# Passing a drug test at Walmart



## blowinblunts (Mar 20, 2012)

Went in for my interview today, got interviewed by two people, and at the end of he thing they told me the are going to hire me, however i must show up at the clinic and take a drug test within 24 hours. i got about 20 hours left, and have been slaming as much water as i can, i usually smoke 2-3 grams a day, any other tips on ho i might be able to slide by and pass this shit?


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## bigslama912 (Mar 20, 2012)

synthetic piss or your fucked.

Good Luck


I guess it would also be worth stopping by your local headshop and pick up some detoxes.... however in my past experience they are not worth a penny


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## dank smoker420 (Mar 20, 2012)

go to a headshop and get a detox drink or pills or fake piss. depening on how good the clinic is they might know it if diluted. you would have to make up a good excuse if it is or they will make you take another one


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## ClaytonBigsby (Mar 20, 2012)

This works like a champ. Drink a large jar of pickle juice about 16 hours before you go in to pee. At 12 hours before, you drink a small jar of jalepeno juice (think 12 oz). At 10 hours before you HAVE to eat an 8 ounce container of some type of wasabi mustard. At 6 hours before, you drink two shots of balsamic vinegar. An hour before you go in, you rub one out, then drink a gallon of milk. Then, sneak in someone else's urine that you know is clean. Works EVERY time!


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## SocataSmoker (Mar 20, 2012)

Fuck that shit above...


Your best option is synthetic piss, as they won't be watching you for that sort of job.


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## missnu (Mar 20, 2012)

Well walmart does actual lab testing so there is a good chance that unless you fake it with real clean pee from someone else it won't work...fake pee is out...so you need actual fresh urine from someone else...or just drink an ass ton of water leading up to the appointment and hope for the best...


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## doctorD (Mar 20, 2012)

I had a great job offer but had to take a test. I got the fake piss but didnt know if it would work and didnt want to risk not getting the job. My solution was to apply at wal-mart and take the test they send me too. If I pass then great im good if I fail I would do something like get a doner with some clean piss


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## The Cryptkeeper (Mar 20, 2012)

Drink two liters of water a supplement.


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## patlpp (Mar 20, 2012)

So much for Walmart, maybe you could get a job as a schoolbus driver?


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## JohnnyGreenfingers (Mar 20, 2012)

ClaytonBigsby said:


> This works like a champ. Drink a large jar of pickle juice about 16 hours before you go in to pee. At 12 hours before, you drink a small jar of jalepeno juice (think 12 oz). At 10 hours before you HAVE to eat an 8 ounce container of some type of wasabi mustard. At 6 hours before, you drink two shots of balsamic vinegar. An hour before you go in, you rub one out, then drink a gallon of milk. Then, sneak in someone else's urine that you know is clean. Works EVERY time!


This needs more love. 

<3


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## ClaytonBigsby (Mar 20, 2012)

Really?

I was thinking.... smokes 2-3 grams a day, drug test in 20 hours..... not much hope really (except to use someone else's [which I did recommend]).

Then I looked at the post count,...... and thought the post appropriate. I have been away and a little out of touch, so if it IS me, sorry OP, and good luck.


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## Sunbiz1 (Mar 20, 2012)

blowinblunts said:


> Went in for my interview today, got interviewed by two people, and at the end of he thing they told me the are going to hire me, however i must show up at the clinic and take a drug test within 24 hours. i got about 20 hours left, and have been slaming as much water as i can, i usually smoke 2-3 grams a day, any other tips on ho i might be able to slide by and pass this shit?


Oh boy, let's slam water for a career at Wal-Mart. 

Here's a tip, educate yourself for a career that actually will earn you a decent wage.


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## JohnnyGreenfingers (Mar 20, 2012)

I don't care if you were thinking "I hope this bastard dies of internal grease fire". I thought it was pretty funny, regardless. 

EDIT: cockblocked!


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## golddog (Mar 20, 2012)

Eat a lot of *asparagus* the night before, and more in the morning.

Then drink plenty of water. You should be diluted enough to pass the test.

