Rape

I know this is a dark scary sadistic topic to post about but it is something that is on my mind more often than I would like to admit.

According to statistics '1 in every 4 woman 'are raped at least once in their lives. Since most woman do not report this crimes I tend to think it is more.

There seems to be common issues and characteristics amongst these survivors...ie; trust issues etc
I am wondering if any others would like to share your opinions about this scary topic and bring some light to it.

There are so many things I want to ask about but I'm not sure I should

1/ Why do woman/men NOT report rape?
2/ Why is it so common and yet so disregarded? (people like to sweep it under the carpet like it doesn't happen)
3/ Why is it that most rapist are people you personally know and not merely strangers?
4/ Does councelling really help the people view themselves differently?

I'm not starting this thread to be a drama queen or am out to seek pity or attention. I sincerely want to know other people's viewpoints on it if anyone is bold enough to contribute.

1. they're probably too embarrased
2.Idk
3.Becuase they probably really like the victim and want to "be with them" but the victim doesn't want to .
4.I would think so

I've never been raped seeing as how I'm a male and no man will ever touch my dick without losing his "manhood". Except for doctors cause I don't want a hernia

I too am a man, and if a dude tries to rape me, then we're throwing down for three rounds. Anyways...

I don't think there are that many girls raped. Ask your friends, ask you friends friend. How many people do they know personally that have been raped?

Not trying to be a dick to you, but I question all these statistics. Who makes them, and who do they ask?

Horsetheband14 said:

I don't think there are that many girls raped. Ask your friends, ask you friends friend. How many people do they know personally that have been raped?

Not trying to be a dick to you, but I question all these statistics. Who makes them, and who do they ask?

Click to expand...

well I don't think they'll just be like " Oh yeah I got raped a while ago, cheers." But yeah ya know I do kinda agree I've only ever known of 1 girl that got attempted rape.

Horsetheband14 said:

I don't think there are that many girls raped. Ask your friends, ask you friends friend. How many people do they know personally that have been raped?

Not trying to be a dick to you, but I question all these statistics. Who makes them, and who do they ask?

Click to expand...

Wow,what makes you think there are not that many women/girls raped,i'd be willing to bet that the numbers are much higher than one in four.

Asking friends if they have been raped is futile,most women refuse to report a rape or even talk about it with their friends, family or husbands.

Here's a quick question for ya,let's say you got popped & had to do a 5 year bit in the joint,now some dude named slick takes a liking to you,next thing you know your sucking cock in order to stay alive,would you be johnny on the spot to run around talking about it to your friends or to even report it to the police,or would it be something you suck up & keep inside ????????????

No need for the usual rehetoric that goes along with prison rape,the question was hypothetical in nature.

panhead said:

Wow,what makes you think there are not that many women/girls raped,i'd be willing to bet that the numbers are much higher than one in four.

Asking friends if they have been raped is futile,most women refuse to report a rape or even talk about it with their friends, family or husbands.

Here's a quick question for ya,let's say you got popped & had to do a 5 year bit in the joint,now some dude named slick takes a liking to you,next thing you know your sucking cock in order to stay alive,would you be johnny on the spot to run around talking about it to your friends or to even report it to the police,or would it be something you suck up & keep inside ????????????

No need for the usual rehetoric that goes along with prison rape,the question was hypothetical in nature.

Click to expand...

good point, if I got raped I'd never tell anyone. That'd be damn embarrassing and gay.

Good point made me rethink my position, although i think 1 in 10 may be a better statistic. It's all up to your interpretation.

Well, why the statistic, 1 in 4 woman are raped at one point in their life, is so high is that rape covers more than the traditional act that comes into mind, it rather encompasses a broader range of unwanted sexual advances. And a lot of women have been confronted with some sort of uncomfortable or unwanted sexual behavior in a point in their lives.

The victim's age is a contributing factor to the outcome of the victim's mentality and well-being. At a younger age, there is a higher chance of mental trauma will result in a distrust for men and possibly give rise to some sort altered sexual orientation or behavior.

There are cases of where the victim feels embarrassed or insanely enough, feels responsible for it. This developes a weaker willed person and commonly will suffer from some type of depression.

It generally is some sort of relative or friend of the family that commits the atrocities, and because so, the victim does not report because it would cause commotion. Again, this is influenced by the age of the victim, and generally they do not know any better and doesn't want to upset the family and stir up trouble. It is truly sad to see innocence defiled.

And yes, councelling will help someone who has been affected. It can help build up self esteem and ease a troubled mind.

However, Lacy, my advice to you is not to dwell on this. It is good to be wary, but not consumed with it. Most girls who keep raped is because they put up no resistance, and remember this, if the attacker senses that you will just submit and not cause a ruckus, they will commence. However, if you kick and scream and give them hell like you have never done before, 99% chance they will get out of there, they are looking for an easy target, if they have to deal you putting up a fight, they will bail out.

