What Do you Tell the Kids ?????????????

wannasmokeweed

Active Member
Holy COW !!! I was actually looking for some humor as a response to my initial question, not a debate on ethics :)
I am brutally honest with my children and YES my 15 year old DOES need to stop however this is something that has come about in just the last few months. He too is brutally honest with us. The only reason we had the "talk" with him was because my wife's friend calls our house....gets him on the phone, thinks it's ME and says something that she could not take back after she found out it was him. So...... we had the talk and told home that YES, we do smoke and that he should not (hypocrite right) until he has an education and makes a conscious decision as an ADULT to smoke. He has a couple of time since (because I asked and he told me he did) but knowing him the way I do, I am comfortable with the fact that this is not a daily or even a weekly occurrence. t is something that happens from time to time when with friends and the opportunity presents itself. I do not condone this and would intervene if I thought it was getting carried away.
That all being I have not intention of telling any of them up front what is going on as I agree with who ever said "kids just blurt things out sometimes without thinking". They don't NEED to know but if they ask, we will cross that bridge and have some thin ice skating to do on the issue. I also agree that you should not underestimate how wise our children are (and in my case VERY wise). I am sure the younger two have an idea that we smoke but I don't think they would initiate a conversation about, not yet anyway. That day WILL come and I will be as honest with them as I have been their entire lives.
I apologize if my question has initiated any ill will in regard to this topic.
 

doowmd

Well-Known Member
being honest......well sometimes thats a little easier said than done aint it? i can't claim to know the best solution to this parenting problem (I lost my damn parenting instruction book!) but i can tell ya what i've done w/ mine (ages 14, 7, and 3). The 14 year old knows daddy grows but we don't discuss it becuase as i've told him "it's illegal and the less u know the better." my 7 year old was told they were tomato plants and my 3 year old is indifferent. Mainly because i play it cool while he and his brothers are around. i don't freak out and tell em' to 'get outta here' or anything, i just act normal and thats how they take it. bottom line is kids are inquisitive, about forbidden things in paticular, so my advice is this: instead of getting an actual lock, go to lowes or home depot or watevr and look for a new doorknob that looks like the old one w/ a keyed lock on it. that way it isn't quite as noticeable that your actually trying to keep em out of your room. and if something happens that they discover your doors locked, and ask u why, instead of actually answering them, just answer their question w/ another: 'y were u wanting in there?". diversionary tactics: the worlds oldest parenting trick!
 

DJ GreenThumb

Active Member
Holy COW !!! I was actually looking for some humor as a response to my initial question, not a debate on ethics :)
I am brutally honest with my children and YES my 15 year old DOES need to stop however this is something that has come about in just the last few months. He too is brutally honest with us. The only reason we had the "talk" with him was because my wife's friend calls our house....gets him on the phone, thinks it's ME and says something that she could not take back after she found out it was him. So...... we had the talk and told home that YES, we do smoke and that he should not (hypocrite right) until he has an education and makes a conscious decision as an ADULT to smoke. He has a couple of time since (because I asked and he told me he did) but knowing him the way I do, I am comfortable with the fact that this is not a daily or even a weekly occurrence. t is something that happens from time to time when with friends and the opportunity presents itself. I do not condone this and would intervene if I thought it was getting carried away.
That all being I have not intention of telling any of them up front what is going on as I agree with who ever said "kids just blurt things out sometimes without thinking". They don't NEED to know but if they ask, we will cross that bridge and have some thin ice skating to do on the issue. I also agree that you should not underestimate how wise our children are (and in my case VERY wise). I am sure the younger two have an idea that we smoke but I don't think they would initiate a conversation about, not yet anyway. That day WILL come and I will be as honest with them as I have been their entire lives.
I apologize if my question has initiated any ill will in regard to this topic.
I think the debate on ethics is unavoidable with a topic like this because so many people have such strong and polar beliefs when it comes to their children. You seem like a super parent just for that fact that you put this out their and are willing to hear others opinions on the matter. So many parents think they have it dialed and no one could ever offer advice when it comes to raising their kids (I am one of those sometimes:)). Only you know your kids and I am confident that you will do what is best for your situation. Good luck with it......parenting is the hardest AND most rewarding duty anyone will ever have, and there is so much on the line when it comes to growing in a home with children. If you got busted you could lose them. I used to say......ILL NEVER HAVE KIDS.......until I had kids....now I couldn't imagine life without them, they are my best friends and most trusted companions.

