life turned upside down...in one day

UncleBuck said:

i don't know, wanting to grow weed seems like something you might break up with a short term GF for, not a wife though.that's just me. i thought at least one other person would see it that way, i waited, no one did, so i piped up.oh well.

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My "wife" should not want to change me..she should have unconditional accepatance and love for me....my "wife" should not want to take the one thing I have for me...for myself..that gives me happiness(growing)...I honestly work 84 hour weekd...12 hour shift..I flip my lights on and off befor and after each shift..the growing came abt bcause she was complaining abt $ spent on smoke as I'm a daily smoker and this was well known pre marriage...she was a daily smoker then also..that changed later along w many other nazi type tactics......so I started growing..quite succesfuly actualy and found my passion...she hated this...envied it..idk what the deal was but day aftr day...fight aftr fight..I was getting closer to the door....call me a douche or whatever but I'm not abt to let anyone change who I am..I told her flat out how important weed is to me pre dating..to make sure it wldnt b an issue...."haha..no no no..I smoke too...if that's all I got to worry abt we're good"...her words..."ok cool"..my words....then she saw and lived how important weed is to me...and she was cool..at first...2 year relationship one year masrriage...old high school girl friend reunited on FB 18years later.

And it wasn't all abt the plants...I had four going at the time and she wasn't sweating me abt em...the plants were the stepping stone for a bad vibe...which I believe allows bad spirits to wanna hang around and stir up shit..other fights...when that negative energy is in the air they feed off that shit...so she's bein a bitch..which throws me in a fkd up place....so there's tension...so not only do we fight abt the plants we seem to gradually fight abt this n that til it was everything...anything.....idk exactly how and when evrything when wrong I just know it went wrong...maybe I'm not a relationship type dude...first marriage...her 3rd.....?????

Thanks to everyone for the comments and interest/concern...my fones not letting me "like" comments stil.

ClaytonBigsby said:

Apparently. They were ships passing in the night anyway. She had three kids of her own. Seems nobody appreciated him. Sometime you have to say enough is enough. If they were not married would you think he was a douche?I do wonder, if the 80 hour weeks continue, what will happen to the dog....

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Dog will b fine....she can hang out round the house for 12 a day by herslf...maybe ill get her a buddy.

Ouch! Sorry for your loss!

chewberto said:

Ouch! Sorry for your loss!

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Thanks bro...she's asking me to cme bk...idk what to do really...I worry abt her..she's an emotional mess...and I do love her...but my gut screams no when I think abt moving bk in....this is a tuff move

Love is a choice. You need to make the decision based off of what you want and what is best for you because it is your life. Think of all the things that you want and want to do in your life, can you do it with her in your life? My fiancé and I may not like some of things that each other do but we damn sure don't stop each other from doing it. If you want to have a successful relationship and fulfilling life, then you need to make sure that you settle down with somebody that you are not going to despise by the age of 80. I almost made that mistake and thank my lucky stars that I didn't.

Scrotie Mcboogerballs said:

Love is a choice. You need to make the decision based off of what you want and what is best for you because it is your life. Think of all the things that you want and want to do in your life, can you do it with her in your life? My fiancé and I may not like some of things that each other do but we damn sure don't stop each other from doing it. If you want to have a successful relationship and fulfilling life, then you need to make sure that you settle down with somebody that you are not going to despise by the age of 80. I almost made that mistake and thank my lucky stars that I didn't.

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Yeah I know...and the fact that I'm even questioning it should be answer enuf in itself....

Mr.Vega said:

Yeah I know...and the fact that I'm even questioning it should be answer enuf in itself....

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Not necessarily. I always question things, happy or not. The thing that keeps me around isn't the question but the answer. Is my life better with my partner? Yup. That's 'enuf'.

Better yet, am I a better person with her? Is she a better person with me? If a relationship is toxic, it can make you a toxic person.

