How old were you?

when you realized that looks are not the most important element when picking a mate?

Haha I like how you left the title as you did, i spose most will come in here assuming you're going to ask when they lost their virginity. Anyway, both are still an important part for me , (17 years of age). It's not that I'm shallow or anything, but you know how it is, when your a teenager image appears to be important to almost everyone. But yeah personality is definitely important also.

"Conflict resolution" has become the number 1 quality I look for in people...

People who have the ability to take responsibility for themselves.. totally... there happiness, their moods, their actions... people who don't BLAME other people..

People who realize that blaming is a waste of energy...

this is the quality I most admire and seek out and aspire to BE...

iloveyou

I think i realized this when i was around 17... I found attraction to the females which were actually living by their own ways. That were aware of them selves and the choices they make. I dont like it when girls try to be somone they are not. Many girls I knew growing up in school were only about the outer shell, only caring of what other people think. having an invisible mask. I felt more spirtial attraction to those who truly were blooming of their real colors, instead of choosing to what people would perfer.

Most of the time, when dealing with a person that is confident in ones self, you see the true person. Why do you think so many people fall in love with hot chicks then find out their the biggest bitches in the world..

Never judge only by the eye.

. I really like it in a person in general that does not judge, but really seeks the truth first.

there are more aspects to this i just dont feel like getting into it

At the end of it all, I appreciate love, and i will always return it.

I agree with you garden knowm, that is a very important element. It requiers a lot of strength and brain power to seriously accept all that happens, good or bad. Without blaming somone else to ease the pain. Blaming is a waste of energy, because it really doesn't do ANY good either to you or the other party.

Garden Knowm said:

when you realized that looks are not the most important element when picking a mate?

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after my fourth wife , really

Hemlock said:

after my fourth wife , really

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DANG!!!

you should write a book...

SERIOUSLY!

Every time im drunk on vodka and red bull

I dont think that counts , Does it ...

the same time i realized that "hot" chicks stot giving head after the first year or so.... i need to get a nice fat chick with a low selfesteem

Florida Girl said:

Probably when I entered my 30's.

In my early twenties I was a wild child and only wanted to date good looking guys in "hair bands"...

In my late twenties I had ditched the bad boy rockers.... but had moved on to the good looking corporate men with flashy cars.

In my 30's it started to dawn on me that I had spent the last decade dating very different men.... but they all had two things in common.....1) Good looks and 2) they were egotistical assholes!

I haven't dated an egotistical asshole in over a decade now.... life is good

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how'd you change? whaT CLICKED?

ILOVEYOU

In my youth I wouldn't go out with anyone unless the peanut gallery approved. Man was I stupid Now all the peanuts are single or diviorced. Meanwhile all the " plain janes " are happily married... Asshole peanuts

I've always gone for inner beauty over outward appearence. maybe it's just because I don't think I'm very attractive, or because I don't think I got a shot with Hot girls. But either way, it's always been what's on the inside that counts. Although my girl now is the hottest girl I've ever been with, and I plan on marrying her ( not because of her looks, that would just be stupid)

and Thank you GK for this thread, I think alot of the younger crowd could learn a lesson from this thread, even though I'm sure that wont happen, although your title will certainly get them in here.

Garden Knowm said:

how'd you change? whaT CLICKED?

ILOVEYOU

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I think we all just get wiser as we get older. Mother Nature and Father Time....they effect every single person on Earth in many ways.... How they do it is one of life's great mysteries.


Of course there are some people who will always be shallow. Seems to me these people are usually extremely narcissistic. I doubt they will ever experience unconditional love.

Florida Girl said:

I doubt they will ever experience unconditional love.

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glad you mentioned that..

unconditional love....

would you care to elaborate

iloveyou

Garden Knowm said:

when you realized that looks are not the most important element when picking a mate?

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Damn... that's a very good question.

I'm not sure how to answer it because appearance was never THE most important thing. Important, yes, for me a guy can be too good-looking, yet.. I know that there have been a few times that I went out with someone just because I knew my friends would be impressed, simply because of his appearance.

Sonofabitch, that's a tough one! I'd have to say... early 20s, like before I had my kids.

Garden Knowm said:

glad you mentioned that..

unconditional love....

would you care to elaborate

iloveyou

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It's pretty simple. Unconditional love is when someone hurts you and you can still admit (even if only to yourself) that you love them. Well.. it's simple to me, at least.

So, is this thread more about the original question, or what we might value or seek above all else, including looks?

I think I may have just figured this out, and I'm 20. Its more like, the pretty girls seem mean most of the time kind of thing though. So maybe I need to broaden the search a little, to the less stereotypical beautiful woman. I've figured out that love is such a powerful thing, that if 2 people just connect well the flaws won't matter. Everyone wants love, and will go to great lengths to feel it.

i find beauty and positive things in any woman i meet, not just women i am dating or with. but i would say after high school for me. i became less worried about the baddest dime pieces to show off with lol.

I dated a couple real beauties, that were shallow. Then I found a girl who was very nice and pleasent. She looked pretty good. She cooked better than my mother. She and I have been married 29 years.

I'm a lucky man.

I like a healthy woman... a woman that can touch her toes... carry two kids on her back while putting the 5 gallon jug of water in the cooler and do at least a few pull ups..

she can be big or small... shape is not important.. i just want it to be her natural shape...

I know more what I don;t like.. then what I do like... I don;t like being around people who argue their own limitations... I don't wanna be super intimate with somebody who is not AT LEAST aware that they are responsible for THEIR own happiness...

I don't get angry when other people get angry... I wait until it is my turn.. anger is 99.9999% a complete unconscious act.. I don;t want to go unconscious while my hunny/hunnies is unconscious.. somebody needs to stand gaurd.. and I would like her to stand gaurd when i go unconscious with anger too..

iloveyou