# You Know You're a Stoner if....



## Hashbean420 (May 28, 2010)

c'mon my fellow potheads! tell me some "you know your a stoner if" jokes!!!

you know your a stoner if: you pack a fresh bowl and half an hour later realize you forgot to smoke it.


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## GermanFarmer (May 28, 2010)

You know your a stoner when your snack budget is higher than your grocery budget.
 MUNCHIE time!


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## newbud123 (May 28, 2010)

A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?" 

The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads.

" So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit toking and will come back the next week to buy the TV

. A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?" 
And the owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!" So the stoner leaves again. 

He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?" 
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!!!" 
The stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?" 
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."


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## ALIENSHADZ (May 30, 2010)

*New Hiphop instrumental *- Nice to bubble 2 when high !
*Subscribe*
All love ! 





*
ALIENSHADZ*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CADECAHWY_k






YOUTUBE - ALIENSHADZ


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## Ramen Shaman (May 31, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you hear words like "bowl, beat, bud, cherry, dime, fried, or hash," and immediately think of pot. 

Example: 

Friend: "Man, if I just had a dime, I'd go get a soda."
Me: "I know a guy, but he doesn't usually deal under an eighth."
Friend: "Whoa, what? I meant I'm a dime short of getting a soda."
*Awkward silence*
Me: "Oh.......Disregard my previous statement."


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## Translucent Explorer (May 31, 2010)

When you are sitting in a car, parked across the road consumed in clouds.

As fun as it sounds tempting fate blocking a road with four friends attacking a king cone each, stress levels do become elevated.
When a police siren sounds after a long short time of a 0:100 ratio of oxygen to shrubs, instinct teaches us RUN!!
Instinct also teaches us that looking back to see 2 people running, a car that seems to be on fire due to an abnormal cloud, no police and one idiot rolling in the road laughing.
Chances are the sirens came from the radio slightly to soft for normal sounds just right to sound a distant siren. 

The moral of the story teaches us hot box other peoples cars in roads as thy probably wont run, giving a distinct advantage of a head start from the cuffs.

P.S all you overseas people wish you can do that and not see cops hahaha!!


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## spliffendz (May 31, 2010)

...when you buy things, you work out how many eighths it cost...


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## doc111 (May 31, 2010)

.................or if you keep registering on grow forums under new aliases after being repeatedly banned (or maybe just mentally ill).


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## thatguy830 (May 31, 2010)

when you open a pepsi can(knowing youre going to smoke and need because of cottonmouth) 
leave, smoke a bowl.
then open another one forgetting about the other to cure the horrible cottonmouth


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## patlpp (May 31, 2010)

when you post 12 times a day average for a full year.............


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## doc111 (Jun 1, 2010)

patlpp said:


> when you post 12 times a day average for a full year.............


...................when you blame others for something that is utterly and completetly not their fault. 

Maybe this one should be "You know you're a crackhead when..........."


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## patlpp (Jun 1, 2010)

When you self-appoint a nickname reserved for real men given to them as a symbol of respect.


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## doc111 (Jun 1, 2010)

patlpp said:


> When you self-appoint a nickname reserved for real men given to them as a symbol of respect.


rotflmao!!!! That's your best one yet!


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## Translucent Explorer (Jun 3, 2010)

When you think you have something smart to say to someone you don't know and cant say things to face to face.
Real men don't need a computer, real men don't hide away in chat rooms like little boys, real men are everything your not.
Real men also have basic contextual skills that allow for interpretation of words that may be related to create a significant meaning that may be obscured from the reader.
FINALLY!
Real men come to roll it up to converse in a shared interest to promote a common cause and right, not act like a little boy and prove the extent of immaturity.

So please could all the real men and ladies share story's as intended and could the children go play.


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## welldiced (Jun 3, 2010)

When you take a week of vacation on harvest week!


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## Truckn (Jun 4, 2010)

When you totally didn't get Translucent Explorer's joke...


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## SensiStan (Jun 4, 2010)

welldiced said:


> when you take a week of vacation on harvest week!


haha i do that!!


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## mmsicis (Jun 4, 2010)

when going shopping, u think what to buy only when u are at shop, usually its chips, beer or some kind of munchies.


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## The Potologist (Jun 4, 2010)

This just happened to me very recently and I thought I would share my tale to RIU :

BTW, althought this is comical, its also highly annoying, now that my wife has decided to do it from time to time just to fuck with me, but anyways......

I get up in the middle of watching a movie to grab something out of the fridge, most likely munchies or a drink, sit back down.....go to change the channel on the boob toob and.....WHERE IN THE FUCK DID I PUT THAT COCK SUCKING FUCKING REMOTE!!!

The next morning, I awoke to my adoring wife reminding me that the remote does not go in the fridge  FIRE IN DA HOLE!!


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## mrboots (Jun 4, 2010)

wait, what was this thread about? i forgot what I was going to write....


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## icantseemyface (Jun 4, 2010)

Truckn said:


> When you totally didn't get Translucent Explorer's joke...


haha just wat i was thinkin +rep


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## parttimer (Jun 4, 2010)

This is something i do repeatedly!, I will turn around in the kitchen to get something from the fridge, then im standing in the living room wondering what the hell im doing there, then I remember what it was im supposed to be doing so head off to the fridge again, at which point i find myself in another room wondering what the hell im doing there, eventually i do find my way to the fridge while muttering to myself phrases like "stoned fucker" and giggling.


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## thizz13 (Jun 4, 2010)

You have replied to numerous threads like this.


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## SensiStan (Jun 4, 2010)

parttimer said:


> This is something i do repeatedly!, I will turn around in the kitchen to get something from the fridge, then im standing in the living room wondering what the hell im doing there, then I remember what it was im supposed to be doing so head off to the fridge again, at which point i find myself in another room wondering what the hell im doing there, eventually i do find my way to the fridge while muttering to myself phrases like "stoned fucker" and giggling.


Iv gotta admit, i do that a lot too


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## morfin56 (Jun 9, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when your reading this forum.


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## rowlman (Jun 17, 2010)

If your kids are dressed like Trichomes on Halloween, then you might be a stoner.


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## The sim's Bob Newbie (Jun 18, 2010)

...your friends ask to buy books of papers off you coz you've got so many lying around (I'm sure there was someone on here the other day who had loads of different brands...)


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## royalquard (Jun 19, 2010)

clear eyes in your pocket


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## ImOneBadAssGuy (Jun 20, 2010)

when you read the whole thread to make sure what youre about to say hasnt already been said, but skimp out on reading the longer ones. 

when you prepare something; for example im making fries, i preheat i think of this as vegging. i stick the fries in, this is flowering. the timer sounds. HARVEST! thats inside of an oven of course

edit: lol you know youre a stoner when youre excited because you think what you just posted is funny as shit, but come down and realize its just alright


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## Immortal911 (Jun 21, 2010)

when you watch Half Baked once a week but still cant remember the words


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## Sapphire420 (Jun 21, 2010)

...you start the coffee in the morning, go onto the computer and completely space about the coffee for an hour.

...everything you bake comes out a little overdone because you get high and forget you have something in the oven

...you make sure to get new weed before you run out of the old weed


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## jumboSWISHER (Jun 21, 2010)

you know your a stoner if you have time to sit infront of you computer all day thinking of a response to the "your know your a stoner if..." thread.


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## Dragline (Jun 21, 2010)

You stand at the door to your backyard for 5 minutes calling your dog inside and he doesn't come. You then get pissed and yell "fine, stay outside then". You then slam the door and plop down on the couch to take another bowl hit only to look down at the floor and notice the dog laying on his blanket where he's been the whole time staring at you.


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## GreatwhiteNorth (Jun 21, 2010)

If you understand "Only users lose drugs".


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## jumboSWISHER (Jun 21, 2010)

when you have a joint in one hand, and french fries in the other. and you endup with green teeth somehow? haha


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## eastsidebagel (Jun 27, 2010)

You still can't remember how somebody could convince you to shave off your eyebrows; giggle attacks out of nothing; it's getting incresingly difficult to read a long, coherent sentence.


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## Total Head (Jun 30, 2010)

when you "forget to listen" when people are talking to you, and you are just staring at them with this dumb look and no thoughts in your head. or when you have to see a move 3 times to have any recollection of who's even in it. or my personal favorite, when you are in the middle of a sentence and people have to help you out because you couldn't come up with a simple word like table or car. which leads to my last one: when you have invested over 4 hours of your life googling how to improve your short term memory.


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## duggy0 (Jun 30, 2010)

someone asks you what the best invention ever, was and you say microwave


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## FrEbirdFlying (Jul 1, 2010)

totally have to agree...

accept i would add: you know your a stoner, or you know someone is a stoner when they hear these terms and giggle a little and then look around for someone else to get it too. LOL


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## FrEbirdFlying (Jul 1, 2010)

you know your a stoner when....

you walk outside..look at a tree... and go "whoa! look at all those different shades of green!"


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## eastsidebagel (Jul 2, 2010)

FrEbirdFlying said:


> you know your a stoner when....
> 
> you walk outside..look at a tree... and go "whoa! look at all those different shades of green!"


 LOL! You, Sir, are up for a rep boost!


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## pocw94 (Jul 2, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you smoke weed, and there aint nothing wrong with it!!!


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## FrEbirdFlying (Jul 2, 2010)

eastsidebagel said:


> LOL! You, Sir, are up for a rep boost!



lol. I sir... am a woman. But thank you very much for the Rep Boost!


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## rolledupdriver (Jul 3, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you spend hours looking at bud porn


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## mr west (Jul 3, 2010)

patlpp said:


> when you post 12 times a day average for a full year.............


think im on that one ffs does that mean im a stoner or just lonely lol>>>>>>>>> U know ur a stoner wen u skin up a joint and make a cup of tea and leave the tea stewing for 45 mins wile u smoke the spliff and the tea is stewed to fuk and the spoon is standing up in the cup.


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## mr west (Jul 3, 2010)

U spend that long looking at the forums thinking of something to say and making spliffs that wen u do have something to say that u remember u have to sign in again cuz u dunt have permission to do that.


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## Rileyman1211 (Jul 14, 2010)

you find a bag of old ass chips or food and think its the greatest thing since porn


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## DEPS (Jul 15, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you're so broke that you manage to find only $5 in coins but still jog 2 miles to your grocery store with the CoinStar machine to cash it for a nick.. And the cashier and people in line behind you laugh when they see the total xD still worth it


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## jfa916 (Jul 15, 2010)

i got a few when you think some1 with u but there not and u talk to ur seld 4 an hour
when ur looking 4 yhur blunt and its on ur ear
when u 4gt to smoke
and when u 4gt yhur on the phone and leave it there


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## jfa916 (Jul 15, 2010)

or when u 4get to take weed were ur going


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## DoctorLembo (Jul 16, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you go into the pet store and think about what nutes ur gonna give the hamster when you get it, the right lights and debate yourself between Scrog or Lst


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## DoctorLembo (Jul 16, 2010)

you know your a stoner if you go to make your sandwhich and you grind and weigh your condaments


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## mr west (Jul 16, 2010)

DoctorLembo said:


> you know your a stoner if you go to make your sandwhich and you grind and weigh your condaments


thats if u kno ur a dealer init? lol u know ur a stoner wen you go to kiss ur girlfrind with a spliff hanging out ya gob, lukyly its gone out and just puts ash on her face lol.


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## TheCrystalBudz (Jul 16, 2010)

....you know you're a stoner when you have names for the places you smoke at, like "The Tree" and "The Woods."


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## morfin56 (Jul 17, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you dream about big bags of weed =]


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## RoffleWaffels (Jul 18, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when your teacher calls you a "Doper" because you know how many grams there are in an ounce... Awkward day..


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## mr west (Jul 18, 2010)

wen u turn ur keyboard over enough for two joints falls out from btween the keys


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## PurpelHaze (Jul 18, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you and your friends stop in the middle of the street at the exact same time and sniff the air and then walk back a few paces and sniff some more and then just share a knowing look.


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## mr west (Jul 18, 2010)

you try and move ur curser with the lighter


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## Amnesian (Jul 19, 2010)

Hashbean420 said:


> c'mon my fellow potheads! tell me some "you know your a stoner if" jokes!!!
> 
> you know your a stoner if: you pack a fresh bowl and half an hour later realize you forgot to smoke it.


you know your a stoner if... you hide ur stash then dont remember wer it is tell th next time u get high


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## Amnesian (Jul 19, 2010)

Lol.... yea like wen i sweep my laminate floor same thing happens, but then again it depends on how often i sweep


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## The sim's Bob Newbie (Jul 19, 2010)

You know youra stoner if...you spend hours cutting out roaches from random cards given to you at clubs/in the street and you now have 10 fag packets full but you still actually go looking for thin card rubbish to use for roaches..
(no lie - I do it like its going out of fashion...ain't I a sad/bored bastard? lol)


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## Lung Butter (Jul 22, 2010)

I agree welldiced, but I have to take 3 wks, because the first 2 wks I use to try and remeber why I need the 3rd wk. 