Mr.Vega said:

My "wife" should not want to change me..she should have unconditional accepatance and love for me....my "wife" should not want to take the one thing I have for me...for myself..that gives me happiness(growing)...I honestly work 84 hour weekd...12 hour shift..I flip my lights on and off befor and after each shift..the growing came abt bcause she was complaining abt $ spent on smoke as I'm a daily smoker and this was well known pre marriage...she was a daily smoker then also..that changed later along w many other nazi type tactics......so I started growing..quite succesfuly actualy and found my passion...she hated this...envied it..idk what the deal was but day aftr day...fight aftr fight..I was getting closer to the door....call me a douche or whatever but I'm not abt to let anyone change who I am..I told her flat out how important weed is to me pre dating..to make sure it wldnt b an issue...."haha..no no no..I smoke too...if that's all I got to worry abt we're good"...her words..."ok cool"..my words....then she saw and lived how important weed is to me...and she was cool..at first...2 year relationship one year masrriage...old high school girl friend reunited on FB 18years later.

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Dammit UB & Clayton. I tried. I really did try to be sweet and kind because frankly I think he and she are better off apart. After all more than 67% of second marriages fail and that stat raises to 75% for a third. Throw kids in and it's best they are apart. Then no matter who was the turd in the punchbowl it still hurts like hell to break apart. But, having said that......

I'm also going to overlook the fact the OP Godwined his own thread.

First white space is your friend not ellipses.

No relationship is ever one of unconditional acceptance. If my kid was the Unibomber I'd turn his ass in. I would consider it my moral duty and my claim to a place in a POLITE society. Maybe the children of today are raised with unconditional acceptance and maybe that is part of the problem with our society.

Maybe we should NOT accept lying, cheating, murder, torture, robbery, rape. Maybe we should have some conditions upon which you are removed from society. OH WAIT!! You didn't mean THAT? Well when you say unconditional you sort of hoisted yourself by your own petard.

One last piece of advice get a spell chicken.

curious2garden said:

Dammit UB & Clayton. I tried. I really did try to be sweet and kind because frankly I think he and she are better off apart. After all more than 67% of second marriages fail and that stat raises to 75% for a third. Throw kids in and it's best they are apart. Then no matter who was the turd in the punchbowl it still hurts like hell to break apart. Butting having said that......

I'm also going to overlook the fact the OP Godwined his own thread.

First white space is your friend not ellipses.

No relationship is ever one of unconditional acceptance. If my kid was the Unibomber I'd turn his ass in. I would consider it my moral duty and my claim to a place in a POLITE society. Maybe the children of today are raised with unconditional acceptance and maybe that is part of the problem with our society.

Maybe we should NOT accept lying, cheating, murder, torture, robbery, rape. Maybe we should have some conditions upon which you are removed from society. OH WAIT!! You didn't mean THAT? Well when you say unconditional you sort of hoisted yourself by your own petard.

One last piece of advice get a spell chicken.

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.........................

curious2garden said:

Dammit UB & Clayton. I tried. I really did try to be sweet and kind because frankly I think he and she are better off apart. After all more than 67% of second marriages fail and that stat raises to 75% for a third. Throw kids in and it's best they are apart. Then no matter who was the turd in the punchbowl it still hurts like hell to break apart. But, having said that......I'm also going to overlook the fact the OP Godwined his own thread.First white space is your friend not ellipses. No relationship is ever one of unconditional acceptance. If my kid was the Unibomber I'd turn his ass in. I would consider it my moral duty and my claim to a place in a POLITE society. Maybe the children of today are raised with unconditional acceptance and maybe that is part of the problem with our society.Maybe we should NOT accept lying, cheating, murder, torture, robbery, rape. Maybe we should have some conditions upon which you are removed from society. OH WAIT!! You didn't mean THAT? Well when you say unconditional you sort of hoisted yourself by your own petard.One last piece of advice get a spell chicken.

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....yeah i ve read this twice and I'm lost...but thsts prob because u and I are two ppl at completely diff ends of the spectrum...i have a son and I would never turn him in for anything...no matter what the circumstances...who am I to judge another human being....or point a finger n say he did this or that...and the list of bad things u said above that we should not accept I agree with....I was growing a couple plants in my garage so I didn't have to buy it anymore...moneys tight enuf as it is so since there's not a weed bill anymore things have been a little easier......idk what ur saying in ur post so its hard for me to respond......u use words I don't know the meaning to and kinda got off topic....u lost me anyway...what are u trying to say?....and just because I don't go bk and correct all typos and mispelling doesn't mean I don't recognize them...I could honestly care less abt that.

