Jesus christ I can believe this..

misshestermoffitt said:
I bet Jesus fucked...........
Click to expand...

I've had sex MANY times! ;-)

I wouldn't mind having some kids, I'm 23 with My own home paid off in cash!

I actually bought My house when I was 21 with money saved up from working on commercial fishing boats. ;-)

I was engaged ~6 months ago, I was mouring over the loss for about 4 months but now I'm over her and looking for some sane intelligent beautiful exciting women! ;-)

:lol:
 
Conoclast said:
Ye dude you can be in love with jesus.. it's just.. this is a thread about wanking :-?:-?

It's weird.. lol
Click to expand...

I just thought You called My name!

Would You really want to talk about wanking in front of Jesus on the internet?

HAHA I'm not offended or anything, but I'm writing My next Bible!

:weed:
 
Dude you need to become a stealth Jerker… It’s not easy but learn to black it all out in your head and to Fucus on the porn man.
 
Well I do stealth jerk sometimes when they give me the time :D just jerk and keep a watchout lol

But I'm not gonna lock it out and let them catch me jerking off.. wtf
 
wow, no time/space to jackoff...sucks.

However, that seems to be the least of your problems Conoclast (i dig that name). Sounds hokey i know, but good nutrition, exercise, and actively fighting your negative thoughts (behavioral psychology) can actually do wonders for depressed people.

If you are not hearing voices that tell you to kill the neighbor's dog--ditch the meds......seriously. At some point you'll overcome your dependency on any substance (weed included) to feel good about yourself and this world you are stuck in.

Sounds like you are going through a real rough patch and putting a good face on it. Great, keep your sense of humor and stay positive. i hope you come up out of this shit. i'm cheering for you.
 
Those were some nice words murph :)

But I've kinda lost hope so I kinda don't care about stuff anymore, that may be why I'm showing a good face.. I'm like fuck it have a couple of months fucking around and then.. well.. we'll see.. depends on if I'm still feeling hopeless and stuff like that.

Heh :)
 
no heh pimp. look, smart people do dumb shit when they let that shit marinate. it starts to get good to you..you know.....making sense.

i'm not good at being coy, and i've always lacked what they call tact, so let me be blunt: DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!!

nobody knows your pain like u do. i don't pretend to understand or that i've gone through worse shit. sometimes you just get tired of feeling shitty--or nothing at all perhaps. Like i said, i don't pretend to know you or your problems.

what i do know is there is no upside to suicide. if you fail, your life will suck for a while. if you succeed...well then you are dead. if you really want to die, just wait, you will be dead soon enough....50-70 years depending on your age..maybe sooner. You have all of eternity to be dead..why rush it?
 
Ye probabbly got a while, I'm still 18 years old.

And thanks for not saying shit usual people say, like "Dude I'm sure you have it great it's been so hard for me and I'm still here". That kinda talk pisses me off since as you said, nobody knows what I feel.

And I don't know if it's the pain or the boredom that gets me mostly.. it's just that sometimes I can't take it. I mean what's the big deal about killing yourself.. apart from causing a lot of shit for family and friends.. I mean I don't want them to suffer, but I kinda don't want to suffer either.. Sometimes you just got to think for yourself you know?
Right not all that's keeping me here are my plants, I want to at least get my harvest done before :) and I don't really want to leave my parents with pot growing at their home :lol: It's already enough that they let me grow for a while.
 
If those plants are what's keeping you going, then keep on truckin brah. However, think clearly about your actions....please. The pot left in your crib after you pass will easily be dug up and trashed--your folks won't give 2 fuks about you leaving plants in their house--if they no longer have a son.

It would behoove you to use this time to find additional motivation for life. At the very least, find something to demotivate you from ending your life.
 
Do you really want to put your parents through the pain of losing you? People always blame the mother, is that what you want for her? Even of others don't blame her, she will spend the rest of her life wondering what she did wrong. Is that really something you want to do to her?
 
Ye that's what the psychologist keeps telling me murph.. about finding something to motivate me to do stuff..

well missherstermoffitt.. I don't want to put anyone through it.. but I don't want myself to keep going through this either. That's the worst part of it honestly, having to put people through shit.. but it's kind of not putting me off that much. I'm kinda really determined :-?

The worst part is.. I can only talk about it here since I don't want anyone fucking around with me in real life.
 
I think you should not put so much thought into what's bad in your life and put some time and energy into what's good in your life. I've been though lots of crap too, but I won't give up. I need to live at least until weed is legal, that's my goal in life. I want to see the day when tokers are never criminalized ever again.
 
Oh there are a couple of things I want to do, but there's no time. I mean sometimes it's hard to wait for the pot to finish when I get a really shitty day or night. I kinda just accepted what I want and it seems like something that needs to be done.. kind of like a college assignment.. there are things you'd like to do but you have to do it anyway. Get it? lol
 
Conoclast said:
Ye that's what the psychologist keeps telling me murph.. about finding something to motivate me to do stuff..

well missherstermoffitt.. I don't want to put anyone through it.. but I don't want myself to keep going through this either. That's the worst part of it honestly, having to put people through shit.. but it's kind of not putting me off that much. I'm kinda really determined :-?

The worst part is.. I can only talk about it here since I don't want anyone fucking around with me in real life.
Click to expand...

i can dig that. It's like, you don't know if you absolutely want to kill yourself, but if you do decide to, you don't want people trying to stop you. While i admire sensitivity to those that would be left behind, guilt is a pretty weak motivation for survival. It can lead to some trippy thoughts man. Some people start to resent their loved ones for keeping them trapped in this life they no longer want any part of.

Your doc is right imo, you gotta live for you--find something that makes you happy--besides those plants. Another hokey (but effective--trust me) suggestion: go help somebody. Donate a Saturday morning of your time to work in a soup kitchen. Sometimes helping others can be a trememdous mood lifter.
 
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