How to Become a Registered Minister

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
If you want to become a Registered Minister, for Free, Online, here is a site:
http://themonastery.org/

The Universal Life Church was started before the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, which provides protection to religions. There were a lot of cases with Native Americans, and Psychedelic Churches from the 60s, and a few people sacrificing animals and stuff. The RRFA protects Religious practices.

The ULC was started by someone who could not read, so when someone would come to him and say "This book says God says" he was like "I can't read". So he started his own religion that accepts everyone and every God. This is a real protected religion.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Universal_Life_Church

Once you are a registered minister, you are allowed to practice religious ceremonies freely and start a ministry. You can also marry people in your state (even Gay people if it is legal in your state), and I am pretty sure other states as well, but laws vary state to state.

With Christianity or Islam you would have to go through years of schooling to get legally registered like this, but the Philosophy of the ULC is that Christians say "God ordained Humans over the animals" so every human is ordained. They just have to register to be in the ULC for it to be recognized.

I have been a Minister with the Universal Life Church for 5 years now, and I have been doing various religious studies on various religions. Here is my Certification that shows I am a Minister, just so you have an example.
 

tip top toker

Well-Known Member
It's pretty much the same as an online degree. You might have a piece of paper claiming you are X but you're still an utterly worthless piece of shit.

Basically what this is is a "solution" for people who are too fucking retarded to do something properly.
 

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
The Ministry I am starting will be focused on Hinduism and Kemetism (Planetary, Art, Science & Nature Worship) but all religions will be accepted. We will be teaching Chemistry in the form of Alchemy, because associating plants and substances will Planets allows for more imaginative inventive mixing. We will be inventing smells and flavors (Esters and Peptides) that will be used in Perfume and Vaporizers. Esters and Peptides are what make up the smell and flavor world. We will also teach Botany in the form of Alchemy because associating Plants with Planets helps categorize things for memory, and Mnemonics can never hurt when learning, and tons of Plants are already in myths.

Right now the group is focused on Organic Chemistry so smells and flavors can be invented, but next year when I actually show these process on video so everyone can start doing them, I will also release a book about Botany, Chemistry, Planetary Holidays, Planetary Farming, etc.

If you would like to join the Facebook group, here is the link, but we will have a temple eventually. And when the book is out, the book itself will be a guide for other people to start Polytheistic temples.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesignerSmells/
 

theexpress

Well-Known Member
The Ministry I am starting will be focused on Hinduism and Kemetism (Planetary, Art, Science & Nature Worship) but all religions will be accepted. We will be teaching Chemistry in the form of Alchemy, because associating plants and substances will Planets allows for more imaginative inventive mixing. We will be inventing smells and flavors (Esters and Peptides) that will be used in Perfume and Vaporizers. Esters and Peptides are what make up the smell and flavor world. We will also teach Botany in the form of Alchemy because associating Plants with Planets helps categorize things for memory, and Mnemonics can never hurt when learning, and tons of Plants are already in myths.

Right now the group is focused on Organic Chemistry so smells and flavors can be invented, but next year when I actually show these process on video so everyone can start doing them, I will also release a book about Botany, Chemistry, Planetary Holidays, Planetary Farming, etc.

If you would like to join the Facebook group, here is the link, but we will have a temple eventually. And when the book is out, the book itself will be a guide for other people to start Polytheistic temples.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/DesignerSmells/
 

abe supercro

Well-Known Member
Anyone else come into contact with dying people? No, well you will eventually.

I like the idea of having a ministerial license in order to best be prepared to administer prayers for someone's last-rights. If the person that is dying is conscious, depending on their background, they may different expectations from the minister. Have you ever considered this possibility Fin?
 

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
Anyone else come into contact with dying people? No, well you will eventually.

I like the idea of having a ministerial license in order to best be prepared to administer prayers for someone's last-rights. If the person that is dying is conscious, depending on their background, they may different expectations from the minister. Have you ever considered this possibility Fin?
Yeah, I actually planned on later introducing this, but I don't see how it could hurt to tell everyone. I think when people die, they should be Cremated. Then we should use their ashes in growing plants and in the Cornerstones of Temples and other buildings.
 

