# Weirdest Sexual Request You Got?



## Stormfront (Mar 21, 2008)

just anything out of the norm you've encountered in a sexual experience....

I had a chick who got turned on by lightly dragging a knife across her chest, she also told me that she had once masturbated with a pistol(she didn't know if it was loaded)

i also messed with a girl who's fantasy was a rape scenario....shit the knife was weird enough, i absolutely despise rapists though couldn't do it

but im all about gettin rough, slapping biting hair pulling pushing holding down...lol maybe im just fucked up though...anyone else?


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## Garden Knowm (Mar 21, 2008)

The weirdest sexual encounter I had.. was.. ONCE.. just once.. this girl didn't want to have sex with me.... fooking weird shit..

iloveyou


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## Bamm Bamm (Mar 21, 2008)

Garden Knowm said:


> The weirdest sexual encounter I had.. was.. ONCE.. just once.. this girl didn't want to have sex with me.... fooking weird shit..
> 
> iloveyou


 

LOL.. I've never had that expierence luckily=)...

I had some girl that wanted to blow me while her husband watched... I let her..


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## mexiblunt (Mar 21, 2008)

yeah i had a gf want the rape scenario. I couldn't do it either. I gave it a shot and thought she would cave after a bit but she didn't and i had to stop.


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## Liquidfire13 (Mar 21, 2008)

Basically, Im a student and get wasted regually, i've been friends with this couple since i started uni, it just another night, and i was out on the piss, unlike usual i wasnt that drunk before i got to the club, my friend and I ordered drinks at the same time, i remember bumping into the girl of this couple, and seeing a few more mates, then blank. Absolutely blank. I figure it must have been about 2 hours later when my next memory is pulling a girl, then realising it was my mates gf.. so, for some reason we decide to go home, get a cab, ( i can barely remember any of this ) - This we end up back at mine, fumblering around in my bed, ( I wont go any further here, but you can imagine... ) so the next day she sneeks out, and i talk to my mate about last night, apparently he cant remember a huge portion of the night either, so we agree we were drugged...
So later that week, I'm absolutely stoned watched the new futurama film, and i hear a knock on my door, and im like yeh who is it? and no answer, im like thats strange, the door handle rattles, so i get up to open it. My mate smashes into the door, and i holding it in place, but the whole door is bending so i let it go, he starts hitting me, and i grab him and plant my face into his chest so he cant mess my face up, my housemates pull him off, he screams how could you! hits me again, and runs off. 
I had an empty whiskey bottle on the floor, and apparently my housemates said he picked it up and was about to smash it round my face but dropped it...

I later find out that his gf told him, but all she said was that we kissed. Fucked up?
Anyway, things are ok now..


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## Chiceh (Mar 21, 2008)

A prior boyfriend years ago before hubby, requested that I wear high heels/stilettos while having sex and such. I did it a few times to humour him, but when he started buying me shoes to wear all the time and wanting it all the time, that is when I knew there was an issue. Needless to say it didn't last too much longer, lol. Is that wierd or just me? , lol


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## mexiblunt (Mar 21, 2008)

You gota watch your drink. I live in a small town, when there was some construction guys staying at the hotel/bar one of them drugged my moms drink. lucky she noticed something wasn't right and made it home before any bad shit went down like what happened to those guys .lol.


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## mexiblunt (Mar 21, 2008)

Chiceh said:


> A prior boyfriend years ago before hubby, requested that I wear high heels/stilettos while having sex and such. I did it a few times to humour him, but when he started buying me shoes to wear all the time and wanting it all the time, that is when I knew there was an issue. Needless to say it didn't last too much longer, lol. Is that wierd or just me? , lol


 To each thier own I guess? I find it strange cause it's not something i'm into but you know, I would probably humour the person and like you said if theres a deeper issue then get away.


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## boooky (Mar 21, 2008)

Girl stuck her finger in my butt in highschool.......I felt like Jesus it was the first time I moved across the room with my mind....Now I hold females wrists.....I gotta do them dirty now

Edit: hell yeah a puma? What the hell........


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## Chiceh (Mar 21, 2008)

Ya to each their own I guess, lol. 



mexiblunt said:


> To each thier own I guess? I find it strange cause it's not something i'm into but you know, I would probably humour the person and like you said if theres a deeper issue then get away.


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## purpletrainwreck (Mar 21, 2008)

october (Beer) fest in san francisco 07- looking for the big german girl who carried, yes carried my drunk ass over a block.. you were with 2 of your other friends and didn't speak much english... I didn't know what your plans were with me but I recently saw euro trip that's why I ran and got into that taxi with some girl (who I did have sex withlater that night at my place.) but anyway what were your plans with me.. ?
Also why did you chase me for over a block... for a 6 foot 3 ish german girl you can book it.


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## Barrelhse (Mar 21, 2008)

People are always asking me to go fuck myself.


