't stay in your cell

Don't talk about family

Don't "make friends"

Stick with your own kind

Be cool, and calm. 

That's it.


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## korvette1977 (Apr 13, 2009)

Dont Get locked up in the 1st place ...........................


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## wake (Apr 13, 2009)

korvette1977 said:


> Dont Get locked up in the 1st place ...........................


thank you, that is helpful


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## Suka (Apr 28, 2009)

Wow... just read through this hugely informative thread!... wow... im about to start my grow op and even thinking about what life would be like if i went to jail seriously makes me wonder if i should still grow.. i mean if i dont tell a sole about the grow it should work out, its just the thought at the back of my mind that freekes me out.. just thinking about it now makes my tummy sink... so.... the lesson i learnt from you guys !! (and thanks for sharing your experiences) is GROW ROOM SECURITY IS NUMBER 1 on my list.. Fuck i must be carefull !!!! cheers and thanks again for the informative thread !!


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## Puna Bud (Jun 3, 2009)

after reading a good percentage of you guys post here I realize a good majority of you have never truly seen the inside of a real prison. Perhaps a few nights in county jail, but no real time in state, or federal prison. Or worse yet a foreign prison! I&#699;ve been a resident in them all! 

Past places where I have slept:

LOMPOC USP

LOMPOC FCI

BASDROP FCI

CHIANG MAI PRISON Thailand ( arrested in Golden Triangle)

Bhangkwan Prison Thailand (for prisoners with sentences 26 years & above)

LARDYAO PRISON THAILAND( after time reduction moved here. My Security level lowered getting closer to home)

At one point I did 8 years over 10. I was eventually pardoned by the King of THailand. So I know a thing or two about prisons, prison life, and how it works! It&#699;s hardly ever like television,....that&#699;s for sure!

Originally sentenced in Chiang Mai Thailand I was given 35 years on a plea bargain! You don&#699;t have much choices once the Thais have you by the "short hairs". CAn you imagine the one prison I was in(Bhangkwan Prison) was for prisoners with sentences 26 years and above. In this prison was a population of over 7000 inmates....and they had a major riot while I was there too!! Of that count, less than 20 were Americans!!! I was witness to several executions during my stay there too. I have never,ever seen what I experienced in THai prison on TV or movies. It was totally bizzaro!

Right now I have to take one of my kids to school, then work on my ladies for a bit, then I&#699;ll get back to write more.
I will say this if your doing a commercial grow. You best put away 15% to 20% of your profits to your legal fund! That&#699;s right your legal fund. One thing you must realize in this business, the bottom line is prison. Until they(GOV.) re-classifies cannabis, watch your backs. Especially you kids out there growing at home in your closet without your parents knowledge. You put out thermal images for police "fly overs", and there is a 50-50 chance your folks will lose their home for your crazy closet grow!

More later..


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## natrone23 (Jun 3, 2009)

Puna Bud said:


> after reading a good percentage of you guys post here I realize a good majority of you have never truly seen the inside of a real prison. Perhaps a few nights in county jail, but no real time in state, or federal prison. Or worse yet a foreign prison! I&#699;ve been a resident in them all!
> 
> Past places where I have slept:
> 
> ...


 You ever seen the show "locked up abroad" on Nat Geo


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## bob+marley (Jun 3, 2009)

City is where the repeat offenders, to small timers go after the detention center or not. 

Metro pd is not nice. 

THEY ARE DUMB AS WOODEN POSTS BUT STILL MEAN..

thats not true. I have encountered some nice ones.



ok back to the story. 

I get busted for my warrant. unpaid traffic tickets. fucking ridiculous.

so on the way to the station "city" we almost got into an accident due to the cop and "explorer" sitting bitch TEXTING A FEMALE POLICE OFFICER!
ON THE LAPTOP! FUCK
ALSO USING HIS CELLULAR PHONE.


so almost died.

SO you get to jail. *shackled to a bench for 3 hours.* cold bench. they pump the fucking place cold with ac to keep you awake. 

YOU MIGHT get asked if you want a sack lunch. get this if offered.* you can use it to gain a pal or eat if necessary.*( I barley ate the entire time there by the way. survived on milk and cookies hahahaha maybe a banana. )

BEGIN PROCESSING.

they take your shoes first and you get nasty prizon sandalz. yuk. that was really my biggest concern the entire time, FOOT DISEASE!!!!! lol.

all the other shit goes into a bag with your number on it, *but that takes 45 minutes for those retards. 

Holding Cell #1*

smells of alcohol. DOnt TALK TO ANYONE UNLESS THEY INitiate!!! I WAS PISSED OFF AND NOT IN THE MOOD AS WAS EVERYONE ELSE. TRY and find a spot under a bench to sleep. Im fucking serious. Its the best option. THE BEST. lol 

YOUR HERE FOREVER. no clocks so you dont know how long. but its approximately 4 - 6 hours. 

*HOLDING CELL #2
*
-Is nicer. GRAFFITTI IN FUCKING JAIL SHOWS HOW MUCH WE LIKE IT HERE! lol

weirdos.
-anyways onto the TB shot and finger printing. 

-Take your clothes and your given man panties made of fish net. 

welcome to full male nudity. I wasnt ready for all of that. But whatever. 

*
Off to lunch when i arrived. *FUCKING DOG MEAT SANDWHICHES AND THE NASTIEST SUPPOSED CHICKEN on alternatiing days, but the milk and cookies saved me. the only real food besides the undergrown fruit, processed outside this facility.

your greeted with an empty floor with no cellmates on the floor.* theres bedding you grab and take to your cell. *rooms of 4 bunks per room and about 80 per cell block. 

I just so happened to be in the night someone died the next cell block over. 

stomped to death in his cage. It sounded like a ufc fight in the middle of the night in the dark. insane. THAT WAS HIGH SECURITY HIGH HIGH SECURITY man killers next door. only a cage seperating. lol



*anyways keep your own shit together for video court. you dont see no judge no more. 
*



I dont know about everywhere, but in Las Vegas City Jail. there was a sense of unity against authority. Yea were all there because we fucked up, but thats what we have in common. something to talk about. 


