# Nastiest Thing Ever Happened During Sex



## beatdown27 (Jan 28, 2008)

Ok beings there is nothing sacred on this site and we are all comfortable with eachother lets hear your dirtyest sac experience from puke to poop


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## Wh00p (Jan 28, 2008)

i was payed a small crack rock to have sex with a man, i how ever jacked him, and now hes chasing me down like a crazed redneck! OH NOES Here comes GARDEN KNOWM NOW!!! RUNNNN.....


(ahh later not now  )


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## pandabear (Jan 29, 2008)

damn i hope thats a joke


i was with a lady one night and this woman would lactate for no reason never even had a baby before. needless to say she kept being like "will you still like me in the morning" and like trying to really shove her tongue down my throat to make sure I actually liked her and shit, well i didnt really and just wanted to fuck her and I damn well sure didnt wanna be frenchin her, anyway long story short between that and the lactating titties i tossed her out before she gave it up and took my drunk ass outside and started throwing up all over the place.

and yes ive already told my fucking a gurl on the rag story too many times here, long story short she had a bloody puss a bloody ass I had a bloody dick a bloody stomach and the night was bloody nasty mess. amazing what you will do once u have began trying to catch a nut


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## Inneedofbuds (Jan 29, 2008)

My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.


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## pandabear (Jan 29, 2008)

looooool thats some nasty shit


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## GIJoe8383 (Jan 29, 2008)

one time, i stuck my cock in my girlfriends asshole and when i took it out, the condom was darker and looked like shit fumes got on it..it kinda mselt like shit


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## jamiemichelle (Jan 29, 2008)

pandabear said:


> long story short she had a bloody puss a bloody ass I had a bloody dick a bloody stomach and the night was bloody nasty mess. amazing what you will do once u have began trying to catch a nut


 
wtf... lmfao...that IS fucking sick.


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## fdd2blk (Jan 29, 2008)

she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.


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## pandabear (Jan 29, 2008)

holy canollies brother! did u go to the hospitol!!! man i would be so scared on any down stroke from that day on. That almost happened to me once I an had to stop sexing cuz i was too afraid she would do it again i heard u can actually break the little bugger


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## sleepytown (Jan 29, 2008)

fdd2blk said:


> she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.


Is that like penis supercropping? Did your balls grow?

S-Town


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## mattso101 (Jan 29, 2008)

Going down on my GF when we first met and she farted pretty much up my nostrils. eww. She says she was trying to concentrate and didnt even know it was coming. We laughed it off. that was 5 years ago and were still together.


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## pandabear (Jan 29, 2008)

mattso101 said:


> Going down on my GF when we first met and she farted pretty much up my nostrils. eww. She says she was trying to concentrate and didnt even know it was coming. We laughed it off. that was 5 years ago and were still together.


lol man thats a good one too, lol that will make a stiffy go limp

but damn man 5 years of huffing farts? thats tough




j/k


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## fdd2blk (Jan 29, 2008)

sleepytown said:


> Is that like penis supercropping? Did your balls grow?
> 
> S-Town



it was definitely thicker.


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## jamiemichelle (Jan 29, 2008)

mattso101 said:


> Going down on my GF when we first met and she farted pretty much up my nostrils. eww. She says she was trying to concentrate and didnt even know it was coming. We laughed it off. that was 5 years ago and were still together.


Yeah Ive had a dude fart while having sex....come to think of it its happend a few times... I think I was so fuckin horny I didnt care. 
But if one accidently slipped when someone was down on me I think Id die.


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## mattso101 (Jan 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Yeah Ive had a dude fart while having sex....come to think of it its happend a few times... I think I was so fuckin horny I didnt care.
> But if one accidently slipped when someone was down on me I think Id die.


Yeah it was kinda uncomfterble for both of us you can imagine but we got past that embarrassing stage of the relationship very fast


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## Erniedytn (Jan 29, 2008)

Inneedofbuds said:


> My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.


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## aattocchi (Jan 29, 2008)

fdd2blk said:


> she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.


 Damn, my dick just felt like it broke reading this, ouch bud!


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## name101 (Jan 30, 2008)

About 13 or so years ago, My now wife and I were in our teens, I guess we were around 15 or so, and went for a walk in the summer. We were both horny and saw a port O potty in the park and nobody was around. I looked inside and it was pretty clean so we went in. We were going at it really good and guess I didn't notice the rocking. Yeah, anyway it tipped over. IT SUCKED. 

We got out and there was this one guy that must have come while we were inside and was laughing his ass off.


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## Tashwitz (Jan 30, 2008)

When this guy and I first started dating we were going at it pretty good and all of a sudden my shoulder and neck felt really wet. Well I just kind of blew of off because I thought it was his sweat. ten seconds later he realized that his nose was bleeding. I was covered in blood from my neck to the upper part of my tummy. lol

It was sick as fuck but we laugh about it now =]


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## Tashwitz (Jan 30, 2008)

name101 said:


> About 13 or so years ago, My now wife and I were in our teens, I guess we were around 15 or so, and went for a walk in the summer. We were both horny and saw a port O potty in the park and nobody was around. I looked inside and it was pretty clean so we went in. We were going at it really good and guess I didn't notice the rocking. Yeah, anyway it tipped over. IT SUCKED.
> 
> We got out and there was this one guy that must have come while we were inside and was laughing his ass off.


lmao


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## Tashwitz (Jan 30, 2008)

Inneedofbuds said:


> My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.


oh my god.
you're lucky that your dick didn't get bitten off.
oh my god.
That sucks!


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## Tashwitz (Jan 30, 2008)

fdd2blk said:


> she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.




holy.junk.


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## gohydro (Jan 30, 2008)

pandabear said:


> lol man thats a good one too, lol that will make a stiffy go limp
> 
> but damn man 5 years of huffing farts? thats tough
> 
> ...


Hey Panda....reminds me of the guy who was a virgin and went to a hooker looking for experience prior to his wedding night. She offered him 69 (which he had no knowledge of) and proceeded to get in the position. After a while the hooker had to fart. She looked down and noticed he didn't flinch. To which she asked" are you OK down there?" His answer was...."Yeah, but I don't know if I can handle 68 more of those".


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## closet.cult (Jan 30, 2008)

i've never had a really embarrasing moment during sex, except if you count WHO i was in bed with. when i was a younger man it was about quantity, not quality. 

but once i was getting heavy, clothes-on action that progressed into half clothes-off, just stick it inside sex. i guess she forgot she was wearing a tampon and we got that thing stuck so far up her she couldn't get it out when we realized. I didn't even feel it  but it took me about 5 mins of fishing with claw fingers in a TIGHT space before I pulled the thing out.

good thing it wasn't messy.


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## ToastyBowlDropper (Jan 31, 2008)

One time, my bf and i were getting into some forepay. he decided it was a good idea to soak strawberries in vodka and sugar, put them in the freezer and feed me frozen strawberries that hardly even tasted like liquer!!! sneaky. anyways, i was getting drunk kinda fast becuase these things must have measured out to a shot each. he got really hard heally fast, which always turns me on, and i went to pull him out. i was about 5 minutes into sucking when i felt like i was gonna throw up. i pulled my lips off... and burped super loud! i blushed so hard. he just laughed when he looked down and saw me stairing back, covering my mouth, beet-red and shocked at myself. 2 years later he still thinks it was one of the cuitest things ive ever done.


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## brasmith (Jan 31, 2008)

So this one at band camp......NOT.

It took me a long time to decide to try giving a blow job. Finally I gave one and he went pee in my mouth so I spit it in his face and never looked back at him. Years later, after being tramatized from the first one, I tried again, and he liked it and he pees in toilets.


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## Dannydee (Jan 31, 2008)

name101 said:


> About 13 or so years ago, My now wife and I were in our teens, I guess we were around 15 or so, and went for a walk in the summer. We were both horny and saw a port O potty in the park and nobody was around. I looked inside and it was pretty clean so we went in. We were going at it really good and guess I didn't notice the rocking. Yeah, anyway it tipped over. IT SUCKED.
> 
> We got out and there was this one guy that must have come while we were inside and was laughing his ass off.


OMG LMAO thats some funny shit 

i guess the wrost thing ever happen to me is trying to stop my drunk b4 from giving me head while i was on my peroid..he still fuck me that night i was so grossed out first he had a condom on then he took it off and kept going, pulled his dick out and ewww it was covered in cum and blood then went right back to fucking 

 i know now to hide from him when its that time


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## korvette1977 (Jan 31, 2008)

gohydro said:


> Hey Panda....reminds me of the guy who was a virgin and went to a hooker looking for experience prior to his wedding night. She offered him 69 (which he had no knowledge of) and proceeded to get in the position. After a while the hooker had to fart. She looked down and noticed he didn't flinch. To which she asked" are you OK down there?" His answer was...."Yeah, but I don't know if I can handle 68 more of those".


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## skunkman98536 (Jan 31, 2008)

welll about a yr ago....this isnt nasty... just kinda funny/wierd...

I might the girl im with now .. and i wored with her and girl named haether .. and who ..

They both wanted to come over and play beer pong with us .. se we wer like suuure no problem .. so they come over after work .. but we didnt pla beer pong instead (me and my buddies rented a house) .. we three go up to my bedroom .. which the door doesnt lock ... (i wished to god it had still .. but that my lil secret) ... so they are pretty much light wieghts .. we get to drinking or what not... im makin screwdrivers for us .. ti start playing my guitar and just fukina round .. then next thing i kno im leaning against the wall making out with heather .. and my now g/f was just lookin at me saotarts going at it .. then silly me i was like "u kno what wud be hott .. is if u 2 kissed" spo they lookied at eachother an dfukin started going at it hardcore man i was like YEAAA then next thing i remember is us in our underwear and still just kissing and rbbign and sucking and bitting and the take their panties off and i took my boxers off and my now g/f was sucking my dick and i was makin out heather .. then they switched .. this goes on for like 15mins then both ofme were like .. Jake(shudnt my name but w/e) fuk us i was liek SCORE haha then my fucking stupid ass roommates come in with a video camera recording it all ...my g/f never lives this one down .... buttt butt like the next day at work everyone was like dude u had a threesome and i was like no i didnt .. i wish but no i didnt .. today i still tell my g/f that i wud have only fuked her .. but i wuda fuked both of them hahah thats for fukin sure !!!


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## octafunk (Jan 31, 2008)

I fucked a fat girl and stunk the whole house up. Sex to me has a pleasant smell but not this one. Not with a girl whose pussy ate my fist.


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## brasmith (Feb 1, 2008)

Now that is nasty plain ol' gross


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## Nickkie62 (Feb 1, 2008)

brasmith said:


> So this one at band camp......NOT.
> 
> It took me a long time to decide to try giving a blow job. Finally I gave one and he went pee in my mouth so I spit it in his face and never looked back at him. Years later, after being tramatized from the first one, I tried again, and he liked it and he pees in toilets.



I thought it was impossible to pee while having an erection? That suckkks


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 1, 2008)

octafunk said:


> I fucked a fat girl and stunk the whole house up. Sex to me has a pleasant smell but not this one. Not with a girl whose pussy ate my fist.


One of the reasons Ive been scared to be with a woman...thats effen sick...and woulda been kicked out tha door fasho!


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## Cubano1211 (Feb 1, 2008)

nahh Nickie its not impossible.. havent you seen 40 year old Virgin?  hahah


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## brasmith (Feb 1, 2008)

nope not impossible......but during the blow job I noticed he concentrated just a bit too much and then he let go. Personally I think he was into humiliating women so he could feel powerful.


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## octafunk (Feb 1, 2008)

Its sort of like a dog. They generally don*t smell in till you get them wet. Same situation. I didn*t know what I was in for in till it was a little to late.


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 1, 2008)

brasmith said:


> nope not impossible......but during the blow job I noticed he concentrated just a bit too much and then he let go. Personally I think he was into humiliating women so he could feel powerful.


Someone pissed on me in the shower once...even though it was in the shower I still felt it was a tad disrespectful... same guy spit on my pussy while he was eating me out... I slapped him on the side of his head... I didnt need any lubrication and we're not in an effen porno.


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## Cubano1211 (Feb 1, 2008)

haha damn Jamie your a gansta, slapping him in the head for spitting on your pussy haha


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## korvette1977 (Feb 1, 2008)

I was Fucking this one girl everyway I could bend her ,after fucking every hole she had i felt the need to nutt in her ass.. So I pump her ass till i blow my load . and after i pull out she spins around and licks me clean. I was shocked but then glad I never kissed her ..


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 1, 2008)

Cubano1211 said:


> haha damn Jamie your a gansta, slapping him in the head for spitting on your pussy haha


Lmfao...
It just sounded kinda gross and it really killed the mood... 
Totally reminded me of a raunchy porno.


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## upinchronic1 (Feb 1, 2008)

Yeah that old period smell is the worst, like blood sitting after a couple days is the worst smell fucking ever, like literally rotting fish, but anyways one time after sex i was like wtf is that smell, the windows were open so i figured it must be the stench of some carbage outside but nope, i got up next to my bitch and it was all her!!! Dude my crotch reaked all day, like if the air was still the fummes would make it through my shorts and all the way up to my nose, ewww. But its all good, havnt smelled it again that bad yet, ill just take a brake next time on that time of the month.


