Vert(600+400) 5 plant, from Ukraine with love

Discussion in 'Vertical Growing' started by Sedan, Apr 15, 2017.


    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Who's at Fault

    Who is at fault, that you're worn out,
    That you can't find that which you seek,
    That you've lost all you've waited for,
    That you fell from the skies you'd reached.

    And who's to blame, that day by day,
    Your life goes by a stranger's way,
    Your house becomes a lonely place,
    Your window shows an empty space.

    The lights go out, the sounds grow silent,
    Your hands reach out for some new suffering,
    And if this pain appears to ease up,
    That just means a new one's on the way.

    And who's at fault, tell me, my friend,
    This one is married, that one's rich,
    This one's a nut, that one's in love,
    This one's a fool, that one's a foe.

    And who's to blame, that all around,
    Folks live by waiting for each other,
    While your day's dull, and your night's blank,
    And all the warm seats have been claimed.


    And who's at fault, and where's the key
    That there's no sorrow and no joy
    And no success without defeat
    The score for up's and down's is set.

    And who's to blame that you're alone
    With just this life and it's so long
    And you're so bored and you just wait
    Until you finally die one day



    ANC Well-Known Member

    What makes you happy?
    What do you want? Just something to consume or something more deviant?
    Why do you cry? It is just another loss.
    Someday we die, and our gravestones grow moss.
    Until the sun blinks out and swallows our dust.
    I sometimes wonder why we make all this fuss.
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    I confess honestly and I cry almost every day! Understand correctly, it's the cry of the soul! I do not ask for money !!!!!! I'm just telling you the story of my life !! I have no one else to tell, my relatives have not listened to me for a long time, they have other plans for me! I simply do not have a real way out)) I need at least two more years, for the possible implementation of my plans !!! I already lost my son, he went to live with his mother-in-law. The next stage, I will lose my wife! The next stage, you're right, I'll lose my life .. suicide! About two years ago, because of this despair, my wife woke up at night with a hoarse voice, and miraculously managed to cut off the rope I was hanging on! This is not enough?)) I do not need life or death, I have long had nothing to lose practically!

    I'm sorry for one thing, I can not get to my goal. It does not matter to me what people think about me, I'm only telling you the truth from my life, I do not need your money !!

    It's very simple, my friend, I want to be myself, and leave a mark on history! I do not care about death or life half-starving, I'm ready to sacrifice this for my own purpose. I precisely understand that I am capable of very much. As if you were offered a job in the coal mines for life, and you can invent an alternative kind of fuel!

    ANC Well-Known Member

    I suffer from bipolar depression. If I don't take my meds, my thinking also becomes like yours.

    I also live in a country that does not care for people who look or sound like me. I just made my world smaller.
    I only help people over the internet now... takes out the risks of personal interaction... Trying to just enjoy every moment for existing, like the birds in the field.
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Bro is not new to me, my own brother hanged himself in 2012, just a week ago, my friend died of an opiate overdose. he was already a finished addict. And before the war had a business freight. Had several trucks, several cars. Now the wife of a drug addict and two young children who will soon be in the orphanage Crisis and war made us angry animals. I'm still holding on, some do not! Depression of a certain nature, There is no future, if you knew how I live, you would understand me, Bro.

    I have nothing to pay for rent, turn off the light! This was only in the 90s, after the collapse of the USSR, now again! Before the crisis, I earned $ 10,000 a month, now 500
    In times of apartheid, perhaps it was worse than what you have now?)) At least for 10 years there is a financial pit for people who want to live, but do not suffer all their lives. I just understand this! Already almost 10 years of life goes into a tailspin for me !!

