You are not understanding what I am saying, I am not claiming anything on your current wisdom. I am stating that when that day comes when these answers you are seeking are answered to you, as they currently have not been yet, will you accept them? I am not trying to undermine your current wisdom at all.
And free will comes at all times, we have the ability to deliberately sin as christians, though that would cause us to fall away from God, and we have the ability to believe in Christ. Jesus wouldn't say anyone who believes has the right to become children of God. Instead he would have said anyone I make to believe. People take out of context this single verse in most churches which leads to a false notion of predestination. "No one can come to me unless the Father has drawn them" is what is taken out of context, and not put together with the rest of the bible which clearly shows free will. It all fits together, much like a puzzle, you cant take a few pieces and claim to know what the full piece is like. You can throw out some suggestions and some possible answers, but you cant be sure until you see the whole picture. Anything could be drawn in art, just like there are things in the bible that have to be understood in the full context of the book.