Great Stoner Quotes

my dad usta tell me //'' by the time you go and come, i already dun came and left!"

one small toke for man, and one small toke for mankind

(of a blackberry plant)
wow, this leaf is real furry. feel it!

okay,

me and 3 other friends just sitting there chillin waiting for our 2 bowls to really hit home

and my one friends stands up

he goes on for a good 45 minutes about (keep in mind he was just fucking around) being in nam and fighting all the niggers with civil war guns in the marijuana bushes in he accent of uncle grandfather from perfect hair forever

laughing our asses off

he stops, sits down and relaxes

pause


"you guys, i think im high.." in this worried tone

soooo fucking funny laughed forever

it was fucking great, wish i taped it lmao

Ahh stoner quotes...

A favorite around here is to get really really really stoned, and then..

"This must be what stupid people feel like..."

Or if its a really silly high my husband threatens to record our enlightened comments to listen to them when we're sober..just to hear ourselves being stupid...

I say no..I don't want to hear myself when I'm sober..

20 years ago they smoked columbian gold

today we packin skunk in that columbian fold

i wish i was kickin in the 80's

i heard the weed was fucking awesome

and cheap

Meee and my friends a couple months back where smoking down some skunk, tasted like anus... ut man did it pacl a punch... the 4 of us... we was riding down the road.. when we started pakin the 4th bowl my friend is like stop the car!

stop the fucking car!

he gets out and runs off the road... starts screaming "why god, WHY!"

he slowly get back in.. we all lookin at him like what the fuck... he sais "we are out of weed..." then the little one sais...

"but wait... we have seeds... and within every seed... theres alittle bit of weed!"

so we smoked 20 seeds... fuking stupid... lol...

my buddy( a stoner) was working at a pizza place that has three phone lines. One night they basically all rang at once. he grabbed the 1st one-"thank you for calling Pops pizza can you please hold", he then grabbed the 2nd ringing line- "thank you for calling Pops pizza can you please hold" he said again. Same thing on the 3rd line. Now with all 3 lines on hold, he went back to the 1st phone that rang, took it off hold and said "thank you for helping can I hold you?....ahhh...I mean...." LMFAO

haha, thats a great one growing!

Still funny to this day. A true classic in the pizza biz.

TheJollyBrother said:

Anyone ever had the situation where no one has a lighter and yet everyone started with one.....and after 10 minutes of searching someone ends up having six in their pockets?

Click to expand...

oh fuck ya that happens haha glad to know it happens to others lol its 8:39 am here im rippin the bong

"Holland isnt a country, its a state of mind"

[i was once so high i mean so high


my teacher came to my house to tell my mother i was coming to school high and when she walk in the door i said



HIGH u doing

in stead of how you doing i was so busted the old days i miss

check out my grow please leave coment

My grandfather shakes uncontrollably and being a good grandson I made him a special tin of brownies. He ate one and spent the whole time after speaking in yiddish to me. Who the fuck knows yiddish haha

The final outcome of any endeavor will be painted by the motives present at its origin.

I was at a party one time and we rode bicycles home from there. As we were riding home one guy was playing an acoustic guitar while riding a bicycle. 10 minutes after we got home I says to him
"Dude, if jesus knew, how to play the guitar, and if jesus had a guitar, you would be jesus."