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
Since the Temple will be partially dedicated to Hindu Gods, and Shiva will be one of our Gods. We will be also Venerating Fire as a God since we use Fire to burn the Marijuana. And because of this Soma will also be a God. We will also help people to find places to Cremate their loved ones, and rights will be done as is appropriate for the Goddess Kali (Death).


Below are some Hymns to the Hindu Fire God, Agni, as well as a short thing about him.


Agni is an immortal who has taken up his abode with mortals as their guest. He is the domestic priest who rises before the dawn, and who concentrates in his own person and exercises in a higher sense all the various sacrificial offices which the Indian ritual assigns to a number of different human functionaries. He is a sage, the divinest among the sages, immediately acquainted with all the forms of worship; the wise director, the successful accomplisher, and the protector of all ceremonies, who enables men to serve the gods in a correct and acceptable manner in cases where they could not do this with their own unaided skill. He is a swift messenger, moving between heaven and earth, commissioned both by gods and men to maintain their mutual communication, to announce to the immortals the hymns, and to convey to them the oblations of their worshippers; or to bring them (the immortals) down from the sky to the place of sacrifice. He accompanies the gods when they visit the earth, and shares in the reverence and adoration which they receive. He makes the oblations fragrant; without him the gods experience no satisfaction.

Agni is the lord, protector, king of men. He is the lord of the house, dwelling in every abode. He is a guest in every home; he despises no man, he lives in every family. He is therefore considered as a mediator between gods and men, and as a witness of their actions; hence to the present day he is worshipped, and his blessing sought on all solemn occasions, as at marriage, death, etc. In these old hymns Agni is spoken of as dwelling in the two pieces of wood which being rubbed together produce fire; and it is noticed as a remarkable thing that a living being should spring out of dry (dead) wood. Strange to say, says the poet, the child, as soon as born, begins with unnatural voracity to consume his parents. Wonderful is his growth, seeing that he is born of a mother who cannot nourish him; but he is nourished by the oblations of clarified butter which are poured into his mouth, and which he consumes.

The worshippers of Agni prosper, are wealthy, and live long. He watches with a thousand eyes over the man who brings him food, and nourishes him with oblations. No mortal enemy can by any wondrous power gain the mastery over him who sacrifices to this god. He also confers and is the guardian of immortality. In a funeral hymn, Agni is asked to warm with his heat the unborn (immortal) part of the deceased, and in his auspicious form to carry it to the world of the righteous. He carries men across calamities, as a ship over the sea. He commands all the riches in earth and heaven; hence he is invoked for riches, food, deliverance, and in fact all temporal good. He is also prayed to as the forgiver of sins that may have been committed through folly. All gods are said to be comprehended in him; he surrounds them as the circumference of a wheel does the spokes.

"Bright, seven-rayed god, how manifold thy shapes
Revealed to us thy votaries: now we see thee
With body all of gold; and radiant hair
Flaming from three terrific heads, and mouths,
Whose burning jaws and teeth devour all things.
Now with a thousand glowing horns, and now
Flashing thy lustre from a thousand eyes,
Thou’rt borne towards us in a golden chariot,
Impelled by winds, and drawn by ruddy steeds,
Marking thy car's destructive course with blackness."

"Great Agni, though thine essence be but one,
Thy forms are three; as fire thou blazest here,
As lightning flashest in the atmosphere,
In heaven thou flamest as the golden sun

"It was in heaven thou hadst thy primal birth;
By art of sages skilled in sacred lore
Thou wast drawn down to human hearths of yore,
And thou abid’st a denizen of earth.

"Sprung from the mystic pair, * by priestly hands
In wedlock joined, forth flashes Agni bright;
But, oh! ye heavens and earth, I tell you right,
The unnatural child devours the parent brands.

"But Agni is a god; we must not deem
That he can err, or dare to comprehend
His acts, which far our reason's grasp transcend;
He best can judge what deeds a god beseem.

"And yet this orphaned god himself survives:
Although his hapless mother soon expires,
And cannot nurse the babe as babe requires,
Great Agni, wondrous infant, grows and thrives.

"Smoke-bannered Agni, god with crackling voice
And flaming hair, when thou dost pierce the gloom
At early dawn, and all the world illume,
Both heaven and earth and gods and men rejoice.

