My trainwreck's leaves are getting spots all over it?? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT??? (PICS)

She's outside in the ground the soil is happy frog, the water is not ph'd ane is watered every other day! No nut's or extra fert's

Looks like bugs, Ive never seen leaf miners before.... could be that. Could be thrips but dosn't look quite right for them. Spots look too large for mites.
Check the undersides of the leaves. Use a microscope or good magnifier I'm guessing whatever is doing it is very small.

got me stumped!

I've got something that looks similar on my plants, although it seems to be localized to the outer edge of the leaves. In my case it was a CaMg+ deficiency. Once I added some MagiCal to the soil, new growth seems healthy. Old growth won't recover however. Not sure if that's what you've got, but it does look somewhat the same.

What if my dog touched the plants?? or if people where smoking around it??

cig smoke is poison to mj plants

It does look like Mg deficiency.

Manganese (Mg) works with plant enzymes to reduce nitrates before producing proteins. A lack of manganese turns young leaves a mottled yellow or brown.

regards,