*there is usually some older white guys that are pretty easy to get to know. 
Although being white I made friends pretty fast with people of other races. 

My poker tattoo was part of the solution there. I have the card symbols on my arm where the orange jump suit didnt cover. so naturally someone saw and sat me down for poker. 

U have a ton of free time on an extended stay like mine. 6 days was not fun. but it was an experience. I could have been busted for so much fucking worse. 

and being only 21 I see this as a second chance. 

I almost saw a felony that night. but due to the neglect of the rookie police I got away with ditching 4 xanax bars in the bushes





there for some really really sad things. they ended up hitting their wife or being beaten to within an inch of their lives*








good luck. i took a shower. no one in there wants to fuck you. they just want to get out. UNLESS YOU MURDER SOMEONE. AND THEN YOU GET PUT IN WITH THE FUCKING MAN SLAYERS, and then that chance is so much more real. 




stay on your toes. Im never goin back


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## bob+marley (Jun 3, 2009)

and fuck that guy telling you that city or county jail isint dangerous. someone fucking died when I got there. Go fuck yourself hardass. I hope you go back. what the fuck did you do to go?


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## Puna Bud (Jun 3, 2009)

natrone23 said:


> You ever seen the show "locked up abroad" on Nat Geo


no. What nights is that on?


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## Dr. Greenhorn (Jun 3, 2009)

used to be on mondays but I'm not sure if they show it anymore


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## natrone23 (Jun 3, 2009)

Puna Bud said:


> no. What nights is that on?


http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/series/locked-up-abroad


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## Dr. Greenhorn (Jun 3, 2009)

did anyone see ganga queen? very sad what happened..


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## Puna Bud (Jun 3, 2009)

listen, anytime one&#699;s locked up . It&#699;s a fucked situation! Now there are two ways of going about your stay in the joint. You can do "hard time"(walking around constantly crying about your innocence or you can accept your fate). Nobody truly wants to go to prison whether it be a police cell block ,county jail, state or federal pen. It&#699;s all misrable and very hard on you and your family. First thing one must accept upon sentencing, especially if you&#699;ve been given a "gang of time". Bye-bye to the girlfriend, and or wife. Asking them to hang around while you do your 5 to 10 year "noodle gazer stint", is asking a bit much don&#699;t you think? Besides, I promise you they will be gone within 8 months of your original sentence! I remember while at LOMPOC, we had this fucking &#699;HELL&#699;S ANGEL&#699;, in our cell. We use to drive him nuts about his old lady. Somehow this "butt worm" got himself Julie Strain former PET of the Year model and soft-core porn star for his old lady. But we use to tell him that his old lady was getting reemed by the Oakland Raiders defensive line while he was away. He go nuts and run to the phone. Call her and rag to her for hours. This is one form of doing "hard time".

To truly survive one must get a daily routine down. Then keep to that routine as much as possible. Fact of the matter about Prison "butt boys". There is a 99% chance they were queer before ever tossing a prison salad!


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## nivekragah (Jun 5, 2009)

just some quick 2cents. be realy good to your family while your in. they are all you got, and even when shit seems to hard and you wana yell at them because they dont understand how shitty it is. just be cool. because you aint got alot of phone time and you will be spending hrs thinking about how shity you are and how much you miss them. get some education if you can but stick to your cell try not to go anywhere or talk to anyone. keep your mouth shut. and if you think your hard forget it 5 dueds will beat your head in before you know it. i advise only standing up and acting tuff when you have to. dont go around over trying they will see and start shit just keep to yourself, and if some one does start shit watch your back and dont puss out if you gotta fight then so be it. but half the time it never goes to a fight. dont get punked our theyll fuck you every day but if you keep your respect they wont mess with you. tip dont trade or give out food. never just dont do it. its like feeding a stray wild dog they keep coming back either begging stealing or fighting. avoid the bull shit and eat everything and if someone askes tell them no your eating it.


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## dk173 (Jun 5, 2009)

this is a good thread keep your stuff to your self if you must try to get some alias walk like you aint takeing sh^$ from no one all ways have a angry face i do this on a daily bases cuss that is how i was raised i had to defend myself at the age of 11 and now alot of people find me threating when i dont want them to its a pain but it helps you know you wont be a pu$$y


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## alleyezonme (Jun 9, 2009)

I have one serious question that I've been thinking about and hasn't been answered yet... WHEN SHOWERING AT HOME... I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE ELSE DOES THIS BUT I USE THE SOAP TO CLEAN MY BODY.. RUB ON MY STOMACH AND UNDER PITS SEMI-HASTELY AND THEN RUB UNDER MY SACK AND THRU MY ASS CHEEKS. NOW IN PRISON WILL IT LOOK GAY OR MAKE ME A TARGET IF IM CLEANING MY ASS? AND THEN RISING MY ASSHOLE OFF WHILE SLIDING MY HANDS THRU MY ASSCHEEKS? SERIOUS RESPONSES PLEASE. IF NOT WONT MY ASS SMELL LIKE SHIT IF I COMPLETELY NEGLECT IT? HOW DO U CLEAN YOUR ASS WITHOUT LOOKING GAY? THANK YOU.


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## Mysticlown150 (Jun 9, 2009)

Lol i really dont know what prisons some people are talking about here. The prisons I see on msnbc "locked up Folsom" or san quentin are serious fucking places. You cant stay in your cell on some leave me alone im sad shit lol. You have to join a gang immediately.

This is for california people (I dont even live in cali but heres what I saw), If you are of mexican heritage born north of the town of delano you are northerner, south of the town southerner, black you are blood or crip, white you are aryan. You dont want to join? then you fight everyone. Cali has some real ass prisons lol, Great MJ state but i wouldnt survive a day in their prisons.


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## alleyezonme (Jun 9, 2009)

Mysticlown150 said:


> Lol i really dont know what prisons some people are talking about here. The prisons I see on msnbc "locked up Folsom" or san quentin are serious fucking places. You cant stay in your cell on some leave me alone im sad shit lol. You have to join a gang immediately.
> 
> This is for california people (I dont even live in cali but heres what I saw), If you are of mexican heritage born north of the town of delano you are northerner, south of the town southerner, black you are blood or crip, white you are aryan. You dont want to join? then you fight everyone. Cali has some real ass prisons lol, Great MJ state but i wouldnt survive a day in their prisons.