    Tell me please, you see the level of my knowledge and my stubborn character. Can such a person in a civilized country starve, while passionately wanting to work !? Therefore, this person chose the case for which he at any time can be put in jail! I'm not deceiving you and do not exaggerate, it's all true from my life!
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018

    ANC Well-Known Member

    Yep, yep, started out shit poor, but I flew all over the country every two weeks by 23, bought a house by 20 and then one morning I woke up and my back was fucked up until this day. All the nice stuff went away. Sadly trauma changes brain chemicals and function, much worse when it happens to many people as they then pick up more of the same from each other.

    Be strong I get that you are not having a great time at the moment.
    This too will pass and be totally unimportant in 100 years.
    Love from Africa.

    I wish I could transfer you into my shoes for 2 minutes, you will see we live in mirrored worlds almost. different characters, but it is the same script and play.My past did buy me some security, I live in a nice area, have a great wife etc, but can't participate in society.
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    [QUOTE = "ANC, post: 14093256, участник: 91403"] [/ QUOTE]

    , thanks for the support and sincere desire to help me!
    In 2001, I was in prison with a man named Kaba, he was from Lagos, from a family of wealthy parents. His parents were sent to Moscow for training at the University of Patricia Lumumba, but he was imprisoned in Ukraine for trafficking in heroin. Very competent and good man, we made friends, our beds were close. In the evening when I can not sleep and think only about freedom, he consoled me when he told me stories about his homeland. On the shooting in the stadiums, about the feud between Muslims and Catholics, about the eternal war for oil. The unreal difference between Lagos and the rest of the cities is less. He also talked about a robber in the style of Robin Hood, who traveled the city in poor neighborhoods and scattered money in the windows, if I am not mistaken, Anana was summoned, although this might be wrong to do. we spoke English, or rather, as you said, in Afro-English. Many things that Kaba told me, but most of all I was struck by the religion of VUDU. How can you so seriously believe))).
    You see, brother, I know more about Africa than about Russia,)) I know that life is the same everywhere. There are countries in which people are always hungry, but where people are bullied because of constant revolutions, it's very simple, there are people who have already reconciled, but still struggle for higher ideals, trying to find a way out! In the days of apartheid, volunteers went to our junior school and gathered clothes to help naked in Africa. In Moscow, a special University of Patricia Lumumba was opened, so that talented foreigners from poor countries could study there.
    Of course, as a result, the children of wealthy parents studied there, it's understandable)))) But the idea seems to me sound! At that time, there was a wave of indignation among the people in the USSR when they showed poor black citizens who were humiliated by whites in Africa! Nelson Mandela was the national hero of the USSR. The Soviet government even tried to help in the negotiations, so that he was released from prison on an island in the USSR. Did you know about this?))) The youth movement was organized in support of Nelson Mandela. So, Bro.))) And now the same thing happened to Ukraine! Usually President Poroshenko and former Prime Minister Yatseniuk are bastards! sold us in the same slavery as you! Now only Russia can really level the economic situation in Ukraine very quickly! America is not interested in economic stability in Ukraine. Europe, starving Ukraine, definitely do not need it! Russia will help us now ?! Now I hope that we are dealing with you due to the fact that everyone in different countries equally live! Yes, the general concept of humanity is understandable to us, but the mental tints associated with education and environmental conditions of different countries throughout the ages are noticeably different!
    PS: I remember now, in the USSR there was such a saying. I will try to translate: "For a political crime, at best, you will be dismissed from work in the worst case, they will be imprisoned for you, like Nelson Mandela,
    still remember the opinion of the inhabitants of the USSR that everywhere is the same. In the USSR there was such a saying "something", but in Africa it remained the same. This suggests that for the inhabitants of the USSR Africa is the end of the earth, but there is also this thing, even on the edge of the earth. On the edge of the earth, because, as we were told in history, Africa is a very terrible country.))) I do not remember why, whether it be racism or cannibals or wildlife. But I remember the rhyme of the Russian children's poet. I remember him in my memory, now I will translate it, though, Bro: "Do not go, little children, go to Africa." In Africa sharks, African gorillas, in Africa, big evil crocodiles, in Africa, robbers and villain are dangerous criminals of Barmalay. You will be bitten, beaten and insulted, do not go, children, to go for a walk around Africa. "The meaning of the fairy tale is that such a miracle veterinarian lived, most likely in the USSR))), he treated animals around the world for free. The next patient was a beast from Africa.The veterinarian went to treat a sick animal in Africa, where his paths intersected with Barmaley, a fierce battle began)) Without thinking twice, tell me who Barmalay is, and in what country do you think he is?)))
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018

