No weed for 3 months, out of beer. Can't drink anyway. Need some support y'all.

Not gonna bother you guys with my life story but... Had a boy 4 months ago. Decided to quit growing. Now I'm back. Set up a small grow box. About 1/8 of what I used to have. Very stealth. Wife don't want me drinking. Understandably (I guess). Have been an asshole in the past. Anyway...

Got a knot in my pocket. Called my one an only guy that I know. He never fuckin' calls back. Went to his house. Girl answered the door. Said she'd tell him I came by. He never called. BIG suprise. About 11:30 tonight after wife and baby were in bed I went to the sto' and got two fo' o's. Sucked 'em down in private. Feel like shit not only from the alcohol, but because I lost 140 pounds over a period of 12 months two years ago and sugar makes me feel like ass, but because I'm drinking in private. My wife has no problem with me growing or smoking. I just went low key because I knew that eventually I'd have to hide it from my boy. We' plan to get a place out in the country eventually and then I'll grow outside once a year. My perspective has really changed since my boy Trevor (I call him T-Bone) has come around.

Anyway, I'm sorta drunk, out of booze and probably won't see any dope until my stash is done. I need support. Feel like an asshole for drinking behind my wife's back, but damn man I needed a buzz. I was hooked on benzo's for most of last year and kicked cold turkey. NOT A GOOD IDEA. I had a convulsion and nearly ate my own tongue. I'm an alcoholic and drank HEAVY until I was about 28 (35 now), started growing my own, decided to quit drinking, got about 10 I.T. certifications (I DIDN'T CHEAT), decided I.T. SUCKS and went back to being a skilled tradesman. Shit dried up, been at home for 2 years. Started smoking and growing again a couple years ago.

Long story short, I'm out of beer, can't drink in public, and won't see dope for at least 3 months. Give me some support...

FWIW, I lost my weight by going lacto-ovo vegetarian. High fiber low-fat no sugar. I've been pumping iron for the last 16 weeks and hitting the "tread" at 4.0 MPH and 15% for 40 minutes every other day and getting RIPPED. I look fucking RIDICULOUS. I went from looking like Mario Batalli to looking like Vinny on Jersey Shore.

Peace.

its gonna be a long 3 months

damn.. 3 hours is long for me.. let alone 3 months!

Sorry to hear pf your troubles. I too am an alcoholic (although no longer sober) and I too hid my drinking from loved ones. Made me feel like absolute shit. I was sober for a few months but just couldn't do it man. I've since done some serious cutting back on my drinking ( I was a twelve pack a day drinker) and things have been going well so far. I'm no aa sponsor but feel free to message me anytime you're feeling down I know what its like wanting that drink sooooo bad. Best of luck and hope you find some smoke soon. Having a steady supply of smoke is the only thing helping me control my drinking.

If you look like Vinnie on Jersey Shore after your weight loss I hit the nearest Mc D's and binge eat!!! ASAP!!!

Been several weeks for me myself, not because I can't get any, but I need to be clean and find some extra income other then my self contacting stuff!

As an alcoholic who tends to fuck myself every time, I would say do you best to stay away from the booze! It will only hurt you in the end!

More so you have a little man who needs his dad straight and sober.... Booze is bad and twists your mind! Whiskey makes me evil, vodka makes me stupid and well beer makes me pee!

Weed only mellows me!

Honestly if you need help/support from someone with the same issues PM me! I KNOW it is a battle and fellowship does help!

Hey man. That is a real shitty situation. We're all in them..Thats the gift of life, its shitty!!!!!!! But I'll tell ya man most women are really crazy and its usually the opposite. Usually she makes you quit smoking and drinking (sensible drinking) is usually not cared. But sounds like you have someone who is fucking cool as shit and lets you still grow, an extremely small scale, however, but nonetheless still growing!!! Thats awesome and would keep me going for a while. It's different when you sacrifice somethings and keep others and just completely sacrifice everything. At least you have something left. A couple months ago I was finally able to start my first real grow and basically long story short the plant failed me and I was left with nothing. No more seeds, only had one shot at it cause my roommate wasn't cool with it(dick), and basically I was completely empty and lost for a while. No interest in shit and just hated everything. All I wanted to do was grow cause it was all I had. I did research on rollitup all the time and learned so many new and interesting things. Then the growing was over and I had nothing to do. Nothing I wanted to do. My roommates were constantly off doing their own stupid shit so that plant kept awesome company. When it died I felt like my company died. Really sobby and gay and shit but someone as passionate about growing as I am would definitely understand. Sorry for going on and on, looks like more than one of us needs some support.