And im in northern cali. 408 to be exact so its definately Quentin for me. NOW how do i clean my ass properly in the shower?>


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## dk173 (Jun 13, 2009)

alleyezonme said:


> And im in northern cali. 408 to be exact so its definately Quentin for me. NOW how do i clean my ass properly in the shower?>


 well u can clean you ass but dont be on some gay stuff and act like my ass is open for shop just do it quick and get out


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## shroomer33 (Jun 14, 2009)

40acres said:


> *Number 3 *Walk with your head up and walk with a purpose. Predators see weakness in body language and can spot a punk from across the yard. Do not walk with a shuffle and as if you are going to burst into tears at any moment. This will get your crunch stolen and your ass dry raped faster than a 12yr old girl in kansas gets pregnant.


 I agree. Be a man. That is it.


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## shroomer33 (Jun 14, 2009)

ORECAL said:


> that always seems to be what people suggest, but is it really the best idea? i mean, seems to me that if you walk in there and fuck up the biggest dude in the joint, there is going to be somebody connected to him, and now your fucked. am I right?


I think the best idea is to not back down when the biggest motherfucker decides to fuck with you. Once you stand up to him, you'll have respect. Then people won't fuck with you.


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## FCI (Jun 15, 2009)

two rules- all phones are tapped and all ways have a plan!!!!!!!! inside and out...


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## bgmike8 (Jun 20, 2009)

didnt read the whole thread. it is very simple. mind your own business. dont borrow dont gamble just tough it out, dont accept too much help. if you are challenged over something that is yours than you better defend it or you will regret it. but if you are a coward then this will not change things. the less you say the better. less opportunity to get involved in something you dont want to get involved in. never never cooperate with the co's . stick with the whites if you are white. whites are the best but nowadays the young kids all act like nigs. stay away from the young guys. you will probably be allright if you are minimum security trhoough. nowadays the institution runs things and you dont have to worry about too much outside of small time hustlers trying to test you for your commissary. the downside to this is that their is no more honor code. i saw motherfuckers snitching right out in the open. 20 years ago this was a definite way to get stuck or killed but now it seems to be more exceptable because everyones a bitch these days. same as the street really with this snitch culture.


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## bgmike8 (Jun 20, 2009)

shroomer33 said:


> I think the best idea is to not back down when the biggest motherfucker decides to fuck with you. Once you stand up to him, you'll have respect. Then people won't fuck with you.



i think this is a big myth that i have heard since iwas a kid. the biggest motherfucker usually isnt the one fucking with you. it will be a bunch of slimy mullies trying to get something from you right off the jump. you need to stand up for yourself at all times. then things might get a little easier.


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## Cannabolic (Jun 22, 2009)

bgmike8 said:


> i think this is a big myth that i have heard since iwas a kid. the biggest motherfucker usually isnt the one fucking with you. it will be a bunch of slimy mullies trying to get something from you right off the jump. you need to stand up for yourself at all times. then things might get a little easier.


mullies......? r u serious?


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## shroomer33 (Jun 22, 2009)

bgmike8 said:


> i think this is a big myth that i have heard since iwas a kid. the biggest motherfucker usually isnt the one fucking with you. it will be a bunch of slimy mullies trying to get something from you right off the jump. you need to stand up for yourself at all times. then things might get a little easier.


yeah, I agree. It is usually just a bunch of punks fucking with you, but yes, just stand up to anyone!!! Don't back down like a bitch! Stand up! They'll respect you. That is what is important. You don't even need to win the fight. Just don't be a bitch.


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## oldmandroman (Jun 22, 2009)

never been two jail but will telling every one you got aids from a slut work


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## bgmike8 (Jun 22, 2009)

then you will just get raped by an aids infected inmate lol


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## ThatsWhatSheSaid (Jun 23, 2009)




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## bgmike8 (Jun 23, 2009)

Cannabolic said:


> mullies......? r u serious?



yes. was trying to put it nicely. obviously you havent been down before.


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## Cannabolic (Jun 23, 2009)

bgmike8 said:


> yes. was trying to put it nicely. obviously you havent been down before.


 havent been down where?


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## shroomer33 (Jun 23, 2009)

WTF is a mullie anyway? Someone with a mullett?


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## ThatsWhatSheSaid (Jun 24, 2009)

Keep on keepin on


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## Cannabolic (Jun 24, 2009)

shroomer33 said:


> WTF is a mullie anyway? Someone with a mullett?


 a mullie is short for mulignan which is Italian for eggplant which is a derogatory word to describe black people.


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## oldmandroman (Jun 24, 2009)

the someone need to get banded or riu hate black people


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## purpdaddy (Jun 24, 2009)

a mollie is a huge ass peice of candy with every kind of chocolate,caramel candy in wrappers all smushed together in clean flat garbage bag.Pretty damn good if the person makes em right.


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## shroomer33 (Jun 24, 2009)

Mongo like candy


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## jollytime (Jun 24, 2009)

I did 2 years in prison in california, dont wear anything your not ready to fight for. keep moving on the yard. Try to get a work number so you can work. keep your juice card handy. Learn to like to read. Dont get a tat. you will regret it. Remember you are who you hang with, Dont mark of the days, forget about your girlfriend, your in prison not her. I could go on, and on. hope it dosnt happen to you!!


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## ThumbofGreen (Jul 13, 2009)

bet yuo cash he only uses words like mullie on the internet, cuz his jaw would get rocked if i ever heard that in public


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## purpdaddy (Jul 13, 2009)

A mollie

pronounced (mo-lee) is a prison candy made by convicts.The one they made for me the week i was getting released was awsome i know that!..i even brought a big peice home!LOL


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## shroomer33 (Jul 13, 2009)

FUCK B.E.T.!!!!
Do you know how many times I saw the goddamned video to TLC's Waterfalls? (That'll tell you when I was away.)