    Sedan Well-Known Member

    I'm sorry, I confused you and the other person, I have to communicate with many, I sometimes get confused! I corrected the mistake!
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    ANC Well-Known Member

    If you were white in my country, you were expected to go fight the communists for 2 years when you complete high school (schooling here is basically two stages primary school 7 years then 5 years high school, then you go to technicon or university. There where also technical schools for the dumb kids- these days the smart kids go there, you would learn more hands-on skills like how to become an electrician or mechanic or something like that where you worked with your hands). Even is school, we had military uniforms and training on Fridays.

    Anyhow my whole childhood Every night on the news (back then news was on once or twice a day), the leader of the country would warn us about the red danger, or rooi gevaar to use the exact words). Times change, the smart can find a way to survive as long as you keep your head low.

    Back when the Survivor TV series started, I could always pick the winner by the second or third program. It was the best grey dove. The one that drew the least attention and offered the least threat.

    Actually, Russia is a great interest of mine... Although I am more interested in the more ancient parts of Russia... Those parts that are better and more beautiful than what we know how to make today. Where buildings have the road up to the windows today buried halfway in the ground. And no one seems to know how it got like this... I mean I'm sure Russians have brooms and can sweep streets. Beautifull St. Petersburg. I think the old people were a group of survivors from the days of Atlantis.
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    military clothing or just a school uniform? We have less schoolwork. The junior school is 4 and the secondary school is 5 years old. Then you can go to the technical school. If you want to go to university, then you need to study for two more years. But, if you graduated from the technical school, then you can enter the second year of the university. The Nax had an object in school, the last two years "pre-conscription training," where we even fired from AK 47 on targets. If you have not entered the university before the age of 18, you must serve in the army. But if the university does not have a military department, then you must serve after university If there is a military department, then you leave the university as a reserve lieutenant, ie you can go to the army if you do not find a job in the specialty, already in the rank of lieutenant

    I doubt that young people from South Africa went to study in Moscow, they would hardly have returned back. Speaking about the countries of Africa, they called us the countries of the third world, where the standard of living is the lowest, because we know perfectly well that the country with the lowest standard of living is in Africa. That idea was to help or support the oppressed peoples of the world! Oppressed by whom? Literally: "decaying capitalism" or "rotten West." In those countries, high-quality specialists were sent to teach illiterate people. There were unreal deliveries of equipment, machines and equipment. In Africa there is still a lot of Soviet technology. The main reason was of course to find true allies in the face of those countries in order to strengthen the influence of the USSR in Africa, in response to apartheid. The USSR has also suffered very much financially from these supplies and training. Many know whose parents were in Africa on a long-term business trip. But still, the race of weapons is one thing, but in fact they helped these countries develop, and not robbed and raped, it's different!

    ))) My friend .. Colleague! You probably do not quite correctly imagine your situation. You think I do not know something, I have not seen something.))

    I frankly tell you without pathos or bragging, you underestimate me, what your condescending tone says.

    Now be more comfortable and listen carefully, my friend! This is a true story that happened to me personally.

    As you correctly noted that it was now, it used to be all-around once.In 1888, the Russian magazine published A Chekhov's story

    "The Bet"

    I did not find the translation, only a summary, unfortunately, but I think if you read further my post, then you will understand exactly what I am trying to tell you.

