Tell Me The Most Funniest Sex Incident You Ever Had And I'll Tell You Mine?

april

Pickle Queen
Giving children liquor, are u fucking kidding me!!!!!!! IF I EVER SAW ANY ADULT GIVING A CHILD ALCOHOL I WOULD TOSS IT IN THAT ADULTS FACE AND GIVE THEM A PIECE OF MY FUCKING MIND!!!! WTF!!????

Eat more fruit and sweeter food, men tend to eat too much salty shit, makes their cum taste like sea salt, could u swallow a warm sticky glob of sea salt??
 

puffntuff

Well-Known Member
I knocked this girl off in a changing room at Macy's. The lady working comes to the door like not to interrupt but I can here you all from a ways away!!
 

april

Pickle Queen
I knocked this girl off in a changing room at Macy's. The lady working comes to the door like not to interrupt but I can here you all from a ways away!!
Next time kiss her, with lots of tongue, keeps both parties a bit more quiet ;)
 

lime73

Weed Modifier
Eat more fruit and sweeter food, men tend to eat too much salty shit, makes their cum taste like sea salt, could u swallow a warm sticky glob of sea salt??
hell no!
but then again she would gag without the finish! ;)
 

heathaa

Well-Known Member
Dont know if this is funny or gross...i was fuckin this girl in the butt and i pulled out for a minute and there was this little turd on the head of my dick..well i just thumped it off and it stuck to the wall then went back to fuckin..always wondered what she thought when she found a turd on the wall...
i was fuckin my wife many years ago and this thing happened so im fuckin her butt and a green turd came out on the head of my dick. i went into the shower and started thrusting my hips and makin my junk flap up and down to knock it off. the only reason it came off cuz i was floppin my shit. and the turd stuck in my belly button. i didnt want to touch it but after it entered the belly button i reached in there and scooped it like a spoon and flipped it in the toilet.
 

heathaa

Well-Known Member
one time i was at the local peir fishing and i was all fishy. this girl i knew said she was running to her car and meeting me on the beach. so i ran to the waters edge and took a puertorican shower with salt water. washed my hands and arms and legs and got all the fish crap off me. i ended up taking all my clothes off and jumping in the saltwater so i wouldnt smell like fish from fishing all day. so i put my clothes on and here she comes. we walk down the beach and she starts giving me head. then she asked me if i eat a lot of veggies? i said yes which i did. then i asked why and she said my dick was salty so of course i agreed with her veggie theory and let her finish up
 

dLoc07

Active Member
Thump Easy, You should not be on a computer!!! The jist of the story was funny, once i figured out what the fuck you were trying to say. You were all over the place and cant type for shit!! If i didnt have to sit here for 15 mins trying to follow the story and decipher it, it might have been alot funnier!
 

puffntuff

Well-Known Member
I was getting head from this girl in a bar parking lot. This truck pulls up next to me he glances over sees me getting head and smiles. The girl leans up like ohh shit that was my uncle!!
 

puffntuff

Well-Known Member
I was hooking up with this chick at the bar after it closed we left and went to her sisters house. We get to fuckbg I'm waxing her suit from the back after a bit I roll over and let her ride. The door comes swinging open and her bf was standing there looking at us. I smack her ass and I'm like you need to handle that! About 5 min later she's comeback in and we resume to fucking. She's riding me reverse cowgirl style. She leans away from me and my dick slides out. So I hop up and put it in her ass. I bust in her ass and then she sucks the fuck outta my dick. About 2 weeks later I see her again at the bar hooking up with one of my friends!! I told dude about the ATM!! Needless to say he was pissed cuz I told all of our buddies!!!
 

......

Well-Known Member
Giving children liquor, are u fucking kidding me!!!!!!! IF I EVER SAW ANY ADULT GIVING A CHILD ALCOHOL I WOULD TOSS IT IN THAT ADULTS FACE AND GIVE THEM A PIECE OF MY FUCKING MIND!!!! WTF!!????
yea I didn't agree with him doing it but I aint bout to tell him how to raise his kids.
 

