moral speedbump....i guess

I got into being a caregiver for 2 reasons...the same 2 reasons most do i guess,.
1. extra scratch
2. to help people or vice versa depending
while i have been making some extra scratch (not much after dte upgrades and such) and helping people i suppose i am feeling like something is lacking. or in another way i guess i am feeling unfulfilled. it's not been how i thought it would be being a caregiver and on the other hand it's kinda how i expected it to be. i feel like a dealer most of the time as my current patients go through alot of meds. 10zips a month between the 2 of them and i'm not sure if they may even be reselling it as they get it extremely cheap from me 2.5ozs for$350) and are they in pain? i'm sure they are to some degree one more than the other. i was looking forward to actually making a real difference in someones life. crohns, ms, cancer maybe someone who really relied on mj to make all the world of difference in their lives. maybe then i'd ACTUALLY feel like a caregiver and not just a supplier. my new patient that i am just now working with has severe muscle spasms migraines and has diabetes. we've only had one meeting that went very well and i'm going to do all i can to help with his ailments (flowers, bho, rso ecig refills) but still not really feeling like i'm making a REAL difference....anyway sorry for the rambling been a long drawn out week so far. poor poor pitful me yes i know. time for some bud and a budlight

We all do our part in little ways brother. I know it would be nice to hang out at the cancer ward of our local hospitals and help those in need as they walk away from chemotherapy or the like. Although given the current legal environment that just is not feasible. Keep up the good fight

Yes, Keep up the good fight brother!! You are making a difference.

eh. just keep doin' what i can. just not that big on feeling like the corner bag slinger is all.

In the world of life. We are all just whores....

hey glad, stow and i are gonna get together here in the next few days hopefully so i can pass along my "gratitude and happy thoughts". not fond of paypal at the moment it's going to stow in the form of my other favorite green. said he's gonna see belle next time she's downstate and will pass it along

gladstoned said:

In the world of life. We are all just whores....

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HA!! So true..

gladstoned said:

In the world of life. We are all just whores....

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and sometimes we're the "johns"

I've been both

Thank You mrbungle.

shit don't mention it. good people y'all are

Drugs are dealt, ganga is bestowed. I am a firm believer if everyone on this planet smoked herb once a week in spiritual or ceremonious way
the world would be a better place on many,many levels.

I love Themans idea of gifting an envelope to everyone leaving chemo too. I would gladly get busted for that.

I can understand how you feel mr b........ Know this you ARE making a difference. I have talked to caregivers that only have one patient and they say the same thing that is feels like they are not doing enough. I tell them they probably have no idea the level of help they are giving that one patient......... And to change one persons life on that level is HUGE..........

Soo. Does the shit that gets ya through the night come easier, or harder, as we come to learn life's little lessons?

I felt the same way for a while myself, in the last 3 1/2 years since I started my caregiving journey(the legal one that is) ive been wanting to help others without feeling like a "drug dealer", so I spent the last 2 years looking for the perfect patients and ive found them, ive always been a little skeptical on the actual benefits of cannabis other that getting high, but ill tell ya what im convinced now that it does have many benefits some im sure we don't even know about yet, I have 2 terminal AIDS patients as well as 2 vets with PTSD amongst other things as well as an 70 year old cancer patient well cannabis has helped every single one out, aids patients gained weigh were able to eat regularly, vets didn't have nightmares or nerves as much as before I give them lower dose strains, and the cancer patient I make RSO for still has the cancer but as she told me in her words"that oil is a miracle" she fuctions really well now after 6 months of taking it daily, tumor has not shrunk so far though, so there are people that really do need this and as an ex skeptical im conviced it has many medical benefits. Look for those patients, youll feel a lot better and not so much drug dealerish.

I think it gets easier....... When we learn the real impact we are having on peoples lives, there is nothing like it........

Lionden said:

I felt the same way for a while myself, in the last 3 1/2 years since I started my caregiving journey(the legal one that is) ive been wanting to help others without feeling like a "drug dealer", so I spent the last 2 years looking for the perfect patients and ive found them, ive always been a little skeptical on the actual benefits of cannabis other that getting high, but ill tell ya what im convinced now that it does have many benefits some im sure we don't even know about yet, I have 2 terminal AIDS patients as well as 2 vets with PTSD amongst other things as well as an 70 year old cancer patient well cannabis has helped every single one out, aids patients gained weigh were able to eat regularly, vets didn't have nightmares or nerves as much as before I give them lower dose strains, and the cancer patient I make RSO for still has the cancer but as she told me in her words"that oil is a miracle" she fuctions really well now after 6 months of taking it daily, tumor has not shrunk so far though, so there are people that really do need this and as an ex skeptical im conviced it has many medical benefits. Look for those patients, youll feel a lot better and not so much drug dealerish.

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Well said...........bravo.............

Lionden said:

I felt the same way for a while myself, in the last 3 1/2 years since I started my caregiving journey(the legal one that is) ive been wanting to help others without feeling like a "drug dealer", so I spent the last 2 years looking for the perfect patients and ive found them, ive always been a little skeptical on the actual benefits of cannabis other that getting high, but ill tell ya what im convinced now that it does have many benefits some im sure we don't even know about yet, I have 2 terminal AIDS patients as well as 2 vets with PTSD amongst other things as well as an 70 year old cancer patient well cannabis has helped every single one out, aids patients gained weigh were able to eat regularly, vets didn't have nightmares or nerves as much as before I give them lower dose strains, and the cancer patient I make RSO for still has the cancer but as she told me in her words"that oil is a miracle" she fuctions really well now after 6 months of taking it daily, tumor has not shrunk so far though, so there are people that really do need this and as an ex skeptical im conviced it has many medical benefits. Look for those patients, youll feel a lot better and not so much drug dealerish.

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i think you've hit the nail on the head. exactly where i'm at. i want to find the right patients to progress in our journey together. for me = a sense of spiritual enlightenment i guess you could say and for them = relief and hope

GregS said:

Soo. Does the shit that gets ya through the night come easier, or harder, as we come to learn life's little lessons?

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depends on the night and what i used to get me through it

I have had the honor of caregiving for some loved ones before they left this world and I have a few more patients as well who will not be with me much longer due to aging and disease . It has been a very spiritual journey here seeing others find relief while changing there lives and my own for the better part but with this honor comes much heartbreak too . Loosing patients and being there in the last moments is really heavy on the soul .

I too have had my moments when I felt like a dealer with some folks but those people are easy to read and I adjust my mind set with them while I play mr dope dealer as I refuse to be taken for any ride by anyone . I prefer to be in control of the wheel if you know what I mean . There are no drug dealers out there who put the love and devotion into there meds and I refuse to have my meds put into a drug bracket so to say as even my head highs help those with mental illness nine out of ten times when it appears to be recreational .

Keep the meds flowing and sooner or later you ll find the connection and path you quest .. Best of wishes .........PotSnob