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## TEUFELHuNDEN420 (Feb 1, 2008)

I honest to god fucked a half eskimo when i lived in alaska. & the pussy was not ice cold


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## Budda_Luva (Feb 1, 2008)

i was bunny hopin wit my gurl all over the damn placed and i droped ass


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## upinchronic1 (Feb 1, 2008)

TEUFELHuNDEN420 said:


> I honest to god fucked a half eskimo when i lived in alaska. & the pussy was not ice cold


wow nice one...


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## Tashwitz (Feb 2, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Someone pissed on me in the shower once...even though it was in the shower I still felt it was a tad disrespectful... same guy spit on my pussy while he was eating me out... I slapped him on the side of his head... I didnt need any lubrication and we're not in an effen porno.


ew i fucking hate that


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## hempmeister (Feb 2, 2008)

many years ago I was lying on my back while wifey was down below doing her business.right when I blew she quit sucking and managed to put my own load on my chin.


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## panhead (Feb 2, 2008)

About 30 years ago i had a girlfriend who was a serious freak & i mean serious,she loved everything & wanted everything done to her every time,i mean hair pulled,ass slapped,ass fucked the whole 9 yards,i was cool with it too.

Anyhow we were getting down & she wanted me to suck on her toe's,i figured what the hell,she just got out of the shower & was always squeeky clean so why not,here i am suckin away on her lil toe when i felt something in my throat,i stopped sucking & tried to cough it up but it just dug in & hurt like hell,i had to slam a beer & eat it cause it wasnt comming up.

Later that night she was putting on her socks to go home & she said "LOOK AT MY TOE !!!,her lil toenail was gone,i sucked that puppy right off !!

I dont mess with feet's anymore


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## We1 (Feb 2, 2008)

My buddy has a huge cock, walked in on him one night at a casino party (probably bout 11-12inches)(I had to get a beer you know), we were running a train on a girl and I needed to get a beer because I met a girl on the elevator (never even made it down to the casino!) as I was going to play some slots, anyways we go back up to the room Im smashed already, I grab a beer for the girl,(Mind you 5 minutes after I get done blasting a chick in the ass!) I get tramatized looking at my buddy just chilling with his boner in hand. Get the beer and go into the hotel bathroom, she is like so how many people have you gotten tonight? (Ick what a slut!) So she starts sucking me off in the shower, (me and my poopy dick) and then we start going at it..I mean i was just slamming her head against the tub, then she is like "do anything you want to me" so I pull it out stick it in her ass, as Im pounding away Im bout to nut and she is like "I want you to cum in my mouth" so I pull it out and put it back in her mouth and let it go..About 5-10 seconds later she looks up and she has shit on the side of her mouth, absolutely disgusting wether in the shower or not.... NOw back to my buddy, I get out of the shower the girl disappears, probably a little embarressed..and my buddy is like hey check this out, he was blasting this other girl in the ass as well, the bed sheets were covered in shit juice! His beater was covered in shit juice..The room smelt like dirty asshole, needless to say he got dibbs on the shower next, anyways sorry this is so long but the next day he is like WTF are these red bumps on my cock??? He leaves work and goes to the clinic (he is fucking tripping out at this point) anyways it turns out it was just a bacteria infection not the ole herpes, from getting asshole juice all over his shit. Long story short we dont fuck bitches in the ass no more, its just disgusting, the inside of the ass is like the nastiest place on earth! Even worse than inner city detroit!


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 2, 2008)

panhead said:


> ....Later that night she was putting on her socks to go home & she said "LOOK AT MY TOE !!!,her lil toenail was gone,i sucked that puppy right off !! I dont mess with feet's anymore


Ewww reminds me of a story one of my friends told me... She said she was givin her hubby head, and the next day her throat started feelin itchy and within hours her throat started swelling up... Eventually it got so bad she couldnt breathe, so she went to the ER and she actually had a pube that had imbedded itself in the lining of her throat. She said she told the doc it musta been a cat hair... but she said she was laughed at for saying it... AWKWARD.

Perfect example of why all men need to MANSCAPE. 

</IMG>


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## mattso101 (Feb 2, 2008)

my sisters boyfriend is a ER nurse and some came in an said they slipped in the shower and landed on the soap dish that went right up thier ass. So the sent her to Xrays and say that the soap dish was shaped just like a Dildo. Duhh. so they had good laugh and then asked her what "Soapdish" does she have


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## We1 (Feb 2, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Ewww reminds me of a story one of my friends told me... She said she was givin her hubby head, and the next day her throat started feelin itchy and within hours her throat started swelling up... Eventually it got so bad she couldnt breathe, so she went to the ER and she actually had a pube that had imbedded itself in the lining of her throat. She said she told the doc it musta been a cat hair... but she said she was laughed at for saying it... AWKWARD.
> 
> Perfect example of why all men need to MANSCAPE.
> 
> </IMG>


Lol-that would suck!
LMFAO-MANSCAPE!


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 2, 2008)

We1 said:


> Lol-that would suck!
> LMFAO-MANSCAPE!


Btw We1 your ass juice story made me a bit nauseated... lol.


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## We1 (Feb 2, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Btw We1 your ass juice story made me a bit nauseated... lol.


Shoulda smelt the aroma...Gag-eriffic! Never-Ever again!!! Although still to this day my buddy wants to know how I did it, wasn't even gone five minutes didn't even make it off the elevator, I don't really remember, there was three people on the elevator, a couple and the girl, the couple told me my shirt was on inside out, the couple got off on the second floor, and I took off my shirt and the girl helped me get it back on, guess she musta liked my body...that or she was just really slutty...Anyways that was the first and only time I banged two chicks in one night, although I did tell one chick I hadn't got laid in however long even though I fucked a girl the night before. Jeez what happened to me??? Now I practically have to beg to get a suck off, that or I have to smoke um up, that remind me about 1 month ago I woke up next to a Godzilla Biotch!!!! It kinda made me wanna quit drinking! Well at least I don't really remember shit, the only reason I remembered anything at all was cause I had hickies all over my neck.


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## panhead (Feb 2, 2008)

mattso101 said:


> my sisters boyfriend is a ER nurse and some came in an said they slipped in the shower and landed on the soap dish that went right up thier ass. So the sent her to Xrays and say that the soap dish was shaped just like a Dildo. Duhh. so they had good laugh and then asked her what "Soapdish" does she have


I wonder if it looked like this.Potatoes and Jelly #1


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## EZELL (Feb 2, 2008)

I like pissin on hoes but they get madd


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 2, 2008)

EZELL said:


> I like pissin on hoes but they get madd


Yah if you pissed on me you would get a knee straight to the nuts... Although I have been pissed on...in the shower... not too happy...
Some dude I dated always said shit like "you can pee on me if you want that would be sexy" 

WTF.... NO FUCKING THANK YOU! 
I mean, then what after the piss absorbs in his bed his room is gonna reek of urine...

Weirdo.


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 2, 2008)

We1 said:


> ...the only reason I remembered anything at all was cause I had hickies all over my neck.


Hickeys=White Trash.

Gross. That hoe needed to be donkey punched.


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## iamomeed (Feb 2, 2008)

not a sex story but a gross story,

i had this fat nasty female patient once. she came in bc her pussy had a bad odor. so me being a student i get handed the nasty patients. i put her legs up on the stirrups and the whole room stunk up. it smelled like bigfoot's asshole after eating mexican sushi. 

the nurse started gagging, i started gagging, the attending out side fainted. the sprinklers turned on lol jk anyways i open her up look inside and pulled out a toungue ring or a cockring, one of those things, which had caused a bad bacterial infection. and she says "ohhhh we were looking for that, so thats where it was"


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 2, 2008)

Yeah I worked with docs doin pap smears before... I assisted...
Once we had a patient that had a tampon in her for a month and when he pulled it out of her it was green...BARF.

Once there was a patient that was hella fat, and had a yeast infection that spread into her fat rolls on her legs... 

Ive smelled pussies so bad that theyve ruined my appetite for the day.

Ughhh.


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## fdd2blk (Feb 2, 2008)

i just love women.


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## Kamisori (Feb 3, 2008)

iamomeed said:


> not a sex story but a gross story,
> 
> i had this fat nasty female patient once. she came in bc her pussy had a bad odor. so me being a student i get handed the nasty patients. i put her legs up on the stirrups and the whole room stunk up. it smelled like bigfoot's asshole after eating mexican sushi.
> 
> the nurse started gagging, i started gagging, the attending out side fainted. the sprinklers turned on lol jk anyways i open her up look inside and pulled out a toungue ring or a cockring, one of those things, which had caused a bad bacterial infection. and she says "ohhhh we were looking for that, so thats where it was"


That's fucking sick, man. I think I'd quit after that happend to me.


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## upinchronic1 (Feb 3, 2008)

iamomeed said:


> not a sex story but a gross story,
> 
> i had this fat nasty female patient once. she came in bc her pussy had a bad odor. so me being a student i get handed the nasty patients. i put her legs up on the stirrups and the whole room stunk up. it smelled like bigfoot's asshole after eating mexican sushi.
> 
> the nurse started gagging, i started gagging, the attending out side fainted. the sprinklers turned on lol jk anyways i open her up look inside and pulled out a toungue ring or a cockring, one of those things, which had caused a bad bacterial infection. and she says "ohhhh we were looking for that, so thats where it was"


sounds even worse then a stale period vagina, damn i feel for you, stinky pussies are so wrong


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## We1 (Feb 3, 2008)

EZELL said:


> I like pissin on hoes but they get madd


Did you piss on that ho in your picture?? She looks like she would have liked it! Did you slap her titties around and call her a dirty skanky slut? Did you spit in her eye or throw feces at her melons?


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## EZELL (Feb 3, 2008)

We1 said:


> Did you piss on that ho in your picture?? She looks like she would have liked it! Did you slap her titties around and call her a dirty skanky slut? Did you spit in her eye or throw feces at her melons?


OH YOU GOT JOKES? I BET YOU LIKE THAT YORSELF^^^^ MEN CALLIN YOU DURTY SKENK WHILE THEY DONKIE PUNCH YOU AND SMEAR YOUR OWN POOP IN YO MOUTH HAHA.


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## BIGMIKE13 (Feb 3, 2008)

We1 said:


> Did you piss on that ho in your picture?? She looks like she would have liked it! Did you slap her titties around and call her a dirty skanky slut? Did you spit in her eye or throw feces at her melons?


no he pisses on his plants... i bet you will get all females if she does it for you !!!!

j/k.....dont pee on your plants...


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## gogrow (Feb 5, 2008)

fdd2blk said:


> she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.


roflmfao!!! only cause it has happened to me once, most ungodly pain i have experienced next to kidney stones


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## korvette1977 (Feb 5, 2008)

2 girls 1 cup .. has to be the nasiest sex ever no? was that even sex ...? or just a shitfest


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## gogrow (Feb 5, 2008)

korvette1977 said:


> 2 girls 1 cup .. has to be the nasiest sex ever no? was that even sex ...? or just a shitfest


after hearing about the "two girls, one cup" video, i had to find it, yes that is some nasty shit, but it pales in comparison to some of the stuff i bypassed to find it.


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## Zekedogg (Feb 5, 2008)

One time i put my finger in my butt because I was curious what it would feel like


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## upinchronic1 (Feb 5, 2008)

Hey Zeke, thats crazy, How was it man ?


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## mattso101 (Feb 5, 2008)

even worse 2 girls one finger. Couldnt watch it. ewwwwwww


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## jomal206 (Feb 5, 2008)

2 girls 1 finger!?!?! I don't wanna know....


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## Nickkie62 (Feb 6, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Someone pissed on me in the shower once...even though it was in the shower I still felt it was a tad disrespectful... same guy spit on my pussy while he was eating me out... I slapped him on the side of his head... I didnt need any lubrication and we're not in an effen porno.



hahah i did the same exact thing...he was confused about why i was insulted


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## korvette1977 (Feb 10, 2008)

Zekedogg said:


> One time i put my finger in my butt because I was curious what it would feel like




OH MAN ,,, Thats just WRONG ..


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## WeFallToday (Feb 13, 2008)

This girl was deepthroating me..she starting gagging...then threw up all over it


pretty sick


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## foxtrot (Feb 14, 2008)

Inneedofbuds said:


> My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.



thats legendary ! LOL(feel like a dude off of grandmas boy)


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## thunderchunkie (Feb 20, 2008)

Picked up a totally hammered broad in Ottawa one night when I was playin on the road.
Pretty much had both of her legs up behind her ears and was givin her hell. All i heard was splat! she spewed shit all over me, the bed, it was everywhere. I did finish though. My bass player said I should have had the sheets bronzed and hung on my apartment wall. Never saw her again interestingly enough


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## Rocky Mountain High (Feb 22, 2008)

You fucked the Shit outta her!! Hee hee


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## shadymyster555 (Feb 22, 2008)

INNEEDOFBUD - The EXACT same thing happened to me, a few hours ago, today. My girlfriend and I had sex, but I wanted to bust in her mouth instead of the pussy today which I do not normally do. Anyways, I busted, and she sort of sneezed/coughed and a little bit of cum come out, sort of like trying to hold in a sneeze. I busted out laughing and thought it was hilarious. It did not come out of her nose but there was so much cum to swallow I guess she forgot how to handle it :_)


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## Girlgonegreen (Feb 23, 2008)

the worst thing that ever happened to me is that one time i was having sex with this guy and everything was going great, i even just got off my period the day before. 
so here we are fucking on his bed, and all of sudden he stops and gives me this horrid look and i see that my period was only on pause, and decided to start right back up again. therfore i bleed all over the poor guy but he didnt know what to do but run to the bathroom screaming trying to wash the blood off, but atleast he wasnt so grossed out he never wanted to have sex again! lol


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## Farm Friend (Feb 28, 2008)

Did you get the knot out?


