# Becoming a hermit



## New Age United (Nov 5, 2015)

Seeking hermetic wisdom and tranquility. I'm paranoid schizophrenic and at the age of 29 have experienced the full onset of the disease, which has left me kinda reclusive and lethargic. I used to be a very social person with an outgoing personality now I go to work and come home and drink beer all night; I have a few good friends that drop by quite a bit but other than that I have no social life. I'm paying $1600 a month for the house with heat and lights, I spend $450 a week on beer smokes and weed. You have to understand the disease you have absolutely no motivation you have to constantly consciously push yourself to work, life is a constant struggle, that's why so many people with mental illness end up on the street. Schizophrenia is a disability but is not recognized as such. I work for myself but I know I'm way too slack to work for anybody else I was never able to hold a job. 

So since I am not able to go on disability due to ignorance of schizophrenia by society I am thinking of going on social assistance and abandoning society all together. I have $27000 to my name I'm thinking of buying an acre lot and putting a little hut with a slab and septic in and hoping that a few solar panels and windmills will keep a small refrigerator running. I already have the lot picked out its in the sticks the property tax will only be $600 a year I figure I can do with two cords of wood a year and hopefully find a nearby spring I can tap into. A single male gets $525 a month on welfare. I honestly think this is the best for my well being what do you think? I'll quit smoking and drinking, I'll grow outdoor my only expense would be property tax, wood, and food. Is there anything I'm overlooking?


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## Indagrow (Nov 5, 2015)

Besides figuring out a source of revenue, I'm sure we would all love to pay for you if you find peace


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## New Age United (Nov 5, 2015)

Indagrow said:


> Besides figuring out a source of revenue, I'm sure we would all love to pay for you if you find peace


I honestly think it may be a matter of survival. Society supports the disabled I think I do qualify.


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## tinkywinky (Nov 6, 2015)

Who is telling you that Schizophrenia is not a disability?.

https://www.ssa.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/12.00-MentalDisorders-Adult.htm

Provided you are diagnosed correctly you should qualify. The problem with most mental disorders is that because people can not see it many think it is not that bad.

Mental disorders can be as debilitating and even worse than physical impairments.

Good luck, you have covered the basics to survive but there is a lot more to consider for this type of life style change. You may find it easier to buy the land and instead of going all in straight away spend time there and have a gradual transition over the course of a year. Even just spending weekends there at first may help you cut back on the drinking and will most definitely give you some clarity of thought being in nature.


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## Don Geno (Nov 6, 2015)

Do whatever you feel is right if its facing fears or conquering your desire of living righteous the choice is truly yours


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## sunni (Nov 6, 2015)

Any mental health illness is considered a disability
I don't know who told you otherwise but their wrong
You can fight with a lawyer to get on disability
But you shouldn't have to 

Are you an actually diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic
If so stop drinking alcohol it will fuck with your medications significantly


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## sunni (Nov 6, 2015)

Just some things about Canada since I know the welfare disability shit off the back of my hand

You will be instantly denied welfare as you said you have 27,000$ to your name
They check all bank statements for the last 6 months or more 

You will be denied if you own property and or a vehicle
You will be told by welfare to sell those to make ends meet I shit you not

If they find out you are working under the table and they will find out they watch. People so closely now you will have to pay back everything they gave you 

I really don't know who put it in your head that a mental health disorder is not a disability please allow me to slap them
You can get disability for any mental health disorder ANY one

Disability is not going to cover your 1600$ a month rent plus 400$ and whatever spending habits
Disability is very little income
You will probably get hmm maybe 1200$ the entire month 
But they will cover your meds so that's a plus 
It can get tricky when you start working even under the table plus receiving disability
Do not by any means think to "out smart " the government if they find out you're in hot fucking water 

But luckily with disability you can claim work related money unlike welfare who will than dock your check 

If you haven't been properly diagnosed go see someone to do so its a quick process
If you need help finding anyone In Canada message me
If you need more welfare/ disability /lawyer needs message me
I can give you all the resources you need I'm not limited to Ontario


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## New Age United (Nov 6, 2015)

sunni said:


> Just some things about Canada since I know the welfare disability shit off the back of my hand
> 
> You will be instantly denied welfare as you said you have 27,000$ to your name
> They check all bank statements for the last 6 months or more
> ...


Thanks a ton sunni this is great info. I've talked to my doctor about getting diagnosed and he's gonna set up an appointment with mind care. My sister thought there would be some form of assistance. Thanks for the helpfulness I will pm you if I need more advice.


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## sunni (Nov 6, 2015)

New Age United said:


> Thanks a ton sunni this is great info. I've talked to my doctor about getting diagnosed and he's gonna set up an appointment with mind care. My sister thought there would be some form of assistance. Thanks for the helpfulness I will pm you if I need more advice.


Oh you haven't been diagnosed 
Paranoid schizophrenic is not a common disorder chances are you don't have that 

If you look at the dsm 5 you and everyone one else on the planet can be diagnosed with like 50 some mental health illnesses
So don't trust people or web md


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## New Age United (Nov 6, 2015)

sunni said:


> Oh you haven't been diagnosed
> Paranoid schizophrenic is not a common disorder chances are you don't have that
> 
> If you look at the dsm 5 you and everyone one else on the planet can be diagnosed with like 50 some mental health illnesses
> So don't trust people or web md


Statistically it's 2% of the population both male and female. I have every symptom both positive and negative, I'm on the medication risperidone which is most popularly used to treat schizophrenia; I first read about it in an encyclopedia when I was 19 and it was an exact description of me that was even before the onset and psychotic episodes. I know my mind is certainly not normal and paranoid schizophrenia seems to be the only explanation that makes perfect sense. I guess we'll see I'll let you know.


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## sunni (Nov 6, 2015)

New Age United said:


> Statistically it's 2% of the population both male and female. I have every symptom both positive and negative, I'm on the medication risperidone which is most popularly used to treat schizophrenia; I first read about it in an encyclopedia when I was 19 and it was an exact description of me that was even before the onset and psychotic episodes. I know my mind is certainly not normal and paranoid schizophrenia seems to be the only explanation that makes perfect sense. I guess we'll see I'll let you know.


