110100100
Well-Known Member
I'm 40some years old and have a lot of toking under my belt. I've had to deal with the cops while stoned off my ass more times than I'd like to remember. I've been patted down a few times while I had pot in my pocket and I've NEVER been busted. I just thought I'd share some tips I've picked up/noticed over the years that have helped keep me safe.
1. If you look shady you ARE shady.
We've all seen someone that looked shady. That looked like he/she was up to something and chances are they were. Cops know to look for this so you want to always try to act like you belong where you are, doing what you're doing.
I was on my way home at about 3am one day and as I turned a corner these two dudes walking down the street do a quick about face acting like they were walking to the nearby bus stop. Both ducking/turning their heads a bit so I couldn't see their faces. I'm not a dime dropper but I called LEO when I got home and asked that a car be sent to check them out and sure enough they were caught trying to break into one of my neighbors house.
They looked shady.
Now I wouldn't recommend that anyone toke out in the open or in a moving car but I've done it and better still I see MANY other people doing it all the time while I'm out driving around. If you pay attention and look for other people doing these next few tips in other cars as you ride around you'll see just how many people do it and just how obvious it is.
2. The head duck.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Many people duck their heads down when lighting a bowl or taking a hit. They generally raise their elbows up and out to the sides too. Cops know to look for this and it's SO obvious it's not even funny. Sit up normally and act like what you're doing is 100% normal. Just be aware of your surroundings. (more on that in a min) Even a slight dip of the head and or raising of elbows that many people do when lighting up is a dead giveaway.
3. The shoulder dip.
Any time you're pulled over by the cops and have something you shouldn't have the first reaction is to hide it somewhere. Cops watch as they pull you over looking for the tell tale signs that you or someone else in the car is trying to stash something. It can be as obvious as someones head disappearing from view for a bit or as subtle as your shoulder dipping down as you lean or reach to stash something.
If you HAVE to try and stash something make sure the movement you make keeps your head and shoulders where they should be if you were just driving along. Try to only move your arm keeping your shoulders level. If you make any movements that look like your hiding something you're going to get searched.
I've slipped a bowl or a roach into my pocket a few times when needed but did it slowly without making it obvious.
4. The pregnant guppy.
Learn to roll a good joint. I've rode right past LEO with a doober in my mouth more than once and have NEVER had a problem. But I can roll both a nice, even american style joint or a perfect european style cone with a "roach" or tip. They don't look like pregnant guppies they look like cigarettes. Also don't freak out and try to pull a joint or bowl down real fast if your hitting one and notice the cop at the wrong time. Just act like nothing is wrong, like you're smoking a cig or scratching your face.
5. Don't cup the joint.
Many people will try to hide the fact they are smoking a joint by cupping their hand around it while they hit it. You're actually making it more obvious that it's a joint that way. Most people do not smoke cigarettes that way and by cupping it while you hit it you're making yourself look out of the ordinary. (shady)
6. The red hot cherry AKA DON'T STEAM THE JOINT!
The way most of us smoke pot by hitting it hard and holding it as long as possible is actually totally unnecessary. THC passes into the blood stream almost instantly so holding the hit is pointless. But more importantly way too many of us will hit the SHIT out of a joint and then pass it to the next person that does the same thing and so on. This gives you that really long cherry on the joint we're all used to seeing. Pot already burns hotter than a cigarette does and the cherry will glow much brighter on a joint. So much so that you can tell the difference even in the daylight if you're looking for it and cops know to look. Smoke joints slow and evenly and it's best to let it rest a bit in between hits so you don't get that long red hot cherry.
7. The color of smoke.
Pot has more oil in it than tobacco and because of that the smoke is a different color. Pot smoke is blue while cigarette smoke is whiter. I'd recommend if you or someone you're with smokes cigarettes that they always keep one burning while your toking. Cops know the difference between the color of the smokes and they look for it. Pay attention and you'll see what I'm talking about. I can tell just from seeing someone exhale which they are smoking.
8. Pay attention to your surroundings and try to obey all other laws.
Sounds pretty common sense but like I said I see people toking out and about all the time. I've had a couple of friends that got busted while smoking a tin foil bowl while sitting at a stoplight one time. They were not paying attention to the school bus that pulled up along side of them and one of the kids told the driver who alerted police via the radio. I also had an ex-GF that used to love to tell the story of how she pulled up along side of a buick one day at a light only to look over and see the driver masturbating, totally oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. Don't speed, don't hollywood any stop signs don't toss trash...and I'd always make sure nobody was close enough to see what I was doing. Don't be obvious either when looking around or you'll look shady.
