how should i go about keeping the IRS off my ass??

BustinScales510

BustinScales510

Well-Known Member
Robfather said:
Ok, I'm going to share a very simple system to quickly launder money..

Step one: Make some money!! You'll need about 25 K to start.
Step two: Don't fucking talk about it, like I'm doing right now, lol
Step three: Deposit the money slowly over a 5 month period into your bank. Claim the money on your income tax under the 'Self Employed' section as Personal income You do not need a business to do this.
Step four: Go to the bank and put a 20k down payment on a mortgage for a home in a working middle class area. Save the remaining 5 to pay income tax at the end of the year on the 20k. I don't know how it works in the US exactly but no bank in their right mind turns down a loan with 20% of the principal up front.
Step fucking five: Make some more money!
Step six: Pay some Mexicans cash to landscape your yard
Step seven: Pay some different Mexicans or even some friends to renovate the inside of your new house. Focus on the kitchen first, then bathrooms Why? Because wives make the ultimate decision on home purchases, especially in working middle class families. Yard, bathroom and kitchen are the first things they look at and are often the deal-breaker.
Step eight: Rent the house. Putting notices in Church newsletters and through friends is a great way to get solid renters
Step nine: After 2 years, sell the house, pay back the loan and you just earned yourself some better credit. Claim you did all the work yourself. IF you did things properly, you just cleaned about 80k in 2 years legit. Use that money to start a business, one with a high volume of cash sales like a Deck and Fence repair company/Trash removal for example, etc....
Step 10: Ask me what to do once you've reached this point, lol

The way the economy is in the US right now, you should be able to get great cash deals on all the labor and materials you need for this particular plan.

Click to expand...
Where the hell are there houses for $100,000 or less? Most growers that make enough money to need laundering live in somewhat populated areas,and houses arent that cheap very many places. Spending anymore than that and it would look suspicious putting that much in the bank,and you couldnt get a bank loan without credit (for a more expensive house with just $20,000 down).

Plus, you could also lose money if the housing market slumps in that time,or the renters trash the place,or it costs more to fix up than you thought..or or or :)

Dont mean to shit on the idea..theoretically it could work, it just sounds risky and complicated.
 
Dank Raptor

Dank Raptor

Active Member
The IRS is probably gonna read this thread.. They will help settle things. Just like casting a bait out into cyberspace to see if anything will bite. Its a matter of time.

Think about what you say on the internet. It is all being logged and saved in a database. Do you guys know who big brother is?
 
Figong

Figong

Well-Known Member
Dank Raptor said:
The IRS is probably gonna read this thread.. They will help settle things. Just like casting a bait out into cyberspace to see if anything will bite. Its a matter of time.

Think about what you say on the internet. It is all being logged and saved in a database. Do you guys know who big brother is?
Click to expand...
It's actually Big Sister.. the Queen of England is the top of the Illuminati food chain, as it were.
 
drolove

drolove

Well-Known Member
BustinScales510 said:
Where the hell are there houses for $100,000 or less? Most growers that make enough money to need laundering live in somewhat populated areas,and houses arent that cheap very many places. Spending anymore than that and it would look suspicious putting that much in the bank,and you couldnt get a bank loan without credit (for a more expensive house with just $20,000 down).

Plus, you could also lose money if the housing market slumps in that time,or the renters trash the place,or it costs more to fix up than you thought..or or or :)

Dont mean to shit on the idea..theoretically it could work, it just sounds risky and complicated.
Click to expand...
lol bought the house im in now on 12 acres for 30k ;) furnished and all!
 
drolove

drolove

Well-Known Member
Dank Raptor said:
The IRS is probably gonna read this thread.. They will help settle things. Just like casting a bait out into cyberspace to see if anything will bite. Its a matter of time.

Think about what you say on the internet. It is all being logged and saved in a database. Do you guys know who big brother is?
Click to expand...
lol IRS is the last person you need to be worried about for shit on this site.
 
Twitch

Twitch

Well-Known Member
ummm the housing market is in a slump...i think for the past 4 years or so....
hmmm what happened about 4 years ago.... huh cant think of any thing
 
ta2drvn

ta2drvn

Well-Known Member
Twitch. said:
ummm the housing market is in a slump...i think for the past 4 years or so....
hmmm what happened about 4 years ago.... huh cant think of any thing
Click to expand...

yes, but we are at a point that this is a very good market to buy, everyone forgets that propertycan loose value, but if you were to look at values over the last 50yrs it is a good long term investment and can help you build wealth.
 
Swiftowl11

Swiftowl11

Active Member
Yep bought a house about 4 years ago 1990 2k sqft 4 bed house for 99k, cali. Renovated it a little. On the market now for 170k. Still a good market. Buy 2006 house 3.2k sq ft home for about 220k. Market is great right now for people just getting in. The people thats been in its shitty. That same 2006 house was bought in 2006 for 620k. Sucks to be the people with that loan. Ill happily own that same house with my 200k loan. My house was bought for 370k in 2005. If you got money get in now.
 
ta2drvn

ta2drvn

Well-Known Member
I've been in the Real Estate industry for over 20 years, my father was in it for 30+ before he pasted away, for the average person, RE is the best long term investment they will make in there lifetime. I would also point out that just like ANY investment there is risk, markets can be good and bad but if you run 20, 30, 40 or 50 years graphs on housing prices you will see a consistant upward trend that would out pace inflation. The recent bubble is just one of many bubbles they are usually about every 7 years and this one was postpond by overly agressive lending practices that were designed to keep homes more affordable in infationary times so that lenders could continue to see record breaking number of loans originated year after year not one mortgage entity would accept a decline in funding numbers one month to another and year after year. If a decline started the industry would figure out a gimic to reverse that, this allowed housing prices to continue to increase to a point that prices just out paced wages by too much to sustain the housing prices, when prices stared to flatten out it started to prevented people that used to be able to just sell and downsize or refi when the home became unafordable from being able to and with such a long delay and over inflaten market, just like a bigger ballon the correction needed was bigger than anything we had seen before in these cycles.

But if you bought a home in the 90's and did not pull out equity from your home or get a larger loan on the property than you started with, you would be fine today and probably be able to realize an ok profit today nothing huge but you more than likely would be ahead. But if you purchased at the top of the market and put very little down or pulled all of your equity out during that time, well your gonna have to wait a very long time to be ahead.
 
M

Marktell2012

Active Member
When my ex bought a home, I loaned her (yes I have dated a woman before, which is why I thought some of the comments earlier today were a bit naive) a large amount of money but she had to have some sort of letter saying it was a gift. And I had to give her the money so she could give it to her mother so that her mother could do the letter. I could not do it because I was not a relative or spouse.

But I would say starting your own business is pretty simple, especially if you have a small amount of capital. Not sure about other states, but in NC all you have to do is file your articles of organization to form an LLC, pay the proper fines and you pretty much get your business license. Be prepared for pesky inspections, setting up merchant accounts, creating employee protocols. Rent out a small business office and sell something, anything. Then I'm sure over time your business records will match your income :-)
 
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