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## MsMILFweed (Feb 28, 2008)

Inneedofbuds said:


> My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.


Ewwwwww.... bwahahahahahaha


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## oscarmiya (Feb 28, 2008)

lol mattso... Man.. I dont know if this is true or not but my cousin told me he was bangin his old girl in the ass and when he pulled out it was just left gappin open but... lol he said a turd.. fully shaped just like popped out and by the time she reacted it just cut it off and fell on the bed.

So gross it scared me just hearing it. Made me laugh my ass off though.. but for real that is fuckin gross, but how could you not just be like, "What.... the.... fuck just happend? hell no, did you just shit a turd on the bed... The HELL if I am cleaning that up." Like.. how do you laugh that off and play like it never happend?? lol


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 28, 2008)

oscarmiya said:


> lol mattso... Man.. I dont know if this is true or not but my cousin told me he was bangin his old girl in the ass and when he pulled out it was just left gappin open but... lol he said a turd.. fully shaped just like popped out and by the time she reacted it just cut it off and fell on the bed.
> 
> So gross it scared me just hearing it. Made me laugh my ass off though.. but for real that is fuckin gross, but how could you not just be like, "What.... the.... fuck just happend? hell no, did you just shit a turd on the bed... The HELL if I am cleaning that up." Like.. how do you laugh that off and play like it never happend?? lol


Nothing kills the moment for me more than, GAPING ass on porn. .


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## ScarletteSky (Feb 28, 2008)

fdd2blk said:


> she was on top. takin' it home. full strokes. it popped out. she came down HARD. folded it right in half. i had a knot on it for 6 months. straight up broke me.


0_o did you get the eggplant syndrome? I heard it was painful and it happens when your dick breaks in half basically. Did your weenis swell up and turn purple?!


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## ScarletteSky (Feb 28, 2008)

*sigh* Where should I fucking start? Ok, let me start with my first b/f. Who while giving me some great oral action, fucking couldn't hold a fart in to save his life. I swear, right in the middle of everything too. 90 seconds of horror. Needless to say, I didn't finish. I was pretending to laugh too hard. *shakes head* 


In a freak twist, the person I am with now, after having some hot cow girl riding sex, farts after I finish and while I am still on top of him. I felt the air......it was aweful. 



I feel like there is another one someone like that....but I don't remember......perhaps I will later.


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 28, 2008)

ScarletteSky said:


> *sigh* Where should I fucking start? Ok, let me start with my first b/f. Who while giving me some great oral action, fucking couldn't hold a fart in to save his life. I swear, right in the middle of everything too. 90 seconds of horror. Needless to say, I didn't finish. I was pretending to laugh too hard. *shakes head*
> 
> 
> In a freak twist, the person I am with now, after having some hot cow girl riding sex, farts after I finish and while I am still on top of him. I felt the air......it was aweful.
> ...


Im about to give up and turn lesbian.


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## BIGMIKE13 (Feb 28, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Im about to give up and turn lesbian.


i was born lesbian..


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 28, 2008)

BIGMIKE13 said:


> i was born lesbian..


Of course you were .


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## EZELL (Feb 29, 2008)

Ezell Give It To All Hoes. Gangstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.


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## MsMILFweed (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Someone pissed on me in the shower once...even though it was in the shower I still felt it was a tad disrespectful... same guy spit on my pussy while he was eating me out... I slapped him on the side of his head... I didnt need any lubrication and we're not in an effen porno.


Now wtf is it with men that they think sex has to be done like in a porno?? Eww, that was disrespectful.


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## MsMILFweed (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Im about to give up and turn lesbian.


I did.. it's much better, really!  Women know what women want and there's no spittin' on yer snatch.


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## kayasgarden (Feb 29, 2008)

i have bloody sex all the time i love fuckin on the rag, glad the hubby doent mind it we would both be missing out


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

MsMILFweed said:


> I did.. it's much better, really!  Women know what women want and there's no spittin' on yer snatch.


I bet.


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## oscarmiya (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> I bet.


lol Gappin assholes are def. a turn off in a porno, some poeple may like it but I find that shit repulsive... I kinda think a gappin open pussy is a little blah too... Don't get me wrong here, just saying I would prefer it stay's closed.

About the whole disrespectful spitting issue... When a girls blowin a dude, it's kinda hot to have her spit on it, not to mention the lubrication only makes things better. I am sure that is/was the mind-set of any respectable man, definatley not out of disgust or disrespect... unless the jackass lets like a loogey go... I am a guy and I would THINK it would be more disrespectful for a girl to take a load in the face rather than a little spit on the snatch? The spitting was done with good intentions and only for your pleasure. No harm or disrespect I am sure was involved or intended... unless again I am just completely underestimating the men you girls get offended by...


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

oscarmiya said:


> lol Gappin assholes are def. a turn off in a porno, some poeple may like it but I find that shit repulsive... I kinda think a gappin open pussy is a little blah too... Don't get me wrong here, just saying I would prefer it stay's closed.
> 
> About the whole disrespectful spitting issue... When a girls blowin a dude, it's kinda hot to have her spit on it, not to mention the lubrication only makes things better. I am sure that is/was the mind-set of any respectable man, definatley not out of disgust or disrespect... unless the jackass lets like a loogey go... I am a guy and I would THINK it would be more disrespectful for a girl to take a load in the face rather than a little spit on the snatch? The spitting was done with good intentions and only for your pleasure. No harm or disrespect I am sure was involved or intended... unless again I am just completely underestimating the men you girls get offended by...


Yes, Gaping vaginas are nasty too. 

And I dont really get offended by much but ya for some reason Id rather have other things done to my snatch to get it wet, than having it spit on.


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## oscarmiya (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Yes, Gaping vaginas are nasty too.
> 
> And I dont really get offended by much but ya for some reason Id rather have other things done to my snatch to get it wet, than having it spit on.


Lol like what? j/k... I hear ya. After reading your original post I was like.. uh oh.. I've done that lol.. I didn't ever get any girls Wet by USING spit to begin with, only when I was down, toung crazy did I 'add' a little extra to the mix... We all have our pet peve's/preferences and that is understandable. I had to justify myself by atleast posting the fact I am sure he ment no disrespect or harm.


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## pinksensa (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Yah if you pissed on me you would get a knee straight to the nuts... Although I have been pissed on...in the shower... not too happy...
> Some dude I dated always said shit like "you can pee on me if you want that would be sexy"
> 
> WTF.... NO FUCKING THANK YOU!
> ...


 Jamie jamie jamie you piss on them in the tub make them get on there hands and knees then you stand in front of them put one leg up on the side of the tub and let her rip.......wink wink


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## oscarmiya (Feb 29, 2008)

lmao.. that is fucking disgusting. Pardon my language but if some bitch purposly pissed on me, I would flip. Pink Sensa huh? What style?


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> Jamie jamie jamie you piss on them in the tub make them get on there hands and knees then you stand in front of them put one leg up on the side of the tub and let her rip.......wink wink


HAhaha... well that would be an option if I were still, you know... having sex. hahh. I am becoming completely content with being alone.


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## pinksensa (Feb 29, 2008)

I do so much weird shit its hard for me to think of something nasty but heres a gross one...okay so I dont know why but I cant not becuz Im an asshole but I just cant tell someone when they have something n their nose, it embarasses me to tell them, so a few weeks ago I was with one of my lovvaaas and well it was horrible cuz he had something in his nose the whole time (eww Im remembering that this is the nastiest thing ever I had blocked it out) and I couldnt say anything but then I couldnt look up and I like to have my eyes open and so I am trying to hurry things along and the more he gets into it the thing in is nose is moving and getting more like its going to come at me then he cums and then he relaxes into my chest and puts his face just below my shoulder and like nuzzles and is there for a sec (Im in block out mode right now cuz if I would have been thinking i would have freaked the fuck out and thrown up) when he raised up his nose didnt have anything in it and Im wiping all over my shoulder ewwwwwww.....ok now i have to forget that again..


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

oscarmiya said:


> lmao.. that is fucking disgusting. Pardon my language but if some bitch purposly pissed on me, I would flip. Pink Sensa huh? What style?


When I was younger my step moms best friend, owned a indonesian shop on the island of kauai. Her and her new husband owned the store. Her new husbands EX wife moved all the way from NY and opened up an art gallery right next door. The Ex came in their shop one day and my step moms friend pissed on her husband... While she was screaming and yelling the whole time. Like pissing on her territory shit. I was only 14 so I was floored.


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## pinksensa (Feb 29, 2008)

oscarmiya said:


> lmao.. that is fucking disgusting. Pardon my language but if some bitch purposly pissed on me, I would flip. Pink Sensa huh? What style?


Oh no I only do that submissive men who want me to no doubt it turns me on but I think its the humiliation that turns me on well yeah and the dirty naughty tabooishness of it turns me on but I wouldnt even bring that up as I thought to someone who I didnt know was into really freaky fetish stuff I can compartmentalize!!!

I cant be a freak all the time....most of the time I just want my tight wet wet p*ssy played with then 3 hour rounds of marathon sex with my hyper flexible legs that Y back over my shoulders when Im on my back........lol I love to use words...ha ha


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## LION~of~ZION (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> And I dont really get offended by much but ya for some reason Id rather have other things done to my snatch to get it wet, than having it spit on.


You mean you dont like having a guy spit a huge wad of nasty saliva on your pussy like he's spitting a goober out of a truck window? lmao

since when did lame porn sex become the ideal of 'good' sex... what a shame seriously


----------



## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> I do so much weird shit its hard for me to think of something nasty but heres a gross one...okay so I dont know why but I cant not becuz Im an asshole but I just cant tell someone when they have something n their nose, it embarasses me to tell them, so a few weeks ago I was with one of my lovvaaas and well it was horrible cuz he had something in his nose the whole time (eww Im remembering that this is the nastiest thing ever I had blocked it out) and I couldnt say anything but then I couldnt look up and I like to have my eyes open and so I am trying to hurry things along and the more he gets into it the thing in is nose is moving and getting more like its going to come at me then he cums and then he relaxes into my chest and puts his face just below my shoulder and like nuzzles and is there for a sec (Im in block out mode right now cuz if I would have been thinking i would have freaked the fuck out and thrown up) when he raised up his nose didnt have anything in it and Im wiping all over my shoulder ewwwwwww.....ok now i have to forget that again..


Omg that is so gross... Boogers have been first date enders for me. . I always do booger checks, I would die if I ever had snot in my nose and someone saw.


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## pinksensa (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> When I was younger my step moms best friend, owned a indonesian shop on the island of kauai. Her and her new husband owned the store. Her new husbands EX wife moved all the way from NY and opened up an art gallery right next door. The Ex came in their shop one day and my step moms friend pissed on her husband... While she was screaming and yelling the whole time. Like pissing on her territory shit. I was only 14 so I was floored.


No no thats not what im into lol ha aha I really more like for a guy to watch me pee and kiss me while I pee, If I have to pee on him then he has to take a shower and that takes away from time that could be spent licking my puss or fucking me..


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## pinksensa (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Omg that is so gross... Boogers have been first date enders for me. . I always do booger checks, I would die if I ever had snot in my nose and someone saw.


you are for sure one of those friends that would make me look and make me tell you if you had anything...ha ha


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

LION~of~ZION said:


> You mean you dont like having a guy spit a huge wad of nasty saliva on your pussy like he's spitting a goober out of a truck window? lmao
> 
> since when did lame porn sex become the ideal of 'good' sex... what a shame seriously


THANK YOU!!!


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## jamiemichelle (Feb 29, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> you are for sure one of those friends that would make me look and make me tell you if you had anything...ha ha


I am actually. My friends and I say "b-c" aka booger check. Lmfao.


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## pinksensa (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> I am actually. My friends and I say "b-c" aka booger check. Lmfao.


I knew it...lmao


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## oscarmiya (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> When I was younger my step moms best friend, owned a indonesian shop on the island of kauai. Her and her new husband owned the store. Her new husbands EX wife moved all the way from NY and opened up an art gallery right next door. The Ex came in their shop one day and my step moms friend pissed on her husband... While she was screaming and yelling the whole time. Like pissing on her territory shit. I was only 14 so I was floored.


What the hell lol.. that is very odd. Crazy women! haha



pinksensa said:


> Oh no I only do that submissive men who want me to no doubt it turns me on but I think its the humiliation that turns me on well yeah and the dirty naughty tabooishness of it turns me on but I wouldnt even bring that up as I thought to someone who I didnt know was into really freaky fetish stuff I can compartmentalize!!!
> 
> I cant be a freak all the time....most of the time I just want my tight wet wet p*ssy played with then 3 hour rounds of marathon sex with my hyper flexible legs that Y back over my shoulders when Im on my back........lol I love to use words...ha ha


Alright, I wasn't sure someone with this fetish might turn me on... but if you keep talking like that, we may have to make another thread. I kind of hear you on the Humiliation thing... Most people get off on the feel of power, whats a better way to feel superior other than the humiliation of complete dominance (pissing on someone).
Personally, even if a girl asked me too, I don't think I could do it. I'm into pretty much whatev's but I respect females too much to treat them like the toilet. But if your both into it, right on.


