To answer your questions,
Yes
Keep it that way,
Check out the 'Quiet the neighbor's can hear' thread to quiet your fan down. Also, dial in your speed controller to maintain your temp and there won't be a sound change when the fan cycles on/off (as long as you can maintain RH).
The inlet fan should be matching the exhaust fan. If not, you have an air leak.
If you are checking the inlet fan with the tent open, then your exhaust fan is pulling air in from the opening, not your inlet fan.
If you get in there and close everything up, you'll notice your inlet air is equal to your exhaust air, if it isn't, you have air leaks.