Great Stoner Quotes

"Ah dammnit! i locked my keys outside my car again" - peter griffin! xD

Lol my mate, my gf and I were at a mall, and We went to a cheap shop and got a chocolate egg for my gf (kinder surprise haha..she loves them). The checkout chick was hot as, and my mate was flirting with her while my gf and i started to walk away. I grabbed the bag of goods, and as i pulled it off the counter the egg fell out onto the floor...I was so baked im like:
"Shit my girls eggs ust fell out of the bag..." I looked right into the eyes of the checkout chick and went
"QUACK QUACK".

My mate was so embarrassed lol...I unno why i said that but it came out...I guess i was thinking dirty haha

prot

I was chillin with one of my friends when he suddenly burst into laughter and says "Yo. I just had a high moment." Mildly intrigued I asked "What happened?" he responds "I dunno, I can't remember!" I couldn't help but laugh forever when I heard that.

A little while after me and my roommate had just smoked a bowl, he turns to me and says "I think I see better without my glasses when I'm high dude" I look at him and say "Really, that's pretty weird" There's a brief moment of silence as we sit on the couch watching TV and then he says "Oh shit, I forgot to take my contacts out!" I just about lost it, I was laughing so god damn hard.

me...."what if the names of things got mixed around over night?" actually a thought I had a few moments ago....

a couple quots of mine. one is in my signature and the other is, TWO TEARS IN A BUCKET MOTHER FUCK IT

"cant make the scene if you dont have the green" - the mask

"i wonder if i can flex every muscle in my body."

This isn't really a joke more of a life leason. Today I've found three Mary Jane plants just... growing in my backyard, Nature will always win.

heres sum good quotes i came up with while smokin a fatty,

Lifes a bitch and then u die, so roll a spliff and lets get high

feed the need!!!! where the fu*ks my weed!!!

a buddy came up with this one

Life is like a country road, Never straight, and always stoned

PoTaHoLiK said:

heres sum good quotes i came up with while smokin a fatty,

Lifes a bitch and then u die, so roll a spliff and lets get high

feed the need!!!! where the fu*ks my weed!!!

a buddy came up with this one

Life is like a country road, Never straight, and always stoned

Click to expand...

+reps,nice ones

mygirls said:

+reps,nice ones

Click to expand...

hella dude.

it at first you dont succeed, fuck it off and blaze some weed

Woman born too bitch 24/7

half baked "i dont do drugs, just weed"
Pineapple express: "todays my cats birthday"
"how many women have you slept with?" "like two and a half"
"even if he found that roach, how could he find us?" " Um... heat-seeking missiles... bloodhounds... and foxes... barracudas...

" can you feel the floor sinking "

"its got a werid after taste liek someone hit you over the head with a shovel "

"isit alright if i warm biscuits in youre microwave ? "

"isnt it werid how telivisons move .. its only made out of metal but it still moves"

"imagen that we was in a documentary on drugs and it was before and after smoking pot fucking hell "

" shhhh .. i can hear something ... " "what isit ..." " aww its the fire alarm "

"Why the fuck are you rolling a spliff in my living room ? "

Do you think god is sad because, he put these plants on this earth for a reason and then the fucking goverment doesn't make it legal, and according to the bible you have to follow the law, but if it was legal I would go to heaven... So I think he is sad that I am a sinner ... So god wants me to be his little trooper and help legalize weed. hahahahahah wtf

I got one.... about 1000 years ago a wise China man once said and I quote "man who go to bed with itchy booty...... wake up with stinky fingas"

Dude, do you know some states actually let you pick your way of being executed..!

Well if I got to pick, I would want to disco dance to death! Like do the robot till I die! (dancing)--(in a robot voice) "batteries.....low......"

``buddy aaron