The Trials of Alcoholism

Charlie Ventura

Charlie Ventura

Active Member
I am watching a very good friend kill himself before my eyes with alcohol. He's up to about 20 beers a day. He's 24/7 on this stuff. First thing in the morning, a beer. Last thing at night, a beer. If he gets up in the middle of the night to piss, another beer.

I know that this addiction is terrible and only 10% of those that get into rehabilitation make it. I've gone to AA and gotten their literature to give him. The guy is in denial and makes nothing but excuses.

Not only is he addicted to alcohol, but he's really into "chew." The "chew" is 24/7 as well. He's suffering with stomach and esophagus problems, but doesn't equate them with his addictions. More denile.

Everything in this guys life, all of his personal possessions, his living quarters ... all of it is perfect. Except his two addictions.

Can anyone in this forum who has experience with these addictions come forth with any suggestions? Something that I can take to him to be of help?

Thanks ...

Quote for the day: "Do not wish to be anything but what you are, and try to be that perfectly." --- St. Francis De Sales
 
Marlboro47

Marlboro47

Well-Known Member
I would try to help him get over his addiction with weed. Tell him to smoke a bowl every time he wants a beer. Any other way and it makes the man feel attacked by you because your in his business(since hes always drunk). Otherwise try to get him to AA
 
sync0s

sync0s

Well-Known Member
Unfortunately sometimes the best thing you can do is to let them hit bottom. If you are always there to be a safety net, they will never wake up and realize their problem. An alcoholic or drug addict will not recover if they do not make the choice to do so.

On a side note: fuck AA, that religious cult.
 
Charlie Ventura

Charlie Ventura

Active Member
Thanks for the input guys. Not exactly what I was looking for though.

First of all, he's a total light weight when it comes to weed. One tiny ... and I mean tiny hit and it make him paranoid. And he is ADDICTED to alcohol. He cannot be without it.

On AA being a religious cult ... My brother is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for 25 years. He's a councilor, and very active in AA.

What in Hell is cultist about leading an addict to a Higher Power as a great help in overcoming addiction?
 
R

robmills

Member
Hey sorry about your friend, but how is this politics. Personaly I think u are a retard. You sould be asking your 25 YEAR SOBER BROTHER about this shit instead of a bunch of potheads.
 
Charlie Ventura

Charlie Ventura

Active Member
robmills said:
Hey sorry about your friend, but how is this politics. Personaly I think u are a retard. You sould be asking your 25 YEAR SOBER BROTHER about this shit instead of a bunch of potheads.
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If I wanted an ignorant, asshole response, I would have asked for one.

I HAVE asked my brother for advise. He's the one who led me to AA for literature.
 
Johnnyorganic

Johnnyorganic

Well-Known Member
Addiction is terrible. I believe addicts are filling a need with their substance of choice.

Whatever it is that is keeping him buzzed is the problem. Until he faces that, he will continue to drink like a fish and chew like a billy goat.

Unfortunately, there is nothing you will be able to say to your friend to convince him HE has a problem.

He will have to discover that for himself. Trouble is, addicts only worry about the next fix. Nothing else matters.

Best of luck.
 
racerboy71

racerboy71

bud bootlegger
i hate to say it, but not you or anyone else that you friend knows is going to be able to get him clean and sober.. there's only one way to get clean and sober from my experience, and that's the will to be clean and sober from the person who has the problems..
i know i've gone to rehabs before for my gf, my parents and a few others as well, but it never helped until i finally decided to do it for me, and no one else but me..
i know this is not what you wanted to hear i'm sure, but it's the god honest truth.. until your friend has had enough and admits that he has a problem and wants help for it, nobody is going to be able to help them.. it's hard enough to stop when you really want it, but it's impossible to stop for someone else, believe that..
i think the best thing you can do is tell you buddy that you love them as a friend, and that you're worried about their health, and you can't continue to be friends with this person so long as they continue to do the things that they are doing that bring pain to your life.. tell them that if they ever want to stop and need help with that, then to give you a call and then you'll do everything in your power to get them the help that they need, otherwise, you're in for a long long road watching your friend slowly kill themself..
 