"In every home thou art a welcome guest,
The household tutelary lord, a son,
A father, mother, brother, all in one,
A friend by whom thy faithful friends are blest.

"A swift-winged messenger, thou tallest down
from heaven to crowd our hearths the race divine,
To taste our food, our hymns to hear, benign,
And all our fondest aspirations crown.

"Thou, Agni, art our priest: divinely wise,
In holy science versed, thy skill detects
The faults that mar our rites, mistakes corrects,
And all our acts completes and sanctifies.

"Thou art the cord that stretches to the skies,
The bridge that scans the chasm, profound and vast,
Dividing earth from heaven, o’er which at last
The good shall safely pass to Paradise.

"But when, great god, thine awful anger glows,
And thou revealest thy destroying force,
All creatures flee before thy furious course,
As hosts are chased by overpowering foes.

"Thou levellest all thou touchest; forests vast
Thou shear’st, like beards which barber's razor shaves.
Thy wind-driven flames roar loud as ocean's waves,
And all thy track is black when thou hast past.

"But thou, great Agni, dost not always wear
That direful form; thou rather lov’st to shine
Upon our hearths, with milder flame benign,
And cheer the homes where thou art nursed with care.

"Yes! thou delightest all those men to bless
Who toil unwearied to supply the food
Which thou so lovest—logs of well-dried wood,
And heaps of butter bring, thy favourite mess.

"Though I no cow possess, and have no store
Of butter, nor an axe fresh wood to cleave,
Thou, gracious god, wilt my poor gift receive:
These few dry sticks I bring—I have no more.

"Preserve us, lord; thy faithful servants save
From all the ills by which our bliss is marred;
Tower like an iron wall our homes to guard,
And all the boons bestow our hearts can crave.
"And when away our brief existence wanes,
When we at length our earthly homes must quit,
And our freed souls to worlds unknown shall flit,
Do thou deal gently with our cold remains.
"And then, thy gracious form assuming, guide
Our unborn part across the dark abyss
Aloft to realms serene of light and bliss,
Where righteous men among the gods abide."

Agni's Names
Vahni, "He who receives the hom, or burnt sacrifice."
Vītihotra, "He who sanctifies the worshipper."
Dhananjaya, "He who conquers (destroys) riches."
Jivalana, "He who burns."
Dhūmketu, "He whose sign is smoke."
Chhāgaratha, "He who rides on a ram."
Saptajihva, "He who has seven tongues."
 

theexpress

Well-Known Member
Since the Temple will be partially dedicated to Hindu Gods, and Shiva will be one of our Gods. We will be also Venerating Fire as a God since we use Fire to burn the Marijuana. And because of this Soma will also be a God. We will also help people to find places to Cremate their loved ones, and rights will be done as is appropriate for the Goddess Kali (Death).


Below are some Hymns to the Hindu Fire God, Agni, as well as a short thing about him.


Agni is an immortal who has taken up his abode with mortals as their guest. He is the domestic priest who rises before the dawn, and who concentrates in his own person and exercises in a higher sense all the various sacrificial offices which the Indian ritual assigns to a number of different human functionaries. He is a sage, the divinest among the sages, immediately acquainted with all the forms of worship; the wise director, the successful accomplisher, and the protector of all ceremonies, who enables men to serve the gods in a correct and acceptable manner in cases where they could not do this with their own unaided skill. He is a swift messenger, moving between heaven and earth, commissioned both by gods and men to maintain their mutual communication, to announce to the immortals the hymns, and to convey to them the oblations of their worshippers; or to bring them (the immortals) down from the sky to the place of sacrifice. He accompanies the gods when they visit the earth, and shares in the reverence and adoration which they receive. He makes the oblations fragrant; without him the gods experience no satisfaction.

Agni is the lord, protector, king of men. He is the lord of the house, dwelling in every abode. He is a guest in every home; he despises no man, he lives in every family. He is therefore considered as a mediator between gods and men, and as a witness of their actions; hence to the present day he is worshipped, and his blessing sought on all solemn occasions, as at marriage, death, etc. In these old hymns Agni is spoken of as dwelling in the two pieces of wood which being rubbed together produce fire; and it is noticed as a remarkable thing that a living being should spring out of dry (dead) wood. Strange to say, says the poet, the child, as soon as born, begins with unnatural voracity to consume his parents. Wonderful is his growth, seeing that he is born of a mother who cannot nourish him; but he is nourished by the oblations of clarified butter which are poured into his mouth, and which he consumes.