I feel you.


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## bgmike8 (Jul 13, 2009)

ThumbofGreen said:


> bet yuo cash he only uses words like mullie on the internet, cuz his jaw would get rocked if i ever heard that in public


its not that im trying to insult you, im just telling the truth.

people say that "i would kick his ass blah blah" yet when i wear my rebel flag shirt or my "keep the white race pure" shirt, nobody ever kicks my ass. maybe because im so big or maybe because they need a gang with them before they are really about anything.??

besides that, why do you people care so much about whether we like you or not? i just want to be left alone to further the white race and try to make this country better. but your people insist that we must mix and be happy about it. whats with that????


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## ThumbofGreen (Jul 13, 2009)

keep the white race pure? if you were familiar with genetic migratory patterns then you would know that all of OUR dna has originated from a single location in eastern africa. So assuming that is true how does that make you feel about your pure race? Read a book and then kill yourself.
https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com/genographic/index.html


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## Louis541 (Jul 13, 2009)

ThumbofGreen said:


> keep the white race pure? if you were familiar with genetic migratory patterns then you would know that all of OUR dna has originated from a single location in eastern africa. So assuming that is true how does that make you feel about your pure race? Read a book and then kill yourself.
> https://genographic.nationalgeographic.com/genographic/index.html


Lol. Owned.


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## hardroc (Jul 13, 2009)

I've done ALOT of time. Mostly for guns, drugs and counterfiet, anyways, the way to survive in jail, is to just fucking act right, follow the range rules, and don't try to be a hard ass, just play your cards, read and talk with the boys, everyone hates being in there, so no one needs extra stress from some punk trying to be hard, especialy when you just had a bad day in court, that'll just make you wanna rag doll the little bitch. Deffinatly get on a work crew, takes your mind off shit and not just being bored in the same range day after day, and plus you make $ for canteen. Kitchen is the best to get, alot of shit comes through the kitchen and laundry, I always get the laundry cause (well.....too many assults, and weapon charges) so my classifacation won't allow them to let me work in the kitchen, if you don't have them, then you can go, plus you can get extra food, and if you got a good crew, you can make a brew.
Anyway, just act right, because it really is a community, you LIVE with these ppl, and sometimes, you live with this ppl for years. So you prolly would rather make friends than enemys. You'd be surprised on what kind of cool ppl you can meet in the can.
Jail is nothing like what you see on tv. I heard it was rougher in the U.S. thoungh, I'm from Canada.
Anyway, that's my little bit on this subject, 

happy growing


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## purpdaddy (Jul 15, 2009)

Yea theres onething for sure..youll know the EXACT score for every quarte on every AVAILABLE sports channel..Man i got so tired of watching sports..Thats what i hated the most.


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## shroomer33 (Jul 15, 2009)

Also, the whole fucking place would stop running when 'Martin' came on. But, at that point, I had my own room with my own TV. So I didn't care. But it was funny to see no black people in the yard or walking around. They were all watching 'Martin.'


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## natrone23 (Jul 15, 2009)

shroomer33 said:


> They were all watching 'Martin.'


OMG they were watching Martin......no way dude.

What were you watching


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## Puffster (Jul 15, 2009)

pinksensa said:


> Keep your fucking mouth shut...dont be tellin everybody your business....keep quiet listen and they will tell you everything...they all have their own agendas so if you keep quiet you can learn them before they learn you


one of, if not the most intelligent things ever written on riu!!!!!


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## bgmike8 (Jul 15, 2009)

Louis541 said:


> Lol. Owned.



people who say owned are so queer.



so i guess blacks dont exist then? there is no difference then? 

you can say that we all came from the same place but it is obvious that whites evolved much more. and this is the race that i speak of.


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## purpdaddy (Jul 16, 2009)

hardroc said:


> I've done ALOT of time. Mostly for guns, drugs and counterfiet, anyways, the way to survive in jail, is to just fucking act right, follow the range rules, and don't try to be a hard ass, just play your cards, read and talk with the boys, everyone hates being in there, so no one needs extra stress from some punk trying to be hard, especialy when you just had a bad day in court, that'll just make you wanna rag doll the little bitch. Deffinatly get on a work crew, takes your mind off shit and not just being bored in the same range day after day, and plus you make $ for canteen. Kitchen is the best to get, alot of shit comes through the kitchen and laundry, I always get the laundry cause (well.....too many assults, and weapon charges) so my classifacation won't allow them to let me work in the kitchen, if you don't have them, then you can go, plus you can get extra food, and if you got a good crew, you can make a brew.
> Anyway, just act right, because it really is a community, you LIVE with these ppl, and sometimes, you live with this ppl for years. So you prolly would rather make friends than enemys. You'd be surprised on what kind of cool ppl you can meet in the can.
> Jail is nothing like what you see on tv. I heard it was rougher in the U.S. thoungh, I'm from Canada.
> Anyway, that's my little bit on this subject,
> ...


 If you chillin with the "BOYS" in LA prisons you punk.BOYS=PUNKS..Yea jail aint shit..go to PRISON..They got Booty bandits in canada..well lemme tell ya this..They got bitches in there that call themselves that and thats all they do..try to talk you out your ass and i seen happen to SO many freshfish whiteboys a couple blacks...
One of my close padnas got locked up..man on the streets he was a fucking fool would pull that 44 on you quick and would burn you to a crisp if you didnt give it up...His first day in there.As im leaving for work detail..i see him struggling with his mattress and shit..lil bitty dude..but was psycho i still dont understand..well i go help him to his rack and shit..try to give him the basic game before i leave,,Then i hear "WORK CALL" fuck i gotta go "just dont talk to anyone"Seriously...he didnt take heed to what i had told him...i got back from work...the bandits shaved his head and eyebrown and put him in sum red cut-offs ...When igot back to the dorm and saw that...It really fucked me up..So he was already sittin on the dudes bed thats a no no..i went over there and said hes for me..yanked him off the bed and made him sit in his bunk..went to the tv unplugged it..MAde a fuckin announcement that anyone fuck wth my bitch gonaa get they issue..That saved him..I told him to just go sneek SOMEONE anyone to get yourself in the hole and tell the warden you need to be in honors dorm..He shook back from it but i still think they got his booty..Jujst goes to show you..Prison a whole different world and yes it like it is on TV..Those are real prisons with real victs..Trust me its real.