P.S. what happened to the guy's earler the were compairing penis length. Is funny when to stoners fight, don't stop that, quit making fun of me, FU I'm going to go get stoned and you have to smoke your dirt weed, you suck stop it.

Things to remeber in life there is always some dude with a bigger penis, and there is aways someone that grows better weed, I'm just greatfull I'm that dude.


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## Balzac89 (Jul 22, 2010)

lol I accidently used some stoner lingo the other day when i was talking to my boss. I said that something was beat. i don't remember what it was lol


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## Lung Butter (Jul 22, 2010)

"You know youra stoner if...you spend hours cutting out roaches from random cards given to you at clubs/in the street and you now have 10 fag packets full but you still actually go looking for thin card rubbish to use for roaches"

That is nasty...but I've kinda been there myself... very greeetfull I'm not there any longer. 

P.S. sim's bob, may your baggy never run dry !!


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## mr west (Jul 22, 2010)

you know u r wen u get in the car to go to town and end up outside the munchie shope b4 u realise u turned the compleat wrong direction to where u intended to be going lol. I did this today lol>>>>>>>>>>


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## rhilikus420 (Jul 22, 2010)

you know when you find a nug in your dirty laundry hahahahahaha.


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## Johnney Herbz (Jul 22, 2010)

You watch "Dragon Ball Z" and say WTF!? How did he do that?


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## Daso (Jul 28, 2010)

you know your a stoner when sometimes you just dont have enough energy to be stoned anymore.
you have eaten a stupid amount of food without realising you ate that much,
when you have tried hotboxing a stupidly small space with too many people in it (caravan toilet 3 of us in there)


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## drg0nzo (Jul 29, 2010)

....you've been idiling at the stop sign for 10 minutes, waiting for it to turn green.

Been there.


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## Munk76717 (Jul 29, 2010)

hahahahahhaha that is classic


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## KlosetKing (Jul 29, 2010)

1. First time you look at anything, you imagine how it can be turned into some sort of smoking apparatus.
2.Your sweat constantly reeks of ganj.
3.You get comments on how your eyes ARENT bloodshot today.
4.You sum up entire movies/converstations/etc with the words 'Wait, what?!'
5.The thought of being dry actually gives you a headache.

just a few off the top o' my head


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## DAMRAK (Jul 29, 2010)

when you got no weed an you pickin bits out the carpet


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## southernkid (Jul 30, 2010)

When you look down and cant remember why there is a bong in your hand.
When you try and explain simple shit and your friends just look at you and say "umm yeah bro"
When you cant decide if for the past 3 hours you have been sleeping or eating or what because you have no recollection and there is an empty half gallon of icecream and a chips on the floor.
When you price things in terms of how much weed costs.
When you pull out your bag of weed just to smell it over and over.


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## ThePotking (Aug 2, 2010)

every thing u say always ends up coming to down to the pot


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## JadeTheGuitarist (Aug 2, 2010)

when you spend five minutes looking for your pipe when it was on your lap the entire time.


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## mr west (Aug 4, 2010)

JadeTheGuitarist said:


> when you spend five minutes looking for your pipe when it was on your lap the entire time.


and or lighter


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## mr west (Aug 4, 2010)

u know ur a stoner wen u run a bath an next time ur in the bathroom the baths gone stone cold lol


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## trichlone fiend (Aug 4, 2010)

...if you focus on the word "concentrate" on an orange juice can for too long...ya might be.


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## The sim's Bob Newbie (Aug 22, 2010)

Lung Butter said:


> That is nasty...but I've kinda been there myself... very greeetfull I'm not there any longer.
> 
> P.S. sim's bob, may your baggy never run dry !!


I only smoke maybe 3-4 a week, THATS the most disturbing thing about it...I'm not doing it til my next harvest is ready either (in about a month-month and a half)

Why am I still doing it then? Honestly, I must live a sad life...


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## IregAt420 (Aug 24, 2010)

you know when...
1. You make a sandwich, and your friend laughs uncontollably at the thought of mayo. < how i miss immaturity
2. On a college campus, you hot box your car, get out, and forget your phone in the car. going to open the door and its locked with your keys sitting in the seat in plain siight...with a spider bud sitting right next to them....i was pissed. i ended up still calling campo and the dumbass cop didnt even see it. I still have that spider bud =)
3. You have been playing guitar for 2 years on tab and you cant even understand tab after 3 bowls.
4. Your reread your above posts because even you yourself think they are funny as shit.

I love Weed. =)


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## brickedup417 (Aug 24, 2010)

when 
half the shit you type is spelled wrong....cause your in the zone


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## WEED NINJA (Aug 24, 2010)

you know your a stoner if you check why the kettle has not boiled yet and there's a milk carten sitting on the kettle pad
dont ask where the kettle went


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## Drifter126 (Aug 24, 2010)

Hey Partimer,What`s even better whan that is by the time you get to the kitchen,You have allready forgot what you were goin after..


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## NoobGrower416 (Aug 24, 2010)

drg0nzo said:


> ....you've been idiling at the stop sign for 10 minutes, waiting for it to turn green.
> 
> Been there.


lmfao!! that 1 had me in tears!

and heres my addition 


You know you're a stoner when every version of paradise you can think of involves a *big bag full of / room full of / field full of / Millennium Falcon full of chronic* and a few buddies to share it with.

You know you're a stoner when you think about all the weed you're going to smoke when your more realistic ambitions kick off! (becoming a doctor/firefighter/lawyer)


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## Budowski (Aug 25, 2010)

when you put the ice cream in the fridge


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## IregAt420 (Aug 25, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you can strategically take hits from a one hitter without your girlfriend even seeing you. Yes i am the master.


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## Shayden (Aug 25, 2010)

When you have 2 a days in football practice, you get high 3 times during the day, then go home and get high. Then do it again.


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## keller420 (Sep 7, 2010)

when reefer madness scares you


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## HomeGrown&Smoked (Sep 7, 2010)

When you spend an hour looking for your bowl and it was in your left hand the entire time.


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 8, 2010)

IregAt420 said:


> you know when...
> 1. You make a sandwich, and your friend laughs uncontollably at the thought of mayo. < how i miss immaturity
> 2. On a college campus, you hot box your car, get out, and forget your phone in the car. going to open the door and its locked with your keys sitting in the seat in plain siight...with a spider bud sitting right next to them....i was pissed. i ended up still calling campo and the dumbass cop didnt even see it. I still have that spider bud =)
> 3. You have been playing guitar for 2 years on tab and you cant even understand tab after 3 bowls.
> ...


When you chuckle at the thought of mayo being laughed at.


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 8, 2010)

HomeGrown&Smoked said:


> When you spend an hour looking for your bowl and it was in your left hand the entire time.


Looking for your bowl and staring at the hand which it is currently in for several minutes before realizing you are actually holding it.


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 8, 2010)

keller420 said:


> when reefer madness scares you


When Reefer Madness is Oscar worthy.


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 8, 2010)

Budowski said:


> when you put the ice cream in the fridge



When you put the ice cream in your sandwich.


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 8, 2010)

NoobGrower416 said:


> lmfao!! that 1 had me in tears!
> 
> and heres my addition
> 
> ...


Millennium Falcon...sweet.


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 8, 2010)

brickedup417 said:


> when
> half the shit you type is spelled wrong....cause your in the zone


half the shit you type is spelled wrong seems more poignant for some reason.


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## greens are good 4 u (Sep 9, 2010)

...when you drink from the can that was a communal ashtray 1/2 hr earlier!


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## mr west (Sep 10, 2010)

wen u dont actualy watch tv but stare at the corner of it for hours


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## Weedoozie (Sep 10, 2010)

mr west said:


> wen u dont actualy watch tv but stare at the corner of it for hours


LOL I was just doing that...


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## SmokesLikeBob (Sep 10, 2010)

You know you're a stoner if someone asks you, "What is your religion?" and you reply, "American"...lol'

SLB


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## SmokesLikeBob (Sep 10, 2010)

And you know you're a stoner if you got Pizza Hut on speed dial...

SLB


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## BuddhaDawg (Sep 10, 2010)

SmokesLikeBob said:


> You know you're a stoner if someone asks you, "What is your religion?" and you reply, "American"...lol'
> 
> SLB


You are a stoner when that reply brings the response of "Whoa, that's deep."


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## ///redtreezson/// (Sep 10, 2010)

when you go to pier one with your girlfriend and you cant stop freaking out over all the stuff that would make "really badass bongs".


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## McNerdius (Sep 10, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you blow on your ice cream to warm it up...


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## Weedoozie (Sep 10, 2010)

You know you're a stoner if you constantly find the number 420 places and smile to yourself


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## WangChung69 (Sep 10, 2010)

if you visualize everything as a bong and how it can be made into one
if you regularly hang out somewhere with a name such as "the 420 johnspot"
if after your buddies leave a smokefest at your house you walk into the kitchen to find the toaster in the microwave


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## NYCrez (Sep 10, 2010)

When you're burning with a buddy and he hands you the pipe and you stare at him blankly, then ask "Dude...wtf do you want me to do with this...."


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## keller420 (Sep 14, 2010)

when you get upset because someone said something you were thinking, because they stole it from you


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## mr west (Sep 14, 2010)

u start making a joint and look in the ashtray to find half a joint gone out


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## Amnesian (Sep 15, 2010)

You know your a stoner if you would walk to the gas station at 3am, even though its over a mile away, just to buy a packet of papers and a can of soda.


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## BongHits4Jesus (Sep 15, 2010)

Amnesian said:


> You know your a stoner if you would walk to the gas station at 3am, even though its over a mile away, just to buy a packet of papers and a can of soda.


that brings back memories

you know your a stoner if you love to smoke MARIJUANA


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## mr west (Sep 16, 2010)

you know ur a stoner if ur daily amount would last ur mates a week or more.


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## McNerdius (Sep 16, 2010)

Amnesian said:


> You know your a stoner if you would walk to the gas station at 3am, even though its over a mile away, just to buy a packet of papers and a can of soda.


And similarly:

You know you're a stoner when you actually use the controls on the front of your TV/VCR/Receiver/Whatever because you've given up looking for the remote. Then you find it, of course. In your own hand, most of the time.


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## SmokesLikeBob (Sep 16, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you're on rollitup


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## mr west (Sep 17, 2010)

SmokesLikeBob said:


> You know you're a stoner when you're on rollitup


or spend all day trying to get on rollitup like i did yesterday ffs and wen i finaly got on i couldnt be botherd to post anything cuz i was way too stoned by the time i got on lol>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


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## ImSmokerD (Sep 17, 2010)

...if you get severe cramp in your 'smoking arm'!!!


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## Early Shadow (Sep 17, 2010)

You Forget where you hid your stash. Then your lighter, Then after you spend an hour finding it all you forgot where your bowl went...............


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## SmokesLikeBob (Sep 18, 2010)

mr west said:


> or spend all day trying to get on rollitup like i did yesterday ffs and wen i finaly got on i couldnt be botherd to post anything cuz i was way too stoned by the time i got on lol>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


 hahaha! I hear that man!

You know you're a stoner if you have Bob Marley or some other marijuana icon on your wall!


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## mr west (Sep 19, 2010)

u kno wen ur a stoner wen u can reach out and touch ur grow tent and ur playstation with out leaving ur seat and at the same time lmao ( or is that u kno ur a stoner in a small flat?)


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## vertise (Sep 19, 2010)

when you can't tell the difference if your high or not.


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## SmokesLikeBob (Sep 20, 2010)

When your penis reminds you of a bong


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## Drifter126 (Sep 20, 2010)

If you light a roach and later you find that you only have half a mustach!


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## elkins (Sep 21, 2010)

haha, i do that shit all the time...ill be like, OH YEAH REACH ME MY BOWL, I WAS WANTING TO GET HIGH HAHA


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Sep 22, 2010)

SmokesLikeBob said:


> When your penis reminds you of a bong


Hopefully you're looking at your own & not your bud's.


----------



## mr west (Sep 23, 2010)

When u shit yaself wen the police pull up outside ur block and park behinde ur car lol.


----------



## Karmapuff (Sep 23, 2010)

you know your a stoner when...

You forget your pizza on the top of your car and next thing you know a guy rolls up beside you and says " your pizza fell off your roof and is now in the middle of the intersection" and you do a u turn , park and walk out into the middle of the intersection to get your pizza and still eat it!!!


