Kinda long, sorry.
I tried it for the first time last night, and it was completely insane. It was fairly concentrated salvia, not totally sure of the extract. But basically, it started off immediately after taking the hit (did a big hit out of the bong, held it in for as long as possible). I did another big hit, and then eventually another for some reason I'm not totally sure of. Well, starting from the beginning, remember the most blazed you have ever been. Then picture yourself in a car speeding at 100mph past that intense of a high, watching as it disappears into the rear-view mirror. So now, as I'm accelerating into an intense high, I begin to get kind of confused. I can no longer talk, in that my tongue will not function. It felt like I was trying to produce words faster than I was able to physically express them. So I'm here trying to talk to my friends and I'm unable to. My friends all looked like human legos, that is they were sectioned off into parts and each had defined lego characteristics, such weird plastic looking lips and stuff like that. I stared at my friends striped sweatshirt, which had essentially come alive, and was amazed and confused, trying to tell him what I was seeing. Soon realizing my attempts have been and would be completely futile no matter how hard I tried, I just had to sit down and stop trying to converse all together.
Then I became kind of confused. Things were not apparent to me for some reason. For example, I didn't remember exactly what had happened to me; why I was feeling this and acting this way. I
I began to feel extremely small and insignificant, in a way I couldn't cope with. I was basically helpless, like my ego had been ripped away and was being held above my head just out of reach. I felt trapped and felt myself going down a path of illogical terror. For example, I began to panic at the thought of all the "stuff" I had to do that night. That stuff was walking ten minutes back to my place, showering, brushing my teeth, etc. All the little things began to overwhelm me. So I just stopped and calmed the fuck down, stopped thinking negative thoughts and basically went off on a different path in my mind. Still, I was in a weird state. I felt as if everyone in the room was talking about me, whispering about me. Like I had a spotlight on me. I felt as if I was acting retarded (which i probably was) and I wanted to stop, but I truly couldn't help it. This kind of added to my feeling of universal helplessness, almost like I was a puppet on a string.
After this had all happened, I just laid back, closed my eyes, and was basically having more vivid daydreams. I could also rationalize problems and deal with them more effectively, like having different perspective to help me. I could almost call it anti-rationalization in the Freudian sense, as I was dealing with problems in a raw manner without inhibition or any defense mechanisms whatsoever. So I laid down and kind of pictured I was on a wooden roller coaster, under the sea, etc. These were less intense and more controlled. I could begin to talk again.
I guess it sounds like I had a pretty shitty experience overall, but it wasn't horrible. It was kind of fun. I want to try it again in a different environment. I would like to be as alone as possible, maybe with one other person there to make sure I don't hurt myself. But I just want to explore my mind without having to worry how about how others percieve me, as it seems while tripping I was self-critical when I happened to remember where I was. Maybe dress in gym shorts this time, as it felt like my belt was choking my waist. I think it will help that I know what to expect, and I can react accordingly. As I read somewhere, I think on erowid, this time I would "take the angels for angels."
and pull a fat rip, which is like smoking a bowl of 2CB. People dont generally go out there and snort a 2 foot long line of coke either. So thats why most experiences are bad with Salvia. That, and the fact that people like to peer pressure others into doing shit thats bad for themselves.
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lol