I was hanging out at the mall with this girl i realllly liked and her freind heather
[this was back in middle school]

we were about to leave so about to call for our ride's when some high schooler dude happen to be leaveing that she knew..so i rode home with my parents / heather rode home with her parents and kelsey got into the car with the guy to go home



later that night 11ish pm she called me crying saying that he had raped her


she told her bf of the time and he told everyone that she just made the whole story up for attention so she never called the cops



ive sorta always blamed it on myself..ya know?
if only i would have given her a ride home =\

WeFallToday said:

I was hanging out at the mall with this girl i realllly liked and her freind heather
[this was back in middle school]

we were about to leave so about to call for our ride's when some high schooler dude happen to be leaveing that she knew..so i rode home with my parents / heather rode home with her parents and kelsey got into the car with the guy to go home



later that night 11ish pm she called me crying saying that he had raped her


she told her bf of the time and he told everyone that she just made the whole story up for attention so she never called the cops



ive sorta always blamed it on myself..ya know?
if only i would have given her a ride home =\

Click to expand...

Man, that's so sad. I don't understand how a human being can do that to another human being. It's not your fault, tho. You had no way of knowing.

I gotta say something tho to the people making comments like 'If a dude tried to rape me. I'd beat his ass.'- Grow the fuck up. This a sensitive and serious topic to many people. We all know you guys are too macho and badass for that to ever happen.

Lacy, I find your post interesting because this is a subject I've thought about from time to time and wondered about the same things (I'm female, if that makes any difference). I am always a little sceptical about these statistics - 1 in 4 women... etc. - because if they are not reporting the incident or discussing it, how is their experience able to be incorporated into such statistics in the first place?

When I think of all the close female friends I have and have had over my life (I am in my early 30s), I have never once heard any of them claim to be a victim of such a crime. The only firsthand experience I've ever had with the issue was when I was at university and volunteered to work at the uni helpline and one night a girl phoned and was really distraught, saying she'd been raped. I found it a really unpleasant experience and while I felt so terribly sorry for her, I am ashamed to admit that when she relayed the story which included excessive drinking and going home with a man she had only known for a few hours, some small (and very uncharitable!) part of me couldn't help but feel she bore some responsibility for what had happened. I know that a lot of people would probably feel more extreme in that view and perhaps that is what puts people off reporting such crimes, not to mention the potential trauma of dealing with police, being examined physically and even having to go to trial. Additionally I think that when a lot of women who have no firsthand experience of rape imagine such a thing, they picture the attacker as being a stranger/intruder. I think that sometimes it may be difficult to draw the line between excessive pressure from a man to have sex and rape, particularly if the victim has been a willing and physically receptive participant up to a certain point.

I think that it's easy to forget how much has changed for women even in the last half-century. I was really surprised to learn that spousal rape was not outlawed here in the UK until the early 1990s and the blame-the-victim mentality was very much in force up until very recently and it does take time for such attitudes to change. While they are in effect, even if only currently amongst the unenlightened and older generations, this will prove an obstacle to victims reporting such crimes.

As far as counselling goes, I am not sure. I have never had to seek any kind of counselling personally, but sometimes I think (in a kind of self-indulgent way) that it would be nice to unashamedly talk about nothing but yourself and your own feelings for hours on end and know the recipient was professionally forced to remain objective. I guess for someone who feels they can't speak to someone they know through shame/guilt/uncertainty etc. it might be helpful to get a bit of perspective on the situation and if the person is surrounded by people who all share similar views and opinions, a bit of objectivity or a different viewpoint mightbe helpful in coming to terms with the issue.

I also remember watching a programme on TV a while back on Britain's most common sexual fantasies - male and female - and a rape scenario rated pretty highly for women. The show was quick to bring on a number of psychologists to comment that this in no way indicated a desire to be raped in reality but I guess if you have had those fantasies, it may decrease the likelihood of reporting such a crime and encourage self-blame.

Horsetheband14 said:

I too am a man, and if a dude tries to rape me, then we're throwing down for three rounds. Anyways...

I don't think there are that many girls raped. Ask your friends, ask you friends friend. How many people do they know personally that have been raped?

Not trying to be a dick to you, but I question all these statistics. Who makes them, and who do they ask?

Click to expand...

panhead said:

Wow,what makes you think there are not that many women/girls raped,i'd be willing to bet that the numbers are much higher than one in four.

Asking friends if they have been raped is futile,most women refuse to report a rape or even talk about it with their friends, family or husbands.Exactly. I have to admit that this is most likely the case. Its an embarrassment.