You shouldn't feel like a hypocrite telling them not to smoke just because you do. Tell them it is a right you earn, by making it through school, making a career and a home and going to work everyday and making a life for them.

I think inevitably this thread is going to take on a life of its own.
 

Hayduke

Well-Known Member
I am sure the younger two have an idea that we smoke but I don't think they would initiate a conversation about, not yet anyway. That day WILL come and I will be as honest with them as I have been their entire lives.
Just keep in mind that although they may not yet be comfortable initiating such a mature topic with you ...at some point they will with their friends, not understanding the implications.

:leaf::peace::leaf:
 
http://www.justaplant.com/

this author has written a childrens book about marijuana and he has been invited to a few talks shows and stuff. its a very easy unbiased introduction to marijuans for you kids. it basically says that it is for responcible adults only
 

wannasmokeweed

Active Member
I think the debate on ethics is unavoidable with a topic like this because so many people have such strong and polar beliefs when it comes to their children. You seem like a super parent just for that fact that you put this out their and are willing to hear others opinions on the matter. So many parents think they have it dialed and no one could ever offer advice when it comes to raising their kids (I am one of those sometimes:)). Only you know your kids and I am confident that you will do what is best for your situation. Good luck with it......parenting is the hardest AND most rewarding duty anyone will ever have, and there is so much on the line when it comes to growing in a home with children. If you got busted you could lose them. I used to say......ILL NEVER HAVE KIDS.......until I had kids....now I couldn't imagine life without them, they are my best friends and most trusted companions.

You shouldn't feel like a hypocrite telling them not to smoke just because you do. Tell them it is a right you earn, by making it through school, making a career and a home and going to work everyday and making a life for them.

I think inevitably this thread is going to take on a life of its own.
Thanks DJ. I think this thread is far from over :)
 

wannasmokeweed

Active Member
Just keep in mind that although they may not yet be comfortable initiating such a mature topic with you ...at some point they will with their friends, not understanding the implications.

:leaf::peace::leaf:
VERY good point Duke !! SO...... would you initiate it first? Not the topic of growing but of consumption?
 

budlover13

King Tut
It's just good that people are willing to discuss different views and ideas on the subject. I have one child, 11 years old next Friday. His mom left us when he was 5, so he and I learned to trust each other. To this day I am STILL the only one he TRULY trusts. Not saying it's the answer for everyone, but the one thing I have NEVER done to him is lie. Every once in awhile I give him the"You're too young." line and he either accepts it(usually) or pushes and says "No I'm not!". I figure if he gets his facts from me instead of friends, internet, etc., at least I know he hasn't been misled. I'll definitely be checking back on this one!
 

wannasmokeweed

Active Member
It's just good that people are willing to discuss different views and ideas on the subject. I have one child, 11 years old next Friday. His mom left us when he was 5, so he and I learned to trust each other. To this day I am STILL the only one he TRULY trusts. Not saying it's the answer for everyone, but the one thing I have NEVER done to him is lie. Every once in awhile I give him the"You're too young." line and he either accepts it(usually) or pushes and says "No I'm not!". I figure if he gets his facts from me instead of friends, internet, etc., at least I know he hasn't been misled. I'll definitely be checking back on this one!
I like your approach Budlover. I have been brutally honest with my children, I guess I am just fortunate to date that the youngest two (girls) have yet to say "hey dad, do you smoke weed" I am ready and willing to hear that question, just curious to see what other think their answer will be :) Now, that being said, I really do NOT want to feild the question "hey dad, do you GROW weed" ! I guess I would answer that one with the only answer also. I think if the topic is not tabu and they are getting their information from ME (thanks Duke) and not the internet, public school system etc. then it is easier to swallow. Truly, I would rather my children smoke (when they are old enough to rationalize all angles of it) than drink.
 

