Lets Hear Some JOKES!

tytheguy111

Well-Known Member
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued."
The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you."
He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?"
The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yeah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
​
lol




theres this drunk that walks into the bar with no money and he went up to the bartender and asks " what do i have to do to get a free drink" and the bartender says " if you can make that horse outside laugh ill give you a whole glass of whiskey so the drunck thinks for a minute and says " okay hold one" and he walks outside to the horse and whisperd something in the houses ear and the horse starts rolling around laughing on the ground and the drunk comes in and says" wheres my whiskey " and the bartender gives him his big glass of whiskey and says " that's amazing i don't know how you did that" then he said " ill give you a whole bottle of whiskey if you can make that horse cry" well the drunk says " okay let me get right to it " and he walks outside and unzips his zipper and then zips it back up and the horse started crying and rolling around on the ground and the drunk walks back in and says " wheres me bottle of whiskey " and the bar tender says " ill give it to you if you tell me how you did that" and the drunk says " well the first time i told him that me dick was bigger than his then the second time i showed him "
 

Foxyroxy420

Active Member
lol




theres this drunk that walks into the bar with no money and he went up to the bartender and asks " what do i have to do to get a free drink" and the bartender says " if you can make that horse outside laugh ill give you a whole glass of whiskey so the drunck thinks for a minute and says " okay hold one" and he walks outside to the horse and whisperd something in the houses ear and the horse starts rolling around laughing on the ground and the drunk comes in and says" wheres my whiskey " and the bartender gives him his big glass of whiskey and says " that's amazing i don't know how you did that" then he said " ill give you a whole bottle of whiskey if you can make that horse cry" well the drunk says " okay let me get right to it " and he walks outside and unzips his zipper and then zips it back up and the horse started crying and rolling around on the ground and the drunk walks back in and says " wheres me bottle of whiskey " and the bar tender says " ill give it to you if you tell me how you did that" and the drunk says " well the first time i told him that me dick was bigger than his then the second time i showed him "
LOL nice one!!
 

mr sunshine

Well-Known Member
My racist boss once told me a racist joke ....A guy finds a magical lamp three old fucks fly out of it and tell the guy he gets a wish from each one of them so three wishes... guy goes I want to be rich. So his wish is granted, then he goes I need lots of beautiful naked ladies ..so that happens to. The last genie goes last wish the guy wishes then suddenly he is dead hanging from a tree....The genies are walking away from his hanging body . Then one of the genies says I liked the first two but why the hell would anyone want to be hung like a black man..that's the end the guy that told me this joke is a racist bastard fuck..
 

clint308

Well-Known Member
My racist boss once told me a racist joke ....A guy finds a magical lamp three old fucks fly out of it and tell the guy he gets a wish from each one of them so three wishes... guy goes I want to be rich. So his wish is granted, then he goes I need lots of beautiful naked ladies ..so that happens to. The last genie goes last wish the guy wishes then suddenly he is dead handing from a tree....The genies are walking away from his hanging body . Then one of the genies says I liked the first two but why the hell would anyone want to be hung like a black man..that's the end the guy that told me this joke is a racist bastard fuck..
Hhahahahahaha racist but funny !
 

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
What do

Hippie Chic's

Hippie Cigarettes

and Coffee all have in common?

they all make you go puhhh pfffffftt puhhhhh

when you put them in your mouth.
 
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