The *asparagus* adds a lot of color and really smells BAD!

You might pass, but watch their faces when they have to deal with it.

I did it a few years ago, and I passed.


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## Sunbiz1 (Mar 20, 2012)

JohnnyGreenfingers said:


> I don't care if you were thinking "I hope this bastard dies of internal grease fire". I thought it was pretty funny, regardless.
> 
> EDIT: cockblocked!


Ah, so you're the OP...thanks for sharing. You know, with all these new accounts one can't tell anything...lol.


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## JohnnyGreenfingers (Mar 20, 2012)

Sunbiz1 said:


> Ah, so you're the OP...thanks for sharing. You know, with all these new accounts one can't tell anything...lol.


Lol. No. What I meant by cockblocked was your post came in between mine and Claytons on the one time I didn't quote who I was responding to.


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## bowlfullofbliss (Mar 20, 2012)

Sunbiz1 said:


> Oh boy, let's slam water for a career at Wal-Mart.
> 
> Here's a tip, educate yourself for a career that actually will earn you a decent wage.


Ouch Sunbiz.......this is a really tough economy.....jobs, even sucky ones are hard to get, really hard in my State. At least he's looking and trying. I know a lot of people that are doing things they never would to keep life going.....just sayin'.


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## Sunbiz1 (Mar 20, 2012)

bowlfullofbliss said:


> Ouch Sunbiz.......this is a really tough economy.....jobs, even sucky ones are hard to get, really hard in my State. At least he's looking and trying. I know a lot of people that are doing things they never would to keep life going.....just sayin'.


When you do something to "keep life going", Wal-Mart and other menial jobs should be a last resort.


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## bowlfullofbliss (Mar 20, 2012)

Sunbiz1 said:


> When you do something to "keep life going", Wal-Mart and other menial jobs should be a last resort.


Without any intent to argue at all.......I'm interested in what a menial job is, and what should one consider the point of last resort.


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## ClaytonBigsby (Mar 20, 2012)

2-3 grams a day, man,......2-3 grams...


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## Sunbiz1 (Mar 20, 2012)

bowlfullofbliss said:


> Without any intent to argue at all.......I'm interested in what a menial job is, and what should one consider the point of last resort.


Anything that pays less than $12/hr in this economy, that is the minimum rate to support oneself without any dependents.

There are no menial jobs, only menial wage rates.


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## bowlfullofbliss (Mar 20, 2012)

Sunbiz1 said:


> Anything that pays less than $12/hr in this economy, that is the minimum rate to support oneself without any dependents.
> 
> There are no menial jobs, only menial wage rates.


It would definatly be unfortunate to work for $12 or less. What I'll just say is that Ford is now hiring at $15/hr, and you have to pay union dues, taxes, etc. It sure used to be a respectable life to work there. I'm currently unemployed, and the factories are now hiring for as low as $10.50/hr, mostly non-union manufacturing. Again, a once good life to start in, but they know how little they can pay. Luckily fo rme, I have a long prior career as a house painter, and am going to have to go from full on suit and tie to back on the ladders working with chemicals all day. I'm doing it just to keep it going.


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## growone (Mar 20, 2012)

my understanding is if you can pound down enough water, you should be able to either pass or get a retest
some vitamin B complex helps for color which will be lacking if you do drink enough water


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## Sunbiz1 (Mar 20, 2012)

bowlfullofbliss said:


> It would definatly be unfortunate to work for $12 or less. What I'll just say is that Ford is now hiring at $15/hr, and you have to pay union dues, taxes, etc. It sure used to be a respectable life to work there. I'm currently unemployed, and the factories are now hiring for as low as $10.50/hr, mostly non-union manufacturing. Again, a once good life to start in, but they know how little they can pay. Luckily fo rme, I have a long prior career as a house painter, and am going to have to go from full on suit and tie to back on the ladders working with chemicals all day. I'm doing it just to keep it going.


You sound like a recent hire there, 

If you can paint(and tape in particular), then it certainly would pay better. 

Good luck!


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## doctorD (Mar 20, 2012)

Real painters dont use tape...