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## FloppyForeskin (Feb 29, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Nothing kills the moment for me more than, GAPING ass on porn. .


I'm not a big fan of it either! I've seen exploding, gaping ass turn inside out!

Who the hell pitches the storyboard to the director? What does he say to the camera guys? "Ok fellas now when you have maximum cornhole gape, ensure that you shine the spotlight in there and pan over with the camera".

I don't understand all the butt piracy in the biz nowadays. Once in a while it's nice to see a surprised look on the girl's face, but ass gape?


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## MsMILFweed (Feb 29, 2008)

One thing you can do, if someone has a booger, or some other odd item on their face, if while talking to them you touch the same place on your face, (ie, touch the edge of your nose where the booger would be if you had it) and in most cases the person talking to you will do the exact same gesture. Try it sometime, like wiping the side of your mouth, or fixing your hair behind your ear, they'll probably do the exact same thing. Strange, eh?


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## Weezy F Baby (Mar 5, 2008)

i sometimes eat my own boogers

i am weird :,-(


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## pinksensa (Mar 5, 2008)

Weezy F Baby said:


> i sometimes eat my own boogers
> 
> i am weird :,-(


ewww fuckin ewwww


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## Weezy F Baby (Mar 5, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> ewww fuckin ewwww


you have never tried your own?

i feel it is the best way to get rid of them without wiping them on something...thats gross


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## Weezy F Baby (Mar 5, 2008)

on topic tho 
i gotta say the nastiest thing ive ever done was while going down on my ex there would always be sum random toilet paper stuck in her snatch
toilet paper is not tasty unless it is being used to parachute farmies

she was terrible though and for some reason i was with her for 5 years (mind you i am 21 so thats a longgggggggg time)
she never fulfilled one of my fantasies (such easy ones as looking me in the eyes while having sex or a different sex position other than missionary or her on top...hell i got her to do doggy style once and she just fucking layed there, didn't even get in the right position) and i don't think she even masturbated once in her entire life. she was such a total NOOB when it came to sex and my greatest mistake so far in my life was wasting my high school and college prime time years on her, DAM YOU LOVE!!! DAM YOU TO HELL!! people told me it was stupid fallin in love so early
/end rant


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## smkkll (Mar 5, 2008)

well i couldnt find a date for saturday night,, so i figured i just go dig me one up. It went alright except everytime she tried to give me head her jaw kept falling off!! two words;
duct tape


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## smkkll (Mar 5, 2008)

I was fucking this old bitch.. she was around eighty or so.. and talk about loose! I was starting to think the money wasnt worth it when i figured it out.... stick a ham in her pussy and then pull the bone out just before ya fuck it!! lol.... you fuckers are sick.. the ones laughing... and the ones not.


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## BongReaper (Mar 5, 2008)

I once had a gurl rip major ass when i flipped her over from doggy to missionary we were both so shocked we just laid there and laughed for a minute....then we continued.


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## oscarmiya (Mar 5, 2008)

Just about the whole booger eating thing... I don't eat my boogers nor condone it HOWEVER I did hear some interesting info. This is for real too-

-------------------------------
Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.

Innsbruck-based lung specialist Prof Dr Friedrich Bischinger said people who pick their noses with their fingers were healthy, happier and probably better in tune with their bodies.

He says society should adopt a new approach to nose-picking and encourage children to take it up.

Dr Bischinger said: "With the finger you can get to places you just can't reach with a handkerchief, keeping your nose far cleaner.

"And eating the dry remains of what you pull out is a great way of strengthening the body's immune system.

"Medically it makes great sense and is a perfectly natural thing to do. In terms of the immune system the nose is a filter in which a great deal of bacteria are collected, and when this mixture arrives in the intestines it works just like a medicine.

"Modern medicine is constantly trying to do the same thing through far more complicated methods, people who pick their nose and eat it get a natural boost to their immune system for free."
------------------------------------

I mean.. eating your boogers is good for you... like breakfast.


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## Weezy F Baby (Mar 5, 2008)

yaaa go me!


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## pinksensa (Mar 5, 2008)

oscarmiya said:


> Just about the whole booger eating thing... I don't eat my boogers nor condone it HOWEVER I did hear some interesting info. This is for real too-
> 
> -------------------------------
> Picking your nose and eating it is one of the best ways to stay healthy, according to a top Austrian doctor.
> ...


sounds like some bullshit rationalizing and justifying by a certified bugger eater....I dont care if its healthy or not who ever made those discoveries or wrote that etc is just a booger eater trying to making it socially okay and it cant be cuz its fuckin gross....do you eat scabs to?? ewww scab eaters are worse than booger eaters...im gonna be sick


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## BongReaper (Mar 5, 2008)

how can boogers be healthy to eat when there is dust and toxins in the air that ur nose tries to keep out by forming boogers????? my brain hurts thinking about this, new topic


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## Weezy F Baby (Mar 5, 2008)

nah no scabs

that would be kinda weird right?


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## oscarmiya (Mar 5, 2008)

Haha I am not trying to justify anything pinksensa, just reportin the 'news'. I completely agree with you.


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## smkkll (Mar 5, 2008)

i dont eat boogers or scabs.. although i do enjoy sticking my tongue so far up her ass i can taste what she had for dinner...


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 5, 2008)

oscarmiya said:


> Haha I am not trying to justify anything pinksensa, just reportin the 'news'. I completely agree with you.


Ya when my daughter stayed at my stepmoms while I was on vacation she told my daughter it was ok and to go ahead... I was ticked... but it is true I guess it builds up your immune system.

Not saying its ok... but everything we touch is nasty. Whatever went in our nostrils probably went in mouth too. I loved eating boogers when I was little.. hhaha and I bet all of you guys did too! 

I got caught in preschool so I gave it up. I was mucho embarrassed.


----------



## BIGMIKE13 (Mar 5, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Ya when my daughter stayed at my stepmoms while I was on vacation she told my daughter it was ok and to go ahead... I was ticked... but it is true I guess it builds up your immune system.
> 
> Not saying its ok... but everything we touch is nasty. Whatever went in our nostrils probably went in mouth too. I loved eating boogers when I was little.. hhaha and I bet all of you guys did too!
> 
> I got caught in preschool so I gave it up. I was mucho embarrassed.


now what to think.....


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## Budda_Luva (Mar 6, 2008)

ok the other day i was fuckin bangin my gurl i mean fuckin bangin her and she farted i started laughing cuz it sounded like her ass was throwin up


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## Cannabolic (Mar 14, 2008)

damn yall some nasty ppl lmao. i don't have any stories really but 2 summers ago i had a free crib (no parents) and me and my boy had some ladies over. we started drinkin and wtvr i think i had 2 tall margerettas 6 beers and a whole bottle of wine. and i was drunk off my ass. so my boy goes and fucks this chick. the next mornin i see blood all over. there was blood on the floor, the couch, on towels, walls, and im like wtf happend!? and my boy was like oh i fucked so and so and she was on her period. and im like yo you are cleanin this shit up . so after he cleans it up the girls wake up and im like you wanna hit up mickey D's? and their like yea. so me and my boy go to mickey D's and we order our food. when its time to pay i reach in my pocket and realized i forgot my wallet. so he says don't worry i got it so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the bloody condom in front of everybody and there starin at us and some lady goes omg!. and he says "oops wrong pocket"so im like damn this kid just fucked up my apitite. then when we get back to the crib he has the nerve to ask me if i want ketchup. lol thats my story and im just starting to eat red things.


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## farnorcalgirl530 (Mar 17, 2008)

Roflmao! Wow. Thats Bad!


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## boooky (Mar 17, 2008)

If somthing nasty doesnt happen your not doing it right


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## farnorcalgirl530 (Mar 17, 2008)

ok so here is a story.... didn't happen to me, but I heard it through the walls! LOL...

SO my roommate and her man were in her room, (which shared a wall with mine) getting to it. the headboard was banging, she was very vocal during sex, so as I lay there with my iPod on attempting to go to sleep, I hear her scream Fuck me in my ass.... well ok, about a minute later everything went quiet and i hear him yell OH MY GOD YOU SHIT ON ME and her saying I AM SO SORRY. Well needless to say they went straight to the shower, so I get up and go to the kitchen, get something to drink and she comes in.... and looks mortified... I asked her if she was ok and she told me that she not only shit on him, she had diarrheia from the mexican food she ate for lunch and had to throw her bedding away.......the guy didn't call her after that.


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## Zekedogg (Mar 17, 2008)

One time I stuck my finger in my butthole because I wanted to know what it felt like

The End


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 17, 2008)

Zekedogg said:


> One time I stuck my finger in my butthole because I wanted to know what it felt like
> 
> The End


You are so gross. Lol. Did you smell it too just to see what it smelt like?



I stick my finger in my ass everyday, and hopefully everyone does, in the shower... with soap and water to keep it squeaky clean.


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## JohnnyBravo (Mar 17, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> You are so gross. Lol. Did you smell it too just to see what it smelt like?
> 
> 
> 
> I stick my finger in my ass everyday, and hopefully everyone does, in the shower... with soap and water to keep it squeaky clean.


I think I'm in love


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## pinksensa (Mar 17, 2008)

i been forgetting to tell you guys this but it is my nastiest and for any girl like this im not hating on you its just when its unexpected....so i was seeing this girl that was bordered on being domestically violent towards me...so one nite we were in 69 w/ me on top and it was the 1st time i had went down on her so im lickin along and when i kiss a person on the lips some time as i pull away I will suck on their lip and i do this to a girls pussy lips to so im lickin then im suckin away from the lip and i keep raisin my head up to end the suck with the lip but it kept coming out of my mouth then i start gaggin but i have to act cool cuz this crazy bitch woulda killed me if i threw up on her but the best i can say is that she had like extra long labia like a mini curtain and like is said it was all this skin coming out of my mouth and then i saw porn videos of chicks like that at the porn sto...


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## pinksensa (Mar 17, 2008)

needless to say i hadnt known prior just how diverse vagizzels could be


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## BIGMIKE13 (Mar 17, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> needless to say i hadnt known prior just how diverse vagizzels could be


are you sure she did not have a man clit you were sucking on. i saw one in a video that looked like a peepee...


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## JohnnyBravo (Mar 17, 2008)

I changed my mind.....now I'm in love with pink.....sorry jamie


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## Zekedogg (Mar 17, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> i been forgetting to tell you guys this but it is my nastiest and for any girl like this im not hating on you its just when its unexpected....so i was seeing this girl that was bordered on being domestically violent towards me...so one nite we were in 69 w/ me on top and it was the 1st time i had went down on her so im lickin along and when i kiss a person on the lips some time as i pull away I will suck on their lip and i do this to a girls pussy lips to so im lickin then im suckin away from the lip and i keep raisin my head up to end the suck with the lip but it kept coming out of my mouth then i start gaggin but i have to act cool cuz this crazy bitch woulda killed me if i threw up on her but the best i can say is that she had like extra long labia like a mini curtain and like is said it was all this skin coming out of my mouth and then i saw porn videos of chicks like that at the porn sto...



fuck all that lickety lick bullshit....Im like a fucking canine on that shit


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## boooky (Mar 17, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> i been forgetting to tell you guys this but it is my nastiest and for any girl like this im not hating on you its just when its unexpected....so i was seeing this girl that was bordered on being domestically violent towards me...so one nite we were in 69 w/ me on top and it was the 1st time i had went down on her so im lickin along and when i kiss a person on the lips some time as i pull away I will suck on their lip and i do this to a girls pussy lips to so im lickin then im suckin away from the lip and i keep raisin my head up to end the suck with the lip but it kept coming out of my mouth then i start gaggin but i have to act cool cuz this crazy bitch woulda killed me if i threw up on her but the best i can say is that she had like extra long labia like a mini curtain and like is said it was all this skin coming out of my mouth and then i saw porn videos of chicks like that at the porn sto...


Yeah thats pretty gross for some reason I pictured a gooy noodle coming out of a twat....I wounder what thats like...


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## pinksensa (Mar 17, 2008)

boooky said:


> Yeah thats pretty gross for some reason I pictured a gooy noodle coming out of a twat....I wounder what thats like...


it was horrible and ive looked at some pretty fucked up thing here in the last lil bit trying to find a pic but i cant but i do know that its a fetish novelty cuz like i said there are tons of porn videos at the store on it...and its long lips not mini-clit cocks


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## boooky (Mar 17, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> it was horrible and ive looked at some pretty fucked up thing here in the last lil bit trying to find a pic but i cant but i do know that its a fetish novelty cuz like i said there are tons of porn videos at the store on it...and its long lips not mini-clit cocks


Yeah they got a pussy pump at the smoke shop lol I had it on my nose thinking it was a new vaporizer


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## pinksensa (Mar 17, 2008)

boooky said:


> Yeah they got a pussy pump at the smoke shop lol I had it on my nose thinking it was a new vaporizer


 
ha ha ha ha omigod haha ya no to the pussy pump though im a freaky as hell but im not cool with that this one guy was like but the swelling goes down im like nahhhhh!