Yeah, all i saying is , i specifically trained in mental health disorders , so while i cannot professionally diagnose you dont go reading too much into those things because often people really wrongfully diagnose themselves.
medications for anxiety for example are all anti psychotic and anti depressants but that doesnt mean the person is depressed it just means for some reason scientifically those drugs work also to treat anxiety 
so dont go reading too much into it thats all im saying 
too often people diagnose themselves with someone serious and they dont have it, and because they do have something their mind starts to play tricks on them and they actually make themselves worse off.
I happen to know about the disability/welfare thing because its also my job to know canadas policies (obviously not all off by hand) but it is something we have to know pretty well generally. 

risperidone also treats bi-polar and bi-polar can be quite similar to paranoid schizophrenia so all im saying is dont get too hopped up on that thought 
like i said everyone can pick out about 50 disorders they all have symptoms too when youre diagnosed with a mental health disorder its a bit different we use the symptons as a guideline they arent set in stone. and you may have every symptom of one thing and be diagnosed with something else entirely, youd be surprised how often that happens


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## ZaraBeth420 (Nov 28, 2015)

New Age United said:


> Seeking hermetic wisdom and tranquility. I'm paranoid schizophrenic and at the age of 29 have experienced the full onset of the disease, which has left me kinda reclusive and lethargic. I used to be a very social person with an outgoing personality now I go to work and come home and drink beer all night; I have a few good friends that drop by quite a bit but other than that I have no social life. I'm paying $1600 a month for the house with heat and lights, I spend $450 a week on beer smokes and weed. You have to understand the disease you have absolutely no motivation you have to constantly consciously push yourself to work, life is a constant struggle, that's why so many people with mental illness end up on the street. Schizophrenia is a disability but is not recognized as such. I work for myself but I know I'm way too slack to work for anybody else I was never able to hold a job.
> 
> So since I am not able to go on disability due to ignorance of schizophrenia by society I am thinking of going on social assistance and abandoning society all together. I have $27000 to my name I'm thinking of buying an acre lot and putting a little hut with a slab and septic in and hoping that a few solar panels and windmills will keep a small refrigerator running. I already have the lot picked out its in the sticks the property tax will only be $600 a year I figure I can do with two cords of wood a year and hopefully find a nearby spring I can tap into. A single male gets $525 a month on welfare. I honestly think this is the best for my well being what do you think? I'll quit smoking and drinking, I'll grow outdoor my only expense would be property tax, wood, and food. Is there anything I'm overlooking?


I'm not a doctor, but I think a planned withdrawal from society is probably not a great thing to do, unless you feel the schizophrenia would sometimes make you violent prone.

What does your doctor think about this?


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## New Age United (Nov 28, 2015)

ZaraBeth420 said:


> I'm not a doctor, but I think a planned withdrawal from society is probably not a great thing to do, unless you feel the schizophrenia would sometimes make you violent prone.
> 
> What does your doctor think about this?


I am prone to violence but I believe this is more due to my psychopathy that schizophrenia, except during the state of psychosis. This is partially the reason why I have already withdrawn from society, people have a tendency to make me angry and I don't want to hurt nobody. I only socialize with a few good friends now. I'll give you an example my buddy Brad is threatening to go to court over some money he is owed by my company, this would force me into bankruptcy and I would lose everything, just 2 days ago I explained to him without directly threatening him that this would be the end of his life, he backed off. But I am also a psychopath see. 

I am waiting to see a clinician could be up to 6 weeks, then I see a psychiatrist for diagnosis. I'll mention that I wish to completely withdraw from society and see what his opinion is.


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## ZaraBeth420 (Nov 28, 2015)

New Age United said:


> I am prone to violence but I believe this is more due to my psychopathy that schizophrenia, except during the state of psychosis. This is partially the reason why I have already withdrawn from society, people have a tendency to make me angry and I don't want to hurt nobody. I only socialize with a few good friends now. I'll give you an example my buddy Brad is threatening to go to court over some money he is owed by my company, this would force me into bankruptcy and I would lose everything, just 2 days ago I explained to him without directly threatening him that this would be the end of his life, he backed off. But I am also a psychopath see.
> 
> I am waiting to see a clinician could be up to 6 weeks, then I see a psychiatrist for diagnosis. I'll mention that I wish to completely withdraw from society and see what his opinion is.


Good luck to you.


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## New Age United (Nov 28, 2015)

ZaraBeth420 said:


> Good luck to you.


Thank you


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## New Age United (Nov 28, 2015)

ZaraBeth420 said:


> I'm not a doctor, but I think a planned withdrawal from society is probably not a great thing to do, unless you feel the schizophrenia would sometimes make you violent prone.
> 
> What does your doctor think about this?


You know ZaraBeth420 it is not my fault, it is what it is. Why do you think that withdrawal from society is not a good thing? I think it is a matter of perspective, I mean yes the human species is a social creature but what if a certain brain chemistry, a physical difference in the functioning of the mind were to make one not social at all? Would it then be better for that person to try and go against its own nature and struggle to function properly in society or to return to its natural habitat of solitude?


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## ZaraBeth420 (Nov 28, 2015)

New Age United said:


> You know ZaraBeth420 it is not my fault, it is what it is. Why do you think that withdrawal from society is not a good thing? I think it is a matter of perspective, I mean yes the human species is a social creature but what if a certain brain chemistry, a physical difference in the functioning of the mind were to make one not social at all? Would it then be better for that person to try and go against its own nature and struggle to function properly in society or to return to its natural habitat of solitude?


No, it's not your fault.

I was just looking at it from the angle that humans are social creatures, as you said. But I certainly don't have the insight to tell you what you should do.

And again, good luck. If you decide to withdraw from society, you still have RIU and other options for socializing online.


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## hotrodharley (Nov 29, 2015)

New Age United said:


> Statistically it's 2% of the population both male and female. I have every symptom both positive and negative, I'm on the medication risperidone which is most popularly used to treat schizophrenia; I first read about it in an encyclopedia when I was 19 and it was an exact description of me that was even before the onset and psychotic episodes. I know my mind is certainly not normal and paranoid schizophrenia seems to be the only explanation that makes perfect sense. I guess we'll see I'll let you know.


