Great Stoner Quotes

Thats funny as hell because its to true...

"you got a joint man?" "No not on me man" "You'd be a lot cooler if you did!"

ADVERTISEMENT: I will be moving into a new apartment in 1 month. on my bedroom wall i am mounting an 8x3' coarkboard and my friends and i will be thumb tacking all stoned quotes to the board. In the other room we will have polaroid pics on another 8x3'er. anybody want to assist in the fun, send photos and quotes. could be interesting.

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No shit, I actually saw this.

where can i get a bigmac 5AM ?

Hedgehunter said:

where can i get a bigmac 5AM ?

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Austrailia..

so it was 4/20 like 2 years ago, my friend p passed out on my bed and after sleeping for like 10 minutes he jerked out of his sleep and said "did i fall off my skateboard?" while hes laying on my bed.

confucious say: "he who go to bed with itchy but wake up with stinky finger"

just a month ago my friend was drunk and high, he was talkin about his kid, who after trying to swollow solid foods, like meat and noodles and stuff, throws up all over the place. anyways he said "i cant really feed my kid with out him provectile jomiting all over the place" obvously trying to say projectile vomiting.

"oh man now im gonna have to go back to sucking meth for dick"- still waiting

im so high, i can feel my facial hair but im not using my hands...see! look my hands are down here, but i can feel my facial hair, and its growin! ... me

Wtf to the 2 previous posts lol

"Being high is like, well it's like if you take life and well you turn it up from LOW to HIGH..."

I know you have read RIU,




but have you read it on *weed*, man?

i said m"y lips are dry as fuk i jus feel like tyrone biggums rite now..."
i wuz walkin across the street, dropped everything in my hands nd jus said "SHAZZAM!" and started harlem shakin

mightystoned said:

"you got a joint man?" "No not on me man" "You'd be a lot cooler if you did!"

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haha wooderson is the man

a friend of mine said something like this: Duude the stearing wheel it's getting away! (he was driving)

I was high as hell with a couple of my friends when we decided to crash another friend's party. Everyone there was wasted, and we wound up walking into a badass lesbian makeout session.

As we leave, my friend turns to me and says, "Man, did you her chest? I'd have loved to have some teeth on that shit."
And I just go, "Hells yeah, man! Take a bite out of that crime!"

My friend dropped his shit and laughed until he cried.

Same party, we were all sitting down doing random shit. I'm on the back porch, nursing my final beer when my friend comes up behind me.
"For what have you come here, my friend?" I asked. I was so fucking high.
"Your soul!" He said.
I squint my eyes and put down my beer. "You know not with whom you speak!" I proceed to throw energy balls at him and squawk at him to 'begone!'

Holland isnt a Country, its a state of mind

What seems to be the officer problem?

ok a couple of years ago we still were at college back then were at a friends house on a friday night! we were 4 good friends started chilling around 8 in the evening we barbecued had lots of beer and smoke sooooo much weed were almost passing out at like 5 in the morning while in my friends room hes on his bed im on the couch and our other two friends were on their matres beds on the floor its been completely silent for like ten minute when one of my friends on the floor asks with his half dead sleepy voice "is the sun coming out or is the ceiling just white?" we couldnt stop laughing for hours

I think it's one of those "had to be there" times but I was baked standing waiting for my cousin in the other room and he wanted me to come or something and I said all calmly "I can't dude, I'm in a sleeping bag."

My mate spent about 5 mins staring real close at this bud, then he turned and said 'I think i can see the atoms on it'