    With the onset of the crisis, the slow bankruptcy of my company began. I did not believe the older and more experienced friends, in the fact that this is not temporary, and it is necessary to change the profile of activity. I, as a true stubborn, tried to prevent bankruptcy until the last, and lied in debts for monthly payments to my company.

    This salary to the staff, "taxes", office rent and other premises, etc. This process continued as torture of the inquisitor, unrealistically long, unrealistically stupid, unrealistically pointless! In the end, I climbed into debt about $ 200. You are a banker, you know what it is, when everything is swirled so that there is no security for the loan, everything was on my reputation as a successful businessman!

    Further, I rush to all my rich acquaintances, companions, partners, and relatives for help. All this clique turns away from me, as if on command! I stay in deafening loneliness !! For about a year my phone called only from creditors, it made me mad just !! If there is no collateral for the loan in the bank, who is in the arena?
    Bandits!)) Like in Hollywood movies .. you know them?))) These people take me out into the woods in the trunk, give me a shovel, twitching the pistol shutter, they say: dig your own grave !! After they were trampling me, they beat me and gave me a term, very short! You watched the series survival))))), what will happen next to me? Did you get it?))) You see, I'm alive))).
    Next: I again turn to friends, refusal in a more coarse form. Vse-I was left alone !! For almost ten years I was hatching about ten commercial real projects !!! I appealed again to them .. to "friends", they did not even want to listen to me! Although a little earlier, with an open mouth listening to me! They "elected", with them this does not happen, they have their moms and dads covered .. They wrote me on the black list as a loser !! Such among the "elite" is not!

    All these almost ten years, I lived in absolute solitude because I did not have other friends then !! With drug addicts or alcoholics. that they live in the district I did not have any sense to communicate!

    Were my only books! I frantically tried to find in this hell some way out, in the thoughts of the authors of these books. Vosnovnom this was a book on philosophy and history. I read them in between sobbing !! It lasted almost ten years !!!! This is true, Bro! I have been dozens of times in critical situations that you never dreamed of in a nightmare! I have no idea how I survived !!!! Bro, did you understand the result or not?))) I refused completely from this deceitful, corruptible world, renounced the rules. laws and regulations completely !! I'm ready for anything, lichs would not return there!

    I had a lofty goal and I have to suffer further, but my family thinks I'm crazy !! I have big problems in the family. My wife does not want to suffer with me, for the sake of an illusory goal, to bring my knowledge to people !!! She does not see the point! I do not see the point, either, but in another! While I will not have money, my listen and take seriously will not be a fact !!! And my heart aches more and more, I was surprised for a long time, why until now it did not hurt))) I'm afraid I will not survive the last test !! If I lose my family, I'm dead!

    My friend, do you still think me weak or stupid? Only I ask you, answer me frankly !!! Remember John's theme .. weak I .. stupid?)))) You yourself was surprised to me that I dared to talk through Google on such topics! Now you understand what is the reason for this !! ??)))) Despair, Bro !!!!!!!!!!!

    I very strongly ask pardon, if I spoke incorrectly, tactlessly or unethically, I'm telling the truth and do not ask anyone for money !! Real Russians do not chide with an outstretched hand in the subway crossing !!! Remember this once and for all, Guys !!

    As they say at parting, we have officers of the army since ancient times:

    Честь Имею!!!
    Last edited: Feb 24, 2018

    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Here, on the occasion I got on some foreign site, where Chekhov's "Bet" is discussed. They do not understand the meaning of everything until the end, I wrote down the answers to this, but I can not send something, the language is still, I do not know it, Spanish or Portuguese probably.


    RE "The Bet" by Anton Chekhov?

    1. Greed For Money was the motivation for betting. Do you agree or disagree
    2. How does isolation affect him at different stages over the 15 year period?
    3. The banker sees his bet as "the caprice of a pampered man". How does he feel about himself at the end of the 15 yrs. What does does reveal about Chekhov's view of what is important in life?
    4. At what points in the reading did you need to revise your predictions of what was to happen next?
    5. What is the story's theme - human experience? Can several thematic statements apply to this story?
    6. Restate the philosophy revealed in the lawyer's letter, point by point, and give your reaction to each point. How could the lawyer's views provide a commentary on the state of Russian society during the last years of czarist rule?