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## mastakoosh (Mar 21, 2008)

once i had a girl give me oral and kept trying to get near or play with my rectum lol. i said no no baby, koosh dont get down like that. she was actually an ex friends woman at the time and told me and all my boys that her man liked her to finger his butt lol...ewww. we would always get baked and laugh about it.....saying his farts always sounded funny, like bllllllloooommmpphhh with a bubble bursting sound at the end. like bllllooooomph-POPwhoosh hahahaha.


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## one million (Mar 22, 2008)

Had a gf who liked to be choked during sex (autofixation?)


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## Stormfront (Mar 22, 2008)

forgot to mention the chick who got off on literally fighting me...actually kinda fun i took it easy cuz i was much bigger than her but damn i had bruises on my neck from her choking me she had them on her arms from the slamming against walls that shit was a mess, but strangely very arousing....had one try the butt thing....no dice i pinched hard quick, even with a whole bottle of lube nothing was going up there lol


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## Twistyman (Mar 22, 2008)

I don't know about a pistol, but I found my girlfreind with my drumstick up her box. I wouldn,t have minded but shit they were my best sticks and they never smelled the same again. Fuck I really had to hide my cymbal mallets


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## Bamm Bamm (Mar 23, 2008)

mexiblunt said:


> To each thier own I guess? I find it strange cause it's not something i'm into but you know, I would probably humour the person and like you said if theres a deeper issue then get away.


I the high hell thing sometimes but I've definately never asked for it all the time or anything it's a every once in awhile kind of thing=)


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## Senor SmokeAlot (Mar 23, 2008)

Chiceh said:


> A prior boyfriend years ago before hubby, requested that I wear high heels/stilettos while having sex and such. I did it a few times to humour him, but when he started buying me shoes to wear all the time and wanting it all the time, that is when I knew there was an issue. Needless to say it didn't last too much longer, lol. Is that wierd or just me? , lol


 
hey chiceh i think its hot as hell when girls wear high heels/stilettos,like those stripper shoes.but shes got to have her feet taken care off. me personally i love everything about women, from head to toe. my girl'll dress up for me and shit, always a good time. no girl can freak me i'm just to nasty


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## Mr. Maryjane (Mar 23, 2008)

I never remember it, but I've been told, by anybody I've drank with, about some freaky shit goin down. I do remember the one time(I wasn't drinkin yet, just smokin) some chick was comin on to me hardcore, like no subtlety at all, and once we got in a dif. room, she fuckin attacked me. I didn't really fight back much, but everytime I did she'd moan. after 15 min. or so, she started tearing off my clothes. I guess I kinda got raped, sorta. but the entire time I was like wtf, then when clothes started flyin I just gave up tryin to figure out what the hell was happening. she ended up being kinky as FUCK.


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## Stormfront (Mar 23, 2008)

Mr. Maryjane said:


> I never remember it, but I've been told, by anybody I've drank with, about some freaky shit goin down. I do remember the one time(I wasn't drinkin yet, just smokin) some chick was comin on to me hardcore, like no subtlety at all, and once we got in a dif. room, she fuckin attacked me. I didn't really fight back much, but everytime I did she'd moan. after 15 min. or so, she started tearing off my clothes. I guess I kinda got raped, sorta. but the entire time I was like wtf, then when clothes started flyin I just gave up tryin to figure out what the hell was happening. she ended up being kinky as FUCK.


lol i feel ya bro, was at a college party gettin baked an this chick walks in blows smoke in my face sits on my lap and says blowing smoke in my face means she wants to fuck me...so being a guy i stand up and announce we're going to the next room...then she got crazy started chokin me an shit tellin me to slap her across the face...that shit kinda hurt so i did lol and she starts moanin...long story short i think she damaged my liver, and cracked a rib, maybe gave me a concussion, and she had ripped all of my clothes...like literally ripped them off me....she was fun in bed though so i wasn't complaining...on call all year after that


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## farway (Mar 23, 2008)

i've had a couple gf's who were into the rape thing. it's not really my thing tho, so i never did it.

oh, and i had another gf one time who had sex with me while i was asleep. it was pretty weird cause i didn't totally wake up, i just had a hard on and she started riding me in my sleep. but it was cool at the same time, sex and sleep are two of my favourite things!


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## DND (Mar 23, 2008)

Yeahh, worrd
I remember I met this one bitch
Cause you know me I don't see how I'm the nasty motherfucker
I just thought I thought I'da did anything in the world (yeh?)
I meets this one bitch, I comes up in the spot, or whatever
The bitch got the candles lit or whatever, so
She tell me whatever she wanna get her freak on whatever
So I'm like WHASSUP whatchu wanna yaknahmsayin
I'm read to wear it out or whatever (kssss)
The bitch told me she wanted me to shit on her! _[laughing]_
Ya know shit I was like whatchu mean shit?
I mean I might shit on you after I, hit it I won't call you no more
Shit on you like that _[more laughing]_
She talkin about no she want me to cock over her
And shit, on her stomach! _[laughing through his teeth]_
I said bitch what the, what the fuck??
What the fuck I'm sposed to do after I after I shit on her
I'm sposed to hit that after that?
She's just wilding out so after I shits on the bitch right
_[both start laughing]_
Ya know I shit, after I shits on the bitch
The bitch, ya know, washed that shit off or whatever
(Ohhh shit!)


