Nine Years Trapped Inside My Own Head
- Thread starter CanadianCoyote
- Start date
blinkykush
Well-Known Member
have you seen my baseball?
im a minor and im goin thru sum shit im on bipolar meds and anti-depressants if i say like its not working or sumthing they increase the mg and then i get nacious from those fuckin zolofts i hate meds i just wanna toke and be a regular kid=[ if only it were that easy
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
Whatever you do -- don't let them find out you toke until you're at least 18. 20 to be safe.
Have you found the source of your depression?
- I've never actually been "Depressed", obviously i've felt like shit before, in a mental state and a physical state, but never diagnosed with depression.
IMO. western medicine and medical practice is bullshit.
I think the worst thing to do is actually take the medicine, like you're saying you get sick when you wing yourself off of them.
thats what they want to happen, so you go back in, get something else and spend a lot more money. its all about money and keeping the population sick. repeat customers.
I believe every sickness/disease has a opposite, ie a cure whether or not we know what it is is a different story.
I would recommend obviously more of the jane if at all possible.
I have personally experiences of healing physical pain with weed, and i would imagine you could get yourself on track and in stable condition. but first of all, try and get off all types of medical pills, real healthy diet, not to many fatty foods, and get out in nature.
good luck in your journey, and may the weed be with you.
- I've never actually been "Depressed", obviously i've felt like shit before, in a mental state and a physical state, but never diagnosed with depression.
IMO. western medicine and medical practice is bullshit.
I think the worst thing to do is actually take the medicine, like you're saying you get sick when you wing yourself off of them.
thats what they want to happen, so you go back in, get something else and spend a lot more money. its all about money and keeping the population sick. repeat customers.
I believe every sickness/disease has a opposite, ie a cure whether or not we know what it is is a different story.
I would recommend obviously more of the jane if at all possible.
I have personally experiences of healing physical pain with weed, and i would imagine you could get yourself on track and in stable condition. but first of all, try and get off all types of medical pills, real healthy diet, not to many fatty foods, and get out in nature.
good luck in your journey, and may the weed be with you.
Hydrotech364
Well-Known Member
I live on a dead end road way out in a natl forest.I have P.T.S.D and anxiety i think i inherited from my mom,shot two men on this property different times.i take 2mg of xanax a day,I know everyone hates them,the va will give me anything but them.so i have to see a crooked dr to get them.weed and xanax are my only vices.my dad says ill be handing out the fucking watchtower if i quit anything else,hes a state official [ret]anyway if there is anything out there that produces the same calming effect please let me know.anxiety is hard to describe and ptsd is something you people dont need to know about,war is hell!!!!
i dont fear any man or anything,its a different kind of feeling,worthlessness worry about everything.people plotting against you etc.....but if anyone knows something that would work plz post it.i have taken everything.else i know how they feel bro.i hope it all works out man,peace
i dont fear any man or anything,its a different kind of feeling,worthlessness worry about everything.people plotting against you etc.....but if anyone knows something that would work plz post it.i have taken everything.else i know how they feel bro.i hope it all works out man,peace
closet.cult
New Member
9 years ago i was excommunicated from my church. i was disowned by my family. i fell into heavy drug experimentation. i was then robbed at gunpoint, in my apartment, stripped naked.
i was put on butran, xxanex and prozac- all together, to keep me from going mad. about two months in I realized THEY were helping me go mad by deadening my emotions behind the haze of mind-clouding medications. i quit them all cold-turkey and just stuck with weed, everyday.
if you're diagnosed with depression, but its just from external forces in your life, not internal chemical imbalances, try to get off the drug company's poisons as soon as possible. cannabis is the best medicine for depression. it's the best medicine for a host of physical and mental problems. the drug companies know it. the government knows it. THAT'S why it is illegal.
you are not alone. good luck as you transverse your life in all it's full, lucid glory. high!, not doped up.
i was put on butran, xxanex and prozac- all together, to keep me from going mad. about two months in I realized THEY were helping me go mad by deadening my emotions behind the haze of mind-clouding medications. i quit them all cold-turkey and just stuck with weed, everyday.
if you're diagnosed with depression, but its just from external forces in your life, not internal chemical imbalances, try to get off the drug company's poisons as soon as possible. cannabis is the best medicine for depression. it's the best medicine for a host of physical and mental problems. the drug companies know it. the government knows it. THAT'S why it is illegal.
you are not alone. good luck as you transverse your life in all it's full, lucid glory. high!, not doped up.
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
Thank you. Thank you so much!
Live by the sword, die by the sword.
-I hear ya on the drug testing, the biggest invasion of privacy known to man.
i've had a few run ins at testing places and haven't turned out good, missed a few good jobs because of it. But i believe i am a better person today because i was real about it, and i've gotten through some tough times when only the chronic was with me.
