Don't worry, new guy/gal. I get it, but incest is overrated. I went to see my mother a while back at her home a few states away. She now has dimensia and has this guy staying with her to look after her. He's ok, not really a mooch or anything, so it seems. His wife died fairly recently from some long term alcohol related disease, so he likes to help and he kind of needed someone to take care of and she likes him, or so she thinks, sometimes. Anyway, now to put this story into perspective you have to understand that starting about the age of 7, my mom started molesting me. It wasn't anything too trumatic or graphic, but there have been a number of long term repercussions that have been pretty significant as far as my ability to intteract with member of the opposite sex, leading to manic episodes, and a little violence, but much has been resolved in therapy over the years.
Of course, when I confronted my mom about it in therapy she got very angry, and then over the next several months there became this kind of very overt type of sexual tension... so one day, in my haze I decided it was a good time to try to seduce her since, well, she had always been this older woman role model, lustful type person in my life, it became very comforting in what seemed a nayural nurturing way. Anyway, I was like why not, what's the worst thing that could happen now, right? And it took me about 22 hours.
So anyway, this is the really horrible part. After mom cums four times, she won't let me finish and she says she's tired, but I'm like all worked up and begging for her to finish me, so she starts giving me the most painful, grudge handjob ever. And she's screaming at me to hurry, so I start telling her how to do it and she keeps changing so it never gets done and sfinally she just gets up and goes to the bathroom' leaving me alone on the bed and wondering how could possibly feel more used. She finally comes back and says she's going to bed, and I'm like well that's about par for the course.
This whole time my window is open and my neighbors are outside apparently listening. I looked out the window to cool off, and my neighbor was like, "man, you got raked", and I;m like, yeah, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me, only it's been a lifetime of shame on me. What are you gonna say, right? Incest is over rated. I did, however, salvage one brief moment of dignity from all of this horrible experience, which was that she went to sleep and I packed out my stuff I started to head out and as I passed her door, she pretended to be asleep but we both knew she wasn't so I pretended to say something vaguley apporpriate and I walked out the door. And that was my obligatory whitacism to dispell the bizarre shittyness of it.
If there's anything good to take from all of this, it's probably that the sex is better than anything else I've ever had with anyone else. I guess it's kind of like being married to someone for 40 years, it's just like c'mon, I know you..you just know each other so it is very familiar and real. So there's that.