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## DND (Mar 23, 2008)

^^^^^^

Anyone know who said that?


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## Mr. Maryjane (Mar 24, 2008)

storm front, I get kinda numb to pain when I smoke, so I was only confused. and for sure If I ever see that chick again I'm doin that again. I did have a nasty gash on my forehead after it though. but it was definately worth it.


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## spoot (Mar 24, 2008)

i was a kid, touring around the country and came across this woman that was a lot older than i. i was 16-17 she was around 30-35 but very hot. she took me to her house outside of LA (big fucking mansion) i guess her man was gone on business. so we're in her bedroom (bigger than my house) then got naked and left the room with me in it. she came back with a bowl full of pealed plums. i asked what was going on and she said that she wanted me to throw them at her ass from across the room. i thought for a moment "this is one crazy bitch" but then said "give me the bowl" she went over to the door and bent over with her hands on the door and ass in the air. the first two missed......the third DIRECT HIT!! after all the plums were smashed she gave me the craziest head i've ever had. i'm 32 years old now and still that was the craziest shit ever.


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## DND (Mar 24, 2008)

spoot said:


> i was a kid, touring around the country and came across this woman that was a lot older than i. i was 16-17 she was around 30-35 but very hot. she took me to her house outside of LA (big fucking mansion) i guess her man was gone on business. so we're in her bedroom (bigger than my house) then got naked and left the room with me in it. she came back with a bowl full of pealed plums. i asked what was going on and she said that she wanted me to throw them at her ass from across the room. i thought for a moment "this is one crazy bitch" but then said "give me the bowl" she went over to the door and bent over with her hands on the door and ass in the air. the first two missed......the third DIRECT HIT!! after all the plums were smashed she gave me the craziest head i've ever had. i'm 32 years old now and still that was the craziest shit ever.


What the FUCK? Wasting perfectly good plums should be a sin.


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## farway (Mar 24, 2008)

oh yeah. another crazy request i had was from a gf who wanted me to find random things in our apartment to stick in her cunny so that she could guess what they were. at first it was fun, but i got bored real fast...."let's just do it already!"


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## Stormfront (Mar 25, 2008)

DND said:


> ^^^^^^
> 
> Anyone know who said that?


wasn't that biggie? haven't heard that in years


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## DND (Mar 25, 2008)

Stormfront said:


> wasn't that biggie? haven't heard that in years


Yep, cracks me up every time I hear it.


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## aeroponics (Mar 25, 2008)

LOL this one girl mind you it was the first time i fucked her. we were on the h floor and im fucking the shit out of her and she is like come on harder... so im doin it pretty much as hard as I can and she is like dead serious not even enjoying it that much.... HARDER harder... "come on I no you can fuck me harder" not to mention im pretty built and a pretty big guy. 6 foot 220.... so I am smashing this bitch with all my might it actually hurts my dick im getting rug burn im pulling my dick out right untill the head is like out of the pussy and then im ramming it full speed hard as I can as if man kind depended on me fucking her as hard as I could lol this went on for about twenty minutes and im sweating like a pig and had to stop the next day I could barely walk...Bruises on my thighs rug burn. and my dick hurt to touch or get hard it was pretty crazy... and it may not sound like much but it was crazier than the girls who wanted me to piss lol


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## pinksensa (Mar 25, 2008)

and did you piss on them??



aeroponics said:


> LOL this one girl mind you it was the first time i fucked her. we were on the h floor and im fucking the shit out of her and she is like come on harder... so im doin it pretty much as hard as I can and she is like dead serious not even enjoying it that much.... HARDER harder... "come on I no you can fuck me harder" not to mention im pretty built and a pretty big guy. 6 foot 220.... so I am smashing this bitch with all my might it actually hurts my dick im getting rug burn im pulling my dick out right untill the head is like out of the pussy and then im ramming it full speed hard as I can as if man kind depended on me fucking her as hard as I could lol this went on for about twenty minutes and im sweating like a pig and had to stop the next day I could barely walk...Bruises on my thighs rug burn. and my dick hurt to touch or get hard it was pretty crazy... and it may not sound like much but it was crazier than the girls who wanted me to piss lol


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## aeroponics (Mar 25, 2008)

yeah I pissed on them LOL of course... it was by request man


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## pinksensa (Mar 25, 2008)

aeroponics said:


> yeah I pissed on them LOL of course... it was by request man


lmao!!!!!!!! that fuckin rocks


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## gotdamunchies (Mar 25, 2008)

When I was about 22 I had this chick I worked with who was about 10 years older than me, ask me to video tape her while I was fuckin her, promising me that I could hold the camera and would never be in the shot. So I figured what the hell...

