What did you accomplish today?

neosapien

Well-Known Member
Last week i found out my mother is caught up in another, yeah another:roll:, fucking "Nigerian" lover scam. She lost all her inheritance, $120K+, 6 years ago to the same thing. She's convinced this guy loves her, she stopped paying her bills to send him all her money every month for the last year. She's never met him, but she's gone to the airport a half dozen times to meet him, but something always happens where he's not there. She gave him access to her credit card and money market accounts. She's bought him bitcoin. She's been bumming money off me the whole time, knowing I'm living off my, dwindling, savings. Her car is, literally, falling apart, the headlight is hanging on the wire and the fender was peeled off in an accident and duct taped back on:roll:. She's $5K behind on the equity loan, so I'm worried about the house I live in. It's "supposedly" my inheritance after my father's death, not officially, just on her word which isn't worth shit to me anymore, though she won't put me on the paperwork. I pay the taxes and insurance, only because she doesn't and they both fell into default multiple times, but she takes the tax write off. If i didn't, she woulda lost the house by now a coupe times.

For the last 2 years she had her friends and her side of the family convinced i was a verbally abusive asshole and that all her problems were my fault. She's been lying to them about this guy, she's got their families involved, using their info to send him money. She's got into a coupe of their faces, screaming at them when she found out they talked to each other and me about this situation. At least now they know the truth, it's all out in the open now. No more secrets.

I'm pretty sure I had an actual nervous breakdown. IDK what the fuck to do, this is the second time I've dealt with my own mother lying to my face, taking my money while she sends it over seas and showing no respect for me, she told me "maybe I shouldn't have trusted her". I don't get it, I was brought up in a home with strong family values, family came first, no matter what- before friends, before lovers, before the law. I've done nothing but try to help her, I orchestrated all the upgrades and remodeling work on her house after my father died, as she traveled for over a year. I bought her a car after hers died, I've bailed her out financially multiple times. I've literally been on my knees crying and begging her to get counseling, but she refuses. I had to get the police, the fbi and social services involved. I hate the fucking police, so thay want easy, but this isn't my mother anymore. :cry:

This is going to fuck my life up. I'm scaling back my growing if things don't smooth out, got 6 weeks to go on this cycle. I've already started giving away my surplus veg plants. She knows I grow and I don't know what vindictive shit she might pull. I'm legit, I just don't need the headache. I'm done with my cars, I'm thinking about selling my tools, :cry: I need to be ready to bounce and start over somewhere else if I can't get, at least, financial control of this house. It's just not worth putting the time, money and effort into this house if she's just going to lose it. My father would be so disappointed.


Ohhhhhh ohhhhhh! I got it! Give @mr sunshine your mom's email and he can woo her to fall in love with him and she can send him all her savings and he can start a savings account for you! Goddamn that's a good plan. Mr Sunshine brush up on your Nigerian. Maybe watch The Gods Must Be Crazy for research.
 

ANC

Well-Known Member
Jesus thats not going to help you with Nigerians.

Rustenburg on lockdown as protesters demand Nigerians to leave
NORTH WEST / 9 FEBRUARY 2018, 5:18PM / MOLAOLE MONTSHO

Rustenburg - Rustenburg was on a knife edge on Friday when protesters shut down Rustenburg, demanding that Nigerian nationals should leave.

The police used rubber bullets and smoke grenades to disperse a crowd chanting outside the magistrate's court, this was after they threatened to burn down the court building.

The court was hearing the bail application of 14 Nigerian men accused of public violence, when the threats to torch the court was made. The crowd wanted the court not to grant the men bail but to send them back to Nigeria.

Chief magistrate Ronnie Rampe walked into the courtroom, scribbled a message on a piece of paper and handed it over to magistrate Ziphora Phage, who is presiding over the matter. Phage briefly adjourned the proceedings, and when she returned, announced that the hearing would be adjourned as there was a threat to burnt down the court building.

The case was postponed to February 13.

Meanwhile, a bottle store was looted and roads were blocked with burning tyres.

https://www.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/north-west/pics-rustenburg-on-lockdown-as-protesters-demand-nigerians-to-leave-13198881
 

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
Jesus thats not going to help you with Nigerians.

Rustenburg on lockdown as protesters demand Nigerians to leave
NORTH WEST / 9 FEBRUARY 2018, 5:18PM / MOLAOLE MONTSHO

Rustenburg - Rustenburg was on a knife edge on Friday when protesters shut down Rustenburg, demanding that Nigerian nationals should leave.

