Lets Hear Some JOKES!

clint308

clint308

Well-Known Member
A woman walks into a Kalgoorlie accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
>>>
>>> The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions."
>>>
>>> He gets her name, address etc. And then asks,"What's your occupation?"
>>>
>>> "I'm a prostitute," she says.
>>>
>>> The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "Let's try to re phrase that."
>>>
>>> The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl". "No, that still won't work. Try again."
>>>
>>> They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite poultry farmer."
>>>
>>> The accountant asks, "What does poultry farming have to do with being a prostitute?"
>>>
>>> "Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year."
>>>
>>> "Poultry Farmer it is."
 
KushLyle

KushLyle

Member
This is another Farm Joke.

A Man was driving late at night in the country when suddenly he heard a squeal and felt that he ran over something.
He stopped the car, looked under the car and saw a rooster already dead.
Oh, I killed the poor fellow the driver said.
He looked around and saw a small house just near the road.
He took the dead rooster and knocked on the door.
An old man in his jumpers opened the door and said: What is it?
Driver: Is this your rooster?
Old man: Yes
Driver: I accidentally ran over it and would like to replace it (politely smiling)
Old man: Oh okay, the hens are at the back! :-P
 
clint308

clint308

Well-Known Member


THE POWER OF SHRIMP

A very cute Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man
wearing a turban, who was eating shrimp.

Every time he ate one, he definitely spat the tail in her direction,
requiring her to dodge or deflect it.

He finished the box of shrimp and threw it out the window.

Seeing this, she'd had enough of his rudeness, lack of manners, and his
total disdain of women. She got up and pulled the train's Emergency Cord.

The Muslim looked at her and said, "You'll get fined $250 for doing that,
you stupid female, worthless Infidel, Catholic bitch."

She smiled and said to him, "When I cry rape and they smell your fingers,
you'll get 10 years in prison, you towel-headed camel-fucker.



__._,_.___




​
 
Smiffy2k9

Smiffy2k9

Well-Known Member
Whats green and hides in a tree.?

A snooker table.

Whats grey and if it fell out of a tree would definitly kill you.?

A car park
 
clint308

clint308

Well-Known Member
Smiffy2k9 said:
Whats green and hides in a tree.?

A snooker table.

Whats grey and if it fell out of a tree would definitly kill you.?

A car park
Click to expand...
OOOOhhhh we goin there are we ?

Why did the elephant paint it's toe nails red ?
To hide in the apple tree's

What's yellow , lives in tree's and is very dangerous ?
A canary with a machine gun

What does barbie use as a tampon ?
A tic tac

What does an elephant use as a tampon ?
A sheep

How do New Zealanders find sheep in long grass ?
Fantastic

What's green and smells like pork ?
Kermit's finger

What's yellow and smells like bananas ?
Monkey vomit

What's pink and hairy and sit's on a wall ?
Humpty cunt

What did the tie say to the hat ?
go ahead i'll hang around awhile

Mummy Mummy what happened to the dog food fido couldn't eat ?
Shut up and eat your meatloaf !

How do you make a flying fox ?
Hit it with a truck

What's blue and sit's in the bottom of a pool ?
Ababy with slashed floaties

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic ?
Iceberg
 
DJapeshit

DJapeshit

Active Member
:shock:



I clicked on this thread in hopes of a few chuckles. Maybe a knock knock joke or two.....

Ill see myself out
 
Scroga

Scroga

Well-Known Member
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they beat the room for being black
 
tytheguy111

tytheguy111

Well-Known Member
RACIST JOKE ALERT RACIST JOKE ALERT IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE OFFENDED PLEASE DON'T READ THIS SHIT







How do you keep a niger out of your back yard?????

Hang one in your front yard
 
clint308

clint308

Well-Known Member
CHUCKLE FOR THE DAY...


ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.

She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused.

When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing,

She complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court.

The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)

What he had to say for himself.

The man replied,

'Well your Honor, it was like this:

When the lady got on the bus,

I couldn't help but notice her condition.

She sat down under a sign that said,

'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,

'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said,

'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time

And sat under a sign that said,

'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'

... I just lost it.'

'CASE DISMISSED!!'

Now keep that smile on your face and pass it on to someone else!!
 
Scroga

Scroga

Well-Known Member
all right ill risk it...

Why do gorrilas look so sad?

cos they know, in a million years,theyre gonna evolve into black cuntz..


disclaimer-im not really racist lol
 
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