Stoner Jokes

any body know any good jokes that can only make a stoner laugh?

ill start it off

Two muffins are getting baked in an oven, the first muffin looks over to the second muffin and says "holy shit its getting REALLY hot in here"

the second muffin jumps back in astonishment and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"








So my friend got a new dog and swore that it could talk and told me that i could ask it any question i wanted so i asked him "whats the brown stuff on trees"
"bark"
then i asked "whats on top of a house"
"roof"
then i asked okay mr smartie, "who was that guy in baywatch and night rider"
and the dog said "david hasslehoff"

Why can't Hellen Keller have children?


















She's dead.

lmao

why did hellen kellers dog kill it self?






cause she named it "blaboflager"

Did you know, that when Hellen Keller was a young child, her parents built a GIANT playground in the backyard for her to play on?
























Neither did she.

a man was dating 3 women. He gave each of them $5000 as a test.

The first woman went out and got a makeover: new boobs, thinner waist, new haircut...
She said "I made myself beautiful for you because I love you."

The second woman went out and bought a big screen TV, a new set of golf clubs, and a new stereo.
She said, "I bought you these nice things because I love you."

The final woman put all $5000 in the stock market, and doubled her investment. She gave back the $5000 and reinvested the rest.
She said, "I planned for our future because I love you."

The man thought long and hard about the three women, and what they had done with what he had given them. He considered all things very carefully.

He married the one with the biggest tits.

lmao.... nice keep em coming

TodayIsAGreenday said:

any body know any good jokes that can only make a stoner laugh?

ill start it off

Two muffins are getting baked in an oven, the first muffin looks over to the second muffin and says "holy shit its getting REALLY hot in here"

the second muffin jumps back in astonishment and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"

Click to expand...

That's probably funnier if you leave off the last line.

Anyway, here's my contribution.

Knock! Knock!

Who's there?

Dave!

Dave's not here, man!

Do you know the difference between a cop a a stoner?










The Stoner inhales, and the cop just sucks.