You seem able to communicate thoughts and ideas quite well. At least in this convo you seem well-oriented and give consideration to what others think. No one is able to completely withdraw from society/life. But if you feel better living in an isolated lifestyle then that is your choice. But what of your necessary contacts with the "real" outside world? You will certainly have to resupply with food and reading materials or supplies to garden with. You will most definitely need help. Paranoids are better off immersed in a society they mistrust than being alone to let things develop that do not need to develop such as psychotic episodes. Have you actually been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia? Or are you assuming?


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## New Age United (Nov 29, 2015)

hotrodharley said:


> You seem able to communicate thoughts and ideas quite well. At least in this convo you seem well-oriented and give consideration to what others think. No one is able to completely withdraw from society/life. But if you feel better living in an isolated lifestyle then that is your choice. But what of your necessary contacts with the "real" outside world? You will certainly have to resupply with food and reading materials or supplies to garden with. You will most definitely need help. Paranoids are better off immersed in a society they mistrust than being alone to let things develop that do not need to develop such as psychotic episodes. Have you actually been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia? Or are you assuming?


No I am currently waiting to see a psychiatrist for diagnosis. But it is not just an assumption there are very distinguishable symptoms such as social withdrawal and a history of psychosis lasting longer than 6 months. Yes I am a pretty good communicator and have a high iq which is not uncommon in schizophrenics in fact this puts me at a higher risk of suicide. There is no longer a classification of paranoid schizophrenia as of 2013 the subtypes have all been removed from the dsm-5 but before this there was also a subtype "disorganized schizophrenia" which was distinguished by an disorganized thought process but paranoid schizophrenics did not have this trait which is why I believe I'm a paranoid schizophrenic.

And just so you know the new statistic put it at between 0.3 and 0.7% of the population. So it is rarer than originally thought but still not that uncommon.


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## supreme bean (Dec 2, 2015)

New Age United said:


> Seeking hermetic wisdom and tranquility. I'm paranoid schizophrenic and at the age of 29 have experienced the full onset of the disease, which has left me kinda reclusive and lethargic. I used to be a very social person with an outgoing personality now I go to work and come home and drink beer all night; I have a few good friends that drop by quite a bit but other than that I have no social life. I'm paying $1600 a month for the house with heat and lights, I spend $450 a week on beer smokes and weed. You have to understand the disease you have absolutely no motivation you have to constantly consciously push yourself to work, life is a constant struggle, that's why so many people with mental illness end up on the street. Schizophrenia is a disability but is not recognized as such. I work for myself but I know I'm way too slack to work for anybody else I was never able to hold a job.
> 
> So since I am not able to go on disability due to ignorance of schizophrenia by society I am thinking of going on social assistance and abandoning society all together. I have $27000 to my name I'm thinking of buying an acre lot and putting a little hut with a slab and septic in and hoping that a few solar panels and windmills will keep a small refrigerator running. I already have the lot picked out its in the sticks the property tax will only be $600 a year I figure I can do with two cords of wood a year and hopefully find a nearby spring I can tap into. A single male gets $525 a month on welfare. I honestly think this is the best for my well being what do you think? I'll quit smoking and drinking, I'll grow outdoor my only expense would be property tax, wood, and food. Is there anything I'm overlooking?


Could be depression.I dont think you can diagnose yourself on this matter.I gave up drinking alcohol .that helps my depression
alot.Imo if you spend your evenings alone drinking and smoking weed you will only get worse.isolating yourself wont help either.
Try some meditation tecs and cut out the alcohol-your plan sounds like a lonely path to disaster


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## mrpink55 (Dec 2, 2015)

Don't spend all your money just yet, find a place you want and wait on it at least a month. If you still want it then id say buy it. I have spent money on things when I was emotional I wish I hadn't looking back.


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## supreme bean (Dec 3, 2015)

mrpink55 said:


> Don't spend all your money just yet, find a place you want and wait on it at least a month. If you still want it then id say buy it. I have spent money on things when I was emotional I wish I hadn't looking back.


What ,Like a wedding-HaHa


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## mrpink55 (Dec 3, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> What ,Like a wedding-HaHa


lol no never that stupid. Poor business decisions. Messing with the wrong cats for the wrong reasons. Taking things that are not good for me.


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## outlier (Dec 3, 2015)

Yeah for sure Mr. Pink. I'd leave the door open for an easy out for a while. Don't want to rush into a big move like that and end up cornering yourself. Not good for anyone's mental state if you ask me.

Nothing wrong with being a hermit. I used to sail solo for months and I loved every second of it. I think as you get older, you learn who your friends are and you don't give a shit about anything else except those close to you. Pretty normal if you ask me. Sounds like you're ready for the next phase of your life. Enjoy it and do what you want. Good luck!


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## alchemistere (Dec 5, 2015)

New Age United said:


> Seeking hermetic wisdom and tranquility. I'm paranoid schizophrenic and at the age of 29 have experienced the full onset of the disease, which has left me kinda reclusive and lethargic. I used to be a very social person with an outgoing personality now I go to work and come home and drink beer all night; I have a few good friends that drop by quite a bit but other than that I have no social life. I'm paying $1600 a month for the house with heat and lights, I spend $450 a week on beer smokes and weed. You have to understand the disease you have absolutely no motivation you have to constantly consciously push yourself to work, life is a constant struggle, that's why so many people with mental illness end up on the street. Schizophrenia is a disability but is not recognized as such. I work for myself but I know I'm way too slack to work for anybody else I was never able to hold a job.
> 
> So since I am not able to go on disability due to ignorance of schizophrenia by society I am thinking of going on social assistance and abandoning society all together. I have $27000 to my name I'm thinking of buying an acre lot and putting a little hut with a slab and septic in and hoping that a few solar panels and windmills will keep a small refrigerator running. I already have the lot picked out its in the sticks the property tax will only be $600 a year I figure I can do with two cords of wood a year and hopefully find a nearby spring I can tap into. A single male gets $525 a month on welfare. I honestly think this is the best for my well being what do you think? I'll quit smoking and drinking, I'll grow outdoor my only expense would be property tax, wood, and food. Is there anything I'm overlooking?


