Lets hear some stoner jokes......

Ratty696

Ratty696

Well-Known Member
Little boy walks into the washroom, his momo was in the tub. He pointed at her crotch and he said whats that? She said thats where daddy hit me with the axe. The boy said pretty good shot he got you right in the C%$#!!
 
S

Smoke2GetHigh

Active Member
:joint:Well i got a buddy that alwase sias (blasicly) when he is high. and a few minutes ago he said shakie jan tryin to say jakie chan. haha.. we are so blazed watchin some dragon movie hahaa. Haze is some good shit!!!!!!111
:joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint::joint:We smoked this amny!!!! haha
 
email468

email468

Well-Known Member
From pothumor.com:

One day this cop pulls over a stoner for speeding. The cop gets out of his car and asks the stoner for his license.

"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license and the next day you ask me to show it.''
===
How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb? - Two: One to hold the bulb against the socket, and the other to smoke up until the room starts spinning.
===
What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? - Mr. President.
===
What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt? - A pot hole!
===
what is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign? - the drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
===
and my favorite:
A stoner called the fire department and said, "Come quick my house is on fire!" The Fireman asked "How do we get there?" The stoner says "DUH, in a big red truck!"
 
1puff2puff3puff

1puff2puff3puff

Well-Known Member
A mother and father are taking a shower and the son walks in and says " can i come in?" they say, yes, and he comes in. As they are bathe the young son looks around interested and questionin everything, finally he asks "daddy, whats that", pointing to his penis. His father looks down and says, ahhh thats my snake. Then the young boy looks at his mother pointing to her vagina and says "mommy whats that". The mother says ahhhh my grass. Later that night the parents were in bed and the son knocks on the door and asks "can I get in?". The parents look at each other and say "yes". Later that night the boy wakes up to the bed rocking, he looks under the cover and shouts "mommy" wake up we have an emergency there is a snake in your grass.

Long and corny!!!
 
nothingnewtome

nothingnewtome

Active Member
One day george bush is out for a jog by himself, and he comes along this bridge and a car comes speeding by and almost hits him so he dives over into the river. Well later on the river bank three kids were fishing and they caught him and pulled him to sure and he gets up.

"Wow, how can ever repay you kids?" asked george.
The first kid replys, " I want a new bike."
"Well alright, i get you a 18 speed huffy. What about you?"
The second kid sais, "I want a dirt bike!"
'Well alright then youll get a new bike alright. Now what about you?"
The third kid sais, "I want a new elctric wheelchair with a cd player and a bag of pot."
Bush stands there pondering his request and asks, " Why do you need a wheelchair?"
"Because my dads gonna beet my as for saving you from drowning."
 
master mioda

master mioda

Active Member
There is commission on mental hospital. They ask first mental who keep one stone on the right hand hitting his head - what are you doing? psyho reply i am getting high. They ask second mental who keep stones on the both hands - what are you doing? mental reply i am getting strong high. Commission see the third guy sitting next to bunch of stones - asking him what are you doing here? psycho reply - I am a dealer!
 
C

Cade

Active Member
one time my mates and i were having a get-together and we were baked. i had to make the coffee andi walked out of the kitchen and asked my mate shaunna, "do you want some shaunna, coffee?"

:L
 
redacid25

redacid25

Active Member
some stoned dude walks into the 7-11. He goes up to the man behind the counter and says "got any weed?" He says "no!" So the stoner leaves. The stoner comes back and asks the guy behind the counter "Hey you got any weed?" The man says "No I told you yesterday, we don't sell weed here." So the Stoner leaves again. The stoner walks in the next day and says "Got any weed?" The clerk behind the counter says, "Look you fuckin burnout we don't sell weed here, if you come in here again, I'm goin to nail your fuckin teeth to the floor!!!" So the stoner leaves. He comes in the next day. "You got any nails?" "No", the clerk replies. The stoner looks at him in the eyes and says, "You got any weed?"
 
T

tranquility

Active Member
a cop pulls a stoner over and says "sir, your eyes are glazzed, have you been smoking weed?" stoner replies and says" no sir.....officer your eyes are glazed have you been eating donuts?"
 
S

stoner76

Member
There were 3 men and they all died in a car crash and went to hell. When they got there the devil asked them all in turn a question. To he first he said “what was your biggest sin on earth?” and the man replied “Oh man I just love alchol and being drunk man” so the devil showed the man to a room full of alchol of every type and description and he put the man inside and said “see you in 100 years” and locked the door. To the second man he asked the same question and the man replied “oh man I just love to have sex with the ladies, I was really unfaithful to my wife man”. So the devil took the man and showed him to a room full of hundreds upon thousands of georgeous and beautiful naked women. The man ran inside and the devil said “see you in 100 years” and locked the door. The third man’s answer to the question was “oh man I just LOVE weed! Im high all the time man and I can’t live without it!”. The devil showed the man to a room packed with the most amazing grade-A bud you’ve ever seen, stacked to the roof! The man went inside and the devil locked the door after saying “see you in 100 years”. 100 years later the devil came by to let the three men out. He opened the door to the first man’s room and found the man collapsed on the ground, passed out with empty bottles laying around him and puke all over him. He was a mess.
The devil opened the 2nd man’s door and the man came running out of the room and cried “IM GAY! IM GAY!”. Finally the devil came to the third man’s room and opened the door. Sitting in the middle of all the bud, in the exact same position the devil had left him in was the man. He looked up at the devil and with a single tear rolling down his cheek he asked ; “hey man, got a light?”​
 
The*Mad*Hatter

The*Mad*Hatter

Well-Known Member
oh oh i got one.........a guy walks.....no no wait....a kid is kicking a ball around.......wait no thats not it........humm......oh yeah i got it.....their was these 3 dudes!......no........

well i dont remember but the guy at the end, end's up saying IT WAS THE DOG!!!!

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GOT ME ROLLING!!!!!!


damn this is fire weed
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top