Which Religion Should I Be? Thinking About Joining a Church

beardo

Well-Known Member
So I want your opinions on which religion I should become? which is the best church to join and why? which ones wont be judgemental about pot? which ones are good to new members? what one will give me a job? what one will get me a wife? which one gets me to heaven?
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
Mormon my brother get ur ass to utah.
I was thinking about that but i'm not sure they'll dig me. they always seem to be kind of preppy but I respect them for going door to door to talk to people, can I just go to their church or do I have to be dressed right or know someone?
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
why not try them all out?
I tried being a Jew, a Catholic and a Southern Baptist the baptists are pretty cool their the best I've tried, I was talking to some people called the 12 tribes, their cool to but I didn't join because their trying to have you with them doing what they want, but it didn't seem that bad, just not for me.
 

saganist

Member
a weirdo with a beard
In my travels I am constantly on the lookout for strange new beardos
I can only hope that someday I will attain beardo status
lmao
 

plantvision

Active Member
So I want your opinions on which religion I should become? which is the best church to join and why? which ones wont be judgemental about pot? which ones are good to new members? what one will give me a job? what one will get me a wife? which one gets me to heaven?
Faith not religion, religion is what screws everything up.
The best church to join, only you can answer that, where do you feel fed.
Beware of any church cramming doctrine down your throat, in a good church nobody is judgemental, no one not even the pastor or leaders.
Once again good new members should be treated like an elder, no difference.
Job, I don't know about that one, neither the wife one.

Which one gets you to heaven, NONE OF THEM, you must find that yourself, the church can help.

Good Luck, I have lots more to say on this issue, but I am braindead tired tonight.
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
I wanted to try to go Jew...how come you didnt like it? It looks pretty laid back and easy
I hate fish and I was in jail and jews get special meals and a lot of them are fish which is cool because you can trade it for other food but I went to the hole and couldn't get anything else to eat but my jew meals so I had to see the rabbi and renounce my jewishness so I could get baloney and cheese n shit.
 

indipow82

Well-Known Member
Dizzle frost, being a Jew is by no means easy. I suggest you research and spend some serious time with some Jews to get a real idea. We have Laws and yes it is laid back, but just to become a Jew is difficult in itself. I am Jewish but was born that way so it is for me, just a way life is. It literally changes everything and effects every aspect of your life.
Just a little filler from someone who knows.
 

UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
pastafarianism!

The central belief is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe "after drinking heavily". According to these beliefs, the Monster's intoxication was the cause for a flawed Earth. Furthermore, according to Pastafarianism, all evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith—parodying certain biblical literalists.[30] When scientific measurements such as radiocarbon dating are taken, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage".[10]

The Pastafarian belief of Heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory.[29] The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.[31]

Pastafarians' beliefs extend into religious ceremony. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day.[2] Prayers are concluded with a final declaration of affirmation, "R'amen"; the term is a parodic portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" and the Sino-Japanese noodle dish, ramen.[4]
 

indipow82

Well-Known Member
I hate fish and I was in jail and jews get special meals and a lot of them are fish which is cool because you can trade it for other food but I went to the hole and couldn't get anything else to eat but my jew meals so I had to see the rabbi and renounce my jewishness so I could get baloney and cheese n shit.
If your tried to be Jewish then obviously you are not Jewish to begin with. You would not have to see Rabbi to renounce your Jewishness and the jail will feed you anything unless you request Kosher food. If you were a Jew you would have known that.
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
pastafarianism!

The central belief is that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe "after drinking heavily". According to these beliefs, the Monster's intoxication was the cause for a flawed Earth. Furthermore, according to Pastafarianism, all evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith—parodying certain biblical literalists.[30] When scientific measurements such as radiocarbon dating are taken, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage".[10]

The Pastafarian belief of Heaven contains a beer volcano and a stripper factory.[29] The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.[31]

Pastafarians' beliefs extend into religious ceremony. Pastafarians celebrate every Friday as a holy day.[2] Prayers are concluded with a final declaration of affirmation, "R'amen"; the term is a parodic portmanteau of the Semitic term "Amen" and the Sino-Japanese noodle dish, ramen.[4]
Thanks, I have heard this theory but I watched family guy and they reveled that Stewie Griffin created the universe. I don't know if you caught that one.
But I am seriously looking for a church and a mainstream one I can go to and meet people.
 

Dizzle Frost

Well-Known Member
I hate fish and I was in jail and jews get special meals and a lot of them are fish which is cool because you can trade it for other food but I went to the hole and couldn't get anything else to eat but my jew meals so I had to see the rabbi and renounce my jewishness so I could get baloney and cheese n shit.
Fuck i love fish! But it would suck being stuck with in the can all cuz you were a Jew. My cuzins hubby is a Jew he eats bacon n shit tho....but hes a real Jew..can speak Yid and shit...but the mofo loves his bacon lol
 

beardo

Well-Known Member
If your tried to be Jewish then obviously you are not Jewish to begin with. You would not have to see Rabbi to renounce your Jewishness and the jail will feed you anything unless you request Kosher food. If you were a Jew you would have known that.
??? what? Yeah I was a convert to judasim who had requested kosher meals, I was required to see rabbi to stop kosher meals. I was not a jew but had been banging a jew and living in a kosher household and converted in order to get kosher meals in jail because they were healthier and higher in protein and if it was fish I didn't like I would trade it off but when that was my only source of food I couldn't handle all the fish.
 

Dizzle Frost

Well-Known Member
Dizzle frost, being a Jew is by no means easy. I suggest you research and spend some serious time with some Jews to get a real idea. We have Laws and yes it is laid back, but just to become a Jew is difficult in itself. I am Jewish but was born that way so it is for me, just a way life is. It literally changes everything and effects every aspect of your life.
Just a little filler from someone who knows.
Yeah some of my extended fam is Jew...i didnt mean easy like set it and forget it lol...i meant easy like their way of life.

My dream is to live in Isreal! Hot chicks...good fish and beaches and war...its Gods country!
 

zazahzle

Active Member
So much blood has been shed by the Church because of an omission from the Gospel: "Ye shall be indifferent as to what your neighbor's religion is." Not merely tolerant of it, but indifferent to it. Divinity is claimed for many religions; but no religion is great enough or divine enough to add that new law to its code.
- Mark Twain
 

UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
Thanks, I have heard this theory but I watched family guy and they reveled that Stewie Griffin created the universe. I don't know if you caught that one.
But I am seriously looking for a church and a mainstream one I can go to and meet people.
that episode was actually produced by flying spaghetti monster and planted by his noodly appendage to test your faith.

Yeah some of my extended fam is Jew...i didnt mean easy like set it and forget it lol...i meant easy like their way of life.
i got what you meant but good clarifying. indipow is actually in israel, so things are tougher for him as a jew than us jews here in the states. i don't need to worry about my city being wiped off the planet :)
 
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