Here's a quick question for ya,let's say you got popped & had to do a 5 year bit in the joint,now some dude named slick takes a liking to you,next thing you know your sucking cock in order to stay alive,would you be johnny on the spot to run around talking about it to your friends or to even report it to the police,or would it be something you suck up & keep inside ????????????I didn't really think of this but it would be the same type of thing.

No need for the usual rehetoric that goes along with prison rape,the question was hypothetical in nature.

Click to expand...

Charfizcool said:

good point, if I got raped I'd never tell anyone. That'd be damn embarrassing and gay.

Click to expand...

Yes I agree

Lacy said:

I know this is a dark scary sadistic topic to post about but it is something that is on my mind more often than I would like to admit.

According to statistics '1 in every 4 woman 'are raped at least once in their lives. Since most woman do not report this crimes I tend to think it is more.

There seems to be common issues and characteristics amongst these survivors...ie; trust issues etc
I am wondering if any others would like to share your opinions about this scary topic and bring some light to it.

There are so many things I want to ask about but I'm not sure I should

1/ Why do woman/men NOT report rape?
2/ Why is it so common and yet so disregarded? (people like to sweep it under the carpet like it doesn't happen)
3/ Why is it that most rapist are people you personally know and not merely strangers?
4/ Does councelling really help the people view themselves differently?

I'm not starting this thread to be a drama queen or am out to seek pity or attention. I sincerely want to know other people's viewpoints on it if anyone is bold enough to contribute.

Click to expand...

1. I agree with the answers some others have said, about embarrassment, or shame, or whatever. I was raped by a relative, in my grandmother's house, and you know what one of the things I remember the most is? While it was happening, I kept looking towards the door, not cuz I was hoping someone would come save me, but because I was so SCARED someone would come in, and I'd be in trouble. Obviously I was very young when it happened. I don't even know why I thought that, but I specifically remember that fear of being in trouble, that I was doing something bad.

2. Honestly don't know

3. Because it's easier to rape someone you know than someone you don't. Someone you don't know isn't usually going to trust you to let you get that close to them. I mean, trying to rape someone you don't know means you have to attack them and subdue them...to much work. It's so much easier to jjust find a victim closer to home. I DO NOT think that rape has anything to do with attraction (most cases anyways...). Psychologists say that rape has more to do with power than sex.

4. I wouldn't know.

Horsetheband14 said:

I too am a man, and if a dude tries to rape me, then we're throwing down for three rounds. Anyways...

I don't think there are that many girls raped. Ask your friends, ask you friends friend. How many people do they know personally that have been raped?

Not trying to be a dick to you, but I question all these statistics. Who makes them, and who do they ask?

Click to expand...

Actually, I know a LOT of women who have been raped, or molested or sexually abused in some way at some point in their lives. It shocked me when I started to realize just how many women have that in common.

iblazethatkush said:

I gotta say something tho to the people making comments like 'If a dude tried to rape me. I'd beat his ass.'- Grow the fuck up. This a sensitive and serious topic to many people. We all know you guys are too macho and badass for that to ever happen.

Click to expand...

I know, like there is anyone out there who really THOUGHT they would be a rape victim.

Wow zenmaster.

ZenMaster said:

Well, why the statistic, 1 in 4 woman are raped at one point in their life, is so high is that rape covers more than the traditional act that comes into mind, it rather encompasses a broader range of unwanted sexual advances. And a lot of women have been confronted with some sort of uncomfortable or unwanted sexual behavior in a point in their lives.Yes I wondered about this same scenerio. I suppose it how rape is defined. If rape is defined as 'unwanted sexual advances' than yes I suppose we could all claim rape but I do honestly think the statistics are higher. I think most people are approached by a family member or friend of the family; friend of a friend or neighbour and because of the shock and embarrassment most are not reported.

The victim's age is a contributing factor to the outcome of the victim's mentality and well-being. At a younger age, there is a higher chance of mental trauma will result in a distrust for men and possibly give rise to some sort altered sexual orientation or behavior.Yes I agree.

There are cases of where the victim feels embarrassed or insanely enough, feels responsible for it. This developes a weaker willed person and commonly will suffer from some type of depression.I think many women do feel responsible for it;like they did something to provoke that type of behaviour and because of this I think it is suppressed and shoved so far down that it does cause depression.

It generally is some sort of relative or friend of the family that commits the atrocities, and because so, the victim does not report because it would cause commotion. Again, this is influenced by the age of the victim, and generally they do not know any better and doesn't want to upset the family and stir up trouble. It is truly sad to see innocence defiled.Yes indeed. Thats is very insightful. And I suppose these very people do not want to be responsible if their own family were to break apart because of it.

And yes, councelling will help someone who has been affected. It can help build up self esteem and ease a troubled mind.

