Deepest darkest shit you dont tell people.

jimihendrix1

jimihendrix1

Well-Known Member
Im an alien from the galaxy MACS0647-JD .

I can change the size of my dick, and balls just by thinking about it. Up to 4 feet if I need to., and nuts up to the size of cantaloupe. I can also mentally teleport, up to 100 BILLION light years in less than 1 second. I have huge hands and feet. All women love me, and I have to fight them off. I can also make legal tender money out of thin air.
 
Sir Napsalot

Sir Napsalot

Well-Known Member
jimihendrix1 said:
Im an alien from the galaxy MACS0647-JD .

I can change the size of my dick, and balls just by thinking about it. Up to 4 feet if I need to., and nuts up to the size of cantaloupe. I can also mentally teleport, up to 100 BILLION light years in less than 1 second. I have huge hands and feet. All women love me, and I have to fight them off. I can also make legal tender money out of thin air.
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I'm more impressed that you can spell "cantaloupe" correctly
 
amneziaHaze

amneziaHaze

Well-Known Member
when i was little i got electricuted few times soo now when i get that electrical spark when you touch something for the next few days i will knock my finnger on the ground or somewhere to ground myselfe before touching metal
 
jimihendrix1

jimihendrix1

Well-Known Member
Never used spellcheck in my life. I won the spelling bee contest in 6th grade. I beat a girl that got double promoted. 6th grade teacher ( NUN) was also a PHD in Math, so we also got grilled daily in math. We were 2-3 years ahead of public schools. Also had a hardcore Biology class in 6th grade. I went to a Catholic school from 4th grade -12th. Also know a bit of latin. Had to take it in 9th grade. Mandatory. A Priest taught that. All the nuns/priests that taught there were PHDs, and all lay teachers had to have a Masters degree before they would hire them.
I was also taught Evolution in the Catholic school. Though I dont practice any of it, Catholics are all taught evolution in school, and believe the earth is billions of years old. Not 6000. Also taught many of the stories in the Bible are Parables, and are not literal.
I went to a public school the first 3 years, and was way behind in Math, and was lucky I caught up. I spent many hours after school being tutored to catch up. Spelling, and reading always came easy. My mother taught me to read, write, and spell before I was in 1st grade. I also started playing guitar when I was 5. I also play a bit of piano, banjo, violin, mandolin, harp, harmonica, and pedal steel. All self taught, though I have a buddy that taught me the basics of pedal steel. Hes one of the best players in Nashville. Timmy Sergent. He plays for Dierks Bently.
My mother, grandfather, uncle, and great aunt all played piano. Great aunt was a nun, and taught music in college. I still have her 1917 Steinway Upright Grand Piano.

Also had another buddy who sang for the Joe Perry Project, when Pery quit Arrowsmith. His name is Ralph Morman. He passed in 2014. He sang on the album Let the Music Do the Talkin. Also played in a band with Billy Ray Cyrus older brother. All these guys are from my home town.

Ive never had the need for spellcheck. Yet. Though I may sometimes get in a rush, and misspell something. Im not perfect on the keyboard, and may not go back and see if I misspelled anything. Nobody is perfect, thats for sure.

I also may not use an apostrophe when needed.
 