    I am Russian! Excuse my pronunciation!

    1. No greed was the motivation for betting. One was a conservative, the second of the youth. At that time in Russia it was fashionable among the young intelligentsia to be in clear opposition to the existing system, as a result-a conflict of generations! Further, this fashion led to the revolution of 1917.

    2, He thoroughly and objectively studied history and philosophy, and came to the conclusion that the whole concept of life is meaningless, therefore he refused money !!

    3,Does not say anything. The banker, although he passed through a severe crisis of life, still did not change his mind, and remained as stupid and greedy. Morality: impossible, being in the society to change yourself! The lawyer understood this, because he was alone and nobody knocked him off his thoughts.

    4. The question is difficult, in Chekhov all the works bear a hidden meaning. For the most part, do not have a logical conclusion, it's like in philosophy, given the material for thinking the end is invented itself. I read the full collection of his works three times! This is not fiction, it is the philosophy of Ipsychology, for the most part. It's not a detective story to guess. You will not work for example Nietzsche, to foresee?))

    5. No, only the absence of logic in life and its pointlessness!

    6, Comments on the items I can not give, but I wrote already above, just on the topic of the last king .. already Nicholas 2 was, if not mistaken, this is the last king and there is! The intelligentsia hit the revolutionary ideas about the noble redivision of the world. The basis of this utopian idea was Marx apparently. Here it is not necessary by points, here it is clearly shown how the person has changed, only after having been with his thoughts without the hindrance of an outsider, for several years, radically changed his point of view-he has received his sight! The point is that there is no sense in revolutions and redistribution of the world!

    With respect to your home, greetings from sunny Ukraine)))
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Now, when a man with a "free mind" (F. Nietzsche's phrase), half a long search and torment, tries in vain to find the meaning of life, he eventually realizes that everything that happens in life is no more than a farce, he begins to seek meaning in the sublime .. "divine."

    Love! From one sound of this word, any person has excitement! What a wonderful feeling .. Love! And what is love between a man and a woman? Have you ever thought about it? Do you think this is something sublime, uplifting man to heaven? Is this an unselfish feeling? After long brain-racking, I received another insight !! This is not an unreasonable feeling, it's just a lust caused by animal instinct. Speaking directly is the greatest sin, from which you need to stay away! If play in the "love" then a person can turn into the greatest sinner, lying, betraying, destroying the destiny of innocent people .... those women (men) whom he loved, and then stopped loving .. After all, when, he stops loving an old woman, starting to lie a new one, then what happens to the old one? she is happy about it?))) She is so glad that the veins themselves will open from this joy!

    In support of my words, I will cite as an example, an excerpt from the work of L. Tolstoy, "Kreutzer Sonata," written in 1880. I told you about this author earlier. He was a count, he did not eat meat, walked all the time in peasant clothes.

    In the photo L. Tolstoy and A. Chekhov


    Painting of the French artist René-Xavier Prine "Kreutzer Sonata", written in 1901


    read the first three chapters, please.

    This work for some reason immediately underwent severe criticism in tsarist Russia. Why?! Think,)))

    "Kreutzer Sonata" 1987, the USSR film, fragment

    Last edited: Feb 26, 2018

    Sedan Well-Known Member

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    to be continued...

    Frajola Well-Known Member

    I liked very much your craft, and I do believe you , this things when it is hand made ans it is in its prototyping steps you have to put up a lot of time and effort to make it happen accordingly , can't afford mistakes. I use to build archeological replicas in gold back there on my goldsmith time from research on internet and from out of history books, and I know what kind of ground your are steeping on. Congrats.
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Yes, Bro, I remember, you told me. I told you or not, but my wife is also connected with the jewelry business. She worked for 12 years as a store manager, one of the largest jewelry chain in our city. She is very professional. It can in appearance determine the exact weight, even if blown, which sample. Counterfeit distinguishes without the use of reagents, the eye.....