The worshippers of Agni prosper, are wealthy, and live long. He watches with a thousand eyes over the man who brings him food, and nourishes him with oblations. No mortal enemy can by any wondrous power gain the mastery over him who sacrifices to this god. He also confers and is the guardian of immortality. In a funeral hymn, Agni is asked to warm with his heat the unborn (immortal) part of the deceased, and in his auspicious form to carry it to the world of the righteous. He carries men across calamities, as a ship over the sea. He commands all the riches in earth and heaven; hence he is invoked for riches, food, deliverance, and in fact all temporal good. He is also prayed to as the forgiver of sins that may have been committed through folly. All gods are said to be comprehended in him; he surrounds them as the circumference of a wheel does the spokes.

"Bright, seven-rayed god, how manifold thy shapes
Revealed to us thy votaries: now we see thee
With body all of gold; and radiant hair
Flaming from three terrific heads, and mouths,
Whose burning jaws and teeth devour all things.
Now with a thousand glowing horns, and now
Flashing thy lustre from a thousand eyes,
Thou’rt borne towards us in a golden chariot,
Impelled by winds, and drawn by ruddy steeds,
Marking thy car's destructive course with blackness."

"Great Agni, though thine essence be but one,
Thy forms are three; as fire thou blazest here,
As lightning flashest in the atmosphere,
In heaven thou flamest as the golden sun

"It was in heaven thou hadst thy primal birth;
By art of sages skilled in sacred lore
Thou wast drawn down to human hearths of yore,
And thou abid’st a denizen of earth.

"Sprung from the mystic pair, * by priestly hands
In wedlock joined, forth flashes Agni bright;
But, oh! ye heavens and earth, I tell you right,
The unnatural child devours the parent brands.

"But Agni is a god; we must not deem
That he can err, or dare to comprehend
His acts, which far our reason's grasp transcend;
He best can judge what deeds a god beseem.

"And yet this orphaned god himself survives:
Although his hapless mother soon expires,
And cannot nurse the babe as babe requires,
Great Agni, wondrous infant, grows and thrives.

"Smoke-bannered Agni, god with crackling voice
And flaming hair, when thou dost pierce the gloom
At early dawn, and all the world illume,
Both heaven and earth and gods and men rejoice.

"In every home thou art a welcome guest,
The household tutelary lord, a son,
A father, mother, brother, all in one,
A friend by whom thy faithful friends are blest.

"A swift-winged messenger, thou tallest down
from heaven to crowd our hearths the race divine,
To taste our food, our hymns to hear, benign,
And all our fondest aspirations crown.

"Thou, Agni, art our priest: divinely wise,
In holy science versed, thy skill detects
The faults that mar our rites, mistakes corrects,
And all our acts completes and sanctifies.

"Thou art the cord that stretches to the skies,
The bridge that scans the chasm, profound and vast,
Dividing earth from heaven, o’er which at last
The good shall safely pass to Paradise.

"But when, great god, thine awful anger glows,
And thou revealest thy destroying force,
All creatures flee before thy furious course,
As hosts are chased by overpowering foes.

"Thou levellest all thou touchest; forests vast
Thou shear’st, like beards which barber's razor shaves.
Thy wind-driven flames roar loud as ocean's waves,
And all thy track is black when thou hast past.

"But thou, great Agni, dost not always wear
That direful form; thou rather lov’st to shine
Upon our hearths, with milder flame benign,
And cheer the homes where thou art nursed with care.

"Yes! thou delightest all those men to bless
Who toil unwearied to supply the food
Which thou so lovest—logs of well-dried wood,
And heaps of butter bring, thy favourite mess.

"Though I no cow possess, and have no store
Of butter, nor an axe fresh wood to cleave,
Thou, gracious god, wilt my poor gift receive:
These few dry sticks I bring—I have no more.