----------



## The Waiter (Sep 23, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you find a big ass nug in an old stash book and have no fuckin recollection of how it got there


----------



## mr west (Sep 23, 2010)

The Waiter said:


> you know your a stoner when you find a big ass nug in an old stash book and have no fuckin recollection of how it got there


thats a lucky stoner that is lol. U kno u are a grower wen u live ur life in 9.5 week chunks lol


----------



## McNerdius (Sep 23, 2010)

mr west said:


> thats a lucky stoner that is lol. U kno u are a grower wen u live ur life in 9.5 week chunks lol


Holy SHIT r u ever right... Well for me its closer to 12wks (im running scrog), but shit yes in general.



You're not a stoner if you don't know what a sploof is. You KNOW you're a stoner if you have more than one laying around.


----------



## JRTokin (Sep 23, 2010)

When your weekly food bills cost more than your rent!


----------



## redivider (Sep 23, 2010)

when you go to the walmart to get orange juice, and get back with ice cream, brownies, doritos, dr pepper, a fish tank, a bright green pair of sunglasses and some condoms.....


----------



## McNerdius (Sep 23, 2010)

redivider said:


> when you go to the walmart to get orange juice, and get back with ice cream, brownies, doritos, dr pepper, a fish tank, a bright green pair of sunglasses and some condoms.....


And no orange juice.


----------



## Doiremick (Sep 23, 2010)

You know your a stoner if....you have to have a bong hit before you leave the house


----------



## green.budz (Sep 23, 2010)

in the morning you find milk in the cubboard
and cereal in the fridge.


----------



## Doiremick (Sep 24, 2010)

You know your a stoner when....you reach into your pocket for a lighter and pull out your phone to check the time instead


----------



## vertise (Sep 24, 2010)

If you forget to vote for prop 19.


----------



## treehuger84 (Sep 25, 2010)

you no your a stoner when you try and light your bong with an imaginary lighter, then realising that you knew were it is and convinced yourself that your already holding it!!!! 
opps....


----------



## Drifter126 (Sep 25, 2010)

When you lock your keys in your car with a joint in plain site and the first person to come help unlock it is a COP.Think GOD he wes unable to unlock it.I was greatful to pay a locksmith 25$ to unlock it after the cop left.Close,Very Close!!


----------



## Soplain (Sep 25, 2010)

parttimer said:


> eventually i do find my way to the fridge while muttering to myself phrases like "stoned fucker" and giggling.


hahaha! thats sooo true! and looking in the mirrors at yourself as you walk into your kitchen


----------



## Soplain (Sep 25, 2010)

SmokesLikeBob said:


> When your penis reminds you of a bong


hahah uhh you have a hollow glass penis? with diff. chambers? lolol jk


----------



## The sim's Bob Newbie (Sep 26, 2010)

You know your a stoner if you find yourself on RIU reading a thread about someone smoking "dried period blood" BY ACCIDENT...sorry, just had to mention that thread!


----------



## Karmapuff (Sep 26, 2010)

When you play with your monitors settings for a good 5 minutes.

^Holy shit


----------



## Weedoozie (Sep 28, 2010)

The sim's Bob Newbie said:


> You know your a stoner if you find yourself on RIU reading a thread about someone smoking "dried period blood" BY ACCIDENT...sorry, just had to mention that thread!


That is absolutely disgusting...


----------



## JRTokin (Sep 30, 2010)

vertise said:


> If you forget to vote for prop 19.


Lol thats a good point, wonder how many stoners will forget to vote.


----------



## poopoo1964 (Oct 1, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you forget what you forgot to forget the forgotten.. AH... YA....


----------



## mr west (Oct 2, 2010)

last thing u remember is stopping at a red light and next thing u wake up outside mcdonalds drivethrough window with a tenner in ur hands


----------



## reefermdns (Oct 2, 2010)

You know your a stoner when:
Your on the way to the store an you treat a red light like a Stop sign.
When your too stoned to find the remote so instead you watch a marathon of Top Chef or something like it
When you invite your friends over to kick it only so you can make them bring you food so you don't have to exert any effort.
When you play the same level in super mario bros for three hours


----------



## reefermdns (Oct 2, 2010)

When a homie you havent seen in hella long comes to sesh and you clean your piece cause its "a special occasion"


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## mr west (Oct 2, 2010)

When you invite your friends over to kick it only so you can make them bring you food so you don't have to exert any effort.

LMAO I do this on a daily basis lmao>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


----------



## reefermdns (Oct 2, 2010)

all of your pants have resin stains and/or burn holes


----------



## mr west (Oct 2, 2010)

jfa916 said:


> or when u 4get to take weed were ur going


I forgot to take my 6 blue peters( ones id made earlier) to golf but luckyly had a bit of green in my tin lol


----------



## mr west (Oct 2, 2010)

wen u rub ur eye after making a fat  and get thc in your eye from ur sticky fingers lmao i do this regularly ffs


----------



## Kushcrosser (Oct 3, 2010)

when you pick up what you think is a bud in the carpet and get ready to smoke it, and realize its a smashed baby lizard that escaped from your aquarium that got stepped on.


----------



## mr west (Oct 4, 2010)

Kushcrosser said:


> when you pick up what you think is a bud in the carpet and get ready to smoke it, and realize its a smashed baby lizard that escaped from your aquarium that got stepped on.


aww sorry for ya loss man lol>>>>>


----------



## mr west (Oct 4, 2010)

you know ur a stoner wen even tho u cant breath wen u wake up u still build a fat joint in the mornings for wake and bake


----------



## teryy (Oct 4, 2010)

you know ur a stoner when you smoke before everything,eating,leaving the house,movies,showers,sleeping,going to work,going to school,sex,


----------



## mr west (Oct 4, 2010)

before during and after lmao >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


----------



## mr west (Oct 4, 2010)

you kno wen u post the same thing more than twice. Good thing is most of dunt realise cuz we jus as bad lol


----------



## one11 (Oct 4, 2010)

you know when ur a stoner when every shirt you have has at least one burn hole in it.

you know ur a stoner when you dedicate your change to buying papers\blunts.

you know ur a stoner when all the locals know your the biggest pothead in town.

you know ur a stoner when you can name out your 3 top favorite strains to schmoke.

you know ur a stoner when you have to spend an hour looking for your keys every morning.

you know ur a stoner when you feel like you've been reborn in the morning because your brain is just that burnt out.


----------



## Kushcrosser (Oct 4, 2010)

you know you are a stoner when you tell you out of state gf that talking to her on the phone for long periods at a time is making it tough to get high, and that you are gonna have to cut down on your talking time.


----------



## Weedoozie (Oct 4, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you realize how many people would just chill out if they smoked cannabis


...and the world would be a better place...*sigh*


----------



## bushpushersdaughter (Oct 5, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when your out of state bf acctually gets you to _BELIEVE_ that talking for long periods of time on the phone makes it tough for him to get high while you , on the other hand, have no problem at all.


----------



## bushpushersdaughter (Oct 5, 2010)

Kushcrosser said:


> you know you are a stoner when you tell you out of state gf that talking to her on the phone for long periods at a time is making it tough to get high, and that you are gonna have to cut down on your talking time.


You are a funny man. Please read my post on this thread.


----------



## FTP47 (Oct 7, 2010)

when this pic makes u wish u were rich and you saved up ur weed (ya right)


----------



## FTP47 (Oct 7, 2010)

FTP47 said:


> when this pic makes u wish u were rich and you saved up ur weed (ya right)


or when u get super pissed and disappointed when ur pic doesnt show up =(


----------



## IregAt420 (Oct 8, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you take that first hit. like...THIS is what kills people? bah, ill take my chances. lol


----------



## mr west (Oct 8, 2010)

you know when you're a stoner when u cant be botherd to


----------



## SmokeyMc74 (Oct 8, 2010)

Ramen Shaman said:


> You know you're a stoner when you hear words like "bowl, beat, bud, cherry, dime, fried, or hash," and immediately think of pot.
> 
> Example:
> 
> ...


Now thats funny right there


----------



## SmokesLikeBob (Oct 8, 2010)

if your cabinets are full of popcorn and doritos


----------



## one11 (Oct 8, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you start a thread or post in a thread and forget about it for a few months until you come across it.


----------



## d r0cK (Oct 8, 2010)

you know youre a stoner when you go to pack a bowl and instead pack the downstem. then realize that the bowl is already packed and sitting on the table next to the weed tray..... shit.


----------



## jarjarneeks (Oct 12, 2010)

Weedoozie said:


> You know you're a stoner when you realize how many people would just chill out if they smoked cannabis
> 
> 
> ...and the world would be a better place...*sigh*


Haha I always find myself saying that after half the customers I talk on the phone with. "Daaaammmnnnnn that bitch needs to smoke a bowl" 


I got some. I dunno how many have been done since I only read like half of these. lol

You know you are a stoner when you are constantly asking yourself if certain things would be more fun if you were baked.

You know you are a stoner when you have to add weed to list when you are trying to figure out your monthly expenses. 

You know you are a stoner when everyone at the China Palace down the street considers you part of their family. 

You know you are a stoner when the vet can tell you are a pothead by what names you give your pets.


----------



## MomaPug (Oct 13, 2010)

jarjarneeks said:


> Haha I always find myself saying that after half the customers I talk on the phone with. "Daaaammmnnnnn that bitch needs to smoke a bowl"
> 
> 
> I got some. I dunno how many have been done since I only read like half of these. lol
> ...


Love it...you mean my vet knows that I am a stoner because my pets are named Thai Thai and Kush?

You may be a stoner if, you find you have three different bowls loaded and ready to go at the same time because you were so busy drooling over what flavor you wanted...I usually find myself in this situation when I go to load another bowl and don't have any empty one.......then.....I have to figure out what is in each bowl and decide what flavor I want all over again!
You may also be a stoner if you just decide to try smoking a hit out of each bowl to see how the "combo" works.


----------



## Brokenneck (Oct 13, 2010)

....If you always have at least one black finger.


----------



## dam612 (Oct 13, 2010)

if u have a tray from tacobell/bk in your car ready for rolls- I have a silver platter that i snabbed from chipotle


----------



## MomaPug (Oct 13, 2010)

You are a stoner if...before going on vacation to visit relatives, you pack up a box of little "presents" to send ahead...with instructions not to open the box until you arrive.....making sure you have added a little gift for yourself so you don't have to worry about finding bud in an "un-kind" state.


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## LetMeBe (Oct 13, 2010)

When "awake" and "stoned" are the same word...

or when you stop doing something to fully enjoy a song


----------



## jarjarneeks (Oct 14, 2010)

LetMeBe said:


> When "awake" and "stoned" are the same word...
> 
> or when you stop doing something to fully enjoy a song


Hahaha yeah when I am driving I won't talk on the phone for anything cause I just want to enjoy the music. lol.


----------



## starysky (Oct 14, 2010)

you know your a pot head when your neighbours call the fire brigade to your house after mistaken the plumes of smoke coming from your windows as a fire... true storie. they kicked my door in and found me and my 2 girl pals baked on the sofas.. I can laugh about it now but freaked out at the time


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## Weedoozie (Oct 14, 2010)

starysky said:


> you know your a pot head when your neighbours call the fire brigade to your house after mistaken the plumes of smoke coming from your windows as a fire... true storie. they kicked my door in and found me and my 2 girl pals baked on the sofas.. I can laugh about it now but freaked out at the time


Damn dude...didn't they ring the doorbell first??


----------



## TTT3 (Oct 17, 2010)

When your thinking about how your thinking wayyyy to hard.


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## IregAt420 (Oct 17, 2010)

Very nice first post! lol welcome!

When you watch Mathew Mccanahay(idk how to spell it and i can careless lol) laugh as he is getting into the car in dazed and confused....over....and over....and over again without a break from laughing.


----------



## drinkmugrootbeer (Oct 18, 2010)

you know if your a stoner is:when your ask your mom what did she put you bud at. when it is keys, wallet ,cash, one hitter and pappers
before you leave for work.

_DANGER TYPING WELL STONED WATCH FOR TYPOS _


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## spliffbazz (Oct 18, 2010)

you no youre a stoner if you have another bag ready to toke before the one u have is gone........


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## greenpride (Nov 3, 2010)

you know you're a stoner when you've been playing gta IV for the past 4 months, but have yet to complete the game because all you do is drive around. 

just happened: you know you're a stoner when you do a load of laundry and forget to add detergent lol that's not even the worst part; you spring from the sofa because you think you have time to add it before it starts only to see its already on the drain and spin cycle =P


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## spliffbazz (Nov 3, 2010)

greenpride said:


> you know you're a stoner when you've been playing gta IV for the past 4 months, but have yet to complete the game because all you do is drive around


lol driving around ....me too i knock every1 down and try find hideing places.. +rep


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## greenpride (Nov 3, 2010)

spliffbazz said:


> lol driving around ....me too i knock every1 down and try find hideing places.. +rep


haha! knew i wasn't the only one. lol and i didn't think anything about this when i did it, but you know you're a stoner when during "sexy time" you catch yourself looking at the wireless thermometer sitting on the coffee table to make sure the temp and the humidity is on point in your grow tent...