Charlie Ventura

Charlie Ventura

Active Member
^^^ Thanks Johnny. Your advise is important. I can always depend upon you for a respectable response.

Yes, I realize he has to face the problem. Its just really hard to see a good friend with this problem, especially knowing, as my brother says, "he has to hit bottom." My brother tells me of one of his alcoholic friends that was dying in the hospital from liver failure. His last words to my brother was: "I don't have an alcohol problem like you do."

Alcohol is legal. A store is on every corner. I've heard it said that heroin is a lightweight compared to alcohol addiction.
 
racerboy71

racerboy71

bud bootlegger
Charlie Ventura said:
^^^ Thanks Johnny. Your advise is important. I can always depend upon you for a respectable response.

Yes, I realize he has to face the problem. Its just really hard to see a good friend with this problem, especially knowing, as my brother says, "he has to hit bottom." My brother tells me of one of his alcoholic friends that was dying in the hospital from liver failure. His last words to my brother was: "I don't have an alcohol problem like you do."

Alcohol is legal. A store is on every corner. I've heard it said that heroin is a lightweight compared to alcohol addiction.
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very true my friend.. with heroin addiction, you'll only wish you were dead while kicking it, but during alcohol addiction, you can very much die from the withdrawals.. alcohol and benzos are the only two withdrawals that people can die from, yet weed is illegal.. sorry, got a bit off track, but you're right, alcohol is a horribly addictive drug, and people think it's perfectly safe since you can buy it from about five different stores in your town alone, and real addicts have to go to the ghetto to get their real drugs like heroin and the like..
some people even feel the same about prescription drugs.. oh, these can't be addictive or bad for me since my dr prescribed them for me...
 
Charlie Ventura

Charlie Ventura

Active Member
racerboy71 said:
i hate to say it, but not you or anyone else that you friend knows is going to be able to get him clean and sober.. there's only one way to get clean and sober from my experience, and that's the will to be clean and sober from the person who has the problems..
i know i've gone to rehabs before for my gf, my parents and a few others as well, but it never helped until i finally decided to do it for me, and no one else but me..
i know this is not what you wanted to hear i'm sure, but it's the god honest truth.. until your friend has had enough and admits that he has a problem and wants help for it, nobody is going to be able to help them.. it's hard enough to stop when you really want it, but it's impossible to stop for someone else, believe that..
i think the best thing you can do is tell you buddy that you love them as a friend, and that you're worried about their health, and you can't continue to be friends with this person so long as they continue to do the things that they are doing that bring pain to your life.. tell them that if they ever want to stop and need help with that, then to give you a call and then you'll do everything in your power to get them the help that they need, otherwise, you're in for a long long road watching your friend slowly kill themself..
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Thank you so much for that well thought out response, racerboy.

I think he's right on the edge to seek help. He's sick, out of work and getting desperate. His friends (including me), and his family have cut off all financial help. He's trying to live on unemployment insurance. He told me the other day that he was down to his last twenty bucks and can't pay his utility bills. I called the next day and he said he was in the grocery store buying "a few things." Right ... like a 24 pack of Bud Light.

He's at that stage where he is facing a real dilemma ... either get into rehab, which will be paid for by relatives, or get out into the street and live there. I'm afraid he may opt for the street. I won't help him if that's his choice.

Alcohol is the drink of the Devil.
 
racerboy71

racerboy71

bud bootlegger
Charlie Ventura said:
Thank you so much for that well thought out response, racerboy.

I think he's right on the edge to seek help. He's sick, out of work and getting desperate. His friends (including me), and his family have cut off all financial help. He's trying to live on unemployment insurance. He told me the other day that he was down to his last twenty bucks and can't pay his utility bills. I called the next day and he said he was in the grocery store buying "a few things." Right ... like a 24 pack of Bud Light.

He's at that stage where he is facing a real dilemma ... either get into rehab, which will be paid for by relatives, or get out into the street and live there. I'm afraid he may opt for the street. I won't help him if that's his choice.