Luger187

Well-Known Member
Nope, either way lol
scared of a little poop? haha

i think i was 16 at the time. i was at this chicks house about to bang her. we were both naked and i just slipped the rubber on. then the front door opens. were on the second story, so i cant exactly jump out the window lol. she gets dressed and goes downstairs for a minute, then comes back up. she says "alright, im gonna keep my dad busy in the kitchen while u sneak out the front door". so i get dressed and wait at the top of the stairs for her to start talkin to him. then i bolt downstairs quietly, only to have the screen door make a huge screeching noise when i open it. i KNOW hes going to come look, so i get on the other side of the door real quick, and shut it. then i act like i just walked up and knocked on the door hahaha. i figured if i ran, hed see me runnin down the street and assume the worst. she came to the door and basically told me to get the fuck out, so i walked to my truck and left.

also i lost my virginity at a hotel party. everyone went to go pick up drugs, so it was just me and this girl, and another chick. i was havin sex on one bed, while the other chick was sitting on the other bed just watching tv/us lol. i really wanted to ask her to join, but i was too nervous(i regretted it after), and earlier she showed her tits to everyone immediately after showing up at the party. so i figured she wasnt very clean and i didnt have rubbers
 

Tenner

Well-Known Member
scared of a little poop? haha

i think i was 16 at the time. i was at this chicks house about to bang her. we were both naked and i just slipped the rubber on. then the front door opens. were on the second story, so i cant exactly jump out the window lol. she gets dressed and goes downstairs for a minute, then comes back up. she says "alright, im gonna keep my dad busy in the kitchen while u sneak out the front door". so i get dressed and wait at the top of the stairs for her to start talkin to him. then i bolt downstairs quietly, only to have the screen door make a huge screeching noise when i open it. i KNOW hes going to come look, so i get on the other side of the door real quick, and shut it. then i act like i just walked up and knocked on the door hahaha. i figured if i ran, hed see me runnin down the street and assume the worst. she came to the door and basically told me to get the fuck out, so i walked to my truck and left.
Hahaha swiftly done :D I tried doing my gf up the butt once and she said stop! I was like what? She said you don`t want to know LOL

I guess do it when the runways clean? I can`t like not fuck that butt though its gotta happen sometime ;)
 

dLoc07

Active Member
i was maken a stop in KANSAS dodge city my dad lives out thier so i go to c a friend.... i stay at a hotel at the tym i was pritty popular the guy from california ya i guess? so a friend angle from pico rivera n criss some white cat from san jose coolest guys i ever met well we were a group in kansas n we had fun together all the tym man i miss those guys... i hope they r doing okay.... if u read this get at me.... anyways we go to this party man n one of the hottest girls is thier she blond green eyes n is hispanic man she was so hot i couldnt believe how hot she was... i for shure thought criss or angle was gona get that..... NOPE she came to me n grabed me from my hand i was young about 21 i was shocked my friends were drinking we all were n i get the thumbs up it was her house the party was at... well i follow her to her room! man i look around n i see play girl all over the fucken room pillow dicks pincels made like dicks i c just a galery of penises everywere... so okay she loves dick.... well she asks me my name and tells me ur one of the cali boys i say i guess but that not all true i arizona cali new mexico i mean i lived all over but i say ya... she kisses me the lights go out im buzzed n im like FUCK IS THIS REALY HAPPENING? cuz man im lucky we lock into a full fledge tongue mach...

Please just stop writing on here... youre making yourself sound like a bigger idiot than before!!! WOW! You made out with a hot chick!!! AWESOME! #1, she was either ugly, or youre lying!! either way i dont care... im just sick of reading your shit and not understanding wtf youre even saying. You also said you were young, around 21, which means youre around 30 ish now... if not older?? Thats fine... nothing wrong with being that old... but there is something wrong with you being 30 ish, and not even knowing how to speak english, or type a normal sentence that makes fucking sense!! You were the popular cali guy... BULLSHIT!! Talking the way you do... i dont even see desperate girls thinking youre cool, let alone anyone else! Save your bullshit stories and horrible english for the, maybe, "Im a fucking illegal immigrant" forum next time!!:wall:
 
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