The police used rubber bullets and smoke grenades to disperse a crowd chanting outside the magistrate's court, this was after they threatened to burn down the court building.

The court was hearing the bail application of 14 Nigerian men accused of public violence, when the threats to torch the court was made. The crowd wanted the court not to grant the men bail but to send them back to Nigeria.

Chief magistrate Ronnie Rampe walked into the courtroom, scribbled a message on a piece of paper and handed it over to magistrate Ziphora Phage, who is presiding over the matter. Phage briefly adjourned the proceedings, and when she returned, announced that the hearing would be adjourned as there was a threat to burnt down the court building.

The case was postponed to February 13.

Meanwhile, a bottle store was looted and roads were blocked with burning tyres.

https://www.iol.co.za/news/south-africa/north-west/pics-rustenburg-on-lockdown-as-protesters-demand-nigerians-to-leave-13198881
This time they are from Guiana, Nigerians get a pass.
 

whitebb2727

Well-Known Member
Last week i found out my mother is caught up in another, yeah another:roll:, fucking "Nigerian" lover scam. She lost all her inheritance, $120K+, 6 years ago to the same thing. She's convinced this guy loves her, she stopped paying her bills to send him all her money every month for the last year. She's never met him, but she's gone to the airport a half dozen times to meet him, but something always happens where he's not there. She gave him access to her credit card and money market accounts. She's bought him bitcoin. She's been bumming money off me the whole time, knowing I'm living off my, dwindling, savings. Her car is, literally, falling apart, the headlight is hanging on the wire and the fender was peeled off in an accident and duct taped back on:roll:. She's $5K behind on the equity loan, so I'm worried about the house I live in. It's "supposedly" my inheritance after my father's death, not officially, just on her word which isn't worth shit to me anymore, though she won't put me on the paperwork. I pay the taxes and insurance, only because she doesn't and they both fell into default multiple times, but she takes the tax write off. If i didn't, she woulda lost the house by now a coupe times.

For the last 2 years she had her friends and her side of the family convinced i was a verbally abusive asshole and that all her problems were my fault. She's been lying to them about this guy, she's got their families involved, using their info to send him money. She's got into a coupe of their faces, screaming at them when she found out they talked to each other and me about this situation. At least now they know the truth, it's all out in the open now. No more secrets.

I'm pretty sure I had an actual nervous breakdown. IDK what the fuck to do, this is the second time I've dealt with my own mother lying to my face, taking my money while she sends it over seas and showing no respect for me, she told me "maybe I shouldn't have trusted her". I don't get it, I was brought up in a home with strong family values, family came first, no matter what- before friends, before lovers, before the law. I've done nothing but try to help her, I orchestrated all the upgrades and remodeling work on her house after my father died, as she traveled for over a year. I bought her a car after hers died, I've bailed her out financially multiple times. I've literally been on my knees crying and begging her to get counseling, but she refuses. I had to get the police, the fbi and social services involved. I hate the fucking police, so thay want easy, but this isn't my mother anymore. :cry:

This is going to fuck my life up. I'm scaling back my growing if things don't smooth out, got 6 weeks to go on this cycle. I've already started giving away my surplus veg plants. She knows I grow and I don't know what vindictive shit she might pull. I'm legit, I just don't need the headache. I'm done with my cars, I'm thinking about selling my tools, :cry: I need to be ready to bounce and start over somewhere else if I can't get, at least, financial control of this house. It's just not worth putting the time, money and effort into this house if she's just going to lose it. My father would be so disappointed.

Damn. Sorry to hear that. Call the fbi.
 

BarnBuster

Virtually Unknown Member
Last week i found out my mother is caught up in another, yeah another:roll:, fucking "Nigerian" lover scam. She lost all her inheritance, $120K+, 6 years ago to the same thing. She's convinced this guy loves her, she stopped paying her bills to send him all her money every month for the last year. She's never met him, but she's gone to the airport a half dozen times to meet him, but something always happens where he's not there. She gave him access to her credit card and money market accounts. She's bought him bitcoin. She's been bumming money off me the whole time, knowing I'm living off my, dwindling, savings. Her car is, literally, falling apart, the headlight is hanging on the wire and the fender was peeled off in an accident and duct taped back on:roll:. She's $5K behind on the equity loan, so I'm worried about the house I live in. It's "supposedly" my inheritance after my father's death, not officially, just on her word which isn't worth shit to me anymore, though she won't put me on the paperwork. I pay the taxes and insurance, only because she doesn't and they both fell into default multiple times, but she takes the tax write off. If i didn't, she woulda lost the house by now a coupe times.