If you do things right you can cut the food expense out most of the food and wood expenses. Learn canning, learn aquaponics. Learn everything a prepper would teach you. Research the ecosystem you are creating the one that benefits you the most. A hybrid popular or purple empress line to breed and harvest for firewood. Make your own pond and stock it with what you want to eat. Learn the husbandry of whatever animals you are going to work with. In my case it is crayfish, doves, rabbits, and ferrets. The latter are not for eating, but rodent control and companionship. Learn to hunt/shoot. Learn to repair everything you will ever own, use, or build. If you're a vegan, well you get a pass on that one but I imagine things will be a lot tougher for you. 

Solar panels only work when there is light. Windmills only work if there is wind. Build a battery backup. Consider a generator. 

Learn the property laws applicable to where you will live. Build a church and found a religion for tax breaks. Get your property zoned as a church and/or farm for further tax breaks. Learn to scratch build anything and everything you might ever need. Plan on things changing. Plan on increases in electricity costs, increases in property tax, increases in school taxes.

Figure out how you will combat loneliness. All day, everyday. You are alone. That is the worst part of it. Eventually it will most likely wear you down. The hardest part is acknowledging that you need people, and social interaction. Figure out how you will get help if/when you are neck deep in a bad situation. 

Plan on having some form of communication, like a cell/satellite phone. 

Plan on taking up a few dozen hobbies to keep you sane if you ultimately decide to go it alone.

Plan on working harder than you have ever worked in your life. 

Your life mirrors my past self. I walked down a very similar path as the one you stand before. It is not easy. At times it sucks balls. There are ups and downs to it. If it is your path, walk down it; but do not ever go in blindly thinking you will just blunder through it. 

That's all just my two cents. Take it or leave it. I've probably forgotten about a million things. If you have questions, ask. I'm not the most knowledgeable, but I'd wager I know more about this path than most.


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## New Age United (Dec 5, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> Could be depression.I dont think you can diagnose yourself on this matter.I gave up drinking alcohol .that helps my depression
> alot.Imo if you spend your evenings alone drinking and smoking weed you will only get worse.isolating yourself wont help either.
> Try some meditation tecs and cut out the alcohol-your plan sounds like a lonely path to disaster


No its not depression, I would know if I was depressed I've been very close to suicide in the past I know what it feels like. See the thing is I don't get lonely, I've been somewhat detached from society for all my life I prefer to be alone, even my closest friends and family can only stay in my presence for so long before I start to feel irritated and uncomfortable. It's not social anxiety either I don't get anxiety from having to socialize it's just I'm not social and even anti social, I would rather be at war than at peace with people, but deep down we all want peace which is why I want to be alone.

Let me be more specific on the symptoms; positive: hallucinations, paranoid delusions. Negative: lethargy, anti social. There are also many traits such as not dating, difficulty holding a job, sloppiness of dress and poor hygiene. My buddy Geoff has depression but none of these symptoms. I have all the symptoms and traits of a schizophrenic and there are many so I gotta be honest it sounds like schizophrenia.


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## supreme bean (Dec 5, 2015)

Whatever you say doc.


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## DaSprout (Dec 13, 2015)

alchemistere said:


> If you do things right you can cut the food expense out most of the food and wood expenses. Learn canning, learn aquaponics. Learn everything a prepper would teach you. Research the ecosystem you are creating the one that benefits you the most. A hybrid popular or purple empress line to breed and harvest for firewood. Make your own pond and stock it with what you want to eat. Learn the husbandry of whatever animals you are going to work with. In my case it is crayfish, doves, rabbits, and ferrets. The latter are not for eating, but rodent control and companionship. Learn to hunt/shoot. Learn to repair everything you will ever own, use, or build. If you're a vegan, well you get a pass on that one but I imagine things will be a lot tougher for you.
> 
> Solar panels only work when there is light. Windmills only work if there is wind. Build a battery backup. Consider a generator.
> 
> ...


Really great info in your post man. You should put up an ebook. Or at lest a thread on your thoughts upon this subject. You really delved deep. Good one.


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## DaSprout (Dec 13, 2015)

New Age United said:


> No its not depression, I would know if I was depressed I've been very close to suicide in the past I know what it feels like. See the thing is I don't get lonely, I've been somewhat detached from society for all my life I prefer to be alone, even my closest friends and family can only stay in my presence for so long before I start to feel irritated and uncomfortable. It's not social anxiety either I don't get anxiety from having to socialize it's just I'm not social and even anti social, I would rather be at war than at peace with people, but deep down we all want peace which is why I want to be alone.
> 
> Let me be more specific on the symptoms; positive: hallucinations, paranoid delusions. Negative: lethargy, anti social. There are also many traits such as not dating, difficulty holding a job, sloppiness of dress and poor hygiene. My buddy Geoff has depression but none of these symptoms. I have all the symptoms and traits of a schizophrenic and there are many so I gotta be honest it sounds like schizophrenia.


I hope that your path will become clear for you brother.


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

I dont think your gonna find any tranquility or wisdom.Yogis train for years under the tuition of a master.I do meditation-It helped
me resolve my anger issues towards my parents.In that respect i found some peace of mind.It didnt prepare me for a life of
solitude in the wilds.I was also an infantry soldier for 5 years,Perhaps that experience could prepare me for the life of hardship
-you intend to propose for yourself.
What you gonna do.I assume you have had some serious meditation training.not to mention survival training in the special forces.
A film called INTO THE WILD.Was about a young man who lived in the boonies.he was a half dead skeleton at the end.
obviously you need medical help.you could lookat getting some disability allowance-post diagnosis.
lay it on thick-you might even get some free accomodation.best of luck.
there was a proram i saw about a guy in american who.lived on his own for 6 month.
didnt see another human.spent most of his time .crying and worrying about bears.
tranquility and wisdom bullshit-Unless your name is RAY MEARS MARHARASHI.

Build a pond.Build a hut from raw materials.Make some glass for the windows-Laughable but hardly practicle.Let us know how it goes.


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## DaSprout (Dec 14, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> I dont think your gonna find any tranquility or wisdom.Yogis train for years under the tuition of a master.I do meditation-It helped
> me resolve my anger issues towards my parents.In that respect i found some peace of mind.It didnt prepare me for a life of
> solitude in the wilds.I was also an infantry soldier for 5 years,Perhaps that experience could prepare me for the life of hardship
> -you intend to propose for yourself.
> ...


