Most Stupid Things

nongreenthumb

nongreenthumb

Well-Known Member
What are some of the most stupid things you have said or thought while stoned?

I'll get us underway.

While cooking something in the microwave, I said to my girlfriend damn that microwave is loud maybe i should turn it down on the volume button.

I actually thought the timer dial was a volume dial
 
My cell phone sits on the table were my notebook sits.
Sometimes I grab my cell phone instead of my cordless mouse.
I'll sit there moving it back and forward for a while before I notice it's my cell phone. LOL
 
today i did another

I went to maccy d's and went through the drive thru.

I ordered the meal and then paid, i sat there for a few minutes looking at the girl working the window all confused, she asked what was up and I said isnt that my bag with the straws n stuff in, she said no, yours is between your legs.

Smoking definately nulls the brain
 
NO GROW said:
My cell phone sits on the table were my notebook sits.
Sometimes I grab my cell phone instead of my cordless mouse.
I'll sit there moving it back and forward for a while before I notice it's my cell phone. LOL
Click to expand...


I do that shit all the time at work. I'm like WTF? Why isn't the arrow moving!!!!
 
i was in my garage playing with my motorcycle. i was sitting on it with it running in neutral. i was revving the engine and pretending i was flying down the road. after a few minutes of make believe i stood up and leaned it over onto the kickstand. woops, kickstand wasn't down. it fell over in between my legs. broke 2 lights.
 
I have a pregnant dog who loves to snack on a bite of cat food. Well, I was completely baked and went into the kitchen to get her a handfull of catfood. While on my way my mind wandered and was pondering the mysteries of the universe. I grabbed up a handfull of food and was walking back to where she was waiting and ended up bring my hand to my mouth and getting a rather large bite. I made it through about 4 chews before I realized what was happening. Chews 1-3 all I could think was "mmmmm, crunchy!"
 
I was watching sport center on ESPN and was listening to the recaps for the day. For the first time I thought to myself how cool of a job it would be to read the highlights for the day and get paid. In addition to that I noticed for the first time that they have music in the background when they are showing video highlights. I thought to myself that this is the job I wanted: To make the music that's played during the highlights.
 
when I was younger and living with my parents it was time for dinner and i was sooo blazed , so I sat down for dinner with them and realized my food wasnt hot enough so I went to put it in the microwave.

well I tried to type in the cooking time and hit start but the fucking thing wouldnt start!! I was so high so I thought to myself to make sure, I was like im doing everything right why isnt it starting!! so I turn around to my parents and say, "hey! the microwave isnt working. it wont turn on"

Well, right then at that very second that I said that I realized that my hand was still on the microwave door and I was holding it open! my parents were looking at me like I was nuts! so real quik is said "just Kidding":mrgreen: and closed the microwave door and hit start:blsmoke:

man I used to hate being high around my parents. still do to this day and Im a big boy now:mrgreen:
 
One time I got really stoned after a long weekender with a bunch of crazy mfrs. I was sitting alone in my apartment, it was like 1am and only the light from the tv was lighting my room. Fuck I was hungry! I hadn't eaten all weekend - just speed, booze, and weed for two days straight. The doobie I just burned to wind down has me HUNGRY and I remembered some chicken legs I had thawed in the fridge.

I hopped up, turned on the stove, took out some spices and fried that bird up good. I cooked it up and was back in my couch in no time. Ate my chicken and caught the last of Twilight Zone on tv.

Fucking chicken rocked. Not a bit dry and sooooo good. I ate it and went to the kitchen with my plate. Turned on the light and saw my plate. Chicken bones with purple bloody flesh torn off, sitting in a huge puddle of blood in my plate. The chicken was raw.

I totally lost track of time and thought I cooked the chicken well. Apparently I did not. Just long enough to crisp the skin, I guess.

I puked my fucking guts out. Stoned as hell and certain I was going to die from fucking chicken food poisoning or some shit..............
 
ramblerpimp209 said:
One time I got really stoned after a long weekender with a bunch of crazy mfrs. I was sitting alone in my apartment, it was like 1am and only the light from the tv was lighting my room. Fuck I was hungry! I hadn't eaten all weekend - just speed, booze, and weed for two days straight. The doobie I just burned to wind down has me HUNGRY and I remembered some chicken legs I had thawed in the fridge.

I hopped up, turned on the stove, took out some spices and fried that bird up good. I cooked it up and was back in my couch in no time. Ate my chicken and caught the last of Twilight Zone on tv.

Fucking chicken rocked. Not a bit dry and sooooo good. I ate it and went to the kitchen with my plate. Turned on the light and saw my plate. Chicken bones with purple bloody flesh torn off, sitting in a huge puddle of blood in my plate. The chicken was raw.

I totally lost track of time and thought I cooked the chicken well. Apparently I did not. Just long enough to crisp the skin, I guess.

I puked my fucking guts out. Stoned as hell and certain I was going to die from fucking chicken food poisoning or some shit..............
Click to expand...


looooooooololol chicken poisoning this thread kicks ass
 
this ones a real doozy I should have been killed but it invloves being drunk not stoned.

we were all drunk and listening to the radio but I noticed that the power cord to the radio had a cut on it and had some wire exposed.

so being the handy guy that I am I decided to fix it. so I got a pair of scissors and cut the power cord in half at and then cut off the part with the wire exposed so I could splice it back together so it would be fixed

well I didnt have wire splicers so I decided to rip the insulation off the wires with my teeth. Mind you im drunk while doing this,

well I put the wire in my mouth and bit off the insulation off the first wire fine then as I went to bite the other wire a huge explosion of sparks blew in and outside of my mouth!!!


I forgot to unplug it.......


moral of the story, dont put a live wire in your mouth. I was so lucky to come out of that with not a scrach. I should have been dead in a horrible way or atleast have my tougue burned out.
 
you said "chicken food poisoning".


i ate a muffin that had green in the middle. it about killed me. i didn't know it was green in the middle until i got to the second one. i was really high. big huge blueberry muffins. warmed up with butter and rotten in the middle
 
when i was a kid i was stoned an had a 40oz beer in me and was driving to my buddies house. there were 3 of us driving there and trying to be slick and racing to see who could get there first.

it was also raining:roll:

anyway so im in the lead but am a very inexpirianced driver at the time and im flying around this steap downhill corner with the road ALL wet .

needless to say i lost control of the car real bad so i truned the steering wheel a hard left to avoid crashing into the trees but in my panic i over corrected and now began veering in the other direction so i turned the wheel real hard again to avoid the other side an over corrected again.

after skiding sevearly to the left and right like this a few times the car couldnt take it no more an did a full 180 turn and came to a rest right in front of our local policestation. it was amazing! i ended up perfectly on the other side of the road pointing in the opposite direction that i had been traveling in.

after a second for my brain to compute what just happend i slamed down on the gas to get out of there as fast as i could as the police station was right there lol

it was funny cuz right then my buddy i was racing drove by me on the other side like thinking wtf? how did he get on the other side of the road:blsmoke:

luck bees a lady im sure:blsmoke:
 
I was at work one morning blowed outta my mind, and my boss bought us breakfast. I slammed down my McMuffin or whatever it was and began looking for my drink. I saw what I thougtht was my Coke on the bench, so I grab it up and kill it. I was about 3 gulps in when I realize exactly how warm this drink is. I take it away from my mouth and look at it, and it has like crusty old food around the rim. Needeles to say it was a drink left there from the night before by one of our customers. Once I started thinking about wtf that could be on the rim, and god only knows who's drink that was, I barfed my guts out.:spew:
 
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