Mr.Vega said:

....yeah i ve read this twice and I'm lost...but thsts prob because u and I are two ppl at completely diff ends of the spectrum...i have a son and I would never turn him in for anything...no matter what the circumstances...who am I to judge another human being....or point a finger n say he did this or that...and the list of bad things u said above that we should not accept I agree with....I was growing a couple plants in my garage so I didn't have to buy it anymore...moneys tight enuf as it is so since there's not a weed bill anymore things have been a little easier......idk what ur saying in ur post so its hard for me to respond......u use words I don't know the meaning to and kinda got off topic....u lost me anyway...what are u trying to say?....and just because I don't go bk and correct all typos and mispelling doesn't mean I don't recognize them...I could honestly care less abt that.

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Yes we are. So let me ask you one thing. If your son raped and murdered one of your soon to be ex's kids would you really not turn him in?

Lol you chose plants over the love of your wife? You clearly don't know shit about marriage or relationships.

You know what you should have done? Moved your grow.

Enjoy fucking your soil. Enjoy cuddling with it at night. Enjoy it being there for you after a long day at work.


Dumbass.

Yeah I see where all this is goin...later guys

curious2garden said:

Yes we are. So let me ask you one thing. If your son raped and murdered one of your soon to be ex's kids would you really not turn him in?

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Id put a bullet in his head before id turn him into the law...that's how diff we are.

Mr.Vega said:

So my wife and I have been having issues for months now...every fight we got into she's threatening to kick me out and threatening the plants and blah blah blah...she has 3 kids and we're buying the house off her fam so its obvious who's goin when the shit really goes down but u ain't gotta throw it in my face every time...so it happened again two days ago..bad fight and I gotta go...for real this time...I had four plants..all flowering..one at day 60 I chopped and will prolly dry out to round 3ozs...one at week five..one at week 2..and one at week one...gave all those to the only other grower I knw in the area and he sd he'd give me half of each ones harvest..the 5 weeker was my own cross of querkle bubbleicious..it was my baby and was so excited abt this plant...so I bbroke everything down packed my shit and left w my lights..3 shoe boxes full of buds and my dog...sitting in a hotel til I get a couple paychecks stacked up n get a diff place...out of town this time so I can do outdoors too...she became jealous of my passion..growing...it really came down to either her or me growing..that's what most fights stemmed frm..I can't and shouldn't b w some1 like that...I have my genetics..my lights...and my dog....ima b alright

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...So sorry.....if You has used the wife test years ago U may have already known this...The Wife test You ask?..well put wife and dog in the trunk of your car, let them out 2 hours later....see whome is happy to see YOU!///OK.OK....EVER HEARD OF THE CAT TEST!...pick up said cat...twist its head 360 degrees around, if it lives it was a good cat!..lol...hope the best, it can be hard to swallow.

Mr.Vega said:

Yeah I see where all this is goin...later guys

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Where is it goin? Nowhere apparently.

It's just sad that you think someone has to accept you committing a felony around HER children. I'm all for growing legally and illegally, fuck the government but you have to consider others. Bottom line is this though my man...try and keep up:

1. Clearly you loved this woman, that is why you married her. She stopped smoking to probably better care for your home and children, the problem in her eyes is you failed to compromise by smoking less pot, so it doesn't cost you as much. I doubt she ment start a grow op in her families garage. Yes she wants you to change, you're clearly an inconsiderate asshole. I don't blame her. We all change. Nothing is unconditional. Ego makes that impossible.

2. You could have moved your plants to your grower buddies house, threw him a little cash for supplies and split the harvest and stopped by to help out now and then.

3. A plant can't love you. A plant can't raise children. Oh and weed isn't going anywhere, its only been in existence for you know...something like the creation of plant life.

4. You walked out on a family that you support for a fucking hobby. A FUCKING HOBBY DUDE! You abandoned a family. To grow 4 plants. I could see if you had a huge grow and were saving for college and she didn't understand but at your level its a fucking pass time. It was worth more then the love of your wife, who I assumed you loved enough to marry.

5. Man the fuck up and apologize. Get over your fucking self. I have a passion for a lot of things but I also know when I'm being a cock sucker. Your wife has feelings, real ones. Plants don't give a fuck about you.

Get some help, you seem to have a weird attachment to weed buddy. Enough so that you let foliage ruin your marriage.

Fucking. Asshole.

P.S. You probably weren't that good anyway. Considering you couldn't love a person more then yourself.

i kinda think its pretty shitty you chose your pot over your children.......