@New Age United this maybe the post to set your sights on. I understand that things are not going right for you now. But as the above post states. They could be worse. And intentially doing so may be turn out to be something that you may not be able to comeback from. Or even survive. I can understand what its like to impose one hardship in order to better one's own life. I was homeless for a year. I intentially went into a shelter after squatting in an apartment building storage room for over three months. Here's one idea. Take a month. Leave of absense. Just think. Leave town. Change your environment. Got to Nyrobi. Just dont jump down the rabbit hole.


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

I agree with Da Sprout.Even a sane person would find it hard to live the life you imagine will bring you peace.Maybe something in your past 
has made you anti-social.The fact that you still have friends.Makes me think your a romantic bullshitter.Fuck, if your that keen on dropping out.
go to India.find a meditation master.Or get a shovel and dig your own grave.


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## qwizoking (Dec 14, 2015)

honestly you dont sound schizophrenic, nor do the "traits" youve described.


go seek help, get diagnosed, get meds, see a counselor.. hop on disability...apply now, get that backpay later if turned down but apply now


if yiu really wanna just reclude into some shack... go for it.. but thats a side effect of your mental state and will not be a productive decision...i could never stall out like that myself


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

Sounds like a regular Bear Grills to me.MMM.im starving at least i could eat that yummy tree.I think hes got it all worked out.LOL.


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

New Age United said:


> I honestly think it may be a matter of survival. Society supports the disabled I think I do qualify.


worth looking into.If you are disabled by physical or mental ilness -you should be entitled to help finiancial or otherwise.and dont go telling them how many dollars you have.they will bleed you dry.


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

Go nuts.Stuff it in a pole dancers bikini.
.

Nothing wrong with being a hermit. I used to sail solo for months and I loved every second of it. I think as you get older, you learn who your friends are and you don't give a shit about anything else except those close to you. Pretty normal if you ask me. Sounds like you're ready for the next phase of your life. Enjoy it and do what you want. Good luck![/QUOTE]
plenty of people who do solo sailing go crazy-why not encourage a person, with supposed mental health problems,to cut themselves off from society.
enjoy it, and probably die in the process.no doubt you will need a gun too.just in case you get assualted by a hallucination.


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## DaSprout (Dec 14, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> Go nuts.Stuff it in a pole dancers bikini.
> .
> 
> Nothing wrong with being a hermit. I used to sail solo for months and I loved every second of it. I think as you get older, you learn who your friends are and you don't give a shit about anything else except those close to you. Pretty normal if you ask me. Sounds like you're ready for the next phase of your life. Enjoy it and do what you want. Good luck!


plenty of people who do solo sailing go crazy-why not encourage a person, with supposed mental health problems,to cut themselves off from society.
enjoy it, and probably die in the process.no doubt you will need a gun too.just in case you get assualted by a hallucination.[/QUOTE]
Get your stinkin' talons off my fork! F'ing pink turles.


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## DaSprout (Dec 14, 2015)

Hallucinations


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

Pink Floyd are stealing my turnips -where the fuck did i put my M16


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

WHYwould anyone want to go to NYROBI?


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## DaSprout (Dec 14, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> WHYwould anyone want to go to NYROBI?


Lollllll!!!


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

Sorry.i will rephrase the question.WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO TO NYROBI???.
You find my spelling amusing?


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## qwizoking (Dec 14, 2015)

i assume you mean Nairobi the cap of kenya..
if so id love to go, avg high temp never hits 80 with a good amount of rain.. amazing animal reserves.. overall a pretty nice city


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## DaSprout (Dec 14, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> Sorry.i will rephrase the question.WHY THE FUCK WOULD ANYONE WANT TO GO TO NYROBI???.
> You find my spelling amusing?


Lol.


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## DaSprout (Dec 14, 2015)

All for the lulz.


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## supreme bean (Dec 14, 2015)

Quite Fancy Cambodia Myself.


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## Johnny Vapor (Dec 14, 2015)

Good luck to you. You sound fairly normal in conversation. I have a relative by marriage who's been medically diagnosed as paranoid-schizophrenic. In the last 20 years this person has had 2 "episodes" requiring hospitalization against their will. During each of the so called "episodes", this person was totally out of it, babbling almost incoherently about the most stupid and off the wall paranoid shit. Obviously, it made sense to them though. Each time it lasted about a month or so and then went away on it's own. When this person is normal, they're as "normal" as can be, albeit a little goofy and intense, but then, aren't we all. I should add, this person self medicates with cannabis (only person I've ever known who can smoke me under the table) and probably shouldn't. Point is, one can be diagnosed with paranoid-schizophrenia and unless they're "on", seem perfectly normal.

BTW, if you really want to be a hermit, you'll probably need at least 40 acres of land. One acre is 208 feet square, hardly large enough for a "hermit-like" existence.


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## New Age United (Dec 14, 2015)

Johnny Vapor said:


> Good luck to you. You sound fairly normal in conversation. I have a relative by marriage who's been medically diagnosed as paranoid-schizophrenic. In the last 20 years this person has had 2 "episodes" requiring hospitalization against their will. During each of the so called "episodes", this person was totally out of it, babbling almost incoherently about the most stupid and off the wall paranoid shit. Obviously, it made sense to them though. Each time it lasted about a month or so and then went away on it's own. When this person is normal, they're as "normal" as can be, albeit a little goofy and intense, but then, aren't we all. I should add, this person self medicates with cannabis (only person I've ever known who can smoke me under the table) and probably shouldn't. Point is, one can be diagnosed with paranoid-schizophrenia and unless they're "on", seem perfectly normal.
> 
> BTW, if you really want to be a hermit, you'll probably need at least 40 acres of land. One acre is 208 feet square, hardly large enough for a "hermit-like" existence.


That's exactly right I've also been hospitalized twice against my will but your right outside of a psychotic episode you would never expect a schizophrenic as such.