But yea man from what I see its bullshit, but you still got plants, you can still get a little buzz here and there when you really need it. Who cares if you go behind your wife's back. If she really cared about you, she wouldn't mind if you did that once in a while and didn't do it in a stupid way( drunk in public and pretty much anything stupid while being drunk, you know) she should understand, especially if it isn't bothering, concerning, involving, or whatever to anyone else. If its really bad, try and score some bud from a close friend. In the end, who gives a shit if you went behind her back, as long as your responsible and it doesn't impact you in a negative way. I would just be honest with her cause she sounds cool enough. Just say listen, I kinda bought a couple beers and drank them the other day...can she really go ape shit cause of that? Plus your being honest so you should never feel bad. at least you dont have some kind of crazy neurological disorder that makes you have weird spasms every time you get up and walk somewhere. Now that would be annoying and shitty.

good luck man, we gotta get through this shit!

Hey y'all it's about 24 hours later and I'm fucking drunk again. Found some dude on CL to come get me stoned last night. Came home and doors were locked. Wife was PISSED. Didn't know I was drinking though. She just thought I went out and got stoned. DAMN I was hungover today though. Blamed it on my sinuses.

Dopeman called me today. Said he'd come hook me up with an onion of schwag tomorrow. Not gonna smoke on days when I don't hit the treadmill and never gonna smoke before 8 PM. Bad part is that I'm a TOTAL all or nothing guy. When I do something I go at it 200 percent. That's how I lost 140 pounds. I do NOT fuck around. FWIW I don't care what I say to anyone. I have ZERO scruples. If I think you're an asshole, I will say so without regret. I decided not too long ago that I'd rather regret something I did or said than something I DIDN'T do or say.

Got 3 fortys tonight. Not gonna spring out the pad though. It's all good in the hood. I got my guitars my dope-ass grow cab (will post pics shortly). So it's all good in tha hood.

Outkast's first record just came up on MediaMonkey so I ain't worried about it...

Crumblin' 'Erb. Just Crumblin' 'Erb...

You owe it to your family to stop drinking, and stay stopped. My opinion. cn

cannabineer said:

You owe it to your family to stop drinking, and stay stopped. My opinion. cn

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I don't owe my wife, son, or anyone else in this world SHIT. Nor do they to me. I give 200 to everything. My mentality will never be broken. My son will be raised that way, not have to realize it on his own like I did.

Just like I can see right through people, they see something in me 'cause they never quit staring.

Think about it, how many times has someone pissed you off and you didn't say anything? I said FUCK THAT and I say whatever is on my mind. If they don't like it FUCK 'EM. What are they gonna do SHOOT ME? On that same token, they can feel free to fire right back. Funny thing is that they never do...

God bless Gordon Ramsay, Dana White, and all the other "assholes" that don't take shit off anyone and tell it like it is.

Most recent example. I was in CiCi's Pizza (Feces Pizza), and requested a thin veggie. Waited over 20 minutes for it. When I went up to the bar, there was this gigantic meat-inhaling thing of a woman there. She asks the guy working the oven, "Do you have that thin pizza? You know, the one with all the veggies on it???"

At about this time, she as well as myself, see it on the buffet. She starts grabbing piece after FUCKING piece. After she has half of the Goddamn thing on her plate, I look straight at her melon and say "Jesus, you gonna take all of it you fat motherfucker?". She drops the tongs and never even looks my way. Had I not said anything, she's have had that whole fucking pizza on her plate. That's WHY you gotta speak up and not give a FUCK.

I could give you 100 examples of this shit since I decided to quit taking shit of anyone...

Yeah, I was going to be all supportive and write something inspirational but after your last post.... fuck it.

I think you lost 140lbs of common sense.

Thanks for the support.

Stomata said:

I don't owe my wife, son, or anyone else in this world SHIT. Nor do they to me. I give 200 to everything. My mentality will never be broken. My son will be raised that way, not have to realize it on his own like I did.

