The best advice you ever got?

Never break more than one law at a time.

Work smarter, not harder.

All that glitters is not gold.

Never pee into the wind.

If you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem

When picking up hookers, tell them you're only interested in nude photos, undercover cops will never agree to this, because its legal.

Should you get a flat tire, take a photograph o nyour phone and save it, use it as an excuse to get out of bullshit situations.

Omgwtfbbq Indicaman said:

Should you get a flat tire, take a photograph o nyour phone and save it, use it as an excuse to get out of bullshit situations.

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Ive done this!

I also have one with the belt off lol.

Don't bother trying to understan dhow.women think, women understand how women think and they can't stand one another.

If your woman says to you "do whatever you want", DONT DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

If you plan on letting your girldfriend move into your home, hide all your valuable and guy stuff, she will try to get rid of them. This is also true if you plan on breaking up with said woman.

How about...

...my old red neck boss,

" Fuckem all but six, save them for paullbearers "

An empty mind has a productive body.

"You don't want to eat that." cn

This pearl from my mom....

Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed.

Fallow your heart. -Father

Your life is what you make it. -Brother

Always think original thoughts. -Mother

"keep on keeping on"
"life's a garden, dig it"

Don't get married.

"I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time as in the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should"

"Get a gun, shoot yourself in the foot, go home."

"its better to be quiet and look like an idiot, then to open your mouth and prove your an idiot"