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

Never did I ever imagine this being here.. then again...

Sorry fellow heads.. nothing disgusting during sex here.. well, nothing that matches anything stated before.. but if I think really hard I can try to remember one of my fucks going bad...

Nope.. nope, that was a good one...

Nah, she liked chics too... nothing out of the ordinary...

Putting it in her ass once.. that was enough....

Sex in the mountains.. fun.. but nothing disgusting...

No broke dick accidents.. but a few near misses....

I don't have any raunchy.. nasty.. make ya wanna puke stories.. just the good sex ones.. or road head almost accidents.. having friends listen in from the downstairs vent, and tell you years later.. getting caught in the car on campus.. finding everyway possible to scrump in a CRX.. then realize the parking lot was full when we got there and empty when we left.. keeping roomates up until 2 am with a VERY loud Aquarius (hands down the best fuck I've ever had)...

AHA!

Found one!

Ok, so I've been with this chic off and on for a few months now. She recently found out she wasn't the only one.. well, she never talked about it.. we just did it. Then she gets all sentimental.. 

Saying, "I don't want to just be a booty call..." 

'Well baby, you're not.. what we do is what we do. We hang out.. smoke.. jam.. go out dancing.. and come home drunk and fuck each other's brains out.. what's wrong in that...?'

"Well.. now.. I kinda have feelings for you..."

(puppy dog eyes)

'I know what you mean.. but I don't know if I'm ready to settle down right now.. I'm kinda having a lot of fun with the way my life is.'

"I just don't want to feel like a slut.. just another booty call in your phone..."

After much debate we end up getting down to business.. she is hell bent on making me a loyal man.. so she pushes me up against the wall and fires me up proper.

As she gets my cothes off and works her way down I'm at the point where I could explode if she looks at it.

So she is giving it her all.. sucking so hard the slurp could be heard downstairs.. drool all over my balls.. she isn't giving me a moments rest.. I don't know how I held on so long.. I guess it just felt really REALLY good.. so I just kept it in my head to enjoy it for as long as I can.

Right when I start to come.. well just before it.. I swell up BIG time and land that initial shot in her throat.. she chokes.. coughs.. then pulls off to keep from drowning in my unborn babies.. then the FATHER LOAD comes blasting out into her left eye.

It kinda makes me wish I was wearing this shirt at the time:


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## Zekedogg (Mar 18, 2008)

Enigma said:


> Never did I ever imagine this being here.. then again...
> 
> Sorry fellow heads.. nothing disgusting during sex here.. well, nothing that matches anything stated before.. but if I think really hard I can try to remember one of my fucks going bad...
> 
> ...



Thats a tight shirt


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 18, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> i been forgetting to tell you guys this but it is my nastiest and for any girl like this im not hating on you its just when its unexpected....so i was seeing this girl that was bordered on being domestically violent towards me...so one nite we were in 69 w/ me on top and it was the 1st time i had went down on her so im lickin along and when i kiss a person on the lips some time as i pull away I will suck on their lip and i do this to a girls pussy lips to so im lickin then im suckin away from the lip and i keep raisin my head up to end the suck with the lip but it kept coming out of my mouth then i start gaggin but i have to act cool cuz this crazy bitch woulda killed me if i threw up on her but the best i can say is that she had like extra long labia like a mini curtain and like is said it was all this skin coming out of my mouth and then i saw porn videos of chicks like that at the porn sto...


Bwuauhahahaahahahahaahaha.... I repeat... I will never eat snatch.


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 18, 2008)

JohnnyBravo said:


> I changed my mind.....now I'm in love with pink.....sorry jamie


Its ok. I love Pink. Thanks for thinking about it for 5 minutes though...lol.


Zekedogg said:


> fuck all that lickety lick bullshit....Im like a fucking canine on that shit


.


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## JohnnyBravo (Mar 18, 2008)

This isn't nasty but, it scarred me just the same.....while living in new mexico, my girl and I drove to El Paso to go party one night...The highway to get there is one lane each direction and is a know drug trafficking route. Because of this there is a border patrol hut right about in the middle of the highway between El Paso and New Mexico. This hut is closed 90% of the time....So, we're drivin home about 2 am and my girl starts suckin my cock.....My pants are in the way so I decide to remove them completely and what do you know....The border patrol hut is all manned up complete with dogs and about 3 cops....I try to play it cool, pulling up to the hut with no pants on....However I must have appeared nervous and the cop asks me to step out of the vehicle....buy this time cars are getting backed up behind me also on their way back from El Paso....I Try to tell this guy I got no pants on and he gets pissed and sternly says Step out of the car (The check point is lit up with giant spot lights so it's as bright as day).....So there I am, naked from the waist down, covering my dick with my hands....I start to hear people in cars behind me hysterically laughing and some yelling shit out there windows.....The cops are laughing....Totally humiliated I get pissed and think to myself I hope your all enjoying the show....Then I got more pissed and thought you want a show I'll give you a show....I strip my shirt off...now I'm in the buff with just my socks on and I got my arms up in the air taunting the people in the cars....horns are blaring...people are in a frenzy...cops are cracking up....cop tells me to get back in my car and then says "I bet you wait till you get home next time"....Fucken Dick used me for entertainment cause he was bored at 2 am....I will never stand holding my dick in my hands again....I will proudly walk out with my cock out....LOL


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## pinksensa (Mar 18, 2008)

johnny you should have been walkin proud!!!! I know exactly the where you are talking about on the highway too....im always holding out on firing up a jizzle leaving el paso till i get thru that hut then its blazes away....


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 18, 2008)

JohnnyBravo said:


> This isn't nasty but, it scarred me just the same.....while living in new mexico, my girl and I drove to El Paso to go party one night...The highway to get there is one lane each direction and is a know drug trafficking route. Because of this there is a border patrol hut right about in the middle of the highway between El Paso and New Mexico. This hut is closed 90% of the time....So, we're drivin home about 2 am and my girl starts suckin my cock.....My pants are in the way so I decide to remove them completely and what do you know....The border patrol hut is all manned up complete with dogs and about 3 cops....I try to play it cool, pulling up to the hut with no pants on....However I must have appeared nervous and the cop asks me to step out of the vehicle....buy this time cars are getting backed up behind me also on their way back from El Paso....I Try to tell this guy I got no pants on and he gets pissed and sternly says Step out of the car (The check point is lit up with giant spot lights so it's as bright as day).....So there I am, naked from the waist down, covering my dick with my hands....I start to hear people in cars behind me hysterically laughing and some yelling shit out there windows.....The cops are laughing....Totally humiliated I get pissed and think to myself I hope your all enjoying the show....Then I got more pissed and thought you want a show I'll give you a show....I strip my shirt off...now I'm in the buff with just my socks on and I got my arms up in the air taunting the people in the cars....horns are blaring...people are in a frenzy...cops are cracking up....cop tells me to get back in my car and then says "I bet you wait till you get home next time"....Fucken Dick used me for entertainment cause he was bored at 2 am....I will never stand holding my dick in my hands again....I will proudly walk out with my cock out....LOL


Reminds me of a time a friend and I went skinny dipping in a lake. She and I swam to this little island... probably took us about 15 minutes to swim there. On our swim back, Lake Patrol pulls up to our spot...and with a giant speaker announces that we need to get back on shore asap. So when we get about 10 feet a way from getting out, we ask our buddy who was in our spot for our bikinis. The cop told us no, that we had to got out the way we got in. Pervert. I was only 19, I put up an argument...til he started talking about getting a ticket for indecent exposure and taking me to jail for not respectin his authority...lol. So in front of everyone at the crowded lake...we step out. We ended up only getting kicked out of the park. Still embarrassing though.


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## happy.fuzz (Mar 18, 2008)

OK I was like 15 and I was gettin a blowjob from my gf of like 2 weeks. At this point there wasnt a girl that could suck me off til I came. As I was like oh shit I'm gonna cum! She is still hangin in there like a troooper gonna take it all and I was like - Fuckin sweet!! I keep tellin her im about to cum - totally warnin her. I bust a hella nut down her throat and she immediately comes up and trys fuckin stickin her tongue down my throat! Don't get me wrong it's my stuff and I shouldnt be so damn pissed but come on! If she is willin to take it - fuckin take it. Don't half ass it and try to do some bullshit like that. I think she was into power and shit. Needless to say - I was pissed and lost her number. That may seam harsh of me but GOD DAMN! I aint into that and she shouldnt just spring that kinda shit on someone. I like the way pussy juice tastes not fuckin jizz. EWWWWWWW - it is still hard to think about and that was like 13 years ago.


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## pinksensa (Mar 18, 2008)

happy.fuzz said:


> OK I was like 15 and I was gettin a blowjob from my gf of like 2 weeks. At this point there wasnt a girl that could suck me off til I came. As I was like oh shit I'm gonna cum! She is still hangin in there like a troooper gonna take it all and I was like - Fuckin sweet!! I keep tellin her im about to cum - totally warnin her. I bust a hella nut down her throat and she immediately comes up and trys fuckin stickin her tongue down my throat! Don't get me wrong it's my stuff and I shouldnt be so damn pissed but come on! If she is willin to take it - fuckin take it. Don't half ass it and try to do some bullshit like that. I think she was into power and shit. Needless to say - I was pissed and lost her number. That may seam harsh of me but GOD DAMN! I aint into that and she shouldnt just spring that kinda shit on someone. I like the way pussy juice tastes not fuckin jizz. EWWWWWWW - it is still hard to think about and that was like 13 years ago.


 
lmao she was into power and she was hoping that you would take that lil bit of cum then later she would have you eating your own cum....lol lol I know cuz I make submissive boys that serve me eat their own cum and they love it the humiliation of it and being told to ha hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

JohnnyBravo said:


> This isn't nasty but, it scarred me just the same.....while living in new mexico, my girl and I drove to El Paso to go party one night...The highway to get there is one lane each direction and is a know drug trafficking route. Because of this there is a border patrol hut right about in the middle of the highway between El Paso and New Mexico. This hut is closed 90% of the time....So, we're drivin home about 2 am and my girl starts suckin my cock.....My pants are in the way so I decide to remove them completely and what do you know....The border patrol hut is all manned up complete with dogs and about 3 cops....I try to play it cool, pulling up to the hut with no pants on....However I must have appeared nervous and the cop asks me to step out of the vehicle....buy this time cars are getting backed up behind me also on their way back from El Paso....I Try to tell this guy I got no pants on and he gets pissed and sternly says Step out of the car (The check point is lit up with giant spot lights so it's as bright as day).....So there I am, naked from the waist down, covering my dick with my hands....I start to hear people in cars behind me hysterically laughing and some yelling shit out there windows.....The cops are laughing....Totally humiliated I get pissed and think to myself I hope your all enjoying the show....Then I got more pissed and thought you want a show I'll give you a show....I strip my shirt off...now I'm in the buff with just my socks on and I got my arms up in the air taunting the people in the cars....horns are blaring...people are in a frenzy...cops are cracking up....cop tells me to get back in my car and then says "I bet you wait till you get home next time"....Fucken Dick used me for entertainment cause he was bored at 2 am....I will never stand holding my dick in my hands again....I will proudly walk out with my cock out....LOL


 
Right on! Rock out with your cock out!




pinksensa said:


> lmao she was into power and she was hoping that you would take that lil bit of cum then later she would have you eating your own cum....lol lol I know cuz I make submissive boys that serve me eat their own cum and they love it the humiliation of it and being told to ha hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


 
That shit is just wrong.

To this day I still can't figure out why women enjoy this shit.. is it a whole power trip thing? Abused at a young age? Bad experiences with dominant men? Or do you wish you were a man?

IDK, I just don't get it.


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## Zekedogg (Mar 18, 2008)

happy.fuzz said:


> OK I was like 15 and I was gettin a blowjob from my gf of like 2 weeks. At this point there wasnt a girl that could suck me off til I came. As I was like oh shit I'm gonna cum! She is still hangin in there like a troooper gonna take it all and I was like - Fuckin sweet!! I keep tellin her im about to cum - totally warnin her. I bust a hella nut down her throat and she immediately comes up and trys fuckin stickin her tongue down my throat! Don't get me wrong it's my stuff and I shouldnt be so damn pissed but come on! If she is willin to take it - fuckin take it. Don't half ass it and try to do some bullshit like that. I think she was into power and shit. Needless to say - I was pissed and lost her number. That may seam harsh of me but GOD DAMN! I aint into that and she shouldnt just spring that kinda shit on someone. I like the way pussy juice tastes not fuckin jizz. EWWWWWWW - it is still hard to think about and that was like 13 years ago.


You were getting a blowjob by a 2 week old baby?