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## shroomer33 (Jul 22, 2009)

natrone23 said:


> OMG they were watching Martin......no way dude.
> 
> What were you watching


 The Simpsons.


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## bgmike8 (Jul 23, 2009)

my favorite show was funniest videos. it takes your mind away and lets you laugh a bit. also simpsons family guy


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## Daguzenn (Jul 23, 2009)

email468 said:


> don't ever let a cop into your house. if the cop is legally allowed in, he won't be asking.
> cops lie, lie and when you think they are done lying - they lie some more.
> 
> myth: a cop is not allowed to use drugs - well it is true but they are very good at faking it.
> True: a cop is not allowed to allow drugs to get back on the street. they buy, buy, and buy - but never sell (unless it is a sting). so if you suspect someone of being a cop - have them give you a joint and walk away (be prepared to eat it).


A cop can do whatever the fuck he wants. He can walk right in, if he has ANY suspicion of illegal activity...so, yeah.
Same with searching car, pulling you over...etc.


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## bgmike8 (Jul 23, 2009)

youre out of your fucking mind. a cop cannot walk right in just for a suspicion.


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## shroomer33 (Jul 24, 2009)

A cop can do whatever the fuck he wants, whether it is Constitutional or not. Cops aren't trained in the Constitution like they used to be. Your job is to keep your fucking mouth shut and beat the case in court. Just pray that the judge has some respect for the Bill of Rights, which he probably won't. 

And NEVER let them in your house!!! EVER! Talk through the deadbolted door. Tell them to bust the door down if they have a warrant. If they don't have a warrant, tell their dispatcher to call you on your cell phone. NEVER let them in!!!!!!
If they could get a warrant, they wouldn't be talking to you through the door. They would have already bust the door down and you would have 50 guns pointed at your pot smoking head.


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## Louis541 (Jul 24, 2009)

A cop can legally search your car if he has probable cause. Your house is a different story, because of castle law. They absolutely have to have a warrant or your permission, which they WILL try to bully you into giving them permission. Just keep in mind that if they are asking it more then likely means they don't have permission.


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## purpdaddy (Jul 24, 2009)

Louis541 said:


> A cop can legally search your car if he has probable cause. Your house is a different story, because of castle law. They absolutely have to have a warrant or your permission, which they WILL try to bully you into giving them permission. Just keep in mind that if they are asking it more then likely means they don't have permission.


 That needed to be said... THANK YOU
if you dont know your shit now days when you run into the law...they gonna run clean over you..people please know state laws..A cop just cant do whatever the fuck he wants.They can lie to you to get the truth.So thats why its so important to know the *COPS* statutes and limitations as well as your own.


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## Imlovinit (Jul 31, 2009)

Seriously, what's going to stop the police from walking right into your house finding your plants and just saying he smelt the pot from the door. It's your word against theirs. Personally, i wouldn't even answer the door. Fuck em! If they want in they can knock my door down. I just hope i can destroy enough evidence to make it probation or community service. You don't have to talk to the cops, just your lawyer!


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## Pushit (Aug 2, 2009)

pretty new and stubble upon this thread. I just recently got busted in May(twice actually long story)...Apparently they had a task force with help from the FBI.(Questioned for 3 hours in the back of a police car by 2 feds. Didnt say shit so they sat my ass in the back of the patrol car with the windows rolled up in 100 degree weather) I'm out on bail right now still waiting for trial, they keep resetting it. My lawyer says the DA has not even charged me "Yet". The way they busted me was full of shit...Did not give a shit about my rights nor respected them. Nothing I can do at the time but hopefully my lawyers will try and suppress the evidence because they had no probable cause in the first place. I'm facing 2 years if I get convicted


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## newb19547 (Aug 2, 2009)

Pushit said:


> pretty new and stubble upon this thread. I just recently got busted in May(twice actually long story)...Apparently they had a task force with help from the FBI.(Questioned for 3 hours in the back of a police car by 2 feds. Didnt say shit so they sat my ass in the back of the patrol car with the windows rolled up in 100 degree weather) I'm out on bail right now still waiting for trial, they keep resetting it. My lawyer says the DA has not even charged me "Yet". The way they busted me was full of shit...Did not give a shit about my rights nor respected them. Nothing I can do at the time but hopefully my lawyers will try and suppress the evidence because they had no probable cause in the first place. I'm facing 2 years if I get convicted


Shit man! Good Luck to you


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## blakkmask (Aug 2, 2009)

1. If you socialize with anyone, make sure they are your same skin color. PERIOD.

2. One of the easiest shanks or shivs to make is to melt the grip end of your plastic, prison issued toothbrush and shape it into a point. With a little sly hand work, you can carry it around in plain view and know one notice its a weapon.

3. The first person that tries to punk you, no matter how big he is, FIGHT HIM. More than Likely It will be broken up before you sustain serious injury and the altercation is more over dominance not because that other guy dislike you. Show no fear.

4. Phones books under your clothes makes great armor against poorly made prison weapons. Try to pad it and tuck the edges into your pants to make it look natural. you dont really want anyone to notice it, this would make just wanna go for your eyes or neck.

5. If you run with a crew, try to never go anywhere alone. Prison bonds are strong, and your homies know the consequences for betrayal.....

6. Never apologize for shit " Im sorry" doesent exist in prison

7. Find a Hobby like reading, drawing, and puzzles to keep busy.

8. Drugs are availible in prison but are ALOT more expensive than on the streets. drugs in prison usually sell for 5x more than street value.

9.Try to smugle things like orange and apple juice back to your cell. Add a few rolled up balls of bread for yeast...Ferment...and you can make some O.K. booze. Add fruit coctail for extra flavor.

10. DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO SURVIVE. KILL, STEAL,LIE, SUCK, FUCK, SELL, PRAY, RAPE, TORURE, WHATEVER IT TAKES.


