getting older

So I am getting older and there are somethings I have been wondering about.


Like why do my ears grow this fur now? If I don't shave my ears a couple of times a week it looks like a have hammerers on my ears. Could I let that hair grow and comb it over that bald spot on the back of my head?

Why do I have to pee 400 times a day?

Why can I remember things that happened 40 years ago in detail but I can find my car keys? I had them when I went to pee but I can't find them now. Is it my wife or a poltergeist that put my keys in the refrigerator yesterday?

Where did this flap of skin under my chin that goes down to my adams apple come from? I'm starting to look like a turkey.

Why does my nut sack hang like that in the heat? It looks like silly putty. Where did all that skin come from?
Well I think the best part of getting older is your still alive. If ya don't weaken it's a good life.

How old are you exactly? Or take a guess if you can't remember.........

omfg im totally going through a mid life crisis right now!!!!!

Me and my sister were having a conversation about the weather (it's 71 right now) and neither one of us could remember the word, "thermometer". I finally had to google it. By the way, my sister is also my twin. Getting old means your brain likes to fuck with you.

I'm too old for this. cn

Welcome to old age, I wonder the same things although I haven't got furry ears or a hanging nut sack, but plenty of other hanging bits. I to can remember things from long ago but if you asked me what happened an hour ago I couldn't tell you. I put the boot polish in the fridge and my husband found it after me swearing blind I hadn't seen it.
But your right we are still alive and that must account for something, I spend all night peeing and having hot flushes and all day trying to remember where I've put things what a life.

Granny weed said:

Welcome to old age, I wonder the same things although I haven't got furry ears or a hanging nut sack, but plenty of other hanging bits. I to can remember things from long ago but if you asked me what happened an hour ago I couldn't tell you. I put the boot polish in the fridge and my husband found it after me swearing blind I hadn't seen it.
But your right we are still alive and that must account for something, I spend all night peeing and having hot flushes and all day trying to remember where I've put things what a life.

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This makes me curious about your love life. cn

Granny weed said:

I spend all night peeing and having hot flushes and all day trying to remember where I've put things what a life.

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cannabineer said:

This makes me curious about your love life. cn

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I'm more concerned about the hot flushes. Does the toilet water glow in the dark as well? Do you live next to a nuclear power plant?

Carne Seca said:

I'm more concerned about the hot flushes. Does the toilet water glow in the dark as well? Do you live next to a nuclear power plant?

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I experienced hot flushes once. A drunk plumber was at fault. The steam felt nice on cold mornings though ... but discouraged inhalation. cn

Like why do my ears grow this fur now? If I don't shave my ears a couple of times a week it looks like a have hammerers on my ears. Could I let that hair grow and comb it over that bald spot on the back of my head? Yes and many do.

Why do I have to pee 400 times a day? God wants it that way.

Where did this flap of skin under my chin that goes down to my adams apple come from? I'm starting to look like a turkey. Then by all means be sure to not act like one.

Why does my nut sack hang like that in the heat? It looks like silly putty. Where did all that skin come from? Your stomach and chest. Have you looked down lately?

yeah whats up with all the sweating i do at night ?
is that part of getting old ?
my pillow is soaking wet eveery morning

cannabineer said:

This makes me curious about your love life. cn

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Non existent I can remember how to do it.

Granny weed said:

Non existent I can remember how to do it.

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I dunno. Something about cold boot cream ~shifts in chair~ cn

sniffer said:

yeah whats up with all the sweating i do at night ?
is that part of getting old ?
my pillow is soaking wet eveery morning

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Have you had your thyroid checked? And when was the last time you were checked (if ever) for tuberculosis?

Carne Seca said:

I'm more concerned about the hot flushes. Does the toilet water glow in the dark as well? Do you live next to a nuclear power plant?

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The hot flushes come before the peeing, hot flush, pee, hot flush, pee.

I am suffering from OldTimers too although it is way better then the alternative!

Granny weed said:

Non existent I can remember how to do it.

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Granny weed said:

The hot flushes come before the peeing, hot flush, pee, hot flush, pee.

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Someone's telling tales outta school! First you can't remember, and then you explain Tuesday foreplay...

OP: Now, son ... I'm going to give you a little advice about life. Smoke pot until you can't remember how old you are, at that point, it no longer matters.

I can't wait till I get my very own power chair. Ima start a powerchair bowling league.

I'm only 60. If I was a red wood I would still be a sapling and if I was a saguaro I wouldn't even have a branch yet.
No one let me know about this stuff. I'm just trying to let you younger guy's know whats coming.
One day you will realize that your butt has dispersed at about the same rate that your belly has gotten bigger.
Getting baked helps. Age and nature play tricks on us.
You younger guys I'll leave ya a couple last thoughts. As you get close to 50 farts are not lumpy and if ya get to old to cut the mustard you can still lick the jar.

If I make it 2 more years, I'll be only the second male in my family, on my father's side, to live past the ripe old age of 40 in close to 200 years.