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## korvette1977 (Mar 18, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> lmao she was into power and she was hoping that you would take that lil bit of cum then later she would have you eating your own cum....lol lol I know cuz I make submissive boys that serve me eat their own cum and they love it the humiliation of it and being told to ha hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa



You a Dominatrix .. My buddy has a basement dungen and website bdsm & fetish site- The S&M NEWS I put an addition on his house and ended up fucking his whole staff except for 2 .... and they still have men come over there to be abused , and they love it .. they pay $500 an hr to get their balls tourtured and beaten up by a woman


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

korvette1977 said:


> You a Dominatrix .. My buddy has a basement dungen and website www.smnews.com..I put an addition on his house and ended up fucking his whole staff except for 2 .... and they still have men come over there to be abused , and they love it .. they pay $500 an hr to get their balls tourtured and beaten up by a woman


What the fuck is this world coming to?!

Well, I guess if you're making cash monies off of it.


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## happy.fuzz (Mar 18, 2008)

Well whats wierd is she was one of those real passive people in public. Evil I dunno it's just evil. I mean that's cool for those lookin for that kinda thing or whatever but to just do that is wrong and askin to start some shit. Dis respectful like you ladies are sayin bout gettin pissed on. It was seriously one of the most pissed off moments of my life. I about threw her across the room. What ever happened to some good old RESPECTFUL and FUN sex, not all this psychological BULLSHIT. This hole foor shit this hole for dick. Your tongue and mouth feels cool and so does mine. wanna use em ...ok. Not - hey I get off on fuckin treatin you like dirt cuz somebody fucked up my head when I was a kid. FUCK! OKay I've had a few to many cups of coffe and my job is slow today so - I am ranting. hehe. I love this forum.


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## pinksensa (Mar 18, 2008)

Okay first of all nothing happened to me when I was a kid....being a domme isnt something I do with all my lovers, just the ones who are into to it.....its not something i have to do it something that turns me on....I cant do it everyday or all the time....its just like a game...role playing for me anyway......it is kind of a power trip but its also just about needs....like when im with a normal guy havin normal play time....there should be a balance i suck he lick etc but when im with a submissive i can get just get licked for the whole 3 hours....i meet the needs of a submissive in other ways...mind you all of the subs i play with are masculine men who are ceo's, managers, guys in charge who just like to flip the role every now and then and be the one who gets bossed around and humiliated....im am the sweetest domme not some crazy evil sadist....he needs/wants to be spanked and fucked anally I can do that for oh say 20 min each thats 40 mins minus 3 hours thats 2 hours and 20 mins of having my pussy and ass licked and I just have to be my normal bossy self????? how can that not make sense to you guys??


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## pinksensa (Mar 18, 2008)

and there is just something about when a person will let me do anything I want....i remember the first time a boy let me put a dildo in his ass I came from that alone....just like eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......and the first time I fisted a girl oooommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm amazing.... but on the flip Im not submissive at all and im a two finger limit girl.(in me) but i can run with someone elses desires and fantasy....i love making naughty fantasies come true...


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## Zekedogg (Mar 18, 2008)

I once used a beer bottle and frozen cucumber as a fuckstick


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## korvette1977 (Mar 18, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> Okay first of all nothing happened to me when I was a kid....being a domme isnt something I do with all my lovers, just the ones who are into to it.....its not something i have to do it something that turns me on....I cant do it everyday or all the time....its just like a game...role playing for me anyway......it is kind of a power trip but its also just about needs....like when im with a normal guy havin normal play time....there should be a balance i suck he lick etc but when im with a submissive i can get just get licked for the whole 3 hours....i meet the needs of a submissive in other ways...mind you all of the subs i play with are masculine men who are ceo's, managers, guys in charge who just like to flip the role every now and then and be the one who gets bossed around and humiliated....im am the sweetest domme not some crazy evil sadist....he needs/wants to be spanked and fucked anally I can do that for oh say 20 min each thats 40 mins minus 3 hours thats 2 hours and 20 mins of having my pussy and ass licked and I just have to be my normal bossy self????? how can that not make sense to you guys??






Look's like you have/get the best of both worlds, Whatever happens behind closed doors is no ones business anyway . to each his/her own ^5


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> Okay first of all nothing happened to me when I was a kid....being a domme isnt something I do with all my lovers, just the ones who are into to it.....its not something i have to do it something that turns me on....I cant do it everyday or all the time....its just like a game...role playing for me anyway......it is kind of a power trip but its also just about needs....like when im with a normal guy havin normal play time....there should be a balance i suck he lick etc but when im with a submissive i can get just get licked for the whole 3 hours....i meet the needs of a submissive in other ways...mind you all of the subs i play with are masculine men who are ceo's, managers, guys in charge who just like to flip the role every now and then and be the one who gets bossed around and humiliated....im am the sweetest domme not some crazy evil sadist....he needs/wants to be spanked and fucked anally I can do that for oh say 20 min each thats 40 mins minus 3 hours thats 2 hours and 20 mins of having my pussy and ass licked and I just have to be my normal bossy self????? how can that not make sense to you guys??


 
Well for one, I don't get the whole anal thing.. not for me, either way. I've put it in a girl's ass once.. that was enough for me.. the pussy is WAY better.

Second, I'm not about dominance and control.. everything is mutually satisfying.. we are fucking each other.. not a fucker and fuckee. The whole objectification of a male or female has never sat well with me.

And more than that.. sex is an art form to me.. not something I do to feel dominated or humiliated.. it is about getting off big time.

Maybe they want to get off too.. and they have some pretty twisted ways of going about that.. IDK. I would never know until I am in their position.. which won't happen.

Which is the whole reason why I don't understand why someone would want to feel humiliated.. dominated.. and bossed around.. that's just not my style.


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## pinksensa (Mar 18, 2008)

well i guess im just the devil.....if you want I could gather up some wood and you could mount me up on the wood and set me on fire...


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## happy.fuzz (Mar 18, 2008)

I wasn't pointing fingers or assuming anything about anyone on here. Sorry if I came off like that. Just speakin my mind about that one specific situation with that chic. I am very sorry if I offended anyone. Like I said if it's what you and your partner are into than cool. But to just force some bullshit on anybody (male or female) is NOT cool. That's all I was sayin.


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## happy.fuzz (Mar 18, 2008)

What? What? I thought we were in the trust tree in the nest, were we not? -_ Frank the Tank_

Hehe... I love that movie.


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> well i guess im just the devil.....if you want I could gather up some wood and you could mount me up on the wood and set me on fire...


Its cool.

The devil has asked me to come and dance many times.. I'd rather dance on my own. Something about being lead blind doesn't suit me well.

Do your thang chica. 

No one is judging you here.. 

I'm just trying to make sense of an insensible world.. like the rest of us.


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## boooky (Mar 18, 2008)

pinksensa said:


> well i guess im just the devil.....if you want I could gather up some wood and you could mount me up on the wood and set me on fire...


Oh ill set you on fire


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## pandabear (Mar 18, 2008)

im feeling slightly nauseous for "some" reason. just read the last 2 pages i missed



nice work everyone keep you fingers in your asses and the man clits wrigglin, and pls leave you bloody tissue laden condoms at home



I had this great G/F once that would refuse to let me eat her out cuz she was too self conscious about her pussy. Nothing wrong with it just she had shyness or somthin. so it was blowjobs all day everyday, thank god for young ladies who like to suck, 

but the catch was she liked it in her butt while she massaged her clit, but good gurl as she was she would suck it off right at the end when I pulled it outa her ass

thats right the glorious ass to mouth, any of you gurls do that? 


somthin about that just makes me happy just feels like true love


anyway she dumped me years ago and i was very sad. that gurl shouldnt even eat with that mouth


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

pandabear said:


> im feeling slightly nauseous for "some" reason. just read the last 2 pages i missed
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 
IMHO you're better off.


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## boooky (Mar 18, 2008)

pandabear said:


> im feeling slightly nauseous for "some" reason. just read the last 2 pages i missed
> 
> 
> 
> ...


I never went ass to mouth fearing she would try to kiss me and I would point towards the door......Would be very cool moment though I would prolly laugh for a second. Then afterwards call everyone I know telling them I went ass to mouth. You should be proud of your self


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 18, 2008)

Enigma said:


> Well for one, I don't get the whole anal thing.. not for me, either way. I've put it in a girl's ass once.. that was enough for me.. the pussy is WAY better.


Finally the first person that has agreed with me on this! Pussy is better!


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## Enigma (Mar 18, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Finally the first person that has agreed with me on this! Pussy is better!


Well, YA! It is...

The puss was made for what?

The ass was made for what?

Which do I want to stick my tongue in?



Enigma


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## boooky (Mar 18, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Finally the first person that has agreed with me on this! Pussy is better!


.......I would hope almost every strait guy you talked to prefered the pussy..I mean im no person to say "No you crazy get out bitch" if they ask for anal..They ask they shall reseive I suggest you lay pipe hard on that brown star in praise she regrets asking and never asks agian.


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 18, 2008)

boooky said:


> .......I would hope almost every strait guy you talked to prefered the pussy..I mean im no person to say "No you crazy get out bitch" if they ask for anal..They ask they shall reseive I suggest you lay pipe hard on that brown star in praise she regrets asking and never asks agian.


No every guy does enjoy it, but every guy asks for butt sex is well. My ass is a virgin and its staying that way.


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## michaelo (Mar 18, 2008)

pussy rules


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## michaelo (Mar 18, 2008)

got to have it and not every guy wants the brown star im cool without all that


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## jamiemichelle (Mar 18, 2008)

michaelo said:


> got to have it and not every guy wants the brown star im cool without all that


Brown star? . What kinda girls you messin with? Haha. Pink star would we a better term. Hahaha.


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## Type 1 Diabetic (Mar 18, 2008)

short and simple. The girl had her period. I dont want to talk about it. 

PS tell the guy before you do something with him


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## boooky (Mar 18, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Brown star? . What kinda girls you messin with? Haha. Pink star would we a better term. Hahaha.


Corn hole sounds cool to...Or maybe brown bubbler? Poop shoot? Should make a thread on how many names you can call a butt hole...


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## boooky (Mar 18, 2008)

Type 1 Diabetic said:


> short and simple. The girl had her period. I dont want to talk about it.
> 
> PS tell the guy before you do something with him


Just get some papper towels LMAO Damn im nasty I love it......


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## happy.fuzz (Mar 19, 2008)

ass is for poop exit. vag is for my penis entrance.... I'm fucked up. Time for bed ....late.


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## clueless (Mar 20, 2008)

Rocky Mountain High said:


> You fucked the Shit outta her!! Hee hee


I can't read any more!

These are friggin hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Stormfront (Mar 20, 2008)

fucked a girl for about 2 hours straight blazed outta my mind...all holes kinda shit.....when i stopped i realized that on top of pissing on me and not telling me, she had gotten shit all over me...thank god for condoms....i made her take it off though lmao


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## Stormfront (Mar 20, 2008)

boooky said:


> Corn hole sounds cool to...Or maybe brown bubbler? Poop shoot? Should make a thread on how many names you can call a butt hole...


i like hershey highway...lol


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## Twistyman (Mar 21, 2008)

Better be good or the next pussy you see will be at the S.P.C.A


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## FrostyTHEgrowmaN (Mar 21, 2008)

I once banged our baby sitter and she was like 2 months pregnant so i just blew my wad all up in there. I worked with her boyfriend at the time and he would talk shit about her constantly so anyway the night after i banged her he and i were sitting on break and he starts sayin "you know shes a nasty bitch" "she and i were fucking around last night and she was blowin me so i went down on her and started eating her out" "i put my fingers in her and i pulled out this like snotty shit like a long line of goo it was nasty" ANYWAY it was all i could do not to say "oh yeah hows my cum taste?"


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## Stormfront (Mar 23, 2008)

FrostyTHEgrowmaN said:


> I once banged our baby sitter and she was like 2 months pregnant so i just blew my wad all up in there. I worked with her boyfriend at the time and he would talk shit about her constantly so anyway the night after i banged her he and i were sitting on break and he starts sayin "you know shes a nasty bitch" "she and i were fucking around last night and she was blowin me so i went down on her and started eating her out" "i put my fingers in her and i pulled out this like snotty shit like a long line of goo it was nasty" ANYWAY it was all i could do not to say "oh yeah hows my cum taste?"


lmao...thats all i have thats fucked up but funny as shit


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## Budda_Luva (Mar 26, 2008)

Type 1 Diabetic said:


> short and simple. The girl had her period. I dont want to talk about it.
> 
> PS tell the guy before you do something with him


OK i tried this befor but with a condom really isnt that bad feels the same but u gotta deal with the blood goin every where epecially in ur pubs or juss bend the bitch over..... id do it again


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## thegigglepimp (Apr 1, 2008)

i was quite drunk one night and brought a girl back, anyway went down on her and still had chewing gum in my mouth... About two mins later it looked like spider man had had a fit in front of her, seriously it was strung everywhere. Wtf was i sposed to do, i didnt tell her, she went to the bathroom some time after and didnt talk to me again...


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## UshUsh (Apr 4, 2008)

pandabear said:


> lol man thats a good one too, lol that will make a stiffy go limp
> 
> but damn man 5 years of huffing farts? thats tough
> 
> ...