The whole time I was fucking her she was looking right in the camera telling her soon-to-be ex-huband what an asshole he was, how he never fucked her the right way, how small his dick was, and on and on and on....she showed it to him and they divorced.

At the time I didnt really give a shit, because I didnt know the guy...but as my twisted fuckin luck would have it, about 2 years later this couple moved into the apartment below me, and you guessed it, it was the ex-husband, and the chick that I had banged
My lease was up 2 months later and I moved the fuck right outta there...this dude was about 6'5" 300 lbs, all muscle and scary as shit..I knew if I stayed that they would eventually get into a fight and she would tell dude that the guy in the video was me and he would come kick my fuckin door in one day and beat the shit outta me...that was the longest 2 months of my life


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## aeroponics (Mar 25, 2008)

ok check this out. I banged this woman I was 18 she was 35. I dumped my goo on her stomach and said a few seconds later here let me get somthin to wipe it of cause she was just lying there..... so she says "O so your one of those guys?" and I was stunned didnt no what to think...Then she takes my cum and rubs it all over her belly like it was nuthin and went to sleep and that was it LOL kinda weird huh?


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## Bamm Bamm (Mar 25, 2008)

I love sluts!!!!!!!Cumsluts especially


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## boooky (Mar 25, 2008)

Bamm Bamm said:


> I love sluts!!!!!!!Cumsluts especially


I couldnt agree more.....When they bite at jizzims in the air like a dog on a sprinkler its awsome... If they expect me to go down they better be ready to play catch its only fair....


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## Stormfront (Mar 27, 2008)

boooky said:


> I couldnt agree more.....When they bite at jizzims in the air like a dog on a sprinkler its awsome... If they expect me to go down they better be ready to play catch its only fair....


LMAO got me rollin, i had this chick ask me how far i could blast from and have it still hit her, so i had her lay on the floor bout 5 feet away when i was finished plowin her and busted it...slow motion in an arch... that shit landed right in her eye and all i can clearly see when i think of it was when she tried to stand up she was temporarily blind and tripped an fell down, i wanted to help her but i was dyin lol


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## FilthyFletch (Mar 27, 2008)

I got these beat. 19 years old I always had tons of female kickin it buddies.I also always had tons of weed go figure lol anyways My friend has this party house so about 40 of us were there drinking and shit so I ggot out a 1/2 b and welll made the party fun then very sleepy.Its all dark music is playing some nice marley black lighs on and few girls and me are smoking away we were blowed had t have been about retarded from smoking.We kinda feel alsleep on the couch me and 4 girls.I remembered feeling something kinda rubbing on my leg and thigh and in my head I was just figuring it was them as we had all had fun together before I kinda opened my eyes in a high state and saw it was 2 other girls moms who had showed up at the party.Ok first off I wqas freaked as I had a qp on a tray I fell asleep with on my lap 4 partially naked girls sleeping on me and I wake up to 2 moms I knew granted they were single moms and hot like thier daughters.They knew me and I had a rep around to be who you found to get herbs.They made me get up and I thought I was in some trouble for getting everyone high and unconscious.They just walked in the house since the door wasnt locked and they knew it was a party house.Well long story short they wanted weed for free and I wasnt really wanting to give it up so basically I got molested by both until I said Id smoke with them upstairs.Hand to god that was my first threesome with the mothers of girls I had also slept with in 3 some too lol.So basically I had already had 3 some with these 2 moms daughters which was fun and then they had thier way with me.I was so high and my mind was so not processing what was happening but I fucking smile stayed on my face the whole time switching doggy style back and forth.That was agreat aprty and was well woth the weed lol


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## Cheese x Kush (Mar 27, 2008)

I know a girl that went with this Country boy after a all night rave and he asked her would she watch him fuck a frozen turkey lmao 

I think she watched him lol


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## russ0r (Mar 27, 2008)

aeroponics said:


> LOL this one girl mind you it was the first time i fucked her. we were on the h floor and im fucking the shit out of her and she is like come on harder... so im doin it pretty much as hard as I can and she is like dead serious not even enjoying it that much.... HARDER harder... "come on I no you can fuck me harder" not to mention im pretty built and a pretty big guy. 6 foot 220.... so I am smashing this bitch with all my might it actually hurts my dick im getting rug burn im pulling my dick out right untill the head is like out of the pussy and then im ramming it full speed hard as I can as if man kind depended on me fucking her as hard as I could lol this went on for about twenty minutes and im sweating like a pig and had to stop the next day I could barely walk...Bruises on my thighs rug burn. and my dick hurt to touch or get hard it was pretty crazy... and it may not sound like much but it was crazier than the girls who wanted me to piss lol


i don't think you're member was big enough for her bud :/



FilthyFletch said:


