Dirty jokes?

mrpuffins

mrpuffins

Well-Known Member
Man tells his wife it's time to go hunting in the rain, wife says " I'M NOT GOING TO GO HUNTING IN THE RAIN, NO WAY, NUH-UH. "man says you sure fucking are or you can let me fuck you in the ass or suck my dick , im going to get the dogs ready, he returns and the wife says " no way i am goimg in the rain, no way you are fucking me in the ass, but I will blow you. " she pulls down his pants and starts to duck then spits and says EWWW your dick tastes like shit. man says I know, dogs didn't want to go hunting in the rain either..



Nasty? raunchy? racisit? sexist? pedophilic? beyond inappropriate? I love it, let me hear it THEY ARE FUCKING JOKES SO DON'T GET TOO UPSET HERE PEOPLE.

Let's hear some!!
 
A woman shops at a supermarket and brings her cart up to cashier. On the conveyor belt she puts a bag of oranges, 2 lbs of ground beef, a six pack of beer, peanut butter, milk and eggs. The cashier asks the woman, 'You're single, aren't you?' The woman replied, 'Yes! How did you know that?' and the cashier says, 'because you're fucking ugly...'
 
What's the worst part about eating vegetables?

----------

It's not the smell or taste, but the wheelchairs!
 
 
A man sat and watched the news with his cute, blonde girlfriend. The news anchor reported, "Two Brazilian skydivers fell to their deaths when their parachutes failed to open..." The blonde burst into an uncontrollable, desperate crying fit. The man, perplexed by this seemingly disproportionate display of emotion, dutifully patted her back and said, 'It's okay, babe. It'll be okay'. The blonde replied through her tears, 'but it's just so HORRIBLE! How many is in a Brazilian again?'
 
A woman and a little girl are taking a shower. The little girl looks up points and asks mommy what is that? the mom replies that's mommys sponge the next day in the shower. The daughter asks mommy why is daddy's face always in the maids sponge?
 
A man who badly needed sex contacted a prostitute. She was old but cheap. They met, things "progressed", and he found himself trying to penetrate her, with great difficulty.

She reached her hand down, and a few seconds later told him to try again. He did, much to his delight, He slid right in, and rode her to Pleasure Land.

Afterward, as they were lying in bed, he asked how she got so wet and slick so fast. She said "Oh, I just picked the scabs and let the pus run".
 
Last edited:
ZaraBeth420 said:
A man who badly needed sex contacted a prostitute. She was old but cheap. They met, things "progressed", and he found himself trying to penetrate her, with great difficulty.

She reached her hand down, and a few seconds later told him to try again. He did, much to his delight, He slid right in, and rode her to Pleasure Land.

Afterward, as they were lying in bed, he asked how she got so wet and slick so fast. She said "Oh, I just picked the scabs and let the pus run".
Click to expand...
:spew:
 
A guy walks into a bar with a frog and sits next tothe best looking girl. Girl says who's this?
Guy this is froggy he's famous
Girl for what?
Guy he is the best pussy eater in the world.
Girl laughs.
Guy says if you want to find out just let me know.
A couple drinks later the women says I'm ready so they bolt to hotel. Women undresses and spreads her legs.
The guy puts the frog in front of her and says froggy go come on get it go froggy. After the frog doesn't do anything the guy picks up froggy and says I'm just going to show you one more time.:-P:-P
 
BIKER CLUB
A little old lady wanted to join a biker club.

She knocked on the door of a local biker club and a big, hairy, bearded biker with tattoos all over his arms answered the door.

She proclaimed, "I want to join your biker club."

The guy was amused and told her that she needed to meet certain biker requirements before she was allowed to join. So the biker asked her, "You have a bike?"

The little old lady said, "Yea, that's my Harley over there," and points to a Harley parked in the driveway.

The biker asked her, "Do you smoke?"

The little old lady said "Yea, I smoke. I smoke 4 packs of cigarettes a day and a couple of cigars while I'm shooting pool."

The biker is impressed and asked, "Well, have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?"

The little old lady said, "No, I've never been picked up by the fuzz, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."
 
I was hoping I would wake up to more jokes!

Here's a good Sunday morning one...

3 fags are sitting in a hot tub, suddenly a glob a semen floats to the top, one fag turns to the other two and asks, " alright, who farted?"
 
Last edited:
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