Kids say the darndest things...

neosapien

Well-Known Member
I went to use the bathroom last night at like 10:00 and my daughter was not only still awake long past her bedtime but was jumping up and down on her bed. When she finally saw me it was an instant deer-in-the-headlights look and she goes "sorry, I didn't know you were there." .Lol. Cracked me up.
 

neosapien

Well-Known Member
So my daughter pukes at preschool yesterday so we pick her up bring her home And have her laying on her couch. We go to give her a banana to see if she can keep it down. She starts to scoot herself up and says "I want to sit up so the banana doesn't get stuck in my throat". But slurs her words a little and suddenly "stuck" almost sounds like "fuck" but she catches herself and corrects the pronunciation. The wife and I can't help but chuckle a little, so the little sly one being self aware says "man, I Almost said fuck".
 

DST

Well-Known Member
Boy no1 (4 going on 40:)) standing 2 inches from the 10year old flat screen tv (that has one of his shows paused and the cable providers display including image of a pause button.) prodding it profusely with his determined index finger...."Why is this not unpausing, Daaaaaaaaad!!!!".
 

gwheels

Well-Known Member
Oh do i have a funny one. My just turned 12 year old has boils popping out as part of puberty. I am wonder white and he is jamaican black so I have no idea if it is related to that but I am the dad and the mom died so I am the man. I took him to the hospital for a dressing change after it was lanced Monday and they asked him questions. One of them was do you do housework. He heard it as are you a house whore. He said no way. And on the way home he said to me who would admit to being a house whore whatever the fuck that is. OMG did I laugh. I explained it was for insurance reasons they ask if you do housework because you may have an inability to do it and we laughed and laughed. And it was a welcome change from the pain he has been going through. House whore. Geeze I think that is me :D
 

DST

Well-Known Member
Oh do i have a funny one. My just turned 12 year old has boils popping out as part of puberty. I am wonder white and he is jamaican black so I have no idea if it is related to that but I am the dad and the mom died so I am the man. I took him to the hospital for a dressing change after it was lanced Monday and they asked him questions. One of them was do you do housework. He heard it as are you a house whore. He said no way. And on the way home he said to me who would admit to being a house whore whatever the fuck that is. OMG did I laugh. I explained it was for insurance reasons they ask if you do housework because you may have an inability to do it and we laughed and laughed. And it was a welcome change from the pain he has been going through. House whore. Geeze I think that is me :D
shame. i got nasty boils when i was a kid. on my legs for some obscure reason. worst memory was trying to do a pee in the toilet of a hovercraft age 4 with boils all up one of my legs...
 

gwheels

Well-Known Member
shame. i got nasty boils when i was a kid. on my legs for some obscure reason. worst memory was trying to do a pee in the toilet of a hovercraft age 4 with boils all up one of my legs...
Last year it started with 1 on his butt. I had no idea what a boil was. then 2 then 3 then a carbuncle and 3 trips to emerg. Then a hiatius. Then one on his shoulder and 2 days ago one on his leg. It is steph bacteria with an adverse reaction. It is weird because he doesnt grow body hair. I am white and like cave man hairy so I think I can not get them. But for him it has been brutal. So painful. He is the toughest kid I know.

So being Canadian means all of that cost me zero dollars except for 5 bucks a trip for parking at the hospital. But I do pay 31% income tax so it just pay differently. :D
 

DST

Well-Known Member
Last year it started with 1 on his butt. I had no idea what a boil was. then 2 then 3 then a carbuncle and 3 trips to emerg. Then a hiatius. Then one on his shoulder and 2 days ago one on his leg. It is steph bacteria with an adverse reaction. It is weird because he doesnt grow body hair. I am white and like cave man hairy so I think I can not get them. But for him it has been brutal. So painful. He is the toughest kid I know.

So being Canadian means all of that cost me zero dollars except for 5 bucks a trip for parking at the hospital. But I do pay 31% income tax so it just pay differently. :D
It'll stop. Mine did. Still not nice to go through.
Everyone pays in different ways bru.
 

gwheels

Well-Known Member
It'll stop. Mine did. Still not nice to go through.
Everyone pays in different ways bru.
I agree, but his mom died december 2016 and it is like God hates him in his head. I wish they were all over me and not him. It sucks balls but I hope after puberty it will stop. And wow the house is disinfected all over. I am on a mission :D
 

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
When my boy was about 8 yo we were watching a movie together, he was on the couch and I was across the room in my lazyboy. All of the sudden Marisa Tomei was running down the street naked (I think she gets naked in every movie she's ever been in, which is awesome), and when the scene was over he turned to me very calmly and asked, "Would you please rewind that?" I smiled and said, 'sure.' When it replayed, he calmly turned to me again and very politely asked, "Can we rewind that one more time?" I laughed and obliged. Chip off the old block...
 

DST

Well-Known Member
I agree, but his mom died december 2016 and it is like God hates him in his head. I wish they were all over me and not him. It sucks balls but I hope after puberty it will stop. And wow the house is disinfected all over. I am on a mission :D
Sounds like a tuff kid. I am sure he'll be fine. He's got his Old man after all.
 

DST

Well-Known Member
When my boy was about 8 yo we were watching a movie together, he was on the couch and I was across the room in my lazyboy. All of the sudden Marisa Tomei was running down the street naked (I think she gets naked in every movie she's ever been in, which is awesome), and when the scene was over he turned to me very calmly and asked, "Would you please rewind that?" I smiled and said, 'sure.' When it replayed, he calmly turned to me again and very politely asked, "Can we rewind that one more time?" I laughed and obliged. Chip off the old block...
Such a moment of admiration as a Dad.

riu acting weird. tried to reply to this post and it logged me out...and then back in.
 

tyler.durden

Well-Known Member
@tyler.durden my 8 year old boy Rather play with Lego's and play dough then look at naked boobies.. what the hell is wrong with him.? Lol.. oh on a side note,, it says I don't have permission to perform this action when I try to QUOTE you.. what's up with that?
My kid was unusually heterosexual from a really early age. Even when his friends would say yuck when talking about girls, he would respond, "Good, more for me..." My posts are so awesome that I am generally unquote-able ;)
 

lokie

Well-Known Member
My kid was unusually heterosexual from a really early age. Even when his friends would say yuck when talking about girls, he would respond, "Good, more for me..." My posts are so awesome that I am generally unquote-able ;)
My ex's boy, at 13, would shield his eyes when tits popped out on HBO. I never understood that.
Maybe it was because his mom was in the room? Last time I saw him, at 19, he still did not have a girlfriend.

Years later I heard that he had married and has kids now.
Lord I hope they don't turn out to be assholes like him.:finger:
 
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