Great Stoner Quotes

rickymac21

Well-Known Member
hahaha. this is funny stuff.... well might as well share... we were at a buddies house. just smoked like 4 bowls of some decent bud... anyways.. me n my buddy were watching some comedian and he looks at me and says "dude, i have no idea what he's saying, but its the funniest shit in my life" hahaha. we were laughing so hard we cried and abs were on fire...good times
 

mrfloaty

Well-Known Member
easy guys loving some of the quotes i was sitting with some people chillin and one of the lasses said in the middle of the conversation "anyway, i am more intelagent when i am stoned" Fuck me did everyone laugh,

and one i like " i am not tired i am just stoned"...........
 

420Wizard

Member
So a few weeks back, there we're like five or six of there smoking 4g of some really nice hydro, when the dude who's holding it, Ben, hold the lighter in his mouth by the bottom and just sits there holding the pipe. No-one notices, so eventually I decide to speak up and get the bowl going again. The way he had the lighter in his mouth kinda made me think of a turtle (shh I was high) and then I just messed up the words "take a toke".....

So the final result was everyone sitting around, being baked and having their own conversations ignoring me and ben for the most part, so I, without warning, exclaim loudly the words "Someone tell that turtle man to cook a coke...." to be followed by .........."WHAT!?" "Oh I uh.. I mean take a toke."


Had two people on the floor with laughter
 

tuffles

Well-Known Member
Some welsh people i know were having a smoke round mine when one of them points to a pair of sneakers on the floor and exclaims ' who's shoes dem trainers'
 

Stardust

Member
Haha I have so many....just gotta remember them :roll:

So I was high and eating some frosting. My sis and Em wanted some, so I let them have some. They each dipped in with their index fingers and ate some. Then they went to do it again and I was like, "Whoa! Not with those fingers, you just like molested them."
And they were like, "Fine!" And flashed another finger at me.
But they actually flipped me off, at the same time without even knowing it haha. Idk, to us it was a totally badass moment.

"Dudes....I'm Baked Alaska...." Referring to how high I was

My sister, Em, and I were trying to split our last Mike 'N Ike three ways so we could all have a little and Em just blurted out, "That's not a starfish man, you can't split it any way you want."

Good times :mrgreen:
 

Stardust

Member
Wait I have some more.

So it was my turn to get greens finally, but we didn't have a full bowl pack of greens left, so they gave me these half burnt nugs. So I took the bong and was like, "These are nice greens guys, they're all burnt and shit." My sis and Em almost died laughing, but I was being dead serious.

Em: "Dude I thought we were talking about people's ribcages!"

And then, after not talking for a while, "For the last two minutes....I had nothing to say!" Me and my sis just started laughing at Em. Everything's just so much more funny when you're stoned :mrgreen:
 

SJV

Active Member
I was pretty much high as a kite the once, and i was sitting in a field near mine. Now i was lying on my back just chilling, watching the clouds go by, appreciating the high. Some clouds then proceeded to roll by that had flat bottoms (anyone seen these? Pretty cool) and I'd never seen them before so i stood up and announced "The Clouds Are Flat, The End Of The World Is Nigh!"
I guess you had to be there :bigjoint:
 

vlokdog

Active Member
Hey guys, Just looked at top 10 marijuana quotes on bakedlife.

There some real goodies!

Peace

10. "Even if one takes every reefer madness allegation of the prohibitionists at face value, marijuana prohibition has done far more harm to far more people than marijuana ever could."- William F. Buckley Jr.



9. "Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg, Clarence Thomas and Bill Clinton." - Jay Leno



8. "I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast" - Ronald Reagan

7. "The drug is really quite a remarkably safe one for humans, although it is really quite a dangerous one for mice and they should not use it." - J.W.D Henderson Director of the Bureau of Human Drugs, Health and Welfare, Canada

6. "Casual drug users should be taken out and shot" Darryl Gates Head of Los Angeles Police Department United States Senate Judiciary Committee


5. "When I was in England, I experimented with marijuana a time or two, and I didn't like it. I didn't inhale and never tried it again." –Bill Clinton

4. "When I was a kid I inhaled frequently. That was the point." - Barack Obama

3. "Now, like, I'm President. It would be pretty hard for some drug guy to come into the White House and start offering it up, you know? ... I bet if they did, I hope I would say, 'Hey, get lost. We don't want any of that.'" - George W. Bush


2. "I think pot should be legal. I don’t smoke it, but I like the smell of it." Andy Warhol

1. "I used to smoke marijuana. But I'll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . But never at dusk." Steve Martin
 

TheWheelman

Member
We went to a dealers house before. Being sketched out as we were, The kid in my car tried comforting us by saying "He's my boy its straight. We're partners and the smartest there is in dealing around here." So he proceeded to go inside and we waited for about 15 mins, we were already really high, and he came out Stoned as a mother fucker. Turned out he smoked a bunch of Kripy out of a vape. As we started to drive away he started getting antsy and started hyperventilating and shit so we got freaked out and asked what was wrong, his reply : " I FORGOT THE OZ, TURN AROUND!!! QUICK!!!!" We got back to the house and he ran inside and the 3 of us that were still in the car Laughed so hard we coulda sworn we died!! Lmao
 
not really an herb quote, but one of my faves- "Sex is like air, it's really not that big of a deal unless you're not getting any!"

saw that on a shirt in the mall five years ago, been laughing since
 
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