"Preserve us, lord; thy faithful servants save
From all the ills by which our bliss is marred;
Tower like an iron wall our homes to guard,
And all the boons bestow our hearts can crave.
"And when away our brief existence wanes,
When we at length our earthly homes must quit,
And our freed souls to worlds unknown shall flit,
Do thou deal gently with our cold remains.
"And then, thy gracious form assuming, guide
Our unborn part across the dark abyss
Aloft to realms serene of light and bliss,
Where righteous men among the gods abide."

Agni's Names
Vahni, "He who receives the hom, or burnt sacrifice."
Vītihotra, "He who sanctifies the worshipper."
Dhananjaya, "He who conquers (destroys) riches."
Jivalana, "He who burns."
Dhūmketu, "He whose sign is smoke."
Chhāgaratha, "He who rides on a ram."
Saptajihva, "He who has seven tongues."
 

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
We will be using any person who dies ashes for good purpose. My own brother died, and I have used a small bit of his ashes to grow a plant that I then bred to create seeds, and another small portion of his ashes is buried in the soil of an Apple tree.

Eventually I plan on using his Ashes in the Cornerstone of a Temple. In ancient Churches their are Priests and Knights buried under the building, and we will allow people to do things like that in any building or seeding project or time capsule or anything we do.
 

theexpress

Well-Known Member
We will be using any person who dies ashes for good purpose. My own brother died, and I have used a small bit of his ashes to grow a plant that I then bred to create seeds, and another small portion of his ashes is buried in the soil of an Apple tree.

Eventually I plan on using his Ashes in the Cornerstone of a Temple. In ancient Churches their are Priests and Knights buried under the building, and we will allow people to do things like that in any building or seeding project or time capsule or anything we do.
 

Finshaggy

Well-Known Member
Holy Trinities & The Storm Gods They Are Always Attached to



The Ancient Jewish people had multiple Gods, not just one God. And their Storm God was known as Hadad.

Christians claim that the word Ba'al in the Bible is a reference to the Devil, but Ba'al was the ancient Semitic word for "Lord". They did not say Lord, they said Ba'al. But when another tribe says it, the people in the Bible claim that their Lord is Satan. And Satan is not Lucifer, Satan is just Hebrew word for Adversary. So Ba'al is God when you are Christian and he is Satan if you are a Christians enemy, according to the Bible.

But, if you look in to the Culture that came before Jesus, you will see the storm God Hadad and earlier Adad. He was called Ba'al only when people wanted to call him Lord, because that was the word for Lord. Hadad is even called "The Lord of Heaven".

I did not mention the Aztec and Mayan Gods for no reason, Tlaloc and the other Gods are the same as Hadad and Adad. Also similar to Zeus and Thor. Usually they are part of the Holy Trinity, no matter what region of the world it is.

Also as mentioned before Native Americans related their Lightning with the Axe, and the Norse related their Lightning with the Axe. This symbolism is known as the Labrys. It is also the tool that Zeus/Jupiter used to call on lightning. When Christianity spread it was very easy for them to make everyone stop worshiping axes and give them crosses. At least easier than telling them to get a whole new Faith. So when people "Wield a Cross" and claim it Holds power, this comes from the Labrys. Yes it is a symbol of Jesus death, but when someone claims it has the power of the sky God, this is a Labrys. No different than if someone were to say Thor was helping them swing their axe.

The word "Symbol" is related to the word "Symmetry". Symmetry means something is the same on both sides, like a Cross or a Butterfly. Symbol means that they are different, but they mean the same on the inside. For example, Christians claimed the symbol of the Lion and the Lambs, but they are all Humans.

The number 3 shows up again and again in Religions. The Trinity is a very popular concept, and throughout history people have used the "Trefoil" to show the trinity, you can even find the symbol on Churches today. It is a symbol that represents the Holy Trinity. The Triquetra can also be found throughout most religions, and shows the same trinity.

Apep was the direct opponent of Ma'at, who is the Goddess of Light, Truth, Balance and Justice. She is represented by the Scale (for weighing). Ma'at can be found today in the word "Math" and the = sign is pretty much her reincarnation in our culture. Both sides of the equation must be balanced. The direct enemy of the God of Light and Balance is the Lightning/Storm/Mountain God. He asks for death by sin, while Ma'at simply asks for moral repayment for evil deeds.