I read its been a pain to find a job in MI. that is unfortunate have you considered moving, or is all the family in the area?(my moms side moved from allegan/plainwell area where my gramps was born and raised)
obviously i don't know your entire situation, but maybe a change of pace or direction would help out, get the ball rolling.
Back to the original quote, I would say, being in good health is more important than a job. All you need to survive is, food, water, shelter and clothing, while these things all cost money, there are ways around it.
RandomJesus
Well-Known Member
I have PTSD some days are worse than others, But what you wrote struck a chord in me...that's how I feel
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
There are certain strains of weed that have a powerful calming effect that also help depression. I believe the "Strawberry Cough" strain is one of the best for that sort of thing. Research strains, chances are you'll find one to fit your needs.
Xanax can be good for temporary relief of stress an anxiety, but taking it for long periods of time can create a horrible dependency on it. There's a reason doctor's don't like to prescribe it, it's highly addictive and has a lot of "potential abuse" qualities. If you can, I'd recommend getting off the Xanax as soon as possible.
I'd recommend finding a therapist to talk to. The VA would definitely help you there. While it's tempting to control your symptoms with pills, I think talking out your demons would help. That's just my two cents, just a suggestion. It's hard to talk about shit, especially horrendous and life-altering shit, but if you don't talk about it it eats your insides. If you DO go to a therapist, be open and up front about your marijuana use. You'd be surprised. Make sure you're going to a THERAPIST and not a PSYCHIATRIST. The psych'll dope you up so fast ...
Weed is a wonderful thing, and I hope it's helping you. It's certainly better for you (mentally and physically) than the Xanax. Just hang in there, that's all any of us can do.
Xanax can be good for temporary relief of stress an anxiety, but taking it for long periods of time can create a horrible dependency on it. There's a reason doctor's don't like to prescribe it, it's highly addictive and has a lot of "potential abuse" qualities. If you can, I'd recommend getting off the Xanax as soon as possible.
I'd recommend finding a therapist to talk to. The VA would definitely help you there. While it's tempting to control your symptoms with pills, I think talking out your demons would help. That's just my two cents, just a suggestion. It's hard to talk about shit, especially horrendous and life-altering shit, but if you don't talk about it it eats your insides. If you DO go to a therapist, be open and up front about your marijuana use. You'd be surprised. Make sure you're going to a THERAPIST and not a PSYCHIATRIST. The psych'll dope you up so fast ...
Weed is a wonderful thing, and I hope it's helping you. It's certainly better for you (mentally and physically) than the Xanax. Just hang in there, that's all any of us can do.
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
I know what anxiety is like...I barely leave my house because of it. I'm telling you what worked for me...herbs, and visualization. For a long time I controlled my mind by getting into a meditative state, envisioning my brain and the anxiety and depression as darkness engulfing it. I would use a white light as a purifier and push it out of my brain. You'd be surprised at the resistance you feel. I did this over and over until things were "clean" and then i washed it in blue light to heal. Yes, it probably sounds like a bunch of new age bullshit, but it kept my dad's leukemia in remission for 15 years. You can do anything with your mind...you just have to train it.
While I agree with your post, I'd like to interject that for some such as myself, therapy is not the way to go. I hate having my head picked, and I'm stubborn as all get out. I want to rely on myself....must be a childhood thing but I hate to be weak. And I believe that your mind is the master control to your body...a lot can be done with it, in terms of healing. However, I dont recommend telling therapists about marijuana use. Theyre not your friend...theyre your therapist...and if for any reason your medical records are subpoenaed, well, there ya go.
Seamaiden
Well-Known Member
I have a lot of questions for you, but I need to get showered up. I am STUNNED at the number and types of meds your doc has had you on. Just STUNNED.
Curious, first, what are your diagnoses? Are you prepared to reintroduce any meds if the weed doesn't help you as you'd hoped?
Curious, first, what are your diagnoses? Are you prepared to reintroduce any meds if the weed doesn't help you as you'd hoped?
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
I was diagnosed with depression and general anxiety disorder. My major problem then (and even now) is motivation. Getting myself to do anything for any reason was hard, and whenever I expressed this they'd either increase my dose or put me on a new med.
I remember the exact moment I got fed up with the pills. I was about to take them and I counted the number of pills in my hand and realized that they were not the path to better health. My current doctor said my last doctor was "irresponsible" for putting me on those meds. It's scary, as you're supposed to trust these people with your lives but I wonder sometimes ... do they even care?
If my depression and anxiety come back with a vengence (read: get to a point where I can't manage on my own), I've conceded to trying something else. But, if I have my way, I'll kiss the pills goodbye forever.
