Two sentence joke

Discussion in 'Stonable Quotables' started by SageFromZen, Jan 17, 2018.

  1.  
    SageFromZen

    SageFromZen Well-Known Member

    If a schizophrenic becomes suicidal...

    ...is it a hostage situation?
     
    DREGER and Roger A. Shrubber like this.
  2.  
    Roger A. Shrubber

    Roger A. Shrubber Well-Known Member

    sorry, apparently i'm susceptible to temporal shifts today.......
     
    DREGER likes this.
  3.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    Whats red, and turns white when you suck it?

    A used tampon
     
    Chunky Stool and DREGER like this.
  4.  
    Andrewk420

    Andrewk420 Well-Known Member

    How do you catch a special rabbit?

    Unique up on it.





    How do you catch a pet rabbit?

    The tame way.
     
    DREGER, Tim1987 and Roger A. Shrubber like this.
  5.  
    Space_cadet

    Space_cadet Well-Known Member

    Ive got lots of girls knocking on my door.

    Ill let them out one day.

    I haven't seen much dark humor, thought i would add some.
     
  6.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    Lol.

    What's 3 feet tall, and runs into walls?

    A kid with forks in its eyes.





    You sick fuck.
     
    Chunky Stool, DREGER and Space_cadet like this.
  7.  
    Space_cadet

    Space_cadet Well-Known Member

    Oh oh just remembered another one....

    When is a pixie not a pixie? .......

    When he has his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a gobblin.
     
    DREGER, Roger A. Shrubber and Tim1987 like this.
  8.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What do you tell a lady with two black eyes?
    Nothing you havnt already, twice before.
     
    DREGER likes this.
  9.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    Life is like toilet paper.
    You're either on a roll, or taking shit from some arsehole.
     
  10.  
    Space_cadet

    Space_cadet Well-Known Member

    How do you make a dog drink?

    Put him in the blender.
     
  11.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What's worse than finding a maggot in your meat pie?
    Finding half a maggot.
     
    DREGER and thepenofareadywriter like this.
  12.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What do you call an Afghan virgin?
    Mever bin laid on.
     
    DREGER likes this.
  13.  
    Budzbuddha

    Budzbuddha Well-Known Member

    How many dead babies does it take to paint a house ?

    Depends on how hard you throw them .........
     
    thepenofareadywriter and DREGER like this.
  14.  
    Cold$moke

    Cold$moke Well-Known Member

    If vaseline grew hair.

    You'd have a pony tail coming outa your ass!
     
    Chunky Stool and DREGER like this.
  15.  
    washington_kid84

    washington_kid84 New Member

    What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
     
    DREGER and Roger A. Shrubber like this.
  16.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What's long, brown and really fuken sticky?

    A stick.
     
  17.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What do you call a deer with no eyes?
    No idea.
     
    DREGER likes this.
  18.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What do you call a deer with no eyes, and no legs?
    Still no idea.
     
    DREGER likes this.
  19.  
    Tim1987

    Tim1987 Well-Known Member

    What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs, having sex?
    Still, fucking, no idea!
     
    DREGER likes this.
  20.  
    Budzbuddha

    Budzbuddha Well-Known Member

    What's the difference between trump and a red baboons ass ?

    No difference
     
    DREGER and Roger A. Shrubber like this.

Share This Page