robert 14617

Well-Known Member
my kids were grown and out on there own before i started growing , i shared what needed to be shared i was the parent along with my wife we didn't need to be there best buddies , they have plenty of friends and if i were to grow its not information that the kids would need to know , do you let them look over the checkbook each mo. so they know about your finances
 

irieie

Well-Known Member
if you are growing with in your local laws,there is no reason why you should not be honest with your children. If you are not within the laws i would not grow for your children 's sake. Imagine how horrible it would be if you got caught and CPS took your children away and split up your family. smoking pot is one thing, but manufacturing with children in the house will not be taken lightly. If it is really that important to you, maybe you should move to a MMJ area. If you are legal, i dont see the problem.
 

sk'mo

Active Member
IMO, You need to lock the doors to the bedroom and the grow-space... One good enough to deter a determined 15 year old. Not because of anything to do with trusting your kids, but because if, Heaven forbid, the day were to come and you are busted, CAS will have something to say about "production of a controlled substance in the presence of minors.". Especially if Bill S-10 passes (I'm assuming you're Canuck.). The courts aren't going to want to break up a family over someone growing only enough pot for personal use to cut out the risk of exposing themselves to real criminal activity, and takes more than reasonable steps to ensure that their own children cannot gain access to said substance, are they?

I can't really comment on what to tell your kids, since I don't have any, but you do need to protect them from the dangers of Marihuana... The law.
 

wannasmokeweed

Active Member
I do not live in the USA and where I live, the laws are somewhat lax to say the least. I would get a fine and not spend a day in jail for what I am doing where I am. My children would NOT be taken away from me however they may endure some ridicule from others that are not so liberal toward this topic.
I am not a drug dealer, I do not sell anything. What I am doing is for ME and ME alone and I have actually thought of taking this debate on the road. I am not hurting anyone, selling drugs to children or chemically manufacturing something that is evil (unless you are the Po Po) !
The amount of money that is spent on enforcement of what I feel is a harmless hobby (which is how I think of growing) is enough to feed the homeless for years !!
Just my opinion !
 

wannasmokeweed

Active Member
IMO, You need to lock the doors to the bedroom and the grow-space... One good enough to deter a determined 15 year old. Not because of anything to do with trusting your kids, but because if, Heaven forbid, the day were to come and you are busted, CAS will have something to say about "production of a controlled substance in the presence of minors.". Especially if Bill S-10 passes (I'm assuming you're Canuck.). The courts aren't going to want to break up a family over someone growing only enough pot for personal use to cut out the risk of exposing themselves to real criminal activity, and takes more than reasonable steps to ensure that their own children cannot gain access to said substance, are they?

I can't really comment on what to tell your kids, since I don't have any, but you do need to protect them from the dangers of Marihuana... The law.
I totally agree. If what I am doing is for ME and ME alone, I have taken the steps to keep my children from access, the courts are NOT going to take my kids and throw me in jail. I am not producing enough to supply the country !
Thanks for the comments sk'mo ! Appreciated ! Respect !
 

Dezracer

Well-Known Member
I have two kids ages 3 and 6. I don't smoke cigarettes so I don't smoke weed either. I do use a vape and I make edibles for night time but they don't ever see me use the vape because it's in the grow room and up too ghigh for them to be able to see. They both know I have health issues and they know I make 'special' cookies and stuff for myself with 'special' butter that has my medicine in it. I think it's easier for me since they're young and I know that eventually they will need to know what my medicine actually is. I will be honest with them and that will be that.
One thing I did do and I'm not sure how many parents do this is I started growing stuff other than MJ as well and I include my kids in that. My son likes to help mix soil, plant seeds and prune the non MJ plants and my daughter likes to help water the soil ones and stuff. They have asked me before when they see my MJ plants what they are and I told them they are plants that grow flowers that I turn into my medicine. They've even seen some of the flowers while they're still on the plants and all they say is they're ugly flowers.

My grow is legal so I don't worry too much about having to be taken away from my kids but a little concern is always there since I'm only covered under state law and not federal law. I just try to keep things legit the best I can and I don't tell anyone I grow.

There was one time I worried a little when he put down a project the YMCA that he grows stuff his dad as one of favorite things to do with dad. But then I just brought in some pics of our outdoor hydro setup and pics of him with a bunch of vegetable plants as well as some kick ass tomatoes, carrots and snap peas to the Y for show and tell. The Y leaders were impressed with how good everything tasted compared to what they get from the stores. I just laughed...

Anyway, best of luck to you.
 
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