Alcohol is the drink of the Devil.
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thanks for the kind words.. unfortunately, i'm all too familiar with addiction after my run in with both cocaine and more so heroin.. but after giving up my fight, i just had 10 years clean this past may 13th.. woot woot, lol.. i don't wish addiction on anyone though, it really is a horrible way to live and have to exist.
i wouldn't say booze is the drink of the devil though, it's fine so long as it's used in moderation, and people don't let it take over their lives.. it's not really the drugs fault ime, but rather what some people let it do to them and their lives..
it sounds like you're buddy might be reaching the end of his rope, and hopefully this is the last push that he needs to get some help.. it sounds like his family and friends are doing the right thing by cutting him off.. i'll keep him in mind and hope he gets better..
 
kmksrh21

kmksrh21

Well-Known Member
Charlie Ventura said:
Thank you so much for that well thought out response, racerboy.

I think he's right on the edge to seek help. He's sick, out of work and getting desperate. His friends (including me), and his family have cut off all financial help. He's trying to live on unemployment insurance. He told me the other day that he was down to his last twenty bucks and can't pay his utility bills. I called the next day and he said he was in the grocery store buying "a few things." Right ... like a 24 pack of Bud Light.

He's at that stage where he is facing a real dilemma ... either get into rehab, which will be paid for by relatives, or get out into the street and live there. I'm afraid he may opt for the street. I won't help him if that's his choice.

Alcohol is the drink of the Devil.
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I've been in your friends situation as well... I was drunk, high and homeless for a good while. People who loved and cared for me tried their hardest to do whatever they could... Not only did I hit rock bottom, I grabbed a bottle and chilled there for a bit. There was something in me one day that just said this shit has to stop, after the loss of friends, family, money, etc. and I made the concious decision to take action. I phoned the people that were trying to help before and they were all glad to hear the news and were more than willing to help, I did the whole AA thing with rehab and that helped for a while, but wasn't my cup of tea. Point is Racerboy is right, your friend has to want to stop drinking and once he admits he has a problem (1st step) then your friendship comes into play. Maybe even introduce your brother that has 25 years sobriety to this guy (after he's ready). Good luck to you and your friend. After years of drug abuse and alcoholism, I'm currently a productive member of society. Anyone can do it if they have the will...:joint:
 
DrFever

DrFever

New Member
i say be a friend and buy him a gun lol kiddin nothing your going to do is goin to change him you tryed IMO i would suggest letting him know your conerns and tellling him you will not be hanging around him if he stays doin this
 
UncleBuck

UncleBuck

Well-Known Member
you really have no control.

it is his choice to enter recovery or not, he is in denial. thus, there is nothing you can do.

be there to keep him from hurting himself or others, that is as far as your role can go.

i wish you only the best of luck and condolences.
 
undertheice

undertheice

Well-Known Member
no amount of cajoling will ever convince a man in denial that he has a problem. no number of bitchy friends, lovers or relatives can force a man to see his own weakness. each nagging voice merely strengthens our resolve to go our own way, so matter how destructive. it's already been said that one must have the will to change, but what sparks that will into action is different in each man. some of us require the loss of everything, while others are lucky enough to realize what lies ahead and force themselves to change. all that can be done is to be a constant gentle reminder of the reality of any addiction.
 
sync0s

sync0s

Well-Known Member
Charlie Ventura said:
Thanks for the input guys. Not exactly what I was looking for though.

First of all, he's a total light weight when it comes to weed. One tiny ... and I mean tiny hit and it make him paranoid. And he is ADDICTED to alcohol. He cannot be without it.

On AA being a religious cult ... My brother is a recovering alcoholic who has been sober for 25 years. He's a councilor, and very active in AA.

What in Hell is cultist about leading an addict to a Higher Power as a great help in overcoming addiction?
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Would you label an alcoholic insane?
 
R

redivider

Well-Known Member
you cannot replace alcohol with weed. he's addicted, and it doesn't have to be alcohol. there's something hurting there and he's covering it up.

there's only one way out of addiction and that's detox and psychological help.
 
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