Great Stoner Quotes

Whilst trying to reverse a 40 foot canal boat out of a yard with other boats EVERYWHERE, I was stoned as fuck and had 9 people shouting at me cos i was doing it all wrong.

"FUCKING SHUT UP YOUR MAKING ME NERVOUS!"

while walking through a field after blazing, came across a large puddle

"holy shit! it's a river!"

stared at it for about a minute, amazed, then realized everyone else had already passed it and was leaving

you had to be there

Last weekend:

Friend: "Shit, man, I don't feel good, man. I feel like those cars, man...those cars be creapin'. Like, they be creapin'.

Me: And what's gonna happen if they see us, man? Jack shit.

Friend: Naw, man. We're gonna be in trouble (in a sing-song voice).

Me: (stereotypical slave voice) We gonna be in whole HEAPS of trouble!

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

Solstice07 said:

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

Click to expand...

The weather is here, wish you were beautiful.

how, high are you?

ALX420 said:

how, high are you?

Click to expand...

haha


super, im high!

Who is known as 'high'?

*chillin in a hotboxed car when a song comes on the radio*
This is the only way my friend was able to voice his distaste for the song(wish i could remember the song):
"This song is like big clumps of grass."

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

okay i dont have a quote but i got a story. okay so i was smoking out my bro and our blunt was at a roach and i had my third finger just hanging on the cherry for like 10 seconds and i couldnt feel it then my brother looked at me and said "if you dont take your finger off that it will start on fire" the statement isnt funny but you should have seen his face.

I bought a new computer so I could reboot faster.

-"Access to Medical Marijuana should be a Right not a Fight!"
-Scott H. Day R.I.P. 2008

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!"(screams an angry man in traffic)
"Now theres something i'd like to see"( me to my buddy)

"EWWWW, biblical buttsex"

"look dude, thats the door. when you go through it, you're in another room.. do you know what the means man? DO YOU? it means you just changed habitats, like the little bunny rabbit at the stream"

my friend said this while i was recording us takin hits from the bong in his garage

funny ass episode of homer on weed coming home from work all baked and walk into the next room and says, "What!?!?...
WE HAVE A KITCHEN!!!!" (simpsons did it)

heres one i made up 30 years ago"whats my name were's my lunch box"i used to be so out of it come mourning.

anybody seen the movie gummo? there are a ton of funny quotes in that one.

"Just let a niggah drink his drank niggah!"

monkey
from evil bong