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## chickadee (Mar 20, 2012)

Since when do you have to take a drug test to work at Wal-Mart.. what a joke haha.


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## SirShmokeAlot225 (Mar 20, 2012)

chickadee said:


> Since when do you have to take a drug test to work at Wal-Mart.. what a joke haha.


from what ive heard from my friends mother (whos a manager of a store and has been with wal-mart for 10+ years) they will be switching from urine tests to hair sample tests sometime in the near future. hahaha. walmarts gonna lose all its employees.


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## snew (Mar 20, 2012)

Good luck in your job quest. I always found once I was working, anywhere, other companies seemed more interested. Do you best at what ever your doing. No matter how medial it may seem give it your all.


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## ClaytonBigsby (Mar 20, 2012)

What a handsome cat, snew.


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## growone (Mar 21, 2012)

SirShmokeAlot225 said:


> from what ive heard from my friends mother (whos a manager of a store and has been with wal-mart for 10+ years) they will be switching from urine tests to hair sample tests sometime in the near future. hahaha. walmarts gonna lose all its employees.


 it was only a matter of time, something is going to have to give when there aren't enough docile, drug free, alcohol free workers to keep the system going
i do see the hair test is about 3-5 times more expensive than the urine test
but shampoo/body washes are under development


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## Sunbiz1 (Mar 21, 2012)

doctorD said:


> Real painters dont use tape...


Sometimes you have to tape when spraying, only time I have seen it used professionally.

Then there's the do-it-yourself tape, and if you're that bad of a painter to require using it...call a professional...lol


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## ThatGuy113 (Mar 21, 2012)

missnu said:


> Well walmart does actual lab testing so there is a good chance that unless you fake it with real clean pee from someone else it won't work...fake pee is out...so you need actual fresh urine from someone else...or just drink an ass ton of water leading up to the appointment and hope for the best...


Fake pee works in lab testing. You just have to buy the right one. Personal experience, got the job I was going for test driving cars for a local manufacturer. It just has to contain creatine and other normal body hormones. 

Quick Fix is what I used is called. Head shops usually have it. If you fail you get your money back from the company as well.

If anything drinking to much water will lead to a retest because when you drink to much water your liver no longer puts out the hormones. Your test would be considered suspect and you'd have to take it again.


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## Venomhawk (Mar 21, 2012)

ThatGuy113 said:


> Fake pee works in lab testing. You just have to buy the right one. Personal experience, got the job I was going for test driving cars for a local manufacturer. It just has to contain creatine and other normal body hormones.


I am not sure how it works in practice, but I've heard/read that If you are trying the method of just drinking a buttload of water that you should chow on a bunch of red meat 6-7 hours before the test, that way even though the color is wrong, you still have the higher levels of creatinine. And they test creatinine levels NOT creatine...two different things completely. Creatinine is produced as creatine is broken down. Here is a little blurb about it from Wikipedia and how it's related to urine tests.

Urine creatinine Creatinine concentration is also checked during standard urine drug tests. Normal creatinine levels indicate that the test sample is undiluted, whereas low amounts of creatinine in the urine indicate either a manipulated test or low individual baseline creatinine levels. Test samples that are considered manipulated due to low creatinine aren't tested and the test is sometimes considered failed.
It should be noted[SUP][_citation needed_][/SUP] that diluted samples may not always be due to a conscious effort of subversion and diluted samples cannot be proved to be intentional, but are only assumed to be. Random urine creatinine levels have no standard reference ranges. They are usually used with other tests to reference levels of other substances measured in the urine. Diuretics, such as coffee and tea, cause more frequent urination, thus potently decreasing creatinine levels. A decrease in muscle mass will also cause a lower reading of creatinine, as will pregnancy.


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## ClaytonBigsby (Jun 24, 2012)

So, did you try my method? Did you get the jerb?


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## PUFeNUF (Jun 24, 2012)

dude fake piss or you won't pass. simple as that. whoever says quickfix synthetic urine doesn't work is a liar.


