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Kids say the darndest things...

Discussion in 'Toke N Talk' started by neosapien, Jan 31, 2017.

    v.s one

    v.s one Well-Known Member

    A while back me and my wife and daughter were at the doctor. We're sitting in the room waiting for the doc. Me and my wife start talking about what we're getting my son for his B day. Well my daughters starts getting jealous, and we're trying to teach her it's not good. I start teasing her saying "you got jelly in your belly". She gets mad and looks at me and says" you have jelly in your butt". We were rollling after that . The nurse even came in asked if we're having a good time.

    whitebb2727 Well-Known Member

    This was back when we went on vacation. The kids took their tablets. One of them gets stepped on and the screen gets extremely cracked.

    Not only did the kids not tell me they tried to get one over on me.

    I mention it going down the road and without missing a beat my middle one says "its not cracked. Its that app that makes it looked cracked." He then proceeds to show me one of the other tablets with the cracked screen app running.

    What could I do. Lying makes me mad. On the other hand it was such a good try I had to laugh.
    dangledo, Possum1, Singlemalt and 8 others like this.

    giglewigle Well-Known Member

    lol why do i always picture evryone one here youngbyoure all old as fuck lol
    v.s one likes this.
    v.s one

    v.s one Well-Known Member

    My daughter has been misbehaving lately. Yelling at her mom kicking and punching her brothers. "So I told my wife she needs a spanking." My wife says fine I will do it. My wife tells her to clean up and my daughter yells I AM. My wife goes come here I'm going to spank you. My daughter runs away and tells her your not suppose to hit girls. We start laughing .
    Venus55, dangledo, neosapien and 3 others like this.

    Possum1 Well-Known Member

    Literally yesterday. Could tell daughter was pooping, pulled top of diaper away to see if she got it out, poop on finger. 1/4 inch from coming out top. Get her and put 2 paper towels down as I know it's squishing out when I lay her down (#experience) Get diaper off and cleaning up, big grunt, poops again, catch most with baby wipe. Coughs twice, poop on arm up to my elbow.
    This morning walking into school after hitting deer. Daughter tells wife "We've had quite a morning"! Cheesy I know, but where do they learn this stuff.
    Runs to class in middle of announcements and yells "We had a deer crash!"
    Must be doing something right, as her main worry this morning was I need to take him home and hang him up so we can eat it.
    jerryb73, v.s one, neosapien and 5 others like this.

    Possum1 Well-Known Member

    Didn't want to carry daughter out to the car this morning. Told her she's a big girl and can walk herself. After thinking for a second she looks at me and says in all seriousness, "You'll pay for this."
    I might be a little scared.

    whatscooking New Member

    A buddy and his wife were telling me about a time when their very young son just happened to pop up along beside the bed as they were hot and heavy into sex. The little boy popped up and said, it will be ok mommy.
    dangledo, neosapien, Possum1 and 2 others like this.
    The Outdoorsman

    The Outdoorsman Well-Known Member

    Ok so I was maybe 6yo chasing my brother. stopped mid sprint. pulled down my pants, took a crap pulled them back up and kept running. Dad said it was one of the funniest things hes seen

    Singlemalt Well-Known Member

    A dish best served cold. You are doomed

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