LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
And thank you kind Sir, this is exactly what I was seeking, again, thank you.
Random Jabber Jibber thread
- Thread starter mr sunshine
- Start date
Sorry for your loss
Nothing wrong with reaching out for help though know it’s a good thing
cannabineer
Ursus marijanus
Make sure the word salvage isn’t there.
Grandpapy
Well-Known Member
+ Rep
omgBoNg
Well-Known Member
I feel ya, although I was the younger one. My boss, my friend, my comrade shot himself 2 weeks after we started for the season. Rough times my brother. They forget how many they hurt just by leaving without a goodbye. My regards.
I can't like your post but I can say suicide always has a very deep anger component.
Stop hurting yourself, don't let the dark win.
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
Thanks everyone, it's kind of amazing the comfort and solace some random strangers on the internet can provide. Maybe not, we're all as humans one big complicated family.
shrxhky420
Well-Known Member
I don't know if any of what I say will help but here it goes...
My neighbor's daughter did the same, she was only 18 or just about to turn 18, either way; it was tragic.
I think about her often (daily), she grew up around my kids, she was part of our family. It took time to gain a sense of normalcy. I'll never be fully over it.
I tell you these things so you are aware, things will never be the same. You will grow into your new life. I'll tell you what... my new life is better knowing she was a part of it.
I've come across a lot of people in this world and many of them I don't remember... I'm happy to know I'll never forget her.
Honor her.
SH420
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
You know I met with my buddy last night, the boyfriend survivor and I told him maybe this tragedy is and appropriately with her name an opportunity to grow, learn from this and better ourselves through this tragedy. I have to believe this means something greater than what it is.I don't know if any of what I say will help but here it goes...
My neighbor's daughter did the same, she was only 18 or just about to turn 18, either way; it was tragic.
I think about her often (daily), she grew up around my kids, she was part of our family. It took time to gain a sense of normalcy. I'll never be fully over it.
I tell you these things so you are aware, things will never be the same. You will grow into your new life. I'll tell you what... my new life is better knowing she was a part of it.
I've come across a lot of people in this world and many of them I don't remember... I'm happy to know I'll never forget her.
Honor her.
SH420
Aeroknow
Well-Known Member
Imo fucked up shit like that is just a part of what we have to deal with in this thing called life. I don’t think there’s some higher power/Devine Being who does this shit to us to teach us a lessons. I think that’s fucking nuts, but again, my opinion,
I can tell you 100% from experience though that dealing with these things with drugs and alcohol isn’t good. You’re def better off dealing with it sober. Get the initial grieving over and let time heal the wound as much as it does.
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
Yeah me and my buddy talked about our lack of religion, how we hope that she's still with us, somewhere but neither of us believe that. The drugs and alcohol is all I've known, even right now I'm drinking while having intense tremors, I should probably check myself into detox again, but I feel like I can ride it out. Tonight was hard, we walked the town and had the best time we could all this considered but also drank a ton on top of a several day hangover, I'm not sure how we weren't arrested. I have evidently cuts and brusies I'm not sure what happened though. I just remember vomiting on the sidewalk and urinating in the alley.
Aeroknow
Well-Known Member
That’s all I ever knew too! What I said comes from allot of experience.
Use this shitty experience as a reason to clean yourself up! You keep getting fucked up there’s about a 100% chance you’re just gonna make things worse.
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
It's a self fulfilling prophecy, you never really and honestly come to grips and just postpone the enviable. That said here comes another shot of crown in between glasses of vodka
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
Yeah man I'm trying to see the silver lining, I mean I do, it's staring me I the God damn face, it's shaking me awake while I sleep. Her death has to mean something, and it certainly does, but if it's the impetus of change then however tragic it does mean something
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
You know one of the worst things, I can't tell, which I know I'm depressed, but I almost feel like I'm scapegoating her death for an excuse to drink, how fucking sick is that.
Grandpapy
Well-Known Member
It's normal.
Mourning is best done when you can "feel", that's when it works to bring life back to normal.
In my experience drinking just prolongs the emotional baggage you have to lug around.
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
Thank you, I'm currently drunk off my ass and quietly weeping, I've tried so hard not to but it's helping I think. Maybe idk. I feel so bad for friend, no fuck that my brother, my family. He seems okay, he's managing at least
BarnBuster
Virtually Unknown Member
this for sure
Get some professional help, brother. All the signs are here.
LostInEthereal
Well-Known Member
Yeah man it was just over two months ago when I initially checked in, they wanted me to attend IOP or AA, even set me up with a therapist and social worker, all of it. I stopped taking my naltrexone after falling off the band-wagon, I've been even worse a drunk since, well I was functional at least. Currently not so much, it's gotten pretty bad. The thing I hate the most is I was always from about 12-23 primarily a stoner, started working night shift and in an instant became an alcoholic. It's been over ten years, OD'd on heroin while drunk, as well as some random internet research chemicals. I'm in bad shape, just can't seem to get out of this rut.