    There was a "Maydan", the city came officials from the new government, took away from the owner of the network of his business (jewelry network of 6 stores in the elite places of the city). So my wife was left without work.

    Previously, she earned $ 2000 a month. Now she is offered a job for $ 200-300 a month. The work is very hard and responsible, I do not let her to work for that kind of money. It brings more benefits to the family by caring for my plants.

    Here such advantages have given us "Maidan"))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

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    to be continued..
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    gr865 Well-Known Member

    I can sympathize with your wife as it happened to me, not through the government though.

    I spent my career in golf course management and construction.
    At the height of my career I was turning triple digits for the last 15 or so yrs. That was at a private club in California, but wanted to get back to my home state so I took a job, at a much lower salary, renovating a older course which was my "specialty". This was a daily fee course and when I finished the construction they let me go saying that they could afford me when doing construction but could not keep me to manage the course at my current rate. They said I could stay if I took a pay cut, about 45%. I knew they could get a younger person with much less experience to maintain the course and pay him less than half of what I demanded. I had been in the business for over 35 yrs when this occurred and they wanted me to take a salary that was less than I was making 25 yrs before.
    Even though I was really not ready to retire the only way for me to make a salary that I required was take a job I was offered at a private club on the west coast. I only had two yrs before my planned retirement and I did not want to make that move for such a short period of time, so I pulled the string and retired. Fortunately, I saved for my retirement and along with Social Security I am doing ok.
    I am so glad I did as it led me to the hobby which is some much more gratifying.
    So it looks like no matter where you live there is always an obstacle to continued success, be it government driven or private businesses that tend to hold you down because they can.
    If I had to, I know I could make a living selling cannabis, but that is not my style, I sold my last $10 bag of weed in 69' and don't ever want to do that again. LOL

    Last edited: Mar 1, 2018
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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Rastaf let us give us the paradise of the sun, embrace our Rastaf
    paradise .... take away from the troubles of Rastaf's paradise

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    Sedan Well-Known Member

    Money, money is also a smile on your face.
    Smile in the palms and ring, shine in the sun
    Money, money - these are all my problems and concerns.
    When money is money,
    I do not want to work anymore.

    But someone is stronger than me and above,
    And he has a completely different level.
    He says to me: "Boy, all banzai.
    Give money, give your money! "

    I leave, I leave this gloomy country.
    I do not understand anything and I probably will not understand.
    How many times did I want to forget about everything?
    And away from here to escape.
    I'd rather be in Hawaii
    Clean air breathes the sea.

    But someone is stronger than me and above,
    And he has a completely different level.
    He says to me: "Boy, all banzai.
    Give money, give your money! "

    Give money - give me money!
    Give money and it will be easier than your head.
    Money comes from nowhere and goes nowhere.
    Money as the air is never enough.


    Sedan Well-Known Member

    No regrets, my friend! For the most part, I'm glad of this development.))) If I go philosophically. Although in the financial authorities this is not the best option, but I taught my wife to rejoice not only the brilliance of gold, but something more sublime and divine. After all, when she was focused on work, he did not think about anything except his gold, everything else was uninteresting to her! I have a similar situation, I thought that I used to be great and mighty, I turned out to be a small and frail, greedy person! Now I have discovered the world! It turns out I need people without money! It turns out I can bring real benefits! The old world has gone to the background .. it is almost no longer in my heart.

    I know that you are a very experienced person, you are suited to me as a father! I'm very interested in the time in the history of the United States. The times of hippies and free love. I watched the movie "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". In those days, the whole country was immersed in a narcotic dream, in a cafe served drinks with mescaline, is it true?

    Sincerely, Sedan

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