5 Years of huffing farts?! Holy shit that is fucking priceless!


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## shorty45 (Apr 5, 2008)

alright one time i was at a bar totally wasted wheni was in my 20's but back then i wasn't really a ladies man and there was this hot chick that wanted to hook up so we went back to my place and she pulled out these sex beads and she wanted me to stick them in my ass so i was like ok she is super hot its worth it so we were in the middle of it and she pulled them out and i shit every where so i was like woops and went to the bathroom to clean up and when i came back out this chick had like a shit fetish and was playing in my shit it was pretty nasty


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## I'msostonedagain (Apr 7, 2008)

holy shit, mine nowhere compares to the one above

When my wife and I had sex for the first time, I went down on her. I ate the pussy for a few minutes, then felt wetness on my lip, and wiped to find it was blood. It was all over her and me. I had my first nosebleed in years right when I decided to eat her pussy for the very first time. IT WAS PRETTY FREAKIN AKWARD.


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## petejonson (May 7, 2008)

my friend told me he seen one of his buddys fiends suck off his pit for a 50 dollar rock


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## Pookiedough (May 7, 2008)

Ugh... just.... ugh.....


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## korvette1977 (May 7, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> No every guy does enjoy it, but every guy asks for butt sex is well. My ass is a virgin and its staying that way.




My ass is exit only ....... Except for that yearly Prostate exam


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## boooky (May 7, 2008)

I once fell down the stairs when I came back to it my dick was in my ass.....


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## Budda_Luva (May 7, 2008)

shorty45 said:


> alright one time i was at a bar totally wasted wheni was in my 20's but back then i wasn't really a ladies man and there was this hot chick that wanted to hook up so we went back to my place and she pulled out these sex beads and she wanted me to stick them in my ass so i was like ok she is super hot its worth it so we were in the middle of it and she pulled them out and i shit every where so i was like woops and went to the bathroom to clean up and when i came back out this chick had like a shit fetish and was playing in my shit it was pretty nasty


HAHAH i think that is sexy when a female is into anything wierd nasty they juss dont give a fuk and its like entertainment when ur fukkin juss fuk and watch them trip hahahahahah



korvette1977 said:


> My ass is exit only ....... Except for that yearly Prostate exam


i hope u get locked up and become a prostitute and all ur money will come from shorty45 since hes into that SHITTT hahahahah


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## armand (May 7, 2008)

lets see, cunnilingus with women on on their period, yeast infection and pussy farts. the yeast infect was kinda nasty, the period was tasty and the farts was funny. imho


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## whulkamania (May 7, 2008)

armand said:


> lets see, cunnilingus with women on on their period, yeast infection and pussy farts. the yeast infect was kinda nasty, the period was tasty and the farts was funny. imho



Try and say the word "Pussy fart" with a straight face .


----------



## tommo9090 (May 9, 2008)

jamiemichelle said:


> Ya when my daughter stayed at my stepmoms while I was on vacation she told my daughter it was ok and to go ahead... I was ticked... but it is true I guess it builds up your immune system.
> 
> Not saying its ok... but everything we touch is nasty. Whatever went in our nostrils probably went in mouth too. I loved eating boogers when I was little.. hhaha and I bet all of you guys did too!
> 
> I got caught in preschool so I gave it up. I was mucho embarrassed.


so you gave it up?
were you a hell booger feen?
hah


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## Kage (May 10, 2008)

wow...... I've had a few fukkin... well, some accidents, but these... these beat all
I guess one of the weirdest was when she farted on my dick right b4 i stuck her ass, but i understood. cause she gotta get the air out. Nehow, a few times i fucked her too long in the ass and she shit all over my dick. Not a biggie, i mean, I was the one fukkin her, so it was really my fault. hmm....... 

But for nasty stories, i once was fucking a girl on her living room floor and i stuck my hand in summin wet n sticky. I forgot about it, figured it was cum or summin, smelled like it. Nehow, I wake up in the mornin and see this NASTY fresh tampon next to my fuckkkkkin FACE. Guess either her sister or one of her nasty lil friends had pulled it out and left it there. (we were all sleepin in the same room, some moved to the couches, some hit the floor) nehow, i was like "you people are all disgusting" and picked that shit up and threw it away.


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## aDarkepiphany.. (May 10, 2008)

octafunk said:


> I fucked a fat girl and stunk the whole house up. Sex to me has a pleasant smell but not this one. Not with a girl whose pussy ate my fist.


dude that made me laugh so hard...! gzzz thats just. actually idk how to describe that shit. wow


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## kushmonster (May 10, 2008)

I went out one night with some friends and got fucked up!!! Met this girl started fuckin around at the bar, long story short went back to my house and she starts blowin me right?? well I had to piss so bad but it felt so fuckin good so Im holding it hoping it will just subside, yah right, it got to the point where I couldnt hold it, and shes workin it , the swivel wrist thing going up and down, she was good!! and it happened, I pissed alittle in her mouth she, stopped right away and gave me this weird look, and said "did you just piss in my mouth" I told her I really had to go, well to my suprise she wasnt mad!!


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## upinchronic1 (May 10, 2008)

one time i was joing at this old girlfriend of mines vagina, liking that shit up, then out of nowhere she quefs and farts at the same time, keep in mind this was 69, i got some spray from the fart up my nostrils, and a mouthful of rotten fish shit.


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## aDarkepiphany.. (May 10, 2008)

upinchronic1 said:


> one time i was joing at this old girlfriend of mines vagina, liking that shit up, then out of nowhere she quefs and farts at the same time, keep in mind this was 69, i got some spray from the fart up my nostrils, and a mouthful of rotten fish shit.


 thats horrid haha


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## blinkykush (May 10, 2008)

I just got a new pittbull pup he is 3 months old and we let him sleep with us I was hittin my girl from behind ya know doing my thaaang, when all of a sudden I felt a sandpaper tongue roll up my ass...WTF I never jumped off my girl so fast man.... aight aight I admit it kinda felt good ahhhhhh! j/k I was scared


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## CanadianCoyote (May 13, 2008)

Didn't happen to me, but my best friend was so drunk he shit himself while banging a chick. Had trouble getting a date, after that ...


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## upinchronic1 (May 13, 2008)

aDarkepiphany.. said:


> thats horrid haha


Lol, glad it didnt actually happen, haha


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## blinkykush (May 13, 2008)

I'm still scared from the first time i laid it to my chicks pooper, and I finally got the fucker in....if you have done it then you know that shit is tight and unless your hung like a wild field mouse the chick is gonna tense a bit well she was tensin alright and i felt like king motha fuckin Kong till i pulled it out and SHIT was all up on my stick;-( BRUTAL....Ran my ass to the shower and stayed there for an hour scrubbin my weeeeen man.


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## titanium3g (May 13, 2008)

shorty45 said:


> alright one time i was at a bar totally wasted wheni was in my 20's but back then i wasn't really a ladies man and there was this hot chick that wanted to hook up so we went back to my place and she pulled out these sex beads and she wanted me to stick them in my ass so i was like ok she is super hot its worth it so we were in the middle of it and she pulled them out and i shit every where so i was like woops and went to the bathroom to clean up and when i came back out this chick had like a shit fetish and was playing in my shit it was pretty nasty


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


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## ta2drvn (May 13, 2008)

blinkykush said:


> I just got a new pittbull pup he is 3 months old and we let him sleep with us I was hittin my girl from behind ya know doing my thaaang, when all of a sudden I felt a sandpaper tongue roll up my ass...WTF I never jumped off my girl so fast man.... aight aight I admit it kinda felt good ahhhhhh! j/k I was scared


LOL

Had the same thing happen to me, going at it and my Lab, who always has to be within 3-4 ft from me or the wife ALL THE TIME, is in the room and she is on the edge of the bed and I was standing up with my legs spread a little to get the right height and next thing you know I am JUST about to nut and I feel the tongue licking my ass. LOL It broke my concentration so fast!


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## hightimes! (May 13, 2008)

Inneedofbuds said:


> My girlfriend was giving me some head when we had first started hooking up. Right as I was nutting she sneezed and my load went flying out of her nose.


*did you say bless you?*


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## gogrow (May 14, 2008)

shorty45 said:


> alright one time i was at a bar totally wasted wheni was in my 20's but back then i wasn't really a ladies man and there was this hot chick that wanted to hook up so we went back to my place and she pulled out these sex beads and she wanted me to stick them in my ass so i was like ok she is super hot its worth it so we were in the middle of it and she pulled them out and i shit every where so i was like woops and went to the bathroom to clean up and when i came back out this chick had like a shit fetish and was playing in my shit it was pretty nasty


 
that's fucked up bro; what is even more fucked, is i have heard this exact story before....


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## Stoney McFried (May 14, 2008)

Well....I dont have anything really gross...but my ex would spit on his hand and lube his dick up before he jammed it in cuz he couldn't find a clit with a map and a fucking penlight. He had balls the size of a dinner plate...every time you 69'd him, the damn things would cover your nose....you had to lift them to get air. I often imagined suffocating beneath them if he had a heart attack and died on top of me, and my mom being called in to identify the body. I imagined the headline....WOMAN SMOTHERED BY GIGANTIC NUTS "When he died, he like shit on her forehead," coroner says.


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## Pookiedough (May 15, 2008)

Last night I sneezed and shot a butt plug across the room...my only reaction was to turn to my hubby and say "could you get that?"Not gross but I did get some superb distance.


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## CanadianCoyote (May 15, 2008)

Now I have diet Dr. Pepper dripping down my computer screen, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!!

XD


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## Pookiedough (May 16, 2008)

CanadianCoyote said:


> Now I have diet Dr. Pepper dripping down my computer screen, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!!
> 
> XD


Hey im just glad nobody lost an eye.


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## CanadianCoyote (May 16, 2008)

Now THAT's an ER visit I'd like to see.


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## BudMotherWannabe (May 20, 2008)

GrowTech is my hero!


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## korvette1977 (May 20, 2008)

The 1st girl I ever banged in the ass was in high school.. I smelt the shit before I saw it That alone was a turn off , I could not go on It was nasty so I pulled my cock out of her ass used her curtains to clean it off and then she sucked me off.. It was also the 1st time I ever blew a load on a chicks face ... I do find that degrading but hey she wanted it ... Never kissed that chic.. she grew up to be a mother of 7 kids with 6 different daddy's .. and Im nowhere even close to being a baby's daddy of hers


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## Pookiedough (May 20, 2008)

Lol @ "poopdick" tag.


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## angelblake (May 20, 2008)

lol i was eating this girl ought and she decided to let the water works go right in my face shit got all in my nose and shit her only reply was now you know how i feel so i kicked the bitch ought and took a shower and slept in my geust room


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## angelblake (May 20, 2008)

most times when people have anil sex they take an enema b4 u no like in porn u never see shit dick


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## Stoney McFried (May 20, 2008)

Since when did the ass become an automatic menu item?Why do guys assume that just because I have more than one hole, I want all of them plugged? C'mon...I've given birth twice and I have fucking hemmorhoids....now why the hell do I want my ass caved in too?


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## CanadianCoyote (May 20, 2008)

Exactly. I never understood why "allegedly straight" guys are so hung up on anal.


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## Stoney McFried (May 20, 2008)

I know....mystery to me too...but if they want to plug ya so bad, they should be willing to get plugged first!


CanadianCoyote said:


> Exactly. I never understood why "allegedly straight" guys are so hung up on anal.


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## CanadianCoyote (May 20, 2008)

Yeah!! Next time a guy asks you for anal, ask him if you can shove a dildo in his ass first. If he says yes and lets you do it, then he's earned his anal plus more. XD


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## Stoney McFried (May 20, 2008)

I've actually gotten into fisticuffs with a guy over that...I make it very clear that my ass is off limits...well this guy tried anyway, and got a right smart kick in the thigh(we were doing it doggy so he didnt have to watch me frown)


CanadianCoyote said:


> Yeah!! Next time a guy asks you for anal, ask him if you can shove a dildo in his ass first. If he says yes and lets you do it, then he's earned his anal plus more. XD


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## CanadianCoyote (May 20, 2008)

One of the few guys I was with was very pushy, he kept telling me that anal was the best and I'd love it... and when I kept saying no he got really frustrated. He was a lot stronger than I was ... for a moment, I thought I was gonna be forced into it ... but he managed to contain himself. Never called me after that ...


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## Stoney McFried (May 20, 2008)

That sounds scary...I'd have pretended to go along..."hey lemme take a shit first..." then I'd have climbed out his bathroom window...and if he didnt have one, "id beat him to death with his toilet seat!RAAAARGH!


CanadianCoyote said:


> One of the few guys I was with was very pushy, he kept telling me that anal was the best and I'd love it... and when I kept saying no he got really frustrated. He was a lot stronger than I was ... for a moment, I thought I was gonna be forced into it ... but he managed to contain himself. Never called me after that ...


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## CanadianCoyote (May 20, 2008)

Toilet seat? Nah, I'd just gut him with my house keys. It was pretty scary, but I kinda got the feeling that openly showing fear would turn him on. He kept saying stuff like "You're scared, aint'cha baby..."

It was shortly after that experience that I came to terms with my homosexuality. ^^;


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## Stoney McFried (May 20, 2008)

Well what a rude prick he was...I have big brothers as well, so if I didnt get him, they would...NO MEANS NO!


CanadianCoyote said:


> Toilet seat? Nah, I'd just gut him with my house keys. It was pretty scary, but I kinda got the feeling that openly showing fear would turn him on. He kept saying stuff like "You're scared, aint'cha baby..."
> 
> It was shortly after that experience that I came to terms with my homosexuality. ^^;


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## CanadianCoyote (May 21, 2008)

No means 'no' ... unless it means 'yes'. So that's why we use Safety Words, people! XD

Sorry, terrible joke. I've actually never shared my experience with that guy with my brother. He'd hunt him down and kill him, I know he would, but since the guy didn't act on his request I figured I'll keep it to m'self.


