panhead
Well-Known Member
I read all your posts & chose this one to quote because of what you wrote.
Remember one thing,you asked for advice so be honest here.
When your mother woke you why did she have to wake you up,from your comments i quoted it seems to me that you have important things to get done asap,am i correct ?
Was the arguement yesterday about things you were supposed to have done allready ?
From having raised 3 sons myself & with 1 of them living at home about the same age as you much of what you wrote hit home with me,especially when you wrote that you dont work & get woken up.
Again from my parenting experience i have an idea of why she is so pissed at you,i think much of the problem lies with you understanding that when you live in somebody elses home you live by their time clock,not yours.
When they want trash taken out it means right now & not " in a little while",same goes for room cleaning,house cleaning,dishes,yard work ect & it does not mean waiting until you feel like it.
You see adults see things differently than children or young adults,im nearly 60 years old so 20 is a child to me,anyhow when adults ask somebody who is living in their home to do something for them or for the good of the entire family the adult expects it done very soon,also most adults take it as a sign of disrespect when you blow them off saying "i will " or " wait a minute" because we know that i will means i wont today & that wait a minute means wait until i have to tell you multiple times.
Just because im a wrinkly ole fart who's patents beat him for everything he did wrong does not mean i agree with her hitting you,hitting a child is a sign of a weak person taking advantage of the situation,she is 100% in the wrong for hitting you at any time but the hitting is a sign that you should be smart enough to understand.
If your parent is only hitting you then you need to think about why,i'd bet money if your honest with yourself the violence only comes as a last resort,mainly due to her frustration at the disrepect you show her.
When you fully acknowledge that when you blow off your parent so you can send a text, or post on the internet,hang with friends,go out & have fun ect, the parent see's this as you being disrespectfull,the same goes for sleeping in,when the parent has to get up early in order to get things done that everybody in the home benifits from,then they come in to see thier non working child leisurely sleeping in it pisses them off ,especially when just the day before they argued with the child about taking care of business,now the child is still sleeping in as if nothing happened,another sure sign of disrespect.
You have to look at every situation as if the roles were reversed,simply saying "if it was my kid i'd be ok with it" is meaningless.
I have never hit my children or wife so I hate the fact that your mom hits you,unless she is hard as nails it is something that will eat her up later in life,all that aside only you have the power to change the situation,option #1 is to put your work boots on & get a job & move out,option #2 is to show your mother the respect she requires from you by doing exactly what she requires from you & do it all within 1 minute of her asking you,making her wait ,or even having to ask you to do things you know need done asap will allways be seen as disrespect by moms.
ive been working since i was 14 years old. From what youve said your relationship sounds alot like what my brother and moms was, and the only way that got better is when he moved away. if its her house and she pays the bills then theres not much you can do, i never understood what kids thought they could acomplish by talking back to there parents. even if im right in my house my dads word is still the rule and if i wanna live here i damn well better follow it!