----------



## BDBandit (Nov 3, 2010)

TTT3 said:


> When your thinking about how your thinking wayyyy to hard.


haha oh this is so true lol..I do it everytime


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## King Pannu (Nov 7, 2010)

Here are a couple, dont know if they've been said tho.

You know your a stoner/hanging out with stoners if your walking with a group of friends in complete silence thinking their footsteps are your footsteps.

You know your a stoner if you surf through channels and end up watch colourful children shows that look trippy as fuck for an hour straight.

You know your a stoner if you can be completely alone, and in silence and still laugh your ass off.


----------



## whitewidowlover (Nov 7, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you go to the store for 1 thing and come out with muchies and eat a box of pumkin cakes in the car.


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## whitewidowlover (Nov 7, 2010)

Weedoozie said:


> You know you're a stoner when you realize how many people would just chill out if they smoked cannabis
> 
> 
> ...and the world would be a better place...*sigh*


I think this every damn day!


----------



## whitewidowlover (Nov 7, 2010)

Brokenneck said:


> ....If you always have at least one black finger.


Hahahahaha


----------



## spliffbazz (Nov 7, 2010)

you no youre a stoner when you roll a joint and forget to put weed in it...


----------



## xKuroiTaimax (Nov 7, 2010)

^ ROFL

You're watching a movie with friends and someone says 'buns'. All of you laugh immaturely. You continue laughing hysterically when you realize they were thinking about a lady's junk and you wanted the kind of girl with leaves...


----------



## ogkush21 (Nov 7, 2010)

you know you're a stoner when you have blunt burn holes all over your matress and sofas


----------



## whitewidowlover (Nov 8, 2010)

ogkush21 said:


> you know you're a stoner when you have blunt burn holes all over your matress and sofas


Or Shirts!


----------



## Kushcrosser (Nov 9, 2010)

when you feel bad and tell yourself..I just need to smoke some more.


----------



## xKuroiTaimax (Nov 9, 2010)

You know you're a stoner if you check to see if it's 4:20 yet in any time zone.


----------



## spliffbazz (Nov 9, 2010)

you no you,re a stoner when you look at a clock to see what time it is and then forget as soon as you look away...


----------



## mr west (Nov 12, 2010)

you know ur a stoner wen u make joints for a 15 min drive


----------



## hydrogro12 (Nov 12, 2010)

you know your medicated when you drop the chillum and forget what happened before it hits the ground.


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Nov 13, 2010)

hydrogro12 said:


> you know your medicated when you drop the chillum and forget what happened before it hits the ground.


Drop the what?


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## mr west (Nov 14, 2010)

Chillum >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


----------



## knehbosem (Nov 14, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when the thought of sticking a tampon up your ass for anal pleasurement has crossed your mind more than once.


----------



## tardis (Nov 14, 2010)

If while reading this message you totally forgot what the topic was....


----------



## tardis (Nov 14, 2010)

If you write the same thing twice cause you forgot you wrote it the first time.... but I never do that...


----------



## tardis (Nov 14, 2010)

If you write the same thing twice cause you forgot you wrote it the first time.... but I never do that..


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Nov 14, 2010)

knehbosem said:


> You know you're a stoner when the thought of sticking a tampon up your ass for anal pleasurement has crossed your mind more than once.


Uhmmm, Thats not the sign of a stoner, it the sign of latent weird ass sexual tendencies. 
And welcome to RIU.


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## jfa916 (Nov 14, 2010)

greatwhitenorth said:


> uhmmm, thats not the sign of a stoner, it the sign of latent weird ass sexual tendencies.
> and welcome to riu.


burnn hahhaha


----------



## tardis (Nov 14, 2010)

GreatwhiteNorth said:


> Uhmmm, Thats not the sign of a stoner, it the sign of latent weird ass sexual tendencies.
> And welcome to RIU.


Perhaps being a stoner woke him up to th efact that he has latent weird ass sexual tendencies, and he thinks its the pot...


----------



## FTP47 (Nov 14, 2010)

when your your weekend involved writing a paper and a birthday party but was still a good one cuz you were stoned the entire time


----------



## katie did (Nov 15, 2010)

if you're a chick and you wipe BEFORE you pee!


----------



## Jefferstone (Nov 15, 2010)

Sorry I forgot....what was the topic? I just had it a second ago....


----------



## pilgram (Nov 15, 2010)

if you ask a bunch of stoners if you "should eat these shrooms i found"


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Nov 15, 2010)

pilgram said:


> if you ask a bunch of stoners if you "should eat these shrooms i found"


I've seen that very question asked on here quite a few times.
Makes you wonder how many dead fuckers there are out there slumped over their keyboard.


----------



## rambler420 (Nov 15, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you're driving down a back country road that looks like every other back country road and all of a sudden you forget which road you're on or where you're going. Then you tell yourself to just keep going and you'll recognize it eventually, I mean, there's a reason you turned onto that road in the first place, right? Eventually, you'll see a landmark and it comes back to ya....


----------



## odlaw (Nov 16, 2010)

if my avatar trips you out


----------



## rambler420 (Nov 16, 2010)

your avatar is just downright creepy, man


----------



## lozac123 (Nov 16, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you eat a full meal,and then are hungry 10 mins later.


----------



## thefinsack (Nov 16, 2010)

you know your a stoner if...
1)you sleep too much and cant tell what day it is
2)you can watch sitcoms that arent funny for hours at a time
3)sometimes you smoke get the munchies eat until your stomach hurts than the next morning you wake up thinking its tuesdays FRIENDS is on your tv and you have to take the biggest dump in your life
4)instead of a piggiebank you have a roach jar


----------



## MDHomeGrown (Nov 18, 2010)

You've read this entire thread
You find a bowl pack almost every time u go 2 vacuum out ur car


----------



## sk'mo (Nov 18, 2010)

... Anytime you bake something, people ask "Is there weed in it?"


----------



## MDHomeGrown (Nov 18, 2010)

sk'mo said:


> ... Anytime you bake something, people ask "Is there weed in it?"


some ppl just need 2 eat n stop asking questions. 2 many stressed out, non-smoking americans


----------



## windytodai (Nov 18, 2010)

You know you're a stoner if you think your weed is a tomato plant.


----------



## Don Gin and Ton (Nov 19, 2010)

you know your a stoner when your vacuum has more dirt and leaves in than dust


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Nov 19, 2010)

Don Gin and Ton said:


> you know your a stoner when your vacuum has more dirt and leaves in than dust


I like your bear's "Lady Berrys"


----------



## Don Gin and Ton (Nov 19, 2010)

ripe huh............!


----------



## mr west (Nov 21, 2010)

wen u forget what tv show ur watching in the advert break


----------



## [email protected] (Nov 26, 2010)

u know your a stoner if your light bill is more than your house payment


----------



## Don Gin and Ton (Nov 27, 2010)

when you use nail polish remover as hand wash


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 1, 2010)

mr west said:


> wen u forget what tv show ur watching in the advert break


haha ive done that way too many times


----------



## dam612 (Dec 1, 2010)

take a rip, lose the lighter, ten min later rip again, misplaces lighter again. find it again, rip and lost.... Total distance moved-4feet


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 1, 2010)

I dont know if anyone has said this one yet but im gonna add it anyways...you know your a stoner when you can make a bong out of a juice bottle, a tube, and duck tape.


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 1, 2010)

You know your a stoner if you pull into the gas station blazed and freak out because you cannot for the life of you remember which side of your car the gas tank is on.


----------



## dam612 (Dec 1, 2010)

TheStonerPrincess said:


> You know your a stoner if you pull into the gas station blazed and freak out because you cannot for the life of you remember which side of your car the gas tank is on.


lol ive done this, but i was so high i thought ide smooth it over by.....turning around the pumps to the other side, only to realize the same side of my whip was facing the pumps still and still coulndt fill up


----------



## nonfakename (Dec 2, 2010)

I'll give it a shot, "you know you're a stoner when..." you know what, I can't. I just have a hard time seeing even "excessive" smoking as enough of a negative or stereotype to call someone a "stoner" in that way, it just sounds so negative, like, "look at that stoner, he can't even pick up his cell phone to order a pizza he's so baked," when being that relaxed is basically the point of smoking some nice indica, or saying "wow, that's a stoner, he just resin ripped an empty roach paper!" Or something like "That guy is such a stoner, he just spent three hours smashing up old stems and now he's making tea with it!" Okay, so a couple of those might be funny, or true, but still, I don't like to stereotype. ya know what I mean? lol.


----------



## IregAt420 (Dec 2, 2010)

nonfakename said:


> I'll give it a shot, "you know you're a stoner when..." you know what, I can't. I just have a hard time seeing even "excessive" smoking as enough of a negative or stereotype to call someone a "stoner" in that way, it just sounds so negative, like, "look at that stoner, he can't even pick up his cell phone to order a pizza he's so baked," when being that relaxed is basically the point of smoking some nice indica, or saying "wow, that's a stoner, he just resin ripped an empty roach paper!" Or something like "That guy is such a stoner, he just spent three hours smashing up old stems and now he's making tea with it!" Okay, so a couple of those might be funny, or true, but still, I don't like to stereotype. ya know what I mean? lol.


We are all "stoners" here! We are the stereotype, but we dont conform to that stereotype. Fuck all the people that say otherwise.

since I am here, on my way home last night i got lost 5 times on backroads that i used to grow up on. Looking back now, I know exactly where I was. Gotta love that green!


----------



## nonfakename (Dec 2, 2010)

I suppose you've got a point there, alright, here's one more, "You know you're a stoner when you're sitting in 'the circle' waiting on your turn, you look at everyone for the rotation, then get frustrated and say "where the fuck is that joint!" only to realize it's in YOUR hand and people are waiting on YOU!" I'd give that one about a 7/10, even though I just wrote it, it sounds old already.


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 2, 2010)

nonfakename said:


> I suppose you've got a point there, alright, here's one more, "You know you're a stoner when you're sitting in 'the circle' waiting on your turn, you look at everyone for the rotation, then get frustrated and say "where the fuck is that joint!" only to realize it's in YOUR hand and people are waiting on YOU!" I'd give that one about a 7/10, even though I just wrote it, it sounds old already.


haha i think ive done that once or twice


----------



## high|hgih (Dec 2, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you can kill unicorns with your mind.


----------



## IregAt420 (Dec 2, 2010)

You know your a dry stoner when you scrape your bowls every night hoping for a glob a resin that wasnt there last night.

---that was a rough month.


----------



## woozle (Dec 5, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you like to pretend to take a hit with fresh air


----------



## StonedPony (Dec 6, 2010)

You know you are a stoner when you find a coat hanger with plastic coating and you scrape it off and cut into a Poker.


----------



## Zealot (Dec 7, 2010)

When you read this shit


----------



## high|hgih (Dec 9, 2010)

When your an african american.


----------



## high|hgih (Dec 9, 2010)

Lol JK, you know your a stoner when your a nigger.


----------



## mr west (Dec 10, 2010)

cock muncher


----------



## chichi (Dec 10, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you try to change the tv channel with the cordless phone! jeeezzz...


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## mr west (Dec 11, 2010)

chichi said:


> You know you're a stoner when you try to change the tv channel with the cordless phone! jeeezzz...


or try operate the pc by moving ur moblie phone around on the mouse mat


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Dec 13, 2010)

mr west said:


> or try operate the pc by moving ur moblie phone around on the mouse mat


Or try to dial the phone on your keyboard.


----------



## DaLeftHandMan (Dec 13, 2010)

..are sitting in your car pissed off, looking for your phone and your telling the person your talking to ON said phone, you are getting pissed because you cant find it. heh ^_^'''


----------



## madcatter (Dec 13, 2010)

you cant remember what it is you were even trying to remember.........

or you really like windows media player when god smacked....


----------



## sonar (Dec 15, 2010)

when the lights in your closet cost you TWICE as much money as the cloths that were in it...


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 15, 2010)

when you start typing to someone and halfway through you completely forget what you were gonna say


----------



## a dog named chico (Dec 15, 2010)

when ug...hmmm...ummm...what?
When your glass pieces are cleaner than the rest of your house.
When you'll buy weed and worry about the rent later.
When the idea of traveling to the the fridge seems like a 3 day journey.