9. Know your rights.
I've been patted down a few times WITH BUDS ON ME and never been busted. First time was in high school. I was a bit late getting to drivers ed one day because I had stopped at someone's locker to buy a 1/4 ounce. I walk in and there is one desk left at the very front of the class and a state trooper standing at the front of the room...I'm thinking "this isn't good". The bag is in my front jean pocket and lemme tell ya those jeans were TIGHT. The officer was there to tell us what we could expect if we were ever stopped while driving and you KNOW he picked me to help him do the demonstration. I was scared shitless but I kept calm and everything was fine. What he told us was that even if we consented to a search of the vehicle that the officer only had the right to pat down the outsides of our pockets. He had no right to go into my pocket unless he had probable cause. And he showed us by patting me down. You could CLEARLY see the quarter in my pocket but he just gave me a light pat down and everything was fine.
A few months later some friends and I were on our way to a local racetrack for street night where you get to run your own car down the 1/4 mile. We toked up before we left and while almost there on the highway I got pulled over for speeding. (NOT SMART!) During the stop the officer asks if he can search the car. I know not to consent but I know there is nothing to find in the car so I consent. I was still a bit baked and kinda forgot about the bowl and 1/8th in my pocket but I knew there was nothing to find in the car itself. The cop asked if I had any weapons so I pulled my small, legal pocket knife out and said thats it. He patted me down and all of a sudden he starts going "WHAT'S THIS, WHAT'S THIS?" He's got my bowl through my pants with both hands and you can SEE its the shape of a pipe. I almost cracked but then I relaxed, and said "I don't know I have a lot of stuff in my pockets money, a lighter, keys...I have no idea what you're feeling" To which he says "yeah right" and then he kept at it badgering me about what it was. I just stood my ground because I KNEW if he had probable cause he wouldn't be asking me he'd be cuffing me and pulling shit out of my pockets and I was right. He moved on to find the bag through my pants and was crunching it so hard you could hear it even with cars whizzing by at 55MPH. Again he tried asking what it was and I repeated "I have no idea what your feeling". I ended up getting a written warning for doing 110 in a 55 zone (I kid you not, he actually wrote 110 in a 55 on the warning) and we were let to go on our merry way.
Times have changed a bit since then and I'm sure most cops would not have let me go into my pocket for that knife so beware if you carry one but the point to the story is I knew my rights and was not about to let some cop intimidate me into incriminating myself. Learn more about your rights here at NORML's website.
Oh BTW he asked if I wanted to know why he wanted to search the car in the first place and not being one to pass on a free education I said "sure". He said there were 3 people smoking cigarettes in the car and nothing in the ashtray. We had emptied it before we got on the road and nobody had smoked till he stopped us. He said he assumed we had been smoking a joint and dumped the ashtray before he could catch up to us.
That's also why I only got a written warning. When he clocked me at 110 he was heading the other way on the highway and he couldn't get turned around before he lost sight of my vehicle. Even though my car had a very unique paint job with racing stripes and large block lettering down the rocker panels, because he lost sight of my vehicle he could not write the ticket. A good cop friend of mine told me I could argue in court that it was not my car he saw and it would have been tossed out. (I have a few friends that are cops and cool that I've talked with about all the things listed here at length)
10.Remain clam, be polite and choose your words carefully if you have to speak at all.
Most people freak when their stoned and have to deal with the cops and obviously thats not a good thing to do. I know it can be tough because you might be feeling a bit paranoid from the bud to begin with but keeping a level head in stressful or emergency situations is paramount to getting through them unscathed. Remain polite no matter what and if you HAVE to say anything (best not too) watch what you say, I've had cops accuse me of being a "smartass" when answering a question and I was absolutely not being a dick. I know the difference.
11. Always assume that cop is going to pull you over.
If you see a cop turn around or pull onto the street behind you assume you will be pulled over and act accordingly. Normally you will have a bit of time to stash something and or open windows if you need to. Use what ever time you have wisely! I always had a can of Ozium or a body spray within reach I could use to help with any smells I didn't want smelled. Be aware that many cops will pull in behind a car and FLY UP on to your bumper to try and freak you out a bit and see how you react. Also know that most of the time they will not turn the lights on until they are right behind you.
That's it for now, if I think of anything else I'll add it.
