Dannoo93
Well-Known Member
So I recently stopped smoking just to take a break.I have smoked heavily for over a year daily and now that I have stopped I feel my own mind set has changed. I smoked all the time everything revolved around it if I was out running errands I would stop by.the house and smoke then go back out from the time I would wake up till asleep.I would smoke. Now that I have stopped I see what it did to me. I can say I still love marijuana and will smoke(helps with stomach) but I look at myself in a sickening way I disgusted myself with how much I would put weed before everything. I would spend my last 50$ own marijuana rather than making sure I have food in my house. I can see what I have put my gf through for almost a year and a half now. I would use it as an excuse for my mood it changed me. If I didnt smoke I would be told that.I am a dick by multiple people even.if I tried not to.smoke my gf would.tell me to.go.smoke im being mean. It would fuck my emotions so.bad that really I didnt have any. I started my break on the first and had a puff on sunday night(was at a dinner with the chemo patient I supply and he puffs after dinner) and still I took a hit even though I have told myself not to. It didnt do.anything to me the one hit but im done for the remainder of the month. Just in the past few days I have noticed a wirlwind of emotions. I just recently had a friend slip.and they knew the rules and im done with.them.now have to cut the ties with them for my own.well being and protection.one if my friends she has been a good one.she helped me all through the last two.years of high school.becuase of her I met my gf.of almost two.years now and I can say just because of no weed emotions are bad as I type this I get sadder and sadder. I hate that just because I want to help.people by supplying medicine I get judged as a drug dealer and that im pretty much scum. I cant even share with half my.family that I even smoke for.the fear of being judged and my own.family not accepting me. Im going to apologize to everyone on here for when I may act like a dick or be rude to.others...stopping smoking is no.excuse but it is an emotional toll on me and I dont care what people say.marijuana is addicting and it is a drug... I can admit from.experiance now......just wanted to type how I feel sorry if this wasted any of your guys/gals time