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## HeatlessBBQ (Dec 18, 2015)

@New Age United ... *You matter. *
*You are an extremely important piece to this puzzle.*

*You may be a hermit, now; but that does not make You Schizo.*
*I do not care if the most certified doctor tells You that You are.*
*You are fixing things in Your own mind. There is divine wisdom everywhere You go as long as One is paying attention to the signs. (;*

*but for real, YOU are an amazing person, NewAge.*
*Focus on that and YOU. Work on Yourself.*
*~~~ Meditate, do yoga, start with smoking a bowl and simply closing Your eyes and becoming aware of Yourself and surroundings...*

*The more and more You meditate, even for FIVE SECONDS, You will become more and more aware of bettering Yourself.*







*I Love You*


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## supreme bean (Dec 19, 2015)

Its A GOOD START.Meditate or medicate.Know thyself.
Osho-book of secrets-good place to start.


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## HeatlessBBQ (Dec 20, 2015)

supreme bean said:


> Its A GOOD START.Meditate or medicate.Know thyself.
> Osho-book of secrets-good place to start.


this dude knows what's UP ^ literally <3


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## saiyaneye (Dec 20, 2015)

My doc told me I am going through Psychosis which is basically another form of Schizo imo. I am in the same boat as you minus the $27000. If I had $10k i would buy a parcel of land in Missouri and live off the land with some solar energy just like u. I am working on SSDI. I think you get $733 a month... If you have been working your whole life you may get upwards of like $1000 a month.

With schizophrenia meditating can be hard.

I have not found any helpful medications other than some mary jane, or some drugs, liquor.


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## New Age United (Jan 29, 2016)

Officially diagnosed with schizophrenia today; should of bet everyone I knew a $100 lol

@DaSprout @tyler.durden @HeatlessBBQ @qwizoking


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## justugh (Jan 29, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Officially diagnosed with schizophrenia today; should of bet everyone I knew a $100 lol
> 
> @DaSprout @tyler.durden @HeatlessBBQ @qwizoking


welcome to the wounderful world of Crazy ....please keep your hands in feet in the cart at all time and rem most of what u are seening thinking is all in your head so please for your own saftey and ours do not over react take a few mins to enjoy it then make a choice how to go on ..........this will help u from getting shots in the ass of knock out drugs and aviod getting zombified on meds 

now the bad news ......weed is not a treatment that the USA government allows so if u are planning to apply for anything doing with the FED nothing about weed (no doctors know no notes on the files nothing) ......the government is a bitch they will use it to say no on a claim (did for me why i am a shiner and grower now) 

the pills they give u ......u got to take them ....u can no longer Drink while on them (or them even a trace in your system ).....u can no longer take the pills and stop ( u take the pills and keep taken as going cold turkey causes a shock to system resulting in very bad things death being the better of them) ......IF u do drink make sure someone knows call 911 as u can stop breathing or puke blood or seizures (any sign of something bad they got to call or nurse u ) 

Weed and your meds once u get on something and they lock it down .......go on the web hed to medical site and post asking doctors/pharms/ppl about what the reactions of the meds and weed is as some can knock u out for day or 2 (personally will tell u this one)

now here is the good news........u will have access to class 1 legal narcos .....the meds they put u on are the ones ppl crave (besides oxy)......u can legally take them .......so this means u can never carry the pills in anything other then the pill bottle (has to be a good script and number of pills under what script saids.......dumping left overs into new bottle can u in a station explaining to cops) ........pill carriers and all that are ok but make sure u have a copy of the script info u might go to station but once they verify that u are legal u are out with just arrest report on record


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## DaSprout (Jan 29, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Officially diagnosed with schizophrenia today; should of bet everyone I knew a $100 lol
> 
> @DaSprout @tyler.durden @HeatlessBBQ @qwizoking


Congratulations!
Now you have at least one opinion on the matter. You can now take the road to recovery and/or treatment. Good luck my friend. We are all hear for ya' buddy. And want you to stick around.


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## New Age United (Jan 29, 2016)

justugh said:


> welcome to the wounderful world of Crazy ....please keep your hands in feet in the cart at all time and rem most of what u are seening thinking is all in your head so please for your own saftey and ours do not over react take a few mins to enjoy it then make a choice how to go on ..........this will help u from getting shots in the ass of knock out drugs and aviod getting zombified on meds
> 
> now the bad news ......weed is not a treatment that the USA government allows so if u are planning to apply for anything doing with the FED nothing about weed (no doctors know no notes on the files nothing) ......the government is a bitch they will use it to say no on a claim (did for me why i am a shiner and grower now)
> 
> ...


Thanks I quit drinking 2 weeks ago feeling good


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## New Age United (Jan 29, 2016)

DaSprout said:


> Congratulations!
> Now you have at least one opinion on the matter. You can now take the road to recovery and/or treatment. Good luck my friend. We are all hear for ya' buddy. And want you to stick around.


Thanks a lot DaSprout


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## DaSprout (Jan 29, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Thanks a lot DaSprout


Don't thank me man. I just you to be as well as can be. I'll still take your thanks though.


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## supreme bean (Apr 29, 2016)

I quit booze nearly 3 years ago.Made big improvements to my mental health- and killed my social life.Not complaining tho.


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## supreme bean (Apr 29, 2016)

Actually i became a hermit without intending to.Not a full-blown.live in a cave with a beard covering my privates type.
Still,i got a taste.When you raise your game above the level of drunken bigot.Suddenly you realise.All this time i have been
alone.An actor in a macabre film.Hidden behind a grinning mask.when the mask falls off,the other actors avoid your eyes.
Simpering,they greet you with small-talk,anxious to vacate your company.


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## supreme bean (Apr 29, 2016)

Im an artist.Im a nutter.Cover me in peanut butter.


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## New Age United (Apr 29, 2016)

supreme bean said:


> I quit booze nearly 3 years ago.Made big improvements to my mental health- and killed my social life.Not complaining tho.


My social life was already dead but I know what you mean. Actually I thought I was going to become a social zombie when I quit drinking, I thought that even my conversations with friends and family would be completely dull, but this is not the case I'm still able to laugh and hold conversation I'm just not as loud and emotional.


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## supreme bean (Apr 29, 2016)

Hey New Age United.How ya doing these days.If its a hermitage you want.why not spend some time in India learning to meditate.
there is a place within you- remote ,peacefull.and open all hours.Meditation will show you the door.