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## olishell (Aug 2, 2009)

Bend over and take it like a punk......Or(my preference)beat the shit out of the first guy that looks at you sideways.


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## shroomer33 (Aug 2, 2009)

Pushit said:


> pretty new and stubble upon this thread. I just recently got busted in May(twice actually long story)...Apparently they had a task force with help from the FBI.(Questioned for 3 hours in the back of a police car by 2 feds. Didnt say shit so they sat my ass in the back of the patrol car with the windows rolled up in 100 degree weather) I'm out on bail right now still waiting for trial, they keep resetting it. My lawyer says the DA has not even charged me "Yet". The way they busted me was full of shit...Did not give a shit about my rights nor respected them. Nothing I can do at the time but hopefully my lawyers will try and suppress the evidence because they had no probable cause in the first place. I'm facing 2 years if I get convicted


Damned good thing you kept your mouth shut.
You should file a civil suit against the pigs who put you in a hot car. It is against the law to do that to a dog. They are treating you worse than a dog. SUE THEM!!

Even if they beat the charge, they can't beat the ride of going to court and paying for a lawyer.


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## spazstic (Aug 3, 2009)

It's all about your race. stick with your own and if you see one of your own race getting jumped you had better jump in there right away. Or next time it's you getting jumped you ain't gonna have any help and you're gonna get your ass beat.


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## email (Oct 16, 2009)

I've read every single page in this topic.

I've never been or have been to jail/prison. But this advice seems to be the most logical i've read.

1.) Walk with your head up... don't stare at the ground. 

2.) like above: don't act like a victim or you will be a victim. You will be sized up from the moment you get there and they WILL have an idea why you are in there.

3.) If attacked fight back with everything you have (even if you lose) or else you will look like a coward and that'll just be inviting more trouble your way.

4.) Don't talk about your problems and don't talk about other peoples problems.

5.) Do not trust ANYBODY

6.) never accept anything from anybody. never take anything you find on your bed... just brush it off on to the floor.

7.) Do not gamble. Do not take anything on loan. do not ask for favors.

8.) cigarettes are king.



*These sound like bad advice:*

1.) when you get in, go up to the biggest baddest mofo you see and beat him up.

2.) do anything in order to survive


_We are trying to reduce time in there w/o STD's right?_


Anyway, I've never been and am not trying to pretend I know what I'm talking about. Somethings you are just going to have to learn when you get in there. Oh and for that kung fu guy that did that post like he was steven seagal... one guy you could probably win. With two, you probably would not. With three, you would not. Just remember this quote "*Everybody thinks they can fight, Then they get hit with the truth*" I forget where I heard that. maybe mike tyson.

Oh and just a thought. I've read in this topic that jail/prison was like candyland to it is hell. It's useful when you guys say what country you were in and if in the US, what state.

soooo... if any of you jail vets have anything to add or if some of my assumptions are just plain wrong. please feel free to correct me.


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## blakkmask (Oct 16, 2009)

email said:


> *These sound like bad advice:*
> 
> 1.) when you get in, go up to the biggest baddest mofo you see and beat him up.
> 
> ...


So you would rather die than catch herpes? You'er committed


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## Airwave (Oct 16, 2009)

blakkmask said:


> So you would rather die than catch herpes? You'er committed


I'd rather die than do anything sexual with another man.

Better to die on your feet than live on your knees.


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## redivider (Oct 17, 2009)

i started reading some of the older posts on this thread...

all I gotta say is where i'm from a guy got thrown in jail because he did a hit n run while drunk, killed a kid. 

first day in jail they took a bottle (like a beer bottle) stuck it 3/4 inside his ass, broke off the bottom, pushed it all the way in. that mo'fo died that week from septic shock to his insides. didn't live to get his day in court.

prison where i'm from is not as simple as keeping to yourself, walking tall, blah blah blah..... 4 guys to a cell, 2 bunkbeds 1 on the floor. someone has to sleep on the toilet... FUCK THAT. jail ain't no joke, not here, i ain't ever going in either. 

as far as assraping, yeah, if you're going in, ur gonna get raped, if you killed a kid, or a woman or abused a kid or a woman, you're dying. PERIOD. no death penalty here, it's not an option, the highest you can get is life, unless it's a federal death-penalty case. but you're gonna die in prison if it's gotta do with kids or women, that's the way it is, your dead, within the month, it's guaranteed. 

inmates here conduct themselves rather militarily, only one "riot" in the past 2 years. if the inmates act up, no food for 3 days. keeps them nice and quiet. 

also, be prepared to suffer from forced insomnia, the prison guards play ULTRA loud music all night long, keeps inmates sleepy, also makes for a very tense atmosphere... still can't figure out why they do that... i consider it torture....

the only good thing bout the jails is nothing. bath 2 times a week, no sleep, little food, almost no water (flushing the toilet is limited, and the bird bath/sink works if you behave), yeah, the cows in the fields that are only good for making manure n milk have it better....

fuck going to prison, at least not where i'm from.....i'd rather post bail and skip... get on a goddam cargo boat and get my ass to a non-extradition country and start a new life w/ no family, no friends, no nothing.... ..


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## josh b (Oct 17, 2009)

the cops had to question me b4 and i had 3 super silver haze undeer my 400w hps in my bedroom lol with fans nd shit and lucky he diddnt wanna go upstairs im safe =) and also next year im gonna do a like major planation outside.

u dnt want ur neighbours seing u moivng ur lights nd that about or potting ur plants up if u keep a low profile itl be ok

nice thread =) every worries altleast once and heres were to go


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## shroomer33 (Oct 17, 2009)

redivider said:


> i started reading some of the older posts on this thread...
> 
> all I gotta say is where i'm from a guy got thrown in jail because he did a hit n run while drunk, killed a kid.
> 
> ...


WTF are you talking about? Where are you, Turkey? Mexico???


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## redivider (Oct 17, 2009)

nope. let's just say it's a commonwealth of the U.S. 

it's not where I am, it's where I grew up.

i'm born in the U.S. grew up in the commonwealth, moved back to the U.S. as soon as I could...