----------



## Sil Dil (Dec 17, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you told yourself you were going to read through every post so none of yours were repeats, than at page 2 your all you can think is " Fuck it I'm just posting my shit." 
You know your a stoner when your living room table always has enough weed on it to hit a bowl, even if that means scrapping the surface with a card for 20 minutes.
A couple personal ones qucikly:
You know your a stoner when you crack and egg into the sink instead of the frying pan (my buddy)
You know you a stoner when your drinking out of the two litre bottle of sprite intsead of pouring yourself a glass and talking on the house phone. And when your done you put the phone in the fridge and the pop beside the phone charger (me, it was good bud =) )
Your know your a true and lifelong stoner when, after all those bowls, spliffs, or whatever else, it's still worth smoking for that 5-10 minutes of being high. (not suppose to be funny, honestly how I feel)


----------



## Richard Smith (Dec 17, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you cant with the help of god string a sentence together. or should i say thats when you know your Cabbaged.


----------



## dam612 (Dec 17, 2010)

when you go to pack the bowl and its already packed


----------



## Sil Dil (Dec 17, 2010)

dam612 said:


> when you go to pack the bowl and its already packed


classic case hahaha +rep


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## xanadulives (Dec 17, 2010)

OH fuck I'm only on page one of seven and I'm already crying........

.....reading this thread is like a standup fucking comic act right now.

I'd say you know you're a stoner when 99% of these fucking hilarious stupid acts are things you do on a regular basis but don't remember it until you've read it.


----------



## xanadulives (Dec 17, 2010)

looking for my fucking god damn one hitter for fucking ever then saying fuck it and go to roll a joint and realize the fuckers been in my mouth the whole time...............

...packed.


----------



## TheRachShow (Dec 19, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when...

... Your one dream in life is to drive around all day smoking mad weed, selling it legally, just like you did back in highschool.

 Goodtimes.


----------



## djruiner (Dec 19, 2010)

........if your sitting on your couch...watching tv with a bag of oreos in your lap...then as a commercial for oreos comes on...you say out loud 
"mmm oreos..wish i has some oreos"
forgetting you have a oreo in your hand...then you look at your hand...and smile


----------



## puck1969 (Dec 19, 2010)

You know you are a stoner when you smoke a bowl and pull into a busy fast food rest. It's cold so you got the window up and
are crankin' the music. Slowly moving up, rockin some good tunes and you realize you passed the ordering spot... WITHOUT ORDERING!!!
Yup, it happened...


----------



## KingDavid91 (Dec 19, 2010)

royalquard said:


> clear eyes in your pocket


 Rohtos in your pocket


----------



## TOneSmokeyBone (Dec 22, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you forget all of your login names and passwords even tho there all the same  haha


----------



## CONNISSUER (Dec 22, 2010)

U know ur a stoner wen u go downstairs or upstairs 4 somthin, and wen u get ther u totally 4got wat ur there 4.. aahhhh, fucking wonderfull.lol


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 22, 2010)

TOneSmokeyBone said:


> you know your a stoner when you forget all of your login names and passwords even tho there all the same  haha


hahahaha thats happened to me once or twice


----------



## carl.burnette (Dec 22, 2010)

I know I'm a stoner because here I am at home, no wife or kids (they are out for the day) so I smoked a bowl of my finest after stopping at the news stand for the newest copies of High Times & Weed World. 

I swear I searched the house high & low for those magazines & I still couldn't find them. 20 mins later I find them on the back of the toilet where I sat them when I came it.

Nice... 

Real nice..


----------



## eddieb98 (Dec 24, 2010)

you're hacking up green grollies that bounce every morning..


----------



## pilgram (Dec 24, 2010)

if you get a Christmas card from The Attitude.....


----------



## Saxodile (Dec 24, 2010)

You know your a stoner when your entire christmas list consists of:
Slim Jim 2.0 w/ precooler
7gs Of Kush
and that bee line stuff

I doubt my parents are going to buy me any of that, so I'll go another year of getting bullshit i don't want.


----------



## Saxodile (Dec 24, 2010)

TheCrystalBudz said:


> ....you know you're a stoner when you have names for the places you smoke at, like "The Tree" and "The Woods."


HELL YEA DUDE
We're always like "Where are we going to smoke?"
the options are always 
"The Roof Top" "Old City" "The Alley"
The Roof Top is in the busiest part of our city and it has an ad painted on the wall for a radio station that reads 420 AM - Wims we smoke up there and wave at all the cars and duck when a cop comes. LOL


----------



## Saxodile (Dec 24, 2010)

RoffleWaffels said:


> You know you're a stoner when your teacher calls you a "Doper" because you know how many grams there are in an ounce... Awkward day..


Lmao, A subsitute for my physics class was asking us that one day. He was like How many grams in an ounce/ pound/ kilo and we told him fast and he was like "Oh, You guys are good. You know who would know that really good?" we answered "Pot dealers" and then we laughed. He knew what was up lol


----------



## Maserati89 (Dec 25, 2010)

you know when the moment you have read this post, you already forgot what the thread is about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0u266b7guc&feature=related
^ and just a random hahaha


----------



## mr west (Dec 25, 2010)

your cruising the weed forums first thing christmas morning>>>>>>>>>>


----------



## oOBe RyeOo (Dec 25, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you jack off and forget to put up your spank spank material and your parents find it. 

Happened to me when I was younger

Lost my 50th anniversary Playboy my bro gave me for my bday and I miss it dearly.


----------



## mr west (Dec 25, 2010)

oOBe RyeOo said:


> You know you're a stoner when you jack off and forget to put up your spank spank material and your parents find it.
> 
> Happened to me when I was younger
> 
> Lost my 50th anniversary Playboy my bro gave me for my bday and I miss it dearly.


girlfriends are much better


----------



## chichi (Dec 25, 2010)

Yep...I'd have to agree...you know you're a stoner when you check the grow forums on Christmas morning!! Wakeybakey!


----------



## oOBe RyeOo (Dec 25, 2010)

mr west said:


> girlfriends are much better


I was like 15 but I do agree... hopefully Santa get's me some haha


----------



## high|hgih (Dec 25, 2010)

You know your a stoner if you go outside to smoke a cigarette and realize that you are holding your one hitter, and then say 'fuck it, might as well finish this thing off'


----------



## rollin in grass (Dec 25, 2010)

you know your a stoner when you have to read things twice to fully understand what it says


----------



## StonedPony (Dec 26, 2010)

you might be a stoner if you drive your car to the local convience store.....buy tons of snacks and walk home cause you forgot you drove your car there............yep i did it.


----------



## carl.burnette (Dec 26, 2010)

I had a guy that worked for me. HE was not the brightest bulb on the tree. He couldn't read, couldn't think etc. Totally fried his brain on hard stuff. We were all sitting around the lunch room one day on site & the topic of weed came up & someone said about how much it was by the oz & I was thinking hard to figure out how much that was per gram ( imperial to metric calculations) well this guy who we will call Stinky. he just rips through the entire conversion table just lickety split.

I have a college education, I run a company with about 10 employees but we do almost 10 million per year in volume. I own my house, I have had life insurance since a young age etc. A pretty got it to gether kinda guy. & heres Stinky who can do this complicated math in his head but can't spell his own name.

Hmm.. I swear, if he could put that much brain power into being a normal person in society his life would be much better..

Almost sad..


----------



## Barrelhse (Dec 27, 2010)

You know you're a stoner if you registered at RIU and you're not a cop.


----------



## oOBe RyeOo (Dec 27, 2010)

Barrelhse said:


> You know you're a stoner if you registered at RIU and you're not a cop.


If this was facebook, I would like this. lol... that's how you know you're a stoner.


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## mr west (Dec 28, 2010)

wen ur clones get new top growth b4 u unmat all the roots and plant em lol


----------



## xKuroiTaimax (Dec 29, 2010)

You know you're a stoner when you budget more for herbs while grocery shopping...


----------



## Pipe Dream (Dec 29, 2010)

wen you go to a site that ends with NL. U say dot northern lights.


----------



## 41943420 (Dec 31, 2010)

i just know im a stoner i loves me some dem purple erkels


----------



## prostheticninja (Dec 31, 2010)

Ok I got a few
You know your a stoner when zig zags are on your grocery list.
You know your a stoner when you try to unlock your ipod when it's off.
You know your a stoner when you walk in your house and immediately lock the door.
You know your a stoner if you wake up in the morning after smoking the night before, and have 16 lighters that aren't yours in your pocket. (me)
You know your a stoner when you know the way to McDonald's like the back of your had, but cant remember where your stash is.
You know your a stoner when you go to spit your gum out the window, and the windows down. (my friend)


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## GreatwhiteNorth (Dec 31, 2010)

prostheticninja said:


> You know your a stoner when you go to spit your gum out the window, and the windows down. (my friend)


Shouldn't the widow be down when spitting gum out?


----------



## TheStonerPrincess (Dec 31, 2010)

> You know your a stoner when you know the way to McDonald's like the back of your had, but cant remember where your stash is.


hahahaha that is so me


----------



## prostheticninja (Dec 31, 2010)

GreatwhiteNorth said:


> Shouldn't the widow be down when spitting gum out?


 yeah i meant up woops


----------



## pilgram (Dec 31, 2010)

prostheticninja said:


> yeah i meant up woops


stoner........


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Dec 31, 2010)

pilgram said:


> stoner........


I only caught it b/c I'm not stoned atm.


----------



## prostheticninja (Dec 31, 2010)

pilgram said:


> stoner........


 I was baked as all fuck when I was typing that. Then I put had instead of hand.


----------



## pilgram (Dec 31, 2010)

You know your a stoner when you spend New Years high and free instead of drunk and locked up.


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## IregAt420 (Jan 2, 2011)

pilgram said:


> You know your a stoner when you spend New Years high and free instead of drunk and locked up.


I did both....some of us are responsible enough to keep it simple. Drink some beer, shoot some shots...smoke some weed. Play video games and talk shit. Great night.


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## MASS97 (Jan 3, 2011)

Barrelhse said:


> You know you're a stoner if you registered at RIU and you're not a cop.


Uhm...You scare me.


----------



## Smoke Of Waitakere (Jan 3, 2011)

You know youre a stoner when youre too fucked to think of a punchline to this joke.


----------



## Sir. Gonzo (Jan 3, 2011)

If your already thinking about the next blunt, bong or vape as your in the middle of the current session. Classic stoner trait..


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## newbie71047 (Jan 3, 2011)

you know your a stoner when without even thinking about it you find yourself rolling up odd pieces of paper
like atm recipes, the sticker off the back of the lighter, etc... have done it on more than once..


----------



## newbie71047 (Jan 3, 2011)

you know your a stoner when on a walk you smell that sweet skunky smell and search for hours just to find a dead f$%king skunk and get pissed off


----------



## prostheticninja (Jan 3, 2011)

newbie71047 said:


> you know your a stoner when on a walk you smell that sweet skunky smell and search for hours just to find a dead f$%king skunk and get pissed off


 That was funny.


----------



## tharoomman (Jan 3, 2011)

doc111 said:


> .................or if you keep registering on grow forums under new aliases after being repeatedly banned (or maybe just mentally ill).


Hey, I've only been banned once.Not my fault though, I wason topic.


----------



## mr west (Jan 5, 2011)

wen u miss 4:20 cuz ya too stoned lol
ill smoke a 4;23 spliff instead lol


----------



## nonfakename (Jan 8, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when "Do you smoke?" becomes a hard question to answer, lol.


----------



## BiG PuFFer (Jan 8, 2011)

you know your a stoner when your at a bbq and after a few beers your busting out and smoking joints with ramdom people like your friends, brothers - girlfriends, uncle.lol


----------



## missnu (Jan 8, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you rush all your friends and family into the car and then get on the highway and turn back and say [email protected] Where are we going?!


----------



## missnu (Jan 8, 2011)

You also know you're a stoner When you lose your cell phone 10 mins after finding it for the 4th time that night.


----------



## snape (Jan 8, 2011)

you know when ur a stoner when your siting in class pretending to roll joints outta gum wrappers, and candy wrapers


----------



## Richard Smith (Jan 14, 2011)

You know your a stoner when your on the phone.. you panic and start looking for your phone but then you realise you have the phone in your hand couse the person on the line is laughing at you ¬_¬


----------



## VER D (Jan 14, 2011)

you know your a stoner when you forget shit on your lap n you look for it forever but dont find it till you stan up n falls on the floor uber stoner if u step on it or just dont notice it n your like hey it was under me the hole time


----------



## oOBe RyeOo (Jan 15, 2011)

VER D said:


> you know your a stoner when you forget shit on your lap n you look for it forever but dont find it till you stan up n falls on the floor uber stoner if u step on it or just dont notice it n your like hey it was under me the hole time


Been there


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## IregAt420 (Jan 16, 2011)

VER D said:


> you know your a stoner when you forget shit on your lap n you look for it forever but dont find it till you stan up n falls on the floor uber stoner if u step on it or just dont notice it n your like hey it was under me the hole time


Did this shit all the time. Bake in car, forget pipe on lap..step out and it falls lol.

