WTF are these???

I've had these on my stems for the last month (since I went into flowering). When I scrape them off they leave a gooey mess on the stem and I swear I've seen them hop off the knife once scraped off. Under a microscope, they look like tiny caviar. Very bizarre. Any thought on what they are or how to get rid of them?

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Neem oil with a old toothbrush ...assume is scale insect infestation ..?
to my blog: https://www.rollitup.org/blogs/blog32238-neem-oil.html spray and brush off ...!

I think its scale.
I have not dealt with it but im pretty sure
that is one of like 5000 varieties.
If no one arrives with help.
Google images to verify.

google scale on plants , i think wipe them off with rubbing alcohol

I've had those in the past just scrape them off with your teeth..

eww man gross type of black..thingy...eww!

Those are way bigger than I thought.
I thought I had them and read up a long time ago.
I think they drill into the stem with something like 6x the size of their
body. Then they ooze that shell around them.

Yea they suck the life out of the plant.

From the looks of pictures of scale infections, I'd say you're right on the money. After I scraped them off last week I sprayed the stems with Neem Oil and then again this week after they appeared again. It says not to use on the plants within three weeks of harvest and I'm getting close. Where did these things come from anyway?

edit. ..........