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## Mr.Therapy Man (Oct 17, 2009)

Hes from Virginia thats the only commonwealth I know of


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## InkJockey (Oct 21, 2009)

they have a book titled " Arrest-Proof Yourself" by dale c. carson and wes Denham... also free for download online... the book is written by an ex cop... former FBI Agent and currently criminal defense attorny.

The books and a MUST READ and it broken down like so

Introduction: Talking Shop with an Old Cop ................................................1 
» PART I « 
CRIMINAL JUSTICE PLAYERS: 
COPS, BAD GUYS, THE CLUELESS HORDE 

1 New Plantations for New Generations ..................................................29 
2 To Hunt and Arrest Is the Quest of the Best ........................................50 
3 When Youre Living Free and Tall, 
Dont Become a Score in Police Pinball ..................................................61 
4 Getting Wise to Real Bad Guys ...............................................................76 
5 Get on Board with the Clueless Horde ...................................................83 
6 Those Freaking Jits Will Give You Fits ...................................................95 
7 Why Minorities Get Hammered ...........................................................109 
8 Law Enforcement Shouldnt Give a Pass 
to All Those Crooks in the Middle Class .............................................122 
9 Some Modest Suggestions ......................................................................132 
» PART II « 
ARREST PROOFING ON THE STREETS 

10 Cop a Tude and You Get Screwed .......................................................139 
11 Dirty Cop Tricks .....................................................................................142 
12 Peekaboo! Peekaboo! Dont Let Big Bad Cops See You ....................147 
13 Whatcha Gonna Do When They Come for You? ...............................158 
14 Blue Light? Stay Out of Sight! ...............................................................161
15 If You Lie, the Cops Will Pry ................................................................164 
16 Mama Was Right: Stay Home at Night! ..............................................170 
17 You Can Win by Giving In ....................................................................173 
18 To Avoid the Tragic, Use Words That Are Magic ..............................177 
19 Street Creds Are Tops for Dealing with Cops ....................................184 
20 There Aint No Hope When You Carry Dope ....................................193 
21 Emergency Procedures ..........................................................................197 
22 When Girls Tell a Tale That Sends You to Jail ....................................202 
» PART III « 
ARREST PROOFING IN YOUR CAR 
23 Citizen Inspection? Revenue Collection? Or Driver Protection? ....213 
24 Mirror, Mirror in the Car, Will the Cops Stay Near or Far? ............223 
25 Staying Free During a Tra&#64259;c Stop 
Means the Guy Who Loses Is the Cop ................................................235 
26 To Be Searched or Not to Be Searched? That Is the Question! ........241 
27 Tips That Never Fail to Keep You Out of Jail ......................................250 
28 Car Creds Are the Key to Keep You Free ............................................255 
29 Dont Get in a Lurch. Do a Search! ......................................................263 
30 You Can Tell Cops Toodle-oo 
When You Squirt the Yellow Goo ........................................................270 

» PART IV « 
AIDS TO LEARNING 
The Golden Rules ..........................................................................................277 
The Magic Words ..........................................................................................277 
Index ...............................................................................................................279


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## email (Oct 23, 2009)

redivider said:


> i started reading some of the older posts on this thread...
> 
> all I gotta say is where i'm from a guy got thrown in jail because he did a hit n run while drunk, killed a kid.
> 
> ...


 
doesn't sound like you've ever even been in. your the only one saying anything like this. sounds like its 50/50 bullcrap with some truth.


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## panhead (Oct 23, 2009)

email said:


> doesn't sound like you've ever even been in. your the only one saying anything like this. sounds like its 50/50 bullcrap with some truth.


whats up email ,long time no see,anyhow i think your right,along with the poster you pointed out most posters in this thread have not did one lick of time in any pennatentary or prison. alot of posts read like a made for tv movie instead of real life experience especially the moron saying to pick out the biggest guy & kick his ass,try that shit in any michigan prison & he'd be clipping some young bucks toe nails & all the other good stuff.


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## sambo020482 (Feb 10, 2010)

wicked thread just spent 2hrs reading the whole thing, have never been to prison in me life not even visited a prison my only prison knowledge is from t.v and reading but it defo seems like the uk is much more civilized about prison than most countrys the states especially.

panhead and the 420? cant member the full screen name seem to have the most to say and it certainly reads like the truth, plenty of bullshitters in the thread tho ive never been prison and even i could tell they were lying lol


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## UNICRONLIVES (Feb 10, 2010)

Well I went in at 23 and the best way was not to be a bad ass !! hell the hardest part of it is RDC!! And I cannot say enough about a strong woman to stand behind you even in the darkest times!!! oh yea! COMMONSARY!!!!


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## sweetsmell (Feb 11, 2010)

So did anyone else have the bob barker line of toothpaste and health care products?


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## CLOSETGROWTH (Feb 11, 2010)

I did almost 3 years... only advice I can give anyone is this.. Dont trust anyone in there, Lift weights, and dont ever snitch on anybody, and be good. The time will fly by only if you tell yourself *It aint no big deal* Be a grown man and do your time. You play, you pay... No whining allowed.


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## estesj (Feb 11, 2010)

40acres said:


> I thought since we are all dealing with illegal substances, i would start a thread on how to survive what migth be any of our outcomes. I went in at 18, and it was culture shock. I thougth that maybe some of us could give advice on how they got through it. And please, no bullshit.
> I will start with the best advice i ever heard, "Believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear"


Good thread! I went when I was 19 and did 3 years in FL. Stick with your race and city is how it goes down in FSP. We have allot of redneck Co's in north FL and they will beat your ass for no reason! I guess it varies from state to state. I have been arrested 17 times and I am 33, I have spent 6 years of those behind the fence. I have made so much money I would not trade it back for nothing. Just remember young bucks that doing time is part of the game! Good luck!


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## UNICRONLIVES (Feb 11, 2010)

redivider said:


> i started reading some of the older posts on this thread...
> 
> all I gotta say is where i'm from a guy got thrown in jail because he did a hit n run while drunk, killed a kid.
> 
> ...


 
holy fuck bro!! ive been in 3 diff. state pens and nothin even comes close to what you said!!! take your Vitamin R and quit watchin movies or talkin to people thats never been there. you prolly never even got put in gen pop(general population)!! worse you seen is prolly a drunk tank/detox!!