I hope you never have to deal with the cops for any reason at any time but if you do I hope these tips help you get through it without any problems!
1. If you look shady you ARE shady.
We've all seen someone that looked shady. That looked like he/she was up to something and chances are they were. Cops know to look for this so you want to always try to act like you belong where you are, doing what you're doing.
I was on my way home at about 3am one day and as I turned a corner these two dudes walking down the street do a quick about face acting like they were walking to the nearby bus stop. Both ducking/turning their heads a bit so I couldn't see their faces. I'm not a dime dropper but I called LEO when I got home and asked that a car be sent to check them out and sure enough they were caught trying to break into one of my neighbors house.
They looked shady.
Now I wouldn't recommend that anyone toke out in the open or in a moving car but I've done it and better still I see MANY other people doing it all the time while I'm out driving around. If you pay attention and look for other people doing these next few tips in other cars as you ride around you'll see just how many people do it and just how obvious it is.
2. The head duck.
You know exactly what I'm talking about. Many people duck their heads down when lighting a bowl or taking a hit. They generally raise their elbows up and out to the sides too. Cops know to look for this and it's SO obvious it's not even funny. Sit up normally and act like what you're doing is 100% normal. Just be aware of your surroundings. (more on that in a min) Even a slight dip of the head and or raising of elbows that many people do when lighting up is a dead giveaway.
3. The shoulder dip.
Any time you're pulled over by the cops and have something you shouldn't have the first reaction is to hide it somewhere. Cops watch as they pull you over looking for the tell tale signs that you or someone else in the car is trying to stash something. It can be as obvious as someones head disappearing from view for a bit or as subtle as your shoulder dipping down as you lean or reach to stash something.
If you HAVE to try and stash something make sure the movement you make keeps your head and shoulders where they should be if you were just driving along. Try to only move your arm keeping your shoulders level. If you make any movements that look like your hiding something you're going to get searched.
I've slipped a bowl or a roach into my pocket a few times when needed but did it slowly without making it obvious.
4. The pregnant guppy.
Learn to roll a good joint. I've rode right past LEO with a doober in my mouth more than once and have NEVER had a problem. But I can roll both a nice, even american style joint or a perfect european style cone with a "roach" or tip. They don't look like pregnant guppies they look like cigarettes. Also don't freak out and try to pull a joint or bowl down real fast if your hitting one and notice the cop at the wrong time. Just act like nothing is wrong, like you're smoking a cig or scratching your face.
5. Don't cup the joint.
Many people will try to hide the fact they are smoking a joint by cupping their hand around it while they hit it. You're actually making it more obvious that it's a joint that way. Most people do not smoke cigarettes that way and by cupping it while you hit it you're making yourself look out of the ordinary. (shady)
6. The red hot cherry AKA DON'T STEAM THE JOINT!
The way most of us smoke pot by hitting it hard and holding it as long as possible is actually totally unnecessary. THC passes into the blood stream almost instantly so holding the hit is pointless. But more importantly way too many of us will hit the SHIT out of a joint and then pass it to the next person that does the same thing and so on. This gives you that really long cherry on the joint we're all used to seeing. Pot already burns hotter than a cigarette does and the cherry will glow much brighter on a joint. So much so that you can tell the difference even in the daylight if you're looking for it and cops know to look. Smoke joints slow and evenly and it's best to let it rest a bit in between hits so you don't get that long red hot cherry.
7. The color of smoke.
Pot has more oil in it than tobacco and because of that the smoke is a different color. Pot smoke is blue while cigarette smoke is whiter. I'd recommend if you or someone you're with smokes cigarettes that they always keep one burning while your toking. Cops know the difference between the color of the smokes and they look for it. Pay attention and you'll see what I'm talking about. I can tell just from seeing someone exhale which they are smoking.
8. Pay attention to your surroundings and try to obey all other laws.
Sounds pretty common sense but like I said I see people toking out and about all the time. I've had a couple of friends that got busted while smoking a tin foil bowl while sitting at a stoplight one time. They were not paying attention to the school bus that pulled up along side of them and one of the kids told the driver who alerted police via the radio. I also had an ex-GF that used to love to tell the story of how she pulled up along side of a buick one day at a light only to look over and see the driver masturbating, totally oblivious to the fact that he was being watched. Don't speed, don't hollywood any stop signs don't toss trash...and I'd always make sure nobody was close enough to see what I was doing. Don't be obvious either when looking around or you'll look shady.