> I got these beat. 19 years old I always had tons of female kickin it buddies.I also always had tons of weed go figure lol anyways My friend has this party house so about 40 of us were there drinking and shit so I ggot out a 1/2 b and welll made the party fun then very sleepy.Its all dark music is playing some nice marley black lighs on and few girls and me are smoking away we were blowed had t have been about retarded from smoking.We kinda feel alsleep on the couch me and 4 girls.I remembered feeling something kinda rubbing on my leg and thigh and in my head I was just figuring it was them as we had all had fun together before I kinda opened my eyes in a high state and saw it was 2 other girls moms who had showed up at the party.Ok first off I wqas freaked as I had a qp on a tray I fell asleep with on my lap 4 partially naked girls sleeping on me and I wake up to 2 moms I knew granted they were single moms and hot like thier daughters.They knew me and I had a rep around to be who you found to get herbs.They made me get up and I thought I was in some trouble for getting everyone high and unconscious.They just walked in the house since the door wasnt locked and they knew it was a party house.Well long story short they wanted weed for free and I wasnt really wanting to give it up so basically I got molested by both until I said Id smoke with them upstairs.Hand to god that was my first threesome with the mothers of girls I had also slept with in 3 some too lol.So basically I had already had 3 some with these 2 moms daughters which was fun and then they had thier way with me.I was so high and my mind was so not processing what was happening but I fucking smile stayed on my face the whole time switching doggy style back and forth.That was agreat aprty and was well woth the weed lol


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## aeroponics (Mar 27, 2008)

russ0r said:


> i don't think you're member was big enough for her bud :/
> 
> 
> No its like 7 and a half inches she was just a blown out whore. I cant even put my dick all the way in my wife it hurts her.


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## ORECAL (Mar 27, 2008)

i have never gotten a weird sexual request. i always seem to end up with boring girls that just want me to do all the work.... I'm the one trying to add new shit to the sex, but it never works..... apparently I'm not very good at finding the nymphos


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## Mauihund (Oct 22, 2009)

mastakoosh said:


> once i had a girl give me oral and kept trying to get near or play with my rectum lol. i said no no baby, koosh dont get down like that. she was actually an ex friends woman at the time and told me and all my boys that her man liked her to finger his butt lol...ewww. we would always get baked and laugh about it.....saying his farts always sounded funny, like bllllllloooommmpphhh with a bubble bursting sound at the end. like bllllooooomph-POPwhoosh hahahaha.



Oh, damn! Laughed so hard, almost wet myself.


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## sunshine17542 (Oct 22, 2009)

Someone wanted to watch me pee. lol I thought it was quite odd. My friend donnie was asked to take a shit on someone lmao how nasty.


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## Vinvin (Oct 23, 2009)

Someone wanted me to pretend she was my bestfriend whom I was secretly in love with. I did.


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## Mauihund (Oct 23, 2009)

Back in the late 70's, a guy who was the lead entertainment for Don Ho was giving me rides to the Royal Hawaiian where I worked. One day he tells me he can get me weed, coke, anything. But he wanted to suck my dick, first. 

I don't know. Maybe if he didn't make me feel so cheep by putting it that way...?


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## sip166 (Oct 23, 2009)

some chick wanted to put a strap on on and fuck my friend in the ass. i laughed so hard when he told me


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## ironheadxl (Oct 28, 2009)

i used to "date this girl in college, date as in go out and eat something after fucking for hours then get back to it, loved her. anyways she had a girlfriend a very sexy tattoo'd punk hottie. SO we had this arrangement due to the fact we worked opposite hours her girlfriend and i. I would sleep with X while Y was out working and later when i was gone Y would get to have her girl on girl wrestle mania. Z the object du jour would sneek in sleep inbetween rounds. Did five months like that never did get the two of them though but a very nice time to have enjoyed bfore moving west.


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## Knickers (Oct 28, 2009)

FilthyFletchs story is awesome amazing but lol @ frozen turkey


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## Dr. Greenhorn (Oct 28, 2009)

this hot chick I used to date always asked if she could put her finger in my ass when I cum,, I said sure, if you lick your finger after. she always said okay. but I always told her fuck that! exit only!! but she was a freak.... damn, I miss her


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## cloned (Oct 28, 2009)

lots of women have the rape fantasy. go all out, but have a word that the both of you know. thats the word that means stop. and ya better stop.


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## Anonymiss1969 (Oct 28, 2009)

There was a girl that I dated for a while and then broke up with. About a month later we started having "casual sex"... usually when I got wasted and called her at 2 in the morning. One night I was shit faced drunk... Showed up there and we fucked and after we were done I passed out. I later woke up and we were fucking again so I just thought, "oh sweet" and got to it. The next morning she said that she woke up in the middle of the night and I was hard so she just kinda scooted up to my dick and got it inside of here and started goin at it... It was pretty great.