For the last 2 years she had her friends and her side of the family convinced i was a verbally abusive asshole and that all her problems were my fault. She's been lying to them about this guy, she's got their families involved, using their info to send him money. She's got into a coupe of their faces, screaming at them when she found out they talked to each other and me about this situation. At least now they know the truth, it's all out in the open now. No more secrets.

I'm pretty sure I had an actual nervous breakdown. IDK what the fuck to do, this is the second time I've dealt with my own mother lying to my face, taking my money while she sends it over seas and showing no respect for me, she told me "maybe I shouldn't have trusted her". I don't get it, I was brought up in a home with strong family values, family came first, no matter what- before friends, before lovers, before the law. I've done nothing but try to help her, I orchestrated all the upgrades and remodeling work on her house after my father died, as she traveled for over a year. I bought her a car after hers died, I've bailed her out financially multiple times. I've literally been on my knees crying and begging her to get counseling, but she refuses. I had to get the police, the fbi and social services involved. I hate the fucking police, so thay want easy, but this isn't my mother anymore. :cry:

This is going to fuck my life up. I'm scaling back my growing if things don't smooth out, got 6 weeks to go on this cycle. I've already started giving away my surplus veg plants. She knows I grow and I don't know what vindictive shit she might pull. I'm legit, I just don't need the headache. I'm done with my cars, I'm thinking about selling my tools, :cry: I need to be ready to bounce and start over somewhere else if I can't get, at least, financial control of this house. It's just not worth putting the time, money and effort into this house if she's just going to lose it. My father would be so disappointed.

Really sounds like your mom would benefit from a guardianship or conservatorship. If you have all this documented, you might seek out an Elder Law attorney and buy an hour of his time and explain what's going on. He can advise you how easy/difficult it would be to help your Mom. It's a tough situation. Good Luck
 

Fubard

Well-Known Member
Really sounds like your mom would benefit from a guardianship or conservatorship. If you have all this documented, you might seek out an Elder Law attorney and buy an hour of his time and explain what's going on. He can advise you how easy/difficult it would be to help your Mom. It's a tough situation. Good Luck
End result will be the same, she needs to be shocked out of this or she'll never change. He goes down the conservator route, the relationship is over. Does nothing, everything collapses around him.

Best is to say "enough" and tell her he's not bailing her out any more and walk away. The hardest thing to do, but it's a choice between things getting worse and his life being destroyed by mum's actions or trying to salvage what he has left.

Its a situation none of us would want to be in, the hardest choice to make, but if not then I can't see anything improving. You have to look after number 1, ultimately, and sometimes that means some very hard choices have to be made
 

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
Really sounds like your mom would benefit from a guardianship or conservatorship. If you have all this documented, you might seek out an Elder Law attorney and buy an hour of his time and explain what's going on. He can advise you how easy/difficult it would be to help your Mom. It's a tough situation. Good Luck
I've already talked to one. Not much I can do, she's not out of touch with reality enough to be deemed mentally incompetent. It's completely legal to make stupid financial decisions. That's why I had to get social services involved when she wouldn't voluntarily get help. She's broke and getting kicked out of where she lives. She told the social worker she's going to California, where this guy supposedly lives. They think I can get the guardian/ conservatorship, they just need to build the case. I don't really want it, as horrible as it sounds, at this point I don't want to have to take care of her any more. I have Crohns and the constant stress worrying about her is literally killing me. I didn't eat for 3 days after finding all this shit out, I just can't take it any more. I want the family property to be put into a trust, managed by a 3rd party so theres no conflict of interest and I want her to get counseling. After that, I don't really care what she does with her money. If she want to start being honest with me and stop stabbing me in the back, then we can work on having a relationship again.

Edit: I hope she doesn't move to Cali. That's at the top of my list of places to bounce to.
 

whitebb2727

Well-Known Member
I've already talked to one. Not much I can do, she's not out of touch with reality enough to be deemed mentally incompetent. It's completely legal to make stupid financial decisions. That's why I had to get social services involved when she wouldn't voluntarily get help. She's broke and getting kicked out of where she lives. She told the social worker she's going to California, where this guy supposedly lives. They think I can get the guardian/ conservatorship, they just need to build the case. I don't really want it, as horrible as it sounds, at this point I don't want to have to take care of her any more. I have Crohns and the constant stress worrying about her is literally killing me. I didn't eat for 3 days after finding all this shit out, I just can't take it any more. I want the family property to be put into a trust, managed by a 3rd party so theres no conflict of interest and I want her to get counseling. After that, I don't really care what she does with her money. If she want to start being honest with me and stop stabbing me in the back, then we can work on having a relationship again.