I remember the exact moment I got fed up with the pills. I was about to take them and I counted the number of pills in my hand and realized that they were not the path to better health. My current doctor said my last doctor was "irresponsible" for putting me on those meds. It's scary, as you're supposed to trust these people with your lives but I wonder sometimes ... do they even care?
If my depression and anxiety come back with a vengence (read: get to a point where I can't manage on my own), I've conceded to trying something else. But, if I have my way, I'll kiss the pills goodbye forever.
CanadianCoyote
Well-Known Member
That IS true ... there isn't one thing that's a cure-all for everyone. If there was, nobody'd be depressed anymore. It's good to try different things.
I'm not sure if therapy records count as a medical record, as therapists (once again NOT PSYCHIATRISTS) don't have a license to practice medicine. Some psychs act as therapists as well, but I mean the kind that don't have a PhD at the end of their name.
Visualization and meditation have helped me loads, it's about conditioning your mind to think in a different way. Positive thinking is ALWAYS a good thing!
I'm not sure if therapy records count as a medical record, as therapists (once again NOT PSYCHIATRISTS) don't have a license to practice medicine. Some psychs act as therapists as well, but I mean the kind that don't have a PhD at the end of their name.
Visualization and meditation have helped me loads, it's about conditioning your mind to think in a different way. Positive thinking is ALWAYS a good thing!
Stoney McFried
Well-Known Member
Hm....then if theyre not a doctor technically...are they bound by the same confidentiality agreement?
euthanatos93420
Well-Known Member
YEs, Mental health practicioners at all level are bound by confidentiality agreements
soulflyx2k
Well-Known Member
I really have only one suggestion.
Maybe you guys are already into it. But I'm just trying to help, so here ya go!
This is directed to anyone felling even remotely depressed, or curious.
The advice is to read some books, and actually practice the stuff in them.
A overview of the these books: Stuff that is absent from mainstream culture, but is vital to happiness as well as balance.
Mantak Chia
Awaken Healing Energy Through the Tao
Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy
Transforming Stress Into Vitality
Anything by Stewart Swerdlow....
-Blue Blood, True Blood: Conflict and Creation
-The True Reality of Sexuality
-Journey Into Hyperspace
Sangra Ingerman
Shamanic Journeying
Everyone just is in search of Energy...High Energy is happiness, energy leaks lead into depression. Leaks can be physical or metaphysical or psychic... These books will help to seal the leaks. We as humans do not need to search outside ourself for energy source, But when we deplete our energy... usually we have no other choice but to seek EXTERNAL ENERGY. So Either you don't know that you have a inextinguishable INTERNAL ENERGY supply, or you think it is too difficult to achieve. It really comes down to the point of... ARE YOU ACTUALLY READY TO FEEL GOOD AND HAPPY? Or do you still want to keep digging deeper. You cant know peace until you have had suffering.
Again, I can't help you. I can only help you help yourself.
=D Enjoy, Any questions, Ask!
Edit:
As far as the energy stuff goes, when looking at the Two Sexes, Practices really break down into the individual sex at first.
However, Once the energy leaks are sealed it becomes very general, and the two sexes are generally the same.
Maybe you guys are already into it. But I'm just trying to help, so here ya go!
This is directed to anyone felling even remotely depressed, or curious.
The advice is to read some books, and actually practice the stuff in them.
A overview of the these books: Stuff that is absent from mainstream culture, but is vital to happiness as well as balance.
Mantak Chia
Awaken Healing Energy Through the Tao
Healing Love Through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy
Taoist Secrets of Love: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy
Transforming Stress Into Vitality
Anything by Stewart Swerdlow....
-Blue Blood, True Blood: Conflict and Creation
-The True Reality of Sexuality
-Journey Into Hyperspace
Sangra Ingerman
Shamanic Journeying
Everyone just is in search of Energy...High Energy is happiness, energy leaks lead into depression. Leaks can be physical or metaphysical or psychic... These books will help to seal the leaks. We as humans do not need to search outside ourself for energy source, But when we deplete our energy... usually we have no other choice but to seek EXTERNAL ENERGY. So Either you don't know that you have a inextinguishable INTERNAL ENERGY supply, or you think it is too difficult to achieve. It really comes down to the point of... ARE YOU ACTUALLY READY TO FEEL GOOD AND HAPPY? Or do you still want to keep digging deeper. You cant know peace until you have had suffering.
Again, I can't help you. I can only help you help yourself.
=D Enjoy, Any questions, Ask!
Edit:
As far as the energy stuff goes, when looking at the Two Sexes, Practices really break down into the individual sex at first.
However, Once the energy leaks are sealed it becomes very general, and the two sexes are generally the same.
soulflyx2k
Well-Known Member
that font hurts my brain =|