If you love something set it free.....what if?

After 20+ years, the person I set free, not by choice (TDY) has come back into my life. For 6 years she was the measuring stick upon which every woman to enter my life was measured. It wasnt right and it wasnt fair, I know i let a few keepers slip through.
I asked the powers that be to let me have her once again and I would drop everything and anyone to be with her again. I remember sitting on the beach and looking at the orange moon over the water and wishing for one more chance.

I have been texting her for a week now and the first phone call went to voicemail as she was nervous, too nervous to answer, I was pretty baked with my dog when i called, out in the woods. She thanked me for leaving a voicemail so she could hear my voice again. We split in the early 90's before cellphones or the internet.

i have been happily married to my best friend for 12 years and that will not change. I am not a lucky guy, I am the guy that gets shit on almost all the time, well before 30ish that was me.
I have it made with my wife, she is the best thing to happen to me in along time and I will not fuck that up.

I am going into this new rekindled friendship, hoping for that, a friendship and nothing more.


People at work noticed me smiling more, being nice to the underlings, etc.....

To all the people out there that have uttered the phrase, If you love something set it free, and if it comes back to you its your to keep....hoping against hope to have that entity one more time, well....mine came back and I am scared knowing how she made me feel before.

But i also understand we are older, she has kids, i know she was married dont know if she is know or not.

she was a huge part of my life and i am hoping for the best.

before we got married we took a test to see out strengths and weakness in faith, spirituality and religion and we rocked out a 98%. The pastor looked at it and said there are 2% of the world out there made for you, take the chance and stick with each other, laughing as 98% rocks. I am thinking ya I know the 2%.

Thoughts...comments???

Hey, OP. I think that you need to be honest with yourself, first and foremost. If you are in your 40s or beyond you should probably know that this situation is fraught with potential disaster. You speak of not wanting to fuck things up with your wife, but it sounds like you still have very strong feelings for this old flame, and how compatible you two are, and that she was the yardstick, and the ONE, etc.. I just saying that when an old friend of mine comes back into my life, it doesn't make me whistle and smile and be kind to all creatures. If this old flame gives you even a microscopic opening, it seems you may jump all over it. You would be risking the very real relationship you have with your wife for your memory of a woman who possibly isn't the same person you fell in love with way back when. Knowing what I know now, I would probably leave that relationship in the past, and keep the great memories. Besides, it's an interesting part of life to yearn after some things we just can't have...

tyler.durden said:

Hey, OP. I think that you need to be honest with yourself, first and foremost. If you are in your 40s or beyond you should probably know that this situation is fraught with potential disaster. You speak of not wanting to fuck things up with your wife, but it sounds like you still have very strong feelings for this old flame, and how compatible you two are, and that she was the yardstick, and the ONE, etc.. I just saying that when an old friend of mine comes back into my life, it doesn't make me whistle and smile and be kind to all creatures. If this old flame gives you even a microscopic opening, it seems you may jump all over it. You would be risking the very real relationship you have with your wife for your memory of a woman who possibly isn't the same person you fell in love with way back when. Knowing what I know now, I would probably leave that relationship in the past, and keep the great memories. Besides, it's an interesting part of life to yearn after some things we just can't have...

Click to expand...

Excellently put. Nothing to add except that this is Pandora's box. Leave it alone. Being friends with her is impossible.

jesus of Cannabis said:

A

Thoughts...comments???

Click to expand...

Let the past stay in the past and avoid that chick like the plague, less you fuck up your marriage / life.

Best of luck, regardless.

Hookabelly said:

Excellently put. Nothing to add except that this is Pandora's box. Leave it alone. Being friends with her is impossible.

Click to expand...

How did you know her name is Pandora?





OP - Tyler and Hookabelly are right, Unobtainium.

The mighty Zepp, said it best, Ill just keep on rolling along with the grace from the Lord above.
But thanks for the thoughts, I am really surprised they were good comments and not one butthead...yet

jesus of Cannabis said:

The mighty Zepp, said it best, Ill just keep on rolling along with the grace from the Lord above.
But thanks for the thoughts, I am really surprised they were good comments and not one butthead...yet

Click to expand...

Robert is correct: "Time I was on my way… Thanks to you I'm much obliged. Such a pleasant stay. But now it's time for me to go, the autumn moon lights my way…


NOW I SMELL THE RAIN AND WITH IT PAIN AND IT'S HEADED MY WAY….


Ramble on Jesus of C. FARRR on down the line. put distance between you and certain disaster my friend.

its been a year, we have talked once more, twice total. made plans for a lunch near her city but i am too chicken, it was a bitch leaving her the first time i dont think i could do it twice.
but we play words with friends everyday, pass pleasantries back and forth....we both quietly know its best for both relationships to stay friends.

I smell a divorce in your future, when she picks up that phone..but I think you already know that.

Run.

jesus of Cannabis said:

its been a year, we have talked once more, twice total. made plans for a lunch near her city but i am too chicken, it was a bitch leaving her the first time i dont think i could do it twice.
but we play words with friends everyday, pass pleasantries back and forth....we both quietly know its best for both relationships to stay friends.

Click to expand...

I'd leave it. And delete her from WWF.

How can you know that she knows it's best to stay friends if it's quiet?

Is Wwf with this woman worth your time? Not the time playing, but is it worth the time explaining to your wife when she inevitably picks up the phone?

What a previous commenter posted about leaving the relationship to your fond memories has a lot of merit. I think what you gain from the relationship with her now is already a version of that. You don't really need to be in touch with her to "pine" after her.