Apep was always depicted as some kind of Serpent, either a Dragon or Snake or some other scaled creature.

Since Ra was the Sun, in the sky, he was also closely associated with light, but Ra is the force behind the light he is not the light itself. So in modern terms, Ra is something like "Atomic Energy" or even "Kinetic Energy". Apep was also an Enemy of Ra, and the Ancient Egyptian said that every day when the Sun (Ra) when down for the night, he was actually going in to the underworld and doing battle with Apep. So every morning when the Sun came up, the Egyptians greeted it as if it had won a battle to get there.

Early on in the Mythology (Egypt was around for about 10,000 years, so things changed sometimes) Ra and Set were on the same team, so the Storm God and the Sun God were actually together fighting the Chaos and the Darkness, but later Set became intertwined with Apep in the story, and the Storm God became equivalent to the Chaos and Darkness.

Then according to the Bible, Moses went on top of a Mountain and started talking to this Storm God.

If you have been Christian, or are Christian, or talk to a Christian, then you know that there is supposed to be a difference between the "Old Testament God" and the "New Testament God".There is a reason, for this. Moses took some things from the Egyptian tradition, but not any of the Good stuff. The Tree of Life became hidden, and the Acacia became used as an altar instead of a drink.

But the idea of the "Vengeful God" and the "Jealous God" comes from Mountain and Lightning Worship. Christianity and Judaism started of as Mountain and Lightning Worship. Moses went up to Mount Sianai, where he found a "Fire God" who spoke to him. Then God burned the top of the mountain, some Christians claim to know where this mountain is, and there is a mountain in the Middle East with a Burn on top, and they say that God sat there.

If you look up Jacowitz, you will find a Native American Mountain God. One who accepts Sacrifice, just like the Abrahamic God. The God of Abraham said "The wages of Sin is death" so if you sin, Christians say you are supposed to die. But Jesus died for you. This is Mountain God mentality.

Jacowits is part of a "Holy Trinity" of Gods, also known as a "Triad". Similar to Christianity, ex: Jesus, God and the Holy Ghost. The Native Americans in North America also had a version of this mountain God, they called them "Thunder Birds" and they claimed that they lived on Mountains. A specific example of this is Pamola.

The Mountain Gods and the Lightning/Thunder Gods were very Similar. And you can imagine that when there were no walls, and no electricity, lightning must have seemed a lot more like "The Voice of God".

Hurricanes are named after the South American God Huracan. He is known for taking part in Creation, and the "Global Flood" in Native American myth. Supposedly he created Giants and they displeased him, so he made a flood, then created man. He is represented as a Serpent, or a 1 legged man, because he is the God of Lightning.

The Aztecs had a similar Lightning God named Tlaloc. He was seen as the giver of life, and was feared for his ability to send storms and hail. This was the main religion in Mexico before the Christians came, and most of the Christian worshiping places are actually places that the people used to worship Tlaloc (Mountains, etc). So the Natives basically just had to change the name name of God, then still be scared he might send a storm and stuff. It was really no different except the Christians were telling everyone not to let women on top in bed. Which is a really weird thing to make everyone do.

Chaac was the Mayan Lightning and Storm God. He is an example of an American culture who used the Axe along with the Worship of a Thunder God. You have heard of this before in Europe as "Thor". There are a lot of religions around the world that say Lightning is actually a God who goes up to the sky to strike the clouds and bring rain. Usually lightning is also associated with snakes.

I am not saying that Christianity was a copy of something else, I am saying that a lot of Culture thought that Lightning was the Voice of God. Or that God lived on Mountains.

In the Hindu Religion, the Holy Trinity is Brahma, Vishnu and Shiva. Just like in Christianity, they are all actually 1 God, but he takes 3 forms. His Singular form when he is all 3 is "Creation", but his 3 forms are: Creation, Destruction and Preservation. And destruction is not like Armies attacking people, Destruction is like a Revolution bringing a new Political system. Or a Seed breaking open and becoming a plant. These are examples of "Shiva" type destruction. This Trinity is known as the Trimurti.

In Ancient Greece there was a Holy Trinity: Zeus, Hades and Poseidon. Which is, Sky, Water and Underworld. Zeus also had a half human, half God son called Hercules.
 
Top