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ChingOwn

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
jimihendrix1 said:
Never used spellcheck in my life. I won the spelling bee contest in 6th grade. I beat a girl that got double promoted. 6th grade teacher ( NUN) was also a PHD in Math, so we also got grilled daily in math. We were 2-3 years ahead of public schools. Also had a hardcore Biology class in 6th grade. I went to a Catholic school from 4th grade -12th. Also know a bit of latin. Had to take it in 9th grade. Mandatory. A Priest taught that. All the nuns/priests that taught there were PHDs, and all lay teachers had to have a Masters degree before they would hire them.
I was also taught Evolution in the Catholic school. Though I dont practice any of it, Catholics are all taught evolution in school, and believe the earth is billions of years old. Not 6000. Also taught many of the stories in the Bible are Parables, and are not literal.
I went to a public school the first 3 years, and was way behind in Math, and was lucky I caught up. I spent many hours after school being tutored to catch up. Spelling, and reading always came easy. My mother taught me to read, write, and spell before I was in 1st grade. I also started playing guitar when I was 5. I also play a bit of piano, banjo, violin, mandolin, harp, harmonica, and pedal steel. All self taught, though I have a buddy that taught me the basics of pedal steel. Hes one of the best players in Nashville. Timmy Sergent. He plays for Dierks Bently.
My mother, grandfather, uncle, and great aunt all played piano. Great aunt was a nun, and taught music in college. I still have her 1917 Steinway Upright Grand Piano.

Also had another buddy who sang for the Joe Perry Project, when Pery quit Arrowsmith. His name is Ralph Morman. He passed in 2014. He sang on the album Let the Music Do the Talkin. Also played in a band with Billy Ray Cyrus older brother. All these guys are from my home town.

Ive never had the need for spellcheck. Yet. Though I may sometimes get in a rush, and misspell something. Im not perfect on the keyboard, and may not go back and see if I misspelled anything. Nobody is perfect, thats for sure.

I also may not use an apostrophe when needed.
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But can you play the guitar left handed, while on acid?
 
jimihendrix1

jimihendrix1

Well-Known Member
ChingOwn said:
But can you play the guitar left handed, while on acid?
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Who says Im not left handed??? I used to play doing acid all the time back in the early/mid 70s, but quit all that in 1976 after ODing shooting adrenaline. Quit cigs, and drinking too. Weed only since then.

One gig I did back in 74 we thought the gig was going to be canceled, so all of us but the drummer did some PCP, and we ended up having to play the gig. And we pulled it off. I had to close 1 eye to see. I used to love PCP. The best stuff was little orange wafers that came out of the vets office. When it first came around in summer of 1971 , they called it THC!!! It would make you feel like you were 100 feet tall, and was very hard to walk. The ground looked like it was a mile away. It would make you high step big time. I only had 1 bad experience with it. I had to pee got 4 hours, and couldnt. I thought I was going to burst. That was the last time I ever did it. That was in 76.

Im not left handed though. Jimi was actually ambidextrous on both the guitar and Bass. He did put the strings in proper order though. He could play with the strings in fucked up order.

He played Bass on Along the Watchtower, and just flipped the Bass upside down, and didnt bother to restring the Bass. Jimi was a good on Bass, as he was guitar.

Most ambidextrous guy Ive seen on guitar is Michael Battio. Hes a freak sideshow!! Hes a really nice guy, and goes around to music stores, and gives free seminars. His style really isnt my bag, but hes no doubt talented as hell. He got a music degree from University of Chicago.

 
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ChingOwn

ChingOwn

Well-Known Member
jimihendrix1 said:
Who says Im not left handed??? I used to play doing acid all the time back in the early/mid 70s, but quit all that in 1976 after ODing shooting adrenaline. Quit cigs, and drinking too. Weed only since then.

One gig I did back in 74 we thought the gig was going to be canceled, so all of us but the drummer did some PCP, and we ended up having to play the gig. And we pulled it off. I had to close 1 eye to see. I used to love PCP. The best stuff was little orange wafers that came out of the vets office. When it first came around in summer of 1971 , they called it THC!!! It would make you feel like you were 100 feet tall, and was very hard to walk. The ground looked like it was a mile away. It would make you high step big time. I only had 1 bad experience with it. I had to pee got 4 hours, and couldnt. I thought I was going to burst. That was the last time I ever did it. That was in 76.

Im not left handed though. Jimi was actually ambidextrous on both the guitar and Bass. He did put the strings in proper order though. He could play with the strings in fucked up order.

He played Bass on Along the Watchtower, and just flipped the Bass upside down, and didnt bother to restring the Bass. Jimi was a good on Bass, as he was guitar.