Contribution: You know your a stoner if you smoke 2 joints....and then you smoke 2 more.


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## mr west (Jan 17, 2011)

when ur idea of multitasking is making 3 joints at once


----------



## madcatter (Jan 17, 2011)

You go from one room to other to get cup of tea... forget cup first 3 times....


----------



## wavey.mofo (Jan 20, 2011)

you know your a stoner if you cant remember what happened yesterday LOL


----------



## DaLeftHandMan (Jan 27, 2011)

....you handle fish emulsion and then go outside and smoke a cig without washing your hands X___x /bleaa!


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## IregAt420 (Jan 27, 2011)

Resin bowls

^^^Thats how you know


----------



## Eirin (Feb 3, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you know all the words to Friday, because you were already sitting down and smoking a joint before you popped in a different movie all summer...


----------



## smivvie (Feb 3, 2011)

When you're stood in Asda cursing at them for moving the fruit and veg section cos its no longer there...........and the nice shop assistant tells you its where its always been. Youre in Tescos.


----------



## wangyunan (Feb 3, 2011)

the 1st time I smoke weed, I was at my homie's house and after 1 hit he told me a joke, then I kept laughing the entire afternoon.
the next day I've already forgot what that joke was and why was it so funny, the only thing I could remember was that I laughed so hard cus my voice was hoarse, so I asked him how could I kept laughing for so long.
He told me that 2 mins after that hit I asked him what that joke was, and he was like "damn u already forgot?", then I started endless laughing and paused every few mins like: oh shit! I forgot what Im laughing at again, hahahaha......


----------



## mpm04 (Feb 3, 2011)

When you bring multiple lighters with you before a smoke sesh and still manage to lose them all.


----------



## vadge46 (Feb 5, 2011)

when you misplace every item you own


----------



## rogue^smoker (Feb 5, 2011)

when you put the kettle on, walk out and less than thirty seconds later forget why you went into the kitchen....even though you swear you can hear a whistlin noise. pass those cookies bro!


----------



## jessemartini (Feb 11, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if while looking at random objects, the question: "hmm.. could I smoke out of that???" pops in your head


----------



## carl.burnette (Feb 11, 2011)

You sit on the "bowl" smoking a bowl & forget to wipe. NOt noticing till later in the morning..

Enough said on THAT one 

Don't laugh. I KNOW you've all done it too!!


Or while on the bowl smoking a bowl you read the same damn article in your High Times mag 20 times & STILL not retain any of it! You can still enjoy the pictures though!


----------



## alek mager (Feb 12, 2011)

you know your a stoner when make special trips to the store for your cravings.
you know your a stoner when the bowls empty and your takin hits.
you know your a stoner when someone tosses a clip and you pick it up and make sure its beat.

mine r stupid. you know your a stoner when you cant think oof you know your a stoner jokes hahaha


----------



## IregAt420 (Feb 13, 2011)

I just ground up stems and put them with some resin.

Thats a new low to me lol.


----------



## rshorty (Feb 13, 2011)

jessemartini said:


> You know you're a stoner if while looking at random objects, the question: "hmm.. could I smoke out of that???" pops in your head


haha been there before


----------



## rshorty (Feb 13, 2011)

you know your a stoner when you watch the same episode of sportscenter 4 times and still can't remember who won most of the games.


----------



## malicifice (Feb 13, 2011)

When you use scolding hot clear eyes that have been you glove box all day.
The bottom of your lighter is black with ashes.


----------



## eLiNoX (Feb 14, 2011)

You know your a stoner when... You pack the bowl and hold it for a half hour before realizing you were planning on smoking again. Just happened to me


----------



## Irollfatties (Feb 14, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if you go to the kitchen four times because each time you forgot what you were getting in the first place....


----------



## dababydroman (Feb 14, 2011)

you kno your a stoner if you pop a set stay up drinking whisky all night.


----------



## dababydroman (Feb 14, 2011)

while smokeing dank, OOPS


----------



## VER D (Feb 14, 2011)

you kno your a stoner if u ever missed school cuz u were too busy smoking(my junior yr.)


----------



## Dizzle Frost (Feb 14, 2011)

you know your a stoner if your in mid sentence of a great story then ask your buddy what your were talking about

you know your a stoner when you make 4 trips up and down the stairs and keep forgetting what you went to get in the first place


----------



## SensiJimmy (Feb 23, 2011)

when you call someone on ur cell and when he or she answers u forgot what u were about to ask


----------



## Derple (Feb 23, 2011)

when you cant see you're hands because of all the smoke


----------



## a gr33n b0ng (Feb 24, 2011)

you know when your a stoner when you have your drug dealer on speed dial.


----------



## BeavTek (Mar 5, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you constantly think: "I can definitely make a bong out of that!!!"


----------



## tardis (Mar 5, 2011)

wait, what was the question?


----------



## VER D (Mar 5, 2011)

you know your a stoner whenever some hands you a paper and at some point you end up rolling that paper up like your bout to smoke it


----------



## keifcake (Mar 6, 2011)

you know your a stoner when you budget money for weed before you budget money for bills....


----------



## tricka (Mar 6, 2011)

SensiJimmy said:


> when you call someone on ur cell and when he or she answers u forgot what u were about to ask


Nah...... you definately are a stoner when you ring someone on the phone and as soon as they say hello' you forget who you just called......then there's that *awkward silence* of nothingness and you gotta admitt that you have no-idea who you called! ..........unless you reckonised their hello voice


----------



## Indicator (Mar 6, 2011)

You know you are a stoner if...
You could have sworn you bought milk, only to find it three days later, in the pantry, next to the canned goods.


----------



## elenor.rigby (Mar 6, 2011)

have done that alot. haha


----------



## Carl Spackler (Mar 6, 2011)

You go to the grocery store and the 4 kids in the car next to yours get out and they reek like the worst, scwaggy ditchweed ever. You casually mention to the driver that they need to find a better supplier...meaning me.


----------



## keifcake (Mar 6, 2011)

Indicator said:


> You know you are a stoner if...
> You could have sworn you bought milk, only to find it three days later, in the pantry, next to the canned goods.


Ha! Ive done sumin similar... MIxture of fire chronic and Xanax, found my milk 3 days later where the cereal is and the box of cereal in the fridge...


----------



## Indicator (Mar 6, 2011)

And I needed that milk, nothing better than a bowl of sweet cereal and ice-cold milk to cure the munchies, lol.


----------



## keifcake (Mar 6, 2011)

No shit... I remember at that time putting hersheys syrup on each spoonfull of cereal lol.... Dam i had the munchies... Havent since like that...


----------



## rollin in grass (Mar 6, 2011)

Damn you know your a stoner when you forget what you know your a stoner joke to write


----------



## kbo ca (Mar 6, 2011)

VER D said:


> you know your a stoner whenever some hands you a paper and at some point you end up rolling that paper up like your bout to smoke it


you know your a stoner if you write stupid shit like this tardsky


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Mar 6, 2011)

kbo ca said:


> you know your a stoner if you write stupid shit like this tardsky


You didn't add anything to the thread with that statement.
Negativity can be, well, negative which does no one any good.
You don't need to like what he said, but thats no reason to denigrate him.


----------



## nugbuckets (Mar 6, 2011)

you know your high, when at a Packer game, you go to take a drink of your beer, and pour it in your lap instead....cause you forgot one important thing....the lift up to your lips....that really happened....what can i say, the beginning of Hell's Bell's by AC/DC was playing, and it put my gerbil mind in a trance.


----------



## a mongo frog (Mar 6, 2011)

you know your a stoner if 

if your jerking off and realize your jerking off your friend........... OH sHit wrong thread sorry. this aint the gay thread ?


----------



## kbo ca (Mar 7, 2011)

GreatwhiteNorth said:


> You didn't add anything to the thread with that statement.
> Negativity can be, well, negative which does no one any good.
> You don't need to like what he said, but thats no reason to denigrate him.


common man no need to get butt hurt. I thought it was funny. You could totally tell this guy was blitzed out of his mind and thought it was the funniest thing on earth.


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Mar 7, 2011)

kbo ca said:


> You could totally tell this guy was blitzed out of his mind and thought it was the funniest thing on earth.


Nah still not funny, & you can read all of that into a 20-ish word post?


----------



## secretweapon (Mar 7, 2011)

If you plant a seed in a pot only to dig it up in 3 days to find its not there, Lol sorry Ollie! 

If your girlfriend complains that you smoke to much dank.


----------



## zoomcrzy45 (Mar 7, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you eat an entire bag of cheetos while in the shower. Then when I, your mom, asks "Honey why is there orange prints all over the shower and an empty cheetos bag?" And the answer is "I was hungry". 

Damn I love that kid! (Straight A high honors btw)


----------



## zoomcrzy45 (Mar 7, 2011)

Richard Smith said:


> You know your a stoner when your on the phone.. you panic and start looking for your phone but then you realise you have the phone in your hand couse the person on the line is laughing at you ¬_¬


Oh shit that is the worst cause its an all out panic!


----------



## kbo ca (Mar 7, 2011)

GreatwhiteNorth said:


> Nah still not funny, & you can read all of that into a 20-ish word post?


well your lame, get over it


----------



## bushybush (Mar 7, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you can't find the TV remote FOREVER......Then you go into your freezer to get some ice cubes and the remote is frozen to a bag of edamame. Sigh.


----------



## rollin in grass (Mar 7, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you gotta buy 3-5 new phones every month
When you spark the ash in your hookah lol


----------



## tardis (Mar 8, 2011)

zoomcrzy45 said:


> You know you're a stoner when you eat an entire bag of cheetos while in the shower. Then when I, your mom, asks "Honey why is there orange prints all over the shower and an empty cheetos bag?" And the answer is "I was hungry".
> 
> Damn I love that kid! (Straight A high honors btw)


That is hillarious! from now on i'll end sentences that begin with "I was so" with that because it means nothing but can be used to funnily describe anything.

"I was so angry i ate an entire bag of cheetos in the shower." "I was so happy i ate an entire bag of cheetos in the shower." "I was so horny i ate an entire bag of cheetos in the shower." 

Thats my new catchphrase!


----------



## VER D (Mar 8, 2011)

kbo ca said:


> you know your a stoner if you write stupid shit like this tardsky


 you must be an uber stoner then huh


----------



## smhsmichael (Mar 9, 2011)

I got a pic of a blunt I rolled out of brown paper bag, LOL i was desparate with no cigar

Lol. Thats a quote from from IgrowUgrow. Hahah made me laugh


----------



## FriendlyGuy (Mar 10, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you grab some weed and forget that you were going to roll up a joint :]


----------



## FriendlyGuy (Mar 10, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you look at brownies or hear the word Edible you think Pot :]


----------



## FM420 (Mar 10, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you set down a few bags of crisps and other munchies for later on, go to grab them a while later and realize your halfway through eating them


----------



## IregAt420 (Mar 10, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you say, "ok, just one hit for now"

Next thing you know you've done 6 bong rips, and 6 spoon rips. Not to mention the joint being passed around.


----------



## GreatwhiteNorth (Mar 10, 2011)

IregAt420 said:


> You know your a stoner when you say, "ok, just one hit for now"
> 
> Next thing you know you've done 6 bong rips, and 6 spoon rips. Not to mention the joint being passed around.


I can't tell you how many times I've said "I'm good for now" while I'm lighting the J.
Its all good !


----------



## Dizzle Frost (Mar 10, 2011)

GreatwhiteNorth said:


> I can't tell you how many times I've said "I'm good for now" while I'm lighting the J.
> Its all good !


 LOL its the demise of most stoners out there


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## kricket53 (Mar 10, 2011)

you know your a stoner if youve ever left your phone in the fridge. i have.


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## smhsmichael (Mar 10, 2011)

Lol so get this. Im in my supply chain class, and my professor is talking about cargo holding units that go on semi trucks. Well aparently the industry jargon for those is "reefers"! Lol no joke. So then my professor does off for 5 minutes talking about reefers and saying shit like "reefers come in 20 and 40 foot sizes" and "Ive even seen reefers get as large as 53 feet." Lmao! And of course I was baked, so this shit had me giggling lol.


----------



## zoomcrzy45 (Mar 10, 2011)

tardis said:


> That is hillarious! from now on i'll end sentences that begin with "I was so" with that because it means nothing but can be used to funnily describe anything.
> 
> "I was so angry i ate an entire bag of cheetos in the shower." "I was so happy i ate an entire bag of cheetos in the shower." "I was so horny i ate an entire bag of cheetos in the shower."
> 
> Thats my new catchphrase!