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## supreme bean (Apr 29, 2016)

He who laughs lasts ,Laughs loudest-.Is the most drunkist.


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## New Age United (Apr 29, 2016)

supreme bean said:


> Hey New Age United.How ya doing these days.If its a hermitage you want.why not spend some time in India learning to meditate.
> there is a place within you- remote ,peacefull.and open all hours.Meditation will show you the door.


I'm doing good I've since given up on the idea of becoming a hermit I don't think I could survive. I have been practicing a few meditations such as inner body awareness and have really connected with my inner peace. I am beginning to study eastern philosophy and scripture and a trip to India is not out of the question.


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## supreme bean (Apr 29, 2016)

New Age United said:


> I'm doing good I've since given up on the idea of becoming a hermit I don't think I could survive. I have been practicing a few meditations such as inner body awareness and have really connected with my inner peace. I am beginning to study eastern philosophy and scripture and a trip to India is not out of the question.


.You sound like u r doing okay.I had bad chronic
pain issues from multilple injuries.I managed to get rid of the pain and heal my body using meditation and qi-gong.let me know if you want me to elaborate.I have spent some time in India.Cambodia is my next destination of choice.
I think you may find some sense of community in meditation ashram.
Zen master OSHO is my favourite GURU.The Book of Secrets, is great.


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## New Age United (Apr 29, 2016)

supreme bean said:


> .You sound like u r doing okay.I had bad chronic
> pain issues from multilple injuries.I managed to get rid of the pain and heal my body using meditation and qi-gong.let me know if you want me to elaborate.I have spent some time in India.Cambodia is my next destination of choice.
> I think you may find some sense of community in meditation ashram.
> Zen master OSHO is my favourite GURU.The Book of Secrets, is great.


I will definitely read The Book of Secrets thanks I have been practicing Zen for 8 years now a book I would highly recommend is "A New Earth " by Eckhart Tolle. I read Opening the Energy Gates of Your Body and found some great breathing practices as well as the screening your body practice and some great lessons on posture. However qi gong is not meant to be fully practiced by people with certain mental illness' and I know why when I was in the hospital I did a full head scan and ended up relapsing into psychosis I think I could even feel the rush of dopamine while I was scanning and too much dopamine is not good for a schizophrenic that's what my medication does is lower dopamine. I still found some great wisdom while studying qi gong thanks for the suggestion.


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## New Age United (Aug 4, 2016)

@DaSprout @sunni @supreme bean @qwizoking I've found the perfect solution for me, I'm going to become a trucker; I'm going to Maine in September. And I said I would never move to the states lol. It's perfect bc I can handle the solitude and it gives just enough interaction to keep me sane.


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## qwizoking (Aug 4, 2016)

New Age United said:


> @DaSprout @sunni @supreme bean @qwizoking I've found the perfect solution for me, I'm going to become a trucker; I'm going to Maine in September. And I said I would never move to the states lol. It's perfect bc I can handle the solitude and it gives just enough interaction to keep me sane.


do you have your class a?
maine huh, not exactly a hub. usually trucks throw product around Pennsylvania new York and the likes with thosr "fixed" trucks going into maine and far ne

pa, ne, Maryland are hubs in the n.e
but not a lot leaving. they just take it like a slut.
wa, or, il ia, Michigan , ate the best areas.. 


you can end up just running cross country back and forth. the petro buffet outside laramie wy go hatd


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## DaSprout (Aug 4, 2016)

qwizoking said:


> do you have your class a?
> maine huh, not exactly a hub. usually trucks throw product around Pennsylvania new York and the likes with thosr "fixed" trucks going into maine and far ne
> 
> pa, ne, Maryland are hubs in the n.e
> ...


That's how the qking rolls. And distributes.


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## sunni (Aug 4, 2016)

New Age United said:


> @DaSprout @sunni @supreme bean @qwizoking I've found the perfect solution for me, I'm going to become a trucker; I'm going to Maine in September. And I said I would never move to the states lol. It's perfect bc I can handle the solitude and it gives just enough interaction to keep me sane.


Good luck to you and your future


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## b4ds33d (Aug 5, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Schizophrenia is a disability but is not recognized as such.


who does this? i mean, anyone that does not recognize schizo as a disability, do you really give a fuck what they think?


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## New Age United (Aug 7, 2016)

qwizoking said:


> do you have your class a?
> maine huh, not exactly a hub. usually trucks throw product around Pennsylvania new York and the likes with thosr "fixed" trucks going into maine and far ne
> 
> pa, ne, Maryland are hubs in the n.e
> ...


Thanks for the Intel no I don't have my class a that's why I'm going to the states bc they don't train on the job up here you gotta take a course and it's like $5000. I'm moving to the states for 2 months in hopes of landing a job with a company that trains. Will definitely consider the states you mentioned.
My sister lives 20 mins outside of Philly in NJ so maybe I'll head down that way


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## qwizoking (Aug 8, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Thanks for the Intel no I don't have my class a that's why I'm going to the states bc they don't train on the job up here you gotta take a course and it's like $5000. I'm moving to the states for 2 months in hopes of landing a job with a company that trains. Will definitely consider the states you mentioned.
> My sister lives 20 mins outside of Philly in NJ so maybe I'll head down that way


you know who your gonna go with?
crst, cre, swift, Schneider
are common, hiring every week. lots of schools, they put you in a motel during training..so dont worry about it being in a particular area.
pros and cons to each company.
anyway good luck

make sure you can pass a drug test, including possible hair test.


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## DaSprout (Aug 8, 2016)

Very informative. Nice one.


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## Lucky Luke (Aug 10, 2016)

i was hoping you had become a hermit..id love to be a hermit.


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## New Age United (Aug 10, 2016)

qwizoking said:


> you know who your gonna go with?
> crst, cre, swift, Schneider
> are common, hiring every week. lots of schools, they put you in a motel during training..so dont worry about it being in a particular area.
> pros and cons to each company.
> ...


Holy fuck never even thought about a follicle test thanks for bringing this to my attention, imagine giving up weed for a month just to fail the follicle test. I gave up weed 2 days ago not moving down till the 1st so that gives me 3 weeks clean before I even start applying. I will definitely shave my head. 