Just like I can see right through people, they see something in me 'cause they never quit staring.

Think about it, how many times has someone pissed you off and you didn't say anything? I said FUCK THAT and I say whatever is on my mind. If they don't like it FUCK 'EM. What are they gonna do SHOOT ME? On that same token, they can feel free to fire right back. Funny thing is that they never do...

God bless Gordon Ramsay, Dana White, and all the other "assholes" that don't take shit off anyone and tell it like it is.

Most recent example. I was in CiCi's Pizza (Feces Pizza), and requested a thin veggie. Waited over 20 minutes for it. When I went up to the bar, there was this gigantic meat-inhaling thing of a woman there. She asks the guy working the oven, "Do you have that thin pizza? You know, the one with all the veggies on it???"

At about this time, she as well as myself, see it on the buffet. She starts grabbing piece after FUCKING piece. After she has half of the Goddamn thing on her plate, I look straight at her melon and say "Jesus, you gonna take all of it you fat motherfucker?". She drops the tongs and never even looks my way. Had I not said anything, she's have had that whole fucking pizza on her plate. That's WHY you gotta speak up and not give a FUCK.

I could give you 100 examples of this shit since I decided to quit taking shit of anyone...

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Dude you need to take a step back and fuck your own face. Seriously you are in some type of psychotic delerium. Stop drinking and get a better perspective on life you dummy.

You're probably both sausage inhaling grease balls.

Go tell Ronald your story.

Perspective? That the whole system is out to fuck us? YOU need to take a step back bro. When I see food prices going up 30 percent in one year, there is something wrong. And MAYBE if more people were outspoken and as big of "assholes" as me, then shit would change.

I went to the manager of Wal-Mart and told him that I can't wait until he, myself, and all the Walton kids are burning in Hell.

Do you fucking REALIZE that if you took the bottom 100 MILLION earners in this country (1/3 of our population) and added ALL Of their income together that the Walton kids are STILL worth more than that??? Open your fuckin' eyes man.

Stomata said:

Perspective? That the whole system is out to fuck us? YOU need to take a step back bro. When I see food prices going up 30 percent in one year, there is something wrong. And MAYBE if more people were outspoken and as big of "assholes" as me, then shit would change.

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SO since food prices are going up 30% doesnt mean you should yell at the fat lady at the buffet line. They will make some more veggie pizza if you want and you won't look like such a piece of shit.

Da Almighty Jew said:

SO since food prices are going up 30% doesnt mean you should yell at the fat lady at the buffet line. They will make some more veggie pizza if you want and you won't look like such a piece of shit.

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But she's the one eating all the Velveeta from Wal-Mart. Don't you see that? She's feeding the machine and that shit hast to STOP. Take what you need and then QUIT.

We all put 10 plants in 10 square feet when we started. We eventually learned how to find a balance. That's the problem with this country. There's no balance. It's MOAR and that's the way THEY want it. MOAR, MOAR, MOAR,. How about sit back, take it in, and then make a decision? Fuck THAT. Gimme NOW NOW NOW.

It's the MOAR mentality.

That's why people buy half-millon dollar homes within feet of each other. So they can show off their shit. Look at my car, my kids, my jewels. FUCK THAT. Drive down the cul-de-sac and see the garage packed full of shit. So full they can't fit their car in anymore.

Got a pair of shoes on your feet? Yeah. Are they clean? Kind-of... Do they have holes in 'em? Not yet... Well get a sponge boy and clean 'em up. We might not have the nicest shit in town but I guaran-godddamn-tee it can be be cleanest. Moral? Take care of what you have. Don't let it go to shit and then throw it away. Because sadly that's become the American way.

OPEN YOUR EYES. We ARE the 99 motherfucker. The Federal Reserve and Wal-Mart own us.

How much benzo were you popping when you decided to quit? I've always heard that kicking benzos is "worse than kicking heroin."

Go into any Wal-Mart on the first. Guess what? EVERTHING is gone. You know why? Because the FOOD STAMP JUNKIES are on the prowl.

The US Government might as well as be pouring BILLIONS of dollars STRAIGHT into the pockets of the Waltons.

It's no different with the Super-PAC's in effect right now. Corporate control of our Government and election system. It's time to say NO MORE.

OPEN YOUR EYES.