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## skywalker39963 (Oct 28, 2009)

aeroponics said:


> LOL this one girl mind you it was the first time i fucked her. we were on the h floor and im fucking the shit out of her and she is like come on harder... so im doin it pretty much as hard as I can and she is like dead serious not even enjoying it that much.... HARDER harder... "come on I no you can fuck me harder" not to mention im pretty built and a pretty big guy. 6 foot 220.... so I am smashing this bitch with all my might it actually hurts my dick im getting rug burn im pulling my dick out right untill the head is like out of the pussy and then im ramming it full speed hard as I can as if man kind depended on me fucking her as hard as I could lol this went on for about twenty minutes and im sweating like a pig and had to stop the next day I could barely walk...Bruises on my thighs rug burn. and my dick hurt to touch or get hard it was pretty crazy... and it may not sound like much but it was crazier than the girls who wanted me to piss lol


same thing went down when i banged my friends cousin she was a ho bag


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## morgentaler (Oct 28, 2009)

skywalker39963 said:


> same thing went down when i banged my friends cousin she was a ho bag


It must be that! That you can't get the women off because they're whores!

Maybe both you guys don't have dicks as big as you thought, and the guys those girls used to have sex with were a hell of a lot bigger than you.

If you can't get the job done with your dick, switch up your game.

You guys must have some humility left though, if you can tell the internet you weren't cut out for the job


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## skywalker39963 (Nov 1, 2009)

for the record it was my first time humpin and also i know i got what it takes i got the scares on my back to prove it


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## skywalker39963 (Nov 1, 2009)

also she proclaimed her hObaGistic ways when she warnd me to were a condom 
i refused


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## Woodstock.Hippie (Nov 1, 2009)

One of my girlfriends used to like to clean things up with her tongue. 
That was nice.

Some folks like to look at feet, others like to show off their emperor shoes.


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## morgentaler (Nov 1, 2009)

Woodstock.Hippie said:


> One of my girlfriends used to like to clean things up with her tongue.
> .


I bet she left streaks all over the windows


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## SmokeyMcChokey (Nov 1, 2009)

wow. well no rape scenarios for me. an ex once asked for me to cum into a cup so she could keep it... needless to say i figured nothing good could come out of her having a cup o jizz ( she was a hellacious practical joker). i still to this day have n o clue why she wanted my baby batter but that struck me as odd.


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## SmokeyMcChokey (Nov 1, 2009)

morgentaler said:


> It must be that! That you can't get the women off because they're whores!
> 
> Maybe both you guys don't have dicks as big as you thought, and the guys those girls used to have sex with were a hell of a lot bigger than you.
> 
> ...


hahahahahahaha


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## SmokeyMcChokey (Nov 1, 2009)

morgentaler said:


> I bet she left streaks all over the windows


 hahaha got damn man your killin me. i havent laughed that hard in a while. that an the fresh snow white makes it easier.


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## Brevity, The Soul Of Wit! (Nov 1, 2009)

"Spread your cheeks and lift your sack"


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## morgentaler (Nov 1, 2009)

You knew my grandpa too???


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## fishindog (Nov 1, 2009)

mastakoosh said:


> once i had a girl give me oral and kept trying to get near or play with my rectum lol. i said no no baby, koosh dont get down like that. she was actually an ex friends woman at the time and told me and all my boys that her man liked her to finger his butt lol...ewww. we would always get baked and laugh about it.....saying his farts always sounded funny, like bllllllloooommmpphhh with a bubble bursting sound at the end. like bllllooooomph-POPwhoosh hahahaha.



HAHAHAHAHA this made me laugh soooooooooo fucking hard!!!!! maybe its just cuz im high but that shit is hilarious 
The sounds effects were perfect.....hahaha


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## FuZZyBUDz (Nov 1, 2009)

my girl runs a escort agency and ive heard the WEIRDEST shit u could imagine..and they live in cali neighborhoods neer u! mayb even on here!!

now keep in mind, sum girls fuck, sum dont. but regardless my girl just answers the phones (not a stripper) and she cant say anything about sex....

iv heard..

(*bold* is guy, reg is my girl)

''*umm do u do anal?* im not full service,* OH no no,umm......on.....*you? *YEA!* of course. *well how about two people, its me and my buddy...''*

or

''*hi! i was wondering if u would just come over i will leave the door unlocked and just walk in and pee on me...ill leave 100 $$$ on the table, just do it no werds exchanged, would u do that???''*

and we got a girl to do it tooo! hahahaaa

theres much weirder im just a lil baked fer the morning tyme!

hahah peace!


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## eric.cartman (Nov 1, 2009)

i once knew this female that would want to give me head or get fucked in public. not weird or is it?


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## Brevity, The Soul Of Wit! (Nov 1, 2009)

Gettin head in semi-publics cool.