However, Lacy, my advice to you is not to dwell on this. It is good to be wary, but not consumed with it. Its very difficult to not be consumed with it. There isn't a day that goes by that I do not think of it. There are so many things that remind me of it. Flashbacks are common place and you never know when they are going to come.Most girls who keep raped is because they put up no resistance, and remember this, if the attacker senses that you will just submit and not cause a ruckus, they will commence. However, if you kick and scream and give them hell like you have never done before, 99% chance they will get out of there, they are looking for an easy target, if they have to deal you putting up a fight, they will bail out.

Click to expand...

Oh hell. You have no idea what a fighter I am. I kicked sratched clawed bit punched yelled screamed....you name it. When you are outnumbered it doesn't do much good but I definitely agree with what you are saying. Don't give up without a fight.

I think that men and women have a different idea of rape in general. Men view it as a man sticking his cock in their ass, not as a woman forcing them to have sex with her. Women consider it more as any unwanted or uncomfortable sexual advance from a man.

I'm not saying that's the only reason for the stat, just a contributing factor. Shame is another good one.

Lacy said:

You have no idea what a fighter I am. I kicked sratched clawed bit punched yelled screamed....you name it. When you are outnumbered it doesn't do much good but I definitely agree with what you are saying. Don't give up without a fight.

Click to expand...

Apparently rape victims who fight back are more able to come to terms with the incident afterwards in a healthy way than those who react passively. I think that this can apply to any situation in life and personally I really admire you for being able to do so. I still find myself working hard sometimes to be as assertive as I'd like to be in situations, and when I fail it does make me wonder how I'd be able to react if I ever did find myself in a situation where I really had to fight hard. Sometimes I think that the desire to be nice/agreeable/not wish to be a troublemaker leads people to behave in a way they regret and even if putting up a fight proves to be futile, at least you help preserve your self-respect by doing so.

Wikidbchofthewst said:

1. I agree with the answers some others have said, about embarrassment, or shame, or whatever. I was raped by a relative, in my grandmother's house, and you know what one of the things I remember the most is? While it was happening, I kept looking towards the door, not cuz I was hoping someone would come save me, but because I was so SCARED someone would come in, and I'd be in trouble. Obviously I was very young when it happened. I don't even know why I thought that, but I specifically remember that fear of being in trouble, that I was doing something bad. Awww wikid chick Yes i also agree with the common reason being shame. Yes even as a kid you have an inner gut feeling that something is wrong even if you cannot distinguish at such an age.
That shame just fuels the idea of keeping it a secret which makes the situation even worse.

2. Honestly don't knowme neither

3. Because it's easier to rape someone you know than someone you don't. Someone you don't know isn't usually going to trust you to let you get that close to them. I mean, trying to rape someone you don't know means you have to attack them and subdue them...to much work. It's so much easier to jjust find a victim closer to home. I DO NOT think that rape has anything to do with attraction (most cases anyways...). Psychologists say that rape has more to do with power than sex.I think you are right. People that know you have a better opportunity and it is less expected.
Yes I tend to agree with you in that rape isn't as much of a sexual thing as it is a power thing. The times that this happened to me I blamed myself for wearing shorts or looking trying to look too good.
I thought that perhaps I did deserve it. After it happened I tried to make myself as ugly as I possibly could by gaining as much weight as I could and dressing ugly. This didn't help but just contributed to my lack of self respect.



4. I wouldn't know.Yeah me neither. I have spoken to many women who have been raped and it is not as uncommon as you would think.



Actually, I know a LOT of women who have been raped, or molested or sexually abused in some way at some point in their lives. It shocked me when I started to realize just how many women have that in common.



I know, like there is anyone out there who really THOUGHT they would be a rape victim.

Click to expand...

Exactly. Someone wrote that most woman have sexual fantasies about being raped and some feel that some woman deep inside wanted it that way. I mean come on. There is a HUGE difference between creating a fabricated fantasy and being brutally attacked.

Thanks for our imput wikid. Always appreciate your comments hon.

This may be so but I wasn't talking about the 'no not tonight hone...I'm not in the mood' kind of thing. I am talking about being brutalloy and violently attacked and raped.

Yeah said:

I think that men and women have a different idea of rape in general. Men view it as a man sticking his cock in their ass, not as a woman forcing them to have sex with her. Women consider it more as any unwanted or uncomfortable sexual advance from a man.

I'm not saying that's the only reason for the stat, just a contributing factor. Shame is another good one.

Click to expand...

I think shame is the number 1 contributing factor as to why these things are not reported.
Sad to say but true.

I totally agree, there's a difference between someone's rape FANTASY, and an actual rape. Rape is something you don't want. You can be a person who has fantasized about rape, and if someone forces sex on you that you don't want, does that mean you weren't raped because you've wanted it before?

I remember once I got into this argument with a girl who told me she wanted to be raped. I said, "If you want it, it's not rape."