Edit: I hope she doesn't move to Cali. That's at the top of my list of places to bounce to.
There's enough there if you get a good attorney.
 

mr sunshine

Well-Known Member
Last week i found out my mother is caught up in another, yeah another:roll:, fucking "Nigerian" lover scam. She lost all her inheritance, $120K+, 6 years ago to the same thing. She's convinced this guy loves her, she stopped paying her bills to send him all her money every month for the last year. She's never met him, but she's gone to the airport a half dozen times to meet him, but something always happens where he's not there. She gave him access to her credit card and money market accounts. She's bought him bitcoin. She's been bumming money off me the whole time, knowing I'm living off my, dwindling, savings. Her car is, literally, falling apart, the headlight is hanging on the wire and the fender was peeled off in an accident and duct taped back on:roll:. She's $5K behind on the equity loan, so I'm worried about the house I live in. It's "supposedly" my inheritance after my father's death, not officially, just on her word which isn't worth shit to me anymore, though she won't put me on the paperwork. I pay the taxes and insurance, only because she doesn't and they both fell into default multiple times, but she takes the tax write off. If i didn't, she woulda lost the house by now a coupe times.

For the last 2 years she had her friends and her side of the family convinced i was a verbally abusive asshole and that all her problems were my fault. She's been lying to them about this guy, she's got their families involved, using their info to send him money. She's got into a coupe of their faces, screaming at them when she found out they talked to each other and me about this situation. At least now they know the truth, it's all out in the open now. No more secrets.

I'm pretty sure I had an actual nervous breakdown. IDK what the fuck to do, this is the second time I've dealt with my own mother lying to my face, taking my money while she sends it over seas and showing no respect for me, she told me "maybe I shouldn't have trusted her". I don't get it, I was brought up in a home with strong family values, family came first, no matter what- before friends, before lovers, before the law. I've done nothing but try to help her, I orchestrated all the upgrades and remodeling work on her house after my father died, as she traveled for over a year. I bought her a car after hers died, I've bailed her out financially multiple times. I've literally been on my knees crying and begging her to get counseling, but she refuses. I had to get the police, the fbi and social services involved. I hate the fucking police, so thay want easy, but this isn't my mother anymore. :cry:

This is going to fuck my life up. I'm scaling back my growing if things don't smooth out, got 6 weeks to go on this cycle. I've already started giving away my surplus veg plants. She knows I grow and I don't know what vindictive shit she might pull. I'm legit, I just don't need the headache. I'm done with my cars, I'm thinking about selling my tools, :cry: I need to be ready to bounce and start over somewhere else if I can't get, at least, financial control of this house. It's just not worth putting the time, money and effort into this house if she's just going to lose it. My father would be so disappointed.

Stop paying for the fucking Internet....pay the bills yourself, Don't hand anything but pocket change to her. Oh yes, FUCK THAT..seriously, take the Internet away from her gullible ass.
 

WeedFreak78

Well-Known Member
Stop paying for the fucking Internet....pay the bills yourself, Don't hand anything but pocket change to her. Oh yes, FUCK THAT..seriously, take the Internet away from her gullible ass.
I have no control over her getting internet. I tried locking her out of intentional calls/ text on the family cell phone plan we shared, but because it's in her name I couldn't do shit, I even informed our cell carrier that they were possibly facilitating international money laundering, they didn't care, so I split off and got my own plan. I'd gladly pay all the bills if I knew I was going to get something out of it. I've offered everything from taking over all the house related financials to buying the house outright at market value. At this point I'm just considering the house a loss and trying to plan around that. If I manage to save it, all the better.
 

mr sunshine

Well-Known Member
I have no control over her getting internet. I tried locking her out of intentional calls/ text on the family cell phone plan we shared, but because it's in her name I couldn't do shit, I even informed our cell carrier that they were possibly facilitating international money laundering, they didn't care, so I split off and got my own plan. I'd gladly pay all the bills if I knew I was going to get something out of it. I've offered everything from taking over all the house related financials to buying the house outright at market value. At this point I'm just considering the house a loss and trying to plan around that. If I manage to save it, all the better.
That sucks bro, I'd move out.
 
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