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## tea tree (Nov 1, 2009)

I was in the hospital. I was in it for serious alcohol poisoning. They ativaned the shit out of me. I was in my own room in this hospital asleep for seven days. Anyway during the seven days I remember this nurse, in what I thought was a dream, tying me up and forcing herself on me. I kept screaming wait!, I am down too. Lol, just untie me and we can have some fun. She wouldnt do it, just tied me up and had her way. I thought it was a dream and all hazy from barbituates I drifted awake and alseep for days. When I fully awoke I was tied up for real. I thought all clear, fuck what did I do. Then in walks another nurse. I never saw. She said apparantly I had tried to get up for a cigarette over and over. Wow, I said. I had a crazy dream. Then in walks the nurse, the one from my dream! I was still out of it, but years later all sobered up I am pretty sure this bitch raped me! Lol, she was ugly but damn I would have complied. I wonder why she kept me tied up.


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## PoBox123 (Nov 1, 2009)

eric.cartman said:


> i once knew this female that would want to give me head or get fucked in public. not weird or is it?


 
Ok Here is my story. I lived in Alabama for about six months. I met this chick that was kinda hot "great body" butter face girl, ya know.

Anyway, the first time we had sex it was pretty good she had great pussy,nice tits and smelled real good.

After I nutted, we were just kicking it, laying in bed watching tv smoking a bowl or two.

After we get high, she moved to the end of the bed and spread her legs and asked me to play with her pussy with my toes.

I was like WTF?? But went with it. The bitch got nutty she was grabing my ankle and trying to shove my foot in her box while I was moving my toes to rub her clit.

I was trying not to laugh, but she was into it hardcore like.

She fucking howled like a beagle when she came. 

Craziest shit I ever seen. She joined the army about 2 months later and left town.

I think about her ever now and then.

Fucked up huh?!?


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## Brevity, The Soul Of Wit! (Nov 1, 2009)

ROFL!! Funny shit.


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## Roseman (Nov 1, 2009)

I dated a girl once, who kept wanting me to screw her in her ear!

Yep, everytime I got on my knees up over her to stick my pecker in her mouth, she turned her head sideways!


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## FuZZyBUDz (Nov 1, 2009)

WAT THE FUK!!! hahahahahahaaaaaa EAR! damn thats crazy ass shit!!


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## morgentaler (Nov 2, 2009)

She was just being a good sport and trying to provide him with a tight fit


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## heyguy901 (Nov 3, 2009)

tea tree said:


> I was in the hospital. I was in it for serious alcohol poisoning. They ativaned the shit out of me. I was in my own room in this hospital asleep for seven days. Anyway during the seven days I remember this nurse, in what I thought was a dream, tying me up and forcing herself on me. I kept screaming wait!, I am down too. Lol, just untie me and we can have some fun. She wouldnt do it, just tied me up and had her way. I thought it was a dream and all hazy from barbituates I drifted awake and alseep for days. When I fully awoke I was tied up for real. I thought all clear, fuck what did I do. Then in walks another nurse. I never saw. She said apparantly I had tried to get up for a cigarette over and over. Wow, I said. I had a crazy dream. Then in walks the nurse, the one from my dream! I was still out of it, but years later all sobered up I am pretty sure this bitch raped me! Lol, she was ugly but damn I would have complied. I wonder why she kept me tied up.


dude that's so bull shit i'll call it.


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## heyguy901 (Nov 3, 2009)

yeah one time i was at a party and i was really drunk and got head from this girl in the parking lot behind the house where the party was taking place, anyways i was dry humping her and she puts her hand on my ass, and i dont' think anything of it, then she starts making her way down to my asshole and i start moving my ass keep her from going down there. needless to say i never talked to her or saw her again. oh yeah and i just met her that night lol


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## redivider (Nov 3, 2009)

yeah, the weirdest thing has been when they try to finger you in the ass... :S, didn't know it was that common...

i've fucked girls in the ass tho, bitches cry the first few times, after the 3rd time tho, they love it.... buajaja


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## morgentaler (Nov 3, 2009)

I find that's always an effective way to keep some drunk from dry humping me.


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## Woodstock.Hippie (Nov 4, 2009)

I've heard women excitedly discussing the way men excitedly ejaculate when their prostates are tickled.


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## japan4 (Nov 4, 2009)

been asked to wear jandles

had plenty of kinky girls not sure where to start few wanted it in the ass
my ex brought her hand cuffs home from work tried to put them on me i got them on her and fucked her in the ass

night before last a girl got me to fist her.... its pretty weird in there once you can fit your whole hand in like a warm sock puppet

had 3,4,5 girls at one time
one girl watch me with her sister


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## Roseman (Nov 4, 2009)

Woodstock.Hippie said:


> I've heard women excitedly discussing the way men excitedly ejaculate when their prostates are tickled.


 
the old PROSTATE PUSH works for me, she knows when to finish me off and how to do it too.


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## 88malice (Nov 5, 2009)

Ahh lol rose, tmi


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## clovergs99 (Nov 5, 2009)

DND said:


> Yeahh, worrd
> I remember I met this one bitch
> Cause you know me I don't see how I'm the nasty motherfucker
> I just thought I thought I'da did anything in the world (yeh?)
> ...