9. Know your rights.
I've been patted down a few times WITH BUDS ON ME and never been busted. First time was in high school. I was a bit late getting to drivers ed one day because I had stopped at someone's locker to buy a 1/4 ounce. I walk in and there is one desk left at the very front of the class and a state trooper standing at the front of the room...I'm thinking "this isn't good". The bag is in my front jean pocket and lemme tell ya those jeans were TIGHT. The officer was there to tell us what we could expect if we were ever stopped while driving and you KNOW he picked me to help him do the demonstration. I was scared shitless but I kept calm and everything was fine. What he told us was that even if we consented to a search of the vehicle that the officer only had the right to pat down the outsides of our pockets. He had no right to go into my pocket unless he had probable cause. And he showed us by patting me down. You could CLEARLY see the quarter in my pocket but he just gave me a light pat down and everything was fine.
A few months later some friends and I were on our way to a local racetrack for street night where you get to run your own car down the 1/4 mile. We toked up before we left and while almost there on the highway I got pulled over for speeding. (NOT SMART!) During the stop the officer asks if he can search the car. I know not to consent but I know there is nothing to find in the car so I consent. I was still a bit baked and kinda forgot about the bowl and 1/8th in my pocket but I knew there was nothing to find in the car itself. The cop asked if I had any weapons so I pulled my small, legal pocket knife out and said thats it. He patted me down and all of a sudden he starts going "WHAT'S THIS, WHAT'S THIS?" He's got my bowl through my pants with both hands and you can SEE its the shape of a pipe. I almost cracked but then I relaxed, and said "I don't know I have a lot of stuff in my pockets money, a lighter, keys...I have no idea what you're feeling" To which he says "yeah right" and then he kept at it badgering me about what it was. I just stood my ground because I KNEW if he had probable cause he wouldn't be asking me he'd be cuffing me and pulling shit out of my pockets and I was right. He moved on to find the bag through my pants and was crunching it so hard you could hear it even with cars whizzing by at 55MPH. Again he tried asking what it was and I repeated "I have no idea what your feeling". I ended up getting a written warning for doing 110 in a 55 zone (I kid you not, he actually wrote 110 in a 55 on the warning) and we were let to go on our merry way.
Times have changed a bit since then and I'm sure most cops would not have let me go into my pocket for that knife so beware if you carry one but the point to the story is I knew my rights and was not about to let some cop intimidate me into incriminating myself. Learn more about your rights here at NORML's website.
Oh BTW he asked if I wanted to know why he wanted to search the car in the first place and not being one to pass on a free education I said "sure". He said there were 3 people smoking cigarettes in the car and nothing in the ashtray. We had emptied it before we got on the road and nobody had smoked till he stopped us. He said he assumed we had been smoking a joint and dumped the ashtray before he could catch up to us.
That's also why I only got a written warning. When he clocked me at 110 he was heading the other way on the highway and he couldn't get turned around before he lost sight of my vehicle. Even though my car had a very unique paint job with racing stripes and large block lettering down the rocker panels, because he lost sight of my vehicle he could not write the ticket. A good cop friend of mine told me I could argue in court that it was not my car he saw and it would have been tossed out. (I have a few friends that are cops and cool that I've talked with about all the things listed here at length)
10.Remain clam, be polite and choose your words carefully if you have to speak at all.
Most people freak when their stoned and have to deal with the cops and obviously thats not a good thing to do. I know it can be tough because you might be feeling a bit paranoid from the bud to begin with but keeping a level head in stressful or emergency situations is paramount to getting through them unscathed. Remain polite no matter what and if you HAVE to say anything (best not too) watch what you say, I've had cops accuse me of being a "smartass" when answering a question and I was absolutely not being a dick. I know the difference.
11. Always assume that cop is going to pull you over.
If you see a cop turn around or pull onto the street behind you assume you will be pulled over and act accordingly. Normally you will have a bit of time to stash something and or open windows if you need to. Use what ever time you have wisely! I always had a can of Ozium or a body spray within reach I could use to help with any smells I didn't want smelled. Be aware that many cops will pull in behind a car and FLY UP on to your bumper to try and freak you out a bit and see how you react. Also know that most of the time they will not turn the lights on until they are right behind you.
That's it for now, if I think of anything else I'll add it.
I hope you never have to deal with the cops for any reason at any time but if you do I hope these tips help you get through it without any problems!
