There's a fucking squirrel up in the tree..

Yeah, there's a fucking squirrel dropping all kinds of pine tree CRAP onto the Jeep. Little motherfucker, I want to SHOOT YEW! I wish I had a bb gun, quiet and it would ping that little fucker's ass butt good!

I can hear shit dropping this whole time I'm typing, it's making me FURIOUS!

trap em and release em in a park somewhere .. or eat him

Don't shoot the poor lil fella move your Jeep!

I detest squirrels. They decimate bird populations, and they're dirty. One or more have recently moved into our area (trees on our property). They're not welcome. I must devise a plan. I might move the Jeep, but that won't get rid of the squirrel. Little fucker's still dropping shit all over! Little fucking squirrel, I hate you.

Squirrels are mean and they have HUGE testicles!

You're living in his habitat. Damn squirrels for not packing up and moving when the humans took over.

I just went and yelled at him. Like a crazy person. Neighbor across the street started laughing at me and suggested a paintball gun as another form of amusement. I wish I had better aim.

Biggravy22 said:

You're living in his habitat. Damn squirrels for not packing up and moving when the humans took over.

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Bullshit, there's plenty of other habitat that's not right over where we park our cars. There are at least a half a dozen other trees. There have been no squirrels here since we moved in. Down with squirrels!

Seamaiden said:

Bullshit, there's plenty of other habitat that's not right over where we park our cars. There are at least a half a dozen other trees. There have been no squirrels here since we moved in. Down with squirrels!

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I hope you wake up to two squirrels fucking on your hood.

AAAHHH!! NOOO!! THEY'RE FUCKING IN MY TREE!!!! lmao.

I tore the trim I'd just nailed up and painted off my house in a futile battle with these nasty tree rats. Several live within these walls and there's really not a lot one can do about it himself. I finally decided to co-exist. For every squirrel detester, there's always two artsy-fartsy neighbors encouraging them to remain by feeding them.
I heard from a trapper friend I called about getting rid of mine that they hate loud music and pumping it into their nests will result in their moving on. In my case, that'd just mean them chewing a new hole somewhere in the siding. Those guy's will chew thru anything in their way.
Save yourself a bunch of stress and either kill them, spend the dough to have them professionally removed, or give up. Let us know if you beat them somehow.

They pretty much laugh at me and my Red Ryder.

Seamaiden said:

AAAHHH!! NOOO!! THEY'RE FUCKING IN MY TREE!!!! lmao.

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Tape it and post it on the internet. Squirrel porn. Okay im gonna stop.

seamaiden said:

aaahhh!! Nooo!! They're fucking in my tree!!!! Lmao.

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bahahahahahaha

Squirrels??? I think you need more problems

Hey Sea, dam, be cool. I've been dealing with Squirrels since 67. My plant Babies are in the field. One container that has a 30" plant in it now has broken acorns in it, from a squirrel. It hasn't touched my plants. Feed the thing bird seed, make it a pet. They are awesome. They are one of my favorite meals, but I don't kill the ones nearby, they are my pets. They are SOO cool to watch. Hang a woven basket within eye-sight of your sitting area, add a cup of bird seed, and enjoy the show. Trust me on this one. Until otherwise corrected, It's name is Fuzzies. Is it Fox or Cat Squirrel? Orange or white belly?

I ordered seeds from wild world seed bank and a little package came. In the package was a stuff little squirrell with no seeds. I know about stealth so I started looking at the squirrel. I lifted his tail and shoved my little finger up the squirrels hole. It was pacted with peanut butter, about a thimble full. After I got it out no seeds, so I put my little finger all the way up to the knuckle. I could feel something on the end of my finger, but could not pull it out. So I turned the squirrel around and looked down its throat. There was my wild world seeds. Now I love squirrels.

Seamaiden said:

Yeah, there's a fucking squirrel dropping all kinds of pine tree CRAP onto the Jeep. Little motherfucker, I want to SHOOT YEW! I wish I had a bb gun, quiet and it would ping that little fucker's ass butt good!

I can hear shit dropping this whole time I'm typing, it's making me FURIOUS!

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Squirrels may be "cute" .... but they are also nasty tree rats! Get your garden hose with high pressure nozzel and blast those little fuckers out of the tree! If they come back... blast em again. Sooner or later they will learn that that tree = water blast and not come back.... or perhaps they'll drown. Either way.... problem solved

Hey.. I can get him when he's in the pine across from the deck. I don't think I can get him when he's over the car, though.. that's a good idea, and cooling, too.

Don't hate on ME, hate on my SQUIRREL.

I had to go Elmer Fudd on those tree rats. I will normally leave them alone, but once they breached my domain, they are fair game. I inadvertently covered their escape hole up, I did not think they were in there at the time. But the little fuckers chewed holes in my drywall and ended up in the house, five of them. At that point it was fair game. I gave them a chance, I opened all the doors, but at the same time I had the BB gun. Those things are the most destructive creatures around, they have done about a 1000 bucks worth of damage in my attic. But I finally resolved that issue.

Ping! Pow! WHAM! pop!

Squirrels inspire many onomatopoeic words. The above was the sound of the hammer being dropped upon dem squirrels.


zzzZZZzzzZZZZZIINGGGGG!!!!!!!!! <--Squirrel on a bad trip.