Lets Hear Some JOKES!

"Colt 45"

[Afroman]
Wait a minute man
Hey check this out man tell it
It was this blind man right, it was this blind man right
He was feelin' his way down the street with a stick right, hey
He walked past this fish market, you know what I'm sayin'
He stopped he took a deep breath he said
Snfffffff, woooo good morning ladies, ha
You like that shit man
Hey man Ive got a gang of that shit man
Hey I'll tell you what
We'll all have a good time
We'll pull on the drug
And hey, hey if everybody try on the mike I'll tell you all these motherfuckin' jokes I got
First I'm gonna start off like that, hey help me sing it homeboy

Why do women fake orgasms?







Because they think men care

What's red and bad for your teeth ?


A brick !

Why did the dick go to 7/11 ?

To get a slurpee !

I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

The preacher was putting a new coat of paint on his small country church. He was trying to be frugal and only use one gallon of paint. A few hours go by; He managed to get about a third of the way done when he looked at his limited supply of paint and decided he wasn't going to be able to paint the entire church. So he added a little water; thinning the paint out a little, but it was hardly noticeable. About two-thirds of the way around the church he again noticed his paint supply getting low, so once again he added some water; thinning the paint out a little more. He managed to complete his paint job just barely. The last stroke of the brush contained the last drop of paint. And as soon as he ended that final brush stroke, there came a downpour which washed away all the paint. The preacher then heard a thunderous voice which proclaimed "Repaint! Repaint, and thin no more."

There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp, the police are looking into it!!

1 plus 1 = 2 HAHAHAHA
What's up foxy ? you new hah ?
Welcome to the best web site in history man ~~~~

clint308 said:

1 plus 1 = 2 HAHAHAHA
What's up foxy ? you new hah ?
Welcome to the best web site in history man ~~~~

Click to expand...

Yep, I'm new 'Clinton' I see your not!

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.

My dad got sacked from his job as a road side worker for stealing

I didnt believe him but when I got home all the signs where there

midgetaus said:

My dad got sacked from his job as a road side worker for stealing

I didnt believe him but when I got home all the signs where there

Click to expand...

Haha 10 characters

The ButtocksA married couple were in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.

So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.

However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to comefrom her buttocks.

Owing to the sensitive nature of the situation...they all agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from.

After the surgery.....everyone was astounded at the man's new face. He looked more handsome than ever !

All his friends and relatives raved about his youthful appearance...especially his mother!

One day, while alone with his wife, and overcome with emotion at her sacrifice he said,

'Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

''My darling,' she replied, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.'

Two peanuts were walking through the park at night,one was a-salted..

A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
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