Well I'm honored that we gave you a new catchphrase. Lol, happy smokin! z


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## GreatwhiteNorth (Mar 10, 2011)

smhsmichael said:


> Lol so get this. Im in my supply chain class, and my professor is talking about cargo holding units that go on semi trucks. Well aparently the industry jargon for those is "reefers"! Lol no joke. So then my professor does off for 5 minutes talking about reefers and saying shit like "reefers come in 20 and 40 foot sizes" and "Ive even seen reefers get as large as 53 feet." Lmao! And of course I was baked, so this shit had me giggling lol.


In military vernacular, particularly the sea going services, refrigerators & even freezers are called reefers.
Just the way it is.


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## jesusfeet (Mar 16, 2011)

Right then....
Since this is my first post, I believe it makes sense that I should share a story about the first time I got high. My best friend and I had just come inside from our little excursion and were performing what I have come to call "mandatory cleanup procedures" when the bud hit me. For the first time in my life, I washed my face, brushed my teeth, showered, and (for some reason) shaved while high, and I thought I had been holding together rather well, having only burst into uncontrollable laughter maybe a half-dozen times. It was when I laid back on the bed to apply eyedrops that I began to perceive any issues with motor function, or, more accurately, sensory function that caused motor impairment. See, as I began to apply the liquid redness relief, I slipped into a state of "what the hell is going on where am I and what's so funny" and began laughing uncontrollably. Of course, this happened just as I had positioned the eyedropper approximately above my eye and had already begun squeezing. Temporarily unaware of what was happening, I continued squeezing the drops ever harder because I thought that nothing was coming out. Once I had regained some lucidity, I realized that I had squeezed the ENTIRE bottle onto the area surrounding my eye like the happy stoned retard that I was (and still am). So I spent the rest of the night with one bloodshot eye and one freakishly white one. The end.


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## IregAt420 (Mar 16, 2011)

Awesome first post! And welcome to RIU!


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## redivider (Mar 17, 2011)

you know your a stoner if you climb the 30ft ladder and notice you forgot the pliers......


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## FriendlyGuy (Mar 17, 2011)

IregAt420 said:


> Awesome first post! And welcome to RIU!


lmao hey! you said the same to me so heres one for you, Awesome support! keep it up in RIU! xP


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## FriendlyGuy (Mar 17, 2011)

You Know your a stoner when your tire pops and you dont Give a fuck! xD


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## secretweapon (Mar 17, 2011)

Hey op. Are you really the YouTube user hashbean420 or some random dude?


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## JerseyEddie (Mar 18, 2011)

When you look down at your coffe table and there's a shredded bag of Chips A Hoy & you got cotton mouth and.... What was I talking about again????


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## VER D (Mar 18, 2011)

if gettin high for 4:20 is a top priority


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## AussieSesher420 (Mar 20, 2011)

when you smoke a half smoked joint/blunt, then u put ur joint/blunt down to drink something to sooth ur KM, then turn around and start rolling some more to smoke then after your sober u wake up and notice you have a pile of half smoked joints on your room desk

hope that was funny


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## VER D (Mar 20, 2011)

AussieSesher420 said:


> when you smoke a half smoked joint/blunt, then u put ur joint/blunt down to drink something to sooth ur KM, then turn around and start rolling some more to smoke then after your sober u wake up and notice you have a pile of half smoked joints on your room desk
> 
> hope that was funny


FAIL im jus playin but really doe FAIL


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## AussieSesher420 (Mar 20, 2011)

DUDE thats fucking retarded but soooo funnny mann


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## AussieSesher420 (Mar 20, 2011)

so wait? was it funny or not haha


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## rollin in grass (Mar 20, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you plan for 420 two months before it


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## VER D (Mar 21, 2011)

AussieSesher420 said:


> so wait? was it funny or not haha


 i dont kno let me go back and read it high


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## Badbrain (Mar 21, 2011)

....when you put the milk cap in the cabinet that the glass came from and can't find the milk cap for 20 mins.....


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## VER D (Mar 21, 2011)

Badbrain said:


> ....when you put the milk cap in the cabinet that the glass came from and can't find the milk cap for 20 mins.....


 haha ive done this before except it was in my pocket and didn't find till a day later


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## smhsmichael (Mar 25, 2011)

rollin in grass said:


> You know your a stoner when you plan for 420 two months before it


Lol so true. That's exactly where I'm at. Im just finishing up plans and setting aside my dankest for that day haha


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## WeeGogs (Mar 26, 2011)

two stoners go for a job interview as labourers on a building site, the first stoner goes in, and the interviewer looks at his droopy looks and asks, "hi, if you can give me a sentence with the word good in it you can start in the morning", the stoner thinks then says, "i own a blue duffle coat and when i wear it i feel really really good", the interviewer replies " start in the morning, and send the next man in" 
the first stoner says to his mate in the lobby, "tell him you own a blue duffle coat and when you wear it you feel really really good and he will start you" "ok" said the second stoner and he enters the room and sits down, the interviewer looks at his droopy looks and asks "hi, if you can give me a sentence with the word fascinate in it you can start in the morning" the stoner thinks and says " i own a blue duffle coat and when i wear it i feel really really good, it has 9 buttons on it with one button missing and i can only fasten eight".


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## smhsmichael (Mar 26, 2011)

AussieSesher420 said:


> when you smoke a half smoked joint/blunt, then u put ur joint/blunt down to drink something to sooth ur KM, then turn around and start rolling some more to smoke then after your sober u wake up and notice you have a pile of half smoked joints on your room desk
> 
> hope that was funny


Haha funny.


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## Dizzle Frost (Mar 26, 2011)

when you screw in the lightbulb to see WTF yur doing while seting up your flowering room..then forget to unscrew it becuase your pasted and happy you finished ...i did this !


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## rollin in grass (Mar 27, 2011)

When you pass out from smokin at night, then wake up in the morning mad that you passed out and didnt enjoy your high, then roll up another one


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## esc420211 (Mar 27, 2011)

When u come home so high that someone thinks ur drunk
if you wonder if god allows ppl to smoke in heaven and the thought of him not scares the 
shit outta u


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## VER D (Mar 29, 2011)

AussieSesher420 said:


> when you smoke a half smoked joint/blunt, then u put ur joint/blunt down to drink something to sooth ur KM, then turn around and start rolling some more to smoke then after your sober u wake up and notice you have a pile of half smoked joints on your room desk
> 
> hope that was funny


haha yea it makes more sense high


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## VER D (Mar 29, 2011)

esc420211 said:


> When u come home so high that someone thinks ur drunk
> if you wonder if god allows ppl to smoke in heaven and the thought of him not scares the
> shit outta u


 you know your a stoner if you understand what this dude is saying


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## growinthedesert (Mar 30, 2011)

you know your a stoner if you type weed instead of wood. I did that on youtube.


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## smhsmichael (Mar 30, 2011)

growinthedesert said:


> you know your a stoner if you type weed instead of wood. I did that on youtube.


Were you the guy who posted the "Check Out My Morning Weed" video??


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## growinthedesert (Apr 2, 2011)

no thats not me. I posted a comment on a vid about how to make a knife sheath. but can you send me that link sounds like a funny video.

also + rep for being funny!!!!


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## tmf (Apr 3, 2011)

LOVE IT! Cause it's TRUE!


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## Ken3531 (Apr 3, 2011)

TRUE STORY: I got a buddy who works at my local grow store and once he noticed something on the floor. He walks up and realized that a customer dropped their piece! You know you're a stoner when you loose your pipe at the local grow store lol


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## Jesushasdreads (Apr 6, 2011)

you know you're a stoner if the smell of skunk roadkill excites you. you know you're a stoner if you have a cat named nugz. you know you're a stoner if your electric bill doubled when you put in your garden. you know your a stoner if you spent more on you bong than your family last christmas. you know you're a stoner if you've ever lit the wrong end of a cigarette. you know your a stoner if you have ever seen someone rolling a cigarette and looked twice to make sure it wasn't a joint. you know you'e a stoner if the lady at the gas station knows when you walk in the door what blunt wrap you want. you know your a stoner if you make your own hempwick. you know your a stoner if you ever slowed down because you thought the old man in the white crown victoria behind you was an unmarked cop car.

Edit: so i was smoking at 4:20am and recalled one more i forgot because im a stoner.... if you all of a sudden check the time because you think its close to 4 :20 then come to find the time is 4:10 you pack up a fresh bong then check again at 4:15 and 4:18 then get sidetracked and dont check the time again until 4:21 and are upset with yourself for missing 4:20.


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## Ivraan (Apr 6, 2011)

You know your a stoner if you go upstairs to go the bathroom to pee, brush your teeth instead go downstairs and realize you still have to pee. Lol just happened


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## smhsmichael (Apr 6, 2011)

Ivraan said:


> You know your a stoner if you go upstairs to go the bathroom to pee, brush your teeth instead go downstairs and realize you still have to pee. Lol just happened


Lol soo true. Im always forgetting shit when I'm high


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## rollin in grass (Apr 6, 2011)

You know your a stoner if you 

Noob version:
practice you roll game with oregano 

Pro version:
when you dont have to roll to a whole song no more lol its just roll, lick, light, puff


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## Crexonz (Apr 6, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you hit the wall twice running to get some pop tarts and see your cat laughing at you... (didn't happen to me, someone else posted that here lol)


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## IregAt420 (Apr 6, 2011)

You know your a stoner when you go put job applications in.....stoned.

-of course these are fast food jobs, so no worries.


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## smhsmichael (Apr 6, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when you buy Clear Eyes Maximum Redness Relief when the store is out of Rohto's


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## smokebros (Apr 6, 2011)

I have smoked marijuana all but 20 days or so in the last 8 years.. I sir, am the definition of stoner. I'm almost 23.


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## Birdyboy (Apr 7, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if you get too lazy to finish your own grow journal :') shameful i know.


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## esc420211 (Apr 9, 2011)

dude its not on youtube anymore i cant find it


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## smhsmichael (Apr 10, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if you smoke on ur lunch break...even though you already smoked before work lol


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## tmf (Apr 11, 2011)

Jesushasdreads said:


> you know you're a stoner if the smell of skunk roadkill excites you. you know you're a stoner if you have a cat named nugz. you know you're a stoner if your electric bill doubled when you put in your garden. you know your a stoner if you spent more on you bong than your family last christmas. you know you're a stoner if you've ever lit the wrong end of a cigarette. you know your a stoner if you have ever seen someone rolling a cigarette and looked twice to make sure it wasn't a joint. you know you'e a stoner if the lady at the gas station knows when you walk in the door what blunt wrap you want. you know your a stoner if you make your own hempwick. you know your a stoner if you ever slowed down because you thought the old man in the white crown victoria behind you was an unmarked cop car.
> 
> Edit: so i was smoking at 4:20am and recalled one more i forgot because im a stoner.... if you all of a sudden check the time because you think its close to 4 :20 then come to find the time is 4:10 you pack up a fresh bong then check again at 4:15 and 4:18 then get sidetracked and dont check the time again until 4:21 and are upset with yourself for missing 4:20.


 Oh My, Ive done all of these...oh well, I'd rather be a stoner than be in marketing and demographics. kiss-ass
Reading all these threads has been like a walk down memory lane... won't claim to be #1 stoner here... it's just that I've been one for 35 years, 19 years plants have been growin' where the sun makes it's way through the cracks in the wall.


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## dokebi (Apr 17, 2011)

You know you're a stoner...if you think everybody else should smoke.


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## VER D (Apr 17, 2011)

you know your a stoner when you go look for a pack of papers and end up find a whole different pack


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## Dizzle Frost (Apr 18, 2011)

if yur xbox controller is as sticky as yur stash jar


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## smhsmichael (Apr 19, 2011)

you know you're a stoner when this is the lineup of your open tabs on your web browser: RUI, photobucket account with all your grow journal pics, growledhydro.com, and the webpage of your local hydro shop. lol

hopefully that made sense haha


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## indecline (Apr 19, 2011)

you know your a stoner when.......when...when. who? oh yeah i have those cookies somewhere. what time is it? wow that late........ what was i doing, something good im sure i was exited about it before?...


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## VER D (Apr 26, 2011)

you know your a stoner when you cant feel your feet


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## Derple (May 3, 2011)

i have actually done that before


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## Derple (May 3, 2011)

you know your a stoner if . . . uhhhh . . . i forgot


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## smhsmichael (May 3, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when normal things make you think about weed and growing.

Example- So I'm in line at the post office this morning and see an envelope weighing scale for sale, and I think to myself "I wonder if that scale is better than the one I have??" Lol. 