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## regrets (May 21, 2008)

Pregnancy.


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## Moldy (May 21, 2008)

When tripping about 40 years ago I was putting some moves on this cute hippy chick. When I finally got my hand down her pants I felt something all matted and hard. It was dried shit and blood and I freaked out and bolted from the van never to see her filthy ass again.


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## regrets (May 21, 2008)

eewww. hippies are gross.


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## Stoney McFried (May 21, 2008)

Don't panic next time....it could just be an s.o.s pad she keeps down there to clean dishes with


Moldy said:


> When tripping about 40 years ago I was putting some moves on this cute hippy chick. When I finally got my hand down her pants I felt something all matted and hard. It was dried shit and blood and I freaked out and bolted from the van never to see her filthy ass again.


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## Budda_Luva (May 22, 2008)

ewww hahahahahahahahaahahahahaha thats shits funny i bet u smelt ur fingers to HAHAHAHAHAHA


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## FrostyTHEgrowmaN (Jun 13, 2008)

CanadianCoyote said:


> Exactly. I never understood why "allegedly straight" guys are so hung up on anal.


for the same reason women like big dicks, because they have big pussies.thats not hard to understand is it


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## Stoney McFried (Jun 13, 2008)

I don't need a Louisville slugger or anything, but I swear I've had guys no bigger than my middle finger. If its an adult party, bring adult sized toys, please.


FrostyTHEgrowmaN said:


> for the same reason women like big dicks, because they have big pussies.thats not hard to understand is it


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## FrostyTHEgrowmaN (Jun 14, 2008)

Stoney McFried said:


> I don't need a Louisville slugger or anything, but I swear I've had guys no bigger than my middle finger. If its an adult party, bring adult sized toys, please.


I can't tell if I have a small dick or just big legs


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## Stoney McFried (Jun 14, 2008)

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!+rep


FrostyTHEgrowmaN said:


> I can't tell if I have a small dick or just big legs


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## ManOnFire (Jun 14, 2008)

Well I guess I could add to the conversation. Lets see....I was at a party and I had really been interested in this hot chick. Liked her for ages. We were in high school at the time. Anyhow, so I finally hook up with her and we go into a room. We start having sex doggy style and the lights were out, I was drunk and things were a little crazy. So im trying to go harder and faster and on one of my out strokes my dick comes fully out and when I went to slamm back in I accidently hit her in her bum.
She starts screaming in pain, my dick has just been folded in half and one of her friends was walking by the door at the same time as this happens. So her friend opens the door and turns on the light to see why her friend is screaming. It was dead set the worst night of my life. I would be as bad as getting caught jacking off by your mother.
So im fully naked and in pain and this girl who I had such a crush on is lying, screaming on the bed holding her ass and her friend is screaming at me, asking what had I done to her friend. So this then attracts the whole party who pile in the room to see what had happened. 
It was just soooo bad.
She never spoke to me again and for the next week at school everyone was talking about it. 
I still have nightmares....


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## Stoney McFried (Jun 14, 2008)

Muahahaha!Legendary!!!


ManOnFire said:


> Well I guess I could add to the conversation. Lets see....I was at a party and I had really been interested in this hot chick. Liked her for ages. We were in high school at the time. Anyhow, so I finally hook up with her and we go into a room. We start having sex doggy style and the lights were out, I was drunk and things were a little crazy. So im trying to go harder and faster and on one of my out strokes my dick comes fully out and when I went to slamm back in I accidently hit her in her bum.
> She starts screaming in pain, my dick has just been folded in half and one of her friends was walking by the door at the same time as this happens. So her friend opens the door and turns on the light to see why her friend is screaming. It was dead set the worst night of my life. I would be as bad as getting caught jacking off by your mother.
> So im fully naked and in pain and this girl who I had such a crush on is lying, screaming on the bed holding her ass and her friend is screaming at me, asking what had I done to her friend. So this then attracts the whole party who pile in the room to see what had happened.
> It was just soooo bad.
> ...


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## diggitydank420 (Jun 16, 2008)

The last time I got down, this chick gave me an unbelievable BJ. She even swallowed.

But when I started to fuck her, the room was overcome by a terrible smell.

Long story short - that was the first time I faked an orgasm.


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## Twistyman (Jun 16, 2008)

_I heard a guy at a party talking about 69ing and he looks up and sees this little white thing moving by her bung hole...it turns out she had pinworms....he almost lost his tube steak when he jumped up and freaked..._


----------



## BudMotherWannabe (Jun 17, 2008)

That shit is just wrong.

To this day I still can't figure out why women enjoy this shit.. is it a whole power trip thing? Abused at a young age? Bad experiences with dominant men? Or do you wish you were a man?

IDK, I just don't get it.[/QUOTE]


One time I tried to do that. Ok, see...I HATE the taste of cum. But I, every once in a while would take a mouth full for my boyfriend because I loved him and wanted him to completely enjoy himself. Well, once, I wanted him to know what it tasted like, because he kept asking me one time as if he was curious. Well, I took a mouth full and moved up to kiss him. He didnt know I had some in my mouth, but as soon as I start to kiss him he quickly pushes me away "THATS DISGUSTING!!" He yelled. I ran to the bathroom to spit it(normally I swallow just to get it gone fast without trying to offend him by spitting) but this time I spit, and kept washing my mouth out. It had been in there too long and the taste was sickening, I almost puked. Afterwards, I explained what I was doing, since he asked me so many times, I was just going to let him know by experience. He wasn't mad at me, which was good, but he made me promise never to do that again, and I had no problem agreeing with that!


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## Twistyman (Jun 17, 2008)

*Thanks for the diet help...I think I'll skip eggs this morning......*


----------



## Adamus P.R.I.M.E. (Jun 18, 2008)

when I was around 16-17 years old i moved out of my parents house, and started living with a bunch of friends...

One day I come home from work, to find 2 beautiful women ** both were complete knockouts, 1 brunette and the other chick was a hot Fire Crotch ** in my living room being entertained by my roomies. i sit down and join the conversation, i noticed though that brunette was didnt talk too much, and when asked why she was so quiet she signed to me that she was deaf
** i know enough sign language to say a few words and phrases**


She and I begin carrying our own conversation, when she looks over at me and does the old " slide the finger in circle" jesture with her hands asking me if I wanna fuck? I obliged... cause i knew this was gonna for sure put me in hell...

** she actually _*verbally ASKED *_me, that alone was almost enough for me to lose my mind in laughter** 

She and I start going at it and I'm on top, and she's moaning ** more like grunting, but i think it was supposed to be moaning** she started getting into it a lil more and STARTED TALKING DIRTY IN MY EAR!!! ** uhhh eayaaa, eels ood and shit that i couldnt make out ** 

at this point i'm in tears from me laighing... laughing so hard that I had to bury my face in the pillow next to her and was literally screaming with laughter... 

We switched around and I was plowing her from the back making this woman scream/grunt/what ever you call it... all the while I have my head back in laughter like some kind of mad scientist... this went on like this for about 45 minutes to an hour... her screaming and me laughing like a super villain..

when we finished and walked back out into the living room I find my roomies all sitting there shaking there heads at me in one giant collective moment of me being an asshole...

all i could say was "WHAT??? I didn't know deaf girls were so loud..."

She and I have been dating on and off ever since...


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## dannyking (Jun 24, 2008)

http://www.2girls1cup.com.

http://www.fingerslam.com

http://www.ilovethefishes.com


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## dannyking (Jun 24, 2008)

My friend and his ex girlfriend were in bed 69in it. she was on top. anyway they were going at it when all of a sudden he got the shits all over hid face!


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## ALX420 (Jun 24, 2008)

dannyking said:


> My friend and his ex girlfriend were in bed 69in it. she was on top. anyway they were going at it when all of a sudden he got the shits all over hid face!


HA! gross! how do you recover from that? very realistically i imagine.....


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## DWR (Jun 24, 2008)

I fell over and knock'd myself out (was drunk and slip'd on some clothing on the floor, had a wooden floor that was like an icering.... very slippy ), and yeah woke up to my girlfriend just laughing her ass off 

*edit* But i got a present for falling over and hurting myself ... haha


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## BreatheSmoke (Jun 25, 2008)

Adamus P.R.I.M.E. said:


> when I was around 16-17 years old i moved out of my parents house, and started living with a bunch of friends...
> 
> One day I come home from work, to find 2 beautiful women ** both were complete knockouts, 1 brunette and the other chick was a hot Fire Crotch ** in my living room being entertained by my roomies. i sit down and join the conversation, i noticed though that brunette was didnt talk too much, and when asked why she was so quiet she signed to me that she was deaf
> ** i know enough sign language to say a few words and phrases**
> ...



I loved this . . lmao. 

The nastiest sex experience I can think of is when I was giving my ex head, I blew chunks all over his lap. It came on so suddenly .. I didn't even feel sick. Well I guess now I know deep throating is not one of my specialties!


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## ALX420 (Jun 25, 2008)

BreatheSmoke said:


> I loved this . . lmao.
> 
> The nastiest sex experience I can think of is when I was giving my ex head, I blew chunks all over his lap. It came on so suddenly .. I didn't even feel sick. Well I guess now I know deep throating is not one of my specialties!


practice makes perfect.


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## crystally (Jun 25, 2008)

back in the day i was seeing this girl on and off for two years (filled with emotional and psychological bullshit, but being emotionally unstable i fucking craved every single up and down second of that). i liked her so much that i didn't even realize how smoking hot she was. anyways, we were 18 and went to this pool during one hot summer day. it was a public pool. we were chilling in the pool under slide and started to dry hump each other. we were trying to be as discrete as possible but i think we got some dirty looks but i didn't really care. i came and almost drowned from the climax, being high, and i was lost my grip (i was holding on the the slide and my grip slipped off). anyways we then went right to the hot tub, and at the same time several classfuls of children came in (middle schoolish) and went right to the slide, each laughing themselves head first down teh pool right into where i just made a protein deposit. not as nasty as some of the stuff already posted but i still think i may not get into heaven because of this.


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## jamiemichelle (Jun 26, 2008)

crystally said:


> anyways we then went right to the hot tub, and at the same time several classfuls of children came in (middle schoolish) and went right to the slide, each laughing themselves head first down teh pool right into where i just made a protein deposit. not as nasty as some of the stuff already posted but i still think i may not get into heaven because of this.


Exactly why I never go in public pools....ewwww. .


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## crystally (Jun 26, 2008)

i don't go to public pools anymore though...


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## Jriggs (Jun 30, 2008)

not nastty, but one story i though of is 
I was in high school 15/16 (over 1/2 a lifetiem ago ...

this chick I was eating out said try somethign different so I grabbed the lighter next to her and stuck it inside of her...

one tiem with my wife, we were on Xtc, and staying at a friends house who was suposed to be out for the weekend -- low and behold we are goinga t it and the door starts to open I dont think the flash could run faster then I did I made itt o the bathroom and my wife (gf at the time) left her ass on the couch.

she still laughes abotu the tiem "becky" walked in every now and then.


nothing gross I can think of though ... oh one time my bud and me were with a girl at the same time I was bettigna BJ he took care of the other end -- and when we all finished -- she kissed both of us (me first -- i dont mind my own shit if its swallowed -- but then she kissed him....


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## CanadianCoyote (Jul 1, 2008)

Hey Jriggs! Did you ever read 'Watership Down'?


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## brendon420 (Jul 1, 2008)

nothing better than the queef


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## brendon420 (Jul 1, 2008)

the other day i came on my gf and got it in her hair and literally on the walls. i was stoked, all over the pillows, i amazed even myself


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## brendon420 (Jul 1, 2008)

all of my threesomes have been unusual as well... the first one the girl literally soaks me and my bed and my gf and the second one i fuck her friend first and the room starts smelling of a fishing dock or fishing boat or something with dead fish...COMPLETELY killed my boner..i told her it was whiskey dick lol


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## Jriggs (Jul 2, 2008)

CanadianCoyote said:


> Hey Jriggs! Did you ever read 'Watership Down'?


At least 6 times, I tried reading plague dogs and couldnt get through it, but Watership down is my all time favorite book (I do feel alittle gay reading it though sicne its about rabits). I also have read tales from watership down about 4 times.


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## makinthemagic (Jul 3, 2008)

my friends and i had some pills and were partying. i made a move on a girl there and we go back to my room. we started getting down and i slid my hand down her pants. i was fingering her and everything was cool until it sounded like she was having wet farts. she was queefing every time she came. for a minute i was scared my hand was going to come out of her pants with liquid shit all over. good thing it was only vag juice.


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## ALX420 (Jul 3, 2008)

makinthemagic said:


> my friends and i had some pills and were partying. i made a move on a girl there and we go back to my room. we started getting down and i slid my hand down her pants. i was fingering her and everything was cool until it sounded like she was having wet farts. she was queefing every time she came. for a minute i was scared my hand was going to come out of her pants with liquid shit all over. good thing it was only vag juice.


she was faking it. j/k


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