If you really want her to know how much you love her here's what ya do .
1st off before you get too fuked up your gonna need some supplys , dont worry about food or soap just stick with the essentials like meth , crack , gallons of hard liquor atleast 90 proof & some extacy , oh & dont forget atleast 2 dozen butane lighters & not those crappy job's get bic's , now your supplied & ready to implement your plan , start blowing her phone up every 5 seconds till she lets all calls go straight to voice mail , on the 1st few messages just keep it simple & tell her you love & miss her , now you start smokin the meth & crack in between voice mails & be sure to wash the dope down with the booze , lots of booze , now you want to change up the voice mails a bit to keep her interested , here's where you get mean , mad dog mean , tell her your gonna chop her up into bits if she dont come back , allways remembering to smoke some crack & meth between calls , you can drink the booze while on the phone so she can see how great you are at multi tasking but keep those voice mails going .
You should be on about day 4 of not eating , sleeping or showering before you go to the next step , now you want to go from mean & threatening messages & go all introspective on her , you know like " see how crazy you make me " or " see what you made me do " , now she'll know it's her fault , right about this time you'll hear a knock on your door but dont answer it , it's the police !, fuk em just stay hot on the crack pipe , ignore them & they'll go away after nailing a restraining order on your door which you can use later for shit paper , now it's time to show her how constructive you are , round up all the pics you have of her making sure to get all the pics on her facebook page her friends took of her , now you start building a shrine & alter to worship her & here's when you'll want to pop the extasy so you get your creative juices flowing , staple all the pics to the wall & under them put a coffee table so you can load it up with all the little trinkets she bought you , the table altar doubles as a handy spot to chop up rocks & set the booze while your worshiping her , some multi colored xmas lights aroung the shrine will give the place a great ambience , you'll want to spend atleast 3 days at the shrine before you go to the next step , dont forget to keep hittin the pipe & guzzeling the booze as it'll help you think up your next barrage of messages .
At this point you should be atleast a week in with no food , water , showering or sleep & most likely naked too , which is good because it gives you more places to burn yourself with cigarettes , you dont smoke ? no worrys you do now , now you want to get back on the voice mail but this time tell her how sorry you are for the previous messages , that way she see's your a good guy & able to admit when your wrong , after a few dozen of the im sorry messages & mind numbing amounts of crack , meth & booze you want to change it up on her , for this you'll need a camera & to be clothed but if you allready cut up all your clothes durring a meth fuled hissy fit a window curtian will double as a cape , capes are good for skulking around alleys & fire escapes , now your ready so you want to get to her place & stake the joint out at night with your camera , with any luck you'll catch her & her new boy friend , try n get a good vantage point where you can get pic's of them banging , after getting the pic's creep up to her door & leave a love note asking her to come by your place to talk , now knock on her door loudly & dissapear into the night making your way back home , hurry home cause you got work to do .
Once home get a few tokes off the meth pipe & get the pic's of him doing her printed out but dont add those to the shrine , nail those to another area of the shrine wall with the nails thru his head , if you run out of nails steak knives will do , keep leaving her messages to come over & talk about the break up but be sure not to fall asleep & miss her at the door so from now on no booze , meth & crack only , sooner or later she''ll come by to get you to stop calling & when she does you'll be ready , she'll be impressed by the cape your wearing & now you show her the shrine you built , she'll be so impressed she'll take you back on the spot .