Yes I am definitely going to apply to cr England and Schneider. Ya I know a lot of the company's pay for travel and lodging so I just figured I'd move to Maine bc the rent is cheaper. It's just that I need to be residing in the us and need a us license before they'll even look at me. Thanks for all the advice appreciate it


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## DaSprout (Aug 10, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Holy fuck never even thought about a follicle test thanks for bringing this to my attention, imagine giving up weed for a month just to fail the follicle test.


What's worse is they take that hair directly from your ball sack.


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## New Age United (Aug 10, 2016)

DaSprout said:


> What's worse is they take that hair directly from your ball sack.


Lol ya I thought about that. I don't have a problem shaving my nuts but am I gonna have to shave my legs and arms too you think?


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## VTMi'kmaq (Aug 10, 2016)

New Age United said:


> @DaSprout @sunni @supreme bean @qwizoking I've found the perfect solution for me, I'm going to become a trucker; I'm going to Maine in September. And I said I would never move to the states lol. It's perfect bc I can handle the solitude and it gives just enough interaction to keep me sane.


Youd fit right in.


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## DaSprout (Aug 10, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Lol ya I thought about that. I don't have a problem shaving my nuts but am I gonna have to shave my legs and arms too you think?


Completely hairless. Tell em it's a medical condition.


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## New Age United (Aug 10, 2016)

DaSprout said:


> Completely hairless. Tell em it's a medical condition.


Too funny! !!! I'll shave soon and hopefully it grows back enough that it doesn't look like I'm trying to hide something.


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## New Age United (Aug 10, 2016)

Shit do you think I'll have to shave my eyebrows lol. Will they even grow back? @DaSprout @qwizoking

If I just shave my head and it grows back they should just take the hair from my head no? What do guys honestly think?


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## DaSprout (Aug 10, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Shit do you think I'll have to shave my eyebrows lol. Will they even grow back? @DaSprout @qwizoking
> 
> If I just shave my head and it grows back they should just take the hair from my head no? What do guys honestly think?


Yeah. It will all grow back just like how it originally was. Bald spot.


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## verny (Sep 26, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Seeking hermetic wisdom and tranquility. I'm paranoid schizophrenic and at the age of 29 have experienced the full onset of the disease, which has left me kinda reclusive and lethargic. I used to be a very social person with an outgoing personality now I go to work and come home and drink beer all night; I have a few good friends that drop by quite a bit but other than that I have no social life. I'm paying $1600 a month for the house with heat and lights, I spend $450 a week on beer smokes and weed. You have to understand the disease you have absolutely no motivation you have to constantly consciously push yourself to work, life is a constant struggle, that's why so many people with mental illness end up on the street. Schizophrenia is a disability but is not recognized as such. I work for myself but I know I'm way too slack to work for anybody else I was never able to hold a job.
> 
> So since I am not able to go on disability due to ignorance of schizophrenia by society I am thinking of going on social assistance and abandoning society all together. I have $27000 to my name I'm thinking of buying an acre lot and putting a little hut with a slab and septic in and hoping that a few solar panels and windmills will keep a small refrigerator running. I already have the lot picked out its in the sticks the property tax will only be $600 a year I figure I can do with two cords of wood a year and hopefully find a nearby spring I can tap into. A single male gets $525 a month on welfare. I honestly think this is the best for my well being what do you think? I'll quit smoking and drinking, I'll grow outdoor my only expense would be property tax, wood, and food. Is there anything I'm overlooking?


remember,the mind is not YOU...its a sequence of thoughts,memories impressions,logic and what not.it is a device.not YOU.the device may get faulty and logic may get fuzzy occasionaly.but it will pass.plse try vippasana meditative techniques.by creating a gap between thoughts and awareness ul be able to handle the monkey mind a lot better!remember...whatever happens...stay calm and know it will pass....all things come to pass{buddha's last words}...shiva bless you!


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## New Age United (Sep 27, 2016)

verny said:


> remember,the mind is not YOU...its a sequence of thoughts,memories impressions,logic and what not.it is a device.not YOU.the device may get faulty and logic may get fuzzy occasionaly.but it will pass.plse try vippasana meditative techniques.by creating a gap between thoughts and awareness ul be able to handle the monkey mind a lot better!remember...whatever happens...stay calm and know it will pass....all things come to pass{buddha's last words}...shiva bless you!


Yes very wise words. This too will pass, all things are fleeting. I have been practicing meditation so long that I am now able to stop thinking at will and that period of no thought for minutes at a time. A book I would highly recommend is " A New Earth " by Eckhart Tolle. It is very liberarating to be able to stop the mind at will, like turning off the radio when an annoying song comes on.


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## New Age United (Sep 27, 2016)

This is a post you may be interested in https://www.rollitup.org/t/how-does-god-orchestrate-such-a-perfect-symphony.908731/page-2#post-12588919
@verny


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## New Age United (Sep 27, 2016)

Here's another one https://www.rollitup.org/t/reality.902475/#post-12416243
@verny


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## verny (Sep 27, 2016)

New Age United said:


> Yes very wise words. This too will pass, all things are fleeting. I have been practicing meditation so long that I am now able to stop thinking at will and that period of no thought for minutes at a time. A book I would highly recommend is " A New Earth " by Eckhart Tolle. It is very liberarating to be able to stop the mind at will, like turning off the radio when an annoying song comes on.


....bro...who is that will?..ur will is his will its always been thye will be done...i cant spell check nw..forgive my typo....bless u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## New Age United (Sep 27, 2016)

verny said:


> ....bro...who is that will?..ur will is his will its always been thye will be done...i cant spell check nw..forgive my typo....bless u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Yes your will is gods will, that's bc you are God. 

"If I err, I err only against my own soul, for in the Light i know Allah's will as my own will" Muhammad


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## verny (Sep 27, 2016)

bless you!....you r onto something.


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## verny (Sep 27, 2016)

New Age United said:


> This is a post you may be interested in https://www.rollitup.org/t/how-does-god-orchestrate-such-a-perfect-symphony.908731/page-2#post-12588919
> @verny


 plse remember!...schizophrenia is a word cooked up by the crazies who wrote the american dsm when they truly have no idea what the mind is!....these are assholes who push ritalin to kids!!!!

dude!...you are better than them!!!!!


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