It did seem easier to weigh larger amounts tho...lol


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## rollin in grass (May 3, 2011)

if everything you draw has a joint in its mouth


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## Derple (May 11, 2011)

what if its a bucket that you're drawing?


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## Derple (May 11, 2011)

or a cactus?


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## rollin in grass (May 11, 2011)

the cactus would be smoking then


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## rollin in grass (May 11, 2011)

who the [email protected]#k draws cactus anyway lol buckets for that matter


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## IregAt420 (May 11, 2011)

Derple said:


> what if its a bucket that you're drawing?


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

and THATS how you know....


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## grizzy (May 13, 2011)

drg0nzo said:


> ....you've been idiling at the stop sign for 10 minutes, waiting for it to turn green.
> 
> Been there.


I feel like an idiot every time I do.... at least once a week

and I always end up at a Mcdrive thru every time I get high


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## Hash Rash (May 13, 2011)

You know you are a stoner if you have seen all of HashBean420's vids, and smoke hella nug while you watch!


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## bicycleday (May 13, 2011)

when the pizza delivery guy rocks up and not one of you remember ordering them...


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## jason7305 (May 13, 2011)

I'm a cigarette smoker also so.........
You know you're a stoner when you light a cigarette, upon having it lit in your hand notice one burning in front of you in the ashtray and also ones in your mouth ready to light...............................


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## GidgetGrows (May 13, 2011)

You know your a stoner if... you forget where you hide your "secret stash" when you run out.


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## secretweapon (May 14, 2011)

If you have a back pack that holds your 3' bong...


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## bicycleday (May 14, 2011)

If you have local kids show up on your doorstep selling overpriced fundraising chocolates and you buy all they have remaining for double you could get them at the supermarket

Just happened to me about 5hrs ago


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## Fragglepops (May 14, 2011)

If you've got an ashtray in yr living room,your bedroom,beside the bath and the kitchen all with partially smoked j's in them and you're so busy rolling another one that you've forgotten about all the other ones that you 'laid down' to do summat stoopid like make 8 nutella sandwiches..............just everyday life in me and my good ladies house........you know it's bad when between 4 ashtrays thers' 12 to 13 unsmoked Bifters in them an yr rollin another one! Who said it affects your short term memory.......load of loose stool water!


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## lolmann (May 14, 2011)

Island of tautoga


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## ttaaee (May 15, 2011)

GermanFarmer said:


> You know your a stoner when your snack budget is higher than your grocery budget.
> MUNCHIE time!


haha so true. mine is always higher than my actual grocery budget.


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## i<3 (May 17, 2011)

Fragglepops said:


> If you've got an ashtray in yr living room,your bedroom,beside the bath and the kitchen all with partially smoked j's in them and you're so busy rolling another one that you've forgotten about all the other ones that you 'laid down' to do summat stoopid like make 8 nutella sandwiches..............just everyday life in me and my good ladies house........you know it's bad when between 4 ashtrays thers' 12 to 13 unsmoked Bifters in them an yr rollin another one! Who said it affects your short term memory.......load of loose stool water!


NUTELLA !!!


when you have bowls (eating bowls) everywhere filled with ashes and still manage to look for your fucking ashtray....


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## rollin in grass (May 17, 2011)

if you get a job just to buy weed
if you have an account on riu
if your one of those people that draw marijuana fan leaves on bathroom walls


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## dannyboy602 (May 17, 2011)

U begin ur work day after a wake and bake and breakfast at a local diner. Read the paper, post a few diddies on RIU and before u know it it's time for my 10:00 break... I'm a slacker


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## rollin in grass (May 18, 2011)

when you dont have look at your joint when your pulling your joint to see if your joint is burning no more
when you dont have to smoke cigs no more to get high with your schwag weed lol growers know what im talking bout 
when you get blazjed just to write a good you know if your a stoner joke


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## BlondeBabe420 (May 23, 2011)

...........when you only buy dutches for one reason. and it isnt to smoke it.


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## smokajoe (May 23, 2011)

You have a glass collection valued at the price of a used car...........


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## smhsmichael (May 23, 2011)

smokajoe said:


> You have a glass collection valued at the price of a used car...........


Haha hell ya


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## mccumcumber (May 24, 2011)

You find about zip after you clean up your house.


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## HighLowGrow (May 24, 2011)

When you jump on your riding lawn mower and don't care if you run over dog shit or your kids shoes.

-HLG


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## Herpinderp (May 25, 2011)

when you smoke a joint then go to light a cigarette and smoke it for a couple of minutes before you finally realize you lit the cigarette backwards.


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## ShadyStoner (May 27, 2011)

you burn all you nose hair trying to relight the smallest roach possible

can't waste any


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## grokillaz (May 28, 2011)

When you have a massive roach collection and never time to smoke it cuz you always have bud. Or when your eyes are always so red that whenever people see you sober and white eyed they ask if your ok.


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## Brian11543 (May 28, 2011)

best thing I ever saw was my old neighbor, was a nice guy but a TOTAL stoner. He stopped by one night to catch a buzz and his wife was with him. We smoked a bit and she had to leave, maybe an hour later (after she had left) he looks around dumbfounded and asks me, "where'd Cheryl go?" maybe one of those you had to be there things but at the time it was hilarious.


----------



## ChairmanMaow (May 28, 2011)

When you can't make complete, legible sentences.


----------



## TheDude0007 (May 28, 2011)

When you realise you have never owned this many fan's in your life!


----------



## Craik (Jun 14, 2011)

You know You´re a stoner when you´ve been planning to smoke for the past hour but got sidetracked on this thread.


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## cannawizard (Jun 14, 2011)

instead of you saying "im hungry," ..its now replaced with "i got the munchies"


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## 0011StealTH (Jun 14, 2011)

if your cotton mouth.


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## Farfenugen (Jun 14, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when...

...that bacon and peanut butter sandwich tastes really good

...you can walk into any garden center and easily explain to the people working there why the azaleas are weak-stemmed, the gypsophylium seems a bit short and the underside of one orchid flower has an obvious mite problem, all without ever realising why

...you're suddenly a genius at math for calculating how much 7.658 grams goes into a baggy

...it takes you 45 minutes to find your house on Google Earth


----------



## Shannon Alexander (Jun 18, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if you find the weed you lost. In your pillow after sleeping on it for a month having hid it there when you left your housemate alone when you went on vacation, all the while cursing him out under your breath since you got back for being a dirty thief...


----------



## Farfenugen (Jun 18, 2011)

You know you're a stoner...

If you walk out of the supermarket with a bag filled with baby food, pistachio nuts, M&M's and whipped cream


----------



## MixedMelodyMindBender (Jun 18, 2011)

Craik said:


> You know You´re a stoner when you´ve been planning to smoke for the past hour but got sidetracked on this thread.


Literally just happened to me. I have had the bong loaded for over 45 minutes but I get stuck reading. Thanks for the reminder to get some fire in the hole 

You know your stoned when ya forget that your actually fekin stoned  Which also tends to make you forget that you want to smoke more


----------



## mescalinebandit420 (Jun 22, 2011)

you know your a stoner when a cop passes u by and looks back cause you smell like a pound.


----------



## 420dro (Jun 22, 2011)

when you drop a roach in a water filter :L ...

(yeah that actually happened ) Peace.


----------



## 420greendream (Jun 26, 2011)

u know ur a stoner when u only have $10 and ur starving but u choose to get a dime instead.


----------



## NevaSmokedOut (Jun 26, 2011)

... you order pizza and forget one is in the oven.


----------



## bicycleday (Jun 27, 2011)

...you are constantly batting off to 420 girls


----------



## Joe Pineapples (Jun 27, 2011)

When you cant be arsed to turn the tv over cos you cant be arsed to get the remote.........and its in your lap..............


----------



## Bonghostage (Jun 27, 2011)

when you walk 2 miles to the 24 hour tesco cause it's half 3 in the morning and you finished all the fucking bacon


----------



## Blue Wizard (Jun 27, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if... You call your sister on the phone and ask her to come over and fix you something to eat because you don't want to get off the couch.


----------



## thump easy (Jun 27, 2011)

your a stoner if u washed ur sac of weed n u find it in your pant pocket n still smoke it anyways.!


----------



## JMain (Jun 27, 2011)

...you can't tell where your stereo music is coming from


----------



## VER D (Jun 28, 2011)

you kno your a stoner when everything becomes a bong


----------



## londonfog (Jun 28, 2011)

...when you're about to comment on a thread but forgot what the topic is


----------



## Thundakat85 (Jul 1, 2011)

You know you're a stoner when it takes you 20 minutes to type a 108 letter reply to this thread because you were counting the letters.


----------



## dannyboy602 (Jul 1, 2011)

i know im a stoner
it says so right next to my name to remind me


----------



## Thundakat85 (Jul 1, 2011)

dannyboy602 said:


> i know im a stoner
> it says so right next to my name to remind me


 Touche' good sir


----------



## thump easy (Jul 2, 2011)

you know ur a stoner wen u leave n forget that u left the fucken water running n resovors fucken floods hahahahaha


----------



## thump easy (Jul 2, 2011)

you know ur a stoner when u dam i forgot im not kidding


----------



## thump easy (Jul 2, 2011)

u know ur a stoner n your window claters becasue of the big deseils trucks maken your window shake n u stick a bud in the window so it would stop maken that noise n u for get about it six month down the line you open your window cuz its summer n u just relized the bud falls out n u remember and laugh about it n u smoke it anyways....


----------



## Dislexicmidget2021 (Jul 5, 2011)

You know your a stoner when u fall asleep with yur hand in a box of lucky charms then dream about the toy prize in the cereal being a glove made out of weed.


----------



## xKuroiTaimax (Jul 5, 2011)

bicycleday said:


> ...you are constantly batting off to 420 girls


The marijuana modelling group? I'm in that! X3

You know you're a stoner if you used your train ticket home as roach paper *facepalms at self*


----------



## high|hgih (Jul 6, 2011)

You KNOW your a stoner if you actively post on RIU and totally forgot the whole situation with the meth plant guy, even though that was the funniest shit I remember that xD


----------



## high|hgih (Jul 6, 2011)

> You know you're a stoner if you used your train ticket home as roach paper *facepalms at self*


Once as a kid, we were rolling joints, and used THE TITLE TO HIS DADS CORVETTE. We were so fucking high LOL I just remembered that! 

I've NEVER seen a parent NOT resist to beat the fuck out of his kid in front of his friends. We all watched THAT beat down lol


----------



## htx23 (Aug 1, 2011)

you know your a stoner when u say i need an ounce.. instead of saying i need to take a shit!!! lol... that happened to me yesterday!! Foreal no bs..


----------



## cannawizard (Aug 1, 2011)

* you know your a stoner... 

when you get in your car, then remember you forgot something, then when you go and grab it.. you F'n forget what you were trying to get in-the-1st-place... hahaha


----------



## nonfakename (Aug 2, 2011)

This one just came to me, yes, baked, and it rymes too, but it's a little, eh, blue.

"You know you're a Stoner... If you Smoke while you Bone her!" 

Bam! Chew on that, world!


----------



## Farfenugen (Aug 2, 2011)

You know you're a stoner if...

it takes you five minutes to re-read the question,
ten minutes to come up with a witty quote,
8 minutes to make a cheetos sandwich,
30 seconds to answer the phone, hang up and realise it was your parents coming home,
and another 20 minutes to run back to the computer after napping on the toilet and just figuring
out that you left the page on the screen just as the front door is opening


----------



## SmokesLikeBob (Aug 4, 2011)

You knoqw you're a stoner if your Grandma's bibles missing some pages.


----------



## elduece (Aug 4, 2011)

when you forget to exhale.


----------



## cannawizard (Aug 4, 2011)

SmokesLikeBob said:


> You knoqw you're a stoner if your Grandma's bibles missing some pages.


* haha.. cant stop laughing.. i remember getting caught with my cousin in highschool doing that, ...ah goodtimes


----------



## tardis (Aug 4, 2011)

When you think cookies taste funny when there is no weed in them.


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## tardis (Aug 4, 2011)

Your smoking a bongload simply because you are not sure if you just smoked one a moment ago or not.


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## cannawizard (Aug 4, 2011)

----when you just ate breakfast, then you WnB.. then bam, your raiding the fridge again, ..now my stomach hurts from eating too much , lolz


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## nonfakename (Aug 5, 2011)

When a missing Bic lighter becomes a fun mystery to solve, that everyone can join in on, instead of just a casual annoyance that people might just brush off and buy a new one later. 

Double stoner points awarded if that lighter is for rez rips/bong scrapings. 

Gold Star if you then lose the bowl after finding the lighter. 

(dictated, but not read.)


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