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## UNICRONLIVES (Feb 11, 2010)

estesj said:


> Good thread! I went when I was 19 and did 3 years in FL. Stick with your race and city is how it goes down in FSP. We have allot of redneck Co's in north FL and they will beat your ass for no reason! I guess it varies from state to state. I have been arrested 17 times and I am 33, I have spent 6 years of those behind the fence. I have made so much money I would not trade it back for nothing. Just remember young bucks that doing time is part of the game! Good luck!


my boy here knows what he's talkin bout! stick to your race/ block buddies and do your time!! if you are only lookin at afew yrs then most them boys in there wont fuck wit ya because they know!! NO BODY WANTS TO "STAY" IN THERE!!


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## ...... (Feb 11, 2010)

lol state an the county are to very different experiences.

I been charged as an adult since I was 15 for an armed robbery and got sent to the philly county jail and they had 8 of us in a cell for 3 months lol,That sucked so bad I was the only kid in it to which is very illegal for them to do.We were all eating good in there though.

Upstate is better if your not a bitch,the food and just about everything is better except for the people lol but thats where not being a bitch comes in at.

The best advice I can give to someone is dont give anything away if you do you will be labled a straight bitch that's paying someone taxes.
Try an get someone in there to pay you taxes just get cool with them an get them to give you some of that commi every week or beat that ass lol.

You cant really keep to yourself its best to get cool with people it will make the time easier to.
For fun I would talk allot of shit to the co's lol.
And if I couldn't sleep I would make sure the whole block couldn't.


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## ...... (Feb 11, 2010)

redivider said:


> nope. let's just say it's a commonwealth of the U.S.
> 
> it's not where I am, it's where I grew up.
> 
> i'm born in the U.S. grew up in the commonwealth, moved back to the U.S. as soon as I could...


lol the only common wealth I know of is the commonwealth of pennsylvania trying to convict me.


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## BigBudBandit (Feb 11, 2010)

I've been to prison and general population ain't too bad, just keep ya head up and stick to ur own group of people, don't go wandering. It's kinda like boarding but every1 is ur enemy. Just stay outta the hole by staying outta truble. Lockdown is wat seperates the boys from the men, I went crazy while I was segregated and started talking to bugs on the floor and shit. If ur white, then hang with the whites; if ur black then chill with the blacks, don't try and be mr.diversity or ull get ur ass handed to u. Doesn't mean ur racist it's just how things work in prison, stay in groups or some1 will make u their ragdoll bitch with benefeits if u know wat I mean.


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## Hauvert (Feb 12, 2010)

damn....i read this from beginning to end...kinda felt like a R E A L L Y intense movie. holy fuck.


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## mtnbiker (Feb 13, 2010)

i never thought my first post would be in this thread - jesus christ i started over an hour ago and read the whole damn thing

thanks for sharing guys; it was a real eye-opener. oh; and now im watching old episodes of locked-up abroad... wtf have you guys done to me?


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## triconomics (Feb 14, 2010)

Fuck, I am resolving to become now the best outdoor grower I can become.

After my plants finish I am done indoor forever. Fuck prison and fuck lowlife cops. And fuck America, this country would be nothing without hemp which is what it is to me right now.

I would rather live in peace where I live than worry constantly about the subhuman cops games. If I go dry I am going to buy weed to support drug dealers and gangs who can go to prison and help bankrupt this country as fast as possible. 

I have also resolved that I cannot help bring about the change I want if I can be legally leveraged against using my hobby.

Good luck to everyone.

I can help though with not getting caught.

Don't try to grow big and be the "big" grower they get popped. Use LED lights. Change out your house light bulbs with LED's to off-set your grow lights. I took note of which lights were used the most and changed them out. So instead of using 650 watts for some areas it now uses 30 watts total. That translates into virtually offsetting totally on a energy bill what would be a 400-600 watt grow set-up with all the fans included. This is what I did and checked back through the electric bills. You could never figure it out. And of course don't tell anyone.

Outgrow the government though. They are only a bunch of degenerate sub-humans who go after average ppl of little things while they allow the rape and pillage of trillions of dollars worth of wealth and make laws to protect the ppl who do it and themselves.


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## plutomoney (Feb 25, 2010)

keep to yourself nothing is free and keep you mouth closed


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## FEElAYYY (Mar 4, 2010)

Stay quiet and observe. Find a few homies you fit in with. Dont talk to much juss listen. dont smile a lot frown.


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## sm0keyrich510 (Mar 4, 2010)

i can't speak on how to survive prison as i never been...*knock on wood*

however i can share a few things that have worked in keeping me OUT of prison. 


first things first...if you dont have to tell someone...DONT. its much easier to get caught the more people know (or are involved...not just in MJ either). 

dont trust anyone. observe and take notes...dont be giving them the notes to take...dont say if you're growing or whatever you're doing...keep it quite. 

if you should encounter the cops be prepared. dont have your illegal substances in your car out in the open...already have planned ahead and have it secured somewhere (like the trunk). when the cops ask you questions have your answers prepared in advance. like when you leave (and mattering where you're going) be prepared to answer questions like "where are you headed? is there anything illegal in the car? what are you doing when you go to your destination? where did you come from" etc.

cops can tell when you're lying especially if you're thinking up answers on the spot. 

Never act nervously. never admit guilt. 

the best thing to do if you are being put under arrest is to SHUT THE FU*K UP!!! ALWAYS! and ASK FOR A LAWYER.


No matter what they say or ask you just close your mouth. whatever you say will only hurt you in the end...not get you out of trouble.

thats always worked for me...tell them nothing and they will have nothing on you if you are smart about how you conduct business.


BE PARANOID! thats also a good thing to do. its better to be overly cautious than arrogant and cocky and windup getting caught for something stupid...or even robbed.


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## sknkman818 (Mar 8, 2010)

http://www.hulu.com/watch/56914/30-days-jail So yeah, super size me guy goes to jail for 30 days


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