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## Dirty Harry (Jun 24, 2012)

If walmart decided to test their customers, they would go broke overnight. What is it about that store? You don't see things like "people of Target" or "People of Kmart"...Walmart attracts all the freaks, but want the workers to be drug free? From looking at the majority of the customers, if I worked there, I would want to take drugs also!


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## WaxxyNuggets (Jun 24, 2012)

Tell them you use baby soap...?


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## Geronimo420 (Jun 24, 2012)

I would just do the test & blame failure on second hand smokekiss-ass


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## PUFeNUF (Jun 24, 2012)

or you can just use synthetic urine and pass the test.


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## CelticNations (Jul 9, 2015)

You need to get the doctor to get you a prescription of the stomach medicine 'Protonix' it has a false positive that will make the drug test read positive even if you don't smoke. 

This won't do anything but buy you time but it will explain away a positive drug test showing Marijuana in the system. 

drugs.com/answers/i-have-a-friend-who-is-65yrs-old-never-did-any-315073.html


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## VTMi'kmaq (Jul 9, 2015)

Been hearing hints that trader joes has a flush kit that actually works???? it's under the counter type of buying tho lol


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## bearkat42 (Jul 9, 2015)

Sunbiz1 said:


> Oh boy, let's slam water for a career at Wal-Mart.
> 
> Here's a tip, educate yourself for a career that actually will earn you a decent wage.


Dick


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## VTMi'kmaq (Jul 9, 2015)

agreed^^^^ he must be chairmen of the small penis commitee!


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## Sunbiz1 (Aug 6, 2015)

VTMi'kmaq said:


> agreed^^^^ he must be chairmen of the small penis commitee!


Pray you never meet me.


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## Inzegrow (Aug 6, 2015)

Sunbiz1 said:


> Pray you never meet me.


Strictly because we would be attending a meeting for the small penis comitee.


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## Sunbiz1 (Aug 6, 2015)

Inzegrow said:


> Strictly because we would be attending a meeting for the small penis comitee.


You'd be getting VT's cock up your ass, then I'd post a pic just for my own amusement.


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## 6ohMax (Aug 6, 2015)

Sunbiz1 said:


> You'd be getting VT's cock up your ass, then I'd post a pic just for my own amusement.



so it is obvious you like faggy time,


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## shieldj7 (Feb 27, 2018)

This shit is funny asf


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## Blue Wizard (Feb 27, 2018)




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## farmerfischer (Feb 27, 2018)

shieldj7 said:


> This shit is funny asf


Stick around.. Lol..


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## charface (Feb 27, 2018)

It just dawned on me,
If you cant stop smoking long enough to get a job than you should permanently stop working.


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## Sour Wreck (Feb 27, 2018)

fuck walmart


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## farmerfischer (Feb 27, 2018)

Sour Wreck said:


> fuck walmart


I agree... They literally fuck everyone in the ass with there great value products.. Not to mention that THEY also pushed the small family grocery stores and hardware stores out of business every where their shit stores pop up.. 
FUCK WALMART..


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## Sour Wreck (Feb 27, 2018)

farmerfischer said:


> I agree... They literally fuck everyone in the ass with there great value products.. Not to mention that THEY also pushed the small family grocery stores and hardware stores out of business every where their shit stores pop up..
> FUCK WALMART..


yup


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## shieldj7 (Feb 27, 2018)

I really wanna know if he got the job


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## farmerfischer (Feb 27, 2018)

shieldj7 said:


> I really wanna know if I can give this guy a blow job


Really?


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## charface (Feb 27, 2018)

shieldj7 said:


> I really wanna know if he got the job


I would hope so. Surly 
89.776% of the local Walmart employees here were baked when they fake pissed.


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## tyler.durden (Feb 28, 2018)

charface said:


> It just dawned on me,
> If you cant stop smoking long enough to get a job than *you should permanently stop working.*



That's what I did...


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## Karah (Feb 28, 2018)

Of course he didn’t pass said drug test....nobody told him to shit in the cup.


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## curious2garden (Feb 28, 2018)

Karah said:


> Of course he didn’t pass said drug test....nobody told him to shit in the cup.


Thank you for the voice of sanity.


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