Most ambidextrous guy Ive seen on guitar is Michael Battio. Hes a freak sideshow!! Hes a really nice guy, and goes around to music stores, and gives free seminars. His style really isnt my bag, but hes no doubt talented as hell. He got a music degree from University of Chicago.

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Did not answer the question
 
Herb & Suds

Herb & Suds

Well-Known Member
jimihendrix1 said:
Who says Im not left handed??? I used to play doing acid all the time back in the early/mid 70s, but quit all that in 1976 after ODing shooting adrenaline. Quit cigs, and drinking too. Weed only since then.

One gig I did back in 74 we thought the gig was going to be canceled, so all of us but the drummer did some PCP, and we ended up having to play the gig. And we pulled it off. I had to close 1 eye to see. I used to love PCP. The best stuff was little orange wafers that came out of the vets office. When it first came around in summer of 1971 , they called it THC!!! It would make you feel like you were 100 feet tall, and was very hard to walk. The ground looked like it was a mile away. It would make you high step big time. I only had 1 bad experience with it. I had to pee got 4 hours, and couldnt. I thought I was going to burst. That was the last time I ever did it. That was in 76.

Im not left handed though. Jimi was actually ambidextrous on both the guitar and Bass. He did put the strings in proper order though. He could play with the strings in fucked up order.

He played Bass on Along the Watchtower, and just flipped the Bass upside down, and didnt bother to restring the Bass. Jimi was a good on Bass, as he was guitar.

Most ambidextrous guy Ive seen on guitar is Michael Battio. Hes a freak sideshow!! Hes a really nice guy, and goes around to music stores, and gives free seminars. His style really isnt my bag, but hes no doubt talented as hell. He got a music degree from University of Chicago.

Click to expand...
Had the left handed beat out of me by nuns
But it’s ok I’m Rick James bitch :clap: :lol::hug:
 
blueberrymilkshake

blueberrymilkshake

Well-Known Member
My family poops big. Maybe it's genetic, maybe it's our diet, but everyone births giant logs of crap. If anyone has laid a mega-poop, you know that sometimes it won't flush. It lays across the hole in the bottom of the bowl and the vortex of draining water merely gives it a spin as it mocks you.
Growing up, this was a common enough occurrence that our family had a poop knife. It was an old rusty kitchen knife that hung on a nail in the laundry room, only to be used for that purpose. It was normal to walk through the hallway and have someone call out "hey, can you get me the poop knife"? I thought it was standard kit. You have your plunger, your toilet brush, and your poop knife. Fast forward to 22. It's been a day or two between poops and I'm over at my friend's house. My friend was the local dealer and always had 'guests' over, because you can't buy weed without sitting on your ass and sampling it for an hour. I excuse myself and lay a gigantic turd. I look down and see that it's a sideways one, so I crack the door and call out for my friend. He arrives and I ask him for his poop knife. "My what?" Your poop knife, I say. I need to use it. Please. "Wtf is a poop knife?" Obviously he has one, but maybe he calls it by a more delicate name. A fecal cleaver? A Dung divider? A guano glaive? I explain what it is I want and why I want it. He starts giggling. Then laughing. Then lots of people start laughing. It turns out, the music stopped and everyone heard my pleas through the door. It also turns out that none of them had poop knives, it was just my fucked up family with their fucked up bowels. FML. I told this to my wife last night, who was amused and horrified at the same time. It turns out that she did not know what a poop knife was and had been using the old rusty knife hanging in the utility closet as a basic utility knife. Thankfully she didn't cook with it, but used it to open Amazon boxes. She will be getting her own utility knife now.

Common question - Why was this not in the bathroom instead of the laundry room? Answer. We only had one poop knife, and the laundry room was central to all three bathrooms. I have no idea why we didn't have three poop knives. All I know is that we didn't. We had the one. Possibly because my father was notoriously cheap about the weirdest things. So yes, we shared our poop knife.
 
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