YOU have been listening to Notorious B.I.G. a little too much. That story never happened to you. FAIL


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## JN811 (Nov 5, 2009)

i too have had a girl try to stick her finger in my ass while fucking, i dont know where these bitches get this info that guys like that shit..a rim jobs a diffrent story, jk lol except if ur a closet homo, haha


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## Imlovinit (Nov 5, 2009)

Wow I need to get out more. I had a girl ask me to tie her up and bang her. That's about it.


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## swishatwista (Nov 5, 2009)

An ear fuck? how would that work besides fillin that shit up like a tea cup( bustin in her ear). And whats the "ol' prostate tickler" or w/e, i dont even think i wanna know. For me, the ol' work a bitch over, always works for me. Women are freaks, hands down, but iv never heard any "far out" requests. But a good style is lay her on the floor and on her stomach and get on top and just beat it into the ground. humm umm, good shit...thinking of gross, literally "shit" stories, i got one a friend encountered back in the day. 

So him and some bitch went out on a date, they ate their meal at some place then went back to his place to do the do. And while they were fuckin, he really got the urge to shit, he told her he had to and she told him to wait, then it got worse and he had to go bad, he was like ahh fuck it i gotta go to the bathroom. She said no fuck that, and stuck her thumb and told him to hold it until he came. (thats not even the f'ed up part). he came shortly after that and in that same lil time span he just shit everywhere. He was like I am really sry but you told me to hold it, so he went in the bath room and cleaned up, imbarressed. He came back into the room and she was swimming in it...!!!! She told him that she slipped some lacksatives earlier, which made for some explosive shit....story over but how fucked up is that...doodee on the sheets with lovin it lol, fuck


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## MaiaPax (Nov 7, 2009)

My hubby dick slaps me in the face every night


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## Woodstock.Hippie (Nov 7, 2009)

Ear Fuck = Very Funny Joke

and does not involve teacups but instead displays someone turning their head away because they didn't like a stinky dick shoved in their face.

To find out what a prostate tickler is, follow these instructions:

Get a vasectomy.

Two weeks later, tell the nurse you are having difficulty ejaculating for your sample.

Hopefully she, not he, will expertly demonstrate the prostate tickler for you.


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## MidnightBaker (Nov 8, 2009)

Chiceh said:


> A prior boyfriend years ago before hubby, requested that I wear high heels/stilettos while having sex and such. I did it a few times to humour him, but when he started buying me shoes to wear all the time and wanting it all the time, that is when I knew there was an issue. Needless to say it didn't last too much longer, lol. Is that wierd or just me? , lol


Its only wierd if you think so....


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## delaner59 (Nov 8, 2009)

I had a girl who liked to finger my butthole. Also she liked it rough. I've had several girls who liked to have a vibrator on their clit while we were fucking. Once I was fucking this business woman who was petty up tight and right before I started to cum I stuck my finger in her ass. It was hilarious.


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## puffntuff (Nov 8, 2009)

I've gone ass to mouth on 3 girls and the thing is it was never my idea!!! I was getting sucked the other day when this bitch starts sucking my balls so I'm like where you going then bam the bitch is licking my kester I'm like whoa whoa I Anita with this shit just suck it!!!!! I also had this bitch fuck her in a bar bathroom. I had a bitch tell me the first time we fucked if we do it the shower I'll let you cum in my ass !!! Had a bitch that liked to get punched HARD IN THE FACE BEFORE WE COULD FUCK. I've had some weird ass hoes but I love em all!!!!!


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## The Real Peter Parker (Nov 8, 2009)

This is a story I tell a lot. But this on girl name started with the letter J loved to ride motorcycles with me. We used to ride 500 miles per day, no desination, just picking a different highway and following it and roundabout coming back. I pulled over at this rest stop for a cigarette and for some reason decided she needed it then and there. Worse yet, she wanted it in the ass, bent over the motorcycle, with the motorcycle on. She was bent over the back of my '82 V45 Sabre grabbin' the handlebars and revvin the shit out of it, the burns on my shins were well worth it I can say. Someone tried to turn into the rest stop, then saw us, J never noticed them, but they flipped me off when I waved at them. Anyways that's my story.

And J tried putting a finger in my butt once. I refused, telling her exit only. Anyways, this girl could not cum unless you were fucking her in the ass and pinchin her nips hard.

Had a lot of girls that liked 'fake choking'. If you don't know what to do, that's your best bet, is to put your hand on their neck and just go at it like you're choking them but don't actually choke them. Works on 85% of girls.


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## xpnsivwino (Nov 9, 2009)

Just in time for Thanksgiving too. Butterball, perhaps?


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## fdd2blk (Nov 9, 2009)

i once had a girl ask if she could get on top.


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## JonnyBtreed (Nov 9, 2009)

fdd2blk said:


> i once had a girl ask if she could get on top.


You Hedonist you


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## maxamus1 (Nov 10, 2009)

i had a chick that wanted me to cut